mxnark - Tumblr blog

[mxnark]

🍊’s last note!

hello! i’ve decided to follow suit with some of the other muns here and use this post to gather all of my thoughts and also what will happen to my muses in the rkfuture!!!!

a lot of the ooc information that i’ll be talking about here is mostly smth that can be read more in-depth HERE (tw: death, suicide ment, anxiety). i feel like that specific post says all i needed to say about my personal experience with rk and how it impacted me so much for the better. it quite literally saved my life and made me avoid making a decision that could’ve impacted my life forever. of course, i as well as many people are aware that this rp isn’t perfect. but it’s been a big part of my life with the one continuous year that i’ve been on it. 

after my one year anniversary with mina, i had hoped to be able to see how far she would come in the future as well as for the rest of my muses. but, like the admod team and also some of us other muns in the rp, my life became busier than i thought it would be and i wasn’t able to be on my muses as much. whenever i was on mina, i’d just do the requirements that’d get her to be able to debut (bc if i do the bare minimum, she’d never forgive me haha). i’m so glad that i have been able to stay as long as i did, especially with how i’ve struggled to have done that in the past. and i’m so glad i got to have shared at least some memories with you guys while in this rp. i may not have been here since the beginning, but i’m honored to have been here ‘til the end. 

i am so thankful that this rp gave me motivation to write again, as well as giving me motivation to keep on moving forward just to see how far my muse would come. of course, though this is the end of rookies, it will not be the end of me! i will still be on twitter and discord, as well as any other rps you might spot me at. and i hope that this will not be the last time i get to talk to all of you!!

NOW!! the stuff you want to know about. 

@rkarin​’s fate!

my baby angel who i wish i could’ve done more for... i love her so much.

the timid girl will slowly learn how to grow out of her shell and become more social!! she will of course still be shy, but she gets better and better every single day!!

amidst that growth, she will also get the courage to confess her feelings to @yccjungrk​! and while yoojung’s future is tbd by ark, just know that arin will be apart of it!!! BC SHE IS IN L*VE W HER CHILDHOOD FRIEND

with the intention of making her a character with a (what if) future, i think it’s safe to say that she’ll follow through with what she had planned to do originally!!! yewon will continue studying in university until she gets her degree for writing!!! 

she will plan to write a fictional book series for maybe most of her life and then get attention from that!!! 

maybe she’ll even make a tiktok account for publicity reasons for her book??? maybe it’ll turn into a movie??? WHO KNOWS!!! if u want ur rkmuse to be in a book film adaption... arin will be honored to have ur muse be a star in it 

@rkyjun​‘s fate! 

i wanted to get more in-depth with his character development this year, but i feel kind of unfair that i focused more on mina than i did him... truth be told, i made rkyjun in a time where i struggled a lot and i needed to find something to be able to get those emotional feelings out. as a result, he was brought to life! a business major who failed to achieve his dreams of fulfilling music the way he originally intended too!! but because i’m back on my feet, he deserves to get back on his as well!

after getting together with @rkchoisan​, he would’ve started thinking about making his life different.

would’ve had a heart-to-heart conversation with his mom and dad about how he struggled being their child bc he felt like they never loved him. and while it’ll be emotional, it probably would’ve resulted in him moving out to live with his bf!!!

as a result of the move, would’ve transferred to k-arts to major in music!! yes the change and years of taking classes he missed out on will be annoying, but he’ll still go with it just bc he wants to be able to follow his dreams

will be an indie musician!! like arin, will probably try to use tiktok as a way to promote his music! think him like... how mxmtoon rose to popularity!

there’s another alternate universe where he debuts in a boygroup w san and another friend’s muse... but i will not go in-depth with that ❤️  their name is comet!

will still keep in touch with friends from snu and sopa!! he’ll try his best to reach out to them, especially given the fact that he kinda distanced himself from them bc of how his life took that unfortunate fall. but he’s getting back together and he’s going to be happy!!

and finally!! 

kang mina’s fate

following the announcement of @rkchungha​‘s debut, she’d move in with @danielxrk​ for a bit. 

would’ve struggled during the next few months with the heartz project. sure, she enjoyed being apart of it and getting to know the other girls. but she’d basically have... impostor syndrome? wondering if she really deserved the achievements she got bc she’s only had such little experience

despite her hardships, would be able to debut (as confirmed by bianca the queen that she is) as heartz’s 11th girl, miae (미애) and have the solo “one & only” with bside “seesaw” (ft. @rkheejin​ and @rksuas​)! 

would also be overjoyed about the fact that she and @rkyurim​ will debut as the last two girls together!! all mina’s ever wanted was to debut with her day 1 partner!!!

that being said, she is confirmed to be heartz’s maknae!!!! and she wears that like a badge of honor.

also a member of heartz yyxy w heejin, yurim, and @rkheunji​!!! mxnark grimes’s godmother?!

overjoyed to go from a little sister with two older brothers to a little sister with 11 older sisters!!! ❤️

i want to imagine she gave daniel and her dad tickets to see her debut showcase with the other 11 girls. KINDA wanna go the emo route and say that mom came to visit too. 

inclined to say she’s a little shit as a maknae, but is still loved

youtube channel would’ve been found out!! and fans could comment about how proud of how far she’s come!!

before debut, would’ve deactivated. not many people would find out about her stan twt bc she never posted selfies and went by an alias... but with how she acts on lives and in the fancafe, her fans would speculate... but she’d always be vague about her responses (think this) 

in her future, would’ve been an actress and probably an mc (bc MC MINA!!!)

additionally, with the fact that she’s an actress, would be casted in a drama w bf @rksbin​ and maybe months after that drama airs its final episode, come out w news about their relationship? a nam joohyuk + lee sungkyung fate?!

she will attend all heartz girls’ weddings and invite them to her own!! >:O

and with that, i log off! i will perhaps write about my muse’s personal endeavors on my indie blog (that’s dead now... but will be brought to life) @moxle​ or my muse writing blog @tangerinewrites​!!! expect me to be there this nanowrimo 👁

thank you so much for being the rp that you are, rookies!! i’m so glad to have been able to be apart of this journey with you all ❤️

clem 🍊

[mxnark]

KANG MINA AS ANNETTE FANTINE DOMINIC!

"i’m your girl!” 

FT. the shield’s successor ⚔️

[mxnark]

— `, ● girls on fire .

rkyurim​:

yoorim knows that they should return to their practice sooner rather than later, but she selfishly wants to savour the moment that she has with mina. not many can say that they are lucky enough to become a trainee and even fewer can say that they are then instantly added to a competition where the prize  is to debut, to think that both of them experience the same opportunity… it’s mind-blowing, to say the least. besides, who else can she celebrate the news with, than mina? no one, there is no one.

a flash of sadness hits her when she realises that this isn’t something she can brag about to just about anyone, yoorim won’t be able to talk freely about her accomplishments. truth be told, she won’t even be able to unleash her worries and to discuss her upcoming thoughts about evaluations. suddenly, it scares her to be part of a project whilst so undeniably fresh to the sole concept of being a trainee, and though mina shares the same difficulties, yoorim feels a little alone in all of this. strangely so.

mina’s encouragement brings courage and motivation, though, neither of them have a choice but to work their hardest for a positive outcome. regardless of whether they end up debuting now, or not, it will undoubtedly be an amazing opportunity to grow, and to learn—although, now that they have the chance to reach the limelight, yoorim swiftly believes that there is no other outcome worthwhile, than to actually debut. it’s going to be hard; going forward from now, it’s going to be incredibly hard.

“mh! we gotta! imagine if we make it, we have to imagine that we make it. together, hopefully…” she says the latter part slightly coyly, smiling modestly whilst hoping that mina sees it the same way.

she watches yoorim’s enthusiastic response to her and it feels comforting to know that the both of them were on the same page. hopefully, she says. just the fact that she uses the word hope proves that they both felt the same on how they wished they could be able to debut with the other girls. even if it meant that she’d be up against people who are far more qualified for being an idol than she is with her three weeks of being a trainee and years of dancing to songs, she was still trying to tell herself to be optimistic. 

truth be told, there wasn’t many people she could rant about these emotions too. of course she could trust soobin with any secret of hers now, but there’s a possibility she could get in trouble if she told anyone who wasn’t even a trainee. the fact that he holds such significance in her life is already breaking the contract rules. all of her friends who were already part of the project have been trainees for months already and she didn’t want to burden them with how badly she wanted to debut, too. and daniel, while the main reason for her wanting to be here, wasn’t apart of the project with her. 

but she’s glad she has the other. and she’s glad they can go through these next few months of dancing and singing together. sure, it may be a bummer that they won’t be able to do evaluations with their friends in other companies, but that doesn’t mean that this experience would be terrible for them. even if they don’t get to debut in the end, it’ll still be a great learning opportunity for them... even if  mina’s hopes were already so high.

"right. we gotta work hard so that we can debut together!” after saying that, she remembers the fact that they were going to be late to practice. “oh! but maybe we go back to practice first? that way we don’t get on our coach’s nerves?” she gives her a cheeky smile, already not regretting this conversation despite the fact that she might get lectured for it. 

[mxnark]

our lucky day

yuzurk​:

yuzu feels conflicted in so many ways. there were a lot of thoughts swirling around in her head that left her feeling slightly stunted. but mina’s pure enthusiasm, her genuine joy and endless support for her had yuzu’s worries melt away at least to an extend.

deep down she knows mina is right but just because her fans would support her and be okay with letting things change, yuzu wasn’t sure she was ready for it. especially when mina told her she’d always be her fan- how few chances would she get for these kind of opportunities now?

reaching up to cup the younger’s cheeks with a giggle she couldn’t help but squish her into another hug. “well I hope yer gon’ work hard t'make sure yer gon’ debut with me then,” she counters instead, doing her best to sound cheerful despite how torn she still felt. the last she wanted was to worry her after all.

the hug that the other girl gives to her feels more comforting than she expects it to. it’s funny the more mina thinks about it. just months ago, she was just amazed over the fact that she met yuzu in the living flesh. hell, the fact that she’s considered a genuine friend of hers now that she’s even able to get a warm and tight hug like this? 

the past mina would practically be starstruck at this. but the mina now hugs her back happily. when she hears the other encourage her to work hard so that she can debut with her, she couldn’t help but giggle in response. “yuzu, it’s still too early! i don’t even know if i’m ready yet,” she responds with a smile. 

but she wasn’t going to deny the fact that she wants to be able to have the privilege of being a group with her. so she nods her head confidently and gives the other a thumbs up. “i’ll work hard! i promise you,” she answers with a smile. “i’ll work so hard that you and i can debut together.” 

[mxnark]

。˚∘ it ends how it begins ;

rkchungha​:

it seemed like it was happening too fast. she didn’t have that long to make arrangements. mina had nowhere to go. she was most worried about her. god and what was she going to do with meiqi’s extra things? probably have to put anything that can’t go to the dorm with her grandmother and just not explain whose is what. for as long as she’s been waiting for the time to come, she’s utterly unprepared for it to actually happen.

“i think i could keep giving you money for rent so you wouldn’t struggle.” it was the only thing chungha could think of. what else could she do? on the flip side, she could withhold the information about her upcoming debut. that way she could still receive money and mina would have a place to stay.

but now, that wouldn’t work. her grandmother would surely tell them after she drops off her extra things. she was at a loss with what to do. she couldn’t leave mina practically homeless. where would she go? chungha rubbed her eyes.

“i can’t believe i would be bummed out by debut because i’m too worried about you,” she jokes with a smile, pulling the younger in for a hug. “will you be okay without me?”

@mxnark

even if mina personally disliked the song that they were to perform today, she tells herself to suck it up so that she can at least try to enjoy the evaluation. if not for herself, at least for the fact that this would be her last group evaluation with the other. 

she was obviously excited when the announcement came out that the girl was set to debut. she was probably one of the only girls that immediately gave chungha a big hug after the monthly announcements were over. but she’d be lying if she said she wasn��t at least a little upset by what would follow after this announcement. 

and that’s the fact that from this point on, mina would be on her own. 

as she listens to the older, she couldn’t help but pout. “noo... don’t be bummed out about debuting! you worked so hard for this!” she says before she’s pulled into a hug. she hugs the other back, making it a little tighter than she usually would because she wants to comfort the girl. “i’m going to be fine! i promise you,” she answers her with a smile. a part of her doesn’t even know if she’s 100% sure about that, but she doesn’t want to think about that for now. “unnie, don’t stress over me especially after the good news! you don’t deserve that!” 

[mxnark]

mina’s october heartz evaluation! performing bird by seyeon of she’z

after hearing about the announcement of chungha’s debut, it only motivated mina to work harder than she usually does. of course she’s been trying her best with performing ever since she got into the project, but the stakes were much higher now. with chungha being the seventh girl to be revealed and juyeon being another girl who is set to debut, that only meant there were four spots to the final line up. that meant only a few months for mina to have a shot at debuting with the only other trainee who she was closest with in sphere (and soon, that trainee title will turn to idol). 

compared to her first two solo evaluation songs, as well as her audition song for star bright, “bird” was a lot more mature. it was a much cooler concept than the last two. with it being a concept out of her comfort zone, she was unsure if she’d be able to do well with it. but one thing she’s noticed from the girl’s stages is that she was confident with her performances. her movements were with force and the lyrics and her voice worked together to bring a point. that the girl was set to fly and that she wasn’t going to fall. 

and mina didn’t intend to fail, even with the fact that she is not as experienced as the other girls here. 

for the movements involving contact with the back up dancers, she found ways to improvise with her own dancing that could still make the entire performance perfect. the thing about this song is how she can perform both gracefully and forcefully. even in the music video, she goes from the dress of a goddess to a modern, badass outfit. as she dances, she makes sure her facial expressions are good for the performance. she wants to look hopeful that she will be able to soar. and once she jumps, she will be able to fly and soar free (like a bird). 

she convinces herself that the only way she can go is up from this point on. and she does not plan on backing down. 

[mxnark]

HAPPY 1 YEAR TO MXNARK! 

hi everyone! i can’t believe it’s been a year since i got accepted into rookies and get to write for my little favorite gremlin! seeing that me having this muse for a whole year is an achievement, i made a video edit in honor of such a poggers moment that’s happened in my rp history. i’ve been thinking about making a video edit like this since july, yet only got around to working on it in the span of two nights just this week. 

obviously, the other people that aren’t mina are important to mina’s development and also her journey as a muse, whether that be just as a rookie or a trainee (though, she and i still love all the connections and plots we have for her!). i’m going to be a little bit sappy and emotional under the read more to just talk about my experience with rookies and how i’ve grown to love the place. 

CONTENT WARNING UNDER THE CUT: depression, anxiety, VERY minimal mention of suicide (was very vague about this) and dissociation (mentioned it once) 

as some of you may know, this isn’t actually my first time in rookieskrp. i’ve joined previously with a pizza boy jungkook, girl who hates her older sister sujeong, and the first run of mxnark. during each of my separate stays at rookies, i never stayed that long. i stayed on jungkook for less than half a year, sujeong for a month or two, and mina 1.0 didn’t even last a week! whenever i thought about returning, i always doubted myself, comparing myself to the muns who have stayed much longer than i have and how i wasn’t going to reach their level. (fun fact: the reason why mina 1.0 didn’t last long was because i was going through a rp writer’s block due to ~trauma~). 

so how did i stay long this time around?

a year ago, i was in a different living situation than i am in today. my mental health a month before i (re)joined was at a very low point after months of it being at its peak. i dissociated a lot, felt more tired to do even the littlest task, and felt very alone. at that point in life, i felt very hopeless for my future and what i was going to do with it. the only time i felt at peace at all was when i went out of the house to go outside on my own. 

then october came around, and a friend reached out to me. 

as i mentioned before, i joined as mina previously with a connection to daniel (carly’s muse, mina’s older brother). i wasn’t sure if i made it obvious through my past private account’s tweets at the time of how rough my life was, but i saw carly’s invitation to me coming back as a way of trying to at least get some motivation in me. i was a bit hesitant to come back at first, considering i went on a huge rp break just before, but i decided to join nonetheless. and i’m very glad that i did!!!

there were many reasons as to why i stayed this long. a part of me doubted myself, still believing that it wouldn’t be a long journey of having mxnark (one year still isn’t that long, but it’s the longest i kept a muse in an rp!). well, wanting to know about her older brother, i had decided to read the solos that carly wrote for him. and while it did take me a while to get to reading all of them, by the end of it, i felt motivated enough to keep mina in the rp so that she could prosper in the future like her brother. my muse felt her felt inspired about his journey and i felt inspired by their writing, so i made it a goal to make sure that mina would reach similar heights and continue prospering. 

that motivation pushed me through that rough point in time. around that time, i also got @rkyjun and writing for him and mina during nano (tried to reach 50k w all replies) definitely gave me motivation to keep it up. by the time december came, i was able to return to the house i live in now and am doing much better!!

i definitely am satisfied with what mina has achieved during her time here, mainly the fact that i was able to have her be a trainee!! especially with a company that i just put in her dream company for giggles, before she ended up really wanting to be in sphere after seeing daniel and chungha casted in it. not only that, but i got to meet so many new friends as well as get to grow closer to some others during my time here. it’s funny how i joined mina with the intention of just being someone’s little sister, but was able to develop her into her own person!! and now i’m very attached to her because had it not been for her, i probably wouldn’t have made it this far in life FJAWIEOJAO

that being said, i’m very grateful to be in rookies!! of course, i would write sappy letters to those who made mine and mina’s time here the more fun, but i’ll save that for another time in the future. i feel like the both of us make it obvious enough on how much we appreciate and love you. FWJEIOFAJOI

tl;dr: me one year ago: :(  mxnark: (exists)  me today: :) 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ONE, ONGOING YEAR, ROOKIES!!! here’s to many more!! 

ALSO FOR ANYONE WHO’S STILL HERE AND WANTS MORE CONTEXT ON THE EDIT: 

added yoojung in the video because she’s mina’s angel voice who told her to sign up for the star bright!! 

added daniel aka the main reason as to why she wanted to be in sphere in the first place

added yoorim because she is literally her sphere journey twin...? IDK but they both got casted into sphere via star bright and got added into heartz together!!! AND MINA LOVES HER!!! 

we all know why soobin is there i just wanted to make a special mention bc that’s my favorite part of the video also ily fifi #soomina 

CHUNGHA!! bc this video editor said “fuck chungmina selfie rights”, the caption of the snap said “don’t flirt w my mom xx 😡” (also mina is very happy about the debut announcement but i made this before october 7th KAFEWJFIOA) 

[mxnark]

rkheunji​:

since it was nearing the end of the month, she was even more focused on making sure her entire performance was put together. there was the point that she worked mostly on her vocals. ( honestly, the better part of the time was spent on making sure she had good vocals. ) and then she spent some time on focusing on the dancer. ( and thankfully, she managed to pick it up pretty well. ) now, it was time to put it all together and have someone review it. 

that lucky someone was mina. “thank you again!” eunji waved as the girl walked into the dance room. she was crouched on the ground, setting up the speakers and music. “and thank you for helping me with my english as well.” if anything, she could say the girls were helpful, seeing as yurim was helping her out as well.  “i won’t take up too much of your time.” 

@mxnark

mina had made some goals for herself while she would be taking part in the debut project. not only was she hoping to grow as a performer during the next few months she has with them, but she also hoped to grow closer to the other girls in the project as well. the girl could definitely use some more friends. not to mention she needed to not cling to the ones that she had already known beforehand.

that's why she's glad to help out eunji with her evaluation performance. sure, she had to practice for her own, but she only needed to touch up her performance and she could definitely do that another time. she walks into the dance room and is immediately greeted by the familiar face, waving back with a smile. "no problem! anything to help you out, sunbaenim," she responds with a grin. "and you're not taking up my time at all! motivation's a great song, and i think you're a great performer! so you don't need to worry about me."

[mxnark]

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ MORE AND MORE.

rkheejin​:

     the younger girls reaction is one that pulls an amused laugh out of her, heejins lips curling upwards into an almost delighted smile, and she hopes mina doesn’t take her teasing actions to heart too much. judging by both her words and actions, however, heejin is sure everything is fine. from what she remembered, the younger girl knew how to play well, was honest in her own right, and, thankfully, wasn’t someone who held herself back ( at least, heejin felt like she didn’t hold herself back ).

     while heejin tended to be fairly judgmental of people, especially when it came to first meetings, her first few encounters with mina had gone down a little differently, mainly because the two had a common denominator to help ease them into a more friendly relationship. daniel was nice, someone heejin had come to trust and appreciate pretty quickly from how much time they’d needed to spend together, so by association, mina was easy to approach. of course, she’d had her own reservations, but there wasn’t a need to be too distant or give the cold shoulder while taking in her personality.

     so, she’s happy the two of them are here together now. while they both needed to keep their guards up as they trained to try and secure their own spots within the project, there was still ample time to talk to one another on their own accords. this was a good opportunity, and heejin wouldn’t let it slip by just yet.

     “i’m glad, then, i would’ve been hurt if you’d forgotten about me so quickly.” and really, at the very least, being forgotten would’ve stung at least a little bit. call her conceited, or at the very least overly confident, but heejin felt she wasn’t the type of person people could simply disregard. heejin lets herself mellow out a bit, nodding along as the younger girl speaks. “i’m sure it all feels like a lot— trying to adjust to trainee life, only to suddenly be in a debut project.” she can only imagine how much of a whirlwind that must be, and heejin is glad she’d had the time she did to simply be a trainee first before being trained specifically with debut in mind. “you haven’t lost your head yet, so that’s a good sign. and if you ever feel like you are, you can come to me or any of the others girls.”

she feels like she's valid to be nervous. considering the fact that she, compared to her brother, didn't know heejin as well, she wasn't really sure on how to impress her. with the fact that she was practically a newbie compared to all the other trainees who have been training far longer than she has, she just wanted to make sure she didn't seem at all weird to any of the other girls there. heejin especially, considering the fact that she was able to see her talents on her tv screen.

so the sound of her laughter eases her worries and she lets out a mental sigh of relief. thank god she hasn't messed up so far today. how unfortunate would that be if she did! not only did it calm her down, but it makes mina smile to know that she made the other laugh genuinely. the fact that just her awkwardness gets a positive reaction? it definitely felt comforting. especially if it came from someone as cool as the other.

what heejin says in response makes mina smile, but not in an uncomfortable way. in fact, the other girl summed up her experience thus far better than herself. it was already a huge shock to be acknowledged via the star bright auditions. but now have a chance to debut barely a month into being a trainee? as excited as she is about the amazing opportunity (especially with the fact that she wasn't the only one going through this), it did feel like a lot was happening to her. it felt comforting to know that someone was able to sympathize. she's sure the other girls could understand, but hearing heejin's words definitely felt like how a good senior would talk to a person new to the field. was she admiring the fact that she's talented and kind? yes. did care? not in the slightest.

"thank you, unnie," she says in response to her words, soft smile still on her lips. "honestly, i'm just really thankful i get to be apart of this project with such talented people. including you, obviously. because you were amazing on the mgas." the fact that she's practically telling heejin that she's a fan of her is a little peculiar, so decides to end her response with something else. "what i'm trying to say is i hope we get to know each other more through this project. and possibly become better friends by the end of it." there we go. an excellent response.

[mxnark]

my turn

danielxrk​:

(🔥🏀) 

“oh nooo, not emotions,” he teases her. he has a quick flashback to what must’ve been his hideous sobbing face during the finale of the mgas, and is suddenly overcome by a wave of new embarrassment that mina had to watch that. that’s over and done now, though. no point to dwell, even though daniel won’t really have a choice in doing so from time to time; shoutout to anxiety. “good,” and he grins. “annoy me until i yell at you to go home.” he’s only kidding too, of course.

suddenly, he’s curious. “do you know where you’re going next for your schedule?”

the topic of auditions come up and she finds herself hesitating to respond. not because she's embarrassed by it. sure, she could've chosen a different song for her audition. but she was satisfied with going with a demi lovato song to dance to, as the nostalgia that came with the song benefitted her spirits for her performance. even if she did want that audition to be good enough to get her here, she was not shy to admit it.

rather, what she was hesitant to say was the interview that got her there, to begin with. she feels like she spent a good two (if not more) minutes talking about how his journey from empty enigma and the mgas to being casted was what inspired her to even audition in the first place. even with the fear of her mom's disappointment lingering in her.

she's sure she'll be able to thank daniel for all of that one day... but not on her first day at sphere!

she listens to his audition story and she couldn't help but snort at his way of recounting the event. "can't forget kang daniel, mnet's favorite guitar boy," she jokes. "but it's good that you added some part of yourself into your audition! especially with the rapping. we all need a bit of mc kang-d out there." wanting to move on from that awful, punny nickname, she answers his question finally about her audition. "really don't care from demi lovato? a classic from middle school. there's a choreo for it on youtube and it looked hard, but fun. i sang and sounded really shaky at like... the second half of my audition, but i mean, i'm proud of myself! and miss jiyoung liked it enough. so..." she shrugs with a smile.

she shakes her plans. in all honesty, given the situation she was in right now, she was looking for things to do after training tonight. sure, she gets home late enough that she doesn't have to talk to her parents that much, but just being at home was a real mood-killer for her. so when daniel suggests spending time with him to celebrate her achievement, she finds herself smiling. "zeroth... really?" she asks, laughing at the other (in a loving way, obviously). even as lame as that word was, she still accepts the invitation. "why not! i like cupcakes. if we get a bigger cake, that'll definitely be much better. but you're the one buying it, so it's up to you."

she rolls her eyes at his teasing. honestly, if she were to be emotional for a second, she'd probably take a lot more time than what she's given to get through the rest of the day. not to mention, she wasn't comfortable with showing her emotions in a public space, let alone with her brother standing there in panic of what to do. but thankfully, they don't linger on that topic of conversation for too long. she looks at her schedule, that she took on her phone for her own convenience, before responding to him. "uhh... should be music theory with piano," she answers, later looking up at him and showing him the picture. "i'm still new to the building, so if you could be the kind, patient, slightly loser-ish brother you are and help me find the room, that would be great!"

[mxnark]

twelfth flyer

michaxrk​:

(...) 

( besides, unlike the other convex members, he wasn’t particularly extraordinary. he’s still the same kid who loved dancing more than anything else in the world, and the desire he holds in his eyes for the spotlight reflects back in hers just as strongly. )

“how is training so far, by the way?”

she thought she could get away with referring to him casually, as he’s technically her senior and she wanted to be respectful. but she’s proven wrong when he lets her know that she doesn’t have to address him formally. it definitely catches her off guard and she feels a little embarrassed by the fact that he said it. but it’s not his fault! if anything, that just made him seem friendlier than she had expected him to be. 

it’s not like mina wanted to make him uncomfortable on purpose. the fact that even if there weren’t any coaches or managers around, she’d still feel... weird with calling micha- changmin in a less formal way. she was only that way with people she was comfortable with. people who she was used to imagining being on the same level or comfortability as her. it’s why she sometimes slips up with chungha and why she’s a little too informal with her brother and woong. 

but even before getting into sphere, she first knew the boy in front of her as convex’s micha when she was just a normal consta. she’s talked about wanting to be his friend (hypothetically) to her friends and mutuals. but actually being in that situation right now? it was a little more than mindblowing for her if she had to be honest. she’s surprised that anyone would want to be her friend, let alone the changmin. 

but obviously, she didn’t want to refuse the opportunity. so she finds herself smiling (a bit awkwardly, but it’s mostly natural) to the other. “ah! right. are you sure?” she asks again, just to confirm that he was okay with her addressing him more casually. it’s a little silly to ask. in a normal situation, asking someone who’s her age if they want her to be formal or not would kind of be laughable. but she’s sure if someone else (maybe another fan like her) were in her shoes, they’d be doing the same thing. 

“okay! minnie then... you said you wanted to be called minnie, right?” she asks curiosuly. “if any manager or coach comes by, i’ll just call you minnie-sunbaenim so that i’m not technically being informal with you.” there’s a playful tone in that, hoping to make the atmosphere less awkward around them. she’s not sure if it’s actually working, but it doesn’t hurt to give it a try. “oh! training is going fine. little overwhelmed by everything, since it hasn’t been too long since i got signed... it’s still weird to think i’m a trainee now, especially since i was used to being... ordinary.” 

[mxnark]

see the light.

juyeonrk​:

juyeon throws the younger female a thumbs up, accompanied by a wide smile. “i sure am!” she chimes. juyeon had never been one for honorifics, even though she was always really adamant about being respectful towards her superiors. even she got caught up on being polite at times when with her seniors. jace from convex always called her out on it. juyeon just felt like it made situations more comfortable if everyone was on a first name basis. it also made juyeon feel less nauseous, after all; hearing sunbae constantly made juyeon feel like she had to play a role of sorts. unnie or noona however, was becoming second nature. she wanted to be sisterly towards the younger trainees at sphere. and if she couldn’t be that, then she just wanted to be herself, to be juyeon.

sphere, well at least to juyeon, gave off warm and welcoming vibes. juyeon had found it relatively easy to adjust when she became a new trainee. inviting environments were the best type. juyeon hums, listening to mina intently, hands tucked in the back pockets of her denim shorts. she totally understood where she was coming from. if you’re not of this world, it can be very overwhelming. she smiles. “that’s really exciting to hear! evaluations are really fun, tough but fun! we always get to do something new each month too.” juyeon chimes. she felt somewhat like a spokesperson, a very enthusiastic spokesperson. she hopes mina doesn’t find her too weird.

when mina says it back to juyeon, reality sort of sets in. three years. wow. she hadn’t done a lot in her three years but her three years of hard work were paying off thanks to this debut project. juyeon shrugs. “ah! i guess so … it went so fast.” she mutters. juyeon feels a teensy bit better knowing mina already knew people at sphere. that definitely was going to make her time here a lot easier, maybe a little challenging too. “it was obviously meant to be!” juyeon says, giving a little clap. “aw! you’re too sweet! i really hope we get to see more of eachother, mina. i think you’re gonna do really well here.”

it was almost funny how mina could already feel herself getting comfortable with the other girl. her personality made it easy for her to talk to as well as calm her nerves. sure, there was still that intimidation factor that came with her being her senior. but even if so, she didn't feel too scared talking to the other right now. the fact that juyeon didn't really mind dropping the honorifics for this interaction was only bonus to that feeling. (but even still, mina decides to be respectful to her anyways. she didn't want to set too bad of an impression on any of the coaches who could be around.)

mina listens to her as juyeon explains about her thoughts on evaluations and she nods in agreement to all she says. of course, since mina was new to everything, evals were definitely more difficult than she thought they'd be. but, she was still confident about how this month's evaluation would go. not only was it her first, but her brother was helping her out with it, too. the perks of already having someone close to you in this company. "that definitely sounds more exciting, now that you mention you guys do something different every month!" she says with a smile. on the topic of evaluations and other trainees, she couldn't help but come up with a question. surely juyeon would be able to understand what she would want to ask about, considering the fact that she's been here for three years, much longer than mina's... three weeks(?).

but before she can ask, juyeon speaks up and she finds herself responding to the other's comments first. "oh! thank you so much," she answers with a laugh. "i hope i do! hopefully well enough so that i can stay in the same company for a while." it would definitely be something if she managed to debut with juyeon, let alone with all her other friends that she had run into here... which reminds her to ask the question. "actually, on the topic of evaluations and stuff... are you perhaps in the heartz project?" she asks curiously. "i just wanted to ask because i know like... two girls who are apart of it and they briefly talked about it to me?" she shrugs. "i don't know. they didn't really go much into it, so i can assume it's kind of complicated compared to being a regular trainee." she laughs lightly... hopefully not making this situation any awkward than it was before.

[mxnark]

shock attack

rkchungha​:

chungha nodded. the respect was on her face. “you know for all the shit i pull with your brother not even i managed to do that. good job,” she says, rising her hand to high-five the younger for her efforts. “ah yes the godly child that he is.” chungha jokes. but she’s quick to add, “he’s probably so happy to have you here.” thinking to the rough months both she and daniel had some time ago affirmed that even if he denied it, chungha knew he was glad to have his sister in the same company as he. he’s lonely, chungha wants to say but she knows not to.

she and daniel were alike in that respect.

ah there goes the mention again of debut and a good opportunity. she has been in better spirits since her talk with both daniel and juyeon but she still can’t shake the sour chord the twanged when the heartz project was ever mentioned. “yeah they’re really cool.” and they were. the videos were divine and as chungha has seen online, there seems to be a connection between the girls and their music. how incredibly clever and innovative. chungha wonders if she’ll ever be amongst them but she doesn’t say this to mina. she can’t let it become something of doubt. “thank you!”

she manages a smile and purposely doesn’t say anything about what her reaction would be like if she didn’t debut. (she’d be pissed) but her stomach is growling as if on cue for something to eat. “it’s okay, really!” she says with a soft smile. though the truth is her heart ached that she wasn’t going to spend any time with mina. she wanted to be with her, watch her learn the ropes. she wants to see her reaction to the gym facilities or how she fairs in the showers. chungha wants to be next to her every step of the way. remembering that she wouldn’t be there has her bringing mina back into her embrace, laughing as she waddles them over towards the line. “i sit in the middle because i like being the centre of attention,” chungha jokes. it wouldn’t be long until daniel joined them as well.

“promise me you’ll survive your first day. i feel so bad for leaving you on your own like this.”

her giggling is expected when chungha raises her hand for mina to high-five, obviously returning it for her accomplishment. “it’s the perk of being his little sister,” she responds to him with a confident smile. “even if i didn’t really expect that from him either. i just know for sure that i have impact.” when chungha adds onto her statement, mentioning her brother being happy that she was here, she nods her head. “he should be! i’m amazing~” she says confidently. she laughs off her joke for the time being, nodding her head and smiling sincerely for what she says next. “honestly? i’m happy to be here with him, too.” and she meant it, even if it did feel weird to admit to the other. 

if she had to be honest, she doesn’t think there was really any other company she wanted to be apart of besides sphere. sure, she liked all the artists from samsung’s four other companies. she definitely wouldn’t mind being in a company as intense as trc or as popular as kt. hell, she probably would’ve been happy being with yuzu and yoojung at royal. but after seeing both daniel and chungha on the mgas and get casted by sphere (even if it was years later), she could only hope to be in those companies with them. being casted by one of samsung’s companies, let alone by sphere, was an honor. but being casted into a company with trainees that she considered practically considered inspirations? a blessing. 

when the other pulls her into a hug as they walk to the line has her a little surprised, but she definitely wanted to return the hug. as the both of them waddle into the line, she laughs at the other’s comment. “good. so do i,” she responds with a laugh. “we can be the center of attention together while daniel just sits and eats his food. or gets embarrassed by us... though, that might come later. maybe we’ll be more embarassing during lunchtime.” 

the next comment warms her heart and she feels herself pout from how wholesome it sounds. “of course! i promise you i’ll survive! you don’t need to worry about me, unnie.” she gives her a thumbs up. “it’s not like i’m going to cause a ruckus later on... but let’s grab a plate so i can guarantee you i won’t do something stupid later on.” 

[mxnark]

kang mina ⇢ semina - ‘샘이나’ mv

[mxnark]

mina’s september heartz evaluation! (2/2) performing rollercoaster by seolhwa (chungha)

there are many interpretations to “rollercoaster”, but one thing is for certain is that this song is about love. back when this was first released, mina didn’t pay as much attention to the lyrics as she had to now. but now that she decided to perform this song for her evaluation, she had to think about how she could get herself into the mindset. 

while her main reason for choosing this song was because of how fun and bright the song was, compared to what seolhwa would release in the future, she found more reasons to loving the song every time she looked at the lyrics and danced to the song. while she loved the independent nature that the heartz’s group evaluation song had, mina definitely could not deny that she’s a bit of a hopeless romantic. maybe not so much hopeless anymore, considering the fact that she actually has a boyfriend now, but her feelings for the other definitely come through as she performs the song to her coaches. 

mina isn’t public about her relationship. if she was, she wouldn’t even be in this dance studio right now. she’s definitely told chungha about it when the other caught her smiling at her phone while in their shared bedroom. she obviously told daniel because it’s daniel. if she kept any more secrets from him after the secret about being casted, she knows that she’ll feel guilty about it. but besides those few, mina hasn’t told anyone else about them. 

so when she sings this song with him in mind, no one else can know as to why she puts her heart into the performance. the thrill of having butterflies in her stomach feeling similar to that as reaching the top before taking the fall. the experience of these feelings similar to that uncertainty on when the drop comes. and the rush of adrenaline as she confesses her feelings, similar to the feeling of finally reaching the fall. 

and every kiss restates the same four words that make her feel an overload of happiness. “i like you, too” is essentially the moment she realizes that she wants to ride an exciting rollercoaster again. so that she can feel the happiness and butterflies she had felt the first time with every interaction with him. 

but she gets her cool moment in the dance, too. she doesn’t completely portray herself as overfilled with love. “look,” with a wink 

and with that, she ends her evaluation with a bow and a big smile, feeling more satisfied with this performance than the last. 

[mxnark]

mina’s september heartz evaluation! (1/2)  performing not shy by itzy (w the rest of the heartz trainees) 

to say mina was nervous about evaluations would be an understatement. even if she's practiced with her singing and rapping skills on her own and even for her last solo evaluation, the number of lines that she got with not shy compared to the two lines she got for news was very alarming for her. it doesn't help that she also got center parts as well.

but while she is nervous about it, it made her all the more excited. if anything, it made her want to work harder on improving. the fact that she's getting more lines could mean that they're seeing her potential, something that the girl obviously wanted to keep on showing off her skills to the coaches. if she keeps pushing herself, she'll probably get a chance to be on stage with all of the other talented girls apart of this project. and she definitely did not want to miss out on that.

what gets her attention right off the bat is how she gets a solo dance part not even a minute in the song. and how she gets the center rap lines with chungha as well? the fact that she's sharing choruses with her was basically a blessing. from being a fangirl to eventually being a close friend of hers, mina's definitely more than excited that it's a topic of discussion for practice that she can have with her.

the dance is fun. the song is essentially her style: confident, fun, and cool. though she doesn't think it's realistic of her to debut soon just in time for the girl crush concept, she has hopes of getting a concept similar to this if she were to have the chance. she can't get her hopes yet, though. she still has to humble herself for the possibility of not being able to debut at all. even if it is hard to not daydream about it.

regardless of everything, she still decides to practice as much as she can. her words to the lady that told about this project ring loudly in her mind at least once a month since the announcement. “i’ll make sure to prove myself.”

and she certainly will. 

[mxnark]

look out

rksbin​:

he’s not too sure if he’s ever felt this kind of thing before. but he likes it; it’s a different kind of happiness altogether. and in order to keep this happiness, he wants to do everything he can. he smiles at his girlfriend and gently pinches her cheeks. she’s so adorable, and soobin will never tire from thinking that. “of course,” he replies. 

in order to show his determination, he gets on the bicycle. because despite his love for all things that aren’t troublesome, his feelings for mina hold greater. and if there’s any way possible that he can comfort her, he at least wants to try. 

it’s supposed to be a couple’s bicycle, and in that moment, soobin doesn’t think about how the weight doesn’t quite balance since he’s the only one sitting. but he wants to reassure mina. and what better way to do that then by doing something that your parents told you never to do? “look,” he says, and he begins to pedal. everything goes smoothly, until soobin makes the wise decision to life both his hands from the handle. “even with no hands it’s completely fin ––” thunk! he falls off the bicycle ( in a not very cool way ), and groans.

this is. embarrassing. and it also hurts. thankfully, he isn’t injured badly, just a few scrapes here and there. he turns to look at his girlfriend and gives her a thumbs up, groaning as he does so. he’s never been a good actor, so he can’t exactly hide the pain. “it’s completely fine,” he says, before he falls back to the floor in pain. “babe…”

though mina was still worrying about riding the bike, she'd be lying if she said his smile and him pinching her cheeks doesn't make her feel any better. if she thought she had it bad before she started dating him and getting butterflies just from seeing his face, she would not know what to say to that mina about this effect on her.

she watches him go on a couple's bicycle on his own and she looks at him with a look of worry. it's only natural, really. but she doesn't stop him, as she wants to see him prove his point to see if it'd make her feel any better about the situation going on. that's obviously her mistake as a girlfriend, but she doesn't think too much about it. that is... until he lifts his hands off of the handles. "soobin, i don't think that's a good idea," she tries to warn. but it was too late as he falls off the bicycle.

despite the anxiety that fills her brain on whether the boy was okay, a loud pfft leaves her mouth as she finds herself laughing out loud at the situation. the fact that she (and probably he) knew it was a bad idea, yet he still followed through with it and faced the consequences? it was comedically perfect.

but then she quickly stops as she finds herself rushing over to his side. stupid mina! your boyfriend's probably in pain! "oh my GOD! are you okay?" she asks, her voice painted with worry. "i knew this was a bad idea! i don't even know how you can say you're all fine after a fall like that!"