natal7e

[natal7e]

I did it bc I love him:

[natal7e]

If I came back to tumblr but on a wyll ravengard blog

[natal7e]

I hit what I thought was my capacity for trauma, and then as usual god laughed and said nah you can handle more.

I miss y’all dearly but mostly I am dissociating into viddy games. I leave for camp a week from tomorrow which is exciting and fucking nerve wracking. I generally am not on tumblr during the summer anyway bc I work looooong hours at camp.

Anyway read more cw - pet death

We had to put our 17 year old pup down on Saturday. She was in a ton of pain and it was time but that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Kaleb had her for 16 years and she’s lived with us for 12. She was our first kid. It was just the three of us in our first apartment in college. It’s literally losing a daughter.

And then all of the bullshit at school since that oped. It’s really easy for non Jews to be anti-Zionist but please remember it’s so so hard for those of us who did the really hard work to unlearn everything to exist in the Jewish world as an anti zionist. If I say the words out loud to the wrong people I close so many doors to jobs I don’t want to close yet.

Anyway I just needed to say all of this. I’m exhausted. I love you all.

[natal7e]

So on top of everything else we are likely putting our 17 year old dog down on Monday. Literally the only thing I can focus on right now is bg. Catch me on discord.

[natal7e]

Pics from last years paracon cause we’re on our way now to this years and it’s one of my FAV events of the year. ❤️

[natal7e]

i know its bc i once again ran out of my anxiety meds at the worst time (two times in one year) that i am Not Doing Hot and i need to have grace with myself but like i also need to get things done so brain....work with me

[natal7e]

hi friends!!! i promise i live i just dont have a lot of time or energy for tumblr atm. it's finals for school and i am dealing with being in a cast and trying to get ready for camp....and then being gone for 10 weeks for camp.

the best way to write/plot with me is via discord!! im literally always on hehe. feel free to shoot me a DM and i'll send it to you <3

[natal7e]

officially have a cast on so we're making progress!!

[natal7e]

mmm me making nat an oathbreaker pally durge.....

[natal7e]

On top of everything else I broke out in hives this morning 🫠

[natal7e]

me watching mean girls bc renee even tho regina and nat could not be less alike? you bet LOL

in other news i am really vibing with it bc its actually feeling like the stage musical put on the screen and i love that

[natal7e]

one day i'm gonna be able to sit up long enough to write replies and it's all over for all of you i have so much nat muse

[natal7e]

Made a wire come bother us uwu

[natal7e]

Cannibalism as a metaphor for love sure has me in a chokehold rn huh

[natal7e]

RENEÉ RAPP via instagram

[natal7e]

natalie in every episode: 1x09

[natal7e]

one of the elements of nat that i find so fascinating is that she is first and foremost a team player. we see it with the allie debate. we see it in her picking up the gun (despite her traumas). yes she shoots because of trav but she also knows she's the best shot in the group. we see it in her continuing to do her hunting thing despite not buying into anything that lottie is doing. and eventually we see it in her taking up the mantle because she knows its what's best for the team.

natalie is not meant as the individual. when i say that i mean that she THRIVES in a group. but by herself? that's where her burnout comes in. if she had been able to get scouted at nationals and go on to play soccer somewhere, her trajectory would have been at least slightly different. she would have gotten out of jersey, let go of being a yellowjacket, etc.

instead she came back from the wilderness and had just herself to depend on. so.... she lost the battle.