mywildgardendream-blog

[mywildgardendream-blog]

Once upon a time I recognized my first wild plant on a hike. Hawthorn. I brought it home and made a tincture and gifted it to all of my loved ones. A spark ignited in me that day, a joy I’d rarely experienced doing anything else. I’ve always wanted to nurture my family in a way that connected us to nature, that grounded us, that made us think critically about illness and wellness. It’s been five years since I picked my first hawthorn berries. At one time I thought herbal medicine was too daunting for me, that I could never learn without a teacher. But the plants became my teacher. Playful and inviting, they showed up in the funniest places, came to me exactly when I needed them. When I look at this cabinet, I don’t just feel pride. I feel magic. The magic that flowers from soil to sole is the same magic that plants take into their roots. It’s the same magic that leaves and berries and all manner of medicinal things gift to you. I’m so grateful I’ve learned to accept them, to hear the call of plants when they want my attention. #herbalmedicinecabinet #herbalmedicine #rewildyourmedicine #wildmedicine #wildcrafting #foraging #kitchenwitch https://www.instagram.com/p/B-pWFoLgT8Z/?igshid=13mhqgkblixjc

[mywildgardendream-blog]

Pondering forgiveness. It’s a big step on a path of healing, but is it for you or for the other person? What about when you need to forgive yourself? How does forgiveness manifest in your life? Can you forgive someone even when they aren’t sorry? I’m coming to realize that I’m much more of a grudge holder than I thought. I dug through my garden and found hundreds of fine roots, anger and resentment buried deep under the soil to quietly germinate or hibernate or both. I’m wondering now if I’ve ever really forgiven or if I’ve just suppressed. I’d like to change, to start with forgiving myself for the things I didn’t know, the things I didn’t do and couldn’t fix. But how? How is a word so easy to say—I forgive you—-so hard to do? Do you forgive? Do you forgive yourself? #forgiveness #healing #selflove https://www.instagram.com/p/B8iq9wHA9Jh/?igshid=c1u7lypr89xu

[mywildgardendream-blog]

Fresh and sparkling and fragrant, just like me. https://www.instagram.com/p/B7Zc40XnWeZ/?igshid=ihtymaxzspcj

[mywildgardendream-blog]

Rainy season is usually my favorite season. Of course, living on the Puget Sound, most seasons are rainy. Winter has a particular flavor of rain though and I used to really love it. This year, I’m craving the sunshine and heat. I miss summer so desperately. It felt like a time of creation, dreaming the days away in the garden and the fields and the forest. Maybe it’s because I can’t get out of the house as much with the baby in tow. Rain or shine, I used to be out in those woods every day. Whatever it is, winter feels like waiting. Anyone else got the winter blues? Are you already plotting out your spring garden like I am? #winterblues #rainyseason #pnwproblems #wildflowers #summer #throwback #foraging https://www.instagram.com/p/B6_X46hgF6U/?igshid=ksp1fz9bkprp

[mywildgardendream-blog]

The sun seems to be setting as soon as it’s high enough to touch the horizon. I used to dread these longest winter nights, feeling suffocated by short, dim winter days. My nights are always long now, stretching on for endless dark hours while my arms grow heavy with a feeding babe. This inner part of me that used to stir, inexplicably restless, has quieted. I sit silently in a room blue with moonlight, listening to the cry of a vixen in the forest, the occasional call of a lone owl, and the soft snoring of the two people I love most in the world, and think maybe I could live in this winter darkness forever and be at peace. #wintersolstice #peace https://www.instagram.com/p/B6WVPNAgQrH/?igshid=mz1wjgeqpi0a

[mywildgardendream-blog]

It was the equinox and I was many days past my due date. We decided since the baby was stubbornly refusing to come, we would encourage him by walking the foothills and looking for mushrooms. It was the last time I will get to go mushroom hunting for a while and it was really, really perfect. The fog was thick and the rain was freezing but we found more mushrooms than we ever dreamed we would. I started working on a poetry project when we got home that day and it took me until today, one day before autumn is over, to finish it. Something about having a baby completely derails your plans and destroys your organization. A lot of people have been asking about my videos and all I can say is, I like doing them and I’d like to continue. Will I be able to? Sometimes. If you listen closely you can probably hear a baby snoring in my latest video. #autumn #equinox #chanterelles #wildmushrooms #mushroomhunting #41weekspregnant #pnwrain #500yearspregnant https://www.instagram.com/p/B6To6WNg41i/?igshid=1orkp8ddto7bd

[mywildgardendream-blog]

That late autumn sun is so rare and so precious. When it comes after days of gloom and rain it feels brighter, warmer, like it penetrates my skin and bones and gets into my very soul. I’ve started a new practice with the babe. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, if the sun peeks her shy face from between the clouds we bundle up and hurry outside to turn our heads up at that nourishing light. Most days it’s only for ten minutes or less before the rain comes but it makes such a difference in my spirit. It softens the harder times and evaporates the frustration right out of us both. #sunshine #ritual #natureprovides #myforest https://www.instagram.com/p/B6EBvKpgPWU/?igshid=nsig9i7itd9d

[mywildgardendream-blog]

How did we suddenly go from summer to almost winter? I feel like I lost time. #summer #itscold #andbrown #fairyforest https://www.instagram.com/p/B5vRVB-g1hA/?igshid=aky3aknmwif2

[mywildgardendream-blog]

Once, it was just you and I. You were there inside me, the sweetest tiniest secret. Then it was your daddy and me, sharing secret smiles over our sweet secret. When you were born I was afraid that we might lose our special little secret. You were out in the world and there were so many people to see you, to know you, to love you. I should have been happy, and I guess I was, but I also quietly grieved for the tie between us when you swam in the oceans of my womb. Now each morning you wake with a smile, you reach for me with tiny hands, you call for me in words that only I understand, and I realize that we have a new secret, you and I. It’s still us, whispering love to each other without words. You speak my language and I speak yours. #sweetsecret #motherhood #postpartum #postpartumfeels https://www.instagram.com/p/B5stfZ3gFcX/?igshid=1myukvu7uv7pd

[mywildgardendream-blog]

I’m feeling terribly nostalgic today. I don’t miss the cramped space or the final layer of dirt on our sheets or cooking over an alcohol stove. What I do miss is opening the door and being in the middle of nowhere. I miss the woods and the deserts and the mountain ranges. I miss the freedom. Lately it feels like all I do is chores. I’m just trying to manage which means I don’t really do anything besides subsist. This is just a season, just like living in a van was just a season, but it feels a little like I’m in winter, waiting for the spring. #throwback #vanlife https://www.instagram.com/p/B5qGwHPggOp/?igshid=1u6vc3cm1sl6r

[mywildgardendream-blog]

My potato pal #maxthemonster #adventurepups #homestead #potatotower https://www.instagram.com/p/B5nxj6Tg-uI/?igshid=4tlhvl8sfzla

[mywildgardendream-blog]

It’s getting cold and grey. I do so miss the colors of fall when they go. #fallcolors #mushrooms #getoutside https://www.instagram.com/p/B5jrgKIAXHb/?igshid=1qe263ccgnijz

[mywildgardendream-blog]

I have so so so much to be thankful for this year. My body that made space for a new soul, my husband who supported me in this new journey and welcome our son with loving arms, my family who fed and nurtured me throughout the entire experience, our garden for providing for us, and the forest for gifting us so much abundance. This has been a bumpy, beautiful year and my heat is brimming with gratitude. I have been humbled over and over again by all of the love and goodness in the world. #grateful #natureprovides https://www.instagram.com/p/B5gcrejg0Qv/?igshid=uhvgvc2remqh

[mywildgardendream-blog]

That beautiful ruby color and my favorite liquid gold. Almond oil infused with St. John’s wort and cottonwood buds for seasonal salves. I will always be enchanted by those sunshine summer flowers turning into a beautiful red elixir. That’s real magic ✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/B5Q6kvNAeQn/?igshid=17txlypmr7b3h

[mywildgardendream-blog]

This fall we spent so many hours walking our property in an attempt to get the little one to join us. In that time we found so many new treasures. It seems that every time we step into these woods, we find more abundance. At first glance, I was a bit disappointed by the 4 acres of forest because many of the previous tenants decided to use it as their dumping ground. But it has potential and it has many interesting secrets, like the #HorseChestnut trees that Kyle found growing by the railroad tracks. There are mysterious pits dug into the ground, emptied safes that I’m sure came from bank robbers that hopped a train and jumped off on our property decades ago, and what appears to be evidence of a black bear that comes and goes. #foraging #natureprovides #plantmedicine #forestsecrets #getoutsideandplay #nature #autumnharvest https://www.instagram.com/p/B5GGm0-A7O0/?igshid=xtck4yb56xkn

[mywildgardendream-blog]

More fall feels. Looks like the deer 🦌 wrecked our pumpkin patch this year but at least we got corn. Homegrown popcorn is mostly novel and probably not a worthwhile investment given the amount of space we have. Oh well! It was pretty and someday soon we will be eating two small handfuls of popcorn grown with love. #homegrown #homesteading #tomthumbcorn #popcorn #growyourownfood #gardening #fall #fallfeels https://www.instagram.com/p/B2XNQMHAUMd/?igshid=bcqqqfovxymc

[mywildgardendream-blog]

From the time I was old enough to recognize my body as more than a tool for play, arms for climbing and legs for running, I had decided there were something wrong with it. Many somethings. There was a list of inadequacies that I counted off in my head every day. Over time I learned to feel better about myself, to love myself for how I was built, but I don’t think my mind shifted nearly enough until I got pregnant. Suddenly every extra inch of fat on my hips was a good thing. Suddenly my body was this amazing and powerful creator. “It’s because I’m a vessel for life now,” I told myself. About three months in something so simple and ridiculous occurred to me. My body was always a vessel for life. It was a vessel for MY life. It has always existed for me to steer. Every experience I’ve ever had was in this skin, with these arms and these legs and this belly. I’ve tasted good food and seen beautiful sites, felt pain and pleasure and everything in between with this body. I’m so grateful that I have been gifted the power to create life. I’m in awe of my womb and how it has grown gravid. Someday, when I no longer have two hearts bearing inside of me, I hope I still feel that awe. #pregnancy #selflove #vesseloflife #thirdtrimester #pregnantmusings https://www.instagram.com/p/B2XBj4IgPvq/?igshid=1w5bkc2653l4a