nambyul - Tumblr blog

[nambyul]

Scott Prior, Backyard, Winter Twilight, 2021, Watercolor

[nambyul]

being an adult

is not the same as being mature. you can be old, but your act cannot. you may be a 30th year old woman with a stable job, but you are also a selfish woman who set herself before others.

i am now 28 years and 3 months old.

looking at my profile and just realized that time has passed. 

“a 9 year old girl trapped in a 24 year old girl's body“

yes i decided not to change the bio to remind my life journey.

reading it makes me realized that i still act like a 9 year old who has that annoying attitude. that states some people cannot change, huh. my recent post was a year old.

tumblr is not the same as before. not as fun as before. i started this tumblr as a fangirl (i was an ELF, Inspirit, and Shawol). then interested in making my tumblr blog become prettier by learning some codes (lol). and years passed, thesis, job interview, office work, finally got a relationship which i couldnt imagine will end up my last relationship, got engaged and next year i will become a wife.

time has passed really quickly indeed. been an employee of 3 companies with different background, got a silly and disturbing issue with some moron ex co-workers, got cheated (yeah, even though he was just texting other girlfriend, cheating is still cheating right), lost 3 kgs in 2 weeks because of heartbroken, wasted a lot of tears because we decided to get back together, and there wasnt any slight of imagination that we’ll end up together until death do us apart hahaha

still have that extreme moodswing? yes, but not that annoying obviously

still have no empathy towards people? yes, but not as worse as before

still want to die and give the rest of my life to other people who need it more? everyday. had been having this kinda thoughts since like my high school years and here i am now. still breathing the populated o2 while surviving a work life balance

still want to help people even though i really hate those people? fortunately yes, i hate this kind of myself which not every people know. my ex supervisor told me i was a good person and i cried upon hearing it. nobody tells me that even my parents. 

still want to make mami and papi proud? fortunately absolutely totally yes, look what i’ve done. went to science class, graduated from computer science major, got a job within 2 months before officially graduated. its all for you guys

still want to have a slim body without effort? hell yes yes yes. please i need that slim bodyyy

still longing for God’s presence everyday? thankfully yes, i finally decided to follow Him.

i am still learning to improve myself, to make everyone around me happy, to help other people in need, to be closer to God. 

thank you God for everything. i will try my best to achieve what You want. Amen.

[nambyul]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BZLhfguBYqj/

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Adonis, tr. by Samuel Hazo, from “The Funeral of New York”, The Pages of Day and Night

[nambyul]

<boyfriend> drama colour palette #1 the colours of Cuba

scene 1 the colour of Cuba’s relaxing ocean scene 2 the colour of the evergreen Jinhyuk scene 3 the colour of Soohyun who is asking for directions scene 4 the colour of the blue Cuban daytime scene 5 the colour of the Malecon beach sunset scene 6 the colour of Salsa, an unfamiliar dance scene 7 the colour of Jinhyuk who is thinking of Soohyun scene 8 the colour of the cafe where Soohyun and Jinhyuk waited for each other

[nambyul]

<boyfriend> drama colour palette #2 the colours of everyday life

scene 1 the colour of Chan’s homey store scene 2 the colour of the ocean which Jinhyuk is capturing scene 3 the colour of Soohyun and Jinhyuk meeting again scene 4 the colour of the warm Sokcho morning scene 5 the colour of Soohyun who is afraid of drifting apart again scene 6 the colour that was worth it because she was so desperate scene 7 the colour of the lonely swings in Hongje-dong scene 8 the colour of Jinhyuk’s family home scene 8 the colour of Soohyun’s family home

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https://www.instagram.com/p/Bj67Tu-HaN

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EUN_ZZANG

[nambyul]

life choices

life itself is a choice. when you wake up in the morning, you choose whether you want to get up or not. after you get up, you choose whether you want to wash up or not. after you wash up, you choose what clothes you’re going to use, and so on.

while me, i dont know whether my choice is a good one, i can only embrace it, because it already happened. i did choose a risky life path in 2018. i resigned from a very comfortable job to a not-so-comfortable-job. i never work overtime at my previous office while working overtime is a must here. some people may think i am stupid, which i also do whenever i face trouble in office. i chose a job that i couldnt even imagine before: a developer. 

shit happens in life, it is very common. what people can do is only living life and make the most of it. shit happens but there’s also some blessing in those shits. 

[nambyul]

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luo__o

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This is what I get for trying to sleep at a normal time. T__T

Webtoon | Patreon | Instagram

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https://instagram.com/p/BUb2t2aDgco/

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“A street can make friends with nothing else but time. One quiet child and four loud children became friends that way, and we became five that way.”

[nambyul]

self care tips

This is the collection of things I do when I’m feeling overwhelmingly anxious and/or depressed. I thought I’d share in case anyone else finds them helpful.

fill a clean glass with water and drink it all. don’t chug, but don’t set the glass down until it is empty. refill the glass and keep it close to drink for the rest of the morning/afternoon/evening.

make your bed. everything will feel a bit cleaner. while you’re at it, put all your dirty clothes in a basket or the laundry room. you don’t have to wash them, just get them put away. 

take a cool shower. wash your face. put on clean, comfortable clothes.

open a window if possible. if not, open the blinds.

stretch, do some yoga, do a full blown work out if you want. 

don’t forget to drink your water.

when you need a break, make something. write a story, draw a picture, bake some banana bread. do something that doesn’t take a long time but you enjoy. now you’re having fun and being productive.

stay away from screens when possible. give your eyes a break.

lie down somewhere quiet in a savasana pose. if you have trouble clearing your mind, think of something that makes you really happy. don’t stop until you can’t help but smile.

remember that everything changes. everything passes. everything will be okay.

[nambyul]