namastenug

[namastenug]

can you believe?...

...that i booked a flight to paris ten days before i left?! me neither. 

i wrote a post about it, accidentally deleted it, and now i’ve lost any motivation to recreate it. here are a some highs and lows of my seventy hours in paris to sum it up:

highs:

first spot visited: sacre-coeur! did i cry once i reached the top because i felt overwhelmingly lucky to be there? you bet.

first legit meal ate: amazing tacos (pictured below) at a tiny restaurant where i was able to speak spanish with the workers!

all the crêpes

resting my legs in so many chic parks

climbing the arc de triomphe just in time to see the eiffel tower light up at night

lows:

tried to eat at a gluten-free restaurant only to find out that it was closed (it was france’s labor day so almost everything was closed) and then decided on a restaurant where i blindly ordered something...big mistake

caught a cold on the second day

and then...

iceland!

i had a long layover in reykjavik on my way back to paris and naturally had to explore! i opted for the blue lagoon since it was so close to the airport. after walking thirty miles in just a few days my feel and creaky knees needed that geothermal pool--sulfuric smell and all. and it was so cool! plus, i got a “free” drink and silica mud mask with my basic entrance ticket.

also, iceland has incredible hotdogs.

all in all, i would highly would recommend a spontaneous solo trip to europe if the opportunity presents itself! 

xoxo

h

[namastenug]

life lately:

planted some forget-me-nots and poppies and bought myself a succulent and flowers

went to the doctor for a check-up and got referred to a pre-cancer screening clinic and will be making an appearance at the neurology clinic in early june

had (separate) visits from two of my close friends (and their boyfriends)!! one of whom will be living only an hour away this summer--eep

 still been dealin’ with the same ol’ shit (mental health issues)

my parents are currently in italy, so i’ve been spending the past week being “mom”--which is real freakin’ exhausting

BOOKED A FLIGHT TO PARIS FOR $340

coming soon:

23rd birthday is on saturday

leaving for PARIS the next day!!!!

in the meantime, you can catch me reading sapiens by yuval noah harari and freaking out about leaving for europe in a week! xoxo

[namastenug]

mexico

there’s just something about setting foot in a foreign country that just makes my heart flutter! six days full of the blazing sun, all-inclusive alcohol, tacos, and live music. when we weren’t in the pool or on the beach, we visited chichén itzá (one of the wonders of the world!), swam in a cenote, and visited a small mayan town that is home to the oldest church on the mainland. i got my first legit massage and i was able to use my spanish some.

after we got back we had easter dinner with my dad’s coworker from england to top off my renewed travel bug. this guy took two years off work to travel the globe with his wife and son, hitting 26 countries and telling some amazing stories...aka currently checking my savings account to see when i can squeeze in a trip next!

hasta luego,

nug

[namastenug]

weekend update

friday night drinks at an irish whiskey bar to kick off st. patrick’s day weekend with my froomie

long-ass day at work on saturday, but recovered with a shamrock shake and a show at a cabaret bar later (where i paid more for the bar’s cover than for my drink). spent some much needed time with my established, married couple-friends

woke up too early this morning and my usual sunday morning cleaning vibes were dampened by my neighbor fighting with her boyfriend (i s2g this happens every week--drowned out the noise with some maren morris). ran all the errands, might’ve almost shat myself in barnes and noble, and TOOK A NAP before coaching skating (this hardly ever happens!)

on the sched this week:

late afternoon work events on tues, weds, and thurs

haircut and cocktail party on fri

leaving for mexico early sunday morning!

[namastenug]

[namastenug]

recap

to be honest, the only things i can remember doing on friday was finishing the handmaid’s tale and eating a whole (gluten-free) pizza while watching the new season of love. i went to bed fairly early because i had to coach figure skating lessons the next morning. skating was absolutely chaotic, but i was pleasantly surprised to be invited to brunch by my dad and sisters (they were feeling sorry for me for the whole situation). we ate at this super cool restaurant i’d been meaning to try and got my target-run paid for. i went home later that afternoon to do laundry and get some puppy snugs to make me feel better. sunday, i went for a nice walk and taught skating again. i worked for about an hour on monday and then got everything ready before my friend arrived to head to the funeral.

we drove for four hours and made a pit stop at the mall of america (she had never been!) to walk around, visit the aquarium (saving a stuck turtle in the process!), and had chips/guac/queso at margaritaville (a new low) before we checked into the hotel and met our other friends who had just got back at the visitation. our other friends arrived soon after and despite the sad situation that brought us together, we stayed up most of the night catching up, reminiscing, and goofing around. 

the next morning we got up early for breakfast before getting ready and heading to the church. tears immediately welled up the second i walked in as they had lots of picture boards, news clippings, awards, etc. honoring my friend’s dad. they even had his bicycle, shoes, and biking jersey (?!) on display. we originally declined to see his body, but quickly realized that our friend and her family was standing right next to him. we hugged her mom, sister, and brother before being able to hug her (who didn’t know we were coming!). as usual, we couldn’t make an appearance without a bang--and that was clear as one of us knocked over a can of sparkling water (causing a huge pop in the sanctuary and everyone around us to laugh). it eased the tension just a bit, which was definitely appreciated. then, our group took a seat and waited for the funeral to start. i couldn’t stop crying throughout the whole thing and i’m 100% positive there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. after, i felt as if i had been punched in the gut and was pretty drained. we sat and chatted at the small luncheon that followed, and we were finally able to talk to our friend a little more. after, the girls in my hotel room went to for a real lunch, then my car buddy and i stopped for coffee and gas before hitting the road again.

death makes you re-evaluate everything. in this case, her dad’s death was so unexpected. i can’t stop feeling horrible for my friend, and subsequently fearing that i would be in her place. i can’t stop feeling angry that this happened to him and their family, that it shouldn’t be this way. i’m still trying to process and grieve...even though i feel silly for grieving someone i didn’t know super well.

after this long-ish weekend, i’m ready to reset. i’ve been trying to get my life in order--for real this time. i’m heading to mexico in ten days and it is my absolute goal to leave with everything done. i’m talkin’ personal life, apartment, bills, mail, whatever. it probably seems silly, but i am the queen procrastinator and i don’t want to go on vacation with anything lingering over my head.

however, i have accomplished a bit in the past few weeks that i should be proud of and would like to share:

we signed a lease!!!!!! my froomie (friend + [future] roomie) and i were super close on signing on an apartment, but we decided to look around just a little bit more before taking the leap. we ended up seeing this beautiful apartment and signed the lease two weeks ago. it has a patio, underground parking, a big kitchen, big closets, hardwood floor, two bathrooms, AND in-unit laundry! all for approximately the same price as my studio now. aka i’m on cloud nine.

my book count is up to 16! i’m down to only having 3 library books checked out with another one on hold. this makes me a lot less stressed out about reading and i don’t feel the pressure to finish a book in a day or two.

my social life is on the ups! i’ve been able to go out~, go to a (free) movie, and get coffee--all with different people! i also have plans to go out this weekend which should be fun.

i finally decided that i’m going to take all the money i earn from coaching and put that toward making student loan payments. i’m not scheduled to start paying until august, but i’m trying to be responsible!

i also finally decided to make a doctor’s appointment for some things that i had been putting off for ages.

i got to go with my sister to pick out her prom dress! and now she has a boyfriend? and i met his mom? still processing this.

my cousin came to visit for a weekend from the university of minnesota to see them play wisconsin. the series was brutal, but the company was fun.

hopefully the next time i write i will be tanned, feeling better mentally, and refreshed (but probably a little hungover from the all-inclusive alcohol ;)). 

xoxo,

nug

[namastenug]

at a loss

i didn’t even realize that it had been almost exactly a month since i last posted. a lot has changed in that month, but unfortunately a lot has stayed the same. i sat down to write this post not as an update/reflection, but as a way to place words on something that caused me to feel an urge to write.

two nights ago, i was at my parents’ house. i had a long ass day at work, then scrambled to make it to my little sisters national honor society induction (which, i showed up ten minutes late, but luckily missed the boring speaker). i met my sister’s boyfriend’s (!!!) mom and was able to spend some time with my family. after, we went home only for my sisters and i to get culver’s since i hadn’t eaten dinner yet (side note: at this point it was seven o’clock and i barely had lunch). i pounded a burger, fries, and a chocolate banana shake. we hung out and bantered as usual. not long after my sisters went to their rooms, i received a text from my college besties’ group chat. one of the girls’ dad was missing, she wrote. my stomach plummeted. my chocolate banana shake threatened to reappear (likely due to the mass amount of lactose consumed). i have been struggling with my emotions and have been pms-ing hard this past week, so i felt distraught overall. i went home and cried. i took a melatonin so i could sleep.

on thursday my daily routine began again. i went to work. i tried to keep myself distracted. we got a message saying that my friend’s dad’s car had been found. i tried not to cry at work and deeply considered going home. i didn’t. i checked my phone after a work event to see that her dad had been found. dead. feeling numb, i went to a nearby grocery store and bought boxed wine and tried not to cry as i wandered the aisles. my mom called. i cried in the car. i went home, poured myself a giant glass of wine, received a call from one of my friends and talked about our friend. it was her birthday.

i decided i wasn’t going in to work today. actually, i decided yesterday, but confirmed today. i needed this day for a couple weeks now. i’ve felt angry, careless, and all over the place. i have messages racked up on my phone and haven’t cared to respond. but today, i woke up and finished my library book (that is due today) and cleaned my apartment. we’re waiting on funeral plans. i’m trying to keep myself distracted. the girl that lives in the apartment next to mine and her boyfriend have been fighting all day (it’s only noon). it’s as if he never stops yelling. he stormed out a while ago, causing her to wail, and then he comes back. i’m not even trying to listen-- it’s loud enough that it’s audible over my music.

i’m planning on writing more of a reflection post later, once i’m back. i’m trying to figure out what i’m going to do with my weekend until then. at some point today, i want to get outside, but do what, exactly? curling in a ball with a movie sounds perfect, but i know it won’t help me feel any better.

this post is rough and unedited. it’s a reflection of my thought-process and i think it shows how i’m feeling.

until next time,

nug

[namastenug]

february

still struggling to accept the fact that february is halfway over--just like i’m still struggling to spell february right. the last time i’d checked in here the year had just started, still had that shiny newness that everyone gets excited over. the excitement has started to wane, but a lot has happened during this time. so, in order to stay up-to-date with what’s been happening, here are a few highlights/tidbits:

i have been a readin’ machine! seven books have been read in the past eight weeks. i debated over setting a reading goal for the year, but instead decided to utilize the app goodreads to make a “to read” list (initially composed of 35 books). in my efforts to remain intentional, i understand that it isn’t realistic to set a goal of reading a book a week, and i want to read because i enjoy it, not to cross it off a list. therefore, i am taking this in waves. i am currently reading a lot because it is freezing outside, and i’m not interested with netflix right now.

apartment hunting. it feels as if all my free time outside of work, skating, reading, and watching college hockey is spent looking for an apartment with my friend. we’ve visited five places, one of which we really love and are hoping to sign a lease at asap. consequently, this has made me reflect on my budget, where i see myself in next year, and all interior design possibilities for a new space.

friendships. i miss my college friends, a lot. as always. i made hella cute valentines cards and sent them to my old and new friends.

relationships. couldn’t even call it a relationship, but a ‘situation’ with a boy has me reevaluating what i want right now. confusing liking attention versus actual attraction. a lot coasting with my foot over the brake. avoiding a ‘situation’ with someone else, which i have now dragged out to what is probably the point of no return. updates to come on that one.

overall, i’ve let myself get away with a few too many things and i’m over it. letting clean clothes pile up rather than just hanging them back up? bye. hoarding dirty tupperware in the backseat of my car? not anymore. that giant pile of mail that’s taking over the tiny dining table? recycled. the food in the kitchen that should have been tossed a few weeks ago? gone. the message that i received about a month ago that’s been sitting unopened because i don’t have the balls to open it? still working on that one, but you get the picture.

when you live alone, there’s no one to keep you accountable. no one to put the dishes away for, no one to take the trash/recycling out for, no one to stay tidy for. it’s harder for people to call you out on your behavior when you only see them a few times a week (not that it’s their job, but still). this year (six/seven months) of living alone has taught me that i am the only person who will always be able to keep myself accountable, and i need to own up to it. in all areas of my life.

other good things on the horizon:

olympics! my absolute favorite.

going to mexico in march! also my favorite.

pushing myself to keep meeting people--and to improve relationships with the people already in my life.

slightly warmer weather?! (fingers crossed on this one)

trying journaling--whether it’s posting on here more or in an actual journal

cheers and namaste,

nug

[namastenug]

here we go

three days into the new year. ringing in the new year didn’t exactly meet my expectations (which, i told myself prior that my expectations wouldn’t be high and honestly they weren’t)--it was f r e e z i n g, i was pretty sober, and just overall not in the mood to be in crowded spaces or to be grabbed by strangers all night. BUT i want to remain positive and intentional, so i’m going to highlight these aspects of the first few days of 2018:

woke up on jan 1 in the most beautiful house owned by the coolest parents, with FOUR dogs (including one golden retriever pup)

roadtripped with friends i don’t get to spend much time with 

stayed at yet another beautiful house owned by cool parents

recovered from the long weekend with popcorn, movies, and snugs

spent jan 2 stuck at the airport, but started/finished a book and ended up getting home by the end of the night (almost had to have a slumbie in chicago)

kicked off the work project that i’ve been working on since august (!) and had a really great group of kids 

went to a ballet class for the first time since may (and ended up being able to take the course for free thanks to my angel teacher!)

three days in, three hundred and sixty-two more opportunities to grow, learn, and stay intentional. it hasn’t start off perfect, but it’s been pretty dang good so far.

cheers to a short week and new beginnings,

nug

[namastenug]

2018 [almost]

three years ago, i started this blog with the hope that i would use it to help document my time abroad that coming fall (a little ahead of myself, clearly). three years ago (and a few months later), i spent the best semester of my life in buenos aires, argentina. i ultimately decided against blogging about my trip for a few reasons: how would i turn my experiences into the perfect words? and in all honesty, i didn’t want to be like every other girl who made a study abroad blog. but most important, i decided that i want to keep my sacred experiences to myself.

fast forward to today. i write this from my tiny, shitty studio apartment. i’m getting ready to head to chicago in the morning for a quick weekend trip, and by “getting ready” i really mean that i’ve been dancing around in my underwear and thinking about what i want to accomplish in the next year.

similar to me making this blog way before even leaving to study abroad, i decided to make this post before 2018 rolls in. i’ve made a preliminary list of goals for the new year--a first for me, as the closest thing i’ve gotten to making a goals list in the past five years was my mental list of “summer goals” for this past year (all of which were accomplished with the exception of one--but that’s a story for another time). in the next year i want to:

apply to graduate school. okay this is a big one, if not the biggest on the list. by applying to grad school in 2018, i will have given myself two full years at my current job and will (hopefully) start school in august 2019, with a (hopeful) graduation in may 2021.

go abroad. i’ve been low-key planning a trip to peru with the intentions of visiting machu picchu. i’m currently planning on going solo, which is making me slow down and reconsider the trip overall.

save money. i now realize as a self-sufficient adult that this is probably one of most people’s goals, but the combination of goals 1 and 2 (and student loans!) really make me want to live as simply as possible.

maintain inner peace. this is something i’ve been telling myself that i’ve been working on for awhile now, but it’s really only started recently. this is something that i will continuously need to work on, and may have to turn to other treatment options besides myself (which is completely okay!).

stay intentional. mid-november i had a huge revelation. it was literally as if my entire universe shifted and i began to see things in a different light. and it is so great! until i started slipping up again (aka mid-dec). i want to strive to stay present and conscious in the way i spend my free time and who i spend it with.

it is my hope that this little corner of the internet will become a safe haven for my thoughts, ideas, and emotions as i journey through this next year of life. i hope that this list grows with intention, and that i am able to achieve all that i set out to accomplish (duh!).

catch ya in the new year,

nug

[namastenug]

Hi!

As the spring semester comes to an end and final tests loom over campus, I have not so conveniently decided to procrastinate studying by researching countries that I'm interesting in studying in. I have friends that have traveled all over the globe this year and I've lived vicariously through every one of them via blogs and copious amounts of Facebook pictures. Therefore, I decided that instead of studying for a test that is in T-7 hours, I would create a blog dedicated for my future travels because, why not?! Sadly, this blog will most likely remain dormant until next fall (looking at you, 2015!), but when the time comes I will use this to share my (foreign, some maybe not-so foreign) shenanigans with you all!