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I feel that if I don’t repost this somewhere every year at some point, I’m living my life incorrectly.

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Fucking hell, he’s still going? He was posting shit like this on a smaller, newer writers story over a year ago. And when I posted a review calling him out and supporting the writer, he PM’d me, telling me to “eat shit and die”. He’s either a really bad troll, or a fucking sociopath.

What the actual FUCK is this. Why the fuck did I wake up to this and how the fuck can I find this dumbass worthless piece of shit so I can shove my foot so far up their ass they’ll choke on it.

I don’t know if this is just a personal troll but I am so beyond giving a shit at this point. I’m done.

Shit like this isn’t worth the anxiety attacks.

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Gift Of The Sea

A/N:  This is heavily overdue fic for @rivendell101! I lost a bet and had to write her a fic, and finally got a firm idea, so yay! 

Looking back this might honestly be a little inspired from H2O in an aspect, but other than that I just thought it would be fun to write! Love me some mermaid Natsu!

Mermaid!AU

Pairing: Nalu, Fairy tail

Words: 5993

Rating: T

Part: Oneshot

Natsu wasn’t stupid.

He knew he shouldn’t be doing what he was doing. He was very much aware of the danger he was not only putting himself in but also his pod. But goddamn if Natsu wasn’t a curious fucker.

His cousin’s words.

Natsu peeked above the rock outcrop he hid behind, watching the pier as he had found himself doing everyday for the past month. He rose himself higher, craning his neck to try and see the where the wood left the white sand beach. Natsu sunk back down into the water quickly when he noticed the light reflect off his scales, his tail rising with him in his eagerness. Like he said, Natsu wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t ready to make contact yet, and didn’t need his tail’s scales reflecting light and giving him away.

Excitement made his pulse pound in his ears when he finally saw her walk along the pier and towards the water. Natsu couldn’t help his grin as he caught her gentle hum over the sound of the water lapping at the rock in front of him, her voice light and airy and little off to his sensitive ears but not unpleasant. Her blonde hair was left loose this time, tumbling low on her back. Natsu liked how it glinted in the sun, like the treasure he hoarded beneath the water’s surface, but he really wanted to know how it looked flowing in the current so much more.

And this was the problem Natsu was facing. To approach or not to. She seemed weird, coming to the pier everyday but only standing at the edge of the dock until the sun set, not even dipping the tip of her leg into the water. But Natsu liked weird. Trusted it. Not to mention that she would feed the birds around her, bringing some sort of food to throw to the scavengers before leaving again.

Natsu partially wanted to thank her on behalf of them, if only to make them stop screaming at him to do so. Sometimes Natsu hated his Gift.

Ducking beneath the water Natsu swam forward, body deciding for him that today was the day he would speak to her. Natsu blinked in relief as the water washed over his eyes and skin, eyesight sharpening as he swam. Natsu stopped when he could touch the barnacle crusted pole of one of the pier’s supports. Seaweed grew around the base, Natsu wiggling his finger at a small guppy. The fish chased his digit, Natsu laughing soundlessly as he teased the smaller fish. He cupped it in his hand, barring his teeth when a larger fish the size of his body passed by, circles predatory as it eyed the small pod of guppies hiding in the weeds. Natsu nodded to himself when his threat display made the silver fish scurry away, deciding to look for a meal in a less hostile place.

Natsu laughed when the small fish headbutted his cheek in thanks before swimming back to his pod. Deciding the girl had had enough time to near the edge of the dock Natsu swam upwards, body close to the pole and tail curling along the soaked wood so that there was less chance of being seen.

Words his pod leader had said stopped him from breaking through the surface, Natsu just inches from the dry air and revealing himself and his kind to a human. If all we do is worry about following rules then our souls will never progress.

With a grin, Natsu breached the divide between air and sea.

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british summer is here.

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You have many of the abilities of a Disney princess. You can talk to animals, people burst into song around you, and it seems every other day a “Prince Charming” type falls madly in love with you. As one of the most feared mafia enforcers in New York, it’s tough, but you make it work.

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Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

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Not to burst your bubble, but a husband having a final say in EVERYTHING is a wife being controlled. It’s the same vice versa. May I also remind you that the Bible is from an age where women were property, and married off the breed. We don’t live in the dark ages anymore. Marriage has come a long way since then. It’s now a team effort. Both parties listen to each other, not one only doing what the other tells them.

Just because the Bible tells people that’s what they should be doing, doesn’t mean it’s not a controlling relationship.

A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won’t let him go and everyone will likely understand. But if a girl declines an invitation by saying her boyfriend won’t let her go, people will likely get concerned.

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Me: god I just want to get to my laptop and write Also me, 5 mins later:

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The Healing Touch

Summary: After losing everything, Lucy just wanted a quiet life, and who could be more quiet than the dead? It’s just a shame one of them had to wake up.

Words: 4217

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAPLE SYRUP COVERED SASS QUEEN @not-just-any-fangirl I hope you enjoy the first of you birthday gifts (which honestly just went off on its own) and that you have an amazing day filled with gifts and glitter and love!

There weren’t many options in life for an orphan. Sure, there was crime and other disreputable occupations, but Lucy wanted a quiet life. What meagre inheritance she’d received after paying off her late fathers debts had been enough for a few months’ rent of a one bedroom apartment, but food didn’t just magically place itself on her wobbly kitchen table. So, she set out to find a job. And quickly discovered that the most unappealing ones paid the most.

Thus is the short summary of how Lucy Heartfilia, once the heir to the most wealthy family in the city, descended from manor houses to a church basement. Cleaning corpses.

It was quiet work, just as she’d wanted. Deathly quiet. The only people she interacted with daily, was the priest, the man who brought in her charges, and dead people. The former exchanged only the most basic of pleasantries, but the latter were quite good listeners.

As this was the church of Lethe, goddess of forgotten souls, the people that found their way onto Lucy’s sterile workbench were most often orphans, beggars, and the elderly who had no remaining relatives of friends. Lucy’s job was to clean away the evidence of death, and dress them in the white garments of the deceased before they were taken away and buried in the coffin. The dead that found their way to the church of Lethe revived no ceremonious farewells, nor even a coffin. They received one gold coin to take with them into the next world- which was sometimes more riches than Lucy thought they’d ever during their lifetime- and the shortest of funeral rites before being sealed into the dirt.

Quiet work, but not the most fulfilling if she dwelt on it too much.

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Body Language

Honestly, nothing makes me more happier than Nalu. Is that bad? It’s bad, isn’t it. Please, enjoy! 

Words: 1405 Summary: Neither of them speak each other’s language, so all that’s left is their bodies to do the talking. 

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Advice for girls: buy skinny jeans in the boy’s section

They’re more comfortable, still form fitting, and best of all: THE POCKETS. THEY HAVE ACTUAL POCKETS.

don’t believe me? look:

these are boys pants, and they look just as good on me as any other skinny jeans I own

See that phone? I’m going to put it in the pocket. Must be so small right??

Ah yes, girl pants length. Probably can’t fit any further than that-

what? what’s this?

Good god. Oh good lord in heaven. This is blasphemous.

Look at how much room is still there. There’s chaos in the streets. Babies are crying. Fashion designers are screaming out of fear of the unknown.

Buy your pants in the boys section, girls. Live in the beautiful world you deserve where you can fit shit in your pocket.

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me as im writing something: wow this is actually coming out pretty good

me after reading it over:

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Homeless man interviewed by ‘ITV News’ recounts story of bravery during Manchester attack

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youve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for

times new ramen