mythologyfolklore

[mythologyfolklore]

Sobek: Hey guys, what are your favorite kinds of pudding? Anubis: Pudding deez nuts in your mouth? Is that what you were about to say? Do you gain joy from tricking your innocent cohorts? What if I actually wanted to tell you about my favorite pudding?

Sobek: *is about to lie he wasn't going to say that*

Set: *looms behind Anubis and stares menacingly at Sobek*

Sobek: *sweating nervously* Sooo, what is your favourite pudding, Anubis?

[mythologyfolklore]

Aphrodite, the second she lays eyes on Ares: Yup! That one’s mines now :)

Ares: *blue-screening*

Ares.exe has stopped functioning. Please reboot your war god.

[mythologyfolklore]

Isis: Why would you give a knife to Horus?! Ra, shrugging: Horus felt unsafe. Isis: Now I feel unsafe! Ra: I’m sorry… Ra: Would you like a knife?

Ra, no! Don't give her a knife!

[mythologyfolklore]

I hc there's following kinds of Angels:

The Graceful Angels: any Angels who never Fell from Grace and have their home in Heaven.

The Blessed Angels: former prophets, whom God liked so much He transformed them into Angels (there's only two we know of).

The Fallen Angels: formerly Graceful Angels, who Fell from Grace as a consequence of rebelling directly against God.

The Watchers: technically Fallen Angels, but treated separately, due to Falling from Grace under different circumstances.

The Exilees: Graceful Angels, who were exiled from Heaven temporarily. They return to Heaven, once their exile is over.

[mythologyfolklore]

Isis: I didn’t want to do it, no one else wanted to do it, so I made Ra do it!

She's a trickster, a madwoman and someone you can trust with a child all in one.

[mythologyfolklore]

Nephthys: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!? Set: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

Nephthys: *confused Egyptian noises*

[mythologyfolklore]

Set: Hey I got you food, pick a number between 1 and 10. Medjed: Uh 4? Set: Wrong, no food for you. Medjed: Wait what?! WHY?! SET PLEASE—!

Damn. If he wanted her to call him a 10, he should have said so!

[mythologyfolklore]

SunJidu: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? HuaguangDadi: Strong. YuebeiXing: Weak. SunLouhuo: An idiot, is what your are.

*shrugs* I mean, technically, none of them is wrong.

[mythologyfolklore]

Ra, to the Ennead: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

Shit like this is why he's no longer completely in charge.

[mythologyfolklore]

Sekhmet: Where are my fucking keys? Horus: Sekhmet, medjed is around, can you say it a little nicer? Sekhmet: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

Horus: I'm starting to see, why Ptah left you.

[mythologyfolklore]

Horus: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

He needs a holiday. Far, far away. Maybe in Polynesia.

[mythologyfolklore]

*Merlin and Morgan Le Fay in a wizard battle* Morgan Le Fay: I CAST "MYSTERY HAIR ON TONGUE"! Merlin: Ewww! *rubs the hair off his tongue* Merlin: I CAST "THEY ALL BE TALKING SHIT ABOUT YOU"! *everyone is talking behind Morgan's back* Morgan: 😥

[mythologyfolklore]

King Arthur: Oh, look! A shooting star! Merlin: Mhh, I'll pass. Arthur: What?! Merlin: Wizards can't really wish on shooting stars, or ... anything, really. Arthur: Why not? Merlin: Well, that's how it works, the price of learning magic is that you become responsible for your own magic. No more lucky breaks, no more synchronicity, no more spontaneous moments of quiet wonder. You have to do it all yourself. And in exchange, you get to shoot fireballs out of your hands! Arthur: Was is ... worth it? Merlin: FUCK YES!

[mythologyfolklore]

Sekhmet: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? Sekhmet: A stab wound.

She'd say that.

[mythologyfolklore]

Huaguang Dadi: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Yuebei Xing: Okay. Huaguang Dadi: And make out during the scary parts. Yuebei Xing: Th- Yuebei Xing: The scary parts. Yuebei Xing: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

He's not getting any.

[mythologyfolklore]

Sobek: Hey, are you okay? Osiris: Yeah. Sobek: You don't look okay... Osiris: Then stop looking.

He's a mummified corpse, who was stitched together and revived after being chopped to pieces, how else is he supposed to look?

[mythologyfolklore]

Horus: What’s sexting? Isis: I'm not having this conversation with you.

Maybe you should, tho? Teach him about the warning signs and all?