my-minis-and-me

[my-minis-and-me]

Incredibly Helpful Charts For New Parents

[my-minis-and-me]

I really want to be a “good mom”. I love my kids and I’m trying every day to be patient with my daughter even if she’s yelling at me and tests limits. But to be honest... this doesn’t work every day. There are days when I’m screaming too. And I’m feeling very bad about that. Because yelling is always a form of violence. After such a day I always have to think about Adam Parish and his situation and feelings. I never want this for my kids. Thank you @maggie-stiefvater. Your books make me actually think a lot about how to raise my kids: What they need to feel save and secure so that they can be able to love them self.

Sorry for my shitty English 😅

And thank you for the inspiration.

the raven king countdown → day six

Most heartbreaking moment Such a damaged thing

I think the most heartbreaking Raven Cycle moment is in The Raven King (though it is not the one you think it is), but I actually think this Adam moment in The Dream Thieves comes in close second. He’s already had to endure quite a few heartbreaking events, such as losing his hearing and his family home and stability in quick succession, but the worst moments to write for him were actually not events but thoughts.

I know too many people stuck in this place: they’ve removed the cause of their trauma, but they haven’t realized that they are still actively traumatized. In DT, Adam academically knows the consequences of long-term child abuse, but he hasn’t yet realized the portability of his abuse. It doesn’t matter that his father isn’t living in the room next to him. He’s living in Adam’s head, and that sort of life — freed from physical reality and set free in a world of damaged thoughts — is lasting and insidious. For Adam to admit that he’s been broken by abuse is a powerful step towards moving on, but in DT, he’s still too far in it to realize that his clinical analysis of his own worthlessness is not clinical at all.

Money, a car, a home that looks nothing like the one he grew up in. Someone to want him. Adam thinks all of these things — any of these things — will make him happy. And it’s true that they’re things that would make his life easier or different. But DT Adam doesn’t realize that he could get every single thing in that list and still not be ok. He can’t work his ass off at Aglionby to magically make himself feel like he’s worth something. He can’t annex the entirety of Virginia to his father’s memory to be free of pain outside the state lines. Being wanted by Blue Sargent or crushed on by Ronan Lynch is not going to make Adam love himself any more.

I admit freely that I don’t really know if these scenes are heartbreaking to anyone else. As a writer, I bring my own baggage, and for me, much of the agony of Adam in this part of his journey is knowing people who have never gotten any further than he does in this part of the series. 

[my-minis-and-me]

A simple reminder.

[my-minis-and-me]

Nette Geschenkidee zu Ostern: Man nehme eine Tafel Schokolade, packe sie in braunes Papier, klebe zwei Ohren dran und male ein süßes Hasengesicht darauf.

[my-minis-and-me]

“A moment of patience in a moment of anger prevents a thousand moments of regret.”

— Ali Ibn Abu Talib

[my-minis-and-me]

What is it like to have a child?

I spend a lot of time re-remembering how much little things can make someone happy. Taking him out to stomp on the ice on the driveway and feel it crack under our boots, pushing him high on a swing till he laughs. Making fart noises with him in the car if he’s bored, showing him how to stir bread. It helps me be happier too.

I’m tired a lot. He wakes up at night if he has a cold, or a bad dream, and asks for me. He doesn’t sleep in, ever, so I don’t get to sleep in very often either. I take a nap when he does.

I’m more confident now. I’ve learned how to say “no” like I mean it and expect to be obeyed, to say “you can’t hit me” calmly and put him in his bed and walk away if he keeps on. I’ve learned that if I say “please” and “thank you” to him and ask “Are you okay?” and offer him kisses when he’s sad, he does the same for me. He learns by watching me.

I’ve learned I lose my temper more easily than I realized. I’ve had to practice patience.

I get to go with him to places I enjoy and enjoy them more because he’s so excited by the zoo, or the mall, or the park, or the smoothie place. The more I take him out, the better we both are at doing it together. But I can’t skip meals and naps with him so it’s taught me to be aware of when we need a break.

I also have to get a sitter a few times a week, and take him to play dates and classes, so I can go places by myself–if I’m the only one responsible for him all the time I get crazy and so does he. We both need other people to talk to.

I’ve found out sometimes I need expert help. As a mom I want to believe I’ll always notice when he needs help and always be able to give it, but it turns out sometimes doctors and teachers notice things I miss, and I need their help to help him. I have to be humble enough to listen.

I still like all the things I did before, stupid shows and great movies and reading and writing and going out with friends. But now I have to prioritize which ones I want to do most, because I have less free time. In some ways I enjoy them more, though, because they’re a carefully-rationed treasure instead of something I can do mindlessly for hours.

I miss the freedom of being responsible for only myself. I don’t regret being limited, now, though. It’s a choice I made so I could do this, being a mom, and I’m glad I got to do it.

[my-minis-and-me]

I love kids they’re all like.. “when i grow up i’m gonna be an astronaut and a chef and a doctor and an olympic swimmer” like that self confidence! That drive! That optimism! Where does it go

[my-minis-and-me]

Heute hat meine große Maus das erste Mal Ostereier bemalt. Mit dieser tollen Halterung hat das super geklappt. Es hat ihr riesigen Spaß gemacht. Sie saß eine Stunde lang hoch konzentriert am Tisch und hat gemalt. 👏🏻Jedes Ei hat bestimmt 5-8 Farbschichten bekommen 😅

[my-minis-and-me]

It’s all about how we talk to our kids

[my-minis-and-me]

Wir haben vor ein paar Wochen mit unserem Jahreszeitentisch begonnen. Er ist noch etwas karg. Das wird sich aber bald weiter entwickeln. Ich möchte das ganze Regal auf dem er steht immer unter ein Motto stellen. Im März fangen wir mit Ostern / Frühling an. Ich bin gespannt wie es wird. Meine Große liebt gerade alles was mit Jahreszeiten zu tun hat. Es wird bestimmt toll Frühlingsfundstücke zu sammeln.

[my-minis-and-me]

Bald heißt es Ade 👋 lieber Winter an unserem Jahreszeitenfenster

[my-minis-and-me]

Can’t stop laughing

[my-minis-and-me]

Number 3! this ones dedicated to the feeling of having people you can lean on, to persevering together, to mutual appreciation and found families.<3

[my-minis-and-me]

Heute Fingerfarben mal mit Wattestäbchen. Das ist eher für filigranere Arbeiten. Macht aber auch Spaß 😁

[my-minis-and-me]

I’ll respect your opinion as long as your opinion doesn’t disrespect anybody’s existence.

[my-minis-and-me]

Zwei Tage Schnee. Das Ergebnis zwei Schneemänner. Der erste ganz klassisch mit Karotte, Besen und Knöpfen. Der zweite mit Mooshaaren und einem alten Böller als Nase. Was man so alles im Garten findet 😂 Das nenne ich mal Land Art Meine Tochter ist total begeistert von unseren Schneemännern. Sie kontrolliert jeden Tag ob sie nicht weggelaufen sind.

[my-minis-and-me]

Fingerfarben mal anders: Ich habe diese Idee auf Pinterest gesehen und musste sie sofort umsetzen.

Die Idee ist simpel aber total schön:

Fingerfarben,

Muffinformen,

Wattebäusche und

Wäscheklammern.

Diese Dinge haben wirklich Aufforderungscharakter.

Ich musste meiner Großen(2 ½) nichts erklären. Sie hat einfach losgelegt. Zunächst tupfte sie einfach darauf los. Beim nächsten Bild benutze sie dann die Wäscheklammern mit Wattebäuschchen als Pinsel. Das war total klasse und es sind wunderschön Bilder dabei herausgekommen.