mypersonalbest11

[mypersonalbest11]

Temperaments

In the past people have asked me if I could relate to the four temperament theory. This theory suggests that there are four fundamental personality types: sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic. This was hard for me to answer because when people asked me what temperament I had, my answer was that it depends on the situation. I’m versatile. I read the situation and use the qualities that are best. However, I believed that people largely had a temperament.

Listening to a Christian podcast that touched on the subject today, the speaker made an amazing point that made sense to me. He said, “Temperaments are habitual ways in which we deal with the world. I don’t think there are only four. The four temperament theory could be explained like a graph. On one axes, it compares people who believe that the world is a friendly place where good things happen to people who think the world is a dangerous and unfriendly place where bad things happen. Then on the second axes, people who believe that you need to get out there and act upon the world before it gets to you and people who really believe that the wisest thing to do is to lay back and wait for things to happen and then react to them.

Is the world a dangerous place where bad things happen? Or is the world a friendly place where good things happen? Biblically, the answer is that both are correct. The heavens tell the glory of God. There are beautiful things in the world. Yet, it’s a wicked, dangerous and broken place. Should you get out there and act, or should you wait?... If we look at the book of Proverbs, the right thing to do in every situation is “it depends.” None of these situations is always the wise way to be. Jesus Christ had no temperament. He couldn’t be classified. He was exactly what He needed to be in every situation.”

[mypersonalbest11]

Friendship with Eternal Windows

During my long commutes to and from job sites, sometimes I listen to podcasts. This is from a desire to intentionally learn for a lifetime. Pastor Timothy Keller from New York in the U.S. is one of the pastor’s that I’m learning a lot from at this time. One of his sermons from a series on marriage is on friendship in general. It struck me because it’s very countercultural to our secular world. He presents that, biblically, we need to look at friendships with eternal windows.

He described friendship in this way. “Getting to know someone as a Christian is like trying to look at a mountain on a cloudy day. You watch, and watch and see the wind swirl and blow the clouds around. At a certain point, you could make out the peak and other times it’s completely covered. Then all of a sudden you briefly see the snow on the mountain and the sun shining down on it, and it takes your breath away. Next thing you know, back has come the fog.

Getting to know a Christian is like that. And getting to know yourself and somebody else is like that. We get a glimpse every so often of the gorgeous, radiant, glory person/self that a person is becoming. It’s a vision of what they would be if they were not fettered by their faults and sins. And you say, “The Spirit of God is working to make this person become that and I want to be part of the synergism and the process and become committed to it.”” In a Christian friendship, each person looks at the other and sees a beautiful thing that God is bringing about in each person’s life

One of my best friends is Koske. He’s a also a mature Christian and a little older than me. He’s half Filipino and half Japanese. We’re both very thoughtful people and share a few interests like basketball. I would sometimes think to advise him only to often find he had already done it. He also thinks very differently from me, in some ways. I often think, “How does he even think like that.” lol! He’s the ���prove them wrong’ type and I’m the ‘reach always for my potential’ type.  He is a minimalist who likes fine things in life, whereas, I do too but am less a collector and maximize value. He gave me the book Counterfeit God’s after he saw that I was unknowingly putting too much value on a good thing and placing it where God should be in my heart. There have been countless times when he would hear me out and add a new idea. It really feels as iron sharpening iron as friends. Our friendship is, in a sense, confrontational and we are growing spiritually around one another. It’s a friendship operating at its highest potential.

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Vehicles for Redemption

When God looks at us one day, we hope that He would say Well done my good and faithful servants Over the years, you lifted one another to me You sacrificed for one another You held one another up with prayer

And with thanksgiving, you confronted one another Your rebuked one another You hugged and you loved And you continually pushed one another toward Me

And now look at you You’re radiant and presentable to me Without spot and blemish Have joy in that you were vehicles for redemption in each other’s life

[mypersonalbest11]

I'm back at hiking with a best friend and picking his mind about things and checking in with each other.

[mypersonalbest11]

I took time during my weekend to write Adela. She is a child living in abject poverty who I sponsor through Compassion International.

[mypersonalbest11]

In the valley, I know that He is with me. Surely, His goodness and mercy follows me. So my weapons, are praise and thanksgiving.

[mypersonalbest11]

What Love Really Means

Before I had anxiousness about asking a woman if she loved me. The way our culture defines “love” as an overwhelming feeling that one can’t just say no, I didn’t know how I could make someone have that feeling. 

The other day, as I was going through a hike with two friends from a Bible Study, I could see the weaknesses in me from a third person sense. I was tired and not the most fun. I was also tired emotionally and mentally from caring for my mom early that morning who has a severe illness and I could see how I was unattractive.

It bothered me. I toughed it out with my friends and eventually came back to the realization I had in the past 6 months about what love really is. Love is seeing the caterpillar to the butterfly. It’s an attitude of seeing who God is making someone to become and loving them through it. Love isn’t looking for a statue but at a wonderful block of marble. I think I’m good enough in my weakness.

And from here, I can finally grasp “I love you.” I believe that there are circumstances where one has an overwhelming feeling of like that passively leads to a loving attitude, but this is actually not what love really is. Sooner or later the door has to be opened manually. From here, I can finally comfortably ask the question, “Do you love me?” I’d be asking if they have an attitude of love. It’s an action first and secondly a feeling. Not a feeling leading to an action. Do they choose to love me?

Here I find my rest. In a lesson that I know God provided. God said, “I will love you for you. Not for what you have done or who you will become.” I find rest in all of God’s promises. 

[mypersonalbest11]

Finding Love

I’ve been studying about love and marriage with great meticulousness lately. I’m spurred by things I see in my life. I’ve listened to many podcasts and read books and here is my conclusion.

I conclude that marriage is a spiritual friendship. It’s seeing who someone can become and helping them in growth. Love then brings forth a marriage covenant to always love each other. It’s done with Christ as the true North. And, this is not to say that we can be in covenant with anybody. Because there are really those people who we don’t have enough harmony with.

We would find seasons where we dislike the other person. Seasons when love is lacking from them. Times when they make decisions that cost you a lot. Now the feeling is gone and we feel to say that we don’t love the other person. Isn’t love always not about ourselves but what we can do for the other? We mix like with love. But love isn’t a feeling, it’s primarily an action. Love is about what one gives to another. It’s not about what one wants to take. 

And this is worth more than a feeling. Because feelings are up and down. But when you love someone unconditionally and intentionally then love is constant. Only there you can say that you truly love someone - in a place of intentionality.

I think the heart of marriage is captured in the following phrase. “I’ll try to be the best friend I can for you, spiritually, and love you unconditionally.” It’s, “I’ll be there no matter how life causes you to change, good and bad. I love you even though…this or that.” What if we expected marriage to be about helping each other grow out of our sins and flaws into the new self God is creating. An arrangement for mutual love, stability, and consolation.  A marriage relationship can never be based on good deeds and performance. That wouldn’t be love.

Wouldn’t that be one of the most beautiful things? That we have free will and love is created. Love cannot exist unless you allow a person the power to choose. This forms the most beneficial and powerful relationship. I can’t help to think that this is where great marriages come from. It’s only here, to my surprise and amazement in this journey, that I find I can say a favorite line from a song, “I see you growing old together. I wish I would find a love like yours.”

[mypersonalbest11]

It’s a joy that my faith is being strengthened in the hardship. Yes, I’m being tested. How do I become a better man in this crisis?

[mypersonalbest11]

A Small Update In The Pandemic

God, long ago I promised you that I would give generously to those in need when I had the support that I needed. I lied for I found that I cannot withhold myself from giving during important times because You have put a passion in my heart for helping the poor. And I have bee giving in other ways during this time, not just financially. I try to bring what I can culturally in my circles by leading in qualities I see missing, encouraging others in positivity, and physically helping those in need by sharing my time. 

I walk the line of helping others as much as I can and taking care of myself. That line is so sensitive and maybe sometimes I don’t give as much as I can or take care of myself enough. But I’m learning. During this time that is especially difficult on me, sometimes I feel I have nothing more to give. That is the David you envisioned, although I fight for it everyday. I wish the shelter in-place ends soon so that I could get the support I need from community.

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“Be strong and courageous, for the Lord will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

[mypersonalbest11]

People have passed on me, Lord. But you say that you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, and that you honor me.

[mypersonalbest11]

Two Ways to “Love”

“Love seeketh not itself to please, Nor for itself hath any care, But for another gives its ease, And builds a heaven in hell’s despair.

Love seeketh only self to please, To bind another to its delight, Joys in another’s loss of ease, And builds a hell in heaven’s despite.”

[mypersonalbest11]

Love is anything but sweet and sentimental. It’s gritty.

[mypersonalbest11]

Sometimes you don’t feel like for that person but do you love them?

“Liking me is important. But in this moment of truth, I don’t need to know if you like me. I need to know whether you love me because they are two separate things.”

[mypersonalbest11]

Choosing to love David is realizing that he needs help and growth and committing to it. And working together to bring out the glory God envisioned towards him.

[mypersonalbest11]

Relationships don’t bring us in conflict with other people but within ourselves.

Circumstances in my life have caused me to reflect on what love really means. My dad has exhibited his shortcomings lately and at one point I thought, “I didn’t want to love him.” But in reflection I thought, “What do my feelings have to do with loving my dad right now? They don’t.” The heart is deceitful. Love isn’t dependent on my feelings.

I’ve been so fundamentally changed. Along is further manifestation of love: a realization of spiritual friendship and unconditional love. Love is being lived out to a fuller extent. I know it feels deliberate but, at the same time, I know it to be true. 

[mypersonalbest11]

Fighting For Them

Work has been very demanding, and I’m tired emotionally. I’m not able to help all the people that I can, but I give what I can. For my men’s Bible Study group, I helped to set the culture for what it should be by offering to lead an activity where we are together. I sacrificed for my mom by conversing with her as her medicine and keeping her mentally together. And I engaged, my mom and brother over dinner in a substantial discussion that hopefully challenges them spiritually and in wisdom. And when my dad comes home, being the first one to greet him and keep his spirits up. Then there is the love that I give to my dog, I feel I’m the only one taking care of her. All this comes from someone who feels that he doesn't have any more to give sometimes. It’s a conscious decision to fight for other people and be a leader.

[mypersonalbest11]

As Christ Loves the Church

Before I begin, I will say that I sense a need and must step up as a sort of leader in church. I feel that I could help set the culture from my spiritual maturity, the knowledge taken from all the people I’ve studied and a personality to be on the cutting edge. 

Today, I discussed my plans for a true vacation in Maui, Hawaii with my cousin Melvin. When Melvin and I went to Germany together, we had an argument from our differing personalities. It was resolved but ever since we’ve been back in the states, it has felt that we had always remembered we were different from each other. There was a level of unease. However, I’ve treated Melvin with love no matter how deliberate it felt. I’ve continued to help his family care closely for our grandma at his house and he has noticed. When we finished talking in a friendly manner about Hawaii, an amazing moment hit us. It felt to us both that we acted in a way in which we truly loved one another. How I’ve acted is how love is. I can’t help but think that this is how Christ loved the church.

A few months ago when I thought about dating, I would think about my family. My family has many strengths but also many shortcomings. My brother is a very difficult person to love if you get to know him. I used to think, “How would a lady want to be with me if she sees my family’s shortcomings and what she has to put up with?” But this is not love. I have now learned to think instead, “I want to find a lady who will love my family as Christ loves the church/us.”