myopic-creation

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happy neil banging out the tunes day to everyone who celebrates

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how the world feels when you listen to a song for the first time and immediately know you'll love it forever

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Blood test results are back. 0’s across the board, dry as a bone under the hood, they’re not sure what they’ve got in those vials but it recoils from light and lunges towards living tissue, which is all normal for girls these days.

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sometimes I think about like what TV shows and movies I'd keep on VCR or some shit to watch in the post-apocalypse after a long day of decontaminating mutant salmon

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Reasons why computer problems seem to mysteriously vanish as soon as a technician shows up:

You were spacing out and skipping a step somewhere without realising it, and you can’t reproduce it when you try to demonstrate it because now you’re paying attention to what you’re doing

It’s an intermittent electrical connection fault that’s being aggravated by movement/vibrations in your desk; you need to check your cables

The act of explaining the problem to someone caused you to figure out what you were doing wrong

The real cause of the problem was somewhere upstream of your terminal device – for example, at the network service provider – and it got fixed at the source while you were waiting

Your computer is in a location with poor airflow and is overheating; waiting for the technician to arrive gave it a chance to cool off

Despite all appearances to the contrary, modern computers actually have very good fault recovery, and most minor problems will sort themselves out on their own if you give it a minute

Magic

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baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents' hoards

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Oh man you guys weren't kidding about the Twitter refugees with empty blogs. Spooky

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I’m so happy I got this shot earlier holy shit

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My favorite pirate joke is “why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at c” not because it’s THAT funny but because it’s a relatively simple joke that nobody ive told it to has ever correctly guessed the punchline for because they all think it’s gonna be a joke about arrrr

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What if you fell in love with a girl while you were playing Orpheus and she were playing Eurydice and you lost her every night and then on your last performance they rewrite the ending just a little bit so she leaves with you and you get to take her home just that one time and then after a while you both return to the show for a limited time to play those roles again and you get engaged during it. Happened to Reeve Carney apparently. Makes me insane.

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me messaging a casual acquaintance: hello, how are you?

me messaging a best friend w/zero lead-in:

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Parasite and Girl

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Congratulations to Brooke from Let's Not Date for winning Father's Day.

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saw an absolutely hilarious animal crossing theory that i now 100% accept and it’s that in the animal crossing world, humans are going extinct, and so all the animals have locked you in an elaborate zoo enclosure and are trying to give you enrichment. and that’s why they give you infinite pointless tasks, hide money in trees and rocks, invented debt that doesnt matter etc. it’s why they always act so happy to see you even after you raze the entire island, relocate their houses twice, and always act so pleased about your choices no matter what. it’s all to keep their little endangered human healthy and enriched. and thinking of it this way has genuinely improved my experience of the game

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