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[mviatorem]

Today was heavy.

I found myself questioning everything—even myself. And honestly, I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling like I’m constantly walking on a tightrope, trying to maintain balance, trying to say the right things, do the right things, be the right version of me—just to avoid being questioned or misunderstood. It’s exhausting.

I feel like I’m starting to lose grip on the certainty I used to have about us… about me… about how love is supposed to feel. Love, to me, should feel like home—safe, assuring, light. But lately, it feels more like I’m tiptoeing in a place where one wrong step might shatter everything. And that scares me. Because I don’t want to live in fear in the one place I thought I could rest.

I’m not giving up… but I’m not going to keep bending until I break either. Right now, I’m in a space where I just want to say, come what may. I don’t want to overthink anymore. I don’t want to keep second-guessing my worth, or whether I’m enough for you, or whether I’m too much. I just want to be me. And I want to be loved for that. Simply. Surely. Comfortably.

Because that’s the kind of love I long for—the one that doesn’t make me feel like I’m being tested, or like I have to prove myself. The one where I can breathe and just be.

If I ever fall short, I hope I’m still seen with grace. And if there are things I need to know, I hope they’re shared with love and not doubt. Because I don’t want to keep being scared. I want to feel safe—especially with you.

I don’t need perfection. I just need peace. And I’m holding on to the hope that we can still find that together.

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“Why am I so afraid to lose you, when you aren’t even mine.”

— Unknown

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“if big changes are coming, you got this. you’re strong enough”

— Unknown

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summer rain 🍃✨

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“The funny thing about stop signs is that they’re also start signs.”

— Unknown

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“Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care.”

— Unknown

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“you will never be too much for someone who can’t get enough of you”

— Unknown

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“I want you to tell me, you can’t stop thinking about me…”

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souls>>>faces

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“If you have something worth fighting for, continue fighting for it.”

— Unknown

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Dearest Babi,

There are moments when I look at you — really look at you — and I feel overwhelmed with love and admiration. Not just because of what you do, but because of who you are.

You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders with so much quiet strength. You step in whenever your family needs you, often without them even asking, because your heart just doesn’t know how to sit still when you see the people you love in pain. You have this unshakable provider mindset — like it’s your mission to make sure everyone’s okay, even if it means putting your own needs last. And you do it not for praise, but simply because it’s who you are. The eldest. The protector. The soft-spoken anchor.

That selflessness… it moves me. You give and give, even when you have little left for yourself. That’s the part that both amazes me and makes me ache for you. Because sometimes I think people forget — or maybe they never realize — how fragile it can be to have a heart as kind and big as yours. You’re a giant in so many ways, but deep inside, you’re also my gentle giant… my big baby.

In a world where you put everyone else first, I want to be the one who puts you first.

I want to be your safe space. I want to be the place where you don’t have to be strong all the time. Where you can rest, breathe, and just be… loved. Without having to earn it. Without having to prove anything.

I’m so proud of you — not just for what you do, but for the man you are. At 27, you've already accomplished more than many do in a lifetime. You’ve invested, planned, worked your heart out, and dreamed beyond the now. Your mind impresses me. Your maturity humbles me. And your work ethic? Don’t even get me started. You give your best in everything — not because you want something in return, but because doing your best is just part of your nature.

You’re an amazing son, a loving brother, a dependable partner, and truly the kindest soul I’ve ever known. You love deeply, and you give sweetly — even when no one’s looking.

I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you, but I thank the universe for bringing us together. Because watching you grow, carry, love, lead, and build your future… makes me fall in love with you over and over again.

I’m so proud of you, babi. And I always will be.

With all my heart, M <3

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Pain changes you. It carves through your soul like a storm, leaving behind pieces of who you once were. And for a while, you might feel broken — defined by everything that hurt, everything that went wrong, everything that didn’t last.

But here’s a quiet, radiant truth: Sometimes, the people with the darkest pasts go on to build the brightest futures.

Why? Because they know what it means to fall — and rise. Because they've walked through fire, and learned how to carry light. Because they've seen the shadows, and still choose to seek the sun.

There’s something unshakable about a person who’s had to rebuild themselves. Their strength isn’t loud or showy — it’s quiet and grounded. It’s in their eyes, in their laughter, in the way they hold space for others with so much grace. It's in how they cherish peace because they remember what chaos feels like.

These are the people who turn pain into purpose. Who turn wounds into wisdom. Who create soft, beautiful futures not in spite of their past — but because of it.

So if your past is heavy — if you’ve been hurt, doubted, abandoned, or scarred — let this sink in: you are not damaged. You are reborn. And you are more equipped than most to build something breathtaking out of the rubble.

Your past may have shaped you, but it does not get to define you. Your story is still being written — and you hold the pen now. So let the next chapter be a masterpiece. One filled with purpose, peace, and the kind of joy that rises from the ashes.

Because what comes next for you? It’s going to be beautiful. The best futures are often built by those who never thought they deserved one.

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