namakaeggs

[namakaeggs]

i want someone to love me so much that lust truly does feel sinful

[namakaeggs]

movie love | 2

Wattpad: @namakaeggs

You wake up to a leftover bag of takeout in the fridge. With last nights less than desirable events, you can't help but gleam at this gift sent from above. Or more literally, Sasha Braus and her love for food.

"Morning." Sasha yawns out as she walks into the kitchen behind you with her nest of brown tangled hair that she wears in a scrunchie. Turning toward her, you reply with a good morning and grab the bag from the refrigerator.

"Oh no you don't," Sasha defends as she grabs the bag from you, "that is a five Michelin star meal that is not going to be wasted on your hungover breakf-"

"One, no such thing as a five Michelin star, you idiot," You interrupt and grab the bag back, "and two, I am not hungover."

"Wait, you're not?" She questioned, eyebrows raising.

"Not hungover. Not an ounce in me since we finished the Tito last week."

Sasha turns around and grabs a fork from the drawer. "Thought you were at the frat, t's all."

"They had a party last night?" You sit down at the kitchen island while looking at Sasha's expression, trying to read the answer to your question before she says it herself.

"Yeah," she says after she shoves a bite of cold pasta in her mouth, "they threw a whole welcoming party for Eren. "

"Who even is that guy?" You remark arrogantly, shoving your own fork in the takeout dish. "This is the second time I've heard about him in like the last twenty four hours." You say laughing.

"You don't know who Eren is?" She almost sounds offended. "He's friends with the guys. And, like, practically all of Paradis and Marley."

"Bro," you say with a full mouth of food, "I've literally never seen this guy a day in my life."

"That's a load of shit!" Sasha laughs. "You had to of. There's no way you don't know who he is!"

"Need a face to the name." You say nonchalantly, jabbing your fork to grab more pasta.

"He's a womanizer, that's all you need to know." Sasha jokes.

"Oh really? And what makes him such a big prize?"

"His dick apparently, he's like massive or something but that's kinda gross to think about."

"Oh, gross Sash!" You joke in disgust. You start to comprehend that this Eren guy isn't just some name who haunts the town, he's actually a real person.

Sasha walks around the island. "He's such a sweatheart though!!" She pinches your cheeks. "-Makes it hard to believe all the stories girls have about him are true."

"Oh brother." You roll your eyes. "What, so he's like a freak freak or something?"

Sasha leans in, whispering in your ear, "If you're so curious, go and find out." She giggles.

Your stomach drops and you begin to feel your face heat up. Sasha then pulls away and shivers in disgust. "Ew, I did not just say that about Eren." You can't help but feel your cheeks heat up and your stomach fluttering. You push down your confusing feelings for the meantime because a guy you've never meet shouldn't make you feel like this.

"What! So I'm not worthy of this supposed sex symbol that happens to be gracing everyone in these parts with his presence?"

"Girl, you're so hot. Any guy would fall to his knees for you if he knew what's best for him." She says, walking out of the kitchen. "Also!" She screams from the living room, "We're going out tonight, so don't make other plans."

"Okay!" You scream reply back, finishing the rest of the pasta and wanting nothing more to do than match the name to the face to quench your curiously. If he went to school in Marley and lives him Paradis, you probably saw him before . You could just ask Sash what he looks like, but you don't want her to get the wrong idea about your intentions. You could care less about the sex reputation he's acquired, and if you thought too hard on it, you might even recall some of your classmates in college mentioning his name in passing while speaking on that topic. Actually, even in high school you can remember his name being brought up in conversations with your friends, going in through one ear and out the other. You frankly dismissed it all, him having no attachment to you, but now? You feel confused and honestly deprived. Everyone knows this guy but you, and you have a serious case of FOMO. Which also means that, yes, you'll be going wherever Sasha takes you tonight.

—

"I am not wearing that."

"Why not?" Sasha defends, holding up an article of clothing that is comparable to a piece of dental floss.

"I'm trying to be.. what's the word?" You ponder, eyes hitting the ceiling.

"Uh. Oh I know! A negative Nancy?" Sasha responds smiling from ear to ear.

You ignore her and grab whatever she's holding. You can't even tell if it's a top, bottom, or undergarment. "This." You say while swinging it in her face. "Is a no!"

"Ugh! C'mon y/n, live a little!" Sasha pushes you with her arm. "You know what, here." She says as she hands you a dress.

It's satin. Red. Short. It's a halter and flows a little at the bottom. Typically, you'd go for a comfier look for a party, but tonight you feel a little risky.

"Alright." You respond in a mock defeated tone and you start to put it on.

"Yay!" Sasha squeals as she claps her hands. "You're going to look so cute!"

—

The autumn air is too crisp for comfort, and you're honestly wishing you brought a sweater. When you and Sasha left the house, you were slighty horrified at the idea that you may have overdressed. Pairing your dress with some black lace tights and doc martin boots, as well as some jewelry stacks, you were pretty satisfied with your outfit regardless. As you and Sash drive to the frat, you see that most of the people heading that way are dressed up too. You sigh in relief.

The road you're taking is right along the beach. From Sasha's car, you can see high schoolers mingling around bonfires, a Paradis kid's rite of passage.

"Remember when the cops tried to get us to give them some white claws junior year?" You reminisce out loud while looking at the bonfire.

Sasha turns to the beach as well. "And we had to give them a whole box cause they threatened to call our parents!" We look at each other, the memories flooding in and we laugh at the idiocy.

"Would've called our parents if we were all Marley kids." You remark. "Their rite of passage is an overnight jail stay."

"Says the girl who lived in Marley." Sasha responds, making a turn.

"The girl who lived in Marley actually only hung out with the Paradis kids." You remind her. Sasha laughs like what you said was hilarious, and covers her laugh with her hand before pulling into an empty spot.

"You guys are so..similar?! Are you guys twins?"

"Who?"

"The hot topic of the rumor mill, duh! You connect the dots, girl." Sasha states like it's obvious, getting out of the car. But to you, it isn't obvious. You didn't really partake in the neighborhood gossip often and honestly had no idea what she was talking about. You get out as well and start walking toward the frat.When you both get to the door, a familiar face greets you two.

"Who invited you guys?" A boy with dirty blonde hair asks.

"Shut up, Jean!" You argue back jokingly. A smile on playing on both of your faces as you shut down his sarcasm.

He throws his hands up in defeat. "Fine, fine. guess you guys can go in." Jean mock sighs,  getting a kick out of his own joke.

"Yeah! We will!" Sasha says, giving him a punch to the side. He makes a noise mixed of pain and protest, mostly pain, and you and Sash enter the frat.

—

Taking your final sip of your Mikes lemonade, you can feel a buzz, especially considering you and Sasha already had a few shots earlier when you had arrived. The music is so loud that you can feel your heart chasing the beat. Pushing your hair out of your face, you head to the kitchen to throw out your empty drink.

A few people are lingering around the kitchen, chatting and having conversations. You can vaguely recognize them all, small town perks, and press your heel down on the can so that the lid opens. After disposing of your drink, you decide that you should find your friends.

After walking around, trying to avoid all the flirting couples that look like they want to swallow each others tongues, or already are for that matter, you go back to the kitchen, taking a new can of whatever was in the cooler. Eventually, you find them all playing beer pong in the gaming room.

"Y/n!" Historia slurs beside Ymir, who you assume is her teammate for the round. Connie and Jean are on the opposite side. "Come join us!!" You can tell she is drunker than you.

You listen and sit on the large couch that overlooks the table.

"So Min'" you turn to the blonde boy beside you, his cheeks rosy and his eyes watching Ymir throwing her ball in and Connie having to throw back a shot. "Having fun?"

"Almost too much." He replies while glancing at his phone for a second because of a notification. He looks back up at you, and his eyes shine a bright blue. "I'm waiting for my turn to play"

"Me too." You agree, leaning your head back against the back of the couch.

"Hey y/n." Mikasa greets you as she sits right beside you on the couch.

"Mika! I haven't seen you in so long!" You giggle in excitement as you hug her.

"I know. We need to have another sleepover with Sasha." She states. You make a sound of approval, and you, Armin, and Mikasa fall into conversation.

"I actually almost joined the football team."

"There's no way." You say.

"How much have you had to drink, Armin?" Mikasa asks, concern lacing her tone because in a literal sense, "Armin" and "football" should not be in the same sentence, ever.

Armin laughs while holding his unlocked phone. "I really almost did! I was at the first tryout and they called me back, I didnt go because that's when Eren got into Marley's school."

"Oh, right." Mikasa says as her confusion is cleared. On the contrary, you feel even more confused than before.

"Yeah, I said I'd only join if he did, then he went off to private school." Armin scoffs, but it's lighthearted and warm.

"Is he coming toni-"

"I still have no idea who that guy is." You mutter, interrupting.

Armin and Mikasa gasp and you look at them like they're crazy. "What!" They exclaim at the same time as they start to question you.

"Eren this, Eren that!" You say out loud. "I don't even think he's real at this point, who even is he?"

"Me."

You turn to see who replied to your small outburst, and you stop your jaw dropping before it can.

Wearing a tight fitting tee and sweats, and to your dismay, holding a bottle of Sierra Mist and adorning a lip piercing. You can't tell if you want to runaway or freeze up.

His piercing green eyes bore into yours. His hair not long, but somehow loosely tied back. "You owe me." He states.

"I'm sorry?" You say in confusion.

He gestures to his bottle of Sierra Mist, which ironically is empty. He licks his piercing and your stomach flips.

Realization dawns on you. "I told you I would pay for it."

"Yeah, while you were taking up half the screen of the movie I fucking payed money to watch."

"I already said I was-"

"Hey, Eren!" Armin interrupts, trying to deescalate the situation, looking between you and the guy from the movies. Another realization dawns on you. The guy from the movies that you spilled the drink on and Eren are the same person. You got so frozen up in the moment that you completely forgot to unmix the two people, because they're actually just one person.

"Why did you just spawn in like that?" Mikasa laughs. You're still trying to comprehend these two people are actually one. "Could've texted us you were coming."

Eren looks at Mikasa. "I texted Armin."

"I can vouch for that." Armin interjects, waving his phone with the messages app open.

"Whatever." Mikasa takes a swing of her white claw. "Oh y/n, that's who we were talking about by the way." She says, pointing her index finger at Eren.

"Oh yeah, there he is!" Armin joins in, both he and Mikasa just pointing at him while you and Eren fight the urge to not to punch each other in the face.

"I can see that." You say rolling your eyes, hoping that a black hole happens to open up under you and suck you into a universe where this wasn't happening. The longer Eren stands close to you, the more attractive you realize he is. His eyebrows are closely knit, annoyance emanating from his body.

"I've meet you before."

"Uh, yeah?" You state the obvious.

"Then why are you acting like you have no idea who I am?" Eren scoffs.

"Oooo! Drama at the couch!" Connie immaturely screams from the beer pong game. You opt to ignore Connie for the time being.

"Oh y/n, that's him!" Historia says nodding at you after her attention is diverted to the couch by Connie's drunk instigating.

"Yeah, Eren Jeager in da house!" Connie screams. "Jeager bomb!!!!!" He throws a ball and completely misses the cup. Ymir bursts out laughing and Jean slaps his forehead.

"Oh my gosh, I get it, okay!" You say out loud, the alcohol in your system making your cheeks heat up, as well as from the embarrassment you're feeling. And when Erens eyes flit down to your chest, your flight mode kicks in, "you know what! I'll go throw these out" as you grab the empty bottles that Armin, you, and Mikasa have accumulated in the past hour, which is only about four or five cans, and leave the gaming room with your heart beating in your ears.

You were livid and needed to get out of there. You weren't mad at your friends, but you wished they could've helped you and not made it seem like you were going around desperate for a sliver of information on Eren. You were livid at the fact that Eren is a complete ass. He's a sweetheart? Really, Sasha? You open the trash can and throw the drinks out. Eren was just as rude as he was in the theater. To think that you were actually excited when you heard his name-

"Still owe me."

You instinctively flinch due to the fact that you were just thinking about him. "Uh." You turn around to face him. He leans on the opposite counter, confidence and charisma flowing off of him, and you suddenly see why he has such a reputation. "Maybe if you weren't such a bitch about it," You explain slowly, "I'd be more than happy to pay it back."

Eren did not expect that response, holding a hand to his heart. "Ouch." He feigns hurt. "I buy myself a drink, a girl spills it, and now I'm the bitch?"

"You could've been so much nicer about it!" You defend.

"I could say the same thing about you. What were you saying back there? Who even is that guy?" He thinks, tousling his hair. " Yeah, that's what you said." He takes a sip of from his red solo cup. "Why don't you preach what you teach?"

"Ugh! You grunt as you take another mikes lemonade from the cooler and pop it open, mostly because you can't stand to look at him anymore. "I meant that I didnt know who you were! As in Eren, not the fact I knew you from the movies. I didn't know your name."

"How do you not know who I am?" He says. It comes off as an arrogant question to you, and you scoff in reply.

"I don't care who you are." You let out, the alcohol in your system making you testy.

"Well, now you do." Eren says, pushing off the counter and looking you up and down. "See you around." As he walks away, he turns around "Oh, nice dress." Turning back around with a smirk and disappearing around a corner.

"Ugh!" You say to yourself, taking a giant swing of your drink. A night full of confusion, yet there's one thing you know now, something you're certain of.

You hate Eren.

[namakaeggs]

movie love | 1

erenxreader, enemiestolovers, erens a frat boy( bringing back the 2020 fanon eren phase)

Coming back from Wall Rose Cinema, you could feel the weight of the day weighing on your shoulders, or better yet, crushing them entirely. The snack line was too long, the movie seat was suspiciously sticky, and you drank too much of your Diet Pepsi( it's all they had) and you had to hold in your pee for the rest of the movie, because what ass makes everyone move while what they payed for is playing on the big screen?

Unfortunately, you. In the process of maneuvering your way past the bodies of people attempting to squish themselves to make room for you to exit, you kicked a guys drink that he convienatlly placed on the floor, causing it to spill on the floor, on his shoes, on yours, and just, what a mess.

"What the fuck?" He groaned, throwing his arms up and looking at his friends in disgust.

"Oh my God! I'm so, so sorry," You loudly whispered back. "- I'll pay for your drink!  I didn't see it-"

"Can you fucking move?" One of his friends reply.

You blushed in pure embarrassment and scurried to the bathroom. To pee, and to wallow in the second hand embarrassment you're feeling for yourself.  Washing your hands in the bathroom sink didn't drown out the guys friends snickers and rude comments replaying in your head.

Fortunately, you never have to go to that theatre again. Because you won't be going anytime soon, out of embarrassment.

Wall Rose Cinema is Paradis' local cinema. Paradis is a relatively small town, having one high school, a college, and small businesses lined up at every block. It's your typical podunk town. The one where teens throw bonfires on the beach, everybody knows everybody, and getting into trouble without facing the consequences is a given.

You drop your bag on your bedroom chair and sigh. You honestly don't even want to think about Paradis for the time, it's too soon after your movie fiasco. With how closely everyone is connected here, it's most likely your friends know those guys one way or another. You head to the bathroom to remove your makeup and brush your teeth.

In the middle of your skincare routine, Historia calls.

"What's up?"

"Hey girl! How was the movie?" Historia says. You can hear her smile through the phone.

"Ugh, you know, -was alright. It wasn't really accurate to the book at all.." You drone on and on about what you liked and the opposite.

"I wish I was there with you!!" Historia groans, "who else was there?"

You sigh. "Just me, but- shut up, I hear you laughing about that! Yeah, just me and the fucking guy I spilled his own drink on."

"No way! Was he like- super upset or chill?"

"Pissed. Totally deserved, but his carrot head friend was like, ugh, making rude comments even after I passed by them.." You reply. Saying it out loud is almost as embarrassing as living it, and you instinctively turn away from your own reflection in the mirror as a result.

"Wait, Floch?" Historia shrieks in amusement.

"Who?"

"Floch, he went to our high school! He hung out with the guys, but he's such a forgettable face."

"Deadass?" You laugh, "Who did he hang out with back then?"

"Uhh, ya know, Jean, Armin, Connie, Eren.." Historia lists out while thinking of more. "-think that's it?"

"Ohhh," You say in realization, "wait, who's Eren?"

"He hangs out with the guys. He went to Marley for school, so ya know."

You make another sound of realization and continue talking with Historia as you finish in the bathroom. After you guys say your good nights, you get dressed in a tank top and shorts and crawl into bed.

Kicking off your socks, you try to remember Floch, but you simply can't. He never was on your radar and never made any appearances in your life other than tonight at Wall Rose. You hope that that pattern stays true. You're not desperate to see him. Or his friends. Or the guy you put in a sticky situation.

Marley is the town right next to Paradis. You grew up in Marley, but you went to Paradis High School because Marley only has a private high school. That's where you met Historia and the rest of the girls. Now that you're in college, you live with Sasha in Paradis.

"Y/n, trash day is tomorrow!" Your roommate yells. You groan from under the covers, obviously, because you can hear the front door opening and Sasha saying goodbye. You have to take out the trash tonight.

"Ugh, damn it, Sasha!" You curse out as you go to gather the trash bags and head out the door.

The night is cold and the air hugs your shoulders too tight, goosebumps breaking out over your body as you cross the lawn. You curse yourself for not thinking of bringing a heavier layer with you. It's only October, but the sea isn't as warm as it was, so the wind isn't warm enough for you to feel cozy. As you set the bags down, trying your hardest not to get a whiff of the trash smell, you hear hoots and hollers from across the street. Your face drops when you see the same group of guys from the movie theatre. You recognize now that most of them are guys from Marley. All but Floch, who even without his red hair would be an outlier.

"Hey! Feeling cold?" One of the guys catcall as his friends punch him in a bro to bro-agreement ritual. It dawns on you that you're wearing a tank top. And that you're not wearing a bra.

"Fuck this shit." You roll your eyes, still setting the trash bags down. You can see them jumping up and down, staring at you and at each other, walking down the streets still looking and laughing in amusement. Like you're a movie they payed to see.

One guy lurks behind them,  not particularly participating in their bro- ritual nonsense, but he's not not staring either. His black hoodie makes him hard to see in the dark, but even with his hood on, you can see him because he's holding an empty bottle of Sierra Mist. It's the guy who put his drink on the floor. His stare burns into yours. Surprisingly, given the hour, you can make out the shine of a piercing adorning his bottom lip. You subconsciously lick your lip, imagining how it would feel to have that pierced through your own skin. His piercing gaze is enough to make you  even more insecure than you already feel. You see, even at this hour, his eyes flitting to your chest. He trails his gaze back up to your eyes, smirks, and looks away before tossing the empty Sierra Mist bottle on the trash bottle on the corner, crossing the street with the guys from Marley. 

When you close the door, you cringe. At the spilled drink, at the rude comments, at the smell of the trash, at the hollers, and especially at the smirk. What the fuck was all that? Marley boys have always been scummy, hence why you were so adamant to go to Paradis for high school and college. After scrubbing your hands after touching the trash bags, you finally get into your bed and flick off the lamp. Your thoughts are always a bit jumbled before you sleep, but tonight they gravitate toward a magnet.

[namakaeggs]

i’m 20

[namakaeggs]

feelings/ pt 1

eren x reader, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, drunk confession

you knew eren before you knew him. his mom and your mom were the best of friends in highschool, and a friendship was fated from the start. from family barbecues to birthdays, you two were always together. “inseparable” is what carla describes us. eren always scoffed when mom would say we would get married one day. my eyes would brighten at the mention.

eren was always the outsider growing up, the rebel. he grew his hair to his shoulders, didn’t get along with the popular crowd, got an illegal tattoo at 16, and religiously wore band tees. as we got older, i noticed him more and more. we were around each other so often, so close. when his voice got deeper and his arms became toned, i couldn’t help fighting my feelings. to him, we were friends. to me, he was more. i knew he never saw me the way because he slept around. he smoked and wasn’t afraid to break a few laws. hes the personification of the boys your mom will tell you to watch out for, because their mystery is so alluring that you won’t be able to resist, and that in the end, they will break your heart. mom would never see eren in another light though. nothing other than her best friends adorable, sweet child.

as i’m about to fall asleep, my phone buzzes on my bedside table and reach for it quickly.

R u awake

it’s 2 in the morning and i know what he’s been doing.

what’s up eren?

i wait anxiously.

Im sorru it’s so latew but can u pick me up from Jean’s please?

i immediately get up and throw on a zip up hoodie. i grab my keys and hurry out of my window. god, the things i do for this boy.

the first time i felt something for him was 6th grade. for a while, he had been trying to slum it with the popular boys, reiner, jean, flock, and zeke, in our class. it didn’t work. he was a puzzle piece that didn’t fit, but he tried and i watched. i watched him try biking every day after-school with them when i knew he preferred to go skating with me. i watched him try to salvage his failing math grade from constantly attempting to meet the demands of these boys, their constant hangouts that eren didn’t really look forward too, telling me how unfunny he thought their jokes were. i watched eren and the popular boys talk to the popular girls. seeing eren laughing with historian reiss made me fume. who was she to even speak to him? she doesn’t know him like that? she doesn’t know him like i do!

it was all jealousy. historia was beautiful, popular, and i knew eren thought so too, because i would see them drinking slurpees at the quick zip every friday after school. i fumed even more. there were rumors that they had even kissed. stupid me thought and dreamed that maybe he secretly wanted me, and maybe he secretly wanted me to be his first kiss. hearing the rumor crushed me. i was heartbroken, but i could never be mad at eren over some dream that would never come true.

but suddenly eren withdrew. historia and him never hung out on fridays and the popular boys treated eren like he were a plague. jean still spoke to him though, even with their bitter rivalry that he would never tell me stemmed from what. me and him were already attached at the hip by that point, but he stuck by me like glue from then on. i didn’t question it. i didn’t care too because that he wanted to spend time with me, me.

we spent the rest of our middle school and high-school years together. always turning around to make sure the other one was behind. always picking the same classes to take so that we’d be together. always going back to my place after school, sitting on my bed to talk about everything the world has to offer over and over again. i would always help him with math, and he would always defend me against the popular guys that pursued me, warning me that he knew their motives. that they didn’t want me for the right reasons. i understood and i kept away. but they didn’t.

junior year, after our AP physics class, the ringleader of the group, zeke, cornered me in the stairwell and confessed how long he had been wanting me. how much he needed me, and that i should come over sometime with his friends. and from that, i already had an idea that this was what eren was talking about. i tried to get out, but he wouldn’t let me. eren pushed him to the wall and fought him. jean and armin had to pull eren off of him. eren got suspended because he broke zekes nose, and he had to get surgery to fix the damage.

during erens suspension, we spoke.

“i don’t like how the guys are,” he starts, fixing the pink pillow under his head,” they get me so fucking mad.” he’s been staying at my house ever since he got suspended. his parents are mad.

i look up from the book i was reading. “it was only zeke who really pushed it? why are you so pissed about the whole group?”

erens eyebrows furrow. “y/n, they’re guys. i’m a guy, and you’re not. i know how guys like them are!” he suddenly looks uncomfortable. “it’s disgusting.” he mutters, “and i don’t like that zeke wanted you to come over.”

“but still?” i argue, “just because you have something against zeke doesn’t mean you should hate the whole group with a passion. i know they’re obnoxious, but don’t let them get to you.”

“of course i have something against zeke and his friends! he forced you into the corner and told you how bad he wanted to fuck you!”

i cringe at the honesty. “i meant that you’ve hated him since middle school. like.. obsessively hate.”

eren lets out a laugh at the idiocracy. “first of all, i am not obsessed with zeke fritz.” he takes a deep breath like he’s preparing for the finale of a grand speech. “and second of all, he’s always pissed me off.”

“even when you hung out with him and his friends?” i tease.

eren grows silent. “i don’t want to talk about it.” and i dropped the conversation.

i pull into the round-about where jean lives. i’ve had to pick eren up a few times from here, but lately, the only reason he’s been here is to get drunk at jeans college parties. jeans parents are loaded, lawyers who travel for work, which leaves him at home with way too much freedom.

the music is vibrating the ground from here. i wonder when the police are gonna show up to shut down this party for the noise disturbance. i need to find eren, soon. i open the front door and see people leaning on the walls with drinks, talking, joking, some making out. i look away and try to find eren. i don’t see him anywhere.

after scanning the entire first floor, eren jeager is no where to be found. i head towards the stairs and start walking up, hoping to find him upstairs.

where are you? i text.

as i’m walking down the hallway, i hear a familiar voice.

“In here!”

i walk toward the sound of his voice, the last door of the hallway that has the name “jean” written in bright blue letters. i open the door and see the unexpected.

well, not fully unexpected. i see eren, his almost- shoulder length hair pulled back into a bun and his body adorning grey sweatpants and a navy hoodie, who i was expecting to see, laying down on jeans bed, smiling at the ceiling like a weirdo. yep, he’s one drink away from blacking out. but what i didn’t expect to see was historia reiss, sitting at the end of the bed, picking at her split ends and chewing her gum with her mouth open. my stomach turns at the scene, but i force down my feelings.

“hey!” i say. historia turns to me with a look of disappointment on her face and eren lifts his head and laughs drunkly when he sees me.

“uh,” i suddenly become uncomfortable under historias arrogant stare, “sorry i didn’t knock, i’m here to get eren.”

she looks at eren and then looks at me, saying, “okay..” condescendingly and walks into jeans bathroom. she wasn’t wearing any shoes. erens not wearing any either.

“heyyyy,” eren slurs as i walk over to him. “i didn’t know you partied!” he jokes before bursting out laughing

“you texted me. how much did you have to drink?”

he looks dumbfounded at the simple question “what?”

“i said, how much did you have to drink?” i repeat. i can barely hear my own voice over the booming music.

“uhhhhh-,” he replies after a few seconds, “i don’t know.”

“okay, cmon. get up eren. we’re going.”

“yes ma’am.” he says, giving a military salute. surprisingly, he can stand just fine despite how drunk he seems. i make sure he has everything

and we leave jeans house. we walk over to my parked car and i put eren in the backseat incase he pukes all over my dashboard again. i don’t want a repeat of the last time i picked him up.

“there’s a plastic bag in the right pocket if you need to puke, eren, just letting you know.” i mention as i pull out of the round-a- bout.

“okay, mom, thanks” he scoffs.

i pull unto the main road, stopping at the red light.

“so,” i start,” historia, huh?” my voice filling the silence.

“huh, what’re you talking about?” he says in a genuine, drunk confusion. “did something happen”

“i just didn’t know you guys were really friends.” i reply. and i murmur, “obviously more than that though.”

you’re eyes are fixed on the road, but erens eyes are dead fixed on you after that snide comment that he definitely heard.

“yeah,” he rolls his eyes, sarcasm and the presence of alcohol in his tone, “we had so much fun, y/n. you don’t even know.”

i look at him through the dash cam window and he’s staring at me with a smirk and an indepipherable look in his eyes, testing me. i grip the stealing wheel and drive faster. i know he’s joking, but i can’t tell if he’s hinting at the truth or just telling a lie to get a reaction out of me.i just want this conversation i started to be over with.

“uh, so, how’s jean?” i change the conversation.

“what, you like him or something?”

“what! no!” i deny. “i never said that, eren?”

eren leans back into the seat, head resting on the head rest as he looks up. “whatever.”

unlike eren, there’s no alcohol in my system, but i’m feeling bold today. “what do you mean whatever, eren? you think i like jean?”

“uhhh, haven’t you always?” he states like it’s the obvious. “i saw the way he looked at you in art class.”

“just because he looked at me once or twice doesn’t mean i want him to fuck me or something.”

erens eyes narrow and his brows furrow, lifting his head in interest. “what the fuck did you just say?”

“what the fuck are you saying?” i fight back. “i ask you how jean is and you act like i’m begging on my knees for him. god damn.”

now he’s fully attentive, elbows on his knees and leaning in as if he’ll learn more by his upright posture. “i don’t like the idea of you liking jean,” he states, the slurring of his words still audible , “aaand i don’t like the idea of jean liking you.”

my heart races. “why?”

“maybe it’s the same reason you don’t like seeing me with historia.” and suddenly, he sounds sober.

my heart stops. he heard the comment i made under my breath.

“eren, i don’t care who you see.” the lie is evident in my tone, but eren is so drunk that i don’t bother to hide it. “you can hook up with historia for all i care. have fun with mouth herpes.”

“see, this is what i don’t like,” he slurs out, “did it really not bother you when you saw me and historia in the same bed?”

“why would it bother me? we’re just friends.”

“is that what you want to believe?”

“is that what i shouldn’t believe, eren?”

eren sighs and leans back again. “you remember when i hung out with zeke, flock, reiner, and jean like way back?”

“yeah.”

“that entire time. all they talked about is who would get you first. who would be the first to- fuck. fuck!” he slurs “i never wanted to tell you that!”

my mouth is to the floor. “seriously? that is so- why woudlnt you tell me?”

he looks out the window, “because i was scared that if i told you they liked you, you’d like the attention and shit, and then you wouldn’t be mine.”

my heart is beating out of my chest. “my god, you’re so drunk. eren, you’re speaking nonesense.”

“i’ve been in love with you since the 6th grade.”

“eren, stop.” tears brim my eyes. in the morning, when he’s sober and remembers this, he’ll regret his drunken lies and i’ll have to pretend like this drunk, fake confession didn’t mean the world to me.

“i left the digusting group for that. i hated that me and those annoying dogs had something in common, wanting you.”

“you never wanted me, eren!” i snap, “ you would fake a gag every time our moms shipped us together! and what about historia, huh? don’t act like you two haven’t been sleeping together since highschool. oh, and what about mikasa? you and her-”

“i don’t care about them! all i want is you y/n! i thought you already knew how bad i had it for you” he cuts me off.

“fucking lies.”

he grows quiet for a while.

“i pretended they were you everytime,” he admits,” they didn’t turn me on. i had to pretend they were you, ” he leans in, “and honestly? i still do.”

his words send butteflies rushing to your stomach, but you know better. “eren. you’re drunk”

he pulls his hair out of his messy bun and puts his hood on. “drunken. words. are sober. thoughts!” he enunciates before laughing.

we pull into his house driveway.

“i’m sorry for teasing you about me and historia tonight.” he apologies, and i smell beer from his breath. “im really sorry.”

“i thought drunk words were sober thoughts?” you retaliate with hurt in your tone. you didn’t want to argue, but you didn’t want to not stand your ground.

“i just- wanted to make you jealous. im sorry, y/n” he hugs me, arms wrapping around me tightly as he fits his head into the crook of my neck and sniffs. “god, you smell so good..”

“eren.” you warn.

“your perfume. it drives me insane.” he whines and starts peppering kisses down your neck.

you blush and your heart stops before you push him off of you. he stumbles back, having to regain his balance due to the alchohal in his system. he’s drunk, he’s drunk and he’s so fucking drunk.

the look in his eyes are nothing short of hurt. “y/n..”

“we’ll talk in the morning” you breath out. “go sleep this off.”

“i’ve already tried,” he replies as he walks up the stairs to his room, “why do you think i get so drunk all the damn time. seeing historias face sober every weekend makes me remember that she isn’t you.” he gets to the top step and disappears behind the wall.