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mysanderssidessideblog · 4 years ago

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Sticks and Stones...

(this one has a happy ending. It wasn't supposed to, but I have such a soft spot for Remus actually caring about his twin.)

warning for allergic reaction, choking, unsympathetic Logan, swearing, threats of violence.

Link to story on AO3. Written for the #unsympandangstsidesbingo event.

Like his brother, Roman had allergies.

While Remus could not stand soap, the substance causing him pain beyond his tolerance levels, Roman found too much criticism caused his throat to swell.

On a good day, he could manage the discomfort. He'd be a little more breathy than usual, but it was usually something he could cope with, or at least act like it did not bother him.

Today was not a good day.

Already more than a little bruised from various hits against his self-worth and self confidence accumulated over the last few weeks, Roman found himself gasping for air. His chest wheezed painfully, and he clutched at his neck in desperate attempt to draw breath.

“There is no call for such dramatics Roman,” Logan complained, as Roman struggled. “I merely pointed out that your flamboyant notions of making a grand gesture to show Nico how much Thomas cared were both expensive and impractical.”

“But it was a nice thought!” Patton chipped in, always trying to find the positives in every situation.

“And we all know that it is the thought that counts....(!) No-one ever appreciates actual effort, rather than cheap little words of what might have been.” Janus, uninvited, had taken up against the wall.

“Uh guys... is Roman OK?” Patton nervously adjusted his sweater on his shoulders as he looked down at Roman.

“Hmm.” Logan peered at Roman over his glasses, before setting them back into position. “Roman. When you are done throwing a tantrum like a child because no-one liked your ideas, you would be welcome to join in the conversation.”

Patton gave briefest of nods that perhaps Roman was acting up for attention. Roman was not beyond dramatically acting out a death scene when slighted, and him writhing on the ground just seemed like he was being particularly realistic this time.

Roman felt light headed, and his chest burned like he'd swallowed acid due to the lack of oxygen.

He slumped down and curled in on himself, trying to shield himself from the harsh judgements of his fellows.

It was Virgil who stopped and saw that Roman was actually suffering. He fell to his knees in front of Roman, trying to pull Roman's shoulder back so he could see.

“Is it me?” he asked worriedly “Am I making you have a panic attack somehow?”

Roman shook his head, the terrible wheeze of his chest tight and painful.

Janus curiously tipped his head to the side, and then his eyes widened. “Oh!”

“Remus!” he called, bringing Remus tumbling into the space. In a swirl of black and green, he clattered against a wall, limbs flailing wide. The duke picked himself up, and looked around in confusion.

Janus pointed across the room. “Roman does not need help!”

Remus looked over, and startled at the state of his brother.

“Hol-ee shit!” he proclaimed, and summon a blowgun. Before anyone could stop him, he fired one, then two darts directly into Roman's chest.

Virgil instinctively leapt out of the way.

“What are you doing!?” he shouted, his voice echoing loudly.

“Helping.” Remus stated, tossing the blowgun to the side and approaching Roman.

Virgil was about to argue that blow-darts were ever rarely 'helpful' when Roman finally managed to drag a half-decent breath in, and utter “S'OK....”

Remus strode over and sat down cross legged in front of Roman, shoving Virgil unceremoniously to the side.

“Roman, bro. You have great dress sense, red and white, like bone and blood!” he began, focused entirely on Roman and ignoring those around who were staring, baffled at the turn of events. “You have the biggest and brightest dreams, which is great, cause it makes my nightmares all the worse. And when you fight the dragon witch, you always show off the fanciest moves, even if I think you outta cut her head off one of these days, just to see if two will grow back in place of the bloody stump.”

Roman managed a weak laugh.

Remus looked about.

“Darts loaded up with antihistamines to stop the allergic reaction,” he explained, as if it was obvious, “and compliments to help combat the criticism and heal some of the damage.”

Roman paled then, and reached to tug at Remus's frilly sleeve. “They uh.. they don't know...”

Remus scowled. “You didn't tell them? You colossal fuck-wit!”

Roman gasped as his air became restricted, and Remus scowled at himself.

“Hey, hey, you know I don't mean that....” he said softly, as he reached to place one hand over Roman's, squeezing gently. “Trust my brother to keep such a secret for sake of others. You daft hero!”

He gave a uneven smile as Roman started to breath more easily again.

“I'm gonna tell them though.”

Roman gave a small nod.

“Right you butt-holes, listen up.” Remus addressed the rest of the room.

“The Ego, aka my boring-ass brother, gets easily bruised. It doesn't stop at a bit of contusion either, let it get bad enough, Roman starts to go into anaphylactic shock when too much critique overwhelms his system.”

Patton gasped at the harm Roman had been hiding from them, and Logan reviewed past situations, to confirm that Roman did indeed seem to react strongly to judgements and critical appraisal. Virgil glanced apologetically at Remus for thinking the worst of him while Janus made conscious effort not to find a way this piece of information could be used to his own ends.

“Self-sacrificing hero that he is, he didn't think to tell you, but now you know.”

“So,” he said, giving Roman a wicked grin, “bare that in mind, or next time Roman gets hurt, he ain't gonna be the only one bruised.....”

With that, Remus helped Roman up to his feet, lending an arm his brother could lean on if needed.

There was a chorus of apologies, as well as a general understanding that Remus was entirely serious.

Even though Logan felt confident he would remain impervious to Remus's attacks, he did not want to test out how far Remus might be inlined to go to protect his twin.

“OK Kiddo, what can we do to make it up to you?”

“Maybe a movie? Might be nice to sit and watch something...”

“You got it!”

Remus had already started to back out the way, usually unwelcome in the shared space.

It was Roman's voice, raspy, that halted him.

“Remus, will you stay and watch with us?”

Intrusive Thoughts rocked back and forth on his heels, then shrugged his acceptance.

“Sure thing. But I get to make the snacks!”

Roman shuffled to make space on the sofa. Remus flopped down happily, summoning a bowl.

“Hope you all like candied cockroaches!”

#UnsympAndAngstSidesBingo

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mysanderssidessideblog · 4 years ago

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Quiet as the Vacuum of Space

Written for the Unsympathetic and Angst Sides Event Bingo,

warnings for slightly unsympathetic sides, unsympathetic Janus, character death, sides fading, angst, loss of voice, communication difficulties

Link to story on AO3

Logan was getting used to the jarring sensation of his own hand betraying him, and clasping against his mouth.

Ever since Janus had revealed himself to Thomas and thus become a more frequent visitor, Deceit seemed to do his little party trick of silencing another more and more often.

But only ever to Logan.

Roman could call Janus all manner of unflattering nicknames and merely incur a scoff in response, or Virgil could hiss up a storm when he so much as entered a room, but received only a replying hiss or sardonic comment.

Logan however, in efforts to understand him better, had attempted to engage in debate with the deceitful side, only to be forcibly hushed towards the closing statements, or whenever Janus felt he was losing.

Hard to conclude a debate to satisfaction, when one side was silenced.

It was not only direct interaction either.

When Logan took on the arduous task of reminding the others of their chores and duties, Janus had taken to snapping his fist closed, and rendering Logan mute and unable to continue to reiterate the importance of the tasks, much to the visible relief of those around him.

It had stopped seeming like a joke weeks ago.

He was only trying to help, yet it was becoming more and more of a common occurrence.

Slowly, more and more Janus caused Logan to silence himself , and no-one seemed to object the practice.

“Hush Logan, it is too early in the morning for such long words.”

“Not now Brain-box, the movie is on and we do not need you commentary on its inaccuracies!”

“Yes yes, you are completely correct, climate change is a big deal, but talking about it is upsetting anxiety! So be quiet!”

It got so that Logan had started to anticipate whenever Janus was going to control his hand, and move it of his own will to attempt to keep some sense of bodily autonomy.

Janus seemed amused that Logan would opt for covering his mouth willingly rather than have the issue forced, and neither brought it up in conversation.

Soon, Janus did not even have to gesture but instead merely cast his eyes to him, and Logan would dutifully place his hand across his lips.

More often than not, Logan's logical contributions to the conversation were skipped over, as he stood and watched in silence.

Then, one day, Thomas was getting ready for a date with Nico.

While Logan found the relationship a distraction he was not sure Thomas benefited from, Nico did make Thomas happy.

Logan wanted Thomas to be happy.

Roman wanted to fuss over the choice of clothes, while Remus kept suggesting that Thomas ought to forego underwear.

Logan then recalled that there were due to be roadworks that would likely delay Thomas's journey.

He coughed, politely to draw attention, but Patton had started to argue with Janus over whether Thomas ought to boost about his successes to impress Nico or not, and Virgil was worrying what would happen if Thomas was knocked over by a car, and was found to have no underwear on. Remus was delighted by the notion, and started to sing an impromptu song that Thomas didn't need underwear.

Logan sighed. He did not like to raise his voice, but it seemed the only way to convey the information. He opened his mouth to speak.

Janus glared that Logan seemed about to join in that Thomas ought not to lie. Logan's hand twitched automatically, lifting in conditioned response, but Logan clenched his fists at his sides. He had valuable intel that the others had missed, and he would make them aware of it then go back to playing the part of a passive participant.

His tongue lay still, his words unspoken.

He frowned, this was important, Thomas risked being late, and worse, disappointing Nico and setting bad precedent for possible future dates.

He tried to clear his throat, tried to make a sound, anything, but it was if his voicebox had atrophied from disuse. The others turned their attention away, too busy arguing with each other to pay him much mind.

In growing horror, Logan found that he could not utter a single word.

Yet, he was not beaten.

He summoned a clipboard, determined that even if he could not speak, he would still help.

As he began writing, 'Thomas will need to depart soon if he is to be punctual. There are a number of obstructions and roadworks on his route.' he found the ink fading before his eyes, leaving the paper pristine.

He tried again, and again, replicating the action but each time experiencing the same result. He stared in shock.

None of the gathered Sides noticed as Logan fled, pale and shaking.

------------------------------

When Thomas returned from the date, having arrived late and setting in motion a string of events starting with Nico being a little put-off, to them missing their table reservation, to a small disagreement about where they would go instead, which had added a sour note to the evening.

Nothing terrible, despite Virgil's concern that this was it, that Nico would surely dump Thomas after such a disaster (it was not), but it could have easily been avoided.

Roman was incensed, his notion of a perfect date upset, and Virgil catastrophising at the slight inconvenience. Janus was in favour of putting forwards that a lie for why they had been late (and injured animal on the roadside for instance, would have been acceptable) to cover for the situation in retrospect, but the thought of even a fictional hurt puppy meant that Patton was nearly in tears.

They did not take note that Logan was absent, or question what Logic was doing while Thomas's other thoughts spiralled out of control.

------------------------------

Logan had come to the conclusion that he was dying.

Or, to be more accurate, ceasing to exist. He could not die, per say, as he had never been alive. Yet, despite it being irrational to be upset over such a thing, Logan found that he wanted to continue, to survive.

However, everything he had tried had failed to alert others to his situation.

He had tried to use sign-language, trawling through every memory for words that Thomas had seen at some point, but as the others did not know sign language, he had been dismissed as fidgety.

He tried to cry, to show his state of mind and at how worried he was over what was happening to him, but he found that no matter how sad and scared he was, tears did not come to him, his expression flat.

He had even tried to grab Roman's arm when Roman was painting, guiding him to write words on Logan's behalf. Roman however, jerked his arm away, angry at Logan for interfering in his art.

Logan retreated then, shocked at how his hand had seemed to nearly pass through Roman's arm.

------------------------------

It was getting harder and harder to lift even a pen, but Logan was nothing if not determined.

His wits had not dulled, even as he became more and more incorporeal, and he was grateful for that at least.

He had found that if he concentrated, really dedicated the full scope of his intellect to the task, he could make words on paper that lasted. The process drained him, and he felt he was hastening his undoing by exerting himself so much, but he had to leave something to be remembered by.

Sincere yet succinct, he wrote a letter to the others. It was a little less objective than he would have liked, but he did not berate himself for expressing a modicum of emotion in this, his last act.

It would ease their pain, and help them move on, and he laboriously finished and tucked it into an envelope on his desk.

The sensation of finally fading was not as bad as he had feared. There was a weightlessness to it, as if drifting off to sleep, or up into the great emptiness of space. It was a pleasant thought.

He jolted then, suddenly not liking that at all. The vacuum of space dampened sounds, and he had had too much silence, too much quiet. It had undone him.

Unable to shout, or scream, or slow, or stop the process, Logan ceased to be.

--------------------------

At first, Patton had thought that Logan needed some time to himself. He had seemed particularly unsettled lately, but had clearly not wanted to talk about it. However, after several days had past and they had not still seen him about, he decided to summon him, a tray of freshly baked cookies made in preparation.

When Logan did not respond, he called upon the others to help seek him out.

Logan could not be found anywhere.

His room was empty, save for a crisp white envelope on his desk.

The sides bundled in, curious, and increasingly concerned.

Roman picked up the envelope and opened it, using his sword as a letter opener with a flourish. No-one pointed out what a bad idea that seemed.

“Well? What does it say?” Patton asked as Roman seemed to hold for dramatic effect.

Roman shook his head and turned the contents, revealing nothing but a blank sheet of paper.

#UnsympAndAngstSidesBingo #logan sanders #angst

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mysanderssidessideblog · 4 years ago

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A Good Day

Warnings for Sides fading out, major character death, unsympathetic Patton, angst, gaslighting, not a happy ending.

Written for #UnsympAndAngstSidesBingo

Link to AO3

“I'm very disappointed in you kiddo.”

Janus looked up from his book, frowning.

True, he knew his occasional appearance in the Lightside was not exactly welcome, but he had been slowly trying to help the others acclimatise to his presence by sitting quietly with a book from time to time.

He'd even carefully set out a tea set and biscuits this time, rather than his usual tea for one, making a subtle gesture that he was open to company. So far, none had taken him up on the offer.

Yet, he could not fathom source of Patton's discontent. He was trying, and short of dragging Virgil out by his ear to reluctantly sit with him, he was not sure what more he could do.

“Patton. Will you not join me?” Janus had learnt that the use of the word 'not' had evolved to ambiguous meaning; 'I could care less' tended to be treated the same as 'I could not care less', even if the wording was inaccurate. As a result, he leaned heavily into the word to help mask his lies.

“No.”

Morality's face, usually lit up with a bright smile, was stern.

Janus pursed his lips, and feigned indifference. “As you like.”

“You had one job, and you have failed.”

That took him aback, Patton not usually so confrontational. lowering his book, Janus schooled his expression into neutrality, opting for addressing the accusation in a calm and civil manner. He inclined his head so that he appeared interested in what Patton had to say, while opening his stance to appear receiving to discussion.

“I am not sure I follow. Please, help me understand.”

“You were to keep the undesirable elements of Thomas hidden, secret. You were supposed to stay away, out of sight, out of mind.”

“Ah.” Janus straightened, and clutched at his book, trying to hide the hurt from his voice. He had thought he and Patton had reached something of a truce, that Patton had seen that he had some merit in being known, in being active participant in the mindscape.

“I believe we agreed that repression was not of benefit. That I could keep things hidden, but it would be best for Thomas to be more self-aware, to learn that he had sides to him that were not always...” Janus struggled for an appropriate word, “...good.” he finished lamely.

It was hard to argue with Morality; he held great power and influence, and his view of the world was parsed down into good and evil. Janus sought to teach him of the deeper complexities, but Patton was reluctant to even consider than lying could have small benefit in theory, so the idea of applying small untruths to day to day happenings was unthinkable to him.

“It is not working. Thomas is more stressed than ever with so many conflicting opinions, and then there is Remus! He is disgusting, and vile, and Thomas does not need him and his corrupting presence!”

“And don't think I have not noticed Logan's more regular angry outbursts. The influence of the dark sides has gotten out of hand, and must be corrected.”

Janus was glad of his gloves that hid how white his knuckles had turned with how tightly he held the book. He swallowed nervously.

“Patton, I understand that this is a time of change, and that change can be daunting, even uncomfortable. However, change is important for growth, for improved insight. This will help Thomas become a better person, eventually.”

“Thomas was already perfect before the dark sides came along! Things were better before!”

Patton's face then broke into a smile.

Janus did not like that smile, not in the slightest.

“Maybe that is answer.....”

He was about to get to his feet, about to retreat, when Patton walked towards him.

“You could not keep the dark contained.” he said, as the air around them grew dense. Janus felt uneasy, as Patton's eyes narrowed behind his glasses. “So I guess it's a father's duty to step in when a Kiddo has failed....”

Janus did try to get up then, but found himself held down by Patton by a hand upon his shoulder, surprisingly strong.

“You'll help me, won't you Kiddo? Help me fix up your little mistake...?”

“I don't understand Patton, what are you talking about?”

“You, and Remus, all the dark sides, are a bad influence on Thomas.” Patton then stretched his lips wider, his face a rictus parody of a smile, “It's high time someone did something about that....”

Janus shook his head. “Patton, you cannot just deny that Thomas has dark sides to him, same as everyone! We are just as much a part of him as you are!” he lifted his hand, tried to push Patton from him. He could not make Patton's hand budge at all.

“Thomas needs us. Needs all of us!”

Patton's grip shifted, instead of holding Janus down, curling his fingers past the fabric and into the flesh underneath, so tight Janus felt like Patton was reaching to leave fingerprints upon his bones.

“No. Thomas needs to be good.” Patton gave a short nod to himself. “Thomas will be good.”

Janus cried out, in pain, in fear.

“Let me go!”

“I can't do that Kiddo. See, if I'm gonna make everything right again, I'll need to borrow just a tiny bit of your power.”

“You can hide things, and I have high influence over nostalgia and memories. I think that if we really put our minds to it and work together, we can hide the memories of the dark sides so deep that they will never be thought of again!”

“Patton, Thomas needs all aspects of him. He needs to understand that others have the capacity to lie so he is not taken advantage of. He needs the ability to get angry when things are not right so he can sort it out.” “He even needs Remus, the core of his jokes that are a little crude, a little naughty....” “You cannot just.... delete those vital pieces of him; that way lies madness!”

“You are one to talk about lies mister!”

“OK, OK, I have lied, and will likely do so again, but you have been told that repression doesn't work... that didn't come from me, but Logan. And you trust Logan, right?”

Patton tipped his head, thoughtful.

“Hmm. Good point.”

Janus sagged slightly, relieved he had managed to get through to Morality.

“I guess we'll just have to remove the the dark sides entirely!” he said brightly.

Janus froze, unbelieving. If it had been anyone other than Patton, he'd have accused them of a off-tone joke..... but Patton wasn't lying.

“I will help you!” he snarled, shaking his head, the lie unsubtle and obvious.

Tutting, Patton looked down.

“If you are not part of the solution, then it seems to me you are part of the problem...”

Patton's hand clawed, and Janus felt something creak within his shoulder.

He felt Patton tug at his influence, and thrashed and fought to keep what he was whole. He hissed and bore his teeth as if he might bite.

The hand across his throat stilled him, surprised, shocked that Patton would do such a thing.

“Stop fighting me, I know what's best for Thomas.”

“I will not help you destroy the dark sides!”

Patton's grip, both on shoulder and throat tightened in irritation. Janus struggle to fight back, to even draw breath, but Morality held much more sway than he did, and he could not break free.

He struggled, cursing himself for dismissing Patton as native and weak. Janus knew he was merely stalling for time, that Patton would eventually win. There was a small hope that one of the others might happen upon them and intervene, but he was not well liked, and he did not trust that another side would not work with Patton against him.

Patton looked down over his glasses, considering, and Janus desperately tried to stop Patton from draining his power, his essence.

Patton's grip round his throat relaxed, and Janus drew desperate and painful breath.

It took him a moment to realise that Patton was stroking against the side of his neck, affectionately. “You have an affinity for self-preservation, yes? Give me your power, willingly, and I shall let you survive.”

His mismatched eyes widened as Janus took in how very serious and set on this course of action Patton was.

Terror gripped him as the fingers round his neck tightened again, and he feared for his life.

A better side would have stood up for what was right.

A stronger side would have fought harder.

A clever side would have found the words to make Patton reconsider.

But Janus was a selfish side.

Weakly, he nodded.

Janus tried to cry out as Patton syphoned his strength and his power, but he could only hiss which what remained of his breath. His gloves and cape leached their colour, turning dull and grey as Patton stole from him.

He did not hold out much hope that Patton would ever return what he had taken.

When it was done, Patton released Janus, standing tall and confident, radiating energy.

“You made the right choice. Well done kiddo.”

Janus, sagged in the chair, tired. He managed to bring his head up to look at Patton.

“Patton, wait...” he managed to say, each word needing so much effort to utter than before, lie or not, “Please take a moment to think.. to reflect... You would be interfering beyond your realm of expertise. Do not do this!”

“Oh my silly little snake!” Patton leaned down to plant a fond kiss upon Janus's forehead. “It's already done!”

“What? No!” Janus clutched at the chair, as if it might hold him steady against this new revelation.

“All those nasty bits that Thomas doesn't need are already disappearing from thought. If you wanted to say your goodbyes, I would hurry. They are fading fast.”

One thought came to mind.

“Remusssss!” he hissed, and with a lurch, Janus swung himself downwards, sinking through the floor.

He landed in a landscape in disarray, the features of the darkside twisting and fragmenting, everything coming apart.

Remus was there, trying to shore up a crack in the wall with what looked like a mix of blood and cement.

“Snake-butt! Something's happening. Something's wrong!” he hollered over the low groan of the mindscape rejecting the dark.

Janus looked about in despair, only to see Remus staring at him, the crack beyond repair and stretching out. Horrifically, Janus could see the crack behind Remus, as the darker creativity grew translucent and hazy.

“My head feels fuzzy like mould on a birthday cake, and what's up with you? You've gone all grey.”

“It's Patton, he is not unmaking the dark side!” even in desperate times, Janus could not speak truthfully.

“What does that even mean?!”

Remus's voice was strange, softer as if he was shouting from a distance, but that did not hide the fact that he was scared. Janus could not ever recall Remus sounding scared.

Janus looked to him, halfway transparent and afraid, and the surrounding walls crumbling apart.

He forced a smile.

“Everything will be all right.” he lied, as he reached over and wrapped his arms round Remus, so the other would not see the tears in his eyes.

The sounds of unmaking crescendoed about them, and then, grew quiet.

Remus, and the darkside, and all that it contained faded to black... no, not black.....

Nothingness.

*********

Janus had had to claw his way back from the nothingness, drawing on what little power he had left.

He shouldn't have made it, should have faded out with the rest, but Morality's promise of his own unworthy survival held true.

The effort of returning to the lightside caused him to stumble, and he landed gracelessly in the common area.

Logan, writing down something in a note book, looked up. He gave curt nod.

“Janus.” he acknowledged, and then returned to his writing.

“Logan!” Janus hissed out, struggling to his feet.

Logan looked again, and adjusted his glasses at the sight of Janus bereft of his usual colouration.

“You have a new outfit. It is... monochromatic.”

“Do not summon the others. It's not important!”

Logan frowned, “If it is of such little import, then why can you not do it?”

Hands clenched weakly at his sides, Janus swayed where he stood.

“I can!” he lied, and then cursed himself for not speaking clearly as Logan stood back expectantly.

It did not take long for Logan to realise that Janus was making no move to call the others to them.

“Oh. You are lying.” Logan's lips tightened, “Very well.”

Roman rose with a flourish, and Virgil popped up sitting on the stairs.

“Patton has not done something terrible!” Janus started, then caught himself. He took a breath.

“Patton has done something terrible. He has destroyed the darkside, and all those still connected to it.”

Virgil frowned in thought, “I thought I felt something weird... ”

“Or it could have just been your usual constant worry of something about to go wrong.” Logan reminded, to which Virgil gave reluctant nod.

“Even if that were true, which I very much doubt it is coming from you, then why are you still here?” Roman asked, sceptical.

“I....” Janus swallowed his pride and spoke aloud his grievous mistake. “I made a deal with him to survive.”

“but he took my power, and used it to unmake the darkside!”

“Patton wouldn't do something like that.” Roman said confidently.

“Patton wouldn't do something like what?”

Janus pulled back as Patton approached, smiling cheerfully.

“Janus thinks you have done something bad.” Logan explained.

“Are you sure you didn't mishear him that I've done something 'Dad'?”

Janus snarled.

“You destroyed them, all the dark sides! Pieces of Thomas, ripped apart and gone!”

Patton laughed, “As if I would do anything to hurt dear Thomas!

Roman and Logan nodded with Patton, that of the two, Patton was far more trust-worthy than Deceit.

“Anyway, Thomas doesn't have dark sides, save for you....” Janus did not like the way Patton looked at him, as if he was nothing but another problem that needed 'fixing'. He shuddered.

Patton continued, “But don't worry, we'll all help you find your place and learn to be good! Just like Virgil!”

Virgil gave an uncomfortable shrug at being pointed out.

Janus turned to Roman, desperate, “Roman, your twin! He is... he is gone Roman!! Patton killed him!”

“My brother?” Roman frowned, and reached to the back of his head to rub against a fragment of a memory.

He looked to Patton for guidance, deeply confused.

“Don't be silly, you don't have a brother.”

Roman's hand dropped, and he shrugged at Janus. “I don't even have a brother. Don't speak such lies Snake!”

“You did! His name is... is... was.....”

Janus's eyes widened in horror, as he could not bring the name to mind.... nor the face....

Patton had not just destroyed the dark sides, but he had erased even the memories of them. How could Janus convince them of Patton's misdeed, when he had cleared every scrap of evidence from the mindscape?

How long before Janus himself forgot what Patton had done?

He lunged then at Patton, furious. He was stopped by Logan's arm easily blocking him and pushing him to the side.

Patton folded his arms, face full of fake concern.

“I was merciful before, but I think you need a time out Janus. Go to your room. In fact, I think it would be for the best if you were to stay there for the time being, and stop telling such terrible lies.”

“Roman, be a dear and take Janus to his room for me.”

“Sure thing Pat!”

As Janus let himself be led away, disbelieved and defeated, and destined to forget what he was and be moulded into whatever Patton deemed acceptable form of Deceit, Janus heard Patton address the other sides.

“Oh Kiddos, I'm just so happy! I have a feeling today is going to be a good day!”

#unsympandangstsidesbingo #unsympathetic sides #unsympathetic patton #angst #unhappy ending #major character death

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mysanderssidessideblog · 4 years ago

Text

Hard Truths

Another for #UnsympAndAngstSidesBingo prompt is - “I know you're in there, somewhere.”

Warnings for unsympathetic! Janus, slight unsympathetic! Virgil, descriptions of terrible things (Remus isn’t even in this one!), panic attack, overwhelmed, catatonic state.

Link to work on AO3

-----------

It was late, when Janus made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water.

He was not yet familiar enough with the lightside layout to navigate the room without bumping into things, so turned on the light. He was surprised to see that he was not alone, as Virgil startled, illuminated in the process of fetching a snack.

He scowled, and hissed.

Janus rolled his eyes.

“Good evening to you too...”

He walked past Virgil, hunched and defensive, and took down a glass. He was aware of the other's eyes on him, watching his every move as if he might strike out at any moment.

It irked him that no matter what he did, Virgil seemed to treat him like something venomous and wicked.

True he and Anxiety had traded barbs and snide remarks in the past, but he was genuinely trying to be less antagonistic. He was even being honest from time to time, much as it grated against his personality and function, all for sake of fitting in better with the so-called Lights.

It hurt, deeper than he would ever admit, that his efforts were not appreciated or acknowledged.

He glanced up, only to see that Virgil continue to stare, eyes narrowed and arms folded.

“Surely you have better things to do than watch me?”

“I watching you snake, to make sure you don't try to do something underhanded and sneaky! Like poison the water, or tamper with the food!”

“Do you really trust me so little?”

“You do not deserve trust. You are a liar; the literal embodiment of Deceit!”

Janus scoffed.

“I make no apology for what I am... Anxiety... but I am more than a source of distrust.”

“Like I'd believe you! You speak nothing but lies.”

“Oh?”

Janus turned and faced Virgil, his anger writ across his expression. He was done playing 'nice'.

“So you want the truth Virgil? Fine!”

Virgil looked nervous, his highly honed wariness warning that the situation was quickly becoming fraught and dangerous.

“All of Thomas's friends will die. That's not a threat by the way, but an inevitability. It could happen years from now, or tomorrow, and there is nothing you can do to prevent it.”

Virgil frowned, his heart already hammering at the thought of losing the connections that made him feel safe.

“Accidents, illness, cancer.... a myriad of ways a person can meet their end. There are cancers, Virgil, that you would not even know about till they spread throughout the body and it is much too late.”

Virgil took a step back, now concerned that Thomas might have cancer. Incurable, painful cancer.

“Stop....” he said, pulling his hoodie over his head.

“But why waste your worry on a single human tragedy, when you could consider the wider world? There is conflict and climate change and all sorts of terrible truths Virgil.”

Virgil gasped, his breath both too fast and too shallow, as Janus spoke.

“Stop!” Virgil pleaded, but Janus was too incensed to stop, all his frustrations and anger finding outlet finally.

“Global pandemics, pollution, unequal wealth distribution!”

Virgil crumpled to the ground, covering his ears but unable to block out the barrage of Janus's hard truths. He felt panicked, attacked.

“Species extinction, water shortages, famines, and my personal favourite, the unrelenting passage of time ever onwards!”

Virgil, overwhelmed, felt a strange darkness creep over him, his mind shutting down rather than deal with all the terrible things to be anxious about. He held on, not for his own sake, but for Thomas. Thomas needed him.

However, as if Janus knew what would hurt most, he had saved his last comment to be the most devastating.

“There is nothing you can do to save or protect him, Thomas is at the mercy of a world that is changing, and cruel.”

When Virgil did not say anything to argue against him, Janus brushed off his shoulders, satisfied that he had proven that truths could be just as unpleasant as lies.

He looked down, sneering.

“How's that truth tasting now then Virgil dear?”

Virgil said nothing.

“Virgil? It's hard to gloat properly if you won't even acknowledge my superior retort....”

Virgil said nothing.

Janus frowned, unease starting to prick at his victory.

“Virgil...?”

He would have welcomed a snide remark, even a hateful hiss, but Virgil continued to say nothing, still and staring in front of him, his eyes unfocused.

“I am not getting worried Virgil, say something. Please!”

Janus bent down, all pretence of aloofness cast aside as he took Virgil's head in his shaking hands, willing him to respond. Virgil did not resist, did not even seem like he noticed Janus's gloved hands on him.

Virgil said nothing.

“I'm not sorry!” Janus cried, his eyes growing damp, horrified at what he had done.

“Please, I know you're in there, somewhere... Please! Please come back to me!”

Virgil said nothing.

#UnsympAndAngstSidesBingo #angst

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mysanderssidessideblog · 4 years ago

Text

Repression

for the #UnsympAndAngstSidesBingo challenge, filling two prompts fire/burning and kidnapping. Warnings for Unsymapthetic!Patton, Main Character death, fire/burning, Kidnapping, unwilling captivity.

Link to AO3

----------------------------- It wasn't repression, Patton told himself as he picked up a fourth cookie. Like those before it, this one also did not make it to his mouth, but was crumbled between nervous fingers.

In order to help Thomas, Patton had decided that it would be best if Remus was kept out the way for a little bit, while everyone adjusted to Deceit's increased presence (which Patton was not entirely thrilled about either, but that was another problem for another day).

It wasn't cruel. Patton could not bring himself to be cruel, even to Remus. Even if the dark side spat out words that made his ears hurt with how disgusting they were, even if he literally spat on the floor.... Patton would not be cruel.

So the room that he had laid out for Remus in the recesses of the deepest memories had every comfort he could think of. He'd made sure there were jigsaws and colouring in books to keep him occupied, and soft toy animals for company. A wide range of art supplies such as paints, clay, watercolours, ink, and paper. There was plenty of food, and water too (Patton even left a stick of unscented deodorant!).

Despite Patton's care and attention, Remus had not taken to his sudden confinement well, even when Patton tried to explain that it was only temporary, and that it was for the good of Thomas.

He'd screamed and swore, and beat his fists against the walls and door, but Patton had made them strong and secure.

Patton had decided to give him time to settle down. After hours, Remus was still screeching out every expletive he could think of, and had even created some new shocking terms for Patton that caused Morality to feel horribly unclean. So he tried to distract himself with cookies.

When it became clear that Remus would continue screaming till his voice gave out, Patton went to pop his head round the corner, to try and calm the dark side. What awaited him was nothing short of a nightmare.

The room had been ransacked. The decapitated heads of the soft toys were mounted like trophies along the wall, and most of the furnishings were broken or completely destroyed. The wallpaper hung in tatters, and Remus had piled the food and water into a slopping mashed up mess, smeared across the floor. The art supplies, so thoughtfully provided, were in pieces, rendered unusable. Every scrap of paper was torn.

In the middle of it all, stood Remus, grinning proudly at the destruction surrounding him.

“What have you done!?”

“I redecorated!”

Patton was speechless, and quickly closed the door on the devastation. He would leave Remus, he decided, without any of the comforts for the rest of the day as a punishment, so that next time he might treat things with a bit more respect.

As soon as the door was closed, and locked, the shouting began again, this time angrier than before. Demands to be let out, and threats of what Remus would do once he was free filled the air, and Patton had to hmm loudly to himself to try and block out the terrible torrent of filth.

It continued long into the night, and Patton found he could not sleep.

Instead, he carefully dusted Thomas's memories; precious trinkets that warmed his heart and reminded him of simpler times. The slew of obscenities did not cease, but Patton felt a little better for looking back on happy times.

Much as he loved his family and kiddos, he cherished the memories Thomas had made, and liked to make sure every one was cared for and in its rightful place.

Through the next day, he was a little sleepy, but no-one had seemed to noticed that Remus was missing, or that the door to Patton's room was unusually shut, Patton choosing to close it to contain the noise.

Better still, Thomas seemed to be doing extra well. He didn't say anything crude or mean, which meant anxiety had less to fret over, and he even did not so much as smile when told a dirty joke (which Patton applauded him for, he should really just stick to good ol' puns!).

By the time Patton returned to his room, he was feeling good about his decision, and had brought Remus a tray of food and some pens and paper to celebrate. The first thing he noticed, was that Remus was still screaming, and he wondered if Remus had been shouting all day.

The second, was there was the smell of smoke.

He rushed to the room, the smell getting stronger as he approached. The sound chilled Patton, as he realised that it was not Remus's usual swearing and cursing, but desperate screams of pain.

He dropped the tray and went to the door, smoke seeping out from round the frame. He went to touch the handle, but had to release it imminently as it was burning hot to the touch.

Thinking quickly (Logan would be proud of him) Patton wrapped his sweater round his hand to protect himself, and opened the door.

The heat was intense, and the room like a furnace. Fire licked up the walls, the broken furniture and furnishings providing more than ample fuel for the blaze. It was bright, too bright, and the haze of the heat and the smoke made it hard to see.

He coughed, and struggled to see through the flames, when Patton suddenly realised something.

The screaming had stopped.

Patton's eyes watered with the smoke as he tried to scan the room, looking for Remus in amongst the flames. Everything was alight, flames crackling as they burned.

He looked down and saw that the fire had started to spread, creeping along the carpet.

Patton gasped in horror. He couldn't risk letting the fire grow, not when it could intrude into nostalgia and destroy Thomas's precious memories.

Patton took a step back from the blaze. With a shaking hand, he reached, and pulled the door shut again.

He shifted the door to a solid wall, sealing the room shut. Satisfied that the fire would burn itself out, and that the rest of the memories were safe, Patton cleaned the soot from his glasses.

It wasn't repression he told himself.

He would just never, ever think about that room and its terrible secret, ever again.

#UnsympAndAngstSidesBingo

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