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It’s sad how “crazy & lazy” is like the new normal, like a damn trend and women have lost their dignity and aren’t even embarrassed anymore. You won’t ever catch me wasting my time getting mad and acting out for nobody because I’m not an “ordinary” woman. I’m strong, independent & I completely embrace my confidence. I won’t ever take the blame for when things don’t work out just because a man would rather like to feel depended on but with me they feel intimidated because I’m making my own money & sometimes even making more than him. This generation is all the way messed up, the word “love” has been completely redefined & it’s true definition is now dead & meaningless. I highly doubt that I’m trying this “relationship” thing ever again. 🙄🤷🏻♀️
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“You are what you love not who loves you.”
— Fall Out Boy, Save Rock and Roll (via music-and-quotes)
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It sucks when you wish you could go back to the day you met someone & change everything about it, wish you could say something different, do something differently, keep things to yourself & not give in so easily.
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“Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.”
— Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love (via books-n-quotes)
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“Music carries the weight of being human, takes it away so you don’t have to think at all, you just have to listen. Music tells every story there is.”
— Estelle Laure, This Raging Light
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“And I have been haunted by these things I still have left to say.”
— Seether, Here and Now (via music-and-quotes)
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Questions of hidden desperation.
I hate that you left. You had to let me go, you let me down. You walked away. Now you’re ignoring me, you even made me feel annoying when you threatened to block me. But why didn’t you want to? Why did you tell me you didn’t want to block me? Was I supposed to leave you alone or try harder? Why didn’t I try harder? I was there outside your house, waiting for you. But why did I leave? Why couldn’t I keep waiting for you? Why did you feel like you had to tell me nicely? That you lost interest. Why did you do it like 20 times? That’s what you said in that text. Why did you lead me on? Why did you lose interest? What did I do? What did I keep doing that made you keep trying but kept you losing interest? Forget it. I’m glad you left. I’m happy that it didn’t last longer. I’m grateful that we didn’t make it official, or used the word love, or move in together and get married or have kids. It would’ve been harder that way, we would’ve been bound together. I would’ve hurt, I would’ve cried and I would’ve lost myself. I would take 2 months over 20+ years any day, with the way you made me feel that night. You were perfect for me, why wasn’t i perfect for you?
#Writing #Poetry #Hurt #Embarassment #BeautifulLies #PainfulReality #Confusion #Love #Desperation #Obsession
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The storm I’ve been hoping for.
It’s 2am and my power is out. It’s dark and hot. I decided to settle, I didn’t want the help nor did I expect it. But somehow it’s okay. I’ve been worse than this, so I felt okay. I’m sitting halfway outside the slide door, watching the lightning storm. Hearing the sky boom, the earth moving in the wind. Hearing Mother Nature cry. But it’s okay. Even though I’m in the dark, life gave me light. It made me feel the windy air that has felt everything before me, the cries of the innocent. It spoke for me and for that I felt grateful. It’s pouring now. I could feel the cold shots of the raindrops hit my bare legs, the shivers and tickles flick through my skin. But I wasn’t afraid. It was exactly what I was hoping for, for a long time now. I needed it. It was beautiful, so natural. So painful. So normal. I felt like I wasn’t alone. I finally understood why it was the realest part of this life. The storm that comes before a beautiful day. Everyday couldn’t always be a good day. It had to get bad before it could get better, that’s why i knew I’d be okay.
#Writing #Poetry #Feeling #Pain
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