mychemicalprops

[mychemicalprops]

my take on the whole illi mcmillin situation. all love.

citations & script below:

The Yassification of "illi McMillin"

This cute little fella is named William McMillin, or illi for short1. He worked as a prop designer on the music video for "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" by My Chemical Romance2,3. Last month, to coincide with their announcement to re-release of their second album, the band released a remastered version of the songs music video4,5. The improved resolution allowed people to see many details that were heretofore illegible, like the fact that the name on Gerard’s failed science test was written "illi McMillin." 

The fandom was extremely normal about this and immediately adopted "illi" as the unofficial name of Gerard's character in the music video, and in a very tumblr ass move, decided to head canon illi as a trans woman. This renewed attention to the video sparked an ongoing wave of fanart, fanfiction, and fan discourse. Given MCR's storied history with the queer community and Gerard's established indifference to people using him for various…creative outlets6, 7, the yassification of illi McMillin was not at all a surprising or even unwelcome development. I mean look at this great fanart!

That being said, there’s aspects of the fandom’s reaction to this that I find invasive and potentially harmful.

For one it feels kinda shitty that the real life illi McMillin has had his name used in this way. I know that’s an inevitable byproduct of being a person on the Internet, but there's something scary about the ways in which various aspects of ourselves can become a part of the public domain and get transformed in ways we cannot and do not sanction.

Secondly, it's hard to separate people's very passionate assertion that Gerard was definitely playing a trans woman in this video from the fandom's unhealthy obsession with Gerard's sexuality and gender identity, especially since his crossdressing during the reunion tour8. 

Gerard has talked openly about his relationship with gender, but has been consistently reluctant to explicitly categorize himself, which has caused confusion, anger, and a lot of assumptions to be made about how everyone's favorite emo babygirl identifies9, 10. Frankly, Gerard's gender identity is none of our business, and it's irrelevant to his status as a queer ally and extremely talented artist. We should respect people’s unwillingness to define themselves as much as we respect their decision to redefine themselves. To not do so, to unironically force a label on Gerard, even a queer one, is a conscious rejection of his own sentiments and agency. Maybe that's not always a bad thing, but it sure does give me the ick, sometimes.

The hububb around "illi" seems like yet another way in which people's desire to take ownership over Gerard's identity has manifested. A similar situation occurred with Gerard's Party Poison persona, with many holding the misconception that the character is canonically nonbinary even though this is not indicated in any of the songs, the comics, or Gerard's own statements11-15. You can have whatever headcanon you want, just don't act as though they're official because all that does is lead to wild misinformation about the original work. Yes, the author is dead but don't parade their corpse like a marionette and act as though you can spout your own opinions through them. Corpses are people, too, you know. 

I don’t want to disparage people who have been having fun interpreting "illi" as transfemme because that’s really just a manifestation of their desire to see themselves in the art they love, and that's completely valid. In the current political climate, there's a much greater need for queer (and specifically trans) visibility in all spaces, but let's not turn that desire into a justification for ignoring or overwriting people's identities. 

I have a lot more to say about the ways in which queerness is forced to interact with heteronormative society in ways that are often reductive, but that is a conversation for another day. For now, my friends, have fun, be gay, be queer and be nice to each other.

Citations:

Music:

midnight burger joint - louie zong

bodega on the corner - louie zong

witch (unreleased) - my chemical romance

William "illi" McMillin:

1 - William McMillin (illiart). (May, 2025). "💛" Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DJLJZyPN2vJ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 

2 - @mychemicalprops. (April, 2025). the discovery of illi McMillin. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/mychemicalprops/780868882564022272/i-feel-like-i-should-let-you-all-know-that-william?source=share 

3 - @frankieroloml. (April, 2025). the discovery of illi McMillin pt.2. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/frankieroloml/781210724511989760/hi-ive-never-used-tumblr-before-but-i-made-an?source=share 

4 - My Chemical Romance. (February, 2010; Updated c. April 2025). My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay (I Promise) [Official Music Video - 4K Film Restored]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/dhZTNgAs4Fc 

5 - My Chemical Romance. My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge (Deluxe Edition Unboxing). YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6NNwbFMEeU&ab_channel=MyChemicalRomance 

Relevant Gerard Tweets & Comments:

6 - Gerard Way. (April, 2016). "Some people are saying that my new identity reminds them of a fanfic. I'm ok with that. I made peace with fanfic long ago." Twitter / X. https://x.com/gerardway/status/725081637092872192 

7 - Gerard Way. (April, 2016). "Enjoy your fic. Write one about me in a human centipede with escape the fate. idgaf." https://x.com/gerardway/status/725081957730635776 

8 - James Factora. (October, 2022). Gerard Way in a Cheerleader Outfit Hoisting a Flamethrower Is an Immaculate Vibe | Them. Them. https://www.them.us/story/gerard-way-cheerleader-flamethrower-my-chemical-romance 

9 - Gerard Way. (2014). "Wow! I'm so glad that helped in figuring out your gender identity…" Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2i1840/comment/ckxxnb7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button 

10 - Gerard Way. (April, 2015). "when people want to define your sexuality." https://x.com/gerardway/status/592480071216189441?lang=en 

Party Poison Non-Binary Misconception: 

11 - Tree the Silly. (August, 2024). "This person canonically uses they/them pronouns and is gender neutral. Just give up on enforcing your stupid unkind beliefs and let this page be accurate." Fandom.  https://danger-days.fandom.com/wiki/Party_Poison?commentId=4400000000000055229 

12 - LunarGateway. (February, 2022). "Party Poison is canonically gender neutral and uses they/them. Y'all need to update this page or someone else is gonna make a whole new one that isn't garbage lmao That is, if they haven't already, but I'm pretty sure they have." Fandom.

13 - Killjoy History Archive. (Retrieved May 2025). Common Misconceptions About Danger Days. tumblr. https://killjoyhistoryarchive.tumblr.com/misconceptions 

14 - Gerard Way. (April, 2015). "Been seeing people refer to the character 'Party Poison' as non-binary.I find this interesting- is this drawn from their gender expression?" https://x.com/gerardway/status/590960413006663681 

15 - Gerard Way. (April, 2015). "It seems to be people's interperetation [sic] of the character, not mine specifically. I'm just curious about it." https://x.com/gerardway/status/590960881132900352 

Posts Referenced / Included:

illi Trans Girl Fanart:

@fourbt. (April, 2025). Goings on About Town illi. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/fourbt/781074360951799808?source=share 

@cherry-fucking-venom. (April, 2025). the silly. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/cherry-fucking-venom/781356314447298560/doodled-the-silly?source=share 

@kiataika. (April, 2025). blood stained illi. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/kiataika/781167494343819264/shes-back?source=share 

@umberpinki. (April, 2025). coolest girl. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/umberpinki/780910754678325248/coolest-girl-a-loser-actually?source=share 

@brainfreeze27. (April, 2025). master of the wicket. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/brainfreeze27/781194531730227200/birdgee-fanart-birdgee-fanart-prints?source=share 

@mercining. (April, 2025). illi & frank. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/mercining/780929345939243008?source=share 

@cordspaghetti. (April, 2025). "sending illi & friends to the Big Dance…!!!"  https://www.tumblr.com/cordspaghetti/782285005341835264/sending-illi-friends-to-the-big-dance?source=share  

@the-ria. (May, 2025). miku, illi, & ray. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/the-ria/782451064330911744/i-cant-believe-that-it-took-us-20-years-and-a-4k?source=share 

illi-Related Gay Panic:

@raryrardshipper. (April, 2025). "I just found out that HER name is illi mcmillin SHES A TEENAGE GIRL." tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/rayrardshipper/780740781905510400/i-just-found-out-that-her-name-is-illi-mcmillin?source=share 

@goremipsum. (April, 2025). "i love illi mcmillin. she's a girl. she's a boy…" https://www.tumblr.com/goremipsum/781076625616928768/i-love-illi-mcmillin-shes-a-girl-shes-a-boy?source=share 

@pissworm39. (April, 2025). "the mcr fandom is so funny to me. cuz what do you mean that in the span of 3 days we all just created an oc based off a 20 year old music video upon finding out the name of a singular character" tumblr. https://pissworm39.tumblr.com/post/780793042944819200/the-mcr-fandom-is-so-funny-to-me-cuz-what-do-you 

@lichencoatedboulder. (April, 2025). transfem / transmasc. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/lichencoatedboulder/781020931753689088/i-love-seeing-people-call-illi-mcmillin-both 

@br1ng-out-th3-old-gu1llot1ne. (April, 2025). "illi mcmillin is truly a unique character..." tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/br1ng-out-th3-old-gu1llot1ne/781072607357386752/illi-mcmillin-is-truly-a-unique-character-a 

@zizzle2727. (May, 2025). genderbent. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/zizzle2727/782632885210447872/shoutout-to-illi-mcmillan-for-making-me-feel 

@corpsephrog. (April, 2025). R.I.P illi. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/corpsephrog/781124887322460160/rest-in-peace-illi-mcmillin-you-would-have-loved 

@lolomustdie. (April, 2025). feels illegal. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/demolition-widow/780757036239667200/it-actually-feels-illegal-to-call-illi-by-hehim 

@micmustdie. (April, 2025). the illi situation. Twitter / X. https://x.com/micmustdie/status/1912980682810515720 

@ashbeanss. (April, 2025). interpretation. tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/ashbeanss/780751418452836352/is-this-the-right-time-to-say-that-i-think-illi-as?source=share 

[mychemicalprops]

"Opera." Teaser video

"His Grand Immortal Dictator" is wearing Black Ray-Ban RB8265 Jack II Titanium (color: 3141K8 black/polar dark grey) with the branding removed

[mychemicalprops]

My Chemical Romance - "Long Live": The Black Parade North American Tour

In the tour announcement video our furry new friend is wearing DOK brand "TigerToes" Premium Non-Slip Dog Socks.

Thanks to the 4k video we're able to zoom in and see little details like these dog socks

We can tell that these are tigertoes due to the unique pattern on the grips

[mychemicalprops]

I love this blog and I CANNOT wait for the other 4K videos to cone out

Thank you, that actually means a lot to me!

[mychemicalprops]

Thanks?

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

In the laboratory scene Frank is wearing TYR Kids' Foam Goggles (Style: LGY clear/black)

We know that these are the kids model due to the strap design, and the circular shape of the lenses.

Also he's wearing them upside down.

[mychemicalprops]

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

In the laboratory scene Frank is wearing TYR Kids' Foam Goggles (Style: LGY clear/black)

We know that these are the kids model due to the strap design, and the circular shape of the lenses.

Also he's wearing them upside down.

[mychemicalprops]

Great job with the identification! It's a model 3700 Thermos.

We can see in the close-up and wide shot that Gerard/illi is using the same kind of Thermos. I couldn't find Gerard's cup in any of the shots, but it's probably safe to assume that it matches the red Thermos brand lunchbox.

ok but what the actual fuck was he drinking here in that weird ass cup?

does anyone know???

[mychemicalprops]

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) music video

Mikey's cassette player is a TU-502

It was one of the harder props to identify, partly due to the fact that it was sold under multiple brand names, including Unisef, Federal and Spearsonic.

[mychemicalprops]

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) music video

The globe in the library is a political globe manufactured by the George F. Cram Company

It's difficult to find an exact model or manufacturing date without seeing more details, but I was able to find examples of this style and color combination from the 1960s through the late 80s.

[mychemicalprops]

I knew that my previous post wouldn't be received well by everyone, I think that's apparent by the fact that I made a whole new blog just to post it. But nevertheless, I still wanted to bring this cool fact to the community I love, because I knew I wouldn't be the only person who thought it was interesting.

What I didn't expect is for so many people to take this information as an attack on the trans community, so this time I'm going to be clear.

saying "I think it's cute that everyone is running with it, and excited about that detail. Carry on!" was me expressing my support for the new head-cannon, and the beautiful art coming out of it. As a fellow artist, and trans person myself, I think it's great that so many people found inspiration in this detail. I'm NOT trying to stop you from making art, or stories, and I'm certainly not trying to take away your inspiration.

I also want to be clear that THIS post is not an attack on anyone. If you feel like I've called you out or I'm attacking you, please take a moment to breathe, and think about why you feel that way. I'm here as a fellow fan, I want to inspire people and be inspired by the amazing musicians that touched all of our lives, I'm not looking to drag anyone down.

P.S. If anyone is still has any doubts @frankieroloml messaged Mr. McMillin who confirmed that he DID in fact work on the video and make those props.

P.P.S. while at first I was going to let this blog die, I've instead decided to rebrand into a props breakdown blog for the MCR videos if anyone is interested.

[mychemicalprops]

I feel like I should let you all know that William "illi" McMillin worked on props for the I'm not okay music video. It's not uncommon for prop makers to add their names to props like this.

You can also spot Jason Fijal'a name in the Nanana music video

All that being said I think it's cute that everyone is running with it, and excited about that detail. Carry on!