musogato

[musogato]

My website had its 23rd anniversary today. To celebrate, I brought it back from the grave. I mean, technically. It currently only has the front page and the (very necessary) 404 page, but its better than the nothingburger that's been there for the past year when the server it was on died and took everything with it.

Twenty-three years. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure reviving it isn't a mistake. I was 16 when that site went up. I am, very much, no longer 16. I don't blog about myself like I did back then. I don't create like I did back then either. Fansites are very much a thing of the internet past, and just glancing at html/php coding and what updates I would have to make to my old pages in order to safely upload them gives me a headache. There was a reason why most of my sites hadn't been updated in seven years. There was reason why I let it sit, deleted, for most of last of year.

And as much as I am proud of Distant Horizon and all the hard work I put into it, and how my heart is warmed by people who still came to visit it long after it had gathered dust, or used the TCG card image gallery for their current games, it doesn't change that it's all still visible and accessible on the internet archive. Nor that I still, very much, do not ever want to update it with modern atla info ever again.

I'm sorry, I'm old and tired and got other things I want to do.

So why revive it?? why pay for hosting, why go through the trouble of updating the code and uploading everything once again, if I'm not committed to keeping it online? If I don't have any other ideas for what to do with the space? I don't know. Part of me jokingly wants to make a WHA fansite that just. highlights my favorite characters. Make some old-school LJ icons, or little blinky banners. God is that Fanlistings site even still up??

So much has changed. And it feels like everything is unraveling at the seams. But I laughed, seeing my old homepage in that sky-blue color. Seeing that silly Appa art with the gaang barely hanging on on the 404 page. Musogato.com was my home before everything else took over online.

So happy 23, MG. I don't know what your future is, but then, it's not like I know mine, either. 🎂

[musogato]

Happy 20 years, atla

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me, looking at an indie Nintendo Switch game: Oh this looks like a lot of fun and something I would really enjoy....but I still have other games I haven't even started yet, and $20 is kinda......... mmmmaybe I'll wait until it goes on sale, or I finish a project so I can justify getting it.

me, catching sight of Jade's face on the new channel alert in the Nintendo News page: ‼ Jade from Beyond Good & Evil?! What are YOU doing here?? ...!!! They're releasing a remastered edition of Beyond Good & Evil for the 20th anniversary??? Holy shit!!! And it's only $20?? *buys it immediately*

(something something priorities and the fear of trying new things)

I can't believe this just dropped without any warning at all. (and that, after all these years, there's still no sequel? damn and I thought the wait for Metroid Prime 4 was rough) Anyway, to celebrate the game I was obsessed with back then, here's fanart I drew of Jade 19 years ago. :x

(with emo black wings, looool. Oh early/mid 2000s...)

Anyway this game is such a treasure, I can't wait to revisit it. Is Ancel still working on that insanely ambitious sequel? Have video game graphics reached whatever ideal he was seeking? (and can it then be blasphemously crunched down so I can play it on a Nintendo system?) Ah, maybe in another twenty years it'll finally be released.

[musogato]

Got another Orufrey fic!

Crumbs

"Amidst their secret night-time cooking, Qifrey and Olruggio’s hands find something new to touch."

(featuring alternate endings!)

Rated T, 4.3k words. This is more of a yearning Kitchen fic, but with an undercurrent of Chapter 40 angst!

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New Orufrey fic!

"Atwert's Gift (and our solace in lies)"

While at the Great Hall, Olruggio learns of Atwert's new spell: one to restore memories erased by magic. But in the time it takes to bring that spell home to Qifrey, something strange happens... and Olruggio is left staring at his oldest, dearest friend, knowing

e x a c t l y

what

he did.

Rated T, 6.5k words, spoilers for ch 40 and ch 57

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Been working on some new fandom fics, and looking at/editing some years-old Daevabad stories that were nearly finished, and it's remarkable to me what themes I keep being drawn towards. Like deep trust and the betrayal of it, or emotional roller-coasters where characters talk on end to work through whatever happened, or stories of love so genuine that it emotionally wrecks me and fuck up my sinuses. Like!

I understand why, with Daevabad and how things ended and what aspects were left unfinished or unsaid between the characters I cared about. I get why that drove me to write dozens of fics and post 72k words so far with easily another 50k to go.

But it's..... I want to say deranged, lmao, how I unintentionally latched onto those same aspects in a completely different series. Like I'm looking at my emotionally overwhelming orufrey fics and I'm looking at my emotionally overwhelming nahli fics it's a venn diagram.

Anyway.... I'm wrapping things up, I'm hoping to be posting a lot soon.

Website-wise, I know it's down. There were. Server issues. (the server died) I'm looking for a new webhost, and will re-upload things after that. Until then everything is still viewable through the internet archive.

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I know it's unbelievable, but I've actually posted a fic! I'm hoping to polish/post all of my old wips, and I've finished the oldest one, from March 2020. (I keep mentioning this so you'll understand that my other fics are better 😅)

Taking place during Kingdom of Copper, Nahri and Ali explore a mysterious ruin with invisibility shenanigans, and have some romantic pining/drama/confessions along the way.

Daevabad Trilogy, Nahri/Ali, 5k words, Rated G, COB/mid-KOC spoilers.

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It's been nearly a year, but I finally finished chapter 2 for my fic "And the past will lap at our shores in waves." ✨

Last time, Nahri learned the truth about her hospital and what the Nahids did to the Am Gezira shafit as it became Very Relevant again. This chapter sees the characters processing that news, as well as setting up some plot-related actions for future chapters that I may or may not ever write. 😅

This is 6.4k words of quiet, tense angst, with a sliver of romantic Nahli fluff/being supportive partners at the end because who am I without it.

Rated T, Nahri/Ali, spoilers for The Daevabad Trilogy and some mild ones for The River of Silver.

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Mishmish & Sobek Notepad

This is a notepad design I made for The Tsundoku Chronicles' River of Silver Bookish Box that's currently on sale!

I'm really happy with how it turned out. 💖

If you would like a notepad, check out TheTsundokuChronicles on Etsy, and if you want Mishmish on a sticker or something, look me up on Redbubble! 💖🦁

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Jade's 2021 in Review 🎆

This year I....

I worked on 12 drawings and finished 2:

Nahli Rainbow

Sobek and his Hatchling (au)

I worked on 26 fics and posted 10:

The List

Call Me Friend (but keep me closer) (chapters 1-4)

Ending the Cycle

Want a Quickie

Non-Perilous Activities (chapter 2)

A bird may love a fish Signore but where will they live

And the past will lap at our shores in waves

I also did a bunch of updates for the Daevapedia Wiki, including making a new layout, doing the author-annotated EoG and CoB pages, Book Editions, Merchandise, and worldbuilding/Q&A pages, among some other things.

I also...

Posted 9 bookstagram photos, which I am counting as an accomplishment because prepping these photos was hard. 🥺 (Instagram link)

Read/listened to 74 books and finished 56. 🎉📚 My favorite books/series of these were: The Outlaw Road duology (Sunshield, Floodpath), Gideon the Ninth, Percy Jackson: Heroes of Olympus, Trials of Apollo, Romeo and/or Juliet, A Forgery of Magic (Nocturna/Oculta), and The Magic Fish.

Watched 16 movies/tv shows; my favorites being Schitt's Creek, Move to Heaven, and Knives Out.

And played 18 games; favorites being Metroid Dread, Gris, and Animal Crossing New Horizons. I also started Duolingo, and was a top 1% language learner, but I think that says more about their participation statistics than my XP score.

Finally, I also made a Redbubble Shop account and it actually sold some items, omg. (the most popular being the Pokémon stickers, and mugs)

Here's to 2022 and hopefully being able to getting more things done. And good health and etc. ☀️

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"And the past will lap at our shores in waves"

Early into his marriage with Nahri, Ali is haunted by fears of what happened to his namesake's first family. Fears made worse when Zaydi al Qahtani's poisoned scabbard is found and returned to Daevabad in a misguided tribute, forcing Ali to reveal the last of the truths he kept from Nahri regarding her beloved hospital and its horrid past.

Daevabad Trilogy, Nahri/Ali, rated T, 5.4k words. KoC and EoG spoilers.

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A bird may love a fish, Signore, but where will they live?

Five short scenes where Nahri and Ali learn to live between swimming and soaring. (and where the whole thing is an allegory for their relationship and how they approach it together)

Scenes 1-2 are rated G (pining/innuendo); 3-4 are rated T (suggestive, ust); and 5 is M (oh my)

Nahri/Ali, rated M, 4.6k words, post-EoG.

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Sobek and his hatchling

Thinking about an au where instead of being sent to the Citadel, baby Ali was taken by the marid.

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So glad this is finally done, but here it is, eleven months late-- Chapter 2 for Non-Perilous Activities. 🎉👏

In this chapter, Nahri and Ali take a class on making flower arrangements and baking bread, and are general disasters about it while being cute and flirty. (this sucker was a pain to write, so I overindulged in the cuteness.)

The Daevabad Trilogy, Nahri/Ali, rated G, 4.4k words, post-EoG.

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Now that I've learned how to do the read more cut on mobile, I am very excited to finally share my thoughts on Ali and some Some Very Significant Water Things that he deals with in The Empire of Gold.

Specifically his thoughts on it, and how he views it affecting his relationships with others. And particularly how it all leads up to that bright smile of his at the end.

So needless to say, this has major spoilers for the final Daevabad book.

Image credit to: cultof-aphrodite (this image represents all of my tears)

So I’ve been thinking about Ali's marid connection-- his relationship to it as well as how other people feel about it-- and how that affects him as seen in EoG.

One part of his overall story arc is how he feels conflicted about the marid. He grew up in a society that treated them as monsters that haven't been seen in generations. That cursed the lake surrounding his city and tore up any djinn that fell into that lake, to the point that it was used by his government as a capital punishment. The gossip that ancient Ayaanle worshipped the marid and made blood sacrifices for wealth or power clashed with his Muslim faith, and fed into racist slurs thrown at the Ayaanle. Throughout the trilogy there are characters that call Ali "crocodile," a slur which clearly hurts him.

And then things get really complicated. At the end of CoB, Ali fell into the lake and was tortured by the lake marid. Ultimately possessing him in order to kill Dara, this had the side-effect of awakening Ali's unknown marid heritage.

And while in CoB Ali is horrified by his new water powers and ability to sense it, in KoC he recognizes that it's the reason he survived his trek through Am Gezira's desert. More so, he grows to genuinely enjoy it. Whether he's swimming, or bringing forth new springs to help barren villages; delighting in the mists that form around him, or seeing/traveling the currents... He likes his connection to water and the peace it brings him, even as he's terrified that he'll get caught and punished for it. Especially since in Daevabad his powers grow stronger and the people are less forgiving than in his village.

So his fear and concern doesn’t come from the water, but other people's responses to it. Which has me reconsidering all of the small glimpses we see of people responding to his marid-ness in EoG. Especially since this book series makes it clear that each pov character shows some kind of personal bias in their perception of things.

So like in ch. 12 where he's telling Nahri about his water abilities, and how he feels fortunate that she's thoughtful about it rather than repulsed or afraid. 

Or in ch. 43 when he and Fiza are on the boat after they rise through Daevabad's lake, and he asks God to bless her for treating him with her normal level of rudeness. When she first sees him changed she absolutely freaks out, as is her reaction to all things strange. But she quickly adapts to it and proves herself to still be his ally as she travels the world with him and helps convince the various djinn communities that he is still one of them as they recruit for their army. Invaluable, as most of the djinn he meets are terrified of him or call him a "marid abomination." I should also mention that by this point Ali is forced to speak softly so as to not further alarm them as his crocodile eyes and mist encircling him is intimidating enough.

Even during the battle for Daevabad when Ali pulls himself aboard one of the ships, he's encouraged that his own Ayaanle soldiers don't immediately attack him.

His siblings meanwhile kind of dance around his physical changes. But they’ve also known Ali the longest, and I feel like that shows with their interaction in ch. 47. Zaynab delicately asking if the marid will ever free him or return his fire magic. She treats him kindly, but makes it clear she wants nothing to do with this marid heritage she shares with him. Muntadhir meanwhile playfully ribs him, and lists Ali's marid traits as how they would help him in reforming the government. Though the f-bomb is cut from the final copy, I feel it's a bit revealing that in the e-arc Dhiru describes Ali's eyes as "fucking terrifying." (actually a lot of f-bombs were cut from the final copy. Sad times; EoG absolutely earned every usage.)

That same chapter shows Ali reflecting on his sacrifice to the marid and how he personally feels at peace with it. That acknowledging his watery heritage has settled a certain part of himself. But he also reflects on how people will treat him differently now because they're scared and appalled. About how he expects that one day when his status as a hero loses its shine, that their treatment of him will get worse and that there will be days that cut and feel unbearable. That no matter what, he will always be an outsider. Though he says he still doesn’t regret it, I feel like this is both premature and plays into his scenes with Nahri in ch. 48.

For one, we learn that Ali hasn't even seen Nahri since she woke up in the hospital. That after telling her that he's an ambassador for the marid and that’s why his appearance has changed, he avoids her for a whole week. Zaynab tells him to give her space because "he can be smothering," but I can't help but wonder if that space is in part to let Nahri adjust to his new looks without him being around her. 

When he finally does see Nahri in the palace in ch. 48, he hangs back, nervous. Even after their embrace and catching up, when he learns that she's leaving the palace, he starts rambling about how he has no expectations for her or for them as a couple.

Which when combined with the above points… really makes me think that Ali was concerned that Nahri wouldn't be interested in him anymore because of his marid looks and heritage. 😢 That despite everything they went through together and their mutual feelings expressed in Shefala, his changes put her beyond him again. Or alternatively, that what happened was just some madness of the moment and held no weight in their new world. And so he tried to distance himself first. 💔💔💔

Which maybe explains why Nahri's vulnerable request to keep spending time with him in a normal setting, and that she wasn't going to let him out of her debt, led him to having "the brightest, happiest smile she's ever seen from him." Because it’s not just confirmation that she still wants a relationship with him, whether it be platonic or romantic, but that she accepts his new marid reality, too. 😢💖

And while Ali’s personal relationships are safe, he does have to change his behavior for others. Where the Ali from CoB and KoC would lose his patience or give rousing speeches to inspire others and tear down corruption, now he has to speak softly so he doesn’t frighten others. Even when leading his own people into battle on the lake, he worried if his surprise appearance would cause them to attack him. When he snaps in the hospital room after he learns Dara shot Nahri, the whole room’s temperature dropped into a cold chill. Ali learning to hold his tongue and speak carefully is no longer just to improve his diplomacy skills, but is now critical to continue being welcomed in the larger djinn community.

And honestly, I don't have the vocabulary to describe how I feel about Ali's and the Ayaanle's experience of being called crocodile as a slur now having a foundation in Ali's family line being related to Sobek. Or how Ali's marid abilities are tied to his torture by them, whether it be the lake marid or Tiamat. I don't like that it's all rooted in pain. And I don't like that in every sense of Ali's identity, he is the outlier because he belongs to another group.

But this whole series is about complications and gray nuance. There are going to be Post-EoG stories in The River of Silver anthology which will include a story on our new river lord. So hopefully we'll be able to see how Ali is adjusting to his new life as openly-marid, and how he's fitting in. I hope the reality isn't as gloomy as Ali perceived it to be.

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Another week, another fic!

Inspired by the Incorrect Daevabad quote, I wrote a fic last year and have finally posted it.

Ali brings a tray of quiches to the hospital but can't quite figure out why everyone's laughing. Good thing he has Nahri.

Nahri & Ali, rated T, 2.4k words, post-EoG.

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What is going on with your website, Distant Horizon? I see it hasn't been updated in a few years. I found it recently and was really intrigued by it. Do you think you will ever start updating it again? Maybe because of new avatar content from Avatar Studios? If not id still like to know more about it and what happened/ how you made it. :)

Hi there! Yeah, My old beloved fansite Distant Horizon is more-or-less on permanent hiatus. (Although now that I'm looking at it, I realize I didn't announce that anywhere?? Oops.)

But yeah! I had a lot of fun working on the various pages, especially the easter egg/omg dude! page, the annual pumpkin carving contest, all the character sprites, and the seasonal layouts. Especially when the show was originally airing and there was so much fun energy in the fandom. But it eventually became too much work for me and my interest in ATLA and website maintenance in general just declined over the years. (I know I should update it with the Avatar Studios news but... I don't want to 😭)

I do still love atla though and I'm curious to see what Netflix and Avatar Studios will be doing with the series. But I'm also observing from a distance. I'm not sure if I'll ever update my site again, but we'll see. It feels kind of unnecessary with the other fast-updating atla news sites and the very comprehensive fandom wiki. And tbh just the thought of doing website stuff is exhausting to me. I'm out of the game and aren't interested in getting back in.

But when ATLA first aired in 2005, I loved that first two-part episode so much that I made my fansite in one week. Back then it was just the layout and pages with character bios and lists of the creatures and items and whatever official info and art I could find from promo sites and Nick.com. God I used to take screenshots of the show by pausing my vcr and taking a photo of the tv. 😂 But it was a lot of fun seeing the Avatar world expand with every new episode and rushing to add that new info to the site. And DH continued to expand with the forum, the wallpapers and fanart that fans sent in, the tcg scans and calligraphy translations, all the other info pages, and info/official art from the international Nickelodeon sites. Fandom was really collaborative and even though the shipwars were terrible, everything else was really nice.

There were a lot of other atla fansites too, small and big, and that community was probably my favorite aspect of the fandom. So many people set up their own sites and dedicated it to the latest atla news or their favorite characters, or their fanart, layout graphics or sprite adoptables, or snarky takes on badly written fanfics, and etc. A lot of it is completely gone now, which is... really sad to me, and is why I still keep Distant Horizon up even though I'm pretty much done with it. I don't like seeing fandom stuff disappear as if it never existed.

Anyway this got really long, sorry! 😅 But to answer your last question, I was just a nerd who learned how to code html on Neopets, loved it, and wanted to make a website for my own art and stuff. If I didn't know how to do something, like make a mysql database to make my wallpapers & tcg gallery searchable by characters, I looked it up and learned how to code it. (I make that sound easy but know it involved a lot tears.) I made a couple of fansites before DH, so by then I knew what I was doing and what kind of site I wanted to make. Although that still didn't prepare me for just how big it got. At one point my webhost had to contact me because of how much traffic the site was getting, and they couldn't understand why so many people were visiting if there wasn't pirated content or p*rn involved 😂

But experienced or not, if there's something you want to do, then do it. It may be difficult and involve a lot of crying or complaining, but if it's something you want, keep going for it. 👍