musclemanveryregular - Tumblr blog

[musclemanveryregular]

Muscular mannus from memory

[musclemanveryregular]

‘DON’T TALK TO THE MEDIA ABOUT DIY HRT’

prints available here

[musclemanveryregular]

I accept this. Muscle Man's mom's pronouns are for sure any/all and im going to start referring to him with more than just she/they from now on.

[musclemanveryregular]

[musclemanveryregular]

How is everyone celebrating today

[musclemanveryregular]

you know

being a door and getting opened probably feels so good. almost as good as getting locked

[musclemanveryregular]

you know who else is?

music is literally like if there was music

[musclemanveryregular]

Anypony up for any reindeer games?

[musclemanveryregular]

You know who else is so mad?

Nightcore is good I'm so mad

[musclemanveryregular]

you know who else is nothing like those slobbering imbecile coworkers?

im nothing like those slobbering imbecile coworkers. i like to get stoned, and listen to music

[musclemanveryregular]

you know who else drew this?

drew this

[musclemanveryregular]

you know who else will definitely die before you can possibly repay these loans?

well. i may be forced to take on an obscene amount of debt to be allowed into higher education. but. if you look at it another way. either i or the american empire will definitely die before i can possibly repay these loans, so really, it’s like it’s free

[musclemanveryregular]

You know who else is a river in Egypt?

It's interesting how "De Nile is not just a river in Egypt" has become "Denial is a river in Egypt"

[musclemanveryregular]

Heh you know who else doesnt want me to scream like that anymore? MY MOM

Uhhhhhhhhhh

Hey mordecai check out how hard i can scream:

[musclemanveryregular]

Hey mordecai check out how hard i can scream:

[musclemanveryregular]

Anyway read this please

Mordecai is unphased when Shazzan magics up them some ice cream flavored like his happiest memory but rigby is amazed at how quickly the magical man can do it. Mordecai insists that, "dude, I've already seen that trick a hundred times."

"Yeah, whatever, man. It's just cool! He uses magic, how many other people do you know who can do magic?!"

Behind him in line three other magical characters (Winnie Witch, The Great Gazoo, and Magic Rabbit) all scoff while mordecai and rigby just walk away.

They get back in their golf cart and begin digging for the food. Right as they're about to open their to go bags to grab their ice cream (both in convienent packages to keep back at the House), they get a call from their boss benson over the phone and as mordecai answere it the talking gumball machine man greets them with, "you guys better get back here and clean this awful mess you made in the kitchen or youre both fired," loud enough for them both to hear him off speaker phone, extra emphasis on the word fired.

"Ugh, okay benson we're already on our way, sheesh!!" Rigby says as he holds his ears shut while approaching the phone.

"Good, you better be." A click sound is heard and mordecai also closes his phone.

They buckle in and rigby retorts, "guess we better step on it then.

-

They're speeding down the road with abandon until they come to a stop at the light. There next to them a talking buggy approaches their vehicle, he sputters at them, "Been checking out your ride there slick, how'd you like to make some cash in an underground racing ring?"

"How much cash you talkin?" Rigby asks as Mordecai punches him in the arm.

"Dude you can't be seriously be listening to this car can you?? He said it's underground! As in illegal man, we can't enter that benson would kill us!"

"Ugh fine! Whatever mordecai! I won't enter just don't hit me!!"

They turn down the buggy and he gives him their card with his wheel, telling them to call him.

They race back home and there they report to benson. He yells at them more about how late they are and not to do that again and they get to work after putting their ice cream away in the freezer.

--

Later that night after mordecai and rigby lay down to go to sleep, rigby sneaks off to join the race with the golf cart. He finds himself in a racing ring that is actually underground and appears to be completely legal because even the mayor is there.

And then he finds out it's for charity, with a small prize for the winner. And it really is actually on the books legal.

Rigby, who has just been paid an actual paycheck, up front for entering the race, is now racing in an actual on the books race.

He's taken back at first, with several opponents such as Doggy Daddy and his daughter in a mini van, and jabber jaw and loopy in the company car, this race had some fierce competition.

But the little raccoon knew he could make even more money by winning.

So he raced.

And he won.

And then he found himself there every night. He couldn't stop himself from going.

---

One night a noticeably upset Mordecai greets him outside the door as he's attempting to slink off. Mordecai has found out that rigby is moonlighting as a world famous thrill seeking racer. In Mordecai's bed, to Rigby's curious reveal, is several pillows and a basket ball.

Rigby sighs and reluctantly cuts mordecai in on a deal, that they'll both go 50/50 on the driving and the winnings. They each get to take home $25.50 each night.

Their combined skill invites the curiosity of more and more racers. They find themselves up against titans on the track like the world famous Penelope Pitstop, a fashion mogul who is wearing the latest trend and driving an incredibly high tech fancy car.

The cart manages to hold its own and even take home the gold in the end if by a hair.

But their victory dancing was cut short by thunderous clapping as the sky opens up and out comes the god of racing. A Zeus like glowing figure with a steering wheel for a head in a souped up car that looks like it was built for premeditated vehicular manslaughter. And they challenge mordecai and rigby to a race.

"Play you punchies to determine who gets to race this loser?" Mordecai smirks at Rigby. But rigby turns him down, "no mordecai. Rock paper scissors, you always win at punchies!"

They begin their showdown, "best 2 out of 3?" Mordo says to rigby, as he readies his fist.

Rigby has his hand locked and loaded, "on three." He retorts, the question was retoracle as he planned to win twice.

He throws down rock and beats the scissors in the first round. They stare off for another two seconds then throw again and mordecai hits him with the scissors and the rigbone's paper does nothing to protect. Rigby finds himself staring down mordecai again. This time they both pause as the weight of the situation bears down upon them. Another second goes by and they both throw down and rigby's rock crushes mordecai's scissors into dust.

And as that dust settles.

The race is on.

----

[musclemanveryregular]

You know who else would love Paw Patrol if they worked for the KGB, you fucking tankie?

I bet you'd love Paw Patrol if they worked for the KGB, you fucking tankie

<3