mundrakan - Tumblr blog

[mundrakan]

Prompt: Room-mate AU

@wolfstarmicrofic - 226 words

“I bring your new room-mate.” James pointed and tried to look confident at the same time as signalling to Sirius that the student housing management probably wouldn't take it lightly, if he managed to bully another new tenant out of here.

But no one could look disinterested and bored like Sirius when he was in a mood. He even scratched his crotch, something James had never seen him do under normal circumstances. Only if he wanted to be nasty. With a slow, rolling motion he stood up and walked towards them, until he could see the first year Remus Lupin thoroughly.

Only... where James had expected another spiel of standing behind the new boy for long enough that he gets nervous and runs away, suddenly Sirius' already pale face lost all colour. “Oh...”

James had seen him like that only once before... when the girl he was kissing turned out to be very much a boy.

James eyes went back and forth between the two. Could it be, that...

Before he could come to a result of his thoughts, Sirius had collected himself. “Uhm... tea... How about tea, everyone. And then we can talk out the details of you moving in? What do you think?”

Well... that was unexpected. Or maybe not.

James wouldn't have minded to pet this hair or caress these scars either.

[mundrakan]

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

[mundrakan]

new explanation for remadora: remus and tonks became genre aware and thought the only way to survive the war and avoid the bury your gays trope was to get straight married

[mundrakan]

you know i have never heard a convincing arguement as to why AO3 should not moderate the content that is posted to their website and i think a lot of the arguement against moderation on AO3 boils down to, terminally online people thinks community moderation is the same as government censorship and personally sending the cops to someone’s house to arrest them irl/

[mundrakan]

I challenged myself to paint at least(!) one Sirius Black art a month this year, so here is the April painting! And as I haven’t had much time in April, I made a more detailed artwork :') Well, but it was a lot of fun! I also added a close up because I really like his face in this one :)

[mundrakan]

Severus Snape from Harry Potter

Please reblog for a larger sample size.

[mundrakan]

Just Another Autistic LARPer

(I need to vent.)

I was so brutally bullied into submission growing up, I consciously forced myself to learn to mask. Then I was taught to make accommodations for people who didn't or couldn't mask. It hurt, because I was never offered the same considerations. Of course I believe they deserved accommodations - I just wanted that, too. Now I'm angry, but trying not to be. I had to find ways to manage.

When I was twenty, I started LARPing. I invented a character who was loud, rude, and stupid. This way, when I opened my mouth, I didn't have to be afraid of what people thought of me. If they hated my personality, I was just playing my character right. Sometimes, even when I played her, I just wandered around quietly, staring. As in my real life, I felt unwanted. But sometimes I forced myself to hoot and holler - enough that I had a reputation as a loud ditz that followed me to my social interactions with LARPers outside of the games.

At least, I learned the basics of interacting. You open your mouth and make sounds. People react. You try to make the right sounds.

I used that to get along for the rest of my life. I learned to make eye contact by working at a grocery store. Customers get angry when you don't pay attention to them. The more I masked, the more I learned to mask. The more I LARPed, the more autistic people I met. I felt like they were my people, but I felt like they were looking at me as an outsider now, too, like everyone else.

For a while, I only played "weird" characters at LARPs. Characters that would be outsiders because, I told myself, I was acting. Then I played characters who had what I didn't have - self confidence and self love. Characters who just assumed they were the best and the most beloved. Characters who didn't feel guilt for being alive. That felt good, I'm not gonna lie.

The more I played outgoing characters, the more I learned to mask. But there were always these moments, even in chatacter, where my throat went silent, and nobody invited me to sit by them, so I still felt wrong and unwanted.

I used everything I learned there in my real life, to work. That's what we train our whole lives for. I had a hard time keeping a job. I have a hard time understanding what people want from me. I have a hard time managing my job, and my temper. I never felt cut out for great ambitions.

When I finally worked up the courage to be tested for autism and adhd, my therapist at the time said, "You can't have those. You're good at holding a conversation, and you make eye contact. Plus, autistic people don't really know how to have feelings."

I will be 43 in a month. I was just diagnosed - ADHD a few months ago, autism a few weeks ago (plus ADHD confirmed.) But I feel like my sense of self has been absolutely and completely bullied and trained out of me. I feel like I don't belong in any world.

I'm not in any danger of hurting myself or leaving this world. I'm just sad, and busy picking up the pieces.

[mundrakan]

You are doing something right then. We all need a safe space and I am very proud that you created yourself one. I enjoy watching your journey of slowly becoming better and if you ever feel like talking (or think I can help with something), feel free to :)

You seem better lately, but still troubled. What can we do to make your days better?

Way to call me out lmaooo.

But you're right, I am doing better. Therapy has been helping me a lot. Tumblr is my safe space, so I rant here where no one I know IRL can see it, haha.

I think the main thing is just letting me do my thing. Reblogging things you see that remind you of me and tagging me makes my day (I mean, who doesn't love attention) I'm really at peace with the way things are.

Like, maybe I deserve the happiness I feel

[mundrakan]

Today I feel good. Really good. I had a longer sleep than usual, the kids are sweet, and I got some writing done. SO I want the positivity to spread.

Whoever reads this and needs it: take a bit of my good mood and take it for yourself. Take a hug from me, a kiss on the cheek, a hot tea or cool lemonade. A bit of chocolate. A sausage. A nap. Comfortable shoes and a smile from someone who you want to be closer with. A bit of pride of yourself. Anything. Just take it and use it as needed.

[mundrakan]

Prompt: Dystopian

@wolfstarmicrofic - 183 words

Smoke filled they air to the point where one could see barely anything. Remus sniffed but his nose had long given up on him in this smog. Suddenly something moved and out of nowhere a man stood there, watching him scramble through the garbage in search for food. A man in actual clothes, clean and crisp, hair long and wavy, neither clumped nor dingy. “Want something?”

One could not trust those wizards. They were dangerous, they would torture a werewolf for fun, just because they didn't die like the poor Muggle devils who trudged along. “Nothing.”

“Food maybe? Water? Pants?”

Remus blushed. He had ripped his last ones, and the repair was haphazardly at best. “Why would you give me anything?”

“I've been looking for you, a long time. It must be you.”

“Why?” Remus flinched back, even more wary.

“Because my brother... Lord Black... remembers you. And I need a favour from him.”

The leash was wickedly fast. Remus could not avoid it. But maybe there were worse things than being half caught half rescued by Regulus Black.

[mundrakan]

Fanfic writers are like crows. If you give them treats (comments) they will bring you shiny things (fanfic)

[mundrakan]

Your trauma is valid even if your abuser was respected and adored.

[mundrakan]

I laughed so fucking hard at this

[mundrakan]

Not to throw around with gender roles or whatever but this one assumption about men being so comfortable in their masculinity that they aren't afraid of being soft is so wholesome to me like If that isn't very masculine itself idk

It’s honesty, authenticity, and often good self-esteem. When people are comfortable with themselves, they are more willing to share vulnerability and softness without fear of ridicule.

I always think of Aragorn when I consider the traits of a person whose ‘masculinity’ is never called into question even though he is often very soft and only uses violence as a last resort. Talk about a wholesome guy 🥲

[mundrakan]

[mundrakan]

some of my favorite replies to this tweet. happy lesbian visibility week!

[mundrakan]

💚💜💖