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ncisroleplay-blog · 12 years ago

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He sighed heavily as he watched her from his perch against the tree not far away. The others had already left and gone back to the house to prepare for the gathering of people who were going to spend some more time conveying their condolences and sharing memories, but he had sensed she needed more time and so they stayed behind. He took a quick glance over to the diggers who were patiently waiting for the go ahead and decided it was time. Pushing off the tree with the foot he had propped against it he walked to the young girl standing before the coffin. He adjusted his dark sun glasses to make sure they hadn’t slipped and she couldn’t see the red rimmed and dark circled eyes he was sporting. He was damn sure that if it wasn’t for the skin that covered his body she would see how he was completely torn apart inside. His heart was in tiny pieces and he felt like his lungs were in a vice. It took more power than it should to just breathe and make his body move in the most rudimentary way.

As he approached the side of the coffin the little girl stood his fingers reached out and brushed against the polished wood. “Sweetheart,” he whispered, “we should be going. Everyone is waiting on us.”

The blonde haired girl looked up at him with tears pooled in her dark brown eyes. She had the same hair as he had as a child, but they were her mother’s eyes staring straight back at him and he had to bite his tongue to keep from losing all control over himself. He had promised himself that she wouldn’t see him cry yet, if at all. At least not in a totally out of control way. She had seen a few tears roll down his cheeks and he wouldn’t be surprised if she had heard his sobs into the pillow over the last few nights. He had tried to only do that after she had gone to bed and he was sure she was asleep, but not long after the sobs had left he would hear the door to his room creak open and the soft padding of her feet across the wooden floor before her soft hand would reach up and gently shake his shoulder and ask to sleep with him for the night. He always allowed it, tucking her into the middle of the bed and she would be clinging to his arm when the morning light started to shine through the windows.

“I don’t want to leave her, Daddy,” the little girl pleaded. “She’ll be lonely!”

He crouched down to her nine-year-old height and held her gently by her shoulders. “She won’t be lonely sweetie. Remember how we talked about this? Her body may be here, but she will always be with us so she’ll never be lonely.”

The young girl angrily swiped at the tears that were staining her face. “But… I don’t want to leave her yet!”

Hanging his head he quietly begged for the strength to help her understand that they couldn’t stay there. Sure he had thought about how much easier it would be to just set up a tent or build a one-room shack next to the grave, but in the end he knew it wasn’t going to change anything. The woman he loved was gone. A bullet from a sniper during a showdown with a group of criminals they were after took her from him, from their daughter, from their entire family. “I know honey, but we have to go now. They,” he motioned over his shoulder with a tilt of his head, “they need to finish up here and like I said, everyone is waiting for his back home.”

The girl closed the small space that was between them and he rested his head against her as he looked to the coffin and reminded himself of all the things he had already said to his daughter. “Can we…” she started to play with his hair a little as she choked back tears, “Can we go to Israel and plant an olive tree with the others? Like she did?”

Turning his head he looked up to the wet, chocolate pools that stared back at him. “We’ll go in the summer. As soon as school lets out,” he promised.

She nodded slowly, accepting his conditions before saying, “I’m cold, Daddy, can I wear your coat too?”

Sliding his overcoat off he wrapped his little girl in it and seeing how big it was on her scooped her up in his arms. They said one last goodbye and each placed a kiss on the polished wood before he carried her to the waiting limo and back to their home where everyone was waiting with hugs, stories, understanding, and above all love for them.

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