mxndwitch

[mxndwitch]

Happy ten year anniversary to this blog :D <3 I'll never not love my Wanda girl

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Elizabeth Olsen for The Assessment promo with Jimmy Fallon

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Elizabeth Olsen for ‘THE ASSESSMENT’ press.

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WANDA MAXIMOFF | BILLY MAXIMOFF ↪ son of the scarlet witch

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"There isn't much to know", Wanda said with a sweet smile and a shake of her head, wondering when exactly she had become close to Agnes and if that had happened without her noticing. As far as she knew, they lived in the same town and had met a couple of times by accident. "Boring little life, nothing interesting."

@mxndwitch liked for an agatha starter

"So what's your story, hon?" Agnes asked, expression bright and curious. "We've gotten pretty close these past few weeks, but it feels as if I actually no so little about you." Not that she really cared about Wanda's backstory, she just wanted to know how she had created this little world for herself. Baby steps. She'd get there.

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You're so much like your mother.

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AGATHA ALL ALONG 1.05 - Darkest Hour Wake Thy Power WANDAVISION 1.09 - The Series Finale

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BOY THATS YOUR MAMA

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Didn't think I'd ever say that again, but with Agatha All Along I am really enjoying a Marvel production again for the first time in forever and Thunderbolts also didn't look too shabby!

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wanda is convinced that hope will outgrow her current picky eater phase, just like she outgrew the phase in which she insisted on wearing her rain boots to bed. yet, food is a little more important than worrying about sweaty toes during nap time, but she'll come around. wanda herself was a picky eater as a child, so she can hardly blame her daughter.

her fingers remain in his hair, remembering that it is almost time for a haircut again. last time she trimmed it, she was still heavily pregnant with the twins, but time has been slipping through her fingers lately and she hasn't paid attention to it. to him, if she's being honest. it's hard not to lose sight of each other when stuck in the tendrils of grief and hardship thrown their way. this world doesn't make it easy to find time to just be lovers.

when he speaks, she assumes they are both worried about different things, which is alright. "i know", wanda concedes, which is part of the problem in her opinion. that he would do it again and risk his life to protect them, even though she'd much prefer he wouldn't. it is in his nature, however, and she will not change that. the only thing wanda can hope now, is for him to recover well after this ordeal.

jamie makes a disgruntled noise and rubs his face with one of his tiny fists, before settling again. he struggles to sleep at night and sometimes wanda wonders if he misses his sister. obviously she doesn't know how it works at that age, but she can still feel the absence of her brother every single day of her life. maybe somewhere out there, in another life, both jamie and matilda and pietro and her get to grow old together.

"how do you feel?"

Beck misses the smile on Wanda's face, it would have maybe soothed him to see it . But he's focused on stroking his son's back && trying to ignore the pain in shooting through his body . HOPEFULLY the pill that he's taken will sand the edges down , but it'll be a while before it kicks in , if he can even keep it down .

❝ she'll grow out of it - ❞ he murmurs , tracing little circles over Jamie's little spine . ❝ She's pushing our boundaries , testing what she can get away with - the end of the world doesn't change a kid's instincts . ❞ He sounds sure , but he hopes that she'll start eating properly SOON . Yes , they're limited on food , but Beck would rather have to toil away harder in the gardens to feed his family than have his daughter waste away with refusal to eat .

He watches her sit , eyes up toward his brows as he sees her hand land in his hair . His eyes CLOSE at the sensation , finally. It felt like he'd been awake for weeks . Lets himself REST as he indulges in the touch to his favourite spot .

I'm not angry with you . He sighs , lungs EMPTYING completely . The baby boy on his chest dips as his lungs do . He makes a quiet gurgling sound at the movement that makes Beck's lips quirk .

❝ I'm worried too . ❞ he breathes . Doesn't want to drag that all up here && now , not when they've made it to this place . But he can't ease the gnawing pain . ❝ everything I do is for you && the kids . I would do the same thing again - if I had to . ❞

[mxndwitch]

EVEN THOUGH wanda has never been part of the military, she has spent enough time in war torn countries to know the tell tale signs of a city at the brink of collapse. it has been in the air for a couple of days now, they all felt it. yet, there is nothing someone like her can do, because her expertise is in healing, not in killing. though sometimes it feels like it's both the SAME in her field of work. saving lives with nothing but the bare necessities often times in death despite best efforts.

she can tell that beck is CONFLICTED, emotions flickering across his features in the split seconds he is to slow to catch them and reign them in. his men are his family and he has other responsibilities than her. THEY are his priority and that's how it should be. he cannot stay with her for much longer, if they are under attack.

the picture he paints is a bleak one and wanda's thoughts go out to her fellow doctors and nurses she lost in the chaos. there is no telling who of them survived and who didn't, let alone their patients. as terrible as it is, in situations like these only those survive who can actively fend for themselves. those who cannot walk or are unresponsive are left behind. it's the devastating truth of aid in war zones. her gaze drops to her hand for a moment, before it meets beck's again.

at this point in time, she is one of those people who needs to be LEFT BEHIND. and she cannot allow him to risk his life for her. wanda is about to speak, when he braces against the bed and she can see the exhaustion in his demeanor, as well as his emotions, even though he hides his face. her hand reaches out to cup his cheek and she smiles sadly. "hey, look at me - i'm hard to kill. also, you're the one who saved my ass. are we even now? i've saved yours a couple of times too", she jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

"you need to go out there, beck. i know you want to stay with me, but i am not your responsibility. you have a duty to carry out and i am a distraction. don't worry about me, i'll get out of here somehow." her thumb grazes over his cheekbone, before she retrieves her hand, because it trembles. "thank you for saving me."

Beck is grateful when she takes the cup && drinks . He tries to focus on that , pretends that she hasn't asked the question. Goes about fixing the sheets on the makeshift bed she's on. The second crash sounds LOUDER , although that might just be inside his head && he shuts his eyes against it for a long moment before twitching his head a little to the side && carrying on .

He SHOULD go , he knows that he should . Wanda as much as he disagrees is not his direct responsibility . He takes a couple of deep breaths .

❝ they're shelling. ❞ it's said quietly , stopping his fussing to press his palms into his hips && look just past Wanda , at the wall . ❝ They've taken out about three quarters of the safe zone we have set up - ❞ He sighs , hand comes out to close over hers && steady the cup . He has no choice then but to look at her face .

❝ My sergeants are evacuating civilians , I'm staying with you until I can get you on a second helivac . ❞ His jaw tenses , perhaps readying himself to have an argument with her. His shoulders shift backward , nervous tick .

❝ && you'll WALK when those fluids are gone . ❞ tone flatter - pointing loosely to where a bag is perched , tube leading up to a needle in her arm . ❝ Fuck , Wand - I thought i'd lost you . ❞ he leans forward , arms braced against the side of the bed , bent at the middle to look at the ground so she can't see the emotion on his face .

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ten hours. wanda blinks at the revelation, knowing fully well they didn't have any anaesthetics to give her, so she must have passed out from the blood loss and pain. for her to be out this long a considerable blood loss must have taken place, perhaps a nicked artery or something of the sort. given how exhausted and heavy she feels, she can already tell it will be a while until she has fully recovered from this. time they really don't have in their current situation, because she is fairly certain that everyone will be expected to evacuate in the very near future.

the crash outside startles her and she pries her attention away from beck, how valiantly has gotten up to get her some water. "what was that?", she croaks, but takes the paper cup he offers her to gulp down some water. it is a mental effort to restrain herself from drinking too much too quickly and making herself sick, given just how parched she is, but wanda forces herself to sip the liquid in favor of not throwing it up immediately. another crash echoes through the building and she clutches the cup a little harder, heart thumping in her chest.

"maybe you should see what's going on?" as much as she loves his company and is aware that he worries about her, she also knows beck is a man of duty. his fellow men are his second family and he cares for them deeply. she doesn't want to be the reason why he gets distracted from protecting them, even though she'd prefer to lock him away with her and not let him near any more harm that could befall him. "i'll be fine. i feel great, actually. might take a walk, run a marathon - the usual", she jokes and gives him a crooked grin, barely able to hold the cup up for longer than a few seconds without her hand shaking violently.

He doesn't leave her side, not once . He can't stand the thought of doing so , of her WAKING && being here in this strange place by herself . He's had to do that himself enough times to know that it's a PANIC that stays with you even after you find comfort once more.

So down into the chair next to her he goes, hand holding hers FIRMLY , standing vigil over her as though maybe she could slip away if he wasn't watching well enough . He can hear voices outside of the room they're in , some familiar , some that are obviously civilians . All of that begins to swim after a while , head lulling , his chin presses into his shoulder as he snoozes .

Then , what doesn't feel very long after he's first sat - but must be longer because the sun is setting , he feels her squeeze his hand && his head lifts . He blinks away the exhaustion , brow knitting as he meets her eyes . He takes a deep breath , raises his free hand to look at the watch on his wrist , do a little bit of MENTAL math in his head.

❝ uh - nearly ten hours ❞ he murmurs , a note of his own SHOCK at the revelation . ❝ we changed your dressings once - looks like you're clotting fine . ❞ He tries a smile, the shape of it seeming just a LITTLE off , but he can't do any better . Not when she still looks so weak && HE still feels so guilty.

❝ you're probably so fucking thirsty - ❞ He peels himself out of her grasp , up from his chair with a slight wobble && over to a nearby table to pour her a glass of water . There's a loud CRASH in the near distance as he returns , making him pause before he continues to her side . His jaw tightens .

❝ here , drink ❞

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despite the severity of the situation they are in, a smile flickers across wanda's lips at beck's words and she glances at jamie, whose eyes are closed and who is snuggled against his daddy's chest in the perfect little newborn scrunch. as a twin, he seems even more tiny than hope was once upon a time and wanda's heart aches with love for all three of her children. no matter how terrible the world is they live in, they are her greatest joy and comfort. maybe they were foolish to bring more children into this chaos, but they make all of this worth living for. naturally, she wants jamie and hope to know a better, safer world, but she doubts the times they experienced as children would ever return. this is how they live now and it is useless to put their lives on hold hoping for a change that will never come.

"i am glad he is still easily satisfied by what food i give him. hope on the other hand...", her words trail off and she huffs a laugh. the four year old has recently grown very picky with food and eating is a daily struggle in this household. the girl takes three bites out of every meal and decides she is no longer hungry, then proceeds to demand twenty snacks throughout the day. but wanda assumes that this is just a phase all children go through eventually and it'll fade. sitting back down in the armchair, she reaches out and runs a hand through beck's messy hair, fingertips tracing some specks of blood on his cheek. and once again her heart aches with love, for him, for the beautiful little boy they have made, for the life they have carved out for themselves against all odds. she knows he was trying to protect all of this when he went out and she cannot fault him for it.

that doesn't change the fact that she is worried sick and upset, but it's not his fault. "i'm not angry with you", she says quietly, as if she needs to say it out loud to believe it and remember that her anger comes from fear and hurt. too much has happened lately in their lives, too many losses have followed her through the years and as much as she loves his protectiveness of his family, it put him in danger and he could have died out there. this is how wanda has lost her first love and though it is not beck's fault this trauma still clings to her, he has an uncanny habit of bringing it back to the surface. "i'm just worried." her eyes fill with tears and she averts her gaze, leaning back in the chair so she has to stare at the fireplace instead and reign in her emotions.

&& there it is again . I don't need your help . His heart falls a little further , can't help but feeling even MORE that he's being punished for what's happened . Tomorrow maybe , when he wakes, he'll realise that she was just being the sensible one . But right here && now as he sits on the sofa he feels as though he's drifting away - being given a little SHOVE on his raft so that the distance between him && his family grows .

For a moment he wants to argue , but instead he dips his chin && holds his response down - LOCKING it away behind his ribs where it can't do any damage.

Had he ever been of use ? Had he always been this useless, causing issues ? Was all of this the blood loss && DELIRIUM talking ?

It must be because suddenly Wanda has come across to plant his baby boy on his chest . Jamie is a bundle of warmth , his limbs immediately pulling inward to make himself a little scrunched ball on his chest . Beck's hand lands on his back , feels it raise && fall - feels the THRUM of his tiny little heart . His chest aches with love .

He's quiet until Wanda leaves && then he makes a humming noise , palm shifting upward to be replaced with his other . The one that had been at the base of his back now brushing thumb over his soft little head .

❝ made a mess , didn't I , little Bee . ❞ he whispers . He's taken to calling him that , but only when they're alone . Scared perhaps that the nickname will IRK his partner . ❝ just wanted to keep you safe , you && your sister && mummy . ❞ He swallows . Opens his mouth to continue but shuts it again when he hears Wanda's delicate steps on the stairs.

Head leans to watch her come round the corner , MORE guilt settling as she gets him ready for bed .

❝ he's almost - ❞ He gives Wanda a soft look . ❝ he said thank you for the yummy dinner before he dozed . ❞

[mxndwitch]

she can feel jamie nestle his little face into the crook of her neck and wanda briefly closes her eyes, enjoying the small moment, before her attention returns to beck. "i don't need help with anything, beck. i want you to heal properly, because you're of no use to us dead", she tells him, shaking her head slightly. he is supposed to rest and recover, not force himself to be helpful around the house immediately just because he feels guilty for what happened. even someone without his condition would not bounce back immediately and wanda doesn't expect him to either.

rising from where she has been sitting, she carefully takes jamie from her shoulder and lays him down on beck's chest, where he fusses for a short moment, then settles, evidently sleepy and well fed. "i'll go upstairs and get you some things", wanda tells him quietly and wanders up to their bedroom to grab his blanket and pillow, so that he can be more comfortable on the sofa. it's not the nicest place to sleep and she knows he'd much rather be in his own bed, but getting him up the stairs tonight will be unnecessarily dangerous and painful. he still looks dreadfully pale and wanda doesn't want him to pass out half way up the stairs.

with the things in tow she sneaks back downstairs, trying her best to be quiet, because the last thing they need now is hope waking up. that girl can sleep through the apocalypse, but has a penchant for waking up every time she is not supposed to. luckily nothing stirs in her room and so wanda makes it back to the living room without rousing the little monster. back with beck, she carefully drapes the blanket over him, then unties his shoes and takes them off. even though their world has gone to waste years ago, she does like to keep the house somewhat clean, so no shoes allowed on the sofa. "is he asleep?", she asks quietly, nodding towards their tiny son, who seems to have dozed off. wanda places the pillow on the armchair for now, because she doesn't want to make beck sit up until jamie isn't asleep deeper, or he'll wake again.

He hates this . He hates it so much that there's a pain starting to BLOOM in the back of his head . Made uncomfortable by the knowledge that this isn't THEM... this isn't their relationship. They used to be light && warmth && giggles in the dimming light of evening . Tonight they felt strained && Beck was instantly worrying that maybe that was it now , that he'd done something so wrong that he'd broken them completely.

He sits so still , watching them . His family . He wonders whether maybe he'd PUSHED to much at fate , asked for too much . There was no way that somebody like him deserved Wanda, deserved Hope && her sweet little heart . There's no way he deserved this little baby boy .

❝ oh ❞ he has to work to hide his disappointment . He knows that he's not being punished , knows that she only has his best interests at heart , but still the idea of sleeping down here by himself on the sofa felt like a RELEGATION of some sort && it stung . ❝ Yeah - yeah . ❞

There's a pause , a moment of silence that spans what feels like the entire world && he tries to shift himself around to a more comfortable position . He grunts , lifts one of his legs up onto the sofa to stretch out a little more .

❝ I'm sure I'm just exhausted , I'll feel better in the morning && I can help you with anything that needs to be done around here . ❞

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Who's afraid of little old me is Wanda's song and you cannot convince me otherwise

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she INHALES and EXHALES, trying to focus on that to regain her composure, something she has done for two weeks repeatedly now, whenever hope is around and she cannot let her grief and depression get to her. the little four year old definitely still runs the house and has everyone wrapped around her little finger, but she has felt the change as well. even though wanda has tried her absolute best to be there for her whenever she needs her, it's impossible to be present every minute of the day, while juggling a newborn and grieving the loss of matilda. it feels like she's being torn in ten different directions and slowly ripping at the seams, but she's trying anyway. some days are easier than others.

looking up from jamie, her gaze lingers on beck for a moment as he asks her questions, emerald hues scanning the paleness of his face and the dark circles blooming under blue eyes. he looks terrible, but she tries not to let that sink in too deeply. once the knowledge penetrates her skin, it will fester like an infected wound, causing her to fret and her mind to produce the worst scenarios it can come up with. inhale, exhale, focus on something else. "no, not really. we haven't been outside much. two of the chickens died, though, but hope hasn't noticed yet. i'm trusting in the fact that four year olds can't count very well", she tells beck, shifting jamie in her arm, because he is falling asleep.

she gently puts him against her shoulder to burp him, rubbing his tiny back and kissing the side of his head. everything is so stressful lately and overshadowed by too many negative feelings that she can't really enjoy the newborn stage. with hope she didn't either, because she was overwhelmed and mourning the lover she had lost, now she is once again juggling the joy of new motherhood with grief. it's not fair and she imagined this differently, but their world has gone to shit a long time ago, so it's not a big surprise that something like this happened. "i think it's best you sleep down here tonight. you need rest, above all and i don't want to drag you up the stairs tonight. the less you move, the more likely the stitches will hold."

Watching Wanda && his son in that chair is almost enough to make the rest of the world disappear . He sits there , so very still && watches - the same as always , his eyes filling with adoration . Swelling with it to a point that he fears it might overflow all together . He knows that he's hurt her these past few days , he knows that he CONTINUES to hurt her && he wishes that he was better at all of this && that he didn't keep bringing that expression onto her face.

He was home . They were safe . He had to focus on that , on the fact that he'd even HAD someone like Wanda to look after him when he'd gotten back . He could have tried his best to sew himself up && maybe even done a half decent job , but his hands keep shaking && he probably would have passed out before he'd done the brunt of it .

❝ yeah , yeah . I know ❞ His breath as he exhales makes a huffing noise through his nose , trying to relax a little into his seat . Trying to at least look like he was going to be okay today , ease the burden on her shoulders .

He wants to cry , he wants to scream && tell her that they're probably coming . That they need to fortify their home or ..... or ... He wants to leap out of where he's sat && get to work . But he's treading a thin line with the woman that he loves right now .

❝ What did you get up to while I was gone ? ❞ A cheap , sad attempt at a smile && small talk . ❝ You && Hope catch any buggies out in the yard ? ❞

[mxndwitch]

Wanda has never been on the receiving end of an injury like this before, unlike her brother and parents. She is usually the one who patches up people and would have perhaps offered to do this herself, had she not been so out of it in that moment. Thinking feels like her brain is completely filled with a thick, dense fog and it is incredibly hard to even form a coherent thought. The pain she feels is blinding and dull at the same time, as if her conscience is trying to filter it out to help her cope, because everything else is already stressful on her body. Her face contorts when Harlow stuffs the wound with gauze to momentarily stop the bleeding, but she makes no sound.

Emerald eyes fix on blue ones when Beck speaks to her, but he is blurry and Wanda can't really focus on what he is saying. "Still don't know what the whole clicks thing means...", she mutters, eyes fluttering shut. What she is aware of, however, is the feeling of his hand around her own and it gives Wanda a sense of comfort. That is all she is aware of as she slips in and out of consciousness, only roused by bouts of intense pain, whenever Harlow does something to her wound, but even that fades away after a while and Wanda sinks into darkness, oblivious of everything that happens around and to her.

When she wakes, her body feels leaden and her mouth is so dry she can barely swallow. A thundering headache pierces her skull, which she knows is from dehydration and blood loss. But it only takes her a few moments to fully regain her senses and pry her eyes open, scanning the room she is in. Noises come from the hall outside and even though it's crammed in here, they somehow managed to give her a private room. Beck is with her, slumped in a chair close by, his hand still ( or again ) holding her own. Wanda gives it a squeeze to indicate that she is awake, secretly glad to find him here. It means he is unscathed and they will both be alright. "Hey. How long was I out?"

She's light , in the grand scheme of things . Light enough that he's not really worried about getting her to where they're going in one straight shot . But it's not the weight that burdens him . It's the idea of her passing out , of her losing too much blood . It's the EMOTIONAL toll of knowing somewhere deep down that if it were anyone else he wouldn't care this much . He'd seen people come && go , it was tough . There was no way that he was letting Wanda leave him .

Her apology sits in the back of his head as he carries her , gnawing away at him . It wasn't her that needed to say sorry . It was Beck's job to keep people safe . If he'd just done that job better , if he'd just been a little quicker .

Eventually he makes it to the makeshift base that his squad had set up. De Leon must still be out there , picking off who he could from the streets , but the person he needs is here && Harlow's face is shocked but focused as he questions Beck about what happened .

He snaps back , because he can barely THINK .

They work together to get Wanda laid down carefully on a cot, Jay having to push his way under Beck's arm to get a look at the wound on the young woman because the Sergeant simply can't bring himself to move away yet .

When Wanda's voice rasps into the air , Beck grasps for one of her hands , focused solely on her face . Watching his medic's hands pressing gauze down into the hole in her shoulder in his peripheral .

❝ old community centre ❞ he breathes , trying to give her a smile . ❝ few clicks away from the middle of town - ❞ He shoots Harlow a look , then turns his gaze back to her . ❝ We're gonna get you patched up , okay ? ❞