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“Mel can’t not feel abandoned. And so I think having the one person— the one person, who feels like an adult who can take care of her, being gone…and coming back felt gr— and also, he didn’t ignore her, he came right over.”

(x)

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Deleted scene from EMMA. (2020)

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yes it goes both ways

your vaguely awkward and socially inept vibe has captivated me

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incredible stuff happening on chaturbate

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what do you mean that mel and langdon are kindred spirits who choose each other and he softens for her and she reveals hidden depths to his character and she helps him be vulnerable and realize being not okay is okay and he helps her build confidence in herself and gives her structure and routine so she attaches herself to him bc he needs to be needed and she helps him slow down and he grounds her and all of this happens within fifteen hours of knowing each other

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I've always loved the way they loved.

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something that might be an unpopular opinion is that i honestly don’t wanna know what abby and frank’s marriage is like. i think the speculative nature of it, and the fact that we only get to know about abby through other people (frank, dana, i don’t think anyone else mentions her), makes the relationship so much more interesting. i love having to put faith in a character to be telling the truth or having to figure out where exactly they’re lying.

with frank’s addiction, for example, we don’t know what actually happened. do we trust what he says? or do we assume he’s making shit up? i want parts of every character’s lives to remain a mystery. am i so curious as to why dana didn’t want her husband to be called when she got punched? yes. do i wanna actually know? not at all.

i love the suspension. i love not knowing. i love being endlessly curious and speculative about these characters

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White Americans ... are terrified of sensuality and do not any longer understand it. The word “sensual” is not intended to bring to mind quivering dusky maidens or priapic black studs. I am referring to something much simpler and much less fanciful. To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the breaking of bread. ... Something very sinister happens to the people of a country when they begin to distrust their own reactions as deeply as they do here, and become as joyless as they have become. It is this individual uncertainty on the part of white American men and women, this inability to renew themselves at the fountain of their own lives, that makes the discussion, let alone elucidation, of any conundrum—that is, any reality—so supremely difficult. The person who distrusts himself has no touchstone for reality—for this touchstone can be only oneself. Such a person interposes between himself and reality nothing less than a labyrinth of attitudes. And these attitudes, furthermore, though the person is usually unaware of it (is unaware of so much!), are historical and public attitudes. They do not relate to the present any more than they relate to the person.

--James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time, 1963

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it’s actually so funny how challenging it is to write bona fide graphic, horny smut. like people don’t give smut writers enough credit. you are constantly running out of words to describe the same 2-4 body parts and same 4-6 motions. you are constantly attempting to do interesting and dynamic things in the prose with this extremely limited set of words. you are looking at your prose for the nastier bits and wondering if it actually sounds hot or if it just sounds goofy. you are then toning down your prose and then wondering if it now sounds tasteful or if it’s just boring. you do ctrl+F for the word “cock” and there are 37 instances of it in the doc but you hate the 1-2 acceptable synonyms so there’s nothing much you can do about it

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we really have to hand it to bruises for being easy to acquire, fun to touch, usually relatively harmless, and capable of turning a variety of pretty colours as they cycle through the stages of their life cycle from birth to death. they do so much for us. and even more if you're a bit of a pervert about it.

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hey meg! do you have any thoughts on what roles frank/mel/anyone in the pitt would have in a star trek au? when i’ve tried to think about nuanced species ideas and relevant backstory events i keep getting off track imagining a bridge crew of 100% doctors and laughing

i'm not gonna go for the obvious here of robby as the captain, abbott chief engineer, langdon grumpy doctor, etc. for one i think langdon is too ambitious to just stick with medical track forever and two to your point if they're all still medical personnel then they'd probably know each other from shared missions and the academy and all but they wouldn't all be on the same crew. so here's my proposal:

langdon as a disgraced captain, prosecuted by starfleet for using his vessel to smuggle drugs (it was to finance a rebellion that starfleet had ordered him not to interfere with but he wanted to anyway. let's give him a touch of kirk and b'elanna torres all at once)

robby's his deeply disappointed admiral who grounded himself after the battle of kelvin because he has panic attacks

collins is the dean of starfleet academy

abbott is captain of a 5 year mission who wants langdon on as his first officer because they're going into the territory of space where that rebellion took place, and langdon is maybe the one starfleet officer that the (newly subjugated) rebels will trust, since the admiralty abandoned them

mel is abbott's star trainee, science officer trained in medical who has a psychic (half-betazoid) sister who accompanies her on every mission, no exceptions

trinity's the pissed off security officer that's on her last probation stint after getting reprimanded multiple times for using too much force

mohan's chief medical officer trying desperately to live up to the shadow of her dead father, legendary starfleet war hero who led like, six five year missions and (c̶o̶l̶o̶n̶i̶z̶e̶d̶) recruited like fifty planets or something

whitaker's this skinny science genius from nebraska who invented something essential to the mission and abbott convinces him to come against his better judgment

shen's the pilot, ellis is chief science officer, walsh is the engineer who hates everybody but especially her captain (except if someone else shittalks him she'll banish them to latrine duty or whatever)

mission is to bring peace in a volatile quadrant of space, ravaged by civil war with rising tensions on both sides. langdon's extremely bitter about how things went down and losing his captaincy and spending like 6 months in a penal colony or whatever. he's restricted in what he can do and he hates it so he's not performing at his best. he's resentful of starfleet - and especially robby, who turned him in - and he's not particularly inclined to do the job the right way, so he's reckless. abbott knows he was done dirty, and wants to make it right, and he knows langdon's capable of more, and so he's got this little crew of misfits put together because he knows that sometimes the right people for the job look terrible on paper.

what about javadi, you ask? well she's the daughter of the leader of the rebels that langdon tried to help (dr shamsi, diplomat and doctor and political dissident). she's the one cool head on this planet and she's got a super big crush on mohan's second in command

aaaaand go

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i bring a sort of "it doesnt matter if youre into porn or not, getting elitist and mad at people for being horny aligns you with the agenda of the alt right" vibe to the conversation that some ppl dont like

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ties by stilljustgrey

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Reinhold Begas, 1831-1911

Pan comforting Psyche, ca.1857/8/, marble

Alte Nationalgalerie, Berlin, Germany

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i'm becoming increasingly garcia (+ garsantos) pilled. mostly because of this fic and the part about garcia and frank sharing nudes just really got me thinking

langdon and garcia as two freaks in a pod... when garcia first sleeps with santos she sends frank a pic of santos' naked back as she's passed out on garcia's bed. no caption. frank just responds with a middle finger emoji. cut to a few weeks later he's sending a pic of mel's thighs covered in bite marks and garcia sends an eyeroll emoji.

this continues for a while. santos and mel know it's happening and send each other pictures sometimes (langdon and garcia aren't the only competitive bitches in their relationships).

mel sends a picture to santos one afternoon of herself wearing a pretty bra in a dressing room, asking "do you think frank would like this? i don't usually wear pretty bras but i know you have some!! would love advice :D"

santos can't even stop herself from asking "want me to ask yoyo? bet she'd have some great input" and mel just likes the message. so now garcia and santos are laying in bed staring at mel's tits in multiple bras. garcia gets the bright idea to snap a pic of the whole thing to send to langdon (later that night he sends back a pic of mel's ass peeking out from her shorts, bright red from his hands. he's not really mad (for some reason he doesn't want to investigate he kind of liked it) but it's about the principle of the thing).

it just sort of evolves from there. the pictures getting more and more explicit. they're in the world's most sexually charged pissing contest. santos and mel send each other more too, asking for tips on new positions, what to wear on a date, or arguing on who has the best sex.

then one day mel and santos realize they've never actually been on a double date and maybe they can play this sharing game outside of just pictures.

so there they are at a nice restaurant, garcia and frank sit in one booth with santos and mel in the other. they're all joking with each other, talking about things other than work, playing footsie under the table, it's going really well! and then santos kisses mel on the cheek after mel makes a great joke. it's not like she hasn't done that before, mel and santos give each other cheek kisses all the time when they're drunk, but never when langdon and garcia are around. mel giggles and playfully shoves santos away before going in for her own cheek kiss (wine makes her really lovey, okay?).

across the table poor langdon and garcia are experiencing every emotion possible. it's hot as fuck, but they're possessive lovers. somehow they connect telepathically and call for the bill.

as garcia is signing the receipt she says, "wanna continue this at mine? i have a bottle of red we can share." mel and santos squeeze each other's hands under the table when frank answers with "we'll meet you there."

on garcia's couch, langdon sits on one end with mel leaning on his chest while garcia sits on the other with santos in her lap. they're still talking, but occasionally langdon will move mel's hair so he can kiss her neck, garcia petting santos' inner thigh. there's a lull when langdon and garcia catch their girls watching each other.

"mel, wanna share what's got your attention?" garcia asks, softly, like she's coaxing a small animal.

mel giggles and turns her head into langdon's neck, mumbling her answer. langdon nudges her to look at the couple in front of them, "speak up, honey. don't start acting shy."

"i- um- i said that i think trinity and garcia look really pretty. they look pretty together." she's smiling but it's hesitant, like she said something wrong.

santos and garcia smirk at the same time (it's a little scary how in sync they can be when it comes to being cocky).

santos melts against garcia as she replies, "i think you look pretty too, melly. langdon doesn't deserve such a sweetheart." at that, langdon tightens his hold on mel's waist while garcia laughs at him (her own hold on santos' thigh tightens too).

"don't get your panties in a twist, frank. she's all yours, but you can't expect trinity and i to not stare when you show her off like that."

"oh that's rich coming from you. if i remember correctly, you're the one who started this whole show and tell."

"i'm not the one who continued it."

so these double dates keep happening, pictures (and eventually videos) keep being sent, and it's only natural that they end up fucking in front of each other. competitive ass bitches... the whole lot of them

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texts from last night ft. the pitt

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