murderonmars

[murderonmars]

Slow down!

Can my thought please slow down…. I don’t have the capacity to deal with all the thoughts in my head. It’s loud and scary… please just tell me what I have to do to slow them down…

[murderonmars]

My stomach: Can we get food?

Me: We have food at home.

The food at home…

[murderonmars]

Liar liar liar liar liar liar liar I always fuck lie lie lie lie lie lie

[murderonmars]

I feel so confused what the fuck is happening

[murderonmars]

Take me home

[murderonmars]

You’re not measured by how people react to you.

[murderonmars]

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.

[murderonmars]

[murderonmars]

No new job ig got to find a new one

[murderonmars]

Might aswell kill myself

[murderonmars]

I graduated! Perfect timing from my sister with throwing the balloon XD

[murderonmars]

[murderonmars]

[murderonmars]

I'm so scared my ADHD diagnosis is wrong because the people who diagnosed me aren't allowed to diagnose people anymore. I don't trust it anymore. That's also why I am too scared to get an Autism diagnosis or get rediagnosed.

I feel like a fake

[murderonmars]

[murderonmars]

I want to be fine. What even is this

[murderonmars]

Kms