mxguy-blog

[mxguy-blog]

I will never ever understand why you did everything you have done. You broke every single promise you ever made to me, you made me look and feel like a fool who was played like a fiddle and you have broken me in ways I never thought possible. I gave you everything, every bit of me and what I had to offer and it was still not good enough. I gave up my morals, and better judgment to have the one thing I wanted more then anything in this life. Now I don't know if I ever want that again. Any part of it. If I could just jump without any consequences and without hurting the handful of people who care about me then I would. But sadly that is not an option and on top of that I won't give him the satisfaction of feeling like he beat me. Nothing you could ever say will take all this back or make me forget about it. A part of me is praying that your going to come back when you realize how stupid this decision you have made is. But this is the 3rd time now and idk of I can do it again. You have given every major fear I have ever had more fuel and created new ones. You tied me up, cut my throat, and tried to cut out my heart yet you didn't do enough to kill me. Hopefully I can just go back to not feeling anything at all again soon. But all I know is I wish you had put down the knife, picked up the gun, put it to my head and pulled the trigger. I can't leave this world untill my illness finally takes me, however I already feel dead

[mxguy-blog]

What are the odds that T even has that video still?

[mxguy-blog]

I really want that video I shot a long time ago back

[mxguy-blog]

Okay.... now it is time to be done with this again and come back to reality. You have never turned back, or questioned your decision so why should I? Maybe one day u'll reach out again, if this world starts to change. But if not I hope you got better. As long as you got yourself some help then it was all worth it on my end..... regardless of what happened to me

[mxguy-blog]

“You can never “Just be friends” with someone you fell in love with.”

— @thesexualquotes (via thesexualquotes)

[mxguy-blog]

I had that dream again. Leaving that hospital room, getting into the elevator and instantly wishing you would open the doors and step off, right before it plummeted to the ground. I have let go of everything else except for that one day. I understand I am not good enough. I am not what you wanted or would ever want, but at the time I guess I couldn't see that. When I woke up that morning, I thought it was going to be one of the happiest days of my life. But none of it was ment to be that way. I don't think I'll ever forget waiting to see you for the first time in a long time. The butterflies were almost instantly replaced by this feeling of being loathed. Then the conversation in the hospital room took the knife from my back and put it in my heart. Then twisted it before pulling it back out and stabbing me again and again. It is what it is I guess. I don't regret the passed, just not taking action at some times that I probably should have. No hate, no nothing but sadness and thoughts of what could have been. That was then and this is now. Guess I wouldn't change a thing since it got me to where I am now. Maybe a different world, in a different life, if I was someone else. The person who I am is not what you want or need. It took me a long time but I have figured out maybe this is best, regardless of other feelings

[mxguy-blog]

I wish I was actually missed. I will never wish bad things on anyone I cared that much about, but I won't lie that it would be nice to know. Maybe if I got the closure I wanted ot wouldn't be a problem but it wasn't in my control. My time was up and I wasn't needed anymore. That was then and this is now. Decisions have been made and I have nothing to complain about what so ever

[mxguy-blog]

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[mxguy-blog]

[mxguy-blog]

[mxguy-blog]

The saddest part in your life will be when you start regretting that one person whom you thought was the one.

thoughtsincosmos (via shareaquote)

[mxguy-blog]

[mxguy-blog]

I think the hardest part about falling in love is that you no longer have control over your own emotions. one word, one look could change your entire day, whether it be good or bad. someone has the ability to get inside your head, learn everything about you but it’s never guaranteed that they’re going to stick around. but i think the worst part is that you don’t even have control over falling in love. it just happens, even if you don’t want it to. it’ll either break your heart or make you feel alive, but the most awful truth of it all is that we all die at some point, with or without them.

pointless-thinking (via wnq-writers)

[mxguy-blog]

My heart misses you so much sometimes I don’t know what to do with my hands because I’m so used to the feeling of you holding them. Sometimes I hear your voice in my head when you’re busy throughout your day reminding me to stay positive because what’s better than a beautiful face is a beautiful mind. I catch myself saying the things you say because I love the sound of your voice and though you’re not here talking out loud with me it reminds me that I’ve heard you speak. I laugh when people look at the sky and tell me how beautiful it is outside because your eyes will always be the most perfect shade of blue. And I guess what I’m getting at is that even when you aren’t here and you’re there and we are waiting for here and there to meet again, I’m thinking of you always.

lightspirituniverse (via wnq-writers)

[mxguy-blog]

I may no longer have any feelings for you but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about you. You were the closest thing I had to happiness

Your secrets are safe here (via thesecretletter)

[mxguy-blog]

They say people in your life come and go,
yet I didn’t know that that would apply to you.

(via apikaliaa)

[mxguy-blog]

I would do anything give anything or accept anything just to have her here tonight asap