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sext: i don’t ignore you as much as i ignore other people
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Atlas: Steady now! Your genetic code is being rewritten. Just hold on and everything will be fine.
Jack: *panics* *screams* *falls of balcony*
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My friend was walking and found this Godzilla toy in the Trash so he put a shirt on it, named him John, and then took him out to T.G.I. Fridays and then Dinner was on John.
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my thing about alistair is that the world was so cruel and mean to him and he still came out with a goofy smile and a big heart
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thinking about how many moms in the world have had to wash their son’s meninist shirt
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willurl:
just a reminder not to bring your kinks into public, especially with BDSM. that stuff stays in the bedroom. like queerness, BDSM is nothing to be ashamed of. UNLIKE queerness, BDSM is inherently sexual. please don’t get someone to chain you up to a bike rack or tug you around on a leash near taco bell. sex positivity is good, but make sure you’re still practicing sex safety - and that includes making sure children don’t get exposed to stuff that’s legitimately confusing and hard to understand!
also, for survivors of abuse?? don’t do this because survivors are in public spaces? because you have no way of knowing who has or has not survived an abusive relationship and by exposing them to things that traumatized them you are actively BEING DISRESPECTFUL AND HARMING THEM? because not being “ashamed of your kink” is not an excuse to throw it in people’s faces?
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liam covered zayn’s part in night changes. this is what they sound like together.
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sometimes all u can say is “yikes” and just move tf on lol
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Why Anders and Bethany are my Dragon Age brotp.
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Justice: Why do you not strike a blow against your oppressors? Ensure they can do this to no one else?
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A parody of Uptown Funk, featuring the stylin’ Dragon Age 2 crew as lead in this rendition by Varric Tethras (background vocals provided by the DA2 crew, especially Fenris and Anders). Hawke is over in the corner jamming on the guitar in a pink suit jacket.
Major thanks and inspiration comes from niklisson and their hilariously wonderful Hightown Funk art which can be found here. —-> (x)
Also a great deal of thanks to qunaributts, officialvarrictethras, culllenrutherford and various anons and other followers for helping write the lyrics for this! You’re all the reason I was laughing while trying to record this damn thing.
Again, a link to the glorious person niklisson and their artwork that inspired this. —> (x)
Varric and additional voices/vocals done by: lightgetsout (me!)
And of course all thanks and respects go to Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars for this incredible song.
Hightown Funk lyrics:
This town That Cone of Cold Knight-Commander That Deep Roads gold This one for them Rose girls Them dock girls Straight masterpieces Stylin’ while in Yeah, Kirkwall is the city Got boots on, my chest hair showin’ Gotta kiss myself I’m so pretty.
I’m too hot (Fenris: hot damn) Call Aveline and Donnic, man I’m too hot (Anders: hot damn) Make a dragon wanna retire, man I’m too hot (Fenris: hot damn) Say my name you know how I am I’m too hot (Anders: hot damn) Am I bad ‘bout those sovereigns, Break it down.
Girls hit your hallelujah (x3) ‘Cause Hightown Funk gon’ give it to you (x3)
Well it’s Saturday night and we in the spot Don’t believe me just watch (come on!)
Don’t believe me just watch (x4) Hey, hey, hey, oh
Stop. Wait a minute. Fill my mug put some piss-ale in it. Take a sip, sign a book Hawke! Get the check! Known from Orlais to Denerim, to Antiva City, If we show up, we’ll be kicked out Fast enough to make us dizzy
I’m too hot, (Fenris: hot damn!) Call Aveline and Donnic, man I’m too hot (Anders: hot damn!) Make a dragon wanna retire, man I’m too hot (Fenris: hot damn!) Say my name, you know who I am, I’m too hot, (Anders: hot damn!) Am I bad about those sovereigns, break it down-
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo) (x3) 'Cause Hightown funk gon' give it to you (x3) Saturday night and we in the spot Don’t believe me just watch (come on!)
Don’t believe me just watch (x4) Hey, hey, hey, oh
Before we leave, Let me tell y’all a little something, Hightown funk you up, Hightown funk you up; (x4) Come on, dance, Jump on it, If you’re magic, then flaunt it If you rogue-ish, then own it Don’t brag about it, come show me
Come on, dance, Jump on it, If you’re magic, then flaunt it Well it’s Saturday night and we in the spot Don’t believe me just watch (come on!)
Don’t believe me just watch
Hightown funk you up
Hightown funk you up (Fenris: say whaaaat?)
(and so it continues)!
Thanks for listening!
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The male LIs (and a couple non-LIs) of Dragon Age wanted to get together to share their own Valentine’s Day messages with you all. With a little personal touch to start things off by Varric.
As always, all the writing credit for the Valentine’s goes to the ever brilliant and wonderful spicyshimmy!! Go give her a follow and tell her how amazing she is!
And all the voice impressions are done by lightgetsout
We hope you enjoy them and that you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!
Below is the script for each character’s message:
Zevran: The only leather goods I want for Valentine’s Day this year are your goods in leather. Ahahaha… It is lucky you love me, no?
Dorian: Let me bring your cold, dead heart back to life this Valentine’s Day.
Fenris: “Take another little piece of my heart now, Valentine—” Varric, this time, you have gone too far. I will not say this. You cannot make me.
Blackwall: I may not be you, but I can talk for hours about how great you are, Valentine. Just ask the Grey Wardens.
Anders: This year, Valentine, I won’t drown the world in blood to keep you safe. I got you some chocolates instead. You’re very welcome.
Solas: Let the Dread Wolf take you this Valentine’s Day.
The Iron Bull: Romantic plans? That’s all well and good, but where are the chocolates? The little ones with the Orlesian guimauves? And the sprinkles. And the fudge… Ahhhhhh, the fudge. Will there be fudge?
Sebastian: Neither the heir nor the spare, but you’ve caught my heart in your snare. [chuckles] Varric wanted me to rhyme that with ‘underwear’.
Alistair: Here, take this down, courtly scholars. Official business. Very important. Ahem. ‘Roses are red—I got you one already—something something that rhymes with already. Teddy? Steady? Freddy?’ Do we know a Freddy, and is he romantic? Why are you still writing this down? I’m clearly thinking out loud, it’s not dictation when I don’t—
Cole: Roses are red, violets are blue—blue as deep water, waves lick the sundered shore, stones slapped slick to silence, hull docked on rocks. …Varric wins the bet. I didn’t finish the poem.
Cullen: Nice, ah… Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it? That is— I suppose I should have thought about this before I— Right. Well. Happy Valentine’s Day. If that’s the sort of thing you— Maker’s breath.
Tamlen: My love for you is like the Deep Roads—never forgotten, seemingly unending, but lost to the darkness beneath, lethallan.
Varric: And I’m still not a love interest. Happy Valentine’s Day!
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If you ever feel sad just remember that when the British invaded india and wanted to get rid of all the snakes so they gave money to people for bringing them a dead cobra and then people started to breed cobras to get money and once the government realised, they dropped the reward so everyone just released their cobras so basically they ended up with way more cobras than they started with.
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