mystic-headcanons - Tumblr blog

[mystic-headcanons]

Is it “minors,” AP? Not children? Not 7 year old Hind begging the operator on the phone to take her away from the corpses of her siblings, shot to bloody pieces in front of her? Not the little boy caught on camera saying he’s at least grateful he didn’t get martyred while bleeding from a severe leg injury? Not the two little girls dead because shrapnel fell on the encampments in Rafah from Israeli bombings and fucking killed them in front of their parents? We’re calling the little kids Israel forces murdered in cold blood minors now?

[mystic-headcanons]

[mystic-headcanons]

[mystic-headcanons]

wizard_bisan1 Today in Khan Yunis! This might be our last call, we are dying! Gaza is completely collapsing! Everything in it collapses. There were dozens of raids and three hospitals were besieged in Khanyounis: Al-Amal Hospital affiliated with the Red Crescent, Al-Khair Private Hospital, and Nasser Medical Complex, the largest health institution in the Gaza Strip.

People killed in the bombing were buried on front of our eyes in the hospital yard due to tanks blockading the streets, the wounded were on the ground without treatment and there was not enough medical staff! Massacres are still being committed

On the 109th day of the war, Khan Yunis, the largest governorate in the Gaza Strip and the one that receives the most displaced people, is under bombardment, and the number of displaced people in Rafah is more than one and a half million people, in an area of 151 square kilometers!!

We are facing hepatitis and intestinal diseases in the southern Gaza Strip, and starvation to death in the northern Gaza Strip! Yesterday, people in the northern Gaza Strip began grinding animal feed to get flour! Take to the streets, protest, strike.. make pressure on the decision makers by striking the economic movement!

Call for a ceasefire!

[mystic-headcanons]

ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN

BABY JAEHEE !!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KANG JAEHEE WE LOVE YOU

[mystic-headcanons]

hihi :3 i love your writing n i literally stay up til late reading your work, it’s sooo cute >< i’ve been having hard days at work so they cheer me up a lot!!

i was wondering if i could make a req please? basically, mc comes home from work TIRED and saeyoung pampers them!!! i would love if u include writing smth along the lines of him taking off mc’s makeup too, only if u can ofc!!

thank u sososo much <3 i appreciate u so much

thank u !!! i’m rly glad they can cheer u up and i hope ur work days get better <3 i’m in food service so i know how rough it gets and esp around the holidays. i hope u enjoy !!! <3

-

there’s two different types of exhaustion. there’s just normal exhausted, where keeping your eyes open feels like a herculean task and you can’t stop counting down the minutes until you’re finally home, and then there’s exhausted exhausted, where it seeps into your bones and burrows down, down, deep into your core. where your head is filled with cotton and all you can do is stare blankly ahead of you, unable to register anything. saeyoung is intimately familiar with the latter one, with spending long days and longer nights working for the agency, and then the hacker that had threatened the rfa.

it was late when you finally came home. you didn’t say a word to saeyoung when he’d asked about your day, didn’t spare a second glance to saeran when he’s walked into the kitchen, and instead just trudged up the stairs. “they seem worn out.” saeran commented with a frown, and saeyoung nodded in agreement. if there was one thing that could make saeran drop his tough act, it was you. (and oh, that was such a lovely thing for saeyoung to witness. truly, there is not one person he can think of who is immune to his charms. seeing his future spouse and brother get along was everything to saeyoung.) without a second thought, saeyoung picked up a bowl of whatever he had been attempting to cook and followed you up the stairs.

you didn't even look up when he came into the room. you were laying on the bed with your eyes shut, still in your work clothes. "long day?" saeyoung asked, sympathy in his voice. you didn't say anything, only nodded your head. he made his way over to the bed and sat down next to you; the pressure made you finally open your eyes. "here," he quietly said, "i brought you dinner." saeyoung held the bowl out to you, but you shook your head. "too tired." you mumbled, your eyes slipping back shut. "nope. you've still gotta eat." he said, gently nudging you. at his insistence, you slowly sat up and stifled a yawn as you did so. when you reached for the bowl, however, saeyoung shook his head and lifted the fork to your lips. "i'll feed you." he said, giving you a soft smile. "saeyoung, i can feed myself." the thought of him feeding you-- like you were an infant, or incapable, was enough to bring an embarrassed flush to your cheeks. "i know." was all saeyoung said, and he lifted an eyebrow as he waited for you to eat. how many times had you taken care of saeyoung when he felt too exhausted to even breathe? when he was simply incapable of doing anything for himself? the answer was: too many times for saeyoung to keep count. it was his turn to take care of you.

once the food was gone and saeyoung was satisfied with how much you ate, he took your hands in his and gently tugged you off the bed. "come on. let's get you washed up and take off the makeup and then we can go to bed." he softly said, leading you to the bathroom. saeyoung helped you out of your work clothes and into the bathtub that was filled with hot water. saeyoung's hands were gentle as he washed over your body, as he massaged the shampoo and then the conditioner into your hair, as he kept running his fingers through the strands and gently combing them. it was the type of softness that had tears springing to your eyes-- being treated so gently, like you're something precious and breakable, was something you weren't really used to.

it felt like hours, (in reality it was only minutes), until you were finally out of the bath. saeyoung had been the one to dry you off, to dress you in his shirt and a pair of his sweatpants because you had always found comfort in his clothes, in him. he gave a low chuckle as you were literally swaying on your feet, and he reached out to steady you. "i know, i know. but we're almost done." saeyoung murmured, grabbing your makeup wipes. he slowly began to wipe your makeup off- all the eyeshadow, the smudged eyeliner, the mascara that had ended up under your eyes, the foundation that had been mostly sweat off, the concealer, the contour. he used a few more wipes to ensure that he got everything, and then grabbed your facial cleanser and used that. you had a whole routine to clean your face that saeyoung wasn't about to go through, but he knew you'd kill him if he didn't at least use the cleanser.

once your face was cleaned and clear of any makeup, and the two of you had brushed your teeth, you were finally in bed and curled around saeyoung. "thank you." you quietly murmured, turning your head to press a kiss to the bottom part of his jaw. "you don't have to thank me. you've done the exact same thing for me many, many times before. besides, i like caring for you." saeyoung whispered back, and he kissed the side of your head as you fell into a deep, deep sleep.

[mystic-headcanons]

I want to give you another option if the other one isn’t giving you that inspiration so also for the Spotify wrapped challenge:

71 with Saeran

thank u!!! <3

the song: BETTER by royal & the serpent

lyrics i took inspo from: I don't belong here // I'm having a hard time // Stuck on the bathroom floor, and I'm spiraling and I can't stop crying // I can do better, I can be better than this

-

there were bad days, and then there were really bad days. days where saeran's mind was a black hole that he was sucked into, where he was snappy and angry and felt like destroying everything in his path.

saeran had been doing well lately. he'd been outside more, interacting with his brother more, and his mind was blissfully blank. so when he woke up in the morning, dark mood and darker thoughts, it hit him like a train. he thought he was getting better-- thought that these days of self-doubt and self-loathing was behind him. but they're not. he remains as he always has been- a burden, a mistake. weak. his breaking point had been when he looked at himself in the mirror and saw his lifeless eyes, saw how dead he looked. without thinking about it, saeran scowled and punched the mirror, watching as the glass shattered and fell around his feet. that's how she found him-- in the middle of a mess that he made. the destruction that he created. "hey," she softly said, reaching out to gently grasp saeran's arms. "what happened?"

saeran didn't realize he was crying until her hands came up to cup his cheeks, gently wiping away his tears. "i thought-- i thought i was getting better. why am i not getting better?" saeran's voice was muffled as she drew him into a hug, his head tucking under her chin.

"healing is not a linear process," she whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, "we can try again tomorrow."

[mystic-headcanons]

wanna try smth so send in a number 1-100 and a character and i’ll write a drabble based on my spotify wrapped song 🙏

[mystic-headcanons]

not a headcanon but i got diagnosed today 😎😎😎

[mystic-headcanons]

jaehee x fem reader sleepover turned romantic?

accidentally took a mini hiatus my b

hope you enjoy <3

"i can't believe you've never done this." you offhandedly commented, holding jaehee's fingers as you brushed the light yellow over her nails. "i didn't...really have many friends when i was a child. or ever. i just focused on school and then after that, my job." her voice was hushed as she spoke, not wanting to break the soft, content atmosphere surrounding you two. you were quiet for a moment as you continued to paint her nails. "that sounds pretty lonely." you finally spoke, glancing up to briefly meet her eyes. "it was, sometimes. i think i just got used to feeling alone." a pang went through you as you imagined jaehee, who was always so soft and kind, not having anyone throughout her childhood and adulthood. "well then," you began, breaking the melancholy mood that began to settle over you and jaehee, "it's a good thing i'm here with you now." she looked at you with an emotion you couldn't place. "it is." she smiled, and it felt like the sun.

"i am never letting you bake for our store." jaehee commented, barely holding back a laugh as you panicked after pouring too much salt in the cookie batter. after her nails were dry, you dragged her into the kitchen because, "i know it's not halloween anymore, but i found a recipe for pumpkin cookies and i have all the scream movies. i figured we could watch them after we bake the cookies?" (you were still a little shocked she agreed to the horror movies-- jaehee wasn't someone who was easily scared, but she did have a distaste for horror. "too unrealistic." she'd said once with a shake of her head.) "i'm a good baker!...most of the time." you added that last part on as an afterthought, before handing your phone to jaehee's outstretched hand so she could see the recipe. "i think i can fix these." jaehee hummed, and you took a step back after she handed your phone back to you. watching her as she baked became your favorite way to pass time; there was something about how relaxed she always looked, about how her shoulders lost their tension and she was able to slow down and breathe. without thinking, you lifted your phone and snapped a quick photo of jaehee. your heart skipped a few beats as you looked at it, but you quickly put your phone away and ignored the feeling.

your growing crush on jaehee was no surprise to anyone who knew the two of you. you were always looking at her-- something saeyoung likes to tease you over when he sneaks random photos. (which was something he did for everyone in the rfa; saeyoung had a habit of taking 'blackmail' photos. he never used them for anything more than lighthearted teasing.) you couldn't help it, she was just so...soft. soft smiles and soft laughter, and when you had all of her attention, it felt electrifying. she was everything to you, but you weren't even sure if she liked girls. romance was a topic the two of you seldom talked about, save for the passing mention of an ex. you forced yourself to be at peace with the fact that she'd only ever see you as a best friend and nothing more.

eventually, the cookies were done; you were certain jaehee was magic because how she managed to save your mess of an attempt was beyond you. the two of you settled on your sofa with the cookies and coffee that jaehee had brewed, and you pressed play on the first movie. another reason for choosing a horror movie was for the opportunity to be close to her. you weren't really scared at them-- and especially not cheesy nineties horror. however, if you acted scared, then you'd have an excuse to be held by jaehee. the first time you jumped, jaehee only looked at you and reached out to put a hand on your shoulder. the second time, you grabbed her arm, and she thought for a moment before looking at you. "do you...are you scared?" she asked, glancing between the movie and you. you nodded and looked at her arm that you were still holding onto. "sorry." you quietly said, dropping it. she only chuckled and reached out to pull you into her side, wrapping her arm around your shoulders. "is this okay?" she whispered after a moment, and you nodded, content.

(you didn't notice the knowing look on her face, or the way she smiled to herself when you didn't jump anymore.)

after the movie was finished, jaehee reached forward and grabbed the remote, pausing the start of the next one. "i've seen saeyoung jump out at you when you're not expecting it-- and literally grab you, and that doesn't scare you." she said, turning to look at you. "but some cheap scares in a cheesy horror movie does?" "it looked real?" you tried, your voice lifting towards the end like you were asking a question. at her deadpan expression, you sighed. "no, it doesn't." you said as you looked down. "i wasn't scared, i just......wanted you to hold me." your voice became a mumble at the last part as a blush spread across your face. "why not just say that? you could've just asked me." jaehee pointed out, and you shook your head. it took a moment for you to find your voice-- your heart was climbing up your throat, and you were certain jaehee could hear the way it pounded.

your mouth opened and closed a few times before you finally groaned and put your head in your hands. "because i didn't want to, like, be obvious about my feelings for you." you confessed, and jaehee was silent for a moment. you were scared she'd leave, but a few moments later you felt her hands circle around your wrists and gently tug them away from your face. "you like me?" she quietly asked, a smile slowly starting to form on her face. you could only nod, and a moment later she tugged you forward and pressed her lips to yours in a gentle kiss. it was short and sweet, and when she pulled back you couldn't help but lean forward to follow her. "i do hope that was okay." jaehee whispered, dropping your wrists in favor of cupping your cheek. "i've wanted to do that for...a very long time." she breathed out. your eyes fluttered open and you looked at her in awe. "why didn't you tell me?" you asked, leaning into her hand. "i've been shakespeare-level pining over you almost since we met. been writing sad little dramatic sonnets and everything." jaehee let out a quiet laugh at that and shrugged. "same reason as you, i suppose. didn't want to ruin our friendship."

"you wouldn't have ruined anything." you softly said, reaching up to gently hold onto jaehee's wrist. "i want you in any way you'll have me." jaehee only smiled at that and pulled you in for another kiss.

neither of you wanted to finish the movies after that.

[mystic-headcanons]

[mystic-headcanons]

and let the history books name joe biden, rishi sunak, justin trudeau, emmanuel macron, ursula von der leyen and every other world leader who did not step in to prevent the genocide of palestine as cold-blooded murderers. may they face a shred of the immeasurable pain and suffering they allowed to be committed against 2.2. million innocent lives.

[mystic-headcanons]

taylor wrote slut! for zen she told me herself

[mystic-headcanons]

Hot take time:

Consider, maybe Saeyoung doesn't actually have ADHD at all (This possibility is referenced multiple times). Of course I'm not really saying he doesn't, but a lot, if not all, of his symptoms do share traits of (c)ptsd. It's actually said that (c)ptsd has been often misdiagnosed as adhd. There is always a chance that he has (c)ptsd co-morbid with adhd, too. There have been studies that suggest that perhaps (c)ptsd can develop adhd and even vice versa.

/ᵎ\ ᴬˡˢᵒ, ᴵ'ᵐ ᵍᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ˢᵃʸ ᵉᵃʳˡʸ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᵃᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵃ ᵗʳᵃᶦⁿᵉᵈ ᵖʳᵒᶠᵉˢˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ᵇʸ ᵃⁿʸ ᵐᵉᵃⁿˢ, ᴵ ᵃᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡˡʸ ᵠᵘᵃˡᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ "ᵈᶦᵃᵍⁿᵒˢᵉ" ᵃⁿʸ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿ ᵒʳ ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳˢ. ᴱᵛᵉⁿ ᶦᶠ ᴵ ʷᵃˢ, ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ˢᵗᶦˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵃˢᵉ, ᵃˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖʳᵒᶜᵉˢˢ ᵒᶠ ᵈᶦᵃᵍⁿᵒˢᵉˢ ᶦˢ ᵃ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᶦᶜᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵖʳᵒᶜᵉᵉᵈᵘʳᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʳᵉᵠᵘᶦʳᵉˢ ᵈᵉᵈᶦᶜᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃ ᵗʳᵃᶦⁿᵉᵈ ᵖʳᵒᶠᵉˢˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ᵗᵒ ᵖʳᵒᵖᵉʳˡʸ ᵈᶦᵃᵍⁿᵒˢᵉ ᵃⁿʸ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿ. ᵀʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵃ ᶠᵒʳ ᶠᵘⁿ ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳ ᵃⁿᵃˡʸˢᶦˢ ᵖᵒˢᵗ ᵇᵃˢᵉᵈ ᵒⁿ ᵐʸ ᵉⁿᵗʰᵘˢᶦᵃˢᵐ ᶠᵒʳ ᵐᵉⁿᵗᵃˡ ʰᵉᵃˡᵗʰ ˢᵘᵇʲᵉᶜᵗˢ :⁾ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ᶠʳᵉᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒⁿᵈᵘᶜᵗ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵒʷⁿ ʳᵉˢᵉᵃʳᶜʰ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉˢᵉ ˢᵘᵇʲᵉᶜᵗˢ ᶦᶠ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᶦⁿᵗᵉʳᵉˢᵗ ʸᵒᵘᵎ /ᵎ\

☆ Yoosung's Hidden ADHD?? ☆

Now, Yoosung on the other hand... There are many signs he might have adhd too, to be honest. Many things are pretty subtly hinted throughout the routes, but one of the biggest pieces of evidence I've seen more blatant is that spaceship thought Jumin has about "Mr. Choi needing Mr. Kim's fidget cube". Now there is no proof that Mr. Choi is Saeyoung, or that Mr. Kim is Yoosung, in fact, I initially thought it could be his driver, but I honestly can imagine Jumin always preferring to call them more professionally by their surnames.

Yoosung is actually super bright, he's really very intelligent, but he always sees himself as stupid because he can't seem to catch up with everyone else in the organization. Almost like the God forbidden "you have so much potential, if only you could just do better". It's pretty clear that he excells in his interests and things that challenge his mind. Even the game suggests lolol is a strategy game that even Mensa certified Jumin could get into. By the end of his route, his passion to become reliable for his love pushes him to excell in his Veterenary studies.

At first sniff, Yoosung's room appears pretty clean and tidy, but there have been moments where his room is actually cluttered in his plentiful plush animals. lol Not to mention there is a whole story line where when his mom comes to visit, she makes him clean up his house.

He's pretty easily distracted too, when he intended to go to class, he convinces himself to stay home and play lolol. He is always tempted to chat up you or a friend when he's in class or supposed to be in class, or studying. Depression and anxiety can also exacerbate symptoms of neurodevelopmental disorders like adhd.

Distractibility in adhd isn't always bad thing, however. Some theorize that individuals with adhd were always inevitable, as their "distractibility" can also make them very keen observers, often with a great eye for detail, but may miss the big picture. As I've stated in a previous post, Yoosung is actually pretty perceptive and intuitive. He is quick to pick up on small details others might miss. In history people who might have had adhd-like qualities would have been beneficial with hunter and gatherers.

Before Rika's influence on him, he was rather lethargic about charity work and would always insist on deferring doing anything related when he could, almost as if a ball and chain were preventing him from doing it. It wasn't until after Rika showed him the benefits to himself, that he began to be passionate about it like Rika was/is. This isn't because Yoosung was a bad person or anything like that, but because a lack of interest in something can quite literally disable the adhd person from willing themselves to do the task until it triggers their urgency, to which in some cases the person with adhd can perform miracles, but in most cases cannot. Yoosung has also had many different interests in his past as he has stated and what you can witness within the game. Those with which he has subsequently abandoned once he decides he wants to do something else.

It is also well documented that people with adhd have difficulty controlling their emotions and that those emotions are often way more amplified than a situation might call for. Rsd (rejection sensitive dysphoria), which is not currently diagnosable in the DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), is also a common co-morbidity with adhd. RSD can cause catastrophic reactions to feelings of rejection, abandonment, or even loneliness.

I don't exactly know why I brought up RSD, but perhaps it's just to put a point on the fact that those with adhd may be impulsive and not always able to control their potentially intense emotions when they may occur. (E.g. bad endings, especially the "yandere" one.) Also, things related or inherent to RSD, may potentially create obsessiveness over things that they love and are passionate about.

Now as for the counter argument that he was very studious before he started university, sure, but for one thing, not all people with adhd perform poorly in school. There are many who still excell and do well. Not to mention, Yoosung even mentions he wasn't particularly passionate about anything while in school, he just did what he felt he needed to do, and that's better than feeling you have nothing else you want to do. One thing a person with adhd cannot stand is boredom or stagnation. The brains of people with adhd are already generally understimulated compared to the average brain, that's why they constantly feel like they need to have their mind and senses occupied with something that offers sufficient stimulation. Video games are often a popular obsession of those with adhd because many of their senses are constantly being stimulated while playing, and even better if it's something they enjoy.

Oh man, this wasn't meant to be the Yoosung might have adhd analysis post, but I went on a tangent, guess I'll keep it.

Of course, Saeyoung also has many of these symptoms, but I believe I should make the comparison (c)ptsd has with adhd a discussion for another day/post. Actually, them having so many of these things in common are probably one of the reasons why they seem to get along so well, as they would be able to understand eachother's feelings.

ᴵᶠ ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵒʳᵉ, ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ˡᶦᵏᵉˡʸ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵃᵈᵈ ᵒⁿᵗᵒ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵖᵒˢᵗ, ᵐᵒˢᵗ ᵖʳᵒᵇᵃᵇˡʸ ᵃᵈᵈ ᶦᵐᵃᵍᵉˢ ᵗᵒᵒ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵖᵒˢᵗ ᵘᵖᵈᵃᵗᵉ ⁿᵒᵗᶦᶜᵉˢ ᵒⁿ ᵐʸ ᵇˡᵒᵍ ʰᵉʳᵉ ᶦᶠ ᵃⁿʸᵒⁿᵉ ᶦˢ ᶦⁿᵗᵉʳᵉˢᵗᵉᵈ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵃᵗ. ᴼʳ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᵘᵇˢᶜʳᶦᵇᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵖᵒˢᵗ, ᴵ ᵍᵘᵉˢˢ. ᴵᶠ ᵃⁿʸᵒⁿᵉ ᵉˡˢᵉ ʷᵃⁿᵗˢ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᶦᵇᵘᵗᵉ ᵃⁿʸ ᵉˣᵃᵐᵖˡᵉˢ ᴵ ᵐᶦᵍʰᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵐᶦˢˢᵉᵈ, ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵃᵈᵈ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᵒⁿ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᶜʳᵉᵈᶦᵗ.

Edit log:

*Removing the social point until further notice

[mystic-headcanons]

you, that one anon and I, are single handedly CARRYING the autistic Jumin headcanon.

If it's alright, what would happen if MC were to help Jumin through a meltdown and/or shutdown? Or her just telling Jumin that it's okay to be him, and that they can find out who he is behind the mask together :,]?

Man this makes me wanna *hits desk repeatedly*

FR THO i love my autistic king <3 i'm sorry for the delay! i've had a very. very. eventful couple of weeks T_T

letting himself feel his emotions was something jumin was still getting used to. before her, he always imagined his feelings as something to be locked away, never to be touched and opened. a pandora's box. there was a wall between himself and his emotions, and it was better for everyone that way. of course, he was only human, and sometimes his strongest emotions would slip through. sadness would creep its way out of the box every so often, catching him in her cruel grip. there was always affection whenever he spent time with elizabeth the third, but other than that, jumin never really let himself feel anything. he had always believed that emotions were a waste of time-- that it didn't matter what he felt, because people treated him the same no matter what. no one ever cared for his emotional needs, so why would he? of course, that all changed when he met her and fell in love for the first time. she was able to get him out of his own head, was able to slowly untangle the mess that was jumin han; while he seemed cold and aloof on the outside, he had been drowning under the surface. she had been his lifeline.

she opened his eyes to so much more than emotions, though. it was her that persuaded him to get an autism diagnosis, her that stuck by his side through the assessment and the waiting, and then the confirmation. the confirmation was both a relief and an anxiety- jumin was relieved to hear that there was a reason for the way that he was, and that he wasn't just some broken mess. anxiety had quickly overpowered the relief he felt, though, because...well, powerful people weren't autistic. in his high society, there was not a single person like that. while jumin was sure a lot of them had mental illnesses, it was something taboo among the elites. something that was spoken of behind closed doors and cupped hands, in whispers while you were passing by and words with double meanings. after the diagnosis, jumin began learning about autism- both through research and through firsthand experiences. something he had to learn firsthand was shutdowns and meltdowns.

there were different types, she had explained, and it's not always a visibly emotional breakdown. sometimes it's just completely shutting down, your body present but your mind somewhere far away where no one could reach. it's your senses becoming overwhelmed to the point where your conscious mind decides to take a step back. jumin didn't understand how that could happen until he had experienced it.

it had been a long, stressful day. there were stacks of paper to be signed, crowds of important businessmen and women to be met with, and an important client backed out of a deal at the last minute and left them all scrambling. jumin's entire routine had been thrown off, and he had to meet with his father and his father's new girlfriend; she was worse than the others, had come onto him when his father wasn't in the room and invaded his personal space. by the time jumin got home, he was barely holding himself together. he breezed by his cat and his wife without a word and made his way into the bedroom where he threw himself down onto the bed and stared blankly up at the ceiling. the longer he laid there, the more detached he became from reality until jumin was unseeing and unblinking. this comatose-like state was how she found him, and she was quiet and gentle when she shut the door behind her. not that it really mattered, because she was certain that the penthouse could burn down and jumin would still be none the wiser.

she sat next to him on the bed and repeatedly carded her fingers through his hair, content to do so until he came back to reality. it took a little while, but she could see the light slowly come back to his eyes. saw how he finally started to notice his surroundings, and then notice her. "when did you come in?" he asked, voice a little rough. "mmm about half an hour ago." she responded, stopping her motions in favor of leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. "rough day?" she asked, and made a sympathetic noise when he nodded. "overwhelming." he said, letting out a sigh as he closed his eyes. "i'm sorry i went all..spacey like that."

"hey, don't apologize." she frowned, lightly tapping his forehead. "this kind of thing happens sometimes. do you want me to make an appointment with a therapist or anything?" that was a new thing, too. therapy. jumin still wasn't entirely comfortable with it, but he couldn't deny that it did help. learning more about his diagnosis and his feelings and how he felt things made it feel less lonely. like, he wasn't the only one who was messed up. jumin was about to deny her offer, but caught himself. it would always be hard to let other people in, to let them see all the mangled, messed up parts that made him, but he was trying.

there was a fear that jumin had of letting other people know of his diagnosis. other than the repercussions in his society, he feared that people would look at him and label him as autistic. like they wouldn't be able to see any other part of him. it was also the reason why he felt like he never really knew himself; he never knew where his mask ended and where he began, always too afraid to find out. he voiced this fear to her, and fell silent as she contemplated her response for a moment. "i think...the people who love you won't look at you and see your diagnosis, but rather look at it like one more piece to the puzzle. like something to help them understand you better." she said, her voice slow and clear. "as for who you are...well, i can sit here and tell you exactly who i think you are without your mask, but it's more important for you to figure that out...and i'll be right here by your side, of course." her words helped to quell the rising anxiety, and he couldn't be more grateful that someone so thoughtful and so calming was by his side. "thank you." he murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "i will....give the therapist a call myself. in a little while, though. i want to stay here with you for a moment."

[mystic-headcanons]

(MM SPOILERS) secret ending 01 episode 1 Even in that situation,the car is still intact and everybody is still alive proving that MC is a better driver than Jumin Han.

[mystic-headcanons]

The RFA goes bowling!