my-eyes-are-everywhere

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

I unno what to call this

This is also a jumbled mess of thoughts so I hope it makes sense to you guys.

How do I even start this?

I feel weird today. Everything feels wrong and that I'm honestly not supposed to be here. But where I'm supposed to be is far away and I don't know how to get there.

I woke up this morning feeling like everything's just wrong. Stuff isn't right here.

I'm not supposed to look like this at all.

I should be shorter than this. Like, child-height. My arms are too long now, my claws are gone, and my legs are weird. I unno if they're supposed to be short or long but I know they're not normal feet. They're claws too but it's hard to explain them cause I feel like I can't compare them to an animal's.

Maybe my legs are short with how I walk and long with how I run?

My ears are weird. They're supposed to be wings with a hole in them. But they're tiny. Tiny holes. And we can hear things and feel things with them. I don't have a nose but I have nostrils.

I'm not supposed to be able to see but I can. I could kind of see but they were moving shadows. And I had more than two eyes. I had four.

I remember looking really creepy but I wasn't. I was actually a sweetheart. All of us were but we had to be creepy looking to scare away the humans who would wander into the forest.

We weren't allowed to leave ever but sometimes at night we would sneak out of out territory and have fun in the surrounding forest area and if we got caught we would just say we were patrolling. It was kind of both actually when you really think about it.

We didn't really have names for each other. They were kinna more like… titles? Labels? Like… I was called Little One cause I was small, and our parents were just Mom and Dad. I think some of us took names of pretty flowers or animals we liked though.

We were a hivemind but also kind of individual at the same time because we could do whatever we wanted until a human was seen in the forest then we immediately all had to leave and go find them to scare them away together in a planned attack.

The sun would hurt our eyes so during the day we were really deep in the forest where the light couldn't touch us but we could stare at fire. It would look like a dark silhouette though, just like everything else really.

I was small but I wasn't supposed to be but I liked being small. Even though the others said I was defective.

Everyone looked the same but different at the same time and we had a Queen that we called Mother but we had a King too! His name was Father.

I have scales but I don't think I have a tail though.

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

Midsummer walks

Kalamazoo Nature Center, Michigan

Summer 2024

(This one was very "GET OFF THE ROAD! *ringwraith screech*)

linktree / instagram

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

Would it be weird to figure out a replacement god to serve if an angel falls?

What if I made one up to help?

One of my others has offered but I don't know... I don't want him to change how he is to help me out...

He says it's fine but, it'd be weird and I unno how that works.

How would that work even? Can you make your boyfriend your new god just to have someone to serve and fill the void swirling around in your mind?

Fucck why is this so hard?

Uggghhh I hate this so much!

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

I wonder if there's a way to help a fallen angel learn how to serve someone else...cause this feels harder and harder to figure out everytime I think bout it.

Someone... sees fallen angels are just... earthbound beings which yeah, i get it. I can see that. But like, then I kinna just wonder if I'm a different kind of angel? I unno what kind though... I still wanna serve someone but I unno how to or where to start or how I'd do that...

It's even harder cause I unno if I'm some form of Empty Spaces angel or... some kind of weird Otherkin... thing.

I dun even know if there's a difference between the two anymore.

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

This is your sign to make a keychain for your kintype!! 🐾🌲🤟

I made this little keychain that says “Wolfdog” for my saarloos wolfdog kintype, it was so fun to make, and it was raining really heavily outside when I made it. It was overall so species euphoric and so fun to create, and I highly highly recommend making your own. When you do, reblog this post with a picture!! I’d love to see it!!! ^^

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

Plural Questionnaire

At first, we were going to do this but I managed to convince Harphinia. ~Asahina

1. What do you go by collectively? *(a system name, a shared username, group pronouns... etc)*

We go by The Bubble System

2. How should people refer to you? *(should people address individual members whenever possible, or would you rather be referred to collectively, etc)*

Everyone prefers to be addressed by their individual names.

3. What terms do you prefer for referring to yourselves as individuals *(headmate/alter/system member/...)*, or as a group *(system/collective/household/...)*? Is there any other terminology for yourselves or aspects of your experience that you use and want people to know, or that you dislike and want people to avoid when talking about you?

As individuals we’re all just people, alters, headmates, others, or voices. As a group we’re sometimes referred to as a hivemind or just a system.

We haven’t run into any terms we don’t like quite yet.

4. Who in your system are people most likely to interact with? *(names, pronouns, short Twitter-esque bios, etc)*

There’s Asahina who goes by he/him or they/them but prefers he/him. He also doesn’t mind being called Hina but he prefers that people he trusts call him that. He’s gone from mediator to my protector and doesn’t mind others calling him that. 

Desdemona who just goes by Demona who’s pronouns are she/her. She’s kind of my guardian demon mostly. She watches over me and stuff! 

Andrew who’s pronouns are he/him. He’s also a type of guardian for me. He’s my Alpha! He’s not around much but at the same time he kinna is? He comes and goes from my inner world to his inner world for work everyday but he always comes back or stays in the headspace if I need him. He mainly also watches Asahina too. XS

Avery who’s pronouns are she/her. Avery’s kinnaa I guess she’s a part of my little side but not really? She’s kind of complicated cause me being little is completely separate from her being little.

Galatea who’s pronouns as she/her. She’s my other half of being a dollkin that I kinna had to create to do stuff online.

Belladonna who prefers that people just call her Bella or Madam, or Ma’am, or Mistress but you have to be a subby boy she owns to even dream of allowing anyone to call her Mistress. Her pronouns are she/her. She says she’s a Victorian madam but that’s changed to her possibly being a Victorian vampire but she’s honestly not sure. She’s a Dominatrix kind of but prefers to simply be called a Domme. 

5. Will people be interacting with any child members? How should they treat them? Is there anything they should know when interacting with them?

Well there’s Avery but she doesn’t show up very often. I would prefer people treat her like an 8 year old. She acts kind of like a teenager but not always. Not anymore anyway… also just be very patient with her. She’s really hyper and can be very loud when she talks. Never, ever, try to scold her. She will turn on you real quick and start acting like a rebellious child because she’ll see you as an authority figure and she doesn’t like them so in that case it would be in your best interest to ask Asahina to come get her if he didn’t already. 

If she’s being too loud just ask her not to scream and she’ll tone it down as best she can unless she thinks your tone is more commanding then asking. She kind of understands some tone indicators but not all of them so if you try to use them to show your tone you may have to explain what they mean.

6. Are there any system members who are nonverbal or otherwise have difficulty communicating? What should others expect when speaking with them? *(having other system members translate, can speak normally over text but will need accommodation over voice, etc)*

Well actually, hmm… I don’t really know if it’s difficulty communicating but Avery has this… verbal thing where she kind of talks like a younger kid? Like she says brover, instead of brother, she also has a habit of stretching out her words like, she says HIIIIIIIIIIIII. She also likes to use emojis sometimes for certain things like emotions but that’s it.

7. What should people do if they don't know who's at front?

Ask who it is. Always ask, never assume. But they’ll most likely introduce themselves if they remember.

8. Is it okay for people to ask if they can talk to someone who isn't at front at the moment?

As long as they actually have something to talk or ask about then yes. Otherwise, no. 

9. If someone talks to one of you, will other system members be aware of the conversation? Will they be actively watching, or just able to remember it later?

The others will always be aware and watching unless they’re doing something themselves and they think it’s not important or any of their business.

10. Adding onto the above - if multiple system members will be aware of a conversation, will they want to chime in? If someone wants to speak to a system member one-on-one, what expectations can they have and how should they communicate this? *(for example, it may not be possible to block everyone out but they can try to pay attention to something else and not interrupt)*   

They’ll most likely wanna chime in if it’s something they’re interested in. If someone wants to talk to someone one-on-one the others won’t interrupt if it’s private. Just mention you wanna talk to the person privately and the others will just ignore it and go about their business doing their own thing. They won’t listen in or anything.

11. How out are you? What should people do when talking to people who don't know you're plural? *(do you have a "singletsona" name and pronouns they should use; can they talk about knowing someone who's plural in nonspecific terms, without naming you; etc)*

Uhhm, I’m only out to like a certain number of specific friends online but not in real life. If someone wants to talk to people who don’t know I’m plural they can I don’t know… use my online name or something. I always go by she/her but in that scenario I would prefer people just use they/them so it can be as vague as possible.

12. Do you have any internal communication difficulties, memory issues, switch triggers, etc that others should be mindful of?

I forget things a lot when someone just suddenly switches and takes over. I don’t really have any internal communication issues. 

13. Your stance on being asked questions? *(about personal experience, preferences, plurality in general, etc)*

I don’t mind them. I’ll try to answer them to the best of my abilities honestly.

14. Is there anything else others should know?

Mmmm, not that I can think of.

15. If you have a FAQ or system site, feel free to link it here.

N/A

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

What's a Hollow?

I was told to come here and explain what a Hollow is so everyone can understand the latest post that was created.

The simplest way I can explain what a Hollow is without going into too much detail is that, they're mimics who don't have their own identity so they take and use someone else's to act in a way that isn't normally how they act. That isn't normally their true nature.

For example, a mimic can normally be shy and quiet but once they take on this new "identity" their personality changes to outgoing and curious.

Or, they normally appear as a cat but suddenly look like a dog yet their cat form still remains regardless of what they look like currently. It's complicated but that's the easiest way I can explain that will make at least a bit of sense.

By the way, it's not the Hollows from Bleach. They're nothing like those things.

~Asahina

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

Japan by Daniel Kordan

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

Being a Hollow

A few weeks ago, one of my others figured out that I may be something else as well as a doll called a Hollow. That doesn't really bother me, what annoys me is that I can't figure out how I look in that form. Well, I couldn't.

At the moment I kind of might have an idea? But it feels kind of hard to describe and I still kinna don't know if it's right or not cause it feels like there's still a bit missing.

But at the moment I can kinna tell what I have. I have fin ears for sure, and I don't have eyes, kind of. I unno if they're just sockets or if they're just fully solid because there's apparently color in them. I just dunno what colors. I also think I have more than one pair, I think i have two but at the time I wonder if that's just wishful thinking.

I have two arms and legs but my hands and feet aren't normal, they're like big alien fingers with claws on them and they sound heavy when I run but soft when I walk. I have a mouth but it's hidden in my skin to make me seem mouthless, I think. Maybe that's wishful thinking too. But it kind of feels right? I also have really sharp teeth. Like a whole row of sharp teeth.

I don't have any horns and my tail is weird. Like it's thick and tapered like a dragon's I guess? But no scales or anything on them. I can't physically talk but I can talk mentally. Like... through telepathy and stuff.

I may also have illusion abilities but I dunno, maybe I give people hallucinations instead?

I also like to haunt people. Haunting is like hunting but I don't really hurt them, I just like to scare them to until they run away and maybe I'll bite them. I unno if I'd kill them. I don't think so... anyway. I'm not really sure... it doesn't feel like I would...

I also think I can somehow blend in with my environment and I live in the forest or woods somewhere.

There might be other stuff but I can't remember anything else right now.

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

Uggggh I've been in a really weird mood for two days! I feel all weirder than normal and I don't know what to do with myself. T^T My brain is screaming cryptid and jackalope but I unno for sure.

Maybe? Probably? It could be? I have no idea. I never really felt like this before. I feel all spooky and mysterious and stuff. Maybe a little creepy and a bit playful too!

I just feel so creature right now!

[my-eyes-are-everywhere]

Introduction

Hello everyone! I decided to make an alterhuman blog here too. You can call me Harphinia. I don't know how often I'm gonna use this blog but I really wanted somewhere to just... ramble without constantly having to log into dreamwidth if I'm in a weird mood.

My dreamwidth is called memory_of_lightwaves if you'd like to check it out. I'm also plural and doll-being. A ball-jointed doll to be exact.