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Sylvia Plath, in a letter to Edward Cohen, wr. c. 1953 from The Letters of Sylvia Plath Vol. I: 1940-1956

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I wanted very much not to be where I was. In fact part of the trouble seemed to be that where I was wasn’t anywhere at all. My life felt empty and unreal and I was embarrassed about its thinness, the way one might be embarrassed about wearing a stained or threadbare piece of clothing. I felt like I was in danger of vanishing, though at the same time the feelings I had were so raw and overwhelming that I often wished I could find a way of losing myself altogether, perhaps for a few months, until the intensity diminished. If I could have put what I was feeling into words, the words would have been an infant’s wail: I don’t want to be alone. I want someone to want me. I’m lonely. I’m scared. I need to be loved, to be touched, to be held. It was the sensation of need that frightened me the most, as if I’d lifted the lid on an unappeasable abyss.

Olivia Laing, The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone

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Olivia Laing, The Lonely City

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🌻🌼🌷🌸🏵️🌹🌺💐🍀

Some flowers for anyone not feeling their best today

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Sylvia Plath, aged 25, from "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath" (dated March 8, 1958)

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Sylvia Plath, aged 17, journal entry #28, from "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath" (c. September 1950)

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In a deal with a fae, you must give up something you hold dear. Whether it be your name, your first born, or something else, it must be held dear. You, gave up your addiction. It worked.

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Mouchette (1967) dir. Robert Bresson

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trying to heal, while trying to grieve, while trying to live, while trying to forgive, while trying to love, while trying to be loved

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gps but for a way out of this

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[said with increasing amount of distress] i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this

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calling out for my mom in a moment of extreme pain and terror, but taking an aside to explain to the audience that i mean i want the concept of a mother as caregiver and protector to defend and rescue me rather than my literal mom, whose presence would neither bring me comfort nor improve the situation

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ive got some grief stuck in my ribs yes

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my god, there is never any time to recover from the world

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“I wait all day for the silence of the night.”

— Savannah Black

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oh ignore the noise that was just the shattering of my heart

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