mynairobi23

[mynairobi23]

Sometimes a messages like this from you made me think so many version of things 😞 Lord God help me 🙏

[mynairobi23]

HIM: I miss you at Mahal na mahal ko kayo

Me: Bruh!!! Just ************ 😭

[mynairobi23]

You're so funny!

Thanks! October 2023, my former bf for more than 4 years (live-in kami) started his college journey. We were so happy and full of dreams when he started his schooling. (Me, I was working from home since college graduate na ako.)

Until he met a new circle of friends and told me mag-EK raw sila ng mga friends niya. Gusto ko sumama, sabi niya bawal daw isama mga gf. Until I found out from his Google Photos that he’s flirting with this girl he just met in school. He was being sweet with this girl in that EK trip, then I also saw him watching that Julia Montes and Alden’s movie sa sinehan. When I asked him before about it kung bakit niya kasama yon, he said they watched it as a group at kasama niya daw mga kaibigan niya. He was going on a date with this girl while I was washing his clothes at home, cooking, and waiting for him to come home. I cook, clean, and do all the house chores, and even help him with his projects at school kasi we had dreams we were trying to fulfill—while he was cheating on me outside.

I cried so much to him when I found out about it, and he rushed home to tell me na wala lang 'yung mga nakita ko lahat. To add up, he made an IG account and didn’t even follow me. I even helped him make that report where he highlighted his inspirations in life, but I was not there. He included his newly found friends in there, but not me, kasi he said he wanted to be "low-key"—'yun pala, ayaw niya malaman na may gf siya kasi may nilalandi siyang iba.

And when I told him na layuan 'yun to fix our relationship, he said I can’t forgive him anymore raw caused he broke my trust —and he left me alone in our empty apartment just to move closer to that girl he was flirting with. I just found out everything about it a month or two after he left me for that girl.

Then when he came clean about what he did and said sorry for betraying me like that, he wanted to get back together kasi nagsisi daw siya at kinarma—dahil the girl he cheated on me with cheated on him too. I forgave him and we got back together, pero that girl kept ruining what we were trying to build again. Until all the disrespect, lies, and betrayal happened again. And after months of understanding, forgiveness, and believing in him, I finally told myself that this BS is enough.

Three weeks after I called it off completely, I found out I was pregnant. And that’s when I vowed not to let my child experience any of those kinds of disrespect from him and from those people who were part of his betrayal. I remember all of them, and I will never forget what each of them did.

[mynairobi23]

When you said I should have manipulated you to stay, like she did, it hit me. You told me you’ve always made wrong decisions that you regret later, and now you feel stuck, even if you wanted to leave. But I told myself, no. If your love for me was real and strong, and if you truly respected me, you wouldn’t have done what you did or hurt me this much in the first place.

You’re an adult, and the moment you lied about being with your friends—when you were actually flirting with her during that EK trip—was the moment everything broke. I was at home, washing your clothes, cleaning our house, and working for us, and you betrayed me. It’s one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced, and even now, I can’t forget the details of that betrayal.

Your apologies without real change only prove that your love wasn’t real or strong. And you’re weak for thinking I would keep accepting your words and empty promises. My "dumb in love" era is over. It’s hard for me right now, but I’ll rise from the mess and pain you left me in.

I’ll be the biggest regret of your life, and you’ll never have me again, no matter how much you’ve told me that you love me, want me, or wish you could undo what you did. I’ll be the one who got away in a world full of people like you and those who’ve been part of the pain you’ve caused me.

[mynairobi23]

You don't miss her.

You miss how convenient she made it to be with her.

You miss being able to show up and give half the effort, while she poured everything into you.

That's what you miss. You don't miss her.

You miss her always having your back regardless of who it was. Family, friends, even people she loved that she knew were telling her to leave you. Her still covering for you out of your best interest knowing you were wrong.

That's what you miss. Her blind loyalty. You miss the fact you could do whatever you wanted to do because you knew she was insecure with what she saw in the mirror.

You miss being able to say whatever you want. You miss her masking your insecurities and making excuses for your shortcomings.

That's what you miss. You miss the broken version of her.

[mynairobi23]

I don't know what to say anymore 😭

[mynairobi23]

You'll never really understand it until it happens to you personally. Until you experience it all 😶

[mynairobi23]

The person I am today wouldn’t put up with half of what I endured before, and that’s powerful.

[mynairobi23]

May God give me the clarity and peace of mind I needed in this world

[mynairobi23]

After everything I’ve known and found out, I have only one thing to say: they simply don’t know the truth. They choose to believe the words of a liar. I’m keeping everything I know to myself—not because it erases what they put me through, but because it frees me from the things I once tolerated. Let them believe the lies and see only what’s in front of them, while I silently witness what’s really happening behind the curtain. One day, those who truly know the truth and the real cause of it all will get tired of lying and realize the harm they’ve done to the people who genuinely cared for them.

[mynairobi23]

The longer you dance with the devil, the longer you stay in hell.

[mynairobi23]

It's clear to me now that some people don’t know as much as I do or understand the things I already know. I’m not here to boost anyone’s ego or cater to ignorance.

I value knowing the full story—from start to finish. Details matter deeply to me, especially in life’s important situations. I trust my instincts, analyze carefully, and prioritize understanding the truth.

If you’re someone who doesn’t appreciate hearing the full version, is impatient, or blindly believes what others tell you without proof, then you’re not here with good intentions.

I’m only willing to engage with people who are open-minded, sincere, and have the patience to review all the facts and evidence I provide. If that’s not you, then you don’t deserve to know everything. Believe what you want, but know this—only a few will truly understand the truth.

Those who don’t listen and accept things without evidence are only fooling themselves.

The difference between us is that I know my truth (with proof and correct basis) and have experienced more than you. You selectively choose what to believe, while I don’t. I’m not the type of person who gaslights myself just to feel better about the wrongs I’ve done to others — and that says a lot about you. So, don’t act as if everything you believe is true, because it’s not.

Don’t mistake my silence for weakness. I know my worth and what I’m capable of, but you’re simply not on my priority list. Your small-minded thinking and bad habits, tolerated by those around you, make you believe your actions are justified because you meet others like you. I refuse to be one of them and never will be.

Never destroy someone’s peace. If you do, karma will handle you when the time is right, and you won’t even see it coming.

[mynairobi23]

I wonder if the people who wronged me will ever tell the truth about everything they did. Will he ever admit the details of what he did to me from October to November? How he left me in our empty apartment on November 10, 2023, and how I discovered he was flirting with a girl in October 2023 while I was waiting for him at our home in Mayapa, thinking he was just with his classmate at Enchanted Kingdom.

Will he tell anyone that he left me to move closer to the girl he was micro-cheating with, ending our relationship while I begged him to stay away from her because she was ruining our relationship? Will he admit that every time he came home late at night he was with her, lying about where he was, pretending to be single while I stayed home washing his clothes for school? Or that he was chatting with that girl while I slept beside him and even used our landline to call her while I was sleeping in our own home?

Will he tell people how his father covered up his lies and tolerated his behavior, leaving me to face and finding out all the truths alone? How I had no choice but to return to my province in the second week of November 2023 because I had nowhere else to go because he said so many excuses without me knowing he was with that same girl when he moved into his new apartment? Will he admit that he promised to "find himself" and wouldn’t pursue that girl because she is the main reason we broke up, that he said he will find himself muna, only to lie again so he could be near her?

I wonder if he’ll tell anyone how, between November and December 2023, he still kept in contact with me, pretending he wanted to fix things for us, how he cries and regret everything he did and how much he wanted to fix us and how he still loves and cares for me without me knowing that he was with that girl already. Will he confess that during December, while I believed we were finally working on our relationship, he was intimate with me and that girl too, that he is still lying to me again? Will his family admit they knew about it but chose to stay silent, even as I treated them with respect?

In January 2024, he apologized, begged for forgiveness, and cried about his lies after telling me everything he did, but even then, he wasn’t fully truthful. I didn’t know that he only came back because the girl he cheated with cheated on him too. He told me how he was sorry and begged to come back, as I love him so much I forgave everything thinking I know this man better than everyone else and still chooses to believe him after all the pain I've gone through. By March 2024, we officially got back together, and our families knew, but he still kept secrets and cheated with the same girl again.

Will he tell anyone how she continued trying to ruin us after knowing we got back together—calling, messaging, and manipulating him—while I tried to believe him because he claimed he was forced and threatened? Will he admit how he emotionally and mentally broke me with his constant lies and betrayals? How he keeps telling me that he is handling everything with that girl without me knowing what's truly happening on the other side.

Even when we faced challenges in April and May 2024, I stood by him, forgiving him and trying to help him become a better person and understand him. I truly believed in the future we dreamed of. But by June 2024, he brought that same girl to his sister’s birthday, and his father lied to me again when I asked for the truth. Until I finally decided at the end of June to July 2024 that those bs ends here and even though it's hard and all my emotions are so high, I've endured it all for my own sanity.

I wonder if any of them regret what they did or feel accountable for their actions. They disrespected, betrayed, and hurt me from start to finish. It’s too much to handle emotionally, mentally, and physically. How I wish no one will ever experience everything like this, and after that day when I found out about my pregnancy I vowed to my child to protect him for any of it and from anyone who may possibly have caused him to feel it in the future. That's a promise I will die for to fulfill.

I hope God continues to give me strength to move forward for my child’s sake. I pray my little one never experiences the kind of pain I endured or falls victim to people like that. All the "I wonder" in me now turns into "I no longer care to know" as long as I know I'm giving everything my child's needs and deserve I'm okay. I know God's with us in this journey and I'm holding to him so tight right now until the day he knows I'm ready to fly so high again.

[mynairobi23]

Sa mga panahong kailangan kong maalala kung bakit ako lumalaban at nabubuhay sa mundong ito, kusa nang napapahawak ang kamay ko sa tiyan ko habang nararamdaman ko ang bawat sipa at galaw mo, anak. Thank you for coming into my life. Your little kicks and movements remind me why I want to keep going. It’s all because of you. 🥹💞

[mynairobi23]

My mom just told me not to hold grudges against the people who wronged us, without her knowing I was alone in that hospital bed that night, feeling like I was losing my mind. Without her knowing, I was at that Shell station, on the verge of breaking down and almost ready to end it all. Without her knowing, I locked myself in a dark room for days, refusing to let anyone in. She doesn’t know I told my former partner to hide the pink knife I once used to hurt myself because even he couldn’t fix what he broke in me. Without her knowing, how I found out everything—every lie, every betrayal, every wound that left me broken. She doesn’t know I hurt myself without realizing it or that I paid for a Zoom meeting with a therapist just to try and save myself.

But then, I choose not to tell her these things because if she knew it all, her heart would break into pieces knowing what her child went through just to be alive today. I am so lucky to have a mom with such a kind and loving heart.

I still remember the moment I told her about Nym, she never ask or say anything bad to me, she was just so happy that a little blessing arrive to us and encourage me that she know from the start that I can do it and she always trust my decisions in life 🖤

[mynairobi23]

Mahal ko, Mahal ko ka dyan 🤦

[mynairobi23]

I lift my heart in prayer for strength and resilience. May my child grow within me, safe and full of life. 💞