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Bear with each other - huang renjun

pairing: huang renjun x fem reader

genre: fluff, romance, enemies to lovers, colleagues to lovers; zookeeper au

synopsis: being a zookeeper comes with many perks, such as being able to get up close and personal with the wild animals you've ogled at from behind zoo enclosures as a child. This is especially true for you, a new zookeeper starting her career. However, something happens on the first day of work, causing you to take an immediate dislike to another zookeeper, Renjun. That's fine, the feeling's mutual - he doesn't like you either. But soon, you're forced to work together every single day. Will you guys be able to bear with each other, or will something more happen?

warnings: mentions of food, y/n and Renjun are immature idiots - I mean REALLY immature, swearing and cursing

word count: 17.2k (overshot again oops)

a/n: i'm sorry that this was pretty bad! i really have no idea how a zoo works, and this is also my first time writing e2l. However, that aside, I wanna say a huge thank you to all my moots who gave feedback on the banner!

tagging: @moonsclover @hyukaseggtarts @renjuns-grillfreind @bangchan-fairy @softforqiankun

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

Sailing in through the entrance of the zoo, you make your way to the staffroom, stifling a yawn. Checking your watch, you realise that it's currently 6 in the morning. Way too early for your brain to be functioning.

"Hello, are you the new zookeeper, y/n?" Looking up, you see a tall young male with blond bangs coming just past his brows. He looks at you with his doe eyes, which hold a kind glow to match his equally kind, yet shy tone.

"Yes, I am!" you reply, smiling. 

"Okay, you can put your bag down here, and then you can get changed before I show you around the area!" Jisung continues, gesturing to a cupboard. Opening up the door, you see only a few other bags inside. "Most of the zookeepers aren't here yet," he explains. "They mostly come around 6: 30 am, but we're here earlier so that we can tour around the area before work. Oh and, your uniform should be inside too".

You nod, tossing your bag inside and getting a sip of water before seeing your uniform hanging from the rack above you, a name tag pinned on it. Locating the staff restrooms, you quickly make your way into the ladies' and change.

When you get back out, Jisung is in the staff area waiting for you. "Alright, let's go!" He leads you on a tour around the zoo, showing you the different sections of the staff area, secret passages meant only for staff and other areas that were meant only for authorised personnel that you'd need to know existed. Some of the animals are already up and about, while others stay in their dreamland.

When you guys get back to the staff area, you're just in time for the daily team meeting, held by the head zookeeper, Sicheng. "Alright, good morning team, thank you all for being on time this morning," he begins as everyone gathers around him. "First of all, I'd like to begin today by introducing a new zookeeper, who will be joining us starting today. Please welcome y/n! She will be shadowing Jisung, our koala keeper".

Around you, the zookeepers burst into applause, and you even hear a few cheers. You can't help but feel your cheeks heat up in slight embarrassment. 

Sicheng continues after the applause dies down. "Next, our veterinarians have some updates for us," he says, gesturing to a few people standing at the side of the circle, dressed in white lab coats. One of them, whom you presume is the head veterinarian, steps up. 

"Good morning team. Alright, first up, this is for the parrots. After conducting a check-up on Ringo last week, we have decided to increase the dosage of his medicine to 2 mg. Kun, please take note of this".

"Got it, thanks Taeil," a man wearing round-rimmed glasses speaks up from across you and Jisung.

"And for the snow leopards, how's Snowstar doing?" Taeil continues asking and typing on his phone.

"She's doing a lot better now. She's regained her appetite and energy, and isn't vomiting anymore," a male speaks, giving updates on said animal.

"Alright, that's good. We’ll come and check on her, and if all is well, you can take her off medication and resume feeding as per normal," Taeil recites, typing more notes into his phone. "Thanks Jeno. That's all the updates for today, any of you have any concerns about your animals?" Taeil continues to ask, sweeping a quick glance around the circle of zookeepers. "Then that's all I have, thank you Sicheng," he concludes, and his team steps to the side to make room for Sicheng.

The head zookeeper takes his place in the middle of the circle again. "Alright, then that's about all. Any new information will be disseminated through the group chat we have. All zookeepers, please come get your walkie-talkies. Thank you team, meeting dismissed," he concludes.

After picking up your walkie-talkie, you follow Jisung and another dark-haired male to a communal kitchen. "Hi y/n! I'm Jaemin," the latter introduces himself to you, offering you a handshake while grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"So the first thing we usually do in the morning is prepare breakfast for the animals," Jisung says as you make your way to the area set aside for the koala keepers. "We pick out fresh eucalyptus branches for four of our koalas. The fifth one's still a baby, so he'll just nurse from his mom. After that, if we still have time, we go help other zookeepers in preparing their animals' food".

That being said, three of you proceed to scour the stored pile of eucalyptus branches and pick out the freshest ones. When you're done with that, you each pluck a few leaves out and put them into feeder toys. "Same routine for their lunch and dinner, yeah?" Jaemin prompts, and you and Jisung nod.

You're done preparing the koalas' food fairly quickly, so you and Jisung go help the manatee keepers, Jaehyun, stash fresh vegetables and water plants into special floats, while Jaemin opts to help the birds-of-prey keepers gut the prey their birds will feed on. "Thanks for your help," he says as he gives you and Jisung a grateful smile. 

"Now we go ahead and feed these to the koalas,” Jisung instructs. "After they've eaten, check on them and ensure none of them are sick, injured or exhibiting strange behaviour. If any of them seem unwell, do flag it up, I’ll get the vets”. You make your way out to the koala enclosures with the two other zookeepers. He shows you specialised platforms where you can put the branches, and you set the branches down into the holes. Jaemin then leaves the feeder toys around the enclosure. 

Looking up, you spot the koalas making their way down from the eucalyptus trees to feed, and three of you go about checking on the animals. Jisung and Jaemin are so familiar with the koalas, they can tell each koala apart just by looking at them. It helped that each koala was able to respond when called by name, or else you’d have a hell of a time trying to tell them all apart. You notice a tiny koala head peering out of one koala's pouch, inquisitive eyes looking left and right. “Oh my gosh, so cute!” you can’t help but exclaim.

“Oh, that’s Kendra and her joey Max! She gave birth a while back,” Jaemin informs. 

Meanwhile, Kendra crawls along the length of the tree branch and sidles up next to Jisung, who giggles and lets her clamber onto him. “Go on, pat her! She’s very friendly,” Jisung encourages, and you do so, relishing the feeling of the koala’s fuzzy head leaning against your hand, and the texture of the fluffy koala fur. Another koala, Kyle, clings on to Jaemin, refusing to let go.

After feeding the koalas and ensuring their well-being, it’s cleaning time. You follow Jisung and Jaemin back to the staffroom to get the cleaning supplies, and enter the enclosure with them. Shovelling koala poop into buckets soon gets monotonous though, so you guys engage in conversation again. 

“If you guys want, you can go help other keepers out with their cleaning,” Jaemin says when you finish cleaning the area. “But I’ll stay behind to train the koalas. Keep your walkie-talkies with you, yeah".

“Let’s go help the monkey keepers,” Jisung suggests, and you follow him to find the monkey keepers. "Shotaro, do you need any help?" he asks as you pass by a male with small eyes and dark brown hair.

"I'm fine, thanks!" Shotaro answers. "But I think Renjun needs help with the spider monkey exhibit. Oh and, welcome to the team y/n!" he adds, showing you a bright eye smile. 

"Thank you!" you reply, and you're soon on your way with Jisung to the spider monkey exhibit. 

"Renjun, do you need some help cleaning up here?" Jisung asks the black-haired man, currently using a shovel to dig in the ground, a metal bucket beside him.

"Yes, please!" says Renjun, not looking up. 

"Hmm, maybe you can clean out the moat? I'll help clean other areas," Jisung suggests, and you agree. You return to the staff area to get a net, another shovel and two more buckets. Using the net, you fish out pollutants like trash and dead leaves from the moat, and then put it into the bucket, careful not to accidentally scoop up the fish inside. You continue doing your job, scrutinising each area you pass by thoroughly to make sure it is absolutely clean before moving on. 

However, what happens next makes you realise - it's probably wise to keep your eyes ahead of you as well.

You move a bit too quickly, colliding with someone else. Next thing you register is a startled yell, someone grabbing your arm, and your head going under water. Fortunately, the moat isn't very deep, and you find your way back up to the surface, spitting out mouthfuls of water that you'd accidentally gulped. Turning to your right, you see Renjun in the moat, coughing and spluttering up water as well.

"What happened?" Jisung splutters, running up to you and Renjun and pulling both of you out. You both looked a very sorry sight at the moment, dripping with moat water. 

"Y/n pushed me into the moat!" Renjun huffs, indignance clear in his voice.

"HEY! You pulled me in!" you retort.

"I panicked, ok? You knocked into me, I lost my balance, and I just tried grabbing something to steady myself! It's not my fault that I ended up grabbing your arm!" He argues, not willing to back down.

"Hey, hey, what's happening here?" another voice cuts your ensuing argument with Renjun off. From behind you comes another zookeeper, sporting chin-length brown hair, and following behind him is Shotaro. 

"They fell into the moat, Yuta," Jisung hurriedly tries to explain the situation before him – two grumpy-looking zookeepers, completely drenched from head to toe.

"I see. It's alright, go get changed, you'll be fine," Yuta says as Shotaro passes you and Renjun a towel and a spare set of clothes each. "Don't worry about it! Accidents happen," Yuta reassures. 

Thanking them, you hurry off in the direction of the female washroom, barely registering Jisung's instructions to look for him at the koala exhibit after you’re done. That idiot, pulling me into the moat and then blaming everything on me! You think as you dry yourself and change quickly.

You hurry to find Jisung back at the koala enclosure. "What happened?" Jaemin asks, seeing you come back with soggy hair and the biggest scowl engraved in your features.

"Long story," you mutter, throwing your damp hair into a bun. No time to tell them now, the zoo was nearing opening time, meaning visitors would soon start streaming in. Plastering a smile onto your face, you turn towards the entrance of the koala exhibit, preparing to receive the first visitors of the day.

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

"Thank you for coming! Enjoy the rest of your visit!" you repeat the same words to yet another batch of guests leaving the koala exhibit. 

"Good afternoon everyone. The zoo exhibits will be closing in fifteen minutes for the staff lunch break. In the meantime, you may stop by the nearby eateries for lunch, and come back again at 1 pm. Thank you very much". An announcement comes over the PA system. 

"Oh finally!" you sigh in relief. You’d spent about three hours ushering guests in, answering their questions, and stopping children from disturbing the koalas - and you were starving. 

"All good?" you hear Sicheng’s kind voice from beside you. As the head zookeeper, Sicheng wasn't in charge of one particular exhibit. Some days, he would station himself at one exhibit and assist the zookeepers there. Other days, like today, he would just supervise all the zookeepers, going from one exhibit to another to check on them.

"We're good!" Jaemin replies.

"That's great! There shouldn't be any more visitors for now, so you can go ahead and close up for lunch," Sicheng informs, and walks off again. 

Three of you head back to the staff area. There wouldn't be time to eat out, so you'd buy takeout and return to the staff area to eat.

"I'm gonna get macs, does anyone want anything?" one of the zookeepers asks. 

"Yes please!" Jaemin pipes up and gives the other zookeeper his order, Jisung doing the same.

"You want anything, y/n?" the zookeeper directs his question to you. 

“Yes, I’d like a cheeseburger meal! Thank you so much, I’ll pay you back later,” you reply, shooting the zookeeper a grateful look as he nods.

"Let's go prepare lunch for our koalas," Jaemin says, and you go back to the kitchen, repeating the same routine you followed in the morning to prepare the koalas' meal.

Not long after you're finished, lunch arrives. “Join us, y/n!” Jisung extends a friendly invitation to you as his usual group of friends sits down around a table. 

You accept their invitation, and join them at the table, ready to tuck in. “Let’s do a self-introduction, since y/n probably doesn’t know us yet,” one of them suggests. “I’m Mark, and I’m a pudu keeper,” he adds.

The introductions go on round the circle. Jeno the snow leopard keeper, Haechan the hippo keeper, Sungchan the tapir keeper, Shotaro the tamarin keeper who helped you after you fell into the moat, Chenle the meerkat keeper who so kindly bought lunch for all the zookeepers, but uh oh…who was that at the end of the circle?

“I’m Renjun. I’m usually at the monkey exhibits as well, but I’m mainly in charge of the spider monkey exhibit,” the last zookeeper says, and you don’t miss the unmistakable glare he shoots you. 

“Of course Sicheng made you work with monkeys. You’re as troublesome as a monkey, so you'd definitely do well there. I mean, it takes one to know one, right?” You can’t resist the opportunity, and shoot him a sarcastic comment.

"At least monkeys are smart, unlike you!” Renjun retorts, making no attempt to hide his irritation. 

“Woah, you guys just met, be nice!” Mark gently chides, although he’s laughing. Embarrassment heats up your cheeks as you feel like a kindergartener being scolded by her teacher. 

“Not really. We met this morning. How memorable,” Renjun says, tone dripping with sarcasm. 

“What happened?” Jeno asks, and the others lean forward to listen, all curious about what happened.

“I so nicely volunteered to help him clean the spider monkey exhibit, and in return for that, he pulled me into the moat and got me drenched,” you snort, summing up the events of the morning. Well, not the full truth, because it was kind of your fault too - but you weren’t gonna embarrass yourself by saying that in front of your new friends.

“Well what about the part where you pushed me in?” Renjun cuts in.

“It was an accident!”

“I pulled you in by accident too!”

“Enough bickering, y’all. Let’s forgive each other and move on, shall we? Accidents do happen, just be careful next time,” Shotaro’s soft voice cuts the argument off.

You shoot one last dirty look at Renjun, and then focus your attention on the conversation, listening with amusement as Haechan launches into a story of how one of the pudus chewed a hole in his hat that morning.

About forty minutes later, Sicheng interrupts the zookeepers' chatter by announcing that zookeepers should begin preparing for visitors to arrive again.

Following his instructions, three of you do a quick cleanup of the koala exhibit, just to make sure it's presentable for when guests arrive.

"Round two, let's go," Jaemin mutters as his watch strikes one, and you prepare for the next influx of visitors.

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

"Good evening everyone. The zoo will be closing in fifteen minutes, please vacate our premises by 8 pm. Thank you very much". The announcement finally comes over the PA system. Last batch of visitors, and you could go get dinner and then head home!

"Thank you for visiting! Do come again," you repeat again and again like a broken radio, waving all the guests out.

When all the guests have left, three of you bring down fresh eucalyptus leaves for the koalas' dinner, and the fluffy grey creatures approach you three to claim their treasures. 

"Guys, smile!" Jaemin says, and you turn around just as he raises his handphone and takes a wefie with you and Jisung. "Nice! I'm uploading this". You guess that he's uploading the pictures onto the zoo's social media platforms. 

It's only fifteen more minutes, but it feels like eternity after you finish cleaning up the exhibits and ensuring the animals are safe for the night. Bidding goodbye to your fluffy grey friends, three of you head back to the staff area to claim your bags. "Wanna come with us for dinner?" Jaemin asks you, and you agree, assuming that he was referring to the same group of colleagues you'd met at lunch. "You might have to wait a bit, though".

"That's alright," you reply, turning on your phone.

The group comes back one by one, until only Shotaro is left. He finally arrives twenty minutes later, rushing into the staff area. "I'm sorry! Tamarins make such a mess," he says, panting. It's clear that he's been running, from the sweat on his forehead and his heavy breathing.

"Dude, chill. We understand, we're not gonna leave without you," Mark laughs, giving the other time to catch his breath. "Anyway, where do you guys wanna eat?"

"Wanna eat at Subway? I'm craving that," Haechan suggests.

"Fine by me," Chenle says, shrugging.

"No violent objections? Subway it is then," Mark decides, leading the rest of you out of the zoo. It's then that you catch sight of Renjun in the group, chatting with Chenle, and you roll your eyes in disdain as you recall the events of the morning. God, why’s he everywhere?

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

"So, y/n, how was your first day of work?" Mark inquires once the whole group is settled down with their food.

You take a moment, quickly running over the events of the day in your head. "It was really eventful! I think I'll love it here," you reply, smiling from ear to ear. You weren't lying, you'd enjoyed your first day of work as a zookeeper thoroughly.

"What's your favourite part of the job?" Jaemin asks as he takes a bite of his sandwich. 

"Definitely the animals! They're so lovable!" your answer comes naturally, without you needing to think much of it. They were the reason you'd chosen this job, despite being offered others that most would perceive as more attractive. 

"Glad to hear you're settling in well," Jeno remarks, his smile radiating a kind glow. 

"Any interesting working experiences you guys have had that you'd like to share with our dear y/n?" Haechan poses the question to the guys sitting around the table. 

"Oh- yes actually. You know the free-roaming peacocks you see around the zoo?" Jisung says, turning to you, and you nod. You'd chanced upon some of them while getting around the zoo. "They have a knack for bothering visitors. I've lost count of all the times I've had to help visitors reclaim items that were snatched by peacocks, shoo them away when they blocked visitors' paths, or even stop them from randomly attacking visitors". That didn't surprise you. Earlier in the day, you'd watched as Sicheng struggled to pry a peacock's beak open to help a family get their entrance tickets back. 

"They might look pretty, but they can be such troublemakers," Sungchan adds, earning emphatic nods and mutters of agreement from the other guys. "Also, they’re terribly dumb. Some wander into the big cat enclosures and get torn up," he finishes.

Okay, that one got you. You're left gawking at Sungchan.

"For real! I witnessed it happen a long time ago," Jeno pipes up from across the table. "I was talking to this huge group of visitors, when one of the peacocks somehow got in - I dunno how either, maybe it got in when one of us opened the gate, and stayed there unnoticed. And then you know Baymax, our adolescent male? He stalked it, and then went in for the kill".

This time, it's Shotaro's jaw that drops. "In front of all the visitors?"

Jeno nods. "Tore it apart in front of the shocked adults and screaming children. Kinda feel bad that so many people saw it happen, but circle of life, y'know".

You feel yourself shudder after hearing Jeno's story. "Gosh, unlucky you. I hope I never witness that in my life".

"Oh! I've got another one. When you clean the parrots' perches, don't look up," Chenle says, bringing in his own story. "They wait for you to look up before taking a dump. That's how you get poop in your mouth. I speak from experience, since I used to be a parrot keeper before the meerkat exhibit opened”.

While you almost choke on your drink, the others guffaw at him. "Seriously? Wasn't that one of the first things Kun warned you about when you came?" Jaemin laughs.

"It was! But I never believed him, until I learnt the hard way. Regrets much," Chenle sighs.

"That's your problem," Renjun says with a smirk.

"Shut up!" Chenle exclaims, punching him on the shoulder. Somehow, you find yourself laughing at the interaction between him and Renjun, despite your dislike for the latter.

"Oh, I've got one too!" Sungchan exclaims. "Don't ever let tapirs turn their backs on you because-"

Before he can finish, he's cut off by exclamations of "that’s disgusting!" and "ew not now!" from the guys. 

“It’s not that bad, I swear!” Sungchan protests, trying to get everyone to calm down, while you’re left confused as to what was the story they were so desperately trying to get him to keep quiet about, and whether it was really that bad. 

“No, I don’t believe you. I’ve heard it before,” Shotaro disagrees, making a face. 

“If you really want to tell y/n, can you not do so while we’re all eating?” Jisung adds, making the same disgusted face as Shotaro. “Plus, it’s her first day working here! Don’t gross her out now!”

“Okay, fine, fine!” Sungchan laughs, raising his hands in surrender. 

The rest of dinner goes on well, with the boys telling you all sorts of hilarious stories of the animals they worked with, and lots of laughter. As you engage in conversation with them, you realise that it’s not only the animals that would make this job memorable, it was also the company you meet. 

With the exception of one guy, who’d been glaring daggers at you since dinner began. But if hanging out with your newfound friends meant putting up with him, you would gladly do so.

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

It's been about two months since you first stepped foot into the zoo as a new zookeeper. You'd grown from a clumsy, bumbling zookeeper who would ask for clarifications or google for every piece of information, you'd grown into a confident, assured zookeeper who knows her animals inside and out. 

You'd also come to grow close to all of your koalas - Kendra, Max, Kyle, Jackie and Jo, and also the vets and other zookeepers outside of your usual friend group. 

Your relationship with Renjun though? Still sour as ever - if not worse. Almost every day over the past two months, if you both weren't avoiding each other, you'd both get into spats over trivial matters - even down to where to eat dinner.

Which brings us to this moment. The two of you stand across each other, boring holes into the other’s soul with piercing glares. Arms akimbo and scowls on your faces, you both looked like roosters gearing up for a fight. 

“We already had that last week! I’m not eating there again,” Renjun insists, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Then? What else do you want?” You fire back, equally riled up. 

“I already told you, Chinese takeout is the most practical option! Then we could head over to Chenle’s house and eat there or something! Everything else is closed at this hour, and as I’ve stated many times, I’m not gonna be eating fast food again!” Renjun argues, trying to make you see things from his point of view. 

However, you weren’t so willing to budge. “First of all-” you begin, but you’re cut off by a voice. 

“With both of you arguing like crazed aunties at a market, there is no way I’m letting you into my house,” Chenle interjects, holding up his hand. 

“Wise choice,” Mark quips, watching the argument from his place on one of the armchairs. "What's up with you both? You keep stirring arguments up between yourselves for no reason-"

"It's okay, Mark. You know what they say – couples fight," Haechan interrupts with a mischievous grin, which you so wished to wipe off his face. 

"We are NOT a couple," you hiss, giving Haechan the best death stare you could. "And never will be".

"I meant a work couple! Like work husband and wife, you know," Haechan whines, feeling like your fierce response was uncalled for.

"You-"

Mark sighs, rubbing his temples in frustration. “Okay but seriously, can you guys just be civil with each other for once? You don’t have to like each other, but you’ve gotta stop exchanging blows in every conversation you guys have,” he adds, an imploring look on his face.

“Yeah, it’d be nice to all hang out together peacefully,” Jisung says, voice mousy-quiet. 

This causes you and Renjun to stop dead in your tracks. It was evident that your whole friend group was getting tired of all the back-and-forth squabbling between the both of you within work and outside of work. However, part of you still stood resolute, not wishing to apologise.

“Alright, I’m sorry you guys,” Renjun finally says, after what seems like an eternity of silence.

Well, you have to give credit where credit is due – your sworn nemesis was able to be the bigger person and apologise to the whole friend group, which meant that there was no reason you shouldn’t do so too. “Yeah, I’m sorry too,” you half-heartedly manage an apology. 

“All’s good. Now, if that’s all, can we go settle dinner now? I’m starving!” Jaemin whines. 

“I was gonna say the same,” Mark laughs. “Let’s go! We can eat at my house after we order food”.

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

“Hey y/n, could you come to the staff area for a bit? Over".

It’s just another day at the zoo when Sicheng calls for you out of nowhere through the walkie-talkie. “Yeah, what is it? Over,” you call back into your own walkie-talkie and excuse yourself from Jaemin and Jisung, racing towards the staff area as fast as your legs could carry you, being careful not to bump into any visitors. 

“Great! You’re here, thanks for coming so quickly,” Sicheng greets you with his trademark sweet smile, before gesturing for you to take a seat so he could explain. “So another overseas zoo has a rescue giant panda family, and a few red pandas as well. We need a couple of zookeepers to take care of them and help them to settle in. We see that you've grown a lot in your time as a zookeeper, and we think you’d be a good fit for the job. Are you alright with that?” He confirms with you. 

Your heart jumps at the thought of being able to work with new animals. What’s more, pandas were your favourite animals! When you were a child, your family would take frequent trips to the zoo, and you’d never fail to ooh and ahh at the giant pandas in the enclosure. There was just something about them that made you take an instant liking to them. You’d never seen red pandas in real life before, but you’d seen images and videos of them online, and you found them absolutely adorable. “Yes, of course!” you squeal, unable to contain your excitement.

Sicheng chuckles at the sight of how thrilled you are, and hands you a form. “Okay. It’ll take a while for them to arrive, but do fill out this form first,” he says, passing you a pen. You oblige, and begin penning your details onto the form.

“Sicheng, you called me?” A shiver runs down your spine as a dreadingly familiar voice sounds from the doorway. Hesitantly, you turn around, and you’re instantly met with a head of black hair and piercing black eyes, which sharpened their gaze as soon as they landed on you. Lo and behold, it was Renjun. 

“Ah yes, I was looking for you!” Sicheng answers, jogging over to Renjun, oblivious to the tension between the both of you. A sense of foreboding rises up in you. Please, please, let the other zookeeper not be him, you silently pray. 

However, to your dismay, you listen as Sicheng repeats the information he told you earlier to Renjun, and hands him a form as well. Meanwhile, you hear sounds of “okay,” “I see,” “that’s alright,” and “I understand” from Renjun. Gosh, I never thought this day would come. Having to work so closely with my worst enemy. 

“Thank you both for your time! More details will be given in the future. I’ll be helping both of you through the process, so don’t worry,” Sicheng reassures, giving both of you a smile and turning to exit the area. "Also! Don't tell anyone else yet, I'll make an announcement when the time is right," he adds quickly with a wink, before walking off. Both you and Renjun turn to him, giving him a pleasant smile and saying goodbye.

Once Sicheng leaves, the friendly vibe in the room dissipates, and is replaced with an atmosphere so icy-cold that even the penguins in Doyoung’s care would have frozen to death. “So, we’re gonna be seeing a lot more of each other from now on, huh,” you say, icicles in your tone as you glower at him.

“I guess. Not that I’m celebrating that fact, though,” Renjun replies equally coldly, returning your hostile gaze. 

“Neither am I. I only accepted the job because I love pandas. Never thought I’d have to work with you of all people,” you hiss, making your disgruntlement clear.

“Same here. If I’d known, maybe I’d have thought twice, but I wouldn’t throw away the chance to work with one of my favourite animals, so you better not mess this up for me,” Renjun warns, a haughty glint in his eye. 

“Bold of you to assume I’d screw things up. It’d be my own career I’m ruining. I should be the one giving you that warning,” you shoot. Turning on your heel, you flick your hair and walk out of the room, going back to the koala exhibit to find Jisung and Jaemin. Although there was some time before you’d actually have to take over the new exhibit with him, the mere thought of working with your sworn enemy filled you with so much dread. At least I get to work with some of my favourite animals, you think to yourself, trying to comfort yourself with that thought.

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

A few weeks later, you're preparing the koalas' breakfast again. Because you'd become more well-versed with the process of preparing their food, the three of you finish fairly quickly, so you guys decide to assist other zookeepers with breakfast preparations.

"y/n! thanks for coming to help," Hendery exclaims as soon as you reach the section of the kitchen intended for the nyalas.

"No problem," you answer, giving him the most reassuring smile you could muster. "How can I help?"

Hendery proceeds to explain the process of preparing food for nyalas to you, since you'd never done so before. It was quite a simple process, so you caught on quickly.

You've just finished setting aside yet another giant metal bowl of fruits, grass and flowers when Sicheng comes over to your side of the kitchen. "Sicheng! What's up!" Hendery greets with his usual exuberance.

"Hey," Sicheng greets back, giving Hendery a side hug. "I need to steal y/n, hope that's fine with you".

Your ears prick up at the mention of your name, and you instinctively swivel your head in the direction of where the duo are standing. Hendery clutches his chest, letting out a dramatic gasp and pretending to pass out. "So you only came for y/n? What about me?" he whines.

Sicheng rolls his eyes, and flicks Hendery's forehead. "Don't be dramatic. I need to talk to her and Renjun," he explains. 

"I'm joking," Hendery chuckles. "Of course you can''. He waves you off, and you follow Sicheng as he heads to the spider monkey exhibit to look for Renjun.

"Hey! I've been looking for you. Let Yuta and Shotaro know that you're with me," Sicheng shouts to Renjun, but you barely take notice. That is, until said boy emerges from the enclosure, and you both exchange glares as a very friendly form of greeting.

"The animals just arrived. They're here!" Sicheng breaks the unfriendly eye contact between you and Renjun with a snap of his fingers, and gestures for both of you to follow behind him. He leads you both behind the staff area, and opens up a door. You'd taken notice of that door before, but never entered. You wouldn't have been allowed to normally, anyway. That door is the veterinary clinic. 

"Before we take another step in, we've gotta put these on," Sicheng stops you and Renjun from walking further into the vet clinic as he slathers hand sanitiser over his hands, and passes a surgical cap, a mask, a special gown and a pair of surgical gloves to you. He hands a similar set to Renjun. "Don't forget to sanitise your hands too," he reminds before any of you put the gloves on.

Having been used to donning your usual work uniform, consisting of just a polo shirt and a pair of khaki shorts, you felt quite strange in the unfamiliar veterinary garb. However, you don’t complain, and make your way into the clinic, curiosity already gnawing at you like a hardworking beaver building a lodge.

The sight you're met with is enough to melt your heart on the spot - two giant pandas in their crates, sporting their characteristic black eye patches. One chews languidly on a stick of bamboo as Taeyong and Xiaojun examine its eyes with an otoscope, while the other lays down with its eyes closed. Beside them are four more sizable crates, each of them containing a red panda. They turn to you, regarding you with bright eyes that remind you of black marbles, curiosity reflecting in their gazes. "Oh my gosh! They're so cute!" before you can control yourself, a squeal escapes your lips as you set eyes on the animals before you. 

It seems like Renjun shares your sentiments, because his quiet whisper of "aww" sounds just beside your ear. Whipping your head around, you're surprised to see that his eyes reflect pure adoration and love as he gazes at the animals. Who knew that all that was needed to melt his icy exterior was two panda bears and four red pandas, you think as you chuckle to yourself.

Taeil spots all of you at the door, and he scrambles to lead you all in. "Hi! You're here to meet the pandas, right?" he confirms as he shuts the door, and is met with grunts of confirmation and head nods. "Okay! Right this way!"

You scurry to the crates as Taeil begins introducing the pandas one by one. "The sleeping giant panda is Liang Liang, and the one being examined by Xiaojun and Taeyong is Jing Jing. You can tell them apart by looking at their heads - Liang Liang has a tuft of fur on his head, so he kinda looks like an onion". At that moment, Liang Liang stirs and lifts his head, and that's when all three of you burst into laughter as you see his uncanny resemblance to the pungent vegetable. 

"Now the red pandas! This is Tao Tao, Mei Mei, Jun Jun, and Li Li. It might take a while to tell them apart, but don't worry, take your time to learn their personalities. Plus, they're able to respond to their names," Taeil continues, gesturing to each red panda's crate as he speaks.

"So adorable," Sicheng croons, lowering his head to get a good look at the animals, and you notice with amusement that Tao Tao pricks his ears forward and studies Sicheng as well. "How are they? All good and healthy?" Sicheng asks, directing his attention to Taeil as he whips out his phone to take notes.

"So far, we've examined all of them and given them a clean bill of health, except Jing Jing, who is being examined by Taeyong and Xiaojun now," Taeil responds. He casts a glance at the corner, where said vets are hard at work, before lowering his voice and adding, "There is something concerning, though. Her previous vet told me that she's been eating less, sleeping more, and becoming more sensitive to light and sound – all signs that she might be pregnant". 

The head zookeeper's expression morphs into one of shock. "Pregnant? No zoo should be sending pregnant animals out on flights!" he whisper-yells, eyes darting to cast a worried glance at Jing Jing.

"Nothing's confirmed yet. It could be a pseudo pregnancy," Taeil answers, putting a hand on Sicheng’s shoulder to calm him down since he’s visibly worried for the panda. "We'll perform an ultrasound scan on her, just to make sure, but other than that she seems healthy. In the meantime, since the others are healthy, you can go and settle them into their new enclosures first. We'll get back to you about Jing Jing as soon as possible," he promises.

Sicheng rests his head on his hand, clearly still concerned, as he lets out a quiet sigh. "Alright then. Thank you so much Taeil," he says, and motions to us. "Come, let's show them their new home," he says, and you and Renjun follow him again.

You'd already seen the panda enclosure once - it was absolutely stunning, with stalks of bamboo growing out from the ground, overhanging branches of bamboo leaves. A few other bushes growing with flowers of every colour a child's mind could conceive sat snugly in corners of the enclosure. Wooden platforms provided spaces for the pandas to lounge on, and a pond at the side proved useful for cooling off on a hot day. To top it all off, the air conditioner made the environment a cool, comfortable place, and you were sure all the animals would love their new living space.

"What we're gonna do now is load one crate onto a trolley, which I'll go get for you guys in a moment, push it to the new enclosure, and then try to get the panda to move in, okay?" Sicheng gives you and Renjun a run-down of the process of moving the animals into the enclosure, and you both nod. "We'll repeat this process for every single one of the pandas, so this might take a while. Wait right here while I fetch the trolley".

Just as Sicheng turns to go to the staff area, a crackling noise emits from his walkie-talkie. He freezes, listening to whatever the other zookeeper is saying on the other end of the device. "Oh no! I'm on my way. Get Kun and ask him to bring the first aid kit. Over," Sicheng hurriedly finishes the conversation, worry evident in his tone. "There's been an emergency at the snow leopard enclosure, I've got to go. Do you both think you can handle the pandas yourself?" He explains the situation and asks, gazing at you both imploringly.

You and Renjun exchange glances, before shrugging and turning back to Sicheng. "We can try," Renjun answers, and Sicheng nods. 

"Okay, good. If you need anything, call for one of your other friends, because I'll likely be away for a while. But I'll be as quick as I can," he hurriedly explains, and then rushes off. 

Renjun pushes past you, running in the direction of the staff area, before turning abruptly and stopping to look at you. "Well? What are you waiting for? Hurry up!" he bosses, before running off again.

"Be more patient!" you shout in annoyance, before rolling your eyes and hurrying off after him.

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

“Push harder, will you? Ugh, damn it!” 

It’s been about fifteen minutes since you and Renjun began. You’d successfully moved the red pandas into the enclosure, and they’d immediately begun exploring their new habitat, curiously sniffing here and there. Li Li even jumped into the small pond of water the moment she noticed. 

However, the same could not be said about Liang Liang. You and Renjun had huffed and puffed, and tried to move the trolley, but it still wouldn’t budge, and both of you were growing more and more impatient by the minute.

“I’m trying, okay? Just shut up and push!” you snap at Renjun, unable to keep all the pent-up frustration in you any longer. The both of you make another attempt to push the trolley, but to no avail.

“You’re not even putting in any effort!” Renjun scolds, slumping against the trolley after giving one last heave.

“Who’s the one leaning on the trolley huh?” you spit, shooting laser beams at him with your eyes.

“What’s going on?” a familiar voice interrupts, and you turn to see Chenle running up to you, with Johnny, Haechan and Jungwoo in tow. “Sicheng isn’t free now, so he sent us to help you guys out, and we arrive to find you guys bickering like Kun’s noisy parrots”.

"The couple is fighting again, I see," Haechan says with a smirk, which you ignore.

“We can’t move the panda ourselves,” you admit, heat blooming in your cheeks as the embarrassment of being caught in another argument sinks in.

“You know you could have asked us for help earlier, right?” Johnny chuckles, eyes sparkling with amusement. “It’s alright, we’re here to help now. Let’s get to it!”

With four other people helping to move the giant panda, it gets a lot easier and you're finally able to heave the trolley along. Finally, Liang Liang's crate arrives safely in the enclosure.

"There's one more panda right?" Jungwoo  inquires, and Renjun nods. 

"She's still in the vet clinic though," he adds.

"Alright, call us again if you guys need more help," Jungwoo says, walking away with the other three zookeepers. "See you guys later!"

Bidding them goodbye, you both turn your attention back to the panda, still chewing on a bamboo stalk lazily. "Liang Liang, hello," you croon gently, squatting down in front of the cage. "Time to explore your new home".

To your chagrin, the panda lifts his head and regards you briefly, only to return to chewing the bamboo stalk, stretching out nonchalantly. "Hey, don't you want to come out? Your friends are here, you know". You try again to get the panda to come out of the crate, but this time he blatantly ignores you, attention still fixated on the stalk of bamboo.

"You've got to move, you know. You can't live in this plastic crate forever," you try once more to convince the panda to come out, but to no avail. At this point, your patience was already worn thin from previous multiple failed attempts to push the crate, and also from trading verbal blows with Renjun. 

You're so wrapped up in your cloud of thoughts that you fail to see Renjun approach you slowly. He comes up from behind you, stepping up to where the panda was. Slowly, he crouches down in front of it, speaking to it in what sounds like Mandarin. As you listened, you secretly marvelled at how fluent his Mandarin was. Though you learnt the language too, you'd never come close to even scoring a B in all your school life, and even now when you spoke it, it came out in broken bits and pieces, and you'd stutter and stammer like a broken engine. 

To your amazement, the panda lifts its head and looks at Renjun, seemingly paying attention to what he was saying. Slowly, it rises from the ground, and lumbers out of the crate, sniffing the air. 

You have to admit, Renjun had used a smart move – speaking Chinese, the panda's "native language", to get it to cooperate.

Renjun turns to you, only to see you with your mouth open so wide you could catch flies. His lips curve into a smug smirk, sending your blood boiling. "Watch and learn," he sniggers. 

"I…I-" you attempt to garble out an intelligent insult to fire back at him, but your mind draws a blank. Luckily, the crackling of your walkie-talkie saves you. 

"Y/n, can you come to the vet clinic now, please? Bring Renjun with you. Over," Sicheng's voice emits from the earpiece sitting snugly in your ear.

"On our way. Over," you reply, putting the walkie-talkie back into your pocket. "Sicheng's waiting for us at the vet clinic. Hurry up!" you snap at Renjun, before quickening your steps and heading in the direction of the vet clinic.

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

"We've just run an ultrasound on Jing Jing, and…she's pregnant". Taeil drops a bombshell the moment you guys arrive at the clinic.

At this statement, you gasp in shock, unable to believe your ears. The zoo sent a pregnant panda on a long flight? 

Renjun's mouth hangs agape, while Sicheng's eyes glaze over with worry. "How's the baby? And how is Jing Jing? A pregnant panda might not be able to withstand the stress of a long flight all the way from China!" he rambles, words tumbling over each other.

"She's alright," Xiaojun steps in, trying to reassure all of you (mainly Sicheng, though). 

"The foetus looks fine too, so don't worry too much," Taeyong adds with a soft smile.

Hearing this, Sicheng's shoulders relax as he breathes a sigh of relief. You let out one too, after realising that you'd unconsciously held your breath as you nervously waited for the three vets to deliver news, whether good or bad.

Taeil sits down at his computer, makes a few clicks with a mouse, and then turns the screen to you. "These are pictures from the ultrasound scan," he says, drawing up the first picture. "See? This is the foetus," he says and points out a tiny, jelly bean shaped lump on the screen. He continues to show you the pictures one by one, and you look on, awed by what you see. You'd only ever seen pictures of human ultrasound scans, but never ones of a panda's. "Both mama panda and the baby are healthy right now, but keep a close eye on them in the meantime. I'd also like to prescribe her some supplements," Taeil informs three of you, gesturing for you to follow him to a shelf stocked with medicines. He scans the rows of medicines, before picking out two bottles of tablets. After he explains the procedure for administering the medicine, three of you say your thanks and leave.

"I'm kind of concerned for Jing Jing," Sicheng admits as he heads back to the enclosure with both of you. "No – that's an understatement, I'm really concerned".

Sensing that Sicheng was quite tense and anxious, you look up at him and reassure him, "don't worry. The vets have given both of them a clean bill of health, and I'll definitely do my best to look after her well". 

Renjun pats Sicheng on the shoulder, trying to comfort him. "I'll do my best too. We all want Jing Jing and her baby to be strong and healthy," he says gently.

For once, you actually agreed with him.

Sicheng smiles back at both of you. "Thanks guys," he says, before a slight frown appears on his face again. "I still want to have a word with the zoo that sent them over, though. It's very dangerous to send a pregnant animal on a flight!" he exclaims.

Renjun nods, humming in agreement. "Wise choice. I'd do the same if I were you," he muses.

Sicheng nods. "Anyway, we'll just let them settle into their new environment for today. They've surely been through a lot," he laughs. "I mean, imagine a trip all the way from China in a plastic crate".

That statement draws giggles from you and Renjun. "So today, both of you just stay here and take care of the pandas, okay? You guys can always call me if you need any help," he instructs, and both of you agree. "Alright, I'll be off now then. See you guys around!"

You and Renjun wave goodbye to him, before sitting down outside the enclosure, maintaining a gap as wide as the Pacific Ocean between both of you. Letting out a huff, you turn away from him and rivet your eyes on the animals in the enclosure. You observe Li Li and Mei Mei frolicking in a tree, Liang Liang attempting to climb a tree, Jun Jun making himself comfy on a wooden platform…

You register a sharp pain as your head hits the glass panel in front of you with a loud thump, and wake with a start. "Ow!" Rubbing your forehead, you whip your head from left to right, trying to figure out where you are. Oh right, you were in the panda enclosure.

To your chagrin, Renjun is looking right at you, biting back a laugh. "Shhh," he hisses, holding a finger to his lips. "Don't knock on the glass," he sneers, still smirking at you as he points at the sign on the glass. His tone was so patronising, it made your blood boil. You were not a child, and would not stand to be treated as such.

"It was an accident!" you return, defensiveness creeping into your tone. 

"But you're still not supposed to knock on the glass," Renjun reasons, with the same snobbish tone you detested with all your life.

"I already said it was an accident! For fuck's sake!" you're unable to contain your frustration any longer, and snap at him.

"You can't keep getting into accidents if you want our pandas to grow strong and healthy," he argues. You find your eyes rolling back so far, you swear you can see your brain.

"Accidents happen, and you need to learn to accept that, Huang Renjun. Next time you get into an accident I'm gonna laugh at you too," you huff, exasperation increasing by the second.

"I'm only trying to help! Take a damn comment, y/n!" his voice increases in volume as he says. Arrows seem to shoot from his eyes as he shoots you a vexed glare.

A growl emits from the enclosure, seeming to express displeasure. Jing Jing is now wide awake, looking in Renjun's direction, and you swore that her round, ebony-black eyes held the slightest tinge of vexation as she gazed straight at him.

A snicker emits from your throat, and you seize the opportunity to have a go at him as revenge. "Shhh". Turning to him, you imitate his earlier actions, putting your finger over your lips and sending him the same condescending look he'd eyed you with just minutes ago. "Don't wanna wake Jing Jing up from her beauty sleep, do you?" Your heart swells with glee as his features twist into a disgruntled scowl. “See, you’ve made her upset”.

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Renjun mutters, turning away in a huff and crossing his arms. “At least I’m not the one who failed miserably at getting Liang Liang to come out of his crate!”

You don’t say anything, but merely stick your tongue out at him. For once, you had the last laugh in your face-off with Renjun. 

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

Even though you were an argumentative person by nature, you had to admit that all the bickering was taking its toll on your sanity. You were beginning to go nuts – to the point that you'd begun conversing with your own charges. 

Especially Jing Jing, the one you'd grown the closest to.

"Oh, Jing Jing, I'm so frustrated," you complain to the panda in front of you as you caress her head, while she munches on a bamboo shoot, making contented noises from time to time. 

Jing Jing looks at you and tilts her head to the side, seemingly confused about what you were saying. 

"Your other caretaker gives me so much trouble. So nice to you, yet so nasty to me," you continue to lament as Jing Jing looks on, as if she were listening to your every word. "What do I do? Working with him is awful. Yet, I love you all so much, I don't wanna stop working here".

Jing Jing gives a low rumble, and nudges you slightly with her nose. Peeking in the direction of where she was pointing, you spy Renjun sitting on one of the wooden platforms cross-legged with Tao Tao in his lap.  Xiaojun was there to check on the red panda, who'd taken a tumble off a low branch.

"You want me to get along with him–? No, Jing Jing, I can't – he's so difficult," you shake your head in immediate protest, only earning another encouraging rumble from the panda.

Another sigh leaves you. "He's terrible, I swear. There's no way we'll ever be able to get along," you whine, picking at a shoot of bamboo. Then a thought hits you, and you perk up a bit. "But if working with you means I have to bear with him, I'll gladly do so. Get it? Bear with him? Because you're a bear," you giggle quietly at the joke you cracked

Jing Jing takes no heed to your lame joke, returning her attention to the pile of bamboo in front of her. Meanwhile, out of concern for the poor animal, you look back in Renjun's direction.

"He's not hurt, except for that cut. I'll come by to disinfect it every day, so that there's a lower chance of it getting infected," Xiaojun states, preparing his veterinary kit as Renjun nods. 

Tao Tao's squeals and whimpers of pain as Xiaojun applies antiseptic to the wound shoot right to your heart, making you want to give him a warm hug and assure him that it'd be over soon. Xiaojun winces at every one of Tao Tao's pitiful cries, and his repeated whispers of "sorry, sorry" drift into your ears. 

"Hey, relax, okay?" you catch Renjun saying to Tao Tao in a soothing, pleasant voice, a stark contrast to the jarring, harsh tone you heard so often during your all too frequent squabbles. "I know it hurts, but it's to help you become strong and healthy again so you can go play with your didis and jiejies, okay? It's gonna be over soon. Hang in there". He continues to whisper comforting words to the red panda, all while stroking his head gently. It seems to help, because Tao Tao begins to calm down, only letting out occasional whines from time to time.

Witnessing this tender side of Renjun made your heart melt, and – though you didn't want to admit it, dissolve at least a tiny bit of the hatred you felt towards him. Seeing him treat Tao Tao so lovingly somehow gave you this warm, fuzzy feeling inside, like a cup of peppermint tea on a stormy day.

Xiaojun finishes cleaning the wound as quickly as he started, and is now bandaging it carefully. "He's good to go," Xiaojun confirms, gently placing one more piece of tape over the plaster to hold it in place.

Renjun shoots Xiaojun a look of gratitude, and then returns his attention to Tao Tao. "There. All done. See, no more pain!" he says to Tao Tao, using the same tone one would use to cheer up a young child. 

Unknowingly, while watching the whole scene before you, a sliver of a smile had formed on your lips, gradually growing as the sweet scene unfolded before you. Just then, he looks in your direction, and you hastily swivel your head back to Jing Jing, avoiding eye contact with him. Maybe, just maybe, you'd be able to get along with him. 

Or would you?

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

The next few weeks spent preparing the panda enclosure for official opening were well…chaotic. Renjun and you got along just as well as a bear and wolf in the same enclosure, and every interaction both of you had seemed to drive a bigger wedge between both of you. Working with him wasn't getting any more pleasurable. The only thing keeping you going was, well, the pandas. Today, things are unusually heated, even for the both of you.

"Y/n! Pass me another shoot of bamboo!" Renjun bellows from one end of the kitchen.

"Get it yourself! Can't you see I'm busy?" you scream in response, busily washing the bamboo leaves in a big basin.

"You're closer to it than I am. Go get it for me!"

"Is it that hard for you to take a few steps and come get it yourself?"

"Is it that hard for you to take one and pass it to me?"

"Ugh! Whatever, here". You finally relent, albeit grudgingly. Picking up a few more bamboo shoots from the nearby pile, you storm over to Renjun's side of the kitchen and unceremoniously plonk them onto his table, earning you a glare of fury.

"Renjun! What are you even doing! There's still a smudge here!" you holler, blood pressure rising at the sight of a smudge of grime on the glass panel of the enclosure while cleaning up the place.

"I know, I know! I'm coming! So fucking impatient," the irked response comes from the other end of the enclosure, the last part purposely being said softer. 

"I heard that!" you snap, burning a hole into him with your infuriated glare, which he simply returns.

The rest of the morning goes by with more scuffles between both of you. You'd both cool down in the presence of guests, only to return to fighting like elephant seals as soon as they left. As usual, Sicheng was an unfortunate witness to most of them, but he simply raised an eyebrow at the both of you and didn't scold any of you at any point.

"Oi Renjun! We're having a class of kindergarten children over later, better not fuck up!" you bark, in a sullen mood from earlier events.

"I know what I'm doing! Mind your own business and make sure you don't fuck up," Renjun says brusquely. "Now you better shape up, because they're coming!"

Your eyes slowly make a 180° flip upwards, but you still manage to hastily turn the corners of your mouth upwards as you turn towards the entrance, preparing to receive the class of students. It was your last batch of guests for the day, and you wanted to quickly get it over and done with so you could go get dinner. 

"Hi everyone! Welcome to the panda exhibit!" you begin, waving your hands in exuberance and greeting them cheerfully. From the corner of your eye, Sicheng gives you a thumbs up, a smile of approval on his face.

Assurance settles in your chest, and you continue. "I'm y/n, and beside me is Renjun. We're the zookeepers in charge of this exhibit, and we'll be showing you around today. Follow us!"

You lead them around to the other side of the exhibit, where two fluffy, black and white heads soon come into view. 

"Aww, so cute!"

"Panda!"

"Which is Liang Liang and which is Jing Jing?"

A hoard of squeals of adoration, along with some questions arises from the crowd of kindergarteners before the both of you, and both of you hurry to calm them down. "Alright, questions one by one!" Renjun yells over the noise. "Raise your hand to ask".

A boy with dark hair puts his hand up. "Who is who?" he asks, head tilted to the side with a quizzical expression.

Renjun looks out into the enclosure, squinting his eyes slightly to make out the pandas. "Oh! The one munching on bamboo is Liang Liang, while the one sleeping next to him is Jing Jing. Liang Liang's head looks a bit like an onion. See? There's a tuft of fur sticking out from the top of his head," Renjun explains to the children. A chorus of "oohs" and "ahhs" come from the children as they continue staring at the pandas, agog with curiosity. 

"Did you know that pandas used to be all white?" Renjun quips, distracting the children momentarily.

"Really?" They chorus, and Renjun just gives them a nod. 

"This is a legend, from a long, long time ago". From there, he tells them the story of how pandas got their black colouration from – a legend of a shepherdess who'd given her life to save a panda cub from a leopard. The heartbroken pandas attended her funeral, and wore black armbands as a sign of respect. Unable to contain their grief, they hugged each other and sobbed piteously. The cries got so loud that they covered their ears to block out the noise. The black colouration rubbed off onto wherever they touched themselves, and from then on, all pandas carried the black marks. 

Your curiosity was piqued, as you'd never heard of such a legend in your entire life. As Renjun continued telling the tale, your heart seemed to shatter into pieces slowly. He told the story as if he had lived to witness the whole thing, and told the story in such a poignant manner that he made you feel as if you were at the shepherdess's funeral yourself.

"And that's how the panda got its black-coloured markings," Renjun concludes with a small smile.

Most of the kindergarteners seem to be fascinated by the story, some even showing mild sadness on their faces. However, a piercing cry comes from one child, startling everyone present.

"Oh my goodness, I'm sorry, don't cry! It's just a legend, it's all pretend," Renjun exclaims, flying into a panic. "It didn't actually happen. It's just a story," he adds, attempting to calm the child down. 

The awe you felt over Renjun's storytelling skills quickly becomes converted to rage, and the child's piteous cries only serve to fan the flames of fury in your heart, and you have to hold yourself back from giving Renjun a tight slap. "What the hell, you dumbass! You made a child cry!" you burst.

"How would I have known?" Renjun lashes out at you in defence. "It's literally a story told to kids!"

"You should have thought twice before telling them!" you argue back, not wishing to back down. 

"I already apologised, for fuck's sake!"

"So what? You still upset the kid, you dou-"

"Alright, everyone!" Your altercation is broken up by Sicheng, who gently pushes both of you aside, and makes his way in between the both of you while clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. The child has already stopped crying, thanks to the teacher who soothed her, and everyone's attention is now riveted on Sicheng. "Let's do something happier – hopefully this will cheer you all up! Who wants to see the red pandas?" He asks, eyes sparkling as he addresses the children. "Me! Me!" Exhilarated cries resound in the exhibit, and soon they're all jumping up and down in delight.

"Okay, come, This way!" Sicheng says, beaming as he gestures for the kindergarteners to follow him. They follow behind him, still whispering and giggling as they're unable to contain their excitement. Meanwhile, you trail behind, amazed by his expertise with the children. 

Fortunately, the remaining segment of their tour goes well, and the whole class leaves the panda exhibit all smiles. You usher them out, uttering the standard phrases. 

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

As soon as the last child is out of the enclosure, Sicheng turns to you and your colleague, arms folded across his chest. The once pleasant expression he wore morphs into a livid one, and you could literally feel the anger radiating off him. If looks could kill, both you and Renjun would have died a thousand deaths on the spot. For the first time in your life, you feared your boss – who was usually so mild-tempered and sweet. "We apparently need to talk about how to behave at work," he snarls, voice an octave deeper than usual which drives fear deeper into the crevices of your heart. You watch apprehensively as he draws in a deep breath, before slowly breathing out again. "Arguing on the job? Pushing blame instead of helping one another out? Swearing in front of visitors? Was any of that professional?" He fires question after question like bullets at the two of you, eyeing both of you expectantly. "Well?" 

"...no, it wasn't," you reply with a quivering voice, hesitation creeping into your voice. Your heart judders like a jackhammer in your heart as he nods curtly, acknowledging your reply.

"I thought so," he responds. "Then what should you guys have done?"

"...stayed calm, helped each other". This time, the soft, shaky reply comes from Renjun. It drilled the realisation of how terrifying Sicheng could be when angry – so scary that he could even zap the confidence of your arrogant colleague and reduce him to a stuttering bundle of nerves – further into your mind.

Sicheng responds with a grunt of acknowledgement, and then takes a deep breath before saying his piece. "Y/n, it's good that you were concerned about the child, but what wasn't good was your response. You could've helped Renjun to calm the child down as well, instead of lashing out at him".

You nod, unable to speak due to how cowed you felt in his presence. Directing his attention to Renjun, Sicheng begins another admonishment. "Renjun, it's not your fault that the child cried. I didn't expect that reaction from her either. But you should have stayed calm and continued comforting her, instead of blowing up at y/n's comments there and then. In doing so, you upset the child more".

"Yes sir, I understand," Renjun replies meekly, head bowed. 

Sicheng sighs heavily again, bringing up his fingers to rub his temple as he speaks. "It's not just today. I've lost count of the number of times you've both started fights between yourselves at work, and it needs to stop. I've said it once, and I'll say it again; quarrelling at work is awfully unprofessional. You're expected to settle your differences amicably, not lash out at each other like that. You guys constantly being at each other's throats is gonna stress the animals out too – and it's not gonna be good for any of them, especially Jing Jing".

Your heart does a nosedive as soon as he mentions Jing Jing. You'd never considered the negative impact the constant arguing would have on her! Your mind flashes back to that "conversation" you'd had with her, and you realised why she wanted so badly for you and Renjun to work peacefully together.

"I'm not saying that both of you have to like each other, but that both of you need to work on getting along better at work, because good communication is key. Is that clear?" Sicheng concludes, shooting both of you with an expectant glare.

"Yes, sir," you echo after Renjun, mind still in a blur.

Sicheng nods, satisfied with the response. "Good. Go on and pack up, after this you can go off for dinner".

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

The clean-up session is muted, a stark contrast to the usual intense squabbling between both of you as you sorted out things in the enclosure. As you wipe down the glass walls, you reflect on your earlier actions, shame and guilt finally settling in like ink on white cloth. You honestly had no idea what drove your unprofessional behaviour back at the guided tour.

And in the first place, you couldn't put your finger on why you hated Renjun so much to begin with.

Caught up in your thoughts, you fail to notice the presence of your colleague beside you. "Hey, I'm sorry," a soft voice comes from beside you, making you jump in shock. It's Renjun who's beside you, averting his gaze from you as he mumbles his apology. "I shouldn't have reacted so aggressively earlier".

His words hit you like a bolt from the blue, leaving you stunned. In that moment, your hatred for Renjun gives way to admiration for him, as you realise how humble he really is at heart. Sure, he was in the wrong too, but you should have been the one to step up and say sorry first, considering that it was you who'd initiated the whole incident.

"No worries," you whisper, giving him a small smile. "I should be apologising. I lashed out at you first and started the whole thing".

"We both were in the wrong," Renjun concedes as he picks up another mop and begins to help with cleaning the glass walls as well, and you hum in agreement.

Another period of silence between both of you follows, only this time, it carries an air of comfort and peace about it and not the usual thick tension. You don't know what drove you to do such a thing, but in the moment that follows, you say something you never dreamed that you'd ever say. "Hey Renjun, I realise that it's not gonna benefit anyone if we stay stuck in this endless volley of arguments. It wouldn't allow us to get things done efficiently, and it'd also stress the pandas out. From now on, can we put our bad blood behind us and get along? At least just at work," you suggest, sticking your hand out to offer him a truce. 

Renjun's eyes glaze over thoughtfully as he looks at your outstretched hand, contemplating your offer. It doesn't take him long though, because before you know it, he's taking your hand and shaking it firmly. "Truce. I'm honestly tired of arguing with you all the time, and I hope we can get along better from now on," he replies, beaming wider than you'd ever seen from him before.

Wow. His smile is kinda adorable.

You dismiss the fleeting thought from your head, praying that you weren't blushing as you turn away from him,  smiling from ear to ear. "Shall we go look for the rest to have dinner?" he suggests as you pick up your tote bag.

As if on cue, your stomach lets out an embarrassingly loud growl. You had forgotten to bring your wallet, ao you didn't eat lunch, only telling your friends that you weren't hungry. However, the painful hunger pangs seemed to be growing minute by minute, and you found yourself in desperate need of some sustenance. "I didn't bring my wallet," you admit, still in disbelief at your absentmindedness. "I'll tag along, but I won't get any food," you decide, choosing to use the time to socialise with your friends. 

"You need to eat something. I'll pay for your meal," Renjun offers kindly. "I have more than enough money for myself, so don't worry".

Hearing this, your heart swells with gratitude. "Thank you so much! I'll pay you back tomorrow," you promise, folding your hands together in gratitude.

Renjun waves his hand, dismissing you. "It's alright. My treat," he insists, making his stubbornness clear through his tone.

"I can't accept that, Renjun – just allow me to pay you back," you attempt to reject his offer again, but to no avail.

"It's fine! Take this as my way of making up for being such an asshole to you for so long," he laughs, once again showing his pearly whites. 

"Fine then. Thanks so much, Renjun," you stutter, cheeks lighting up red again. "I'll repay your kindness next time".

"It's no problem," Renjun says quietly, the soft, sweet smile still on his face.

You had to admit, it felt nice – refreshing even, to hang around your enemy without the usual atmosphere of animosity, and in your heart of hearts you hoped that your interactions would be more like this from now on. 

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

"Y/n, don't forget to add Jing Jing's supplements into her breakfast," Renjun reminds you as you both go about the bustling kitchen, rushing to prepare food for the pandas. 

"I'm on it!" you answer, swiping the jar from a shelf in the corner. "Two tablets, right?"

"Yep!" Renjun's distant reply sounds out as he rummages through a cupboard on the far end of the room.

"Alright, thanks!" You proceed to dish out the amount that you had to give her, then crush up the pills and mix them into her food.

It's been about a month since you and Renjun decided to call a truce with each other, and things were going much better than before. Initially, there were some minor scuffles, but you'd both managed to talk things out instead of yelling at each other again. Now, you were both able to have a peaceful working relationship with almost no disagreements. Occasionally, your heart would choose to beat a tad bit faster, or your face would heat up just by the slightest bit as you talked to him, even if it was something just as simple as asking if he would be joining you guys for dinner, or how Tao Tao was doing. Yet, you could never quite pin the reason why down. However, slowly but steadily, you found your friendship with him growing stronger, like a newly-budded flower in the springtime. But as the friendship blossomed…so did those other feelings, which you just brushed aside the best you could.

"The vets are coming later, right?" you fact check with Renjun, who bobs his head in reply.

"Yep, they are. Gonna do another ultrasound on Jing Jing and update us on how she's doing," Renjun says, summarising what you'd heard. 

"I'm excited for the arrival of her baby," you comment as you bring the food out. 

"Me too!" Renjun agrees. "New animal births are always exciting! I remember when Sarah was pregnant with Cedrick – all of the zookeepers couldn't stop talking about it for weeks," he gushes as he recalls the time a new baby tapir was born. "When Sarah was due, Sungchan stayed overnight with Sicheng and the vets to ensure their well-being". 

"Wow, he’s so dedicated," you gasp, feeling a sense of admiration towards your friend, while making a mental note to treat his behaviour as something you should model.

Renjun nods emphatically. "He really is. That's what I admire about him, and I hope to have the same level of commitment towards our pandas," he comments, smiling as he thought of his colleague and friend who'd shown such high levels of dedication to their work.

At that moment, Taeil arrives. After a quick chat, he sets up his equipment and gets to work on Jing Jing. "Her progesterone levels have peaked and are now on a downward trend. This is a sign that she's likely within weeks of giving birth," Taeil informs both you and Renjun, who are waiting anxiously at the side.

Upon hearing the news, you both let out a unanimous gasp, following with a flurry of questions coming from both of you. "How's the baby?" "When's the due date?" "Is Jing Jing healthy too?" "Is it a boy or a girl?"

Taeil chortles and then gets you and Renjun to calm down. "Both Jing Jing and her baby are okay. She seems to be about 3 months pregnant, so the projected due date would be between 28 May to 6 June. As for its gender, we won't be able to tell until about six weeks after it's born". Taeil slowly addresses all the questions you and Renjun bombard him with, patiently explaining everything that you wanted to know. 

"Right now, continue to ensure that she eats healthy and gets sufficient sleep. I'll also prescribe her another supplement – she'll have to continue taking this one until a few weeks after her pregnancy, but after she's given birth she can stop the other one".

Taeil leaves after handing you the bottle, and both you and Renjun fly into a frenzy, jumping around the enclosure like excited toddlers who'd just gotten new toys. "She's gonna give birth soon! I can't wait for the cub to arrive!" you squeal, excitement already overflowing out of you.

"Me too! It's gonna be so adorable!" Renjun gushes, eyes sparkling with delight. But while you're both in your state of euphoria, a grumpy, guttural noise emits from the other end of the enclosure.

"Oops. We woke Liang Liang up," you realise, softening your voice.

"Oh yeah. Sorry boss," Renjun turns to face Liang Liang, doing a small bow while apologising. Amused by his actions, you burst into guffaws, and get the same reaction from Liang Liang again. "Shhh!" Renjun quickly quiets you down, while chortling softly to himself. 

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

The bunch of you were out at dinner together. Having grown bored of eating the same things over and over again, you all decided to find a different place to eat. A few google searches and a mini-poll had led you guys to a cafe in a nearby shopping mall that sold all sorts of Singaporean dishes. 

Throughout the meal, you and Renjun periodically giggled and chatted quietly, just between both of you as you sat next to each other at lunch. You both hadn’t been talking about anything much, mostly about Jing Jing and her cub since the news about her cub had sent you both over the moon.

“Y/n and Renjun, you guys seem to be very thrilled about something today. Care to enlighten us?” Jeno questions, looking up from his chye tau kueh staring in you and Renjun’s direction when you nudge him for the umpteenth time. 

Uh oh. Your friends' curiosity had been piqued. You exchange glances with Renjun, his panicked look matching your own. “Should we tell them?” you whisper to Renjun. He takes a moment to think, before responding with a soft smile and a nod.

“What, are both of you dating?” Haechan asks, a teasing smirk forming on his face. 

“What the hell, no!” a unanimous exclamation comes from both you and Renjun. “There’s nothing between us!” you add, desperation in your voice. “Anyway…you remember the pandas me and Renjun got assigned to take care of? The female, Jing Jing, has been pregnant for a while, and she’s gonna have her baby soon,” you reveal.

A stunned hush falls over the table. Right after, the excited chatter starts up again, even more intense than earlier. "Wait what? No way! When's the baby due?" Mark asks, his jaw dropping to the floor. 

"In about a few weeks," Renjun answers.

"We're gonna welcome a new baby panda soon!" Haechan exclaims, eyes shining with glee.

"I can't wait to see it," Jisung enthuses.

Amidst the mini celebration, Jeno's brow furrows with worry. "Wait, but doesn't that mean that the zoo flew her over while she was pregnant?" he questions.

"Yeah, pregnant animals shouldn't be on flights. Wouldn't they be stressed?" Shotaro adds, sharing his friend's concerns.

"Yeah, it was so irresponsible of them!" Renjun says, incensed. 

"Sicheng called the other zoo to talk to them about the panda. I heard they're facing charges for their irresponsibility," you say, putting all their concerns to rest.

"Phew, that's good," Jisung responds. "Also, Jaemin, you good? You’ve been so quiet, I thought you’d be more excited over the baby panda," he asks, turning to his colleague.

“Yeah, it’s just…Haechan has a point,” Jaemin says, the sudden change of topic stunning everyone. Noticing the quizzical expressions on everyone’s face, he explains himself. “I mean c’mon, don’t Renjun and y/n act like work husband and wife to you?” 

Hearing that makes you nearly spit out the sip of iced milo you had in your mouth. “Care to explain?” you ask, statement coming out harsher than intended.

That doesn’t faze Jaemin though, and he takes a bite of his chicken rice before continuing. “I mean, they’re so close now, close to the point where they’re having conversations without us? Even at work you guys keep teasing each other and laughing at everything the other says. Kinda sus, is it not?” he explains, glancing around the table. To your shock, a few heads nod, agreeing with the koala keeper. 

“But they used to fight all the time!” Shotaro points out, and you nod and point at him in agreement.

“See? There’s no way we could be a couple ever, with the amount of fighting we did in the past," you say, attempting to justify yourself.

Sungchan rolls his eyes, sighing dramatically and taking a sip of his teh ping. “Come on, guys. It’s all in the past, is it not? Besides, don’t act like you guys don’t go looking for each other first thing after morning team meeting! ‘Renjun! You ready?’ ‘Give me a while, y/n!’ ‘Alright, take your time!’ ” Sungchan does his best to reenact what a conversation between both of you usually went like, using a sickly-sweet tone to mock both of you as uproarious laughter goes up around the table.

“Yeah and besides, hasn’t everyone heard the saying ‘couples fight’? Maybe all your fights in the past were just foreshadowing, you know,” Haechan looks up from his nasi lemak, a shit-eating grin on his face. 

Renjun rolls his eyes at the hippo keeper, adding a long, exasperated sigh. “There’s really nothing, guys. Just ask y/n,” he replies coolly, glancing over at you as you nod emphatically.

“Renjun, you’re blushing,” Jisung pipes up. Though his tone was quiet as usual, it carried a teasing lilt to it. 

“I’m not!” Renjun protests as his hands fly to his cheeks. 

“Dude, it’s okay! You’re not alone. Y/n’s cheeks are pink too,” Mark says, doubled over in laughter. 

Your own hands come up to your cheeks, and to your horror, there’s heat radiating from them. “It’s because the laksa is too spicy!” you fib, making up a lame excuse. 

Chenle’s hand shoots up faster than a rocket. “I call bullshit!” he exclaims, finger pointing at you. “You haven’t taken a sip of iced milo from the moment we arrived here, and plus, it’s well known that you have the best spice tolerance among all the zookeepers!”

You sigh for the umpteenth time again. For once, you wished that you could have dinner alone just so you could enjoy your food in peace. “Really, guys. There’s nothing,” you reply calmly, reiterating your point from earlier. 

“Denial is the first stage of acceptance,” Jaemin reminds you with a smirk, and you respond by punching him hard in the shoulder. “Renjun! Your girlfriend hit me!” He says, fake crying and clutching his shoulder. 

Renjun shakes his head, totally unimpressed by Jaemin’s performance. “Not gonna help you there. Serves you right,” he replies coolly before going back to his roti prata.

Shotaro’s giggles sound from the other end of the table. “Renjun, you didn’t deny the ‘girlfriend’ part. Is this your way of admitting that you and y/n do have something there?” he teases, eyes turning into half-moons.

This time, Renjun throws his hands up with an even louder sigh. “Oh come on!” he yells, exasperation showing through more. 

Just like that, the rest of dinner goes on, with the others teasing you and Renjun while both of you repeatedly denied the “allegations”. Despite your vehement denial of it, your heart fluttered and pounded in your chest like there was no tomorrow, and you somehow didn’t mind the teasing as much as you seemed to. 

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

The long-awaited day finally arrived – the day of the panda cub’s birth! Excitement coursed through your veins as you packed your things as fast as you could – including a sleeping bag, a set of pyjamas, and a towel. Yep, you and Renjun had agreed to stay overnight at the zoo to await the birth of the cub. A spring in your step, you make your way through the green metal gates of the zoo entrance. 

“Y/n! Ready to welcome Jing Jing’s new child?”  Renjun’s voice is the first sound to reach your ears as soon as you enter the staff area. 

“YES!” you squeal, bouncing up and down as you toss your bag into the cupboard. “I can barely wait!”

“Me too!” Renjun exclaims, holding your hands and jumping up and down. You feel your heart pause as he takes your hands in his, only for it to resume pounding several times faster than previously as a wave of heat makes its way up your cheeks. However, you pay no heed to the feeling and continue to giggle with him like excited schoolgirls. “You brought your stuff?” he asks, and you nod in earnest. “Sweet! We’re all set!”

An unimpressed sigh resounds in the staff lounge. “Couple’s going on a date huh,” Haechan says, glancing at you and Renjun.

“Goodness sakes, Haechan, it’s not a date! We’re just here to ensure the well-being of Jing Jing and her baby,” you attempt to reason with the brown-haired boy. It’d been a few weeks since your friends began teasing you, and slowly other zookeepers and even vets had joined in, much to your frustration. 

“It’s alright, Haechan. Let them deny for as long as they want to. They’ll accept it soon, I’m sure,” Sicheng’s voice sounds from the entrance as he reappears, grinning at the both of you. He makes his way to Haechan and whispers something to him, and the latter erupts into giggles as Sicheng quietly sniggers. “Y/n, Renjun, don’t worry! I’ll help the both of you make an announcement during our team meeting next time,” he says teasingly, earning groans from both of you. 

Gosh damn, even your boss had joined in the teasing. 

That aside, the rest of the day progresses smoothly, save for teasing from a few other zookeepers. You went about your usual activities – preparing food for the pandas, playing with them and training them, showing guests around, until the day was about to draw to a close and the vets came to check up on Jing Jing again. 

“Okay! Looks like the baby’s due tonight as expected, hopefully all goes well tonight!” Taeil chirps, wrapping up his examination of Jing Jing. “You’re both staying behind tonight to check up on her, right?” he inquires, packing up his vet kit. 

“Yes, we are! We’ll be around to assist you guys if we can,” Renjun replies, an adorable smile on his face. Wait, did you just call him adorable again- 

“Sweet! See you both around later then, enjoy your date,” Taeil finishes off with a grin, then rushes off. 

“Gosh, how many times have people joked about us dating already?” Renjun groans, rubbing his temple.

“I don’t know – I can’t even count anymore,” you admit, attempting to count in your head. “Whatever. Let’s go back to the staff room and get our stuff. Do you wanna go out with the others for dinner?” you ask, opening the door and leading him out.

You shake your head. “I’m feeling really lazy tonight, let’s order in. Since the vets are staying as well, we can order for them too,” Renjun suggests. 

“Alright then,” you reply, getting out your phone to order. “Can we order from that Singaporean cafe we ate at the last time? It was so good, I swear. I can still taste that sumptuous laksa on my tongue,” you say, dreamily gazing into space and licking your lips as you think about the delicious bowl of noodles.

Renjun watches, laughing at you. “If that’s what the vets want too, sure thing,” he replies. “I thought the food there was really good too”.

You take orders from the vets, and soon the food arrives. Everyone gathers in a circle on the floor to have dinner together, and the bunch of you chat away happily. Surprisingly, there’s no teasing from anyone – just talk about Jing Jing and her panda cub. 

“Hey y/n, how much was my ban mian? I’m the only person that hasn’t paid you back,” Renjun asks, opening the banking app on his phone after dinner to transfer you money.

“It’s alright. My treat,” you say, winking at him as you gently bring his phone down. “You treated me to dinner last time, let me do the same today”.

“But-”

You shush him. “No buts,” you declare, giving him a look that says “this conversation is over”.

A small sigh leaves him. “Thank you so much,” he whispers. 

Just then, Taeyong walks back into the room. “Hey, you guys can chill in here until we call you guys, alright?” he informs. 

“Okay, thank you!” Renjun responds back, and Taeyong makes his exit. 

Since there was quite a lot of time left, you and Renjun decide to bathe, then meet back in the staff lounge. He’s done before you are, so by the time you emerge, towelling your wet hair, he’s already in his sleeping bag, scrolling through his phone. However, he looks up the moment you walk in. “You look pretty in that,” he says, and you realise that he’s complimenting your pink and white pyjamas set. 

“Thank you,” you respond, and you’re sure your cheeks are just as pink as the pyjama blouse you’re donning. “What are you looking at?”  you ask, rolling out your own sleeping bag and settling down next to him. 

Renjun shrugs. “Just photos of our friend group,” he answers. “You can come take a look too”.

He tilts his phone towards you, and continues swiping through photos on his phone. You’re surprised to see that you were in quite a number of the photos. Though two of you had been in the same friend group for all the time you’d been working at the zoo, you thought that Renjun would have zero photos of you as he’d delete them all. Knowing that he didn’t detest you to the point of erasing all of your photos from his photo album warmed your heart a little, as petty as that would sound. 

“Wait, oh my gosh, this one’s hilarious!” Renjun laughs, finger stopping over a particular photo, and you sit up a little straighter to have a better view of the photo. It showed a person in a tiger onesie, curled up on the ground. A net was thrown over the figure, while the vets and several zookeepers – you recognised them to be Sicheng, Kun, Mark, and Jeno – poked and prodded at the figure on the ground with a stick. 

Recognising the photo, you burst into laughter as well. The photo had been taken during the emergency response drill Sicheng had put all the staff through one day without warning, designed to prepare everyone for dangerous animal escapes. The drill consisted of a zookeeper – you remember that it was Yangyang – running around in a tiger costume, pretending to hurt other staff. Meanwhile, the staff on the emergency response team pretended to tranquilise the “tiger” and check that he was completely out before wrapping Yangyang in a net. The rest of you had been tasked with rounding up visitors and evacuating them to either the cafeteria, visitor information centre or one of the activity centres to hide while the emergency response team neutralised the threat. You’d been lucky enough to get a front seat view of the whole thing, having brought the visitors to the visitor information centre, where all of you watched the whole thing from behind the transparent glass doors, agog with curiosity. 

“I remember this! Everyone thought it was so funny. Shotaro was in the visitor information centre with me, and he couldn’t stop giggling!” You recall, remembering the number of times you’d had to shush both him and yourself, since you were trying very hard not to burst into laughter yourself.

“Same. Chenle was in the cafeteria with me, and gosh, he wouldn’t stop laughing,” Renjun recounts, looking at you with an expression of disbelief on his face. “I was so done with him”.

As you both continue looking through the photos, you continue to talk about the various memories behind all of them – some happy, others wholesome, and others plain hilarious and nonsensical. 

“Honestly, how did we end up hating each other so much in the first place?" Renjun suddenly asks, stopping you in your tracks as you turn to look at him with a stunned expression. “No, I’m serious. What drove us so far apart in the first place?”

The question he’d just asked was a loaded one – one that could possibly bring up many sour memories, and ruin the good relationship between both of you if not answered tactfully. You hesitated, not sure if you wanted to talk about it now. 

However, you also knew that if you both didn’t sort out whatever had driven a wedge between both of you in the first place, you’d both never truly be able to be friends. Plus, this was pretty much the only time both of you would be alone together. Bracing yourself for the uncomfortable conversation that was to follow, you suck in a deep breath and answer him. "It was the moat incident, wasn't it? The one that happened the first day I arrived?"

"Oh yeah!" A look of realisation comes onto Renjun’s face at your answer. “That one where we both fell in. Now that I think about it, that was so terribly ridiculous,” he chuckles. 

"Can't believe we ended up hating each other just because of one fall into the moat," you answer, giggling yourself. What Renjun had said was right – it truly was absurd and silly how you’d both allowed one small incident to ruin what could possibly have been many months of a positive, memorable relationship between you both. 

A hush falls over Renjun, and he stops laughing. "Actually…there's more to it,” he whispers, so quiet that you almost don’t hear him. 

"What do you mean?" you ask, genuinely curious now. What else could there be to it?

"It's just…oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing to admit. It's my fault that we hated each other,” Renjun groans, burying his face behind his hands. 

"I'm sorry what?" You ask gently, totally bemused now. “Could you explain further? I really don’t get what you mean”. 

“Alright, here goes,” Renjun groans, removing his palms from his face and taking a huge breath. “When you first joined, I saw you and thought you were really beautiful. Like, not just outside, inside too. I saw how sweet you were with every other zookeeper, being so willing to help all of them although you'd just joined, and it really amazed me. Honest! I began reflecting on myself when I saw how you gladly assisted all of the staff that needed help to the best of your abilities.  Then when you came to help me clean the spider monkey exhibit, I was thinking of how to make conversation with you. I got terribly nervous, and didn't look ahead of me. Then we collided, and I fell in” he explains, recounting the events of that fateful day.  

"Oh yeah, I remember! You pulled me in too,” you reply, patiently waiting for Renjun to continue. 

"Yeah, I panicked! I was already feeling embarrassed after falling into the moat in front of you, and the realisation that I'd pulled you in by accident as well only served to increase it. I should have just recovered, apologised, helped you and then introduced myself properly, but I lashed out. I guess ever since then, we've just been horrible to each other. I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have lashed out at you like that," he concludes sheepishly, scratching his head. 

The memories of that day came rushing back to you again, and you tried to put yourself in his shoes. Imagine tripping in front of your crush and taking a huge splash into a pool of water – yep, definitely mortifying. Your heart began to ache with sympathy for the boy beside you, realising how humiliated he must have felt then. "No, it's alright. That happened so long ago! I'm sorry for pushing you in and snapping at you too,” you reassure, adding in the apology that he deserved too. 

"If only we didn't let something so trivial drive such a wedge in between us. Maybe we wouldn't have had such a sour relationship for so long,” Renjun sighs, staring at the ceiling with a wistful look in his eyes. 

"Yeah…to be honest, I was really nervous to talk to you too. When preparing the koalas’ breakfast, Jaemin and Jisung couldn’t stop talking about you! They kept talking about how you were such a great friend to be around, and how they admired your sense of responsibility, and how funny the jokes you told were – Jaemin even thought we’d get along great!” You felt that Renjun deserved to know your side of the story as well, so you spilled the beans. 

“That didn’t turn out too well, did it?” Renjun replies, chuckling in response. “We literally acted like bears with sore heads around each other after we met. 

“Also…I thought you were striking too. My heart stopped when I walked into the spider monkey enclosure for the first time that day!" you exclaim. “It was quite a shock when you pulled me into the moat, and then proceeded to yell at me. To have such things happen on the first day of work was really embarrassing, and I took my frustration out on you too,” you practically rap out your explanation and look away, feeling your cheeks heat up again. 

Renjun chortles in response to what you said, but the faraway look in his eyes told you that there was something more he had to say. You pause, looking at him, waiting for him to say his piece. A few moments later, he breathes in deeply, and opens his mouth to speak again. "...this is really awkward to admit, but I think even during the time we supposedly hated each other, I'd been harbouring a crush on you. I just thought that too much damage had been done to fix anything, so it would be pointless to try,” he sighs, and you hear the regret in his voice. 

You pause, taking what Renjun had just told you in disbelief. It had definitely taken him lots of bravery to say that to you, and you decided that since he’d been brave, you should be too. You take a while to consider your next words carefully.  “It’s not, Renjun. I do believe part of me has always liked you more than I wanted to admit,” you respond softly, smiling as said boy turns to face you, mouth agape. “It just became way more obvious to me after we began getting along much better, you know?"

A sliver of a smile forms on Renjun’s lips, and it gradually grows, until he’s smiling from ear to ear. "If that's the case, let's go on a date some time…?” he suggests, his tone slightly timid. “I mean, we shouldn’t rush things due to how we used to have so much bad blood between us, but if you want to give things a try, we could”. 

You were now smiling so widely that your cheeks ached, but the euphoria that blossomed in your heart outweighed the mild ache in your cheeks. "Of course!" you exclaim, taking his hands in yours and looking at him, taking in the way his eyes sparkled with jubilance, and the adorable snaggletooth peeking out from between his lips as he smiled. “Gosh, they’re gonna tease us so much when they find out about this,” you chuckle. 

Renjun shrugs, way too elated to think about it. “Who cares. We’ve got each other,” he says, drawing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. 

Just then, Taeil steps into the room. “Hey, Jing Jing’s going into labour,” he announces, excitement spreading over his features. “Come quick!” 

Both you and Renjun let out a collective gasp, then hurriedly hop out of the sleeping bags and put on your shoes. 

»»————----- ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ -----————-««

It takes about two more hours, but soon you’re looking adoringly at a newborn panda cub. The vets get busy monitoring Jing Jing’s vitals, and checking on the cub. 

“So, any name suggestions?” Xiaojun asks, smiling at the both of you. 

Renjun and you look at each other. “What’s the gender of it?” you ask. That was a key piece of information to know before choosing a name for any animal.

“We won’t be able to check until about six weeks later,” Xiaojun informs both of you, laughing at the way your faces fell. “It’s alright! You can think of potential names, and then name the panda when we find out its gender,” he says, consoling both of you. 

As quick as your eyes held this downcast expression, they lit up again. “Renjun! Let’s go think of names for the cub!” you exclaim, tugging on his sleeve. 

Renjun laughs, seeing the thrill on your face. “Maybe a bit later? I want to stay here a bit longer. The cub’s so cute,” he says, unable to take his eyes off the tiny cub. It’s now suckling from its mother, as Jing Jing licks it between the ears. 

You couldn’t deny it – the cub was absolutely adorable, and you wouldn’t mind staying to observe it a little longer. “Sure thing!” you agree, plopping down beside him to observe the mother and child. 

Renjun turns to you, an affectionate smile on his face. “I’m so glad we got to take care of this bunch of animals together. I couldn’t have done it without you,” he whispers. 

Who knew that all it’d take to find true love was to bear with the one you’d once swore was your worst enemy – and a family of black and white bears and some red pandas. You return his loving smile, knowing that what he said was completely true. “Me too,” you whisper, holding on to his hand as you both sit beside each other hand in hand, watching the pandas fondly. 

[nct-fic-recss]

the way life goes — five

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: na jaemin x reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: ever since eunbin came back into the picture, you start to truly realise where you stand and what you want from jaemin... but nothing ever really goes the way it's supposed to go 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 30.9k

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: slow burn, so much plot and too much dialogue, friends with benefits, friends to possible lovers, the majority of kpop 00' liners are in this, other nct members make appearances, crackhead humour throughout, a lot of sex innuendos, college!jaemin, black haired jaemin, jaemin is super mysterious and hot, a lot of angst in this one, heartbreaking moments maybe, bring tissues besties, explicit content, swearing, jaemin gets a handjob, jaemin kinda turns into a sub... kinda, the reader honestly controls the situation, reader rides jaemin in a chair yeehaw, lingering kisses as always, soft sex almost sickening, miwoo points out the obvious, the backstory of the ring is FINALLY here, also jeno tells his true feelings about eunbin, eunbin explains relationship from her side, jeno and reader besties, donghyuck yangyang and reader trio moments, also jeno yangyang donghyuck and reader moments, jeno and reader moments, yangyang comes to a realisation, reader also comes to a realisation, jeno meets eunbin, a lot of mentions of anxiety here and there, perhaps new haired jaemin maybe who knows, alcohol consumption, drunken mishaps... drunk words = sober thoughts?, the girls have a moment, reader meets red haired beauty, a lot of mentions of the trip, overuse of the word pretty

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ‣ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ‣ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 ‣ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑

[the insta posts]

You’re silent the entire trip to the café, head hung low and your hands buried deep into your armpits to keep them warm but the cold air that nips at your face and bare legs distract you, unable to focus on any source of warmth.

Your teeth chatter and you’re so desperate to turn around and go back home but with the constant buzz of your phone in your pocket, you know turning back wasn’t an answer. They are waiting for you at the café, for you and Jaemin.

Anxiety seeps through your veins when you start to think about Jaemin and his long awaited conversation he’s about to have with Eunbin, it makes your stomach churn and your heart race but you try to keep yourself calm as you breathe steadily. There was no reason for you to feel the way that you are, you remind yourself as you near towards your destination. You don’t understand the exact feeling… but you shouldn’t be feeling it.

The bell rings above your head as you push open the door to the cafe, instantly spotting your group of friends sitting around a table near the back. You can’t help but smile when you see them laugh together, watching Donghyuck, who’s already offended at whatever's been said at the table, swat away Jeno’s hand as he tries to reach out and squeeze his cheeks.

A soft call of your name comes from your right and you turn to face the person belonging to the voice, seeing Kun standing behind the counter with Jisung and Chenle at his side. You almost fail to notice that girl standing behind Chenle, staring out into the customers with wide eyes and you nearly awe at the sight until the former snaps his fingers in your direction, ushering you forwards.

“Don’t snap your fingers at our customers” Kun seethes through his teeth, pinching the top of Chenle’s ear as a warning and Jisung smiles in amusement, nudging the new workers shoulder to capture her attention and even she starts to snicker at the sight in front of her.

Chenle rips away from Kun’s grasp, glaring at the trio as he cradles the sore area on his ear. He threatens to hit Jisung for smiling, raising his arm to get ready to strike but Jisung grabs the newest worker and holds her out in front of him, acting as a shield.

Kun looks at them, shaking his head in disappointment before he turns to face you, sending you an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that brat… Do you want your usual?”

“It’s okay, I’m fine” You shake your head, jabbing your thumb in the direction of your friends. “I’m gonna go…”

Kun nods in understanding, waving you away and you bid him a quick goodbye as you turn on your heel, making your way over to the group who fail to recognize your arrival until you stand behind Shotaro, capturing the attention of Renjun and Haru.

“Nice of you to finally show up” Renjun gives you a sarcastic smile and you flip him off with a smile of your own. Shotaro leans his head back, bumping into your stomach and the way he grins up at you makes your heart warm. You coo softly, raking your fingers through his hair and scratching at his scalp as if he was a cute little puppy.

Donghyuck reaches out to grab your wrist and tug you towards the empty seat between Yangyang and himself, forcing you to sit down and he gasps in shock as his knuckles accidentally brush against your cold legs.

“Why the fuck didn’t you wear anything warmer?!” Donghyuck scolds you angrily just as Yangyang slips off his coat and wraps it around your frame. You open your mouth to protest but you sigh in defeat as he fastens a few of the buttons while Donghyuck takes this opportunity to drape his own coat over your bare legs, rubbing for extra warmth and continues to scold you with interesting profanities.

You don't bother explaining to them why you had took so long to come nor did you explain to them why you showed up alone, allowing them to continue talking about whatever they were talking about before you arrived, watching as Miwoo dramatically throws her hands in the air as Renjun nonchalantly insults her way as he tries, and succeeds, in riling her up.

Jeno doesn’t say much, to your surprise, as he watches the two bicker, quietly drinking his iced coffee. He wears a tight fitted beanie on his head which makes his eyebrows and his eyes seem a lot more intimidating when he stares or is focussed on something, it makes your heart thump when he glances over to the table to meet your gaze.

He sends you a tight lipped smile which you give back, a small silent greeting between the two of you, before he turns his attention back to the phone in his hand, using his thumb to swipe across the screen.

“Why are you so quiet?” A voice lowly asks from beside you and you turn your head to meet Yangyang’s concerned expression. You shrug your shoulders, uncertain on how to give him an answer and the frown on his face deepens.

“Are you sick?” Donghyuck asks this time in a sincere tone which he rarely lets out, removing his hand from it’s position on your legs to press against your forehead. He hums. “Your temperature is fine”

“I’m just tired” You tell them.

Donghyuck mocks offense as he points at himself. “From me?” He then points at Yangyang. “From us?”

You roll your eyes, not being able to stop the smile that threatens to spread across your lips. “Shut up”

“We can take you home, if you want?” Yangyang offers and Donghyuck nods beside you. “We haven’t got anything planned for the rest of the day anyways, so we can leave”

“I’m good” You shake your head, reassuring them that you’re fine despite the hesitancy in your voice. Yangyang eyes you for a few seconds before believing your words, nodding his head while reaching for his drink. Donghyuck doesn’t budge, staring straight at you without even blinking and you take this opportunity to stare back, having an inner staring content which Donghyuck catches onto immediately as the corner of lips lift upwards into a smirk.

You shout in surprise when Donghyuck cheats by clapping his hands in your face and you ball your own hands into tight fists, jabbing them at his chest and arms that he tries to dodge, defending himself by karate chopping your own body with ‘whooshing’ sounds.

“If either of you knock over any coffee, I will start attacking” Chenle warns as he appears beside the table with a tray of breakfast specials in hand, eyeing the half full coffee cups that are scattered across the table. “I’m on cleanup duty today and if I see one drop of coffee on the floor, I swear to god I will—”

Miwoo scoffs. “Okay, we get it you little brat”

“Do you want to die?” Chenle mouths scarily just as Kun arrives over to the table, taking it upon himself to grab the plates from the tray Chenle holds, placing them down on the table. Your group gives Kun an odd look to why he was setting all types of pastries and cakes on the table. He tells you all that they’re his newest recipes and he’s handing them out for your group to test try, completely free of charges which makes them all grin widely but Yangyang points at Kun, seemingly not convinced.

“Are you trying to poison us?”

Kun gives him a blank look. “If I wanted to poison you, I would’ve done it with your drinks already”

Yangyang purses his lips together in deep thought. “Hm, touche”

Kun rolls his eyes and takes a hold of Chenle’s upper arm to tug him away from your table. Chenle withstands for a moment before giving in, allowing Kun to drag him away but he keeps his glare on Miwoo who throws her middle finger up in his direction, an evil smirk spreading across her face as Chenle seethes through his teeth before he’s pulled into the backroom.

“Kun treats us so well” Haru says as she picks up a chocolate coated croissant and bites into it, eyes widening and letting out a gasp as she chews. She holds out the treat towards Renjun who takes a bite without question, seemingly impressed as he nods his head, licking the chocolate off of the corner of his lips.

Your mouth salivates as Haru turns the croissant towards the rest of you to show what’s inside, chocolate and what looks like banana slices oozing from where it has been bitten open.

Donghyuck groans. “I think I just came in my pants''

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

“So…” Miwoo begins after a short moment of silence, the group too preoccupied with eating their breakfasts or drinking their coffees to even start another conversation. Everyone’s heads turn to Miwoo who dips one of her cinnamon breadsticks in a little bowl of syrup, chewing the treat slowly as her eyes roam across the room until they focus on you. “Is nobody going to question the obvious or are you all going to make me do it?”

“What are you talking about?” Donghyuck questions with a full mouth and Yangyang leans over your body to whack the back of his head for his lack of manners, making Donghyuck almost choke on his toast as he coughs uncontrollably. You pat Donghyuck’s back, hoping to help him in some way as you try and stifle your laugh, almost losing as Donghyuck turns to thank you with strained eyes.

“Oh, come on… you can’t be that dense” Miwoo chuckles, attention flickering to Donghyuck for a second before going back to you. “Where’s Jaemin?”

Your throat immediately dries up, mouth clamped shut and unable to answer her simple question. The way the group has their attention on you causes you to panic, legs beginning to nervously bounce under the table and fists curl tightly, nails digging into palm.

Haru’s the first to notice, calling your name softly as she reaches across the table to touch your hand, concern filling her eyes as she tries to slip her fingers between your clenched fists, hoping to discreetly pull your nails away from your skin.

She calls your name again, squeezing your hand gently to help coax you out of your panic state. You blink, trying to out blur your eyes and ignore the faint buzzing noise in your ears as you turn towards Haru, allowing her to slip her fingers between yours.

“You good?” Renjun speaks up first, concern evident in his tone. “We lost you there for a second”

“I’m fine” You lie through your teeth and you know they don’t believe you so you clear your throat, grabbing Yangyang’s coffee to take a sip. He doesn’t stop you, like he’d usually would, whining about how you should’ve bought your own. Instead, he just stares. He watches.

Jeno’s even looking at you now and with all their eyes on you, you feel like you’re going to throw up. You swallow thickly, opening your mouth to speak but Haru beats you to it, easily grabbing everyone’s attention off of you as she whips out her phone to announce new music from an artist that you all liked.

The gasps and the excitement was enough to allow the heavy weight to lift off of your chest and you smile gratefully at Haru who sends a wink your way. She’s always got your back, she’s always the one to help you out of a sticky situation and you couldn’t be more thankful than you already are.

You quietly excuse yourself from the table, pushing Donghyuck’s coat off of your legs and into his lap as you stand up, beginning to unbutton Yangyang’s coat but with the look he gives you, you decide against it, giving him your best smile before disappearing to the bathroom.

Once you’re alone, you make a straight beeline for the sink, twisting the tap and sticking your wrists under the cold running water. Your thumb massages the cold water into your skin and you slowly feel your body relax, the anxiety peeling away from your bones and leaving you at peace.

You raise your head to stare at your reflection in the mirror and tired eyes stare back. Your lips twist into a grimace, you look horrible, but you can’t seem to find the urge to care about your appearance, not when there’s so much shit going on inside your head.

Turning off the tap and drying your hands, you slip your hand under Yangyang’s coat to fish your phone out of your hoodie, unlocking the device and tapping the message icon to bring up yours and Jaemin’s last conversation, eyes scanning over the last text that he sent, how urgent he was for you. Your thumbs begin to move against the keyboard.

you: what are u talki . . . ERASED you: is eunbin still . . . ERASED you: are u . . . ERASED

What the fuck are you even supposed to say? You sigh in frustration, rubbing at your forehead as you stare down at the blank message. You don’t want to interrupt him from the conversation and you most definitely don’t want to seem like a stalker by constantly messaging him, but you’re worried… for him? For Eunbin? Or was it for you?

you: i hope ur okay

You click send, watching the delivered sign appear at the bottom before shoving the device away, not wanting to wait and see if he’s read the message. Taking a deep breath, you hold your head high as you walk out of the bathroom, heading back over to your table and sitting down just in time to hear Renjun and Miwoo bicker back and forth over something that has the others laughing.

Haru smiles at you the second you sit down and Donghyuck loosely throws his arm around your shoulders, his other leaning on the table as he takes pictures of the pair fighting, trying his best to get their worse angles and closeups that almost have you snorting.

Yangyang makes a small, harmless comment to add fuel to Renjun and Miwoo’s fire, he splutters in shock as the two turn on him, throwing creative insults and curse words his way and Donghyuck joins in to defend his friend, his arm dropping from your shoulders and putting his phone down on the table to alternate between pointing at them and throwing up his middle finger.

“You’re quieter than usual” Jeno says to you and you almost have trouble hearing him if it wasn’t for him leaning around Donghyuck’s chair to speak to you. He gives you a smile. “I know you said you’re fine earlier, but… you good?”

“It’s been a long morning” You tell him, wrapping your arms around your middle with a soft chuckle. “I’m just ready for this day to be over already”

“Yeah?” Jeno raises a brow, leaning his chin on the back of his chair as he stares at you. “What happened?”

You pause for a moment, teeth chewing at the side of your cheek as you contemplate on whether to tell Jeno the truth. He deserves to know the truth… that’s his best friend.

You suck in a breath. “It’s Eunbin… She’s back”

The silence is deafening and you flinch at the way everyone’s heads abruptly snap in your direction, eyes wide as your words slowly sink in. Renjun struggles to form a sentence, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly and Shotaro remains frozen with a fork hanging out of his mouth while Yangyang and Donghyuck share unreadable looks with each other.

Jeno’s reaction scares you the most and the way Miwoo worryingly glances over at him fails to settle your nerves. He’s silent, eyes staring straight into yours, dark and heavy. Miwoo softly calls out his name and despite them being on not good terms, she reaches to place her hand on top of his in hopes to calm him down.

“When did she get back?” Haru asks first, taking a brief glance at the boys. “Wasn’t she in New York?”

“She said she flew in early this morning”

“You’ve talked to her?” Donghyuck gapes, eyes almost bulging out of his head as he stares at you in shock. You slowly nod your head to confirm and Donghyuck abruptly turns in his seat to face Jeno who’s looking at Miwoo now. She’s speaking to him quietly, words just for him as she pats his hand, trying her best to calm him down which seems to be working as he listens intently, jaw still stiff but eyes gentle.

“How did you talk to her?” Shotaro asks this time with a frown. “How did that even happen?”

“I went to go see Jaemin this morning…” You trail off, nerves beginning to kick in as your teeth gnaw at your bottom lip. “Eunbin’s there”

Yangyang almost chokes on his own saliva. “She’s there?”

You nod your head. “Yeah… She wanted to see Jaemin as soon as she flew in”

“Did Jaemin let her in?” Jeno finally speaks, tone low and scary. You almost gulp at the way he’s now looking at you and you forget to speak, cowering back into your chair with goosebumps rising at the back of your neck. Jeno tongues his cheek, jaw tense and brows furrowing as he stares straight at you, already piecing together what you are going to say.

He knows the answer. He hates that he knows the answer. Jeno shakes his head, reaching for his coffee and taking a lengthy sip through his straw, fingers wrapping around the plastic cup so tightly you’re afraid it will spill.

Donghyuck, Yangyang, Shotaro and Renjun all share a look with each other that doesn’t go unnoticed by you or the girls. You want to say something, anything, but you can’t find the right words and the sentences and the questions that float around in your head refuse to make sense… you also didn't want to make the situation worse knowing that if you say something wrong, Jeno could blow.

“So that’s why you came here alone” Miwoo states, shaking her head with a laugh of disbelief. “He’s a fucking idiot”

“Miwoo” You warn her, shaking your head softly and giving her a pleading smile.

“What? I’m telling the truth” Miwoo shrugs innocently, leaning back into her seat. “He’s a fucking idiot for not being here with us right now. I know you’re all thinking it, I’m just brave enough to actually say it”

Miwoo shoves her spoon into her yoghurt and eats happily, oblivious to the way everyone is looking at her. You can see Jeno wants to retaliate to her words, his jaw tense and eyes rolling in annoyance.

“I mean, I hate to admit it but she’s not wrong” Donghyuck admits, leaning his arms on the table comfortably. Miwoo clicks her tongue and points at Donghyuck, grinning at the fact he’s agreeing with her and Donghyuck flips her off before continuing. “He is an idiot for not being here… but I don’t exactly blame him, you know, the hold that Eunbin has on him is—“

“Dude” Yangyang cuts him off, shaking his head as if to tell him to shut up and Donghyuck does with a sigh, muttering under his breath how he was just trying to explain how unbelievable Eunbin is.

A part of you wanted to hear what Donghyuck had to say, wanting to know how Eunbin was to Jaemin and the type of hold Donghyuck had claimed she had on him but the other part of you is happy that you didn’t have to hear anything, knowing that the weird feeling in your chest will grow heavier, becoming uncomfortable and unbearable.

Yangyang knocks his shoulders against yours and you lift your head to meet his eyes. He smiles at you, a soft smile, a comforting one that you can’t help but let yourself smile back at. Yangyang leans his head down closer to yours, his voice low as he whispers to you, asking if you would like to go home and you nod without even thinking much about it. You didn’t want to be here anymore.

The two of you stand up from your seats together, Yangyang opening his mouth to let them know that you two are going to leave until the bell above the cafe door dings as it's pushed open, revealing Jaemin. He’s alone, sporting his favourite black hoodie with a white cat and some sweats with a cap on top of his head.

The way the group stops talking and turns their heads towards him makes your cheeks feel hot. It’s obvious you were all talking about him and you know that Jaemin knows just by how he’s looking at you all, brows furrowing and his jaw tense.

Once Jaemin’s eyes land on you, he gives you the kindest smile. He looks okay. He seems okay. Maybe the talk he had with Eunbin made everything better… But was that even a good thing or a bad thing?

Yangyang presses his hand on your lower back, a sign for you to move so you both can leave and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaemin who immediately looks at Yangyang with a deadpan expression. Yangyang doesn’t falter, staring right back at Jaemin, almost giving him the same look back.

“Nice of you to finally show up” Yangyang speaks up first and you sigh, closing your eyes in annoyance, not liking the tone Yangyang decides to use.

Jaemin doesn’t even bother to reply, instead he pulls his hand out of his pockets and holds it out for you to take. You stare at his hand, your own twitching at your side, desperate to intertwine your fingers with his own.

“Let’s go” He says to you with another one of his soft smiles.

“But you just got here…” Shotaro states, looking at Jaemin with a slight pout. He gestures towards the empty seat that everyone had left for him if he had decided to show up. “Come eat with us”

“I’m not hungry” Jaemin tells him apologetically, turning his attention back on you. His hand is still outstretched, waiting for you to take but for some reason, you’re hesitant. Why are you so hesitant? Your body earns for his touch yet the inner voice inside of your head prevents you from doing so, not only making you frustrated but annoyed.

“Are you avoiding us because you don’t want to talk about who showed up at your front door this morning?” Miwoo teases with a sly grin, resting her chin on her hand. Your tongue pokes at your cheek in annoyance as you glance over your shoulder at her, shaking your head as she gives you an innocent smile. “Come on, big boy… we wanna hear all about it”

Jaemin lets out a halfhearted chuckle, clearly unamused with Miwoo’s words as he clicks his tongue against his teeth. Haru nudges Miwoo’s foot with her own and gives her a look that immediately makes Miwoo shut down, a pout present on her face as she drinks her coffee while grumbling how she was genuinely curious.

“Can we go to your place?” Jaemin asks you quietly as your attention turns back on him, eyes almost pleading for you to take his hand and leave with him. “I want to talk to you”

You nod your head slowly, reaching out to touch his hand and his fingers clasp around yours just as you make contact, immediately tugging you into his side. He gives your hand a squeeze, letting out a shaky breath as he presses his lips to yours for a quick peck before he guides you out of the cafe, not even saying goodbye to the others who watch with mixed reactions.

Yangyang’s arm drops to his side in defeat, breathing out a huff as he sits back down into his seat and Donghyuck pats his back, giving him a tight lipped smile which Yangyang forced himself to give back, a twinge of sadness in his eyes.

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

“So, how did it go?” The question you’re dreading to ask slipped out before you could even process it, chewing on your bottom lip as you sit down on your bed, scooting backwards to rest against the wall and you go to bring your knees up to your chest until Jaemin pushes your legs down, crawling on the bed and plopping his head down in your lap.

You pull the cap off of his head so he wouldn’t have to lay at an awkward angle and place it down to your side, allowing him to be more comfortable and he sighs softly, relaxing into your touch the second he feels your fingers play with his hair.

He’s quiet for a few minutes, the silence deafening and it makes you uncomfortable, biting back the urge to question him again because you didn’t want to seem desperate… you didn’t want to seem too—

“It went really good”

Really good. His words repeat in your mind and your face turns sour without you even realising, tongue prodding at your cheek in annoyance as you stare at the wall opposite you. Jaemin grins up at you in amusement, raising his hand to flick your forehead and you hiss, rubbing your hand over the sore area as you glare down at Jaemin but all he does is chuckle.

“I told her how I felt about her leaving” He starts off and you listen intently, dropping your hand down to his stomach where his own hands lay, letting him fiddle with your cold fingers. “I was honest with my feelings, made her understand how even though I was happy she wanted to follow her dreams and actually got what she wanted, she hurt me in the process. Eunbin got upset and apologised a bunch of times… she admitted to being selfish, which was weird to hear, I didn’t expect her to say that and I didn’t really know how to react”

You frown softly. “Why?”

“I don’t know” He mumbles with a shrug of his shoulders. “I guess I never really expected the conversation to go so smoothly, you know? But I’m happy I did it… I got my closure, and I think we’re fine now”

And you’re left unsatisfied. You purse your lips together, not liking the weird feeling lingering in the back of your mind. Something was bugging you about his answer and you struggle to pinpoint what it was. He said so much… yet he said so fucking little. You itched to ask more questions, to demand more answers but it wasn’t your place. It will never be your place.

Jaemin’s quick to notice how quiet you’ve become, pushing himself up on his elbows to kiss your lips softly but he pulls back before you can enjoy it so you follow his lips for more. The sound of his deep chuckle makes you pause and you blink a few times before moving away, fighting back a shy smile.

Jaemin tilts his head to the side as he stares at you with a grin, pecking your mouth once more before his hands grip your body, quickly manoeuvring you both into a lying position. His arm slips under your head and wraps around your shoulder as he pulls you into his chest, his fingers smoothing your hair as your own come to rest at his hip, massaging the skin mindlessly.

“Jaem…” You call out his name softly and he hums, letting you know he heard you. “What’s going to happen between you and Eunbin now?” He makes a noise of confusion and you start to cringe at yourself for making this situation a little awkward. “Are you and Eunbin, like, friends now?”

“I don’t really care” Jaemin admits, shrugging his shoulders carelessly as he twirls your hair around his fingers.

You crane your head to look up at him, surprised. “You don’t?”

“No” He answers easily, looking up at your ceiling. “If Eunbin wants to start fresh and be friends, I guess I’d be okay with that… But I’m not going to be making the first move”

“Would you want to be friends with her?”

Jaemin looks at you now, his nose brushing against yours. The corner of his lips twitch upwards, fingers still twirling strands of your hair but he stops to cup your jaw, his thumb delicately rubbing small circles on your cheek. “What’s with all the questions?”

“I’m just trying to figure you out” You’re honest with him this time and Jaemin’s brows quirk in surprise. “You don’t say much in general but when you do, it’s hard to understand where you’re at mentally”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything to that. Instead, he just smiles and goes back to playing with your hair. You hiss in pain when it gets stuck around his rings and he utters small amounts of apologies while laughing as he untangles your hair from around his jewellery, cooing and patting your head to calm you down but you curse loudly, hitting your fist against his chest for payback even though it was a complete accident that your hair got caught.

The two of you relax in silence for a couple of minutes, Jaemin’s fingers resuming in playing with your hair which would’ve pushed away if it wasn’t for the fact it was making you tired, the warmth of his embrace adding to the effect but you force yourself to stay awake, staring at Jaemin who’s eyes flutter shut, his breathing steady.

“Jaemin” You call out his name softly, pushing his messy bangs out of his face and he hums. “Did you… Did you mean what you said earlier?”

His one eye opens to stare at you and he feels hot under your touch, focussing on the way your hand pushes back his hair while his own pauses in yours. He remembers what he had told you earlier before he was left alone with Eunbin, he remembers it well, loud and clear.

Both of his eyes peel open as Jaemin blinks at you and you immediately what the bed to swallow you whole at his lack of words, wanting to disappear and have him forget you asking such a stupid question and you nearly escape from his embrace until you see him slowly begin to nod.

“Yeah” He says, gaze unmoving from yours. “Yeah, I meant it”

Your face warms and you struggle to speak, unable to form a proper sentence. “Cool”

You immediately cringe at your response, almost slapping yourself for being and sounding so awkward but Jaemin seems to find your answer amusing as a smile slips across his lips. With the arm that’s wrapped around you, he tugs you closer to kiss you. He kisses you so softly, his hand stilling in your hair as the other comes up to cup your cheeks.

You melt into his touch, reciprocating the kiss with the same amount of softness he’s giving you. The sounds of smooching fills the room, tongues mingling together with light feathery touches. Your heart hammers rapidly against your chest and you can’t help but wonder if Jaemin could feel it but you’re left unanswered yet again as his hand travels down from your cheek to grip your hip, pulling you on top of him.

You break the kiss to catch your breath, pressing your palms against Jaemin’s chest to sit up on his lap. His hands disappear beneath the sweatshirt you’re wearing, fingers gripping the flesh of your waist and kneading the skin, pressing his thumbs to your stomach.

“I miss feeling me here” He mutters under his breath, capturing his bottom lip between his teeth as he looks up at you, looking so pretty above him. He softly calls out to you. “Baby…”

His hands roam around your body, tickling your back with the pad of his fingers and you arch slightly as you feel his nails scratch at the bare skin, a teasing smile spreading across his face as he realises you’re not wearing a bra beneath the sweatshirt.

Jaemin sits up to pull the material over your head, carelessly discarding it to the floor which you usually would’ve gotten annoyed at if you weren’t already distracted by the way he’s looking at you. He smothers your face in gentle kisses while his hands caress your body. You sigh softly, closing your eyes as you bask in the feeling of his lips, goosebumps rising to your skin in his path. He nips at your jaw, neck, shoulders, making his way down to your chest and you shiver the second you feel his tongue press against your hardened bud.

“Jaemin” You gasp out his name as he mouths at your breast, sucking and nipping at the skin. You rake your fingers through his hair, gripping the roots as you tug his head back and his mouth drops open in surprise, breathing heavily. You try to steady your erratic heart while you stare at him. “You make me feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes”

He quirks a brow. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

You suck in a breath as you feel his hands run down your body, fingers tugging at the strings of your shorts. Your bottom lip gets sucked between your teeth when you feel his hand dip inside your shorts and you let go of his hair to grip his shoulders as his fingers press against the damp patch of your underwear.

You gasp as you feel him push your panties to the side, his fingers prodding at your slick entrance. “Fuck I don’t know”

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

You and Jaemin spent the entire day in your room, rotating between watching movies and messy makeout sessions that left you both flustered and unsatisfied. Sex was absolutely thrown out of the window the second the entire group walked through the front door, talking loudly and laughing about whatever joke someone had said, completely ruining the mood for you and Jaemin, despite the first few times Jaemin tried to coax you into riding his dick but with Donghyuck and Yangyang on the other side of the wall, you knew you would both get caught and would never hear the end of it.

You really did not want to get teased by the two.

Jaemin stayed over for the night but left early in the morning, waking you up with a soft shake to tell you that he had to leave and explaining that jeno had been blowing up his phone, demanding to talk to him before classes today. He had kissed your forehead, bidding you a silent goodbye before disappearing and allowing you to go back to sleep, but that only lasted for an hour until you were up on your feet, getting your belongings ready for your classes later.

“Good morning” You’re instantly greeted when you step into the bathroom, seeing Haru standing in front of the mirror in just her underwear and a towel wrapped around her hair, pumping her bottle of moisturiser in her hands.

You give her a sleepy smile, sluggishly making your way over to the glass shower door that was already steamed from previous use, reaching around to turn the valve for the water. You yawn as you turn back to face Haru, almost stumbling over your feet while scratching the back of your head.

Haru snickers at your sleepy state and you flip her off while stretching out your limbs, letting out a groan. She eyes the shirt you’re wearing, a celine tie-dyed shirt that clearly didn’t belong to you.

“Did Jaemin spend the entire night?” Haru asks and you hum in response, leaning against the glass shower door as you watch her apply the moisturiser to her face, rubbing it into her skin. She glances at you briefly before looking back at her reflection in the mirror. “Did he say anything to you about Eunbin?”

“Yeah” You nod your head, dipping your hand under the showerhead to test the pressure and the warmth. “Kind of”

“Kind of?” Haru repeats, unwrapping her hair from the towel and picking up a serum bottle, applying small drops to her hair. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He talked about her but—yawn—it wasn’t much. He didn’t go into full detail like I expected him to…” You pause to frown, looking down at your toes. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected him to anyways, it’s not my place”

Haru watches as you strip, kicking your clothes into a pile on the side before you jump into the shower, standing beneath the hot stream of water. Her tongue pokes at her cheek in thought, raking her fingers through her hair and sectioning it neatly.

She pops the question. “What were you expecting him to say?”

“I don’t know, honestly” You say with a shrug, soaping up your body with one of your favourite body washes, the scent of vanilla filling your nose. “But he told me he got his closure that he’s been wanting… that’s all that matters, I guess”

“What’s all that matters?” Miwoo’s voice fills the bathroom as she enters, quickly rushing to the toilet to pee. Haru mutters a quiet good morning which Miwoo responds back with the same greeting, grabbing a wad of toilet paper as she relieves herself. She covers her mouth to yawn. “What are we talking about?”

“Jaemin”

Miwoo scoffs. “Traitor”

You sigh at her tone, applying shampoo to your hair in silence as you listen to Miwoo complain about Jaemin’s absence at breakfast yesterday. She walks over to Haru after she finishes peeing, grabbing her toothbrush and squirting a decent amount of toothpaste all while sharing a look while Haru shrugs her shoulders, braiding two small braids at the front of her hair.

“What was meeting Eunbin like?” Miwoo asks you with a mouthful of toothpaste, almost choking until Haru slaps her hand on her back repeatedly.

“It was fine” You’re honest, you hated it. “She’s actually pretty sweet… I thought it would be different, like, someone completely different”

Miwoo hums, leaning over the sink to spit out the toothpaste before shoving her toothbrush back inside her mouth. “I don’t trust it”

“You don’t?” Haru queries and Miwoo shakes her head quickly. Haru furrows her brows, tilting her head to the side. “Why?”

“It’s strange” Miwoo resumes talking while brushing her teeth, looking at you through the reflection of the mirror as you peek your head around the glass door. “No matter what happened at the end of a relationship, no girl is ‘sweet’ or ‘kind’ to their ex's current girlfriend”

You pull a face. “But I’m not his girlfriend”

“And that’s even worse” Miwoo states, finishing up brushing her teeth and turning on the balls of her feet to face you. “You’re someone he fucks, you’re someone that gives him pleasure… god, she’s probably shaking with anger inside, that’s so funny”

Your eyes narrow at her words, slamming the glass door shut with a mutter. “You have a interesting way of explaining things”

“I just say it how I see it” She shrugs her shoulders, a frown slowly etching its way onto her lips and she places her hand on his hip. “I sense that tone in your voice… Why do you sound irritated?”

You couldn’t answer her, mainly because you didn’t know the answer yourself. You’re not sure why you sound irritated… Does there have to be a reason? Your shoulders slump in defeat. Of course there has to be a reason, so why couldn’t you figure it out?

The lack of answer makes Miwoo impatient and she pads over to the shower, sliding open the door. You yell out profanities and threats from the sudden scare, throwing water in her direction angrily and she snickers, stripping out of her clothes to jump inside the shower with you, making up excuses about how you all need to save water and money when you try and force her out.

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

You chew on the nail of your thumb in deep thought, scanning over the words written on your document page and sigh, pressing your finger down repeatedly on the backspace button as you type again, changing over your words and moving around the paragraphs that were in the wrong place.

You struggle, deeply, to write a piece for Professor Moon who had previously told his students to write about their most recent or at least favourite place you visited, adding how it needs details and realness… problem was you haven’t been anywhere outside of your hometown in months.

You’re going to fail.

If this wasn’t Donghyuck’s laptop, you’re positive you would’ve slammed the lid down and thrown it out of the library’s window without a care in the world by now, but you know how much he loves this laptop… and how bad he would kill you.

You lean back into your seat with a sigh, leg bouncing beneath the table and you rub your palms on your jeans, glancing around the half empty library, spotting a few familiar faces but the rest were unknown. Your eyes instinctively go to your bag that rests on the chair beside you, teeth sucking your bottom lip in between your teeth as you reach for it, dipping your hand inside and reaching for what you need at the bottom of the bag.

Nakamoto Yuta, NaYuTravels, +82-1-***-***. Professor Moon’s writing stares you back in the face. You purse your lips in deep thought, glancing back and forth between your messy document and the slip.

Ideas start to form in your head and before you can even register what you’re doing, your finger glides across the touchpad on the laptop, opening up a browser and typing in the website name, clicking the link that first pops up.

Your eyes widen as you’re instantly met with the most beautifully aesthetic page you have ever seen. It was minimal, so clean, so simple and organised even with its pictures and writings. Your hand presses to your mouth in surprise, your heart seems to swell at every incredible piece of writing you read and the photos that were attached to them made you feel—

Bzzt. Your phone vibrates loudly on the table and you’re instantly snapped out of your thoughts, reaching for the device quickly and shutting it off. The librarian peeps her head around her computer, narrowing her eyes at you and you send her a sheepish smile back, bowing your head apologetically and she resumes back to what she was doing while you cringe in embarrassment, unlocking your phone to see who had called you. Donghyuck. Of. Fucking. Course.

donghyuck: why did u decline my call bitchass bitch

you: i’m in the library u idiot

donghyuck: lol sorry donghyuck: anyway are u still using my laptop??? i need it back to take some notes for class

You glance up at the screen, biting down on your cheek as your eyes scan over the page, a tight pulling at your chest.

you: yeah u can have it back. meet u outside the music dept in two??

donghyuck: ty, ly

You exit out of the website and shut down the laptop with a sigh, closing the lid and gathering your belongings in your arm as you leave the library, not even sparing the librarian a glance out of pure embarrassment. The hallways aren’t as crowded as they usually are, some lingered around with earphones plugged into their ears and others stood in small groups, mingling with their friends.

A familiar face appears around the corner and you recognise it’s Jeno, wearing his royal blue engineering overalls alongside another student who you’ve seen here and there whenever Jeno’s busy in class, his name tag reading Kim J.

Jeno waves when he sees you and you wave back before he disappears with his classmate, leaving you alone once more until you hear your name being called. You glance over your shoulder, slowly coming to a stop as you realise it’s Professor Moon calling out your name from his class and he ushers you on over.

“Professor Moon” You greet him quickly with a bow as you walk over. “I still haven’t finished the task you asked us to do, but I—”

“It’s fine” He dismisses it with a shake of his hand, adjusting his circular glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I actually called you over for a different reason. Please, come in and have a seat, it’s important”

“Oh” You blink, pointing to the laptop. “I need to give this to my friend before… I…” You trail off, eyes widening in surprise as you finally notice the red haired man behind him, sitting down on top of a desk with an ipad in hand, flicking across the screen. You’re speechless by the beauty of his man: his red hair resting just above his shoulders, ears decorated in the prettiest jewellery and a small chain hanging from his neck.

He’s adorned in a black and white striped button up shirt that's tucked loosely into the belt of his jeans and some converse. It was such a simple outfit that even most students on campus wear but on him, it looked expensive.

It’s Nakamoto Yuta. The voice screams inside your head. You’re unable to tear your eyes away from him. It’s fucking Nakamoto Yuta.

You almost drop your belongings in your hand as you immediately greet him and he looks up from his ipad to chuckle, placing it down on the desk beside him as he greets you back. Professor Moon clasps his hands together, a bright smile on his face.

“This is Nakamoto Yuta, the close friend of mine that organises those trips we discussed and this is the student that I was telling you about, the one that wanted to become a travel writer” Professor Moon introduces you both. He turns to face you, looking proud. “I was just showing him your works”

The red head looks impressed. “You’re really talented”

“Thanks Mr N—”

“You can call me Yuta” He stops you, a look of disgust spreading across his face. “Calling me Mr Nakamoto makes me feel old”

“Thanks” Professor Moon mutters beneath his breath. Yuta grins at that, playfully nudging Professor Moon as he walks by to get to his desk. You can see how close they both are, sending boyish grins to each other and it almost makes you smile seeing Professor Moon so relaxed and chilled, knowing that your class, especially Miwoo, doesn’t give him a break.

Yuta clears his throat and turns to face you. “I heard you were thinking about applying to the writer's trip that's coming up… but I haven’t seen your name on the list yet?”

“I haven’t signed up for it yet… I only just looked at your website this morning” You tell him, holding your stuff close to your chest as you awkwardly look down at your doc martens, feeling slightly embarrassed to be talking about this. “I’ve been busy with things, so… I haven’t really had the time to think about it. I don’t even know if I want to sign up to this trip yet”

Professor Moon eyes you from the side. “I thought you said you wanted to become a travel writer to follow in your mothers footsteps?”

You nod eagerly. “I do! I just…” But that’s when your nodding comes to a stop. You’re stuck again, unsure of the feeling that settles in your chest, unsure of what’s holding you back from agreeing to sign up for this trip that, admittingly, you desperately want to go on.

Miwoo and Haru seemed to support you going after they found out, and the boys didn’t seem opposed to you going, but then again you weren't able to hear their opinions when the subject was changed so quickly. You still haven’t brought it up to Jaemin yet, struggling to find the right moment which never seems to come… maybe that is what's holding you back?

“The trip doesn’t start until next month, so you only have a few weeks to figure out what you want to do” Yuta tells you, crossing his arms over his chest. “Personally, from what I’ve read, I think you should go. Not only do you have talent, but you even said it yourself, it’s something that you want to do… it's as simple as that”

“It’s not that simple” You mutter under your breath with a frown and Yuta chuckles, clearly hearing what you said. Your lips press together in embarrassment, mentally kicking yourself but the way Yuta smiles, you calm yourself down knowing he’s not offended.

“Okay, sure. It’s not that simple” Yuta nods, copying your words. “But nothing should be stopping you from doing what you want to do, especially if this is your dream” You don’t know why, but his words struck something inside you, an unsettling feeling swirling around in the pit of your stomach. Yuta clears his throat, giving you one of his award winning smiles as he tucks his hair behind his ears. “Anyways, I’m sure Taeil gave you my number on that slip, so don’t be afraid to contact me if you need some advice or need to talk about the trip. You can find my email on the website too… I would love to hear from you and I hope I can change your mind”

“I will” You nod, taking this as a sign to leave which you shortly do, bidding the two a quiet goodbye before stepping out of the classroom. You let out a deep breath, holding your belongings in one hand as the other rubs at the back of your neck, closing your eyes in relief.

You’re happy to be out of the classroom, no longer being watched by the two, your skin crawling with nerves beneath their stares. Despite feeling a little awkward and uncomfortable, you would be lying to yourself if you said you weren't excited that you met Yuta. It definitely put you in somewhat of a good mood and you can’t help the smile that etches onto your lips.

“What the hell?! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting?!” Donghyuck exclaims as you finally meet him in front of the music department, his arms thrown up in the air in disbelief before he taps the non-existent watch on his wrist. “I’ve been waiting for five minutes!!”

“You don’t even have a watch” You fight back, handing over the laptop which Donghyuck snatches from your grasp with a scowl which makes you roll your eyes. “Why did you want it back anyway?”

Donghyuck looks at you incredulously. “You’re asking me why I want my laptop back?” You give him a blank look, not amused with his attitude but he grins, reaching forward to pat your head. “Mark wouldn’t let me borrow his to write down some notes and Yangyang’s being a little bitch, so I had to use mine”

Your brow raises. “Mark?”

“Canadian”

“Oh”

“Apparently Aisha lied about seeing him by the w—” Donghyuck cuts himself off with a huff when something, or someone, knocks into his shoulder, making him fly forwards. Your hands reach out, immediately steadying him when he almost trips over his shoes. His head snaps towards the suspect, opening his mouth to attack with countless profanities and threats… but he’s quiet, eyes wide and round as he stares.

The suspect, a girl around the same age as you both, looks at him alarmed and quickly bows her head, multiple apologies coming from her lips with a muffled explanation of not knowing her own strength. You side eye Donghyuck who remains quiet and frozen, mouth ajar and you take it upon yourself to place your finger beneath his chin and push upwards to close his mouth, sending the panicked girl a kind smile.

You reassure her that everything is okay and she nods, sparing a quick glance at Donghyuck before she slips through the door of the music department, letting it fall shut behind her. Donghyuck blinks as he slowly turns his head towards you and you bite back a chuckle at the expression on his face.

“I think I’m in love”

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

“I love Professor Moon but if we ever get separated to do an assignment again, I will commit arson” Miwoo threatens as the three of you manage to meet up for lunch, sitting outside on campus due to the sunny weather, picking a spot beneath a try to hide in the shade. Miwoo pulls a plastic container out of her bag as she eyes you both. “I’m being serious, by the way”

“We know” Haru nods, opening up a pack of BBQ chips, munching on one slowly as she looks at the container. “What is that?”

“It’s a quinoa salad!!” Miwoo grins, ripping off the lid and showcasing her food like she had just won a trophy. “Doesn’t it look pretty?”

You hum with a nod, clearly impressed with her presentation while you unwrap your poorly made sandwich. Miwoo cheers to herself, grabbing her fork from her bag and happily digging into her food. You go to bite into your sandwich until she leans forwards, holding her fork out to you with a decent amount of food at the end.

She urges you to try and you don’t need to be told twice, already leaning in to try a bite. You chew, you swallow, you pause. Holy shit. Miwoo proudly pats herself on the back at your reaction, scooping up some more on her fork and holding it out to Haru who happily tries it next.

“What else have you put in that?” Haru grills her immediately, trying to take the plastic container out of her hands but Miwoo fights back, holding it close to her chest. Haru points at her. “You’ve put something else in there!! I’ve tried you quinoa salad before, you little bitch…”

“It’s a secret ingredient” Miwoo jabs her fork into the salad as she mutters. “Probably my tears”

“What?” You instantly say, hearing her loud and clear.

Miwoo’s head snaps towards you and she laughs, dismissing you with a shake of her hand. “I was kidding! You know I don’t cry!” You and Haru don’t seem convinced and Miwoo notices that straight away, sighing as she puts down her salad. “Look, I didn’t cry. It was a joke… but I made this salad in the midst of me and Jeno breaking up so that’s probab—”

“You and Jeno broke up?” Haru cuts her off out of shock, her eyes wide and unbelieving. Miwoo nods her head as she plays with her food. You and Haru share a look of disbelief and you gesture for her to continue. Haru blinks and turns back to Miwoo. “How? When?”

“Last night. It was a mutual discussion” She tells you, tucking her long hair neatly behind her ears as her bottom lip gets caught between her teeth. “Well, I initiated the conversation… he just went along with it and then we broke up, both agreeing that we argue too much”

You send a disappointing look her way. “And you didn’t think to talk before just… breaking up?”

“We would end up just arguing even more anyways” Miwoo’s brows furrow with a deep frown. “Why are you both looking at me like that?”

“I’m shocked, to be honest” Haru states, munching on another BBQ chip, shaking her head in disbelief. “Why didn’t you guys try and talk before deciding to call it quits? Did you even want to end things?”

Miwoo is silent for a moment, taking in Haru’s words without making eye contact with anyone, staring down at her lunch with a blank expression that starts to make you worry. You’re not used to seeing Miwoo so quiet, unless she passed out from being too drunk or too tired, so hearing nothing but silence from her rang the alarm bells in your head.

You want to know what’s going on inside her mind, what thoughts she’s thinking, what she’s feeling but you know deep down that she doesn’t want to open up… she doesn’t like opening up. You respect her wishes, always, but it’s hard seeing someone you truly care about suffer alone in silence.

So, instead, you reach over and pat her arm. She looks up, giving you her full attention with sullen eyes and you smile, pointing at her salad that she’s been playing with for the past few minutes.

“Can I have some more? It was really good” Miwoo starts to smile at your words and nods her head excitedly. Haru watches you both with a soft grin, happy to see Miwoo lighten up from her previous sour mood and you help keep the smile on her face, keeping her preoccupied.

She takes out her phone when it buzzes to see a message from Renjun, cheeks becoming sore from the grin that remains on her face. Tapping the little camera icon in the left hand corner, she raises the phone up, making sure that the three of you are in frame when she calls out your names.

You both turn to face her, Miwoo throwing a middle finger to the camera with one hand while the other feeds you. Your eyes are wide, a fork hanging from your mouth but you give the camera a peace sign, ignoring the way Haru snickers as she takes the photo.

“Was that Renjun?” Miwoo asks, even though she knows the answer. Haru nods. “Are they meeting us out here?”

“He said he’s going to be a few minutes late” Haru says, thumbs quickly tapping against the keyboard on the screen before she swipes to the side, pulling up the groupchat. Her brows furrow as she reads the recent messages. “Yangyang and Donghyuck are on their way, Shotaro is staying behind and there’s nothing from Jeno or Jaemin”

“I saw Jeno earlier” You pipe up, biting into your sandwich as you side glance at Miwoo who hardly pays attention, staring down at her blood red coloured nails. “He was with that guy that hangs out in his class… Kim J?”

“Kim Jungwoo” Miwoo grabs her water from her bag, unscrewing the cap as she looks up at the two of you. “Whitish hair, tall, body like a greek god. He’s dating that girl that's studying economics: Nabi”

“Nabi?” You repeat. “Like the butterfly?”

“Yep” Miwoo nods, shoving a forkful of salad into her mouth and chewing quickly. She swallows but still covers her mouth to speak. “She’s super pretty but I don’t really like her attitude that much. She seems full of herself, thinks she’s better than everyone… which is weird because her little sister is the exact opposite, she’s cool”

“Who’s her sister?”

“Her name is—” Miwoo pauses, staring over your head with a look of disbelief before she starts laughing, shaking her head with her tongue poking at her cheek. “You’ve got to be kidding me”

Confusion is written all over your face but when you turn to look over your shoulder, you understand why she had that reaction. You see Eunbin walking across campus with Mia and Yeeun at her side, laughing at what Mia was saying. Your nail nervously scratches at your thumb as you watch her, heart thumping erratically in your chest at the way she carries herself. So confident. So pretty.

It’s like a bright light shines around her form, sparkles twinkling whenever she smiles, her laugh sounding like musical notes. Her beauty continues to make you speechless, struggling to comprehend how someone can be so perfect.

Your eyes widen comically as you notice she’s making her way over to your little group, waving happily when she sees you and you awkwardly wave back, a tight smile stuck on your face.

“She’s friends with Mia and Yeeun?” Haru questions, raising her brow at the trio.

“Told you… she’s strange” Miwoo says as they get closer, giving them one of her most famous fake smiles, tilting her head to the side as they stand in front of you both. Eunbin’s the only one to greet you three, the others remaining quiet and staring with a look in their eye that you fail to pinpoint but you ignore them, paying attention to Eunbin who calls out your name softly

“It’s great seeing you again” Eunbin says with a genuine tone that makes your stomach churn. “I’m sorry if I made you awkward or uncomfortable yesterday… I didn’t realise how tense the situation was until you left yesterday”

“It’s fine” You lie, shaking your head. “It was probably weird for the both of us”

“Very” Eunbin chuckles before she speaks again, but you struggle to focus on her words when you see Mia staring at you from behind her shoulder, smirking. She’s finding this whole situation hilarious and it makes your blood bubble.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms, he’ll throw you away when she comes back. Mia’s voice repeats in your head again but you know the beginning part is wrong, he told you the truth… He’ll throw you away when she comes back. You tear your eyes away from Mia to stare at nothing in particular, biting down on the skin of your cheek. Would the last part be true?

Wait. Does it even matter if Jaemin goes back to Eunbin? You brows furrow in deep thought. There’s no reason for you to be upset or even mad if Jaemin decides to go back to Eunbin… So why are you so against it? Why does the thought of it make your head hurt?

“So, yeah, I hope that we can be friends” Eunbin’s voice yanks you out of your thoughts and you blink rapidly, feeling hot underneath everyone’s stare as you realise you weren’t exactly listening to what she was saying, but you nod anyway which earns a grin. “Good! I’m glad! I should get going, I’m not supposed to be h—”

“Hold on, why are you here?” Miwoo interrogates this time, crossing her arms over her chest as she remains in harsh contact with Eunbin, her brow raised in suspicion. Miwoo’s challenging her, making her feel uncomfortable and uneasy, something she likes to do whenever she doesn’t like someone. Haru bites back an amused smile while you stay still. You can hear Yeeun scoff behind Eunbin.

“I came to get my old stuff from my class. I used to go here before I left” Eunbin explains with that sweet smile, not faltering under Miwoo’s eyes. She adjusts the bag strap on her shoulder as she turns to face Haru. “Actually, I did message Renjun on insta to see if he could pick it up for me… but I don’t think he saw it”

Unsurprisingly, Haru doesn’t react, remaining calm and collected as ever as she opens her packet of twizzlers, chewing on the red licorice nonchalantly while Miwoo’s eyebrows furrow at that, cocking her head to the side with her tongue poking at her cheek. Fuck, she’s getting angry. You stretch your legs and nudge her foot with yours discreetly, giving her a look that she doesn’t even take notice of as she keeps her gaze locked on Eunbin.

She speaks slowly. “You messaged Renjun?”

“Well, yeah, we were in the same art class” Eunbin explains further, holding up her hands in defence. “I just want my stuff, that’s all”

“Then go get it” The tone Miwoo uses surprises you all and Eunbin nods slowly, giving you and Haru a short smile for a goodbye before she walks away, Yeeun and Mia following close behind but not before sneering at Miwoo who flips them off, uninteresting in the pair as she turns to face Haru who watches the chaos quietly, still chewing on her twizzler. “Dude, she messaged your fucking boyfriend, how are you not livid right now?”

“I’m not worried” Haru shrugs her shoulders. “Renjun hates her as much as the others do. Besides, he showed me the message earlier on his phone, he deleted it”

“I don’t like her, at all” Miwoo turns her head in the direction they left in, face scrunching in disgust. “And the fact that she’s friends with Mia and Yeeun… It just screams ‘red flag’”

“What does?” The three of you turn your head at the sound of Donghyuck’s voice, seeing him and Yangyang standing above you with curious expressions on their faces.

“Nice of you to finally show up” Miwoo huffs angrily, despite making space for the pair to sit down in the circle. “Eunbin just made an appearance”

“Really?” Yangyang pulls a face, sitting down beside you and knocking against your shoulder in the process. You wince at the harsh contact, rubbing the sore area as you kick him in return and he yelps, pushing you in retaliation. You’re about to fight back harder, raising your hand to wallop the back of his head until you notice Jeno and Jaemin walking out of the building, heading straight to your little group.

Miwoo explains in depth to Yangyang and Donghyuck about Eunbin, cursing multiple profanities and over exaggerating parts of the story that has Donghyuck gasping in shock. Your eyes remain on Jaemin whose eyes are already on you even though he speaks to Jeno, a grin spreading across his lips and you mirror his expression, raising your hand in a shy wave.

Yangyang follows your stare in wonder only for his shoulders to slump once he sees Jaemin, taking this opportunity to shuffle to the side, using his arms to move himself over to Donghyuck and Miwoo, creating a distance between you and him, a space he knows that Jaemin will sit.

Yangyang looks away when Jaemin does settle down beside you with a hand resting on your knee, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest.

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

You sprawl across your couch, legs stretching over Jaemin’s lap as your laptop rests on your stomach, engrossed in the work that should’ve been completed in the library earlier, but you’re thankful that Professor Moon is laid back and chill when it comes to your class, allowing you to have extra time if needed.

Your eyes flit over to Jaemin, watching as he stares at his editing tablet on the armrest while his hand rubs your thigh in soothing motions, gripping the skin between his fingers every now and then before mindlessly tracing little patterns, making goosebumps rise in his path.

Jaemin sighs softly, putting down his stylus pen to adjust the glasses that rest on his nose and rubs his forehead, resuming back in his editing and englaring the photograph he previously took of Shotaro to smooth out the edges and you peer over your laptop to see the stressed out look plastered across his face.

Your lips purse together in thought, removing the laptop from your lap and placing it down on the ground. You capture his attention just as you move around on the sofa, watching as you shift onto your knees, resting your bottom on the heels of your feet. His lips twitch upwards into a smile, finding you all too cute looking at him the way you are. He shuts off his tablet, carefully placing it down on the coffee table in front of him, giving you his full attention.

You both look at each other for a while in complete quiet. It was so natural to do so. No awkwardness, no uncomfortableness, it was just peace. This would be a good idea to tell him about the trip. That little voice in your head speaks and you struggle to swallow, eyes faltering from him. Tell him.

“Let’s take a break, hm?” You suggest and Jaemin nods slowly, agreeing. You clear your throat. “Also, I want to tell you something”

His brow quirks up. “Okay?”

“Okay” You repeat, sucking in a deep breath, palms becoming sweaty. Tell him. “There’s this trip that my, uh, my professor told me about not so long ago. It’s for aspiring writers, especially travel writers, which has been a huge dream of mine. It’s a pretty big trip, you know, and you get to travel around the world for a few months, writing about the places that you visit… And I got offered to go on that trip”

Jaemin’s silent. He’s staring at you. He’s staring through you. There’s no expression on his face, his smile gone. Your heart rate spikes up, you find it hard to breathe. Your vision is fuzzy and your fingers pinch the skin of your thigh to try and calm yourself down from the anxiety attack you’re about to have, from the thoughts that circle around in your head.

But, he smiles. He genuinely smiles.

You’re too frozen in shock to comprehend him leaning towards you, his hand fondly rubbing the back of your head before trailing down your back, pressing you against him. You fall into his side, unable to tear your eyes away from him as he tilts his head.

“I’m so proud of you” Jaemin says and your chest immediately bursts, feeling like little sparkes are prickling your skin and a weight is lifted off of your shoulders. You immediately relax, letting out a deep exhale of relief as you feel his fingers gently tug at your earrings affectionately. “I’m really proud of you”

“You are?” You ask and Jaemin nods, chuckling at the expression on your face. You let out a groan, slapping the palm of your hand against your forehead. “That was—oh my god—I’m such a—that was so—”

“You’re rambling” He cuts you off, amused.

“That was so anti-climatic” You tell him, shaking your head as your hand falls to his lap. “I was expecting some big negative reaction but… wow, that was so easy? Why was it that easy?” You eye him suspiciously. “Do you have something to tell me?”

“What? No” Jaemin laughs, letting his arm rest around your shoulders. “I’m genuinely proud of you… did you think I wouldn’t be proud of you?”

“It’s not that” You shake your head. “I just… I thought that you’d be upset or angry that I’d be leaving for a few months if I go on the trip. I thought it might, you know, bring back bad memories…”

“Oh…” Jaemin hums, pressing his lips together in deep thought. “This isn’t like that, though” You blink at that, unsure of what he means. “Eunbin didn’t tell me about her trip. She left without saying anything so I was clueless. You told me about the trip, you’re letting me know things… I mean, I’d be pretty angry and upset if you did what she did and kept it from me”

You laugh awkwardly. “I’m glad I didn’t decide to go with that then”

He gives you a deadpan expression. “You were going to keep it from me”

“Not exactly!!” You shake your head, quick to defend yourself even though that was the case. “I was scared about telling you. I didn’t know how to tell you—I didn't know how you would react!! I thought the others would—”

“The others know?” He cuts you off, his mouth dropping open in mock offence and you roll your eyes as you realise he’s been joking around with you this entire time and that he’s not actually upset. You go to speak but he beats you to it. “Oh, you’re evil”

Now it’s your turn to be offended. “I’m not”

“You are” He nods rapidly. “You’re evil. You told everyone but me”

“Actually, they found out. I didn’t tell anyone” You mutter under your breath through gritted teeth and Jaemin laughs, leaning forwards to press his lips against your temple in a short peck. You raise your head at that which makes him come forwards again, capturing your lips with his.

You hand cups his jaw, bringing him to you as close as possible, stomach swirling with excitement as you feel him smile against your lips. His tongue mindlessly plays with yours and you’re desperate, you’re so fucking desperate to climb onto his lap and makeout with him all even until you feel him pull away.

You whine, chasing his lips but he tuts with a shake of his head.

“You were mean to me” Jaemin whispers, his nose brushing against yours and you notice the way his mouth quirks up in a sly grin. This isn’t going to be good. “You could make it up to me?” You give him a blank look, crossing your arms over your chest as you nod for him to continue. “Give me a blowjob?”

You snort. “Pig”

Jaemin frowns. “Handjob then?”

“You want me to give you a handjob? Right here? In my living room?” You giggle, gesturing towards the door with a quick nod of your head. “Where anyone can walk in and see us?”

Jaemin hums with a slow nod, tongue darting out to lick his lips as he stares at you with a smirk. Your thighs clench together at his expression, excitement pooling in the pit of your stomach. He leans his head closer to yours. “Doesn’t the thought of getting caught sound fun?”

You tut even though a smile spreads across your lips, crawling your fingers up his leg and stroking his thigh over his sweatpants. The smirk falters from his face, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he watches your hand cup his boner, instinctively pushing his hips up into your palm. Undoing the strings on his sweatpants, you slip your hand beneath the waistband, eyebrows raising in surprise as you realise he’s wearing no boxers.

He gives you a sly wink to which you roll your eyes at, drawing his length out of his sweatpants and wrapping your fingers around him, thumb rubbing along the underside, watching as he grows bigger. Jaemin shifts beside you, sighing at the way you touch him, head lolling to the side.

Once you start jerking him off at a slow pace, his head drops to your shoulder, watching your hand work him. He’s in awe at how perfect your hand wraps around him. Made just for me. He hums as your fingertip spreads the precum that leaks from his slit and he jolts when you smear it around his sensitive tip, a breathy moan falling from his lips.

You pump his cock with long, languid strokes and Jaemin parts his lips to groan, pupils dilated and filled with lust, brows contorting in pleasure. He can’t control himself, lightly rolling his hips upwards to meet your pace but he shudders as your thumb presses down on his leaking slit in warning to not move or change the pace.

You tut. “You’re so nee—”

“Don’t” He breathes out heavily, broken moans ripping through his throat as you stroke his cock faster, leaning over to drool over his tip. The wet sounds of your hand twisting over his cock sends an ache to your core, desperate to be touched. You squeeze your thighs together for some friction, your own breathing labouring.

A guttural groan leaves him, head flinging back against the sofa, mouth open wide as he pants. He’s losing it. He feels like he’s going crazy. The way you’re looking at him, the way your hand moves against him, the dirty wet sounds. Fuck, he’s going to cum soon. Jaemin’s grunts, trying to control himself and not focus too much on your hand rubbing his sensitive head. He doesn’t want this to end. Please. Please Plea—

“Fuuuuck” A grunt rips from the back of his throat, biting down harshly on his bottom lip as he screws his eyes shut, body stilling just before cums. It shoots out in long strings, coating your hand and his t-shirt, and your eyes widen in shock to see how much he’s giving you, your hand refusing to stop its ministrions on his spent cock.

You laugh at his weak attempts at pushing your hand away, grinning at the way he whines at the overstimulation and you finally let go, watching as he flops back against the sofa, chest heaving as he sucks in deep breaths.

“Am I forgiven?” You ask, voice quiet and soft. His head turns to look at you, eyes filled with adoration and affection. Your brows furrow at the hazy look he’s giving you, wondering what’s going on inside of his head and your cheeks warm at the attention, wanting to break eye contact out of shyness but you can’t seem to do so. You feel stuck, you feel hot… you feel—

You’re snatched out of your thoughts when Jaemin lurches forward to kiss you, knocking the air out of your lungs. Your fingers curl at the front of his shirt, drawing your bodies as close together as you can with the help of his hands on your waist that help you onto his lap, throwing your leg over his hips.

You’ve been sex deprived for so long that you already feel the pool of slick between your thighs, underwear uncomfortably sticking to your folds and you pull away from Jaemin’s lips to get rid of your leggings, laughing at Jaemin’s failed attempts to help you, eager to get you out of your clothes.

He flings your leggings somewhere behind you, the two of you not caring where they land as he reconnects your lips in a messy kiss, a clash of teeth and tongue. He nips down your jaw and finds interest in your neck as his fingers hook in the waistband of your panties, ready to rip them off of your body and have at you but the sound of his phone buzzing captures your attention, craning your neck to see the culprit.

You freeze on top of him, seeing Eunbin’s name flash across his screen. Why is she calling him? His phone stops buzzing for a few moments and you allow yourself to get lost in his kisses again but his phone lights back up, her name appearing on the screen.

“What’s wrong?” Jaemin mumbles against the skin of your neck, pulling away with a pop as he realises you’re not speaking. He moves away from the marks created on your neck to look up at you, moving fallen hair out of your face before following your line of sight, his hands slowly dropping from your face as he sees the caller ID.

“Ignore it” You say, almost pleading. You turn back to Jaemin to see his attention on the device. You grab at his face, angling him towards you to brush your lips against his. “Ignore it”

He kisses you again, tongue sliding against yours. Your fingers rake through his hair, gasping into the kiss as he tugs at your underwear again, hearing the seam rip a little at the force. You’re ready for him to tear the flimsy material off of your body and take you on the sofa, but it never comes, not when the phone buzzes again.

Jaemin’s the one to pull back this time, reaching for his phone on the arm rest. Eunbin’s name flashes across the screen and you sigh, your hands leaving his hair and falling into your lap. He stares at the screen for a few moments, tongue poking at his cheek in deep thought before he slides his finger across the bottom and raises the phone to his ear.

You blink, shocked that he answered the phone while you are both in a pretty serious position and instantly, you yearn for him withers away into nothing.

His brows furrow as he listens to Eunbin speak on the other side, something about wanting to talk, something about Jeno. Jaemin meets your eyes as he tells her he’s busy but you can faintly hear her pleas and you can feel yourself slowly get frustrated. Is it sexually? Are you just angry? You slide off of his lap the second you sense his demeanour change, adjusting your panties as you sit beside him in silence, chewing at your thumb nail.

Jaemin mutters a quiet goodbye and hangs up the phone, looking over at you with the most apologetic frown and your blood bubbles.

“Are you—are you serious right now?” You look at him in disbelief, sitting up straight as you turn your body towards him. “You’re leaving, aren’t you? Are you kidding?”

“Y/N…” Jaemin calls your name softly, tucking himself back into his sweats and you laugh, shaking your head in bewilderment. He puts the phone to the side and grabs your hand, trying to interlock your fingers with his own but you pull away, not allowing him to have what he wants. He sighs. “Don’t be like this. Please”

“How can I not?” You mutter, refusing to look at him, feeling embarrassed at your next words. “Jae, we haven’t had sex in days… it feels like everytime we try, we’re always interrupted and then when we finally get a chance to be alone…”

“Hey” Jaemin reaches towards you, cupping your face with his hands and forces you to look at him. “Whatever you’re thinking inside your head right now, stop it. You know that I’d choose to spend time with you over anyone in a heartbeat… I’m only leaving because I know Jeno will snap if she shows up at the house and I can’t be bothered to deal with the arguments. She just wants to talk again and I promise you, I’ll be right back”

You take in his words, nodding slowly. “What does she even want to talk about anyway?”

Jaemin shrugs his shoulders, his fingers delicately caressing your face. “I don’t know. I think she’s just trying to be friends again, you know, like we talked about before”

When you don’t respond, Jaemin shifts beside you, pulling you towards him to give you a kiss. It’s soft, slow, gentle. It makes your head spin and you feel giddy, a smile threatening to make its way onto your lips. The way he makes you shy and putty in his grip will always be a mystery to you, you never understood how easily he makes you weak.

He tilts his head to deepen the kiss, fingers moving from your cheeks to grab the back of your neck, his hold desperate and the second your hands go to grip his shoulders, you’re reminded of the kiss you shared at his front door yesterday morning when Eunbin was in the kitchen, you’re reminded of the talk they had yesterday and you’re reminded of the previous phone call.

The thought of Eunbin makes you move back from the kiss and Jaemin chases your lips, kissing you one last time before he stands from the sofa. You remain seated, watching him as he adjusts himself in his sweats and glances down at his cum stained shirt that he knows he’s going to have to hide and change as soon as he gets home.

He runs his hands through his messy hair as he leans down, planting a kiss on the top of your head and you give him a tight smile, watching as he walks towards the front door.

He never came back that night.

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

You haven’t seen Jaemin fully in three days, his life being completely taken over by classes and hanging out with Eunbin who seemed to not want to leave his side, according to the majority of your group. He makes the effort to see you, even if it's passing through the corridors on campus, at lunch or even if it's a quick facetime call to see how you’re doing, sometimes he even has a few minutes to help you get off over the phone. But still, it’s not the real thing.

You miss him, but you were unsure if you miss the sex or if you miss his company. It could be both, you think. Let it be both.

Your days have been spent mostly with the group, Jeno, Donghyuck Yangyang never failing to leave your side, even coming over uninvited (not that they needed an invitation to come over anyways). You begin to notice that Jeno comes around when Eunbin’s at their house, refusing to be anywhere near her whenever she appears which, truth be told, you find amusing, secretly wanting to know the lengths Jeno would go to not be around her.

Even with Miwoo here at the apartment, they hardly acknowledge each other much. Just a simple look before one of them turns away. You feel bad for the both of them… but you also wants to smack them across their heads for being so idiotic and not talking to each other.

“Honey, we’re home!” Donghyuck’s voice sings as soon as the apartment door unlocks, kicking off his shoes at the door and rushing inside while Jeno and Yangyang linger behind, taking off their shoes and coats.

Originally, you were going to spend the day alone due to Haru being at work with Renjun tagging along and Miwoo taking Shotaro shopping, and knowing that those two shopaholics wouldn’t be back for a good few hours, you decided to have a you day; your favourite food, your favourite alcoholic drink and your favourite movie while possibly feeling sorry for yourself.

But the entire idea is flushed down the drain as soon as the trio enter your apartment, yet you’re grateful. You really didn’t want to be alone.

“Hi” You greet them happily as they walk into the kitchen. Donghyuck immediately darts for the refrigerator, pushing the hood down on top of head and drums his fingers across the open door, staring at the goods inside with a pout. Jeno sits down at the island, adorned in a pair of black gym shorts and a white hoodie, bangs messily splayed across his forehead. His fingers play with the little tuft of hair at the back of his neck, the mullet growing in nicely.

Yangyang, on the other hand, is wearing something less comfy and casual. Your brows pull together as you eye the black balenciaga sweatshirt he’s wearing with his baggy denim jeans and black converses.

He senses your staring and presses his palms against the marble counter to lean on them, popping out his ass. “What? Do I look sexy?”

“You wish” You scoff, sitting down opposite Jeno who’s chuckling. Yangyang flips you off as he sits down beside him and Donghyuck soon joins you with a yoghurt cup in hand. You point to it. “That’s mine”

“Oh” Donghyuck sounds defeated even though he rips off the plaster lid and dips a spoon inside. He blinks at you before he smiles. “Mine now”

You huff. “All you losers do is come to my apartment and eat my food!”

“Correction, we come to your apartment and eat your food with you so you’re not alone” Yangyang grins, resting his chin on his hand as he looks at you. “Who’s the loser really?”

“Still you” You grumble, leaning back into your seat with your arms wrapped around your middle. “Way to put me down, by the way. Mentioning that I’m alone here.. Thanks for that”

Yangyang sends an air kiss your way and a wink. “You’re welcome, sweetheart”

“Has he not talked to you today?” Jeno asks you as he fishes his phone out of his pocket and you nod your head, informing him on your brief interaction you had with Jaemin this morning on campus. Jeno doesn’t seem too impressed with your answer. “Really? That’s it?”

“He’s been busy” You shrug your shoulders, unable to look them in their eyes as they all stare at you. They know you’re making excuses. You know you’re making excuses. “Is Eunbin there?”

“No, thank god” Donghyuck answers this time, shoving a spoonful of yoghurt in his mouth. “I can’t take another second of her trying to talk to us and act like everything is okay. I’m tired of hearing her voice”

“Aren’t you, I don’t know, annoyed?” Yangyang queries, looking at you with concerned filled eyes. “I mean… his ex-girlfriend is trying to spend time with him while you’re here, alone at home”

“I don’t have a reason to be annoyed” You shrug your shoulders again, not knowing what else to do. “What Jaemin does is none of my concern… and neither is Eunbin for that matter. They can do whatever they want”

“But you guys are official” Donghyuck points out, putting the empty yoghurt cup to the side and licking the spoon clean. “You’re allowed to be annoyed, right?”

“I think I can only be annoyed if he ends up sleeping with her” You mumble under your breath. Suddenly, you’re filling with dread. Would he sleep with Eunbin again even after everything they’ve been through? Would he ever sleep with her? The thought makes you feel sick and you rub at your forehead, trying to get rid of the images of the pair inside of your head.

Jeno knocks his foot against yours beneath the table. “Jaemin wouldn’t sleep with Eunbin” His eyes darts to Donghyuck as he speaks, giving him a hardened glare which has Donghyuck shrinking in his seat with a sulk. “Jaemin wouldn’t do that, not after the shit she put him through…”

You frown. “That bad, huh?”

“He was depressed for a long time. All he would do was cry, drink, take drugs, feel shittier and repeat” Jeno sighs as he recalls the moments of his best friend in pain, chewing at his cheek. “It was a constant cycle that he couldn’t get out of. There was a short period where he wanted to sleep around with people, to forget the pain, to feel something different… but he couldn’t do it. He kept seeing her in his mind, it made him feel worse”

The way Jeno explains Jaemin’s post breakup, it reminded you of yourself. You were reminded about how shitty you felt, how disgusting and lonely you were, how alcohol was your coping mechanism and how badly you wanted to feel something different… just like how Jaemin did. You frown at that, heart dropping into your stomach at the thought of him so upset.

“Which is why we were kinda surprised when we found out he was sleeping with you” Yangyang tells you, awkwardly fiddling with the ring on his thumb as he refuses to meet your eyes. “We didn’t expect him to get into this type of situation with someone… It’s the same for you too, we didn’t expect you to do it”

“Yeah” You breathe out. “Me neither”

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

“So, little lady, are you going to tell me what’s actually going on in that little head of yours?” You hiss as Jeno knocks his knuckle against your head, rubbing the sore area as he drops down beside you on the sofa.

Your eyes flitter over to Yangyang and Donghyuck, the pair dead asleep on the loveseat, limbs sprawled across each other with their mouths hanging open, light snoring sounds coming from them both. Empty beer bottles and takeout bags are scattered on the floor around them, it makes you snicker at the sight and you pull out your phone to take a picture, completely forgetting Jeno’s previous question.

Jeno seems to have forgotten his own question too as he peers over your shoulder at the photo, watching as you draw around their bodies in the snapchat app with funky coloured lines and Jeno reaches his arm around to draw devil horns on top of Donghyuck’s head while you add black love hearts around Yangyang.

You post the picture on your private snap before saving the photo and posting it in the groupchat, already receiving quick messages and reactions from the others who find the picture funny just as much as you two do.

“I’m fine” You finally answer him, putting your phone down and bringing your knees up to your chest comfortably. Jeno gives you a look, clearly not believing a word you say and you put your hands up. “I’m serious! I’m fine”

He purses his lips in deep thought. “Would it make you talk if I told you that I wasn’t fine?”

Your hands instantly drop to your sides. “What’s wrong?”

“Nuh-uh, you first”

“You’re unbelievable” You sigh, shaking your head. “Fine, okay, I’ll tell you” Jeno grins happily, shifting around in his spot to get comfortable. “Since Eunbin has come back into the picture, I’ve been feeling very… I don’t know, replaceable, maybe? Is that even the right word?” The grin slowly drops from Jeno’s face as he listens to you speak, expression becoming stone cold at the mention of Eunbin’s name. “Even though Jaemin has been reassuring me, in his own little way, I’m still on the edge with a lot of things… I feel like something bad is going to happen, it’s making me uneasy”

“You make Jaemin happy” Your heart thumps at that. “You make him really happy. He’s so comfortable around you, you know, I haven’t seen him like this in a long time. Eunbin is doing her Eunbin thing… I see her as a leech, she latches onto things and she doesn’t let go. Jaemin has always been her target since they first met, she was obsessed with him and Jaemin became obsessed with her”

“Are you saying this stuff because it’s true or because you don’t like her?”

Jeno chuckles, leaning his head back against the sofa cushions as he looks at you. “Both”

You roll your eyes, shaking your head with a small smile. “Have you ever liked her?”

Jeno’s silent for a moment, deep in thought. Has there been a time where he liked Eunbin? He remembered when he first met her, when Jaemin first pointed her out in the art store she worked at. She was quiet but confident, which Jeno found interesting, and he liked how artistic she was, it reminded him of Renjun. Eunbin fought hard for what she wanted, which Jeno respected a lot… but she was selfish.

He wasn’t fully sure if she even meant to do it, but she wanted Jaemin for herself. She took up most of his time, pulling Jaemin away from him and the rest of the boys. He felt like she invaded Jaemin’s personal space, his too.

She was everywhere Jaemin would be and Jeno hated it. Was he jealous? Of course, he hardly got to spend time with his best friend who lived with him. Was he angry? Of course, Jaemin became too fixated on his relationship to even think about anything else… But Jeno always respected Jaemin, so he pushed all his emotions and feelings about Eunbin to the side when he saw how truly happy Jaemin was.

His mood turns sour when he's reminded of the breakup, remembering seeing Jaemin’s face, so broken and red raw from the tears that streamed down his cheeks. He let Jaemin cry into his arms, holding him tight and consoling him as Jaemin made excuses for Eunbin’s departure. I wasn’t good enough for her. I didn’t do enough. Am I a bad person? What did I do to deserve this? Jaemin’s fragile voice repeats through his head and Jeno sighs, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth.

“No” He answers honestly. “Never”

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

you: do u want to come over??? you: i was thinking maybe we could watch a movie or something??? you: i’ll cook dinner later :)

jaemin: i can’t rn baby i’m busy

you: oh

jaemin: can u come over later? [read 1:01pm]

You shut off your phone, shaking your head as you carelessly throw it to the side, not caring about the noise it makes as it lands on the kitchen island. Your fingers grip the roots of your hair, lips pressing together in a straight line as you exhale deeply through your nose.

It’s now been a week since you last hung out with Jaemin in person, the two of you having to cancel plans due to your assignments and schedules getting too hectic or, in Jaemin’s case, always being too busy to do something.

Deep down, you knew that his big photography projects were nearing their deadlines and he had to get them done… but there was always that little voice in the back of your mind that told you he was deliberately ignoring you, that he actually wasn’t busy and that he didn’t want to spend time with you anymore… that he’s back with Eunbin.

Your head falls into your hands as you sigh. Eunbin’s name makes you feel sad. The thought of Eunbin alone makes you feel like your throat is tight and you’re about to lose breath, but the thought of Jaemin being with Eunbin makes you feel like you’re going to lose your mind. It makes your chest feel painful and your eyes burn, almost like you’re holding back the tears but why would you need to cry? You have no reason… or maybe you do.

No you don’t, you tell yourself. You push back any thoughts and feelings about the situation, taking a sip of your water at your side before deciding to work on your assignments to keep yourself busy, not wanting to think about anything regarding the pair.

It doesn’t take long for Haru to join you, strolling into the kitchen with her arms full of notebooks and papers. You pull out the chair beside you for her to sit down and she huffs, dropping her stuff down on the island as she flops down in her chair.

“I’m so ready for these assignments to be over” Haru tells you, ripping the scrunchie off of her wrist and gathering her hair on top of her head to keep it out of her eyes, ignoring the little strands of hair that frame around her face.

“Me too” You mutter, eyeing the striped yellow and brown long sleeved shirt that’s covering her body, noticing the little specks of paint on the sleeves. “Is Renjun here?”

“He was” Haru nods, quickly pushing herself up from her seat to walk over to the miniature espresso machine to make herself a mug of coffee. “He left a little while ago. He asked Shotaro if he can paint him while he dances”

“That’s sweet” You say, leaning your elbows on the island. “Miwoo’s still sleeping”

“Speaking off Miwoo…” Haru begins, sitting back down beside you and taking a sip of her coffee. She pulls out her phone out of her shorts, fingers tapping quickly against the screen. You watch curiously, seeing her pull up Miwoo’s instagram and tap the first photo that she posted a week ago in her new gorgeous black dress that you’re obsessed with, she looked so pretty.

Haru faces the phone towards you, telling you to read the comments after your own. You do as she says, reading through the comments with a smile, loving the appreciation and the compliments she’s getting until you focus on the most recent one. Your eyes go wide, taking the phone out of Haru’s hands to get a better look, making sure you wasn’t reading anything wrong.

sunwo.o pretty

You gape, glancing back up at Haru in shock before looking back at the phone. Haru nods, silently confirming that it is actually Sunwoo’s account, that he did comment the compliment under her photo.

“Are they friends?” You ask as you tap on Sunwoo’s account and go through his photos and comments to see if Miwoo was active in them. You spot a few likes on his recents but no comments. You hand the phone back to Haru. “Do you think they’re talking?”

“I have no idea” Haru shrugs her shoulders. “Maybe he knows about the breakup between her and Jeno? Could be trying to get into her pants or something?”

“Sunwoo likes sleeping around but he’s pretty picky about who he sleeps with” You inform her. During your relationship with Eric, you got super close with Sunwoo too. He told you everything, he found a safe place in you and didn’t hold back from telling you things that sometimes you didn’t really want to know or found concerning. He liked sleeping with people who didn’t know him and vice versa. All he gave them was his age and his consent, nothing more, nothing less. “Plus, he used to be friends with Jeno too and he respected him so I doubt he would sleep with Miwoo…”

“Sunwoo now might be different from Sunwoo then” Haru points out and you hum, knowing that it could possibly be true. “How are you and Jaemin?”

You freeze at the name, staring down at your notes. You’re unsure how to answer that. Did you even want to answer it? Your lips press together and you give her a short nod, indicating that you’re both good as you decide now’s the time to get back to your assignments, not sparing her a glance.

Haru doesn’t believe you, not one bit. She senses something is off and her brows furrow, concerned and worried. She contemplates on asking you again, on demanding a full answer out of you but she knows how stubborn you can get sometimes, especially when you don’t want to talk about something.

She’s aware Jaemin hasn’t been around as much and she secretly hopes it's for a good reason, but she has a feeling it’s not. Haru see’s how different you and Jaemin both have been acting since Eunbin came back from New York and despite not fully knowing Eunbin, she feels a little bit of hatred towards her, knowing that she’s upsetting you.

You both remain quiet as you work, only sharing a few mutters back and forth when you’re stuck on a certain word or in need of some advice. You write, you ask for some help, you refill your drinks and repeat.

Haru finishes way before you but still decides to keep you company, remaining silent at your side and drinking her coffee as she scrolls through her phone. You ask for help again but when she doesn’t answer, you lift your head to look at her, noticing how engrossed she is with something on her phone and you don’t really think much of it as you go back to your writing, filling in what you think is right.

She quietly calls out your name just as you finish your paragraph and you hum, glancing up from your papers to give her your attention. Your lips curl into a frown as you notice the confusion and hesitancy on her face and it’s you that calls out Haru’s name this time, scrunching your brows together as she looks between you and her phone repeatedly.

“Have you…” Haru pauses, tilting her head to the side as she blinks. “Have you seen Eunbin’s post on instagram?”

“No” You shake your head, leaning back into your seat. “I don’t follow her”

Haru finally rests her eyes on you. “I think you should look at it”

Your hands move faster than you can blink, reaching across the island to retrieve your phone and hurrying to the instagram app in record speed to type in Eunbin’s username that Haru reads out loud to you. You bring up her page, teeth gnawing into your bottom lip nervously as you wait for it to load in, not realising your hands are starting to shake.

The page loads and your mouth instantly dries as a familiar person appears on her recent post.

You tap the photo, unable to form a proper sentence as you take in all it’s details. It's Jaemin, you know it’s Jaemin. You know Jaemin like that back of your hand. He’s holding his camera, those are his hands and his rings… that’s him. His hair is no longer it’s perfect black that you liked, it’s blonde. The caption: “still my favourite person” throws you off more than the time it was posted, which was an hour ago. He was spending time with her… that’s why he was busy.

You’re not sure what kind of mixed emotions washes through you but you hate it, it makes you feel uncomfortable and you fear you’re about to throw up, immediately shutting off your phone and placing it down on the side as you go back to your papers without another look or word.

Haru stares at you, the frown on her face deepening at your odd behaviour but she knows how much you’re affected by what you just saw despite being quiet. She hurts for you to the point she decides to get up from her seat and stand beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and you furrow your brows at her touch, giving her a confused look which she responds with a soft and gentle smile.

“What are you doing?”

“Hugging you” She answers simply as she pulls you closer to her chest, her hand delicately caressing the back of your head, her touch so comforting and warm. “Is that a problem?”

“No” You speak softly, fighting back a smile as you melt into her embrace. “Can I ask why you’re hugging me though?”

“It just looks like you need it” Haru shrugs, moving her hand from your hair to rub your back as she glances down at your phone, chewing the inside of her cheek in thought. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I’m here for you and if something, anything, is on your mind I’m happy to help with whatever is”

“I know” Your voice cracks. You’re doomed. Your eyes start to sting. “I don’t even know what’s on my mind right now, Haru… It’s just a mixture of things and I’m struggling to find the real one, you know?”

“I hope you don’t mind me saying this but, it’s obviously jealousy and hurt towards Jaemin and Eunbin for starters” Haru tells you and you go to disagree until she shakes her head, motioning for you to stop. “Come on, Y/N… it’s completely normal to feel like this, especially in this situat—”

“I’m not supposed to feel jealous” You cut her off, ripping yourself away from the hug to face her completely. Your eyes water. “What we have is just sex, okay? We got into this friends with benefits type of relationship because we missed sex. We told each other that we wouldn’t fall for each other or claim ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend—We made rules!! I can’t, Haru… I can’t feel jealous”

“It’s hard to control your own feelings and your own emotions” Haru tells you with a soft tone. “It’s okay”

“It’s not okay—”

“Why?”

The tear slips from your eye and down your cheek, dripping onto your papers. “Because I think I like Jaemin”

The walls that you’ve built up, the real feelings that you locked away in the back of your mind, the emotions that you’ve held in for so long, it all crumbles. The weight on your chest withers away and you can finally breathe again after struggling, gasping for air. Your hand slaps against your mouth, the sobs that rip from the back of your throat are loud, the tears stream uncontrollably down your cheeks and you’re unable to control your erratic breathing. You feel free.

Haru looks at you in pure shock as you break down and she flings her arms around you, allowing you to sob into her chest. Your fingers grip her shirt, surely staining the material with your salty tears but she doesn’t seem to care. She kisses the crown of your head, cooing and whispering sweet words: you’re going to be okay, it’s okay, let it out.

You like Jaemin, you like him a lot. You started liking him the day of Eric’s party when he showed up at the apartment all ready to go but dropped everything to stay with you, when he told you that if you’re feeling low or if you feel like you’re going to lose yourself to your bad thoughts, you got him. You’ll always have him.

Parting from Haru’s embrace, you sniffle as you wipe under your eyes. Haru is sweet enough to help you, pushing your hair out of your face and using the sleeve of her shirt to wipe at your cheeks. You let out a shaky breath, looking up at Haru and giving her your best smile which she coos at, affectionately pinching your cheeks.

“I’m proud of you, you know” She tells you, moving to sit back down beside you. “It takes a lot of guts to admit something like that, it must’ve been hard”

You shrug your shoulders and adjust yourself in your seat, bringing your knees up to your chest. Your cheeks feel warm at her praise but you don’t say anything, opting to rest your chin on the tops of your knees as you look at nothing in particular, mind filling with thoughts about Jaemin.

You’re shocked at yourself for revealing your true feelings and you’re unsure on where to go from here. You broke one of the biggest rules that you and Jaemin listed. Rule number three: no feelings, no falling in love, no getting jealous. You mentally crossed the rule out in your mind, teeth gnawing at your cheek as you realise you did all of them.

You want to knock some sense into yourself, to scream at yourself how wrong you are for breaking the rules. You’re embarrassed, you feel stupid. It’s one-sided, you think, and that’s the most pathetic.

“I think you should talk with Jaemin”

Your eyes flick towards Haru. “You’re kidding… I can’t do that”

“Why not?” She furrows her brows. “It’s better than to keep this all to yourself. You need to tell him how you feel before you get stuck down a rabbit hole”

You laugh at that. “I think I’m already stuck. There’s no way I can just outright tell him that I like him… do you realise how embarrassing that is? I’ll get laughed at, I’ll look like a fool—”

“You’ve known Jaemin for, what, almost three months? Do you really think he’d be the type to laugh at you?” Haru questions you instantly, shaking her head. “You know Jaemin better than anyone… he’s not the type of person to laugh at you, especially when you’re being honest and talking about your feelings”

“It’s been three months already?” Your eyes are wide, mouth agape. You couldn’t wrap your head around it, there’s no way you’ve been friends with benefits for that long. It makes you feel dizzy.

“Well, it’s coming up to three months” Haru corrects herself. “Still, you should talk to him. Text him right now and ask if you can meet up”

You blink. “So suddenly?” You gulp at the thought. “Isn’t he with Eunbin right now?”

“Fuck Eunbin” Haru curses and your eyes bulge in surprise, not expecting those words or the tone she uses. “This isn’t about her. This is about you and Jaemin. Don’t ever let her get in between that… no matter what”

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

After your conversation with Haru, she left to go spend the rest of her day with Renjun while you sucked up the courage to go talk to Jaemin, to tell him how you truly felt. You sent him a quick text previously to let him know that you would be over soon but you still stand in the middle of your room, staring at the heaps of clothes on your bed as you nervously nibble the skin around your fingers.

You’re unsure why you even care about what you wear, knowing that Jaemin doesn’t really care about your appearance, not when you’ve been around him in an old ratted shirt and sweatpants. Why did you feel the need to impress him all of a sudden? You shake your head, rummaging through the pile of clothes, flinging some over your shoulder with a noise of dissatisfaction at the ones you thought weren’t suitable.

“What are you doing?” You hear a voice question behind you. You spin around, seeing Miwoo standing in your bedroom doorway, rubbing at her eyes. You frown as you drink in her appearance. There are bags under her eyes and her face is paler than usual, hair messily tied on top of her head.

“Just looking for clothes” You answer quietly, dropping the items in your hand as you straighten up, looking at her in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine” Miwoo gives you her best smile, stepping further into your room. “Why are you looking for clothes? Are you going somewhere?”

“Jaemin’s” You eye her warily. “Have you been asleep this entire time?”

“Not really” Her answer is short, which isn’t like her, at all. You watch as she sits down on your bed, making herself comfy and staring down at the pile of clothes, touching the fabrics softly. Her lips jut out in a pout. “Will you be leaving soon?”

“I don’t know—What’s going on?” Your brows furrow together, your arms crossing over your chest as you kick the pile of clothes to the side and sit down beside her. She doesn’t answer your question, instead she stares ahead, eyes scanning around your room. The frown deepens on your face as you call out her name again. “Miwoo?”

“It’s nothing” Miwoo shakes her head but oddly, she continues. “It’s just you’ll be leaving soon, right? And Haru’s already gone… so, I’ll be here…” She scratches herself, feeling awkward as she mutters the last words. “...by myself”

You’re surprised at her honestly, and you really didn’t expect her to speak in such a way. You decided to press on. “And you don’t want to be here by yourself?”

“Not really” She repeats her answer from earlier, a lot quieter this time.

Miwoo keeps her attention on your carpet, fiddling with the jewellery on her fingers. She feels uncomfortable, being this honest with you. She doesn’t like the feeling it gives her, she feels too vulnerable, too exposed… but she can’t seem to stop admitting what she’s thinking or feeling, there’s something pushing against her, egging her to continue on but she remains silent again, waiting for you to say something which she hopes you will soon, the silence becoming a little too much.

You make a noise of understanding, nodding your head as you relax beside her. Your arms drop, hands placing in your lap as you pat a rhythm on your thighs. You can sense Miwoo feels awkward, which you hate, but you want her to keep talking about what’s going on inside her head.

“Have you spoken to Jeno?” Great work.

“Nope” Miwoo shakes her head. “He tried talking to me yesterday but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to argue, I wasn’t in the mood for it”

You hum. “Maybe an argument wasn't going to happen? It could’ve been a normal conversation”

Miwoo shrugs her shoulders. “I didn’t want to risk it”

“Miwoo…” A sigh leaves your lips and she looks at you, eyes big and round. She looks like a hurt innocent child that’s getting scolded and it aches your heart. The expression she wears on her face almost makes you want to tear up but you remain calm, reaching over to tuck the stray strands of hairs behind her ears. “Not every conversation is going to end in an argument, not if you and him promise to talk things out…”

“I guess” She mutters, letting out a soft sigh. “It’s whatever, it’s done”

“Do you want it to be done?”

The question makes Miwoo freeze. She’s unable to answer. She doesn’t know how to answer. Of course she doesn’t want to lose Jeno. Jeno has always been her number one, he’s been her person, he’s been the one that makes her shitty days calm… but he’s also the one that she has the most arguments with, that makes her feel like she’s going crazy.

She knows that she herself isn’t an angel. She knows that she definitely makes Jeno angry and says the wrong things, on purpose and on accident. We’re not good for each other, she thinks. It’s done.

Miwoo shrugs her shoulders again, not answering the question which makes you sigh again. You retract your hand from her face, letting it fall to your side. The side eye doesn’t go unnoticed but you don’t comment on it, allowing her to remain silent, waiting for her to be comfortable enough to speak up again.

“I…” She starts but immediately stops, her brows scrunching together in confusion.

“What?” You press. “What do you want to say?”

“I don’t.. I don’t really know” Miwoo mumbles as she leans back against your wall, bringing her knees up to her chest, chewing her bottom lip anxiously. “I guess…” She pulls a face, struggling to find the correct words to say while refusing to make any eye contact with you, keeping her attention focused on her nude coloured nails. “I guess I just… I feel alone, I think”

“Alone?”

“Yeah” Miwoo clears her throat. She holds her head up high this time and turns to you with one of the fakest smiles you’ve ever seen her wear. “But that’s why I’m here, that’s why I came to you… because you don’t make me feel that way”

You immediately reach over to wrap your arms around her and she yelps in surprise at your sudden movement but is quick to hug you back, hands gripping the back of your shirt. You squeeze her tight, tears burning your eyes at her confession. You’re proud of her, to say the least. You are aware of how that must’ve been to confess. It makes you happy knowing that she can be honest with you.

You rock back and forth awkwardly, and the giggles she lets out makes you smile. She rubs your back before being the first to pull away, eyes slightly red as she holds back her own tears.

She rubs at her nose aggressively and sniffs. Miwoo gasps. “Shouldn’t you go see Jaemin?”

You think about it, hard. You could go and see Jaemin, to tell him about your feelings, to tell him you’ve broken one of the biggest rules you could’ve broken. You could finally be honest with him and see if the feelings are reciprocated or if everything has always been one sided… but you won’t, not tonight.

You shake your head and Miwoo grins, repositioning herself on your bed and laying her head in your lap, looking up at you with the happiest of expressions. You smile back, running your fingers through the top of her hair and massaging her scalp, letting her relax into your embrace as she plans a girls night between the two of you, swinging her feet excitingly off the edge of your bed and you laugh, nodding your head as you agree along with her, even adding your own ideas and plans.

You never notice your phone lighting up on your desk with Jaemin’s name flickering across the screen.

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

[the yock aka yangyangs fat cock — groupchat]

yangyang: rumour has it eunbin is planning her own welcome home party

donghyuck: shes planning her own??? donghyuck: thats lame lol

jeno: who changed the fucking gc name again

yangyang: who do u think ;)

jeno: ive seen it its not that impressive dude

yangyang: fuck u saggy balls bitch [donghyuck laughed at this message] yangyang: anyway yangyang: eunbins planning her own welcome home party and apparently we’re invited

haru: who said that

yangyang: overheard eunbin say it to jaemin

miwoo: lol no [renjun liked this message] miwoo: thanks ren [renjun disliked this message]

jaemin: yeeun and mia are planning it with her. she invited us all to go

jeno: or did she just invite u

jaemin: its all of us jeno. its this saturday jaemin: told her im not giving the answer until all of us are going

shotaro: i dont really want to go :( its awkward

renjun: if shotaros not going, i'm not going

miwoo: why the fuck does she want all of us to go miwoo: her friends hate us

yangyang: correction yangyang: her friend hates u

miwoo: fuck off yangyang [donghyuck and yangyang thumbed down this message]

jeno: im not going fuck that jeno: i dont want to be anywhere near her jeno: u of all ppl should know that jaemin

jaemin: thats why i said im not giving the answer until all of us are going

donghyuck: i mean donghyuck: i dont like her at all donghyuck: but guys donghyuck: when have we EVER turned down a free party with free drink???

yangyang: he has a point [donghyuck loved this message] yangyang: eric and sunwoo are going too so yk sunwoo's got the good shit

miwoo: lol pretty miss perfect is letting sunwoo and eric go??? miwoo: does she know sunwoo sells

donghyuck: probably told him not to bring anything

you: like he'll listen

jaemin: are u gonna go baby

you: oh you: idk

yangyang: wait im not going if ur not going

jeno: me neither

miwoo: and me!!!

jaemin: ok then we're not going

donghyuck: BUT GUUUUUYYYYSSSS donghyuck: FREE BOOOOZE?!?!!

yangyang: :/ making me conflicted

shotaro: free drink does sound nice... shotaro: yeji just texted me to go with her too [everyone liked this message] shotaro: i would like to see her

haru: if we go haru: we go for shotaro?

donghyuck: and free booze

haru: for shotaro and free booze?

renjun: idm that

miwoo: sure

jeno: yn what do u think

yangyang: ?

you: yeah sure ok

donghyuck: fuck yeah donghyuck: ily guys donghyuck: gonna make out with u all brb

miwoo: dont come anywhere near me with ur disgusting stinky ass breath

donghyuck: im coming for u first whore

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

jaemin: baby?

you: oh hey you: :)

jaemin: hey :) jaemin: u didn't come over yesterday jaemin: what happened

you: oh yeah sorry you: i got busy. miwoo wanted a girls night

jaemin: oh ok thats cool

you: yeah

jaemin: why does this feel awkward

you: i have no idea you: maybe we haven't seen each other in awhile???? idk

jaemin: im sorry

you: its not ur fault :) ur busy

jaemin: still jaemin: i just feel bad jaemin: eunbin keeps coming over too when im in the middle of working or wanting to call u

you: she really wants to be on good terms with u huh

jaemin: seems like it jaemin: she dyed my hair btw

you: oh you: it was her that did it???

jaemin: well i dyed it first to surprise u but eunbin came over halfway through and touched it up to make it look good

you: to surprise me??

jaemin: yeah jaemin: i was gonna dye it then come surprise u but

you: i you: fjck you: i miss u

jaemin: i miss u too baby jaemin: im free saturday morning. can i come over before we go to eunbins

you: please you: also you: i have something to tell u

jaemin: me too

you: like its so serious its important

jaemin: thats ok baby mine too jaemin: i have to go. jenos calling for me jaemin: see u soon baby jaemin: <3

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

“You look unbelievable” You gush, mouth gaping wide as your fingers rake through his newly dyed blonde locks. Jaemin sits beneath you motionlessly, head resting against the headboard of your bed as he looks up at you with the most goofiest smile as he relishes in the way you touch him, his own hands resting on your hips, sliding his fingers beneath the material of your skirt to grip your skin.

He came over a few hours prior to Eunbin’s party, much to your surprise, adored in a hoodie and beanie, a backpack resting on his back with clothes he would be needing tonight. He swept you off your feet before you could even react at his arrival, carrying you to the privacy of your room as the pair of you shared a laugh, ignoring the looks Haru and Miwoo gave you as you disappeared.

So that’s how you ended up here, sitting on top of his lap, giving him the best of your attention with your eyes locked on his blonde hair, beanie and hoodie thrown to the side without care.

He looks so handsome. You smile, twirling the strands between your fingers. Jaemin doesn’t say a word while you mutter a hundred compliments, watching you with affectionate eyes and that goofy smile you love so much, sliding his hands around your hips to push against your back, bringing you as close to his chest as possible.

He cuts off your babbling soon enough, crushing his mouth against yours in a long awaited kiss. You melt into his embrace, fingers gripping the roots of his hair, afraid he’d slip away or leave again. You haven’t felt his touch nor his lips in so long you almost forgot what it was like. Your heads fuzzy, your skin hot. You missed this.

Jaemin lets out a groan as your tongue slides against his and your grip on his hair becomes harsher. You’re tugging, you’re pulling and his scalp is burning but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t even try to stop you, instead he tugs you closer, teeth snagging down on your bottom lip which you wince at.

“Sorry” He mutters apologies against your mouth and you shake your head, pulling at his bottom lip instead and sucking it. He quietly moans this time, shifting beneath you and heat pools between your legs as you feel the bulge brush against your ass. You pull away from the kiss to toy with the strings on his sweatpants but his hands are quick to latch on your wrist, stopping you.

You look at him in surprise. “What’s wrong?”

Jaemin breathes heavily as he looks at you, lips swollen and red. “I would do anything to fuck you right now, but we can’t”

“Why?” You ask, almost whining. You twist your wrists in his grasp, interlocking your fingers together instead. “We can be quick”

Jaemin hums, squeezing your hands with his, his thumb soothing over the back of your hand while a sly grin. “We could… but I wouldn’t want to be quick, I’d want to fuck you all night, make up for lost time”

“Don’t” You warn him, glaring jokingly. “You can’t say shit like that if we can’t have sex right now, it’s not fair”

“Sorry, baby” He chuckles, leaning forwards to capture your lips with his. You kiss for a few more moments but you part before you allow yourself to get too far into it, going to move off of his lap but he whines, ripping his hands from yours to grip your waist, keeping you on top of him.

Rolling your eyes, you remain still, staring at his face. He’s so pretty. The corner of your lips twitch, cheeks feeling hot as you duck your head, becoming too shy to look at him. Would now be a good time to tell him? Your heart hammers in your chest at the thought and you wonder if he can feel it. You’re alone, there’s no interruptions.

“I really missed you” He confesses quietly. Okay, maybe one interruption. One hand pushes the hair out of your face, cupping your cheeks as he smiles. “Like really missed you”

“I missed you too” You tell him, leaning into his touch.

“I’m sorry that we haven’t seen each other too” Jaemin frowns this time, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “I didn’t realise how long we didn’t see each other until—”

“It’s okay” You interrupt, shaking your head. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, it’s okay”

Jaemin nods, kissing your lips once more before securing his arms around your waist, drumming his fingers against your back. He’s thankful to you, he always has been. He loves how comfortable you make him and how understanding you constantly are. It makes his cheeks flush at the thought of how lucky he is.

“What are you looking at?” You ask him after a moment of silence, brows pulling together curiously. Jaemin blinks as he’s ripped from his thoughts, still staring at you. It takes a few seconds to register in his mind what you had asked and a smile slowly spreads across his lips, soft and genuine, one that makes your heart flutter in your chest.

“You, baby… always you”

You snort at that, jabbing at his shoulder. “What’s gotten into you? Huh? Cheesy fucker”

“What?” Jaemin laughs, rubbing at the spot you jabbed. “I’m not cheesy”

“Oh yeah?” You quirk a brow, crossing your arms over your chest. “You’re telling me that what you just said wasn’t cheesy?”

“What did I say?”

“‘You, baby… always you’” You repeat, deepening your voice to match his. His lips quirk in an amused smile as he shakes his head, claiming how that wasn’t the cheesiest thing he’s ever said. You fake retch, pulling yourself out of his grasp despite his attempts to keep you in his arms, laughing as you walk over to your closet away from him.

He lays down on the bed, tucking his arm under your pillow as he watches you on the other side of the room, flicking through the clothes with a sigh. His eyes wide in surprise as you pull out a black mini skirt from a clothing hanger, holding it on your arm while searching for something to wear it with.

You piece it together with a white bustier top and grin happily, making a mental note in your head to wear your best jewellery and a jacket as you walk back over to Jaemin to set it down on your bed beside his feet neatly. The way you stare so proudly at such a simple outfit makes Jaemin smile, loving how easily pleased you can become with such the smallest of things. Cute.

You both decide to take a shower together, helping each other wash and even sharing a few lingering kisses and touches, the two of you trying your hardest not to do anything inappropriate for the time being despite the urge to.

Later, he promises you and you hold him to that promise, locking your pinkies together before you slip out of the shower while Jaemin stays behind, allowing you to have the time to do your makeup without him standing behind you and questioning everything that you’re doing.

Miwoo, being the expert that she is, comes back and forth between your room and hers to help you with your makeup, cursing at you for moving too much when she uses the eyeliner and forcefully holding your chin in her hand, daring you to talk as she applies your lipstick.

“Haru told me what happened” Miwoo informs before instructing you to rub your lips together which you do. She twists the cap back on the lipstick as she admires her work on your face. “Have you told him yet?”

Your eyes flitter over to your bedroom door in alarm, scared that Jaemin might somehow overhear the conversation over the running water. You shake your head, turning to look at your reflection in the mirror to slightly push up your lashes.

“And why not?” Miwoo crosses her arms over her chest tightly. “Dude, just tell him!!! The feelings could be mutual and—”

“Will you keep your voice down?!” You hiss, waving your hands erratically to shut her up the second you hear the water turn off. You lower your voice. “I’ll tell him… I just need to find the right moment”

“There will never be a right moment” Miwoo says, dropping her arms to her side as she leans down to smooch your cheek. She brushes her lips against your ear to whisper just as Jaemin walks into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. “Just rip the band-aid off and suck his cock”

You whack her arm repeatedly, cursing her out as she giggles and runs out of your room, not forgetting to slap Jaemin’s bare chest on the way out. Jaemin grunts at the impact, rubbing the sore spot on his chest, glaring at Miwoo’s figure as she rushes out of the room in a laughing fit.

“What was that about?” Jaemin asks as he stands beside you, reaching for his phone off of your desk. He looks at you as he does so, taking in your appearance. He reaches out to gently caress your face, careful not to smudge the lipstick as he presses a chaste kiss to your lips. “You look pretty”

You think about his question for a moment and Miwoo’s words. There will never be a right moment. You chew on the inside of your cheek, nerves tingle through your body and your anxiety spikes, fingertips feeling numb. Rip the band-aid off. It’s so easily done, all you have to do is say those three words.

But you can’t. There’s something forcing you back from saying what you truly want to tell him for reasons unknown, you can’t voice the words that are literally sitting at the tip of your tongue.

So, you dismiss it, muttering under your breath how it’s nothing important and Jaemin stares at you with an odd look in his eyes before dropping the conversation, turning his attention to his phone as he scrolls through his spotify, choosing a playlist for the two of you to listen to while you sit still, annoyed and confused at yourself.

It is important… So why can’t you say it?

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

You eye your reflection in the mirror, patting down the creases in your skirt with a sigh and adjusting your top. Jaemin stands behind you with your necklace in hand, helping you clasp the jewellery around your neck securely. He presses a chaste kiss to your shoulder blade when he’s done, reassuring you as feels your anxiety about your appearance and you calm down, sucking in a deep breath.

The commotion you hear in the living room tells you that the others have arrived and Jaemin hands you his leather jacket to which you’re confused about but you don’t question it as you slip your arms through the sleeves. He leads you out of your bedroom, his hand placing your lower back as he guides you down the hallway, the voices of your friends getting louder as you get near.

“Look at you…” Yangyang low whistles as he watches you and Jaemin approach them, reaching out to take your hand in his own to slowly spin you around, biting his lip as he scans your outfit. You roll your eyes as you twirl, fighting back a smile as Donghyuck cups his hand over his mouth and hollers behind him. Yangyang wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Sexy”

“Shut up” You laugh, ripping your hand from his grasp to push at his shoulder and all he does is grin widely and reach for you again but stops when an arm slithers around your waist, a hand resting low on your abdomen as you’re pulled into Jaemin’s side.

Jaemin’s eyes bore right into Yangyang’s and the latter doesn’t falter, holding his gaze with a smirk that Jaemin desperately wants to slap off. Thoughts overcrowd Jaemin’s mind, thoughts that make no sense… thoughts that make a lot of sense. His eyes narrow at Yangyang who now takes no notice, his attention brought to Miwoo who’s eager to take a group picture to post on her instagram, earning a huff from Renjun.

Jaemin takes a mental step back, blinking a few times to compose himself as the group huddles together, giving Yangyang one last look as he stands on your left before smiling at Miwoo’s phone who takes the picture, and other, and other, and anoth—

“Are you fucking serious?!”

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

You’re stunned at the sight of Eunbin’s home, unable to shut your mouth as Jaemin leads you through the house as if it's second nature to him. The walls are white, decorated with paintings you are positive Eunbin had made previously, a little but noticeable signature of ‘K.E’ scribbled at the edge of the frame. Fancy light bulbs suspend from the ceiling, laminate flooring clean with no scratch or chip insight. A few people linger around in the living room and the kitchen, giving you the impression that it was going to be a small little welcome party until Jaemin guides you out in the back garden.

It’s crowded, filled with a mixture of familiar and unfamiliar faces, all spread across the neatly trimmed grass and there’s music blasting from a speaker that you fail to locate. Tall white fences hide you from the outside, decorated with pretty vines, hanging plants and fairy lights. There are rounded tables littered all over the garden holding various types of alcoholic beverages that are occupied by most of the party goers and there’s daybeds that are already taken by drunk couples and friends.

Miwoo makes a small comment about how wealthy Eunbin and her family must be before she whisks away to get a drink, dragging Haru along with her and Renjun falls behind, hands shoved deep into his pockets. Shotaro excuses himself from the group to jog over to Yeji who calls him over excitedly, handing him a beer bottle.

Donghyuck, Yangyang and Jeno disappear somewhere as soon as you spot Eunbin standing with Yeeun and Mia around a table, smiling and laughing along in the conversation until her eyes meet yours. She beams, excusing herself from her friends as she bounds over to the two of you.

“Hey!! I’m glad you could make it!!” Eunbin greets you happily, wrapping you up in the warmest of hugs and your eyes widen in shock, not expecting this type of greeting but you immediately reciprocate the hug, the corner of your lips lifting into a smile. She pulls away soon after, giving you a grin before turning to Jaemin, engulfing him in a tight hug to which he lets go of your hand to slowly wrap his arms around her, kindly hugging her back.

You stand at his side awkwardly, looking anywhere but them. You can hear them conversate: something about her, something about the party. Did Eunbin call him handsome? Is Jaemin complimenting her appearance? Your lips form into a frown, unable to control your expressions as you listen to them.

Side eyeing the pair, you notice Eunbin’s hands are still lingering on Jaemin while he smiles down at her, nodding and humming to the things that she’s saying, the two completely forgetting you’re present. Your shoulders slump as your sigh, alreading wanting to disappear from this party and go home but a low whistle and a call of your name catches your attention.

You turn to look over your shoulder, seeing Sunwoo standing at a table nearest to you by himself, hands hiding beneath the table as his fingers expertly roll a blunt. You glance back at Eunbin and Jaemin, seeing the pair in their own little world, figuring it was best to leave them to it as you head over to Sunwoo who seems surprised that you even decided to come over.

“You look pretty” He compliments you, taking in your outfit of the night. His lips quirk into a sly grin. “I’ve seen that skirt a few times”

“Yeah, whatever” You grumble, reaching for the vacant shot glass beside him, not even caring whose it was as you throw your head back and down the colourful liquid, scrunching your face at the burn that trickles down the back of your throat. “Guessing you’re selling secretly tonight?”

“I’ve got to make money somehow” Sunwoo tells you, taking a quick glance down at his hands before looking over at Jaemin and Eunbin. “Pretty boy not giving you attention tonight, huh?”

“You’re extra nosy tonight, huh?” You mock.

Sunwoo smiles at that. “I’m just observant”

“What’s going on between you and Miwoo?” You suddenly pop a question and Sunwoo cocks his head to the side, brows scrunched in confusion. “Saw the comment on her instagram… I’m just observant too”

Sunwoo makes a humming noise, a smile playing on his lips as he sneakily drops a joint into a little baggy that's already filled with premades before shoving it into his puffer coat pocket. He looks down at you innocently, grabbing a beer bottle from the ice bucket resting in the middle of the table and offers it to you.

You scoff but you nod, going to take it off of him but he cracks open the cap with his teeth, spitting it onto the grass without a care in the world as he hands it to you, reaching to grab his own and doing the exact same.

“You called her pretty” You say as you bring the bottle to your lips, taking a swig.

“That doesn’t mean anything” Sunwoo smiles, clinking his bottle against yours as he drinks. He swallows harshly, tongue licking the corners of his lips. “I call you pretty”

“That’s different” You shake your head, scanning around the garden to try and find Miwoo, spotting her by another table laughing with Haru and Renjun. “Did you know she broke up with Jeno? Is that why you’re calling her pretty? Trying to get into her pants or something?”

Sunwoo chuckles. “No”

“Then what is it?” You pry, snapping your head back to Sunwoo as you squint your eyes in suspicion. “Why are you suddenly complimenting her on her posts?”

“I appreciate good looks” Sunwoo shrugs his shoulders, the stupid smile still on his lips. “But, if you must know, she came to me a few days ago asking if she could, and I quote, have a ‘happy pill’. I asked her why and she said the reason is in the name… I told her I wouldn’t give her it unless you were there”

“Oh” You mutter, suddenly feeling terrible. Your chest feels heavy but you take a few heavy gulps of your beer, not meeting Sunwoo’s eyes as he stares right at you.

“Guessing she’s taking the breakup pretty hard?”

“Guess so” You nod, awkwardly rubbing the back of your neck as you spot Jeno from across the garden, standing alone as he chugs his own beer. “I think they both are”

“Why did we stop being friends?” The sudden change in topics almost gives you whiplash and you turn to look at Sunwoo in surprise, noticing that his hands are hidden beneath the table again, probably rolling another joint or fiddling with a baggy.

“Are you high?” Your tone is pretty harsh and mean, but he doesn’t react to it. “You know why we stopped being friends”

“What Eric did had nothing to do with me” Sunwoo tells you, shrugging his shoulders. “Eric was the one that got too overwhelmed in the relationship and decided to be a dick and break up with you, not me”

You blink in surprise. “Overwhel—”

“You should talk to him about it” Sunwoo takes a swig. “You don’t have to forgive him or anything, but I think you should talk to him about what happened. Closure, if you will”

“I hate closure” You grit through your teeth, chugging the rest of your beer down and slamming the empty bottle on the table. Sunwoo smiles as he watches you, finding your reactions and expressions amusing which you catch onto. “Glad you find me amusing”

“I just like how you’re still the same person you were months ago” He shrugs his shoulders. “I like talking to you, it reminds me of the good times. I miss our friendship. Just wish you didn’t shut me out when I had done nothing wrong”

You hate how right he is and you hate how guilty you feel. You did shut him out, you did refuse to be around him or speak to him because of Eric. Pushing everything aside, you had good memories with Sunwoo. He was your best friend before you even got close to the others.

You feel the urge to apologise when you meet Sunwoo’s eyes, opening your mouth to give him a mere pathetic apology that he shouldn’t even forgive but you’re interrupted by his own voice.

“You two look good, you know” He states, jutting his chin in the direction behind you as he finishes sneakily rolling another joint. “You and Na. Never expected it, but you look good together. Do you like him?”

“Why?” You can’t help but ask.

“Curious” He smiles softly. “Nice seeing you happy though. Your smile has always been the prettiest”

“Are you flirting with me right now?”

His smile turns into a grin as he shakes his head. “Just appreciating good looks” You roll your eyes at the same excuse he used earlier, pressing your lips together as you try not to let out an amused laugh. Sunwoo likes the fact you’re having fun with him. “If you like him, you should tell him. I can tell he likes you”

Your tongue presses against your cheek as you smile. “Is that an observation?”

He winks at you. “You know it” His eyes flicker behind you. “He’s leaving Eunbin, by the way. You should follow him. Tell him you like him”

“It’s weird hearing you say shit like that” You pull a face, but you can’t help agreeing with his words. You excuse yourself from Sunwoo and he wiggles his fingers at you in a goodbye, watching you walk away with his chin resting on his hand, a genuine smile playing on his lips.

It’s your mission to follow Jaemin. It’s your mission to tell him how you feel. You steal a shot from a table you pass by, downing the drink and slamming the glass back down on the table as you continue walking, wiping the corner of your lips with the back of your hand. Liquid courage, you think. Definitely needed liquid courage.

Jaemin turns on his heel, heading into a sea of people coming out of the house and as soon as reach out to graze his back, opening your mouth to call out his name, you already hear someone call out yours. You falter in your steps, craning your neck over your shoulder to see Eunbin heading straight towards you and your feet come to a stop, glued to the grass beneath you.

“I’m sorry if this is sudden but can I talk to you for, like, a few minutes?” Eunbin asks you as she steps in front of you, a gentle touch being placed on your arm. You want to say no, to tell her that you’re on a mission to find Jaemin and to tell him everything… but her pleading eyes start to slowly hold you back. “I won’t take much of your time, I promise”

“Okay, yeah, sure” You nod, swallowing harshly and allowing her to pull you into a more secluded area in her garden, a gazebo covered in small potted plants and pretty little fairy lights. You’re in awe at the sight, fingers grazing over the wood as she urges you to sit down on the cushioned seats in front of the firepit. She settles down right beside you when you get seated, sending you a nervous smile that you immediately give back.

The silence that takes over you both is deafening, despite the noise coming from the others at the party but you drown it out as you take this chance to really look at her. Eunbin’s stunning in her short white summer dress, her eyelids covered in the shiniest of glitters and her lips tinted a faint red. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders in small waves, almost covering the priceless jewellery in her ears.

The bright and kind aura she has around herself is enough to make a small smile appear on your face. You can’t hate her, even though you try so desperately to out of pure jealousy. You can’t dislike her either, she hasn’t done anything to you, she's been nothing but sweet since you’ve met her.

And you can’t cry… even when you see the ring that wraps around her middle finger.

“That’s gorgeous” You force your voice out, gesturing to the ring with shaky hands. “Where did you get it?”

“Oh, this has always been mine” Eunbin smiles softly as she holds out her hand towards you, allowing you to take a good look at the dainty silver ring with the black jewel in the middle. “When I got accepted into New York, I left it here for Jaemin… He bought it for me but it was just a little something for him to remember me while I was gone, just to let him know that I will always be thinking about him and that I love him”

“Oh” You breathe out, eyes unmoving from the jewellery. “It’s pretty special then…”

Eunbin nods, staring down at her ring with rosy cheeks. “It is special. I asked him a few days ago if he kept it but he took it out of his drawer and gave it back. I was kinda relieved, to be honest… I thought he would’ve thrown it out after what happened. Did he tell you what happened?”

“Yeah” You tell her, nodding your head.

“I seem like a really shitty person, don’t I?” Eunbin winces, waiting for your reaction but you’re blank, unsure of what to say or even how to react. She clears her throat, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Not that it matters anymore, but from my side, I didn’t think it was that bad… and I guess that made it worse, right?”

“What went through your mind when it happened?”

“I’ve always had this mindset of: follow your dreams and don’t let anyone or anything stop you, true friends and family will always be supportive no matter what choice you make” Her words instantly make you think of Yuta’s. “Jaemin was supportive, he was my number one supporter. He stayed by my side countless of nights when I had deadlines to finish, he helped me find inspiration whenever I felt like I was crumbling, he gave me his shoulder to cry on when I was stressed and he made me feel better”

Your chest tightens as you hear her voice crack, noticing the way she refuses to look at you now, eyes glassy as they stare at the firepit.

“It was my fault for not telling him that the art school I applied for was in New York, but I guess I assumed he would know… I mean, come on, when have you ever heard of big art schools being here?” Eunbin laughs at herself quietly, fiddling with her hands in her lap. “I know I hurt him and I feel awful for it. I’ve apologised so much but I know sometimes apologies aren’t enough… I don’t regret going to that art school, I never will… I just regret hurting someone I love in the process, you know?”

“Yeah, I know” You nod, refusing to meet her eyes this time as she looks at you. I just regret hurting someone I love. The words repeat in your mind, heart feeling like it's twisting painfully in your chest. It makes you feel sick and your throat gets tighter. Maybe the liquid courage wasn’t a good thing.

“Hey, Y/N?” You hum, giving her your attention. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but…” She pauses, nervously playing with the hem of her dress and you start to feel your own nerves kick in, subtly scratching the skin around your thumb to try and calm yourself down, to remind yourself where you are and who you’re with. Eunbin meets your eyes, pushing her hair behind her ears. “What’s exactly going on between you and Jaemin?”

“What?” You choke out, covering your mouth as you cough when your saliva gets stuck at the back of your throat. Out of all the questions, you didn’t expect her to ask that. You’re reminded of your first awkward interaction at Jaemin’s house when Jaemin blurted out how you were exclusively sleeping together and the surprised look on Eunbin’s face. She knows that much… But what else is there to tell her?

“I’m sorry if it’s an awkward question, especially coming from me” She apologises, kindly patting your back as you try to clear your throat. “I know that you’re exclusive fuck buddies, if thats whats going through your head right now, but I just… I wanted to know if it was more than that or if it’s just that”

“Oh” Your clamming hands rub at your legs, definitely feeling more awkward and embarrassed now. Your whole body feels hot and you struggle to look straight at her, deciding to keep focused on the plants behind her as you try and muster up the courage to tell her that you like him.

“I just…” Eunbin starts to explain herself but she sighs, dropping her hands to her sides.“The thing is, the art school is over, which means I’ll be staying home for a little while until I eventually decide to move out to New York with my own money. Being here, seeing Jaemin again and having the opportunity to be his friend again just brings back so many memories and, I feel like an asshole saying this, but I still love him… my feelings haven’t really changed since day one and now that I’m back, I would just like a second opportunity, you know? I want to make up for lost time and be the girlfriend I should’ve been… but I’m not going to do that and I will step back if the relationship you have with him is more than just fucking, I promise”

“I-I—” You stammer, struggling to find your voice.

“I see the way you look at him” She confesses, giving you a kind smile, complete understanding in her eyes. “It’s how I look at him… So, please be honest with me and I’ll step back, I promise. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable”

But you already have. You’re so stuck, completely unable to give her a response as you stare at her in shock. She still loves him, she has always loved him, things really never changed. You shakily push your hair away from your eyes, trying to control your breathing which has started to get uneven.

You like Jaemin and you don’t want to lose him. You want to be selfish, you want to keep him for yourself. You want to blurt out all of your feelings and emotions to Eunbin, hoping she would understand why you didn’t want to stop what you have with Jaemin.

You feel angry, you feel hurt… but you feel guilty. There’s a voice in the back of your head telling you to feel guilty for taking Jaemin away from Eunbin, for being the thorn in their side and shoving yourself between their relationship even though in the back of your mind that’s not the case at all… but when she’s looking at you the way she is, eyes full of hope and silent pleads, you already know what your answer is.

“There’s no feelings involved, we made rules. We’re just fucking, that’s all it is… But it’s over now… he’s yours”

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

You look pathetic, sitting by yourself in the gazebo with your fifth drink in hand, vision a little dazey and body swaying side to side as your lips wrap around the bottle, gulping the harsh liquid as fast as you can.

You didn’t move from your place after your conversation with Eunbin, feeling too embarrassed about getting up and leaving so you let Eunbin be the one to dismiss herself first, allowing her to give you a hug goodbye before leaving. You regret lying about your feelings, eagerly wanting to turn back time and tell her the truth but you know you’d look stupid, especially if you find out Jaemin never reciprocated the feelings, which possibly is the case considering he’s been spending so much time with Eunbin instead of you.

Your thoughts get nasty and you hate it, immediately trying to push them to the back of your mind as you take a swig of your drink, legs anxiously jiggling as you observe your friends from a distance. Haru and Renjun are sitting together, knees knocking against each other and drinking out of their bottles, deep in a conversation that makes Renjun’s cheeks flush every so often. You wonder what they’re talking about.

Shotaro’s with Yeji, listening attentively as she speaks, nodding and agreeing along with the biggest heart eyes you’ve ever seen, his fingers wrapped nervously around his beer but you manage to catch Yeji shifting closer, slipping her fingers between his to hold his hand. You dizzily grin at the way Shotaro shyly casts his eyes down to his shoes, cheeks rosy and red.

Donghyuck and Yangyang stand not too far from the pair, both clearly drunk as they send flirtatious winks and thumbs up Shotaro’s way, cheering him on. Yangyang’s a lot sober than Donghyuck is, the latter seeming to be slurring his words and struggling to hold himself up on his own two feet which sends Yangyang into a laughing fit, almost crumbling to the ground under Donghyuck’s weight when he throws himself at him.

Miwoo, much to your surprise, mingles with a bunch of girls that you recognise from campus, talking about something as she passionately throws her arms up in the air and the girls nods frantically, seeming to be relating to whatever she’s saying before clinking their glasses together and taking the shot.

Your eyes somehow find the pair you didn’t exactly want to see in the midst of people, but you can’t seem to tear away from them, watching Eunbin cling to Jaemin’s arm with the brightest of smiles on her face, staring up at his with her big doe eyes that would make anyone waver. The smile on his face is kind and you fail to understand the words that he’s mouthing to her, but the twinkle in her eyes prove it was something that meant the world to her.

You manage to rip your gaze away too quickly to notice Jaemin glance around the party, a look of worry in his features as he tries to look for someone in the crowd, hands nervously twitching at his sides. Eunbin, mistaking him being cold, thoughtfully rubs at his arms, questioning if he would like to borrow a warmer coat which he declines, taking one last look around before giving her his attention.

Abruptly standing up from your seat, you decide to get another drink. You trip over your own feet as you walk, mentally cursing at yourself for wearing heels and even blaming the grassy ground that makes your journey a lot more difficult, trying to balance yourself and walk in a straight line as you head for a vacant table.

“Should you be drinking this much?” Someone questions and your head whips to the side, seeing Jeno standing to your right, watching you struggle.

“It’s not the drink. It’s these stupid fucking heels” You grumble angrily under your breath, almost tripping over your own feet again as you stumble on the grass. Jeno smiles in amusement, swiftly reaching forwards to wrap his fingers around your upper arm to keep you steady and you thank him when his arm slips around your waist, holding most of your weight off of your feet. You smile happily, throwing your arm over his shoulders. “You’re the best”

Jeno grins cheekily at you. “I know”

He leads you both to the table, trying his hardest not to snort at the way you try and walk despite him holding you up. Your curse him out, bumping your hips against his but you can’t help but laugh either, knowing that you probably look so tipsy and stupid.

You untangle yourself from Jeno the second you reach the drinks, leaning your weight on the table as you grab two beer bottles from the ice bucket and you peer inside, surprised at the amount of ice cubes that still haven’t melted, wondering if it’s actually cold outside or if you’ve drunk so much that you’re permanently boiling for the night.

“Why are you alone?” Jeno asks you as he cracks the bottle open with his teeth, throwing the cap back into the bucket. He offers to do the same for yours and you let him.

“Take a wild guess” He rolls his eyes immediately at your answer, already figuring out why you’re not with Jaemin and he doesn’t press further, handing you your beer back with a scowl and harshly chugging his drink. “Why are you alone?”

“I’m not really in the mood for this party” Jeno admits, wiping the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand. “I would love to be anywhere but here right now, I hate it”

“You and me both” You sigh, pushing your hair back out of your face as you take a swig. “I spoke to her earlier, alone”

“Yeah?” He quirks a brow. “How did that go?”

“Fine”

Jeno scoffs. “Liar”

Despite the fact that you are lying, your mouth opens in shock, deeply offended that he doesn’t believe you and is calling you a liar to your face. You flip him off while you drink and Jeno grins at you but he doesn’t pressure you into speaking about the conversation, waiting to see if you’ll talk about it yourself.

But you never do, which makes Jeno worried. He can tell by your facial expressions and the way you’re chugging beers after beers that the talk you had with Eunbin wasn’t as ‘fine’ as you made it out to be. Something clearly happened and as much as Jeno wants to ask and make sure you’re okay, he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

He watches you carefully, seeing the way you glance over your shoulder at the crowds of people, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. He sees the way your fingers shake around the neck of the bottle, almost spilling it but you subconsciously place it down on the table, intertwining your fingers together to calm you down. Something’s definitely wrong, Jeno thinks, frowning.

“She looks gorgeous… doesn’t she?” You whisper quietly, locked on Eunbin who’s now standing with her friends, Jaemin nowhere in sight as she talks with the most beautiful smile on her face, eyes twinkling beneath the fairy lights, her perfect white dress left untouched much to your surprise.

He makes a disgruntled noise beside you, swallowing down his beer. “I think you’re prettier”

You chuckle softly, rolling your eyes as you nervously play with the jewellery on your fingers. “Thanks, Jeno”

“Don’t compare yourself to her” You’re startled at the tone of his voice, turning to face Jeno with wide eyes. He looks straight at you, expression harsh and serious. “Don’t ever compare yourself to her. You’re a lot better than she is, than she will ever be”

You cast your eyes downwards. “You’re just saying that because you don’t like her…”

“I’m saying it because it’s true”

No matter how hard you try, you don’t believe his words, you can’t believe his words. The insecurity that you feel whenever she’s mentioned or whenever you see her, whether it’s in person or a photograph, is like no other. The confidence that you have disintegrates, withering away and leaving you in a puddle of pure self doubt and anxiety.

It’s strange, you think. She’s done nothing to you, nothing physical or mental, yet she makes you feel the way you do… just by existing. It’s so stupid, you’re so stupid.

Your hand shoots out to grab your drink, desperate to chug down the alcohol and forget but Jeno reaches out, fingers clasping around your wrist. You meet his gaze and he shakes his head, silently telling you not to drink anymore, to not do this to yourself but you ignore him, using your free hand to grab the bottle instead but he’s too quick for you, snatching yours with his.

“Are you really going to stop me from drinking at a party?”

“Maybe” He answers, tilting his head to the side as he eyes you. “Are you really going to compare yourself to her again?”

You fight back a smile, almost losing as you notice Jeno do the same, giving your hands a squeeze before letting you go. You bring the beer to your lips, keeping your eyes locked on Jeno’s as you take a sip and he rolls his eyes, tongue poking at his cheek as he chuckles.

The happy expression on his face soon withers away as he glances behind you, turning stoic as he picks up his beer, averting his attention to the crowd and you go to question his sudden change in attitude until you see the speck of white in the corner of your eyes. Your blood runs cold, the sickly feeling piling up in the back of your throat, body instantly caving in on itself as your arms wrap around your middle.

“Hey” Eunbin beams at the two of you, staggering to the side a little but she catches herself by placing her palms on the table. She laughs at herself, cheeks a little red from the amount of alcohol she’s consumed. “I’m happy you guys are still here! Are you having fun?”

“Very” You give her a tight lipped smile. “Thank you for inviting us”

“You don’t have to thank me” She giggles, placing your hand on your shoulder to give you a comforting squeeze but she sways again, gripping a little hard for some stability and you wince slightly at the contact but you don’t make a noise. Eunbin turns her head towards Jeno, smiling kindly at him but he refuses to give her his attention. “Nice to finally see you, Jeno. I was starting to think you were purposely ignoring me…”

“I am” Jeno nods, his answer short and simple, still looking away from him.

Eunbin reaches out to pat his arm in hopes to get his attention. “Jen—”

“Don’t touch me” Jeno says the second he feels the slightest brush of her fingers on his bicep. His tone is harsh and scary, and the expression on his face is enough to make the hairs stand up at the back of your neck. “Don’t fucking touch me”

“What is your problem with me?” She questions, frowning deeply. Her eyes turn glassy and it looks like she’s going to cry, whether it’s because she genuinely feels hurt by how Jeno’s reacting or if she had drunk so much that her emotions are all over the place. “You always act cold towards me even though I’ve done nothing wrong—”

She’s cut off by Jeno’s dry laugh, watching as he shakes his head while tipping it back to chug down the rest of his drink. The interaction between the two is awkward and you’re desperate to walk away but you know Jeno wouldn’t appreciate it if you left him alone, especially now.

Eunbin sighs. “Can you please just tell me what the problem is?”

“It’s you” Jeno immediately answers, finally turning his head to face her and she flinches at the abrupt movement. His dark eyes bore into hers, unwavering as he stares her down. “It’ll always be you”

“Jen—”

“Go back to pretending everything’s okay” He cuts her off again, still remaining eye contact before he makes the first move to look away, gazing out into the crowd. “You’re good at that”

Brutal. You blink, looking down at your half empty beer bottle, refusing to look at the two as the awkward tension rises. Eunbin doesn’t move, hurt written all over her features and you can tell she wants to bite back but she can’t.

You feel bad for her, especially when she sucks at her lips, tears brimming in her eyes which she tries to blink away. She hangs her head low, turning on her heel and walking away without another word. You face Jeno with a frown and you go to say something about how harsh he acted but you notice the way his fists clench at his sides, jaw tense.

“Was that your first time speaking to her since she came back?” You ask softly and he nods his head, scratching at the back of his neck. He seems uncomfortable, which you hate to see. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine—”

“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”

You and Jeno jerk up at the sound of chanting, seeing groups and groups of people eagerly running to the middle of the garden where a crowd forms. Your brows pull together in confusion, trying to peer over their heads as best as you possibly could from your spot and Jeno does the same, standing on his tiptoes.

A bad feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you see Jaemin rush into the mass of people and you take a few steps forward, Jeno hot on your tail as you push through the bodies. Jeno curses, forcing people to move out of the way as they bump into you both, too amped up and excited to see the fight.

The palm of your hand slaps over your mouth in complete shock at what you witness when you manage to barge your way to the front, seeing Hyunjin get attacked by Donghyuck who pummels his fist down on top of his head and Shotaro hold his nose that gushes out with blood.

Yeji stands at his side, fear and shock written all over her face and Haru stands at his other, swatting his hand away and tipping his head back to help stop the blood. Renjun fumes behind them, chest heaving up and down as he evilly glares at Hyunjin who’s still fighting against Donghyuck.

Jeno’s quick to react, jumping into the chaos and yanking Donghyuck back by his shirt, yelling at him to calm down but Donghyuck refuses to listen, spitting profanities and evil threats Hyunjin’s way. Your eyes flicker to the side to see Jaemin holding back Yangyang who looks furious, knuckles bruises and a cut forming on the corner of his lip, hair dishevelled.

You quickly rush over to Shotaro, coming to his aid and pulling a few tissues out of Haru’s purse, holding them to his nose. He keeps apologising, for a reason you’re not too sure, but you shake your head, telling him to be quiet and to slow down his heavy breathing.

Haru glances between Shotaro and Renjun, knocking his side to get his attention and Renjun looks down at her, the two silently communicating.

You turn your head to Yeji. “What the hell happened?”

“I-I-I don’t know” She stutters, voice wavering and body shaking. “Me and Shotaro were dancing and Hyunjin just hit him”

“Shotaro kissed her and Hyunjin saw. He got angry about it so he punched Shotaro across the face” Haru informs you fully and you immediately spin around, glaring at Hyunjin. He rolls his eyes when you all look at him, wiping the blood from the cut on his eyebrow, letting out a laugh.

“He kissed her in front of me” Hyunjin tells you, wincing as he touches a different wound on his nose. “That little bitch did it on purpose—”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Donghyuck hisses, lunging for Hyunjin again but Jeno stops him, forcefully holding him back and demanding him to calm down despite how angry he was himself. He didn’t want to cause anymore trouble, not tonight anyways.

Hyunjin finds it amusing that Donghyuck and Yangyang are both being held back by others who so desperately want to step in and punch him. Felix, who has been desperately trying to tug Hyunjin away from the situation and begging for him to be quiet, shakes his head at Hyunjin’s behaviour, nervously gnawing down on his bottom lip as he Hyunjin points at Donghyuck and Yangyang while laughing loudly, seeming to go make a comment about Shotaro too but it never comes, he’s quiet.

Especially when he’s clipped across the face by Miwoo’s hand.

The crowd dies down, some ‘oohing and ‘ahhing’. Hyunjin cradles the side of his raw cheek, completely stunned at the action and Miwoo blankly looks at him, unbothered.

“Come on, laugh” Miwoo urges him. “It’s funny, right? Laugh. Do it” She raises her brow expectantly, putting her hands on her hips. “Want me to do it again? So we can both laugh together?”

She lifts her hand to strike again but Hyunjin steps back out of her aim, shaking his head quickly, face reddening in embarrassment. Miwoo scoffs, dropping her hand to her side with a tut, not happy with the way Hyunjin’s reaction.

“Pathetic” She sighs. “Boys”

“He’s not going to hit a girl, you freak” A voice states from the crowd, a familiar one, a female. You fight the urge to roll your eyes as you recognise its Yeeun and you turn to look at Haru who looks done with the whole situation, mumbling how it’s time for all of you to leave which you couldn’t agree more.

“I don’t mind” Miwoo grins almost manically. “Come on… you guys wanted a fight, didn’t you? Don’t tell me you’re taking back your words because a girl wants to join in on the fun… or is it the fact that you’re going to go up against someone who is actually going to hit back?”

The crowd is even more silent at that, knowing exactly what she’s talking about. Shotaro wouldn’t hit back, he’s not a violent person, which you know deep down that they all took advantage of until Yangyang, Donghyuck and Miwoo stepped in to defend their friend.

Some people look down, ashamed at being called out while others remain stoic, just continuing to stare at Miwoo as she eyes them all before stopping at Hyunjin. She smirks at his expression, rolling her eyes and lets out a halfhearted laugh all while turning to face Shotaro.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here… This party was boring anyways”

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

“Well… that was an experience” You admit as you walk into Jaemin’s bedroom, laughing awkwardly as you rub at the back of your neck.

After the fight, you all left Eunbin’s party in a hurry and decided to go grab some food at the burger shack, sitting around the table and gossiping about what happened (after making sure Shotaro was okay and that his nose wasn’t broken).

Donghyuck and Yangyang reenacted the fight, throwing over the top punches at each other and succeeding in making Shotaro laugh when they praised him for taking Hyunjin’s punches like a champ, calling him ‘the strongest badass alive’ which Shotaro beamed at.

Even Miwoo commented on how proud of Shotaro she was, cooing at him and pinching his cheek. Renjun and Jeno were still angry but Renjun calmed down after a while as Haru muttered things into his ears, caressing his thigh and giving him soft smiles.

Jeno remained angry while Jaemin was quiet. He stared at the table, saying nothing throughout dinner but when it was time to leave and everyone wanted to go back to the apartment, he had pulled you aside and asked if you could come home with him so the two of you could be alone.

You wanted to decline at first, wanting all of you to go back together but decided against it when it dawned on you that you really needed to talk to him, to discuss things that you wished would disappear and be forgotten about.

“Tell me about it” Jaemin chuckles, closing his bedroom door behind you both. He unbuttons a few of the buttons on his shirt, kicking his shoes off to the side as he looks at you. “Did you have a good night?”

“Yeah, it was fine” You nod stiffly, toeing off your heels.

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know” He tells you. He knows you like the back of his hand. He can read you so easily, you’re like an open book to him and you detest it a little, especially when he seems so closed off to you. You know everything about him and yet, you still know nothing at all. It’s frustrating. “I know you didn’t really want to go, but I’m happy you did”

“I did it for you” You say without looking at him, too shy to meet his eyes.

Jaemin raises a brow. “For me?” You hum with a short nod. “Why would you do it for me?”

Because I like you. “Because you wanted to go”

“I didn’t want to go” Jaemin furrows his brows. “I would’ve been fine either way, you know that. I just wanted to know what you wanted to do, I would’ve followed what you wanted”

You look at him this time. “Really?”

“Yes” Jaemin laughs, nodding his head as his arms wrap around your waist. You hold his arms, staring up at him. You’re unsure of how you’re feeling right now. You want to pull away from his embrace, knowing that it’s wrong to allow him to hold you like this after the conversation you had with Eunbin. But you also want to pull him as close to you as you possibly can, to hold him in your arms, to have his skin on yours, his lips.

Jaemin ducks his head down to press his lips to yours but you move back before he can even do so. He furrows his brows at you in confusion as you step out of his arms.

“Jaemin, I…” You pause, fidgeting in your spot. “I need to talk to you about something”

“Okay?”

“It’s important—” You gulp. “A-and I don’t really know how to start it or what to even say and I—”

“Hey, breathe” He tells you, instructing you to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, demonstrating it in front of you and you copy, quitting your rambling to try and calm your erratic heartbeat. The proximity between you both makes your head spin, feeling his breath fan across your face doesn’t help you relax but your fingers can’t help but graze against his chest, itching to pull him closer to you and ignore everything else around you.

His hand comes up to stroke the back of your head affectionately, staring down at you with those pretty brown eyes that make you weak, knees almost buckling under his gaze but you try your hardest to hold strong.

“Jaem…” You whisper his name.

“God, you look so beautiful” He whispers back to you, his hand coming down to caress your cheek with the prettiest of smiles and it makes your heart ache. The way he’s looking at you right now makes your head spin and you feel choked up, trying your best to blink away the tears that threaten to form. You want to distract yourself from tearing up and you do it in the worst way possible by surging forwards to connect your lips with his, completely forgetting about the talk you wanted to have with him as your fingers curl around his shirt.

His arms slither around your waist, pressing you close to his body as his mouth moves against yours, capturing your bottom lip with a soft bite and you gasp quietly. It gives him the opportunity to push his tongue between your lips, meeting yours in the soft kiss.

He smiles against your lips, pulling you closer as much as he possibly can as your fingers rake through his hair. Without a doubt, you’re addicted to him. You’re drunk on his touch, you’re putting in his hands, you yearn for more every time he touches you… you can’t get enough of him.

The rhythm that your lips move in is so gentle and soft, a kiss that you’ve never shared before but it’s starting to mean so much to you that you almost plead and beg to have him back when he pulls away.

Jaemin lowers himself, bending his knees as his hands latch onto the back of your thighs and you automatically jump, wrapping your legs around his waist as he grips your thighs tightly to hold you up, reconnecting his lips with yours as he expertly manoeuvres around his bedroom.

He sits down on the chair at his desk, comfortably settling you in his lap with your knees on either side of his hips. His hands rest at your thighs, gripping the bare skin between his fingers as mouth moulds with yours and you bring him closer with your arms. You feel his hands rub up and down your thighs before pushing up your skirt, letting it bunch around your waist messily.

You gasp when he presses his fingers against your clothed core. He smiles when he feels the wetness between your legs seeping through the lacy material and you unbuckle his belt, pulling his cock out of his pants just as he yanks your panties to the side.

You refuse to waste anymore time, having not been laid in so long makes you desperate and you’re not afraid to show or admit it, neither is he. He aligns himself at your entrance, his eyes locked on yours as you lower yourself down, gasping at the feeling of him inside you, stretching your walls and fitting in snugly.

He chases after your lips the second he bottoms out, trying his hardest to control himself. He wants to savour this moment and frankly, so do you.

“I appreciate you so much” He whispers sweet things in your ears and you shake your head, telling him to stop but he doesn’t. “I appreciate you so fucking much”

“Jae…” You warn him. He doesn’t listen, as per usual.

His hands cup your cheeks to bring you forwards, lips softly kissing the skin of your forehead, your eyelids, the tip of your nose. You’re basking in his touch, kissing the pad of his thumb as it rubs against your bottom lip. Jaemin smiles, watching your head lean back in bliss when he rolls his hips upwards to meet your speed, adjusting his grip around the back of your neck to pull you in.

He pecks your lips once, twice, three times before connecting his mouth to yours, kissing you so affectionately it makes you feel dizzy, so lightheaded that you’re afraid you’re going to pass out.

You steady your hands on his shoulders in the midst of the kiss to help you rise and fall down on his cock slowly, your eyes rolling to the back of your head in pleasure and whines and cries spill from your lips when his cock hits the sweet spot.

Jaemin’s the one to move back from the kiss, watching you with his mouth wide open, heavily panting every time your ass meets his thighs when you take him whole, his stomach caving in as he sucks in deep breaths.

The way he’s looking at you right now sends a shiver down your spine, his fucked out expression with hazy eyes staring into yours, refusing to break eye contact which you have already done so many times due to the pleasure that’s pooling in the put of your stomach.

You mewl as he hits the spot inside you again, thighs shaking at his hips and you clench around him involuntarily. Jaemin gasps at the feeling, fingers gripping your waist tightly as he tries to pull you closer.

“I’m not going to last long if you keep doing that” Jaemin breathes out with a grunt, licking his lips as he glances down at where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside you with a moan. “Fuck… you’re so beautiful, baby”

“I…I…” You struggle to find your voice when your core clenches, a band forming in your stomach, almost bringing you closer to your orgasm. “I… ‘gonna cum”

“Me too” He tells you, raising his hand to his lips, tongue licking at his thumb before he presses the digit to your clit. The sudden action makes you tense up, the air being knocked out of your lungs as you cum around his cock, leaving you breathless as your walls convulse around him, whining as he thrusts to reach his orgasm.

“Baby..” You cry out prettily, still creaming around his cock. Hearing you call him such an endearing name for the first time sends him over the edge, hot liquid spilling inside of you with a high pitched moan you have never heard come from him before.

You collapse on top of him from exhaustion, resting your chin on his shoulder and everything inside of you snaps, the tears freely streaming down your cheeks. Your hands cling to his back, fisting the material of his shirt in your hands tightly as if he could easily slip away from your fingers. He holds you close to him too, breathing heavily as his hands rub up and down your back soothingly, helping you both come down from your orgasms, cooing softly in your ear.

Jaemin doesn’t move, keeping his cock inside of you with a smile, leaning back against his chair comfortably with you and his one hand moves to the back of your head to keep you as close to him as he can.

He’s unaware of what’s going on behind him, he can’t feel the tears drip from your eyes and seep into his shirt. He can’t hear the words repeating in your head. He can’t see the pain that’s on your face.

He also didn’t know that this is the last time you will both be in this position.

He’s oblivious.

He’s oblivious to it all.

⟩⟩• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •⟨⟨

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @lalalovejeno ‣ @m1ss-foodi3 ‣ @ukiyoneo ‣ @choppedupcactus ‣ @luckyonejaehyun ‣ @dnylwoo ‣ @parkchaeyoung1997 ‣ @sunshinedhyuck ‣ @daydreamiies ‣ @ahgastayzen ‣ @beingpeachy ‣ @luvenshiti ‣ @constantinopleo ‣ @yuthereal-mp4 ‣ @wonnieluvs ‣ @kyngaji ‣ @baekhyunangst ‣ @jaeminie-cricket ‣ @therewillalwaysbearainbow ‣ @heychan ‣ @subhyuck ‣ @bockhyun ‣ @jvngkookks ‣ @carelessshootanonymous ‣ @renjunvibes ‣ @wanlore ‣ @nctflix

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @neovrse ‣ @misschubswrites ‣ @luvlyjaemin ‣ @tipsymarklee ‣ @alyvieyr ‣ @daintyj4em ‣ @luvjeongjaehyun ‣ @sunflowerhae ‣ @anvyn ‣ @daegalfangirl ‣ @kawaiiayasan ‣ @pakovahayhuha ‣ @aliceinwhateverland ‣ @infnteen ‣ @jaemean ‣ @peachyjaemin ‣ @lumineuxes ‣ @revzluv ‣ @bitchenderyy ‣ @vantxx95 ‣ @jjaeyoonoh ‣ @nanadoux ‣ @salovesrenjun

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marklexleaf ‣ @itlittlefangirl ‣ @fullsunic ‣ @yutaily ‣ @kmyr ‣ @sibehpoor ‣ @jaemsslut4 ‣ @chenlewifey ‣ @justalonelynctzen ‣ @wtfyuta ‣ @multihoe-net ‣ @flower-lise ‣ @colouryourfears ‣ @greentealatte97 ‣ @peachyho ‣ @luvdroids ‣ @sunnyteez ‣ @ne0c0r3 ‣ @neoboang ‣ @stillwthyou ‣ @sseulgiluvr ‣ @huqi ‣ @neodistrict ‣ @essocacej ‣ @b1awhore ‣ @nothinglefttodobutcry ‣ @enhyflirt ‣ @hyuckinx ‣ @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 ‣ @klopez01 ‣ @neoculturetingz ‣ @thewhojungwoo @fraechan

[nct-fic-recss]

pussy fiend (l.dh)

PAIRING ➢ haechan x fem!reader

GENRES & AUS ➢ smut, humor, fluff; college au, enemies to fuckbuddies to lovers, roommate au

WORD COUNT ➢ 68.9k total, in 2 parts (28.2k & 40.7k)

WARNINGS ➢ invasion of privacy, Haechan’s a sneaky little shit, cocky!Haechan, jokes about emotional manipulation, author pretends to know about stuff she doesn’t, mild dubcon

CONTENTS ➢ (mild) dubcon, bratty switches! boffum!, somnophilia, oral (receiving), allusions to a free-use kink but barely, rimming (receiving), creampie, dacryphilia, brief thigh job, praise, barely degradation but if you’re sensitive note that, some spit kink, panty sucking (?), Haechan’s a bit of a pain slut, fingering, biting

SUMMARY ➢ uhhh he likes you and is a fiend for pussy idk bestie

AUTHOR’S NOTE ➢ long time no see! please consider sending a donation/tip if you enjoy the fic! please do not get upset with me if you ignore the contents/warnings and get your feelings hurt; that is no one’s doing but yours. if you enjoy the fic, please consider tipping me here or here!! ALSO massive thank you to @ncteez for all her help with the initial idea and beta reading this monster for me :')

“Listen,” You start off with a firm tone as you look out at your audience. “We need to address the elephant in the room.” You say as you shoot your tormentor a disdainful look, your frown deepening when he just smirks and winks at you. “Ever since Lee Donghyuck, also known as Haechan, has moved into this apartment, my life has not known peace. I truly believe there is a karmic imbalance somewhere in the universe now that he lives here.”

“It is unlawful—dare I say immoral, even—to have him terrorize me the way that he does. If we are to continue to allow him to run amok and unchecked, I do believe this could be the beginning of the end. I fear that snakes may begin manifesting in our home.” You finish your speech with a fearful shudder for dramatic effect, and look at your other two roommates for their responses.

“…We can’t kick him out,” Yena has the audacity to whisper loudly to you from the couch as if the four of you aren’t all well within earshot. “If he goes, Jeno goes, and we need their rent money.”

Jeno nods in agreement. “I would have to go, yeah.”

“…Fair point,” You mutter, frowning. “I suppose you can stay until I find someone better.” You narrow your eyes at Haechan, who wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“You’ll be looking for a while, babe,” Haechan replies, grinning as he leans back against the couch cushion, folding his hands behind his head. “There’s nobody better than me.”

“I would rather live with an undomesticated porcupine that panics and shoots quills at me every time I startle it.” You reply, staring him dead in the eyes and ignoring Yena’s amused but dismissive scoff.

“You’re so hot when you’re mean to me.” Haechan coos, and you grimace, glaring at him. “Fuck, just like that.”

“This is not a whorehouse!” You exclaim in alarm, hopping off of the couch to get away from a grinning Haechan. “Have you no shame?”

“Why are you talking like that?” Yena snickers. “All hoity-toity and stuff.”

“I don’t know,” You grumble, jabbing an accusing finger in Haechan’s direction. “He brings out the worst in me.”

“O…kay…” Yena trails off, looking around at the three of you and waiting for someone to say something. No one does, and she slaps her knees lightly and stands up. “Okay! Well…this is the beginning of our house meeting, and I brought in something called a ‘feelings stick’ so we can address our emotions!” She explains, handing Jeno a thick, almost cylindrical piece of wood with neon paint splotches on it.

“Uh…how do you use a ‘feelings stick,’ anyway?” Jeno asks as he turns the decorated piece of wood over in his hand, brows furrowed as he sizes up the stick.

“I saw it on New Girl!” Yena says, her excitement creeping into her response, and you smile encouragingly at her. “We start our statements with ‘I feel,’ and that way we, uh… feel more personally connected to the conversation or something.”

“Is that how they did it on New Girl?” Haechan asks, and Yena pauses to think.

“…It didn’t really work on New Girl, actually.” She recalls, and a silence fills the living room as you, Jeno, and Haechan look at each other.

“Maybe because this is an apartment roommate meeting and not group therapy?” You suggest helpfully, and Yena frowns at you, causing you to raise your hands in surrender immediately. “What do I know, right? Hey, Jeno, pass me the stick.” You say, taking it from his outstretched hand and turning it around in your palm. “I feel,” You start, looking at Yena for approval, who beams and gives you a thumbs up, “grateful to Yena for coming up with ways for us to communicate more effectively.”

“I feel appreciated,” Yena replies, smiling widely.

“I feel…a bit frustrated when Jeno leaves the toilet seat up sometimes.” You continue, and Jeno nods.

“I feel, uh, sorry?” Jeno says slowly, and when you nod and smile at him, he grins proudly.

“I feel heard.” You nod resolutely, your smile fading when you lay eyes on Haechan, who’s watching you with an expectant smirk. “I feel like you should move out.” You say plainly, and Haechan laughs, your words clearly not hitting him where you wanted them to.

“I feel so close to you right now,” Haechan responds with a teasing grin, and you narrow your eyes.

“I feel bloodlust.”

“Hey!” Yena whispers at you, but you ignore her.

“I feel homicidal.” You continue, still ignoring Yena when she whispers your name as a warning, your gaze trained unwaveringly on Haechan. “I feel like you get on my very last nerve and I feel like Yena and I should have just gotten a smaller, cheaper apartment so I wouldn’t have to put up with your incessant flirting, and I feel like if you try to use the bathroom while I’m showering one more fucking time, I’m going to squirt soap in your eyes.”

“I feel like you should lock the door, then,” Haechan counters smoothly. Your eye twitches.

“I feel like you’ve forgotten that Yena lives here and might need to use the bathroom while I shower.” You retort, and Haechan shifts forward, elbows resting on his knees as he stares you down with a challenge glinting in his eye.

“I feel like you’re not being impartial.”

“I feel like you’re a nitwit.”

“I feel…kinda turned on now, actually.” Haechan chuckles, his tongue running along his lip.

“I feel like violence really might be the answer sometimes, especially if the question is ‘what do I want to commit whenever I see Haechan?’” You snap, and Yena lunges at you, snatching the feelings stick from your hands before you can use it as some sort of weapon.

“I feel like this started out well and went sour quickly,” Yena says hurriedly, “and I feel like this meeting should be concluded and maybe tried again later.”

“I feel like you’re right,” You agree, casting one last disapproving look at Haechan before sighing heavily and pulling out your phone, preparing to scroll idly. As you settle into your spot on the couch and cross your legs, Yena leans against the couch beside you, already on her phone. Jeno settles in across from you on the opposite couch, tentatively lifting his legs to place them on the coffee table, and Haechan sits back in his spot beside Jeno, half-scrolling on his phone, half-watching you.

“So can we go?” Jeno asks, looking at you, and you shrug, gesturing at Yena with your thumb.

“Ask Yena,” You mouth, and he nods in understanding.

“Yena?” Jeno asks, eyes darting to you for confirmation, which you give via a small nod, “I was wondering if we’re free to go.”

“Sure,” She sighs, slightly deflated, and your heart pangs, feeling apologetic for messing with the house meeting. You genuinely didn’t mean to; Haechan just has a very specific way of getting under your skin and, unfortunately for you, he’s fully aware of it and exploits it at every opportunity, claiming it’s hot when you’re mad at him.

Your little back and forth with Haechan wasn’t actually always like this; when you two met last spring in freshman year, Haechan was a perfectly fine person to be around; clearly fine enough for you to agree to living with him. Somewhere down the line, his overall teasing remarks and flirtatious advances started becoming less general and more targeted. Specifically, targeted at you.

It wasn’t long before you grew aggravated with his direct advances and deliberately persistent attempts to hit on you, only made more annoying when you realized he flirted with a bunch of other girls. Your lack of interest only seemed to increase Haechan’s determination tenfold, a dynamic which only got worse once the two of you started living under one roof at the beginning of this school year. You’re now in your fourth semester of college and almost entirely sick of Haechan’s antics.

“Hey, do you know a girl named Heoni?” Jeno asks you, and you perk your head up at the name, smiling brightly.

“I do! She’s a sweetheart; isn’t she the girl in Mark’s art class that he’s, like, pretty much obsessed with?” You ask, and Jeno nods in confirmation.

“Yep, that’s the one. Mark’s asking if she would know anyone here enough to want to hang out later.”

“She definitely knows me enough, and I would hope she likes me enough,” You answer with an uncertain shrug. “If Mark needs it, I’ll come hang out. Aw, they fit together; she’s super cute, Mark’s super cute–”

“Please stop hitting on my friends,” Haechan groans.

“No.” You reply immediately, and Jeno looks between the two of you with a baffled expression.

“I–I thought–weren’t we just setting Mark up with Heo–” Jeno looks at you with his head cocked to the side in confusion and you put a finger to your lips, the male catching on several beats later, his confused expression morphing into one of understanding as he nods and says nothing.

“Why not?” Haechan complains, and you set your phone on your lap and look up at him with a smile.

“Because it clearly bothers you.” You reply, and Haechan huffs.

“Please?” When you shake your head at him, he sucks his teeth and continues, “I’ll just sabotage your every attempt.”

“How are you gonna do that?” You chuckle skeptically.

“I’ll tell them all that you’re crazy…insane, even.”

“They literally know me, Haechan,” You laugh as you rise from the couch and head past him to your room, shooting Jeno an amused look as he sits on the opposite couch. “Plus, isn’t there a thing that says crazy girls are good in bed?” Your journey to your room is stopped short by Haechan quite literally throwing himself at your feet, on his knees as he whines and grovels, and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a fascinating sight.

“Please,” He begs, looking up at you pleadingly, “It’ll kill me if any of them get to be with you! Please don’t let me find out you’re going with any of my friends.” Haechan hangs his head sadly, and you fake a cough to hide your snicker, eyes darting to a very amused Jeno who’s got his phone out and aimed at you two, apparently recording for blackmail purposes.

You pat Haechan’s head in a sympathetic gesture. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He says hopefully, looking up at you, and you nod.

“Yeah. You won’t find out if I fuck any of your friends.” You say with a smile, and his quick shift into a panicked expression is instant, evoking yet another cough-laugh from you. “You might not want to ask Jaemin about me, then.” You warn him, and Haechan’s eyes widen in horror.

“What?” He exclaims loudly, and you step around him, patting his head again for good measure.

“Bye,” You coo, dragging out the word as you head to your room, relishing in the sound of Haechan’s alarmed, rapid speech pattern as he tries to make sense of what you’ve just told him.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“I’m just saying that Jar Jar Binks has no visible sex organs–”

“Would you rather they be visible?” Yena cuts you off, alarmed yet amused as she looks over her shoulder at you, blindly feeling for her toast after the toaster goes off on the counter she’s facing. Pinching one piece, she winces, dropping it back in the toaster as she shakes her hand. “Why are you trying to see the sex organs of Jar Jar Binks, anyway? Do you wanna fuck him or something?” She laughs, and you shoot her a look, one Yena knows all too well to be the look you give before you choose chaos on purpose.

“Maybe I’m trying to be Mrs. Jar Jar Binks,” You reply with a sly grin, and Yena bursts out laughing. Your curiosity piques when Yena appears to spot something over your shoulder that makes her laughter build, turning yourself around in your chair a moment too late to see a freshly awake and washed up Haechan already moving to lean against the island next to where you’re sitting. A quick scan of his frame grants you a view of his black t-shirt, his grey sweats, and his–

“It’s nine in the morning,” You stress, looking away from him quickly and covering your eyes.

“Well, good morning to you, too,” He chuckles. “I can’t control it,” He defends himself, “but I see you caught an eyeful.”

“It looked at me first!” You yelp defensively, and Haechan laughs as he shoots Yena a friendly nod in greeting and slides his gaze back over to you, a mischievous smirk curling his lips as he wiggles his eyebrows.

“Anyway, is that why you won’t give me a chance?” Haechan asks with a sly, teasing grin, turning so his back is against the island and his elbows are resting on the surface behind him, giving him the freedom to observe you freely without having to crane his head. Thankfully, something about the shift in his position gives you the ability to acknowledge him without bearing witness to his…friend. “Is your type Jar Jar Binks?”

“The reasons why I don’t want to fuck you have nothing to do with Jar Jar Binks and everything to do with your personal character flaws,” You reply dismissively, turning away from him dramatically and focusing on Yena, who hands you a freshly buttered slice of toast and the strawberry jam.

“…Character flaws…” Haechan says slowly, a smile growing on his face, and you turn to look at him, giving him a judgmental once over.

“Yes?” You reply, confused. “What, was that too big of a word for you?”

“Character flaws as in personality traits…” Haechan continues, his smile widening even more, and you shoot him an annoyed glare.

“You take as long as you need to process those two words, Haechan,” You say as condescendingly as possible, baffled by how dense he’s being. His actions become clear when he grins triumphantly, leaning closer to you and filling your nose with the scent of minty toothpaste and the fabric softener he uses.

“So it’s not my appearance,” Haechan finally gets to the point, and you freeze mid-chew, annoyed you slipped up and even more annoyed that he caught it. “So if my personality was different, I’d have a chance…”

“No,” You reply quickly–too quickly, actually, if Haechan’s eyes lighting up with determination are anything to go off of. “No!” You try again, more insistently, but you can tell it’s too late as he pushes off of the counter and wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“Too late! Gonna go study Jar Jar Binks videos and copy his mannerisms,” Haechan announces, heading back towards his room.

“You freak, I still won’t fuck you!”

“Can’t hear you!” Haechan replies in a sing-song lilt. “Meesa leaving…meesa plotting…meesa studying…”

“You’re doing it wrong!” You quip as he rounds the corner out of sight, and he pops his head back, puckering his lips at you in a smug little air-kiss.

“That’s what the studying’s for.” He shoots you a wink and disappears once more, leaving you to groan in annoyance.

“I can’t stand him, actually,” You groan, setting your toast back on the plate as you frown.

“I really don’t think I get why, though,” Yena replies, leaning her elbows onto the island on the other side of you, her head cocked to the side in confusion as she chews on a piece of cored apple. “I mean, you guys are actually pretty similar.”

You stare at her blankly. “…That is actually the most offensive thing you’ve ever said to me,” You deadpan, and Yena rolls her eyes as she laughs at you. “You should have just killed me when you had the chance–it would’ve hurt less.”

“See? You’re dramatic just like him!” Yena points out, and you glare at her until she backtracks, raising her hands in surrender. “I recant my statement.”

“Thank you,” You reply, disgruntled. You look around, craning your head to see down the hallway where Haechan’s and Jeno’s rooms are, and, seeing nothing, lean forward to speak in a lowered voice. “Listen–is he hot? Yes. Is he sex on legs? …Yes. Is it actually devastating how attractive he is? …Yes,” You say, your train of thought slowing to a stop at the growing smug smile on Yena’s face. “…Am I now realizing that I’m making the opposite of my point? Yes.” You mutter shamefully, hopping off of your chair to walk over to the fridge and pull out various fruits to wash, chop, and blend into a smoothie.

“I’m just saying,” Yena sing-songs.

“And you will say no more!” You whisper forcefully, and she rolls her eyes, biting into another piece of apple before she pantomimes locking her lips and throwing away the key. You reach to unplug the toaster and plug in the blender, struggling due to your lack of a visual on the outlets themselves. The plug scrapes and skids along the wall several times before you huff and give up, flinging the cord down in frustration and deciding to prepare the ingredients first and try again later. “Finding that socket is impossible,” You grumble. “This must be how guys feel during sex.”

“Can’t relate,” Haechan’s voice comes out of nowhere, and you shout in alarm, whipping around to see him beside you, fully dressed and opening the fridge to get a bottle of soda, grinning with satisfaction.

“Literally was not speaking to you.” You say, blinking impassively at him. “Wait, why are you dressed? It’s Saturday,” You ask, confused, and Haechan looks over at you while he twists open the cap on the bottle (you watch his hands working on the cap for an embarrassingly long time, but you’d rather stick a fork in an outlet than admit to that) and takes a sip.

“Going to the library,” He explains when he finishes swallowing, and, no, you did not watch his Adam’s apple move…oh, who are you kidding? “I’ll be back soon, babe; don’t worry.” He teases, and you echo him with a mocking expression as you tilt your head from side to side. “I’m such a fan of our little lovers’ quarrels,” Haechan muses as he slowly makes his way to the front door, walking backwards to keep his eyes on you. “So I can’t stay away from you for too long.”

“Do you ever cringe at the corny stuff you say?” Yena asks curiously, and Haechan looks over at her as he shakes his head.

“Nope,” He answers, popping his lips on the ‘p.’ “You gotta own the cringe.” He states as if citing a proverb, shooting Yena a wave and you a final wink before he turns and heads to the entryway of the door to put his shoes on and leave.

You wait to relax until you hear the front door shut fully and the locks click into place as Haechan locks the door behind him, slouching against the counter and huffing crankily. “I can’t stand him.”

“Sure,” Yena replies casually, “and you also weren’t ogling him like a Victorian man seeing a woman’s ankle while he was messing with that bottle.”

“…Have I wronged you or something?” You ask, confused, and Yena bursts out laughing. “No, I’m just wondering why you would say these things to me as if I have no shame. I have so much shame.”

“So much?”

“Too much, really.”

“I’ll pray for you.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

As you and Yena come home from the library, after shutting the apartment door, you’re met with a…funny little smell.

“It smells like Four Loko.” You whisper to Yena, whose nose crinkles as she registers what you just said.

“It kinda does.” She whispers back, and when your eyes narrow, hers widen. “Don’t make it a big thing,” She pleads and you wave your hand dismissively.

“I won’t,” You whisper, and Yena sighs in relief.

“Okay, good, because I thought you’d fly off the handle–”

“Why does it smell like Four Loko in here?!” You yell, storming into the living room.

“Knew it,” Yena sighs as she follows after you.

“It’s probably your fault!” You round on Haechan immediately, who raises his hands defensively as he sees your annoyed expression.

“You’re so hot when you’re mad,” Haechan sighs dreamily, and you glower at him.

“Still not getting your dick wet. Back to the issue–”

“I wasn’t trying to get my dick wet!”

“Whatever! Why does it smell like Four Loko?” You press, and Haechan shoots you a defensive look, his eyes wide as he shrugs.

“I don’t know!”

“Haechan, are you lying?” You narrow your eyes at him, and he just stares back at you intently from his spot on the couch.

“No.” He says calmly, and you get even closer, practically in his face as you stare at him, waiting for a sign of him about to crack.

“This is hot,” Haechan chuckles, his gaze dropping to your lips. “Are we about to kiss right now?”

“You wish,” You scoff, and Haechan nods.

“Sure do.”

“You aggravate me.”

“I know. It’s hot.”

“It’s hot,” You echo him with a mocking voice, and his brows furrow.

“I don’t sound like that.” He huffs, and you shrug.

“You do to me.”

“Well, I don’t know how, because I don’t talk like that–”

“Can we get back on topic, please?” Yena groans, and you look back at her with an apologetic expression, her fond smile showing you that you’re forgiven. One last glance at Haechan gives you the sight of him grinning at you, raising his eyebrows before puckering his lips in an air-kiss so quick that you almost miss it. Rolling your eyes, you stand up and walk back over to Yena, putting your hand on your hip.

“I don’t believe that Haechan isn’t to blame for this.” You huff, and Yena snickers in amusement when the male in question splutters indignantly, throwing his hands up in the air.

“I was out virtually all day! I got home like an hour before you guys came just now!” He replies, seemingly eager to clear his name.

“Well, maybe you came in and shotgunned a Four Loko or something!” You retort, and Haechan’s whole face scrunches up in disbelief and confusion.

“Do you actually think that makes any sense–” Haechan’s reply stops short when the bathroom door opens and Jeno comes out in a t-shirt and sweats and rubbing a towel in his wet hair, walking through the hallway but stopping in his tracks when he sees you’re all home.

“Hey, guys!” He greets you with a sunny smile, and you mirror his expression, his infectious happiness already getting to you.

“Hi, Jeno!” You and Yena greet him in unison, and Haechan and Jeno share a grin and friendly nod. “You wouldn’t happen to know why the apartment smells like Four Loko, would you?” You ask, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to explore every avenue of possibility.

“Oh, yeah! That was me,” Jeno replies, half-sheepish, and you falter.

“…Huh?”

“Yeah, I washed out a bunch of bottles I had lying around in my room so I could make more protein shakes, and a bunch of them were filled with Four Loko, so I just poured them down the sink. Sorry about it,” He explains, looking a bit downcast, and your eyes widen.

“It’s okay! It’s okay, Jeno, don’t even worry about it.” You rush to assure him, and he looks slightly less put out, a smile slowly returning to his face.

“Okay…cool.” He perks back up and jerks a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his room. “Gonna head to my room and relax.” Once you, Yena, and Haechan have sent him off, Jeno waves and heads back towards the original destination of his room. Once you all hear his door shut, Haechan leaps to his feet and points an accusing finger at you.

“How does he get off scot-free, but you practically jumped down my throat?” He exclaims, and you stare at him blankly as you go to get the air freshener from the bottom cabinet under the sink and start spraying liberally.

“Simple; Jeno can do virtually no wrong,” You explain as you turn to spray the curtains, “and I find you aggravating.”

“But–” Haechan starts, but you spray air freshener in his direction to ward him off. “You can’t–” You spray at him again. “I just–” And again. “Can you–” And again– “Okay!” Haechan huffs, narrowing his eyes at you. “I get it.”

“Great.” You chirp. “Then go away.”

“I’ll be back,” He warns you, walking backwards towards his room as he keeps his eyes locked on you.

“Please don’t.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The cacophony of the main campus cafeteria is both disturbing and comforting, the din strangely familiar, commonplace even, as groups of friends huddle around the small tables with the occasional wobbly leg. Today is no different, as Haechan sits with several of his friends at a lunch table, raptly listening as they recount their experience at the grocery store.

“It was actually humiliating.” Mark recalls, a grave expression occupying the usually bright and cheery male’s face. “She was so sweet about it, but I could tell she was trying not to laugh.”

“Heoni is a sweetheart,” Jeno agrees with a nod. “She even helped you pick up some of the cans you knocked over!”

“I’m still lost on how Mark messed up so badly within five minutes of talking to Heoni that he knocked over an entire display section of canned peas.” Renjun says slowly, Haechan noticing his friend’s lips quivering as he, too, tries not to laugh.

“It all happened so fast,” Mark groans, leaning forward to put his face in his hands. A piece of his hair gets in his pasta sauce, but no one mentions it, the male already having gone through enough today. “She was there in the produce aisle and she looked so pretty and we were talking about art class together and walking around kind of aimlessly–kind of like a date, really–”

“Mark?” Haechan butts in, and Mark sits up, looking at him cluelessly.

“Yes?”

“The point. Get back to it.”

“Oh, right! Anyway, she laughed at something I said–God, she has the cutest laugh–and I guess I spaced out because the next thing I know, I’m on the floor, my butt hurts, and I’m surrounded by canned peas.” He finishes forlornly, and Yangyang’s mouth twitches as he prepares to speak.

“Mark bumped into an employee cart, jumped like a foot in the air, and landed at an angle, I guess, because he stumbled to the side and knocked over the whole display of canned peas.” Yangyang fills in for Mark, and, if the quiver of his voice is anything to go by, it was every bit as comical as Haechan is imagining, and he takes a moment to mourn not being there to witness it first-hand.

“Heoni took that can to the foot like a champ, honestly–” Jeno recalls with a wince, and Mark whips his head around to face Jeno (a little bit of the pasta sauce in his hair flies and hits Yangyang just below his eye, but Mark fails to notice) with a horrified expression.

“One of the cans hit her in the foot?” Mark’s voice is higher than Haechan has ever heard it, and it’s making the situation even more amusing, even Renjun having to disguise his laugh as a cough into his fist. Haechan and Renjun make eye contact and regret it immediately, looking away quickly and trying harder to hide their amusement as Renjun picks up a napkin, leans forward, and graciously cleans the remaining pasta sauce out of Mark’s hair. “Thanks, Renjun.” Mark sighs sadly, and Renjun nods in acknowledgment as he leans back in his seat.

“That sounded like a disaster,” Haechan exhales slowly, fixing his face into a sympathetic expression to comfort his friend. “That doesn’t really explain why Yangyang is limping, though.”

“Oh! It was just your roommate’s posts to her story on Instagram,” Yangyang replies offhandedly, not noticing the blatant confusion on Haechan’s face.

“Yena? She didn’t post anything today.”

“Not Yena,” Yangyang says, and Haechan’s eyes widen, barely registering Yangyang’s next words as he whips out his phone and opens Instagram. “She posted, like, an outfit of the day picture and some selfies, I think.”

“I can’t find them,” Haechan groans as he searches through the stories of everyone he follows to no avail.

“Oh, yeah! I was there when she got that skirt,” Jeno announces proudly as he starts to reminisce. “She and Yena lured me to the mall with them one time so I could be their bag boy, and I helped approve that skirt. It was a long time to walk around after them, but I got free food out of it.”

“Why can’t I find them?” Haechan asks confusedly, and Renjun leans over to look at his phone.

“Well, then you’re kinda to thank for this,” Yangyang says as he leans over to high-five Jeno. “You saw, man, I literally dropped to my knees in the middle of the grocery store.”

“Well, yeah, but I thought that was partially dramatics.” Jeno replies, confused.

“It kinda was–I had to commit to the bit, you know? The sentiment was real, though.” Yangyang explains, and Jeno nods in understanding before he reaches an arm around to rub Mark’s back comfortingly, the oldest male still visibly upset over his harrowing experience with his crush at the grocery store.

“Renjun, what’s her name on Instagram?” Haechan asks, and Renjun pulls out his phone to check, seeming to find it easily. “How come you found it so quickly, but I can’t find it at all–” Haechan stops mid-question as the answer becomes clear, and sighs, rolling his eyes. “She blocked me, didn’t she?”

“She definitely did.” Renjun confirms, and now it’s Haechan’s turn to receive a comforting backrub from Jeno.

“Fuck it,” Haechan mutters determinedly, picking his phone back up and opening his text conversations. “I’m texting her.”

haechan [12:43] unblock me on instagram

you [12:45] no

haechan [12:46] oh come ON what could you be posting on there

haechan [12:47] is it nudes… let me know i’ll make a burner acc

you [12:50] haechan you WISH i posted nudes publicly

haechan [12:51] i sure do.

haechan [12:51] would’ve made it a lot easier to jerk off last night

you [12:54] …if you ever wonder again why you’re blocked, just read this exchange over

haechan [12:55] COME ON UNBLOCK ME

you [12:55] no :/

haechan [12:57] fine. can you at least send one of your oh so elusive nudes

you [12:57] …

haechan [12:58] so i have something to remember you by

you [13:04] first of all: ew

you [13:05] second of all: we Iive together (unfortunately) so you see me all the time

you [13:07] third and last of all: i dont keep my nudes saved on my phone :/

you [13:08] try asking jaemin!

haechan [13:12] WHAT

haechan [13:13] JAEMIN?????????

haechan [13:13] NA JAEMIN?????

you [13:15] ??? yes?? is there another jaemin or smth??

haechan [13:17] WHAT

haechan [13:17] WHY THE HELL WOULD HE HAVE YOUR NUDES

you [13:18] LMAO byeee :)

haechan [13:20] YOU CAN’T LEAVE NOW WTF

haechan [13:22] ANSWER ME!!!

haechan [13:25] oh my god

haechan [13:27] ARE YOU SERIOUS 😭😭😭

“I’m gonna kill him,” Haechan mutters bitterly, and Renjun shoots him a bewildered look.

“Who are you killing?” Renjun asks, his question indirectly answered when you, Yena, and Jaemin round the corner, heading for their table. Everyone exchanges friendly greetings except for Haechan, who stares Jaemin down, the latter seemingly unaware of his new enemy. Yena doesn’t even stop to chat, dropping her bag by the spot Renjun’s made for her and making a beeline to get food.

“How was class?” Yangyang asks as he scoots over to make room for you; when you settle your bag in between Yangyang and Jeno to stake your claim on the spot, Haechan can’t help but shoot daggers at Yangyang, his earlier comment still ringing in Haechan’s head about falling to his knees because of you.

“Long,” You and Jaemin answer in unison, looking at each other and laughing, oblivious to the way Haechan’s eyes narrow at the male who’s placed his bag on the other side of Jeno. “Yeah… Professor Andrews would not let us get off-topic—no matter how hard we tried.” You groan, rolling your eyes.

“One of the main reasons education majors have it rough is because of Professor Andrews,” Jaemin gripes, and you agree with an emphatic nod.

“Okay, I’m hungry,” You complain, taking two steps towards getting your food before you pause, looking back at the table. “Oh, Mark! I saw Heoni earlier,” You say with a smile before a sympathetic frown appears on your face. “She was limping a little bit, so maybe you can do something nice for her, like carry her books to her next class!”

Mark’s eyes widen at your helpful suggestion, nodding distractedly and waiting for you and Jaemin to walk away before dropping his head to the table again and groaning.

“What if I broke something in her foot?” Mark worries, and Haechan notes that, yet again, Mark’s leaning forward has gotten pasta sauce in his hair.

“The can couldn’t have fallen on her that hard!” Renjun supplies helpfully, and Mark looks up at him with a forlorn expression. “It’s probably just sore right now; she’ll most likely feel better by tomorrow!”

“Yeah?” Mark mumbles, hope persisting even through his saddened tone.

“Yeah,” Jeno affirms comfortingly, and Haechan offers a sympathetic smile and a little pat on Mark’s hand.

Jaemin returns back to the table first, only having grabbed a bowl of noodles, and sits in his spot next to Jeno, ready to dig in. He, however, is forced to halt, forkful of steaming noodles halfway to his mouth, when Haechan scoffs.

“Is something wrong, Haechan?” Jaemin asks cautiously, clearly confused but not willing to make any wrong moves.

“Is something wrong, Haechan?” Haechan mocks Jaemin’s voice, ignoring Yangyang’s snort of amusement to continue on, “I can’t believe you’d even ask me—yes, something’s wrong!”

Jaemin looks from Haechan to his forkful of noodles, back to Haechan, and back at his noodles before sighing deeply and putting the forkful back in the bowl, looking up at Haechan.

“What is the problem?” Jaemin asks flatly, and Haechan huffs in disbelief.

“The problem? The problem is that you have my roommate’s nudes—you know…the girl you know I’ve been chasing after for, like, three semesters; does Guy Code mean anything to you?!” Haechan asserts indignantly, and Jaemin’s face scrunches up in confusion, looking around the table for assistance which, unfortunately, he doesn’t receive, given that literally everyone at the table is giving Haechan the same baffled look. Even Mark with the pasta sauce in his hair stares at Haechan with a deeply lost expression, oblivious to the way the pasta-coated strand of his hair starts to droop down towards his forehead.

“Haechan…what the fuck are you talking about?” Jaemin questions with a deadpan expression.

“What am I talking about, Jaemin?” Haechan sneers, and if he was glaring daggers at Yangyang earlier, he’s glaring grenades with the pins pulled at Jaemin, who sits in place, frozen with confusion.

Right on time, you and Yena both return to the table, both of you holding two hearty plates of food. “The lines were so long—what crawled up your ass and died?” You ask Haechan in confusion, and Jaemin turns to you with widened eyes.

“Why does Haechan think I have your nudes?” Jaemin practically pleads with you to get him out of this mess, and you look confused for a second before remembering your conversation with Haechan earlier and snickering.

“Haechan…you actually fell for that? Really?” You laugh, and now it’s Haechan’s turn to look baffled, his mouth opening and closing as he attempts to reply, but coming up short every time.

“You’re so mean,” Haechan finally manages to complain, and you shrug dismissively.

“Only to you.”

“So…I’m special?” Haechan asks, a little smirk already appearing, and you sputter out a laugh.

“Did not take you long to come back from that one, king.” You laugh, tacking on the nickname sarcastically, and Haechan grins.

“I’ll always come back for you,” He coos sweetly, and several gags of disgust sound out around the table.

“That barely makes sense.” You point out with a disdainful expression.

“It makes perfect sense.” Haechan replies, and you roll your eyes.

“Okay.” You agree.

“So it makes sense?” Haechan asks, and you stare at him with a blank expression.

“I will say whatever it takes at this point to get you to let me eat my pizza.” You say monotonously, gesturing to the slice you’re holding in your hand, and he nods in understanding and raises his hands in surrender, a pleased smile appearing on your face as you take a bite of your pizza. Conversation is made amongst the eight of you until Renjun turns to Yena with an abrupt change in conversation.

“You never got to tell us how class went!” He points out, and Yena looks up from her food to nod, swallowing before she speaks.

“I mean, it was okay; it was only entertaining because someone kept texting me play-by-plays of her sexting some guy.” Yena says with a sly smile as she stares pointedly at you, and you giggle mischievously, barely paying Haechan any mind when he cries out in pain like he’s been shot.

“You were sexting?!” Haechan squawks indignantly, and his question falls on deaf ears as you don’t acknowledge him.

“How did you get away with blatantly texting in class?” Jeno asks in confusion and you smile secretively.

“Sat in the back.” You explain.

“Communications major.” Yena explains for herself, and you snort in amusement. “We didn’t do much today as it is.”

“Who were you sexting?!” Haechan persists in a frantic hushed whisper, and you turn your attention to him finally with a somewhat exasperated expression.

“You don’t know him.”

“Try me!”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No, but here, I’ll throw you a bone; he was terrible.”

“Really?” Jeno’s instantly intrigued, and you struggle to hide your surprised smile at how eager Jeno is to engage in gossip or “girl talk.” “How bad?”

“Disastrous, Jeno.” You lament, and his eyes widen comically.

“I think it’s only fair that we, as your friends, get a similar play-by-play,” Renjun suggests, and you shrug and nod in agreement.

“I mean, there’s not much besides screenshots, and I’d feel bad for the poor guy if I showed you guys that, so I’ll describe as much as I can. He was the ‘I’m gonna rub your leg and kiss you on the neck. does that feel good’ type of guy, which, like…no, it doesn’t feel good, king. Firstly, this isn’t 4D texting…I can’t feel any of that. Secondly, I’m literally learning about assistive technology in classrooms right now… I’m not, like, finger-fucking myself in the back of Education 204.” You finish off your rant with a dramatic wave of your arm, and Jaemin snorts so hard in amusement that he has to scoot back, pinching his nose and exhaling in a wince.

“Noodle broth just went up my nose.” He gags, and you wince sympathetically.

“Sorry, Jaemin,” You mumble, trying to hide your amusement, and he sniffles twice, wiping his nose and mouth with a napkin.

“Another bad part was when he asked if you came,” Yena snickers, and you both start laughing, only for Mark to look between the two of you in a red-faced confusion.

“Are…are we not supposed to ask that?” Mark asks, worried, and you look at him with a slight shake of the head.

“You have pasta sauce in your hair.” You mutter, leaning over Jeno to get the red sauce out of Mark’s hair, and he frowns.

“Thanks. Why can’t we ask that?” He isn’t ready to drop it, you realize, Mark looking between you and Yena yet again.

“If you know she’s actually getting herself off, it’s different,” Yena explains, and you nod. “Otherwise, like if you just text her out of nowhere and you don’t know what she’s up to, you probably shouldn’t ask…”

“Y’know what’s crazy, though? He asked what I was up to, and I told him I was in class.” You recall slowly, marveling at his cluelessness.

“So he’s just dumb.” Yangyang says bluntly, and you open your mouth to protest, find no defense, and close it, drumming your hands on the table awkwardly.

“In his defense, I was kinda flirting,” You explain, jolting at Haechan’s dramatic wail of despair, rolling your eyes and continuing on, “and I know that a lot of guys aren’t good at responding to girls when they flirt.”

“Where’d you hear that?” Haechan exclaims defensively, and, instead of answering, you decide to make an example of him.

“Mm, I don’t remember, Haechan,” You lilt sweetly, and his eyes widen in surprise. “Maybe it’s kinda right, though?” You ask, cocking your head to the side in mock innocence, and you can watch his mind go blank, his eyes glazing over as he nods at you robotically, almost in a trance.

“Yeah, I mean—it might be right for, uh, some people.”

“Unbelievable,” Mark chuckles quietly, and Yangyang snorts.

“Very believable.” He counters, and you smile widely at Haechan as you lean forward, the male mirroring you instantly.

“Haechan?” You hum, and his eyes drop down to your lips. “Listen very carefully to what I’m about to say.”

“Okay,” He agrees, already hanging on to your every word.

“You are…the most…” You drop the sweet tone and return to your originally unimpressed affect, “easily manipulated person I’ve ever met.” Haechan blinks in surprise, looking at you with a slightly lost expression, and you can’t help but feel a little bad for how easily he caved.

“I–huh?” He mumbles, confused, and you look at him, genuinely in disbelief.

“At this point, I think your advisor encouraged you to keep studying Psych so she could study you,” You mutter, baffled, and Renjun snorts out a laugh into his fist.

“I have class,” Mark blurts out as he casually looks at his phone, now panicked, and practically falls over himself in his efforts to clamber out of the booth half of you are all squished into, tossing out apologies as he steps on and over people. “Sorry, guys!”

“Bye, Mark!” Several of you call out, and he turns to face you, waving with a smile.

“Shit, if Mark has class–” Renjun realizes aloud, and Haechan groans as the realization sinks in for him as well. “We gotta go,” He nudges Haechan, who frowns but ultimately gets ready with Renjun to leave.

“Are you coming?” Haechan asks Yangyang and Jeno, who shake their head.

“I have class in 30 minutes,” Yangyang explains.

“My class starts in two hours,” Jeno answers with a smile, and Haechan cocks his head to the side in confusion, opening his mouth to speak, but shakes his head dismissively, closing it.

Before leaving, Haechan looks at Jaemin, waits until they’re making eye contact, and points from his eyes, to Jaemin, to you, who hasn’t seen a thing.

“Stay away from her,” Haechan mouths at Jaemin with narrowed eyes before dragging a finger across his neck, much to Jaemin’s alarm. Renjun yanks Haechan away, but Haechan stares Jaemin down until the very last moment before they turn the corner.

“I’m begging you…please stop using me as a way to piss off Haechan,” Jaemin asks you with a half-worried, half-amused expression. “He’s insane and he will attempt to harm me.”

“That sounds personal,” You hum, and he splutters incredulously only to stop when you laugh and pat his hand comfortingly. “I’ll ease off of it, don’t worry.”

“Thank God, because I don’t need to be part of Haechan’s you-related hit list,” Jaemin replies casually, and you pause, your cup halfway to your mouth.

“…His what?”

“It’s a long story.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“Renjun, you get to bear witness to my newest plan,” Haechan states proudly, and Renjun just sighs.

“Oh, boy.”

“Aw, come on, can you at least act a little bit like you have faith in me?” Haechan nudges Renjun with his elbow, and Renjun sighs. Again.

“What’s the plan?” Renjun asks drily, and Haechan glowers at him before he launches into his plan.

“You know how we just did that reading on Pavlov and his dogs, right?”

“This is already going south.”

“Wha—why?!”

“You are not Pavlov. You are Lee Haechan, a sophomore in college who has done a fraction of the reading on Pavlov and a fraction of that fraction of the research necessary to conduct any worthwhile studies.” Renjun answers flatly, and Haechan just stares at him, shocked and wounded.

“Okay, that hurt–”

“I’m sure your ego will survive the attack.”

“–and I did do the Pavlov reading!” Haechan exclaims, indignant, but when Renjun fixes him in place with a flat and disbelieving expression, he starts to squirm. “I did it!” Renjun says nothing. “Okay, maybe I read most of it and left about five pages at the end.” Renjun blinks slowly. “…Okay, maybe…I read about three-fourths of the reading.” Renjun blinks twice. “Half?” Renjun raises an eyebrow. “A quarter?” His other eyebrow joins the first. “Okay, maybe I read the first couple of pages and got bored and fell asleep and woke up with a drool stain on the book that made one of the dogs’ face look all funny and it made me laugh.” Haechan finally confesses, and Renjun relaxes, patting his friend on the back.

“Good interrogation. You wouldn’t last a day in the CIA.”

“Can we get back to my point, please?”

“Go for it.” Renjun sighs, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head.

“I’m gonna listen out for every time she gets herself off,” Haechan’s voice is now a stage-whisper, pointing, for Renjun’s sake, in the direction of your room, “and every time she’s about to cum–”

“Do I really need to hear this?” Renjun squirms uncomfortably, and Haechan shushes him.

“Yes! Now listen. Every time she’s about to cum, I’m going to either ask her something through her door, text her, or even AirDrop her a picture of myself. That way she’ll get conditioned,” Haechan nudges Renjun with a secretive little grin, as if conditioning was the only term one needed to remember from Pavlov and his studies, “to associate me with her being turned on and then, when everything is said and done, the sight of me will have her practically flooding the place!”

“…It’s ironic that you’re a Psychology major.” Renjun muses after Haechan finishes speaking.

“Why?” Haechan asks, visibly confused.

“You’re easily the most insane person I know.” Renjun comments sadly, patting his friend’s knee sympathetically.

“Hey!” Haechan exclaims, offended, and Renjun shrugs.

“I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.” He says casually, and Haechan rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, whatever. I’m testing out my theory today–”

“I am not going to eavesdrop on your roommate getting herself off–”

“–on a more minor scale,” Haechan finishes, staring at Renjun incredulously. “Why would I want you to hear what the girl I like sounds like when she cums?”

“If the past twenty minutes were indicative of anything,” Renjun shoots back, “I cannot trust you to think clearly or rationally.”

“Your words wound me, Renjunnie.” Haechan lets out a quiet, dramatic sob, and Renjun sighs again—“Renjun, do you want to go home or something?”

“I’m so glad you asked, because yes, I really do–”

“Shh, shh, shh! I’m gonna text her every time she laughs at something so she’ll associate me with happiness and laughter.”

“Um–”

“Um, nothing, it’s genius!” Haechan asserts in a hushed voice. Listening out carefully from his spot on the living room couch, he waits until he hears the telltale sign of your laughter from your bedroom and types out a quick text, hitting Send and placing his phone in his lap.

“…Did you send the text?” Renjun asks, and a ding! sound rings out from the direction of your bedroom, your laughter, which had started to taper off, immediately cutting short.

“I sent the text,” Haechan says with a grin, and Renjun nods slowly, pursing his lips.

“What’d it say?”

“I just said hi with a smiley face,” Haechan replies, and Renjun stills, staring at him blankly.

“That’s it?” Renjun says, clearly in disbelief, and Haechan looks at his friend, eyebrows raised and furrowed in confusion.

“Yes, that’s it? Short and simple?” Haechan explains, lightly rapping a knuckle against Renjun’s forehead and making hollow thunk noises with every contact. “Anybody home?”

“Stop worrying about who’s at home in my head and start worrying about who’s at home in your home, because from a realistic standpoint, she would have answered your oh-so-lengthy and thoughtful text by now.” Renjun snickers, and Haechan jolts as if he’s been shocked, reaching for his phone and unlocking it.

“She read it but no reply.” Haechan informs Renjun, who shrugs.

“Okay, well! Back to the drawing board–”

“I’m gonna AirDrop her memes.” Haechan decides, and Renjun stops mid-sentence.

“…You’re gonna AirDrop her memes?”

“I’m gonna AirDrop her memes,” Haechan confirms.

“I might have to tell Mark to pray for you.” Renjun says, pressing the back of his hand to Haechan’s forehead. “You’re clearly sick.”

“Would you hush! I just sent her the perfect meme.” Haechan states, staring at the status of the AirDrop process with a hopeful gaze that falls as soon as the word “Declined” appears on his screen. “No way,” Haechan chuckles, sending you the meme again. Less time passes this time, the “Declined” showing up almost immediately, and Haechan’s face falls. “Renjun, I don’t get it! It’s the perfect meme!” He complains as he leans over to show Renjun, who looks at the meme, then at Haechan, then back at the meme, then back at Haechan…then at the meme again for good measure.

“Haechan?”

“Hm?”

“This meme isn’t funny.”

“What do you mean, ‘this meme isn’t funny?’”

“Well, you know this meme?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s not funny. Hope this helps.”

“…It doesn’t,” Haechan grouches, pulling up another meme to send. “Okay, I just sent another one–”

“Haechan.” You call out loudly from your room, and the male in question freezes.

“She doesn’t sound happy,” Haechan says lowly, a tinge of worry in his voice.

“Gee, I wonder why. Surely it can’t have anything to do with your harassment–I mean, your experiment.” Renjun deadpans, and Haechan narrows his eyes at his friend who is not being very supportive right now.

“One day, you’ll have to answer for your treachery,” Haechan hisses at Renjun, who raises an uninterested eyebrow, before snatching up his textbook from the coffee table and pretending to read it.

“Haechan.” You’re standing in the living room with your hand on your hip, your phone in the other hand, and Haechan looks up at you as casually as can be, attempting to be the face of innocence. “First of all, you know that your book is upside-down, right?” You point out, already bored, and Haechan drops his gaze down to his textbook.

Ah. So it is.

“Secondly,” You continue as Haechan turns his book right-side-up, “I am going to say this once, and for your sake, you’d better not make me say it a second time.” You walk right up to Haechan and Renjun, barely sparing your mutual friend a glance to avoid making him feel as if he’s caught in the crossfire. “Please stop trying to AirDrop me.”

“It’s a funny meme! What, you don’t like memes?” Haechan exclaims defensively, and you blink twice at him.

“Haechan?”

“Hm?”

“That meme isn’t funny.”

“Ha! That’s what I said,” Renjun chortles to himself, and you do spare him a glance at that, a small smile quirking the corner of your mouth upwards.

“No, but seriously. Stop sending me AirDrop request after AirDrop request,” You warn him, and Haechan splutters indignantly as if he hasn’t just been sending you AirDrop request after AirDrop request.

“What is the point of sending me unfunny memes randomly, anyway?” You ask, confused, and Haechan sets his textbook down, closing the book just a second too late to avoid your keen eyes. “Did…did that say Pavlov?”

“Uh…no.” Haechan lies.

“Renjun, did that say Pavlov?”

“Sure did.”

“Thanks.”

“Traitor!” Haechan whispers, scandalized, in Renjun’s direction, and Renjun just shrugs.

“Haechan, you know that’s not how Pavlov’s experiments worked, right?” You say slowly, trying to hide your amusement.

“No, he does not know.” Renjun betrays Haechan once again as he doesn’t even look up, tapping on his phone. “He didn’t do the reading.”

“Is that why you texted me when I was laughing earlier?” You can barely conceal your amusement any longer, your bottom lip quivering as you try desperately not to laugh. “Haechan, by Pavlovian studies, wouldn’t that have just ruined the positive effect the laughing had and, if repeated, would’ve made me associate you with my happiness being cut short or ruined?”

“…Um.” Haechan’s got nothing. Maybe he really should have done the reading.

“You know what the best part of this all is?” Renjun remarks, finally amused. “She’s absolutely right. That was in the reading.”

“We did a brief unit on Pavlov in one of my Education classes,” You explain to Renjun. “We didn’t go that in depth, but we got the gist of it.”

“I think people forget that Education is actually kind of just… a different avenue of Psychology.” Renjun muses, and you nod emphatically, your eyes wide.

“I say that to my friends all the time!”

“Can you two stop flirting, for Christ’s sake?” Haechan snaps, sighing heavily.

“Hey, Haechan?” You say sweetly, and he looks up at you with a bewildered expression, never having heard you speak to him in that tone of voice. “It’s so fascinating that you’re a Psych major.”

“Really?”

“Yeah; because you’re in-fucking-sane.” You quip, and Renjun looks up from his phone immediately.

“I said that earlier!”

“Stop kissing her ass.”

“He’s closer than you’ve ever gotten,” You point out, and Haechan’s jaw drops in shock and offense.

“I can’t believe this.”

“You know, they have places for people like you, Haechan.” You say with a feigned concerned tone.

“Yeah, it’s called an asylum.” Renjun supplies helpfully (or traitorously, depending on who you ask), and Haechan gasps as you burst into laughter.

“Renjun, I like you. Haechan, are all your friends cooler than you? Can you move in and replace Haechan?” You ask Renjun, and he smiles goodnaturedly before patting Haechan’s shoulder, the recipient of the touch staring at Renjun’s hand with disdain before shrugging out of the gesture dramatically.

“I’m flattered, but my dorm setup is pretty cool.” Renjun explains, and you nod in understanding.

“Shame. Haechan, do you need any help with that?” You ask, gesturing to his textbook, and Haechan just stares between you and Renjun, unsure who’s going to attack first. “Hello? I can help you with your readings! I can read it out loud and show you the pretty pictures and you can help me turn the pages.” You smile sweetly at Haechan, and Renjun bursts out laughing.

“She’s good,” He snickers, holding his side as he laughs, and Haechan just glares at both of you.

“I’m going to my room.” He huffs before standing up, snatching his textbook off the table, and striding off to his bedroom with his nose in the air, literally, but not before shooting you both scornful glances.

“…Now what?” Renjun asks when you two are alone in the living room.

“Peace and quiet, Renjun,” You say with a relieved smile. “Peace and quiet.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“Yena!” You wail, throwing open your apartment door and shutting it behind you by lying against it and letting your weight push it closed. “Yena!” You cry again, toeing off your shoes after locking the door and shuffling sadly into the living room, where you see Jeno sitting on the couch, his legs propped up on the coffee table as he looks at his laptop. “Oh. Hi, Jeno. Is Yena here?”

“Hey! I’m not sure, actually. I got in about an hour ago and I haven’t seen her yet,” He answers, and you sigh loudly, collapsing on the couch next to him.

“Hi, sunshine,” A familiar voice sounds from behind you, and you groan, throwing your head back in anguish as Haechan walks around the couch, sitting on the other side of you.

“Dear God, not you,” You whine, and Jeno takes a moment to really look at you, the normally clueless male actually noticing something off in your tone.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jeno asks gently, nudging your knee, and your face twists up as you debate whether or not to tell Jeno—and Haechan, by proxy—what exactly you’re upset about. “If you wanna talk, I’m not busy,” He assures you, shutting his laptop and leaning forward to place it on the coffee table and wiggling his now free hands to demonstrate.

“…Fine,” You finally decide, shifting and angling your body towards Jeno, deliberately turning your back on Haechan, the sight of the male already pissing you off given the circumstances. “Jeno, you and I are about to become a lot closer as roommates and friends.”

“Oh, cool! Why’s that?” He asks curiously, and you pinch the bridge of your nose as you gather your thoughts to relay your tale of woe.

“You’re about to get exclusive girl talk gossip,” You explain, and his eyes widen in excitement and surprise, his whole body language shifting as he angles in towards you, now paying rapt attention. “You will not believe the fucking disaster of a hookup I just had.”

“Uh oh,” Jeno says, eagerly leaning forward to listen. Unbeknownst to you, given your deliberate obstruction of him from your line of sight, Haechan also leans closer to you to listen, eyes trained on the back of your head as if his visual of you could grant him real-life subtitles or something. “What happened? Who was it?”

“This dude from my Stats class,” You explain, waving a hand dismissively. “I don’t think you know him, so his name’s not important. It–oh, God, Jeno–first of all, he kept touching me like the dude was fuckin’ scared or something! Like I was a goddamn bomb he had to defuse or something, and super weak, soft touches does not a sexy hookup make.”

“Agreed,” Jeno nods in emphatic agreement. “You can’t be too scared; if you’re that scared, you should just not be hooking up.”

“Thank God you get it, because I’m about to scream. Jeno, it gets worse.” You say in a grave tone, and Jeno winces in anticipation, causing your fondness for the male to increase at his unexpectedly stellar gossip listening and contribution skills. “Jeno, I don’t think this dude had ever touched a clitoris before, let alone seen one.”

“No way,” Jeno gasps, and you can literally feel your anger subsiding somewhat as the male in front of you with a puppy-like excitement evokes an amused smile from you. “What’d he do?”

“At first he had trouble when he got his hand, like, down there, y’know?” You start to explain, and Jeno nods in understanding. “So I just let that go because the guy was clearly nervous in the first place, right? So I was trying to give him a chance to loosen up. So he starts, uh, rubbing, and…Jeno.”

“Yeah?”

“He wasn’t even close to anything of consequence. I couldn’t begin to wrap my head around what he thought he was doing.” You state, and Jeno snickers, evoking a chuckle of your own. “Then I get fed up pretty quickly of him rubbing my inner thigh in circles like he’s really doing something, so I shift my body under him so he’s closer to the right area–”

“Oh, that’s smart,” Jeno mumbles, impressed.

“Right? So I move myself and he moves his hand right back to where it was.” You say, thumping the couch once for emphasis that clearly lands properly as Jeno flinches at the sudden sound and movement. “So I got fed up again and grabbed his wrist and brought his hand, like, directly there, and even gave a little encouraging moan for when he was there—y’know, a little oh, yeah, right there, but…said all sexy-like, right? Jeno, guess what this idiot did.”

“He moved his hand away–”

“He moved his hand away! So I tried again, and he did it again! Like, how clueless can you be?! That’s like asking me where the bathroom is and I say, ‘Oh, it’s just down the hall to the right,’ and bring you to the door, and you…just turn and walk into the nearest wall and keep trying like a fucking Sims glitch or something!” You exclaim incredulously, and Jeno bursts into laughter, his eyes scrunching up in delight as he slaps his knee.

“I’m imagining it, and–I’m sorry, it’s not funny for you and he’s an idiot, but it’s such a funny mental image.” Jeno manages to get out, and you can’t even keep up your upset pout, your lips twitching with amusement from watching the infectiously happy male in front of you. “Okay, wait–okay. I’m good. I’m good now. Wh–what’d you do?” He finally manages to ask.

“I booed him.” You shrug, Jeno’s eyes widening as his jaw drops. “I literally booed him like it was Amateur Night at the Apollo Theater, and then I just left. If I’m not gonna cum—which I definitely wasn’t, if he had any say in the matter—then neither is he.” You huff indignantly, and Jeno nods in agreement, making you realize that he definitely helped you feel a lot better and more validated in your actions. You definitely didn’t expect the clueless, perpetually zoned-out Lee Jeno of all people to be an excellent contender for girl talk, but you won’t make the mistake of counting him out again. You’re about to thank Jeno for listening so well and making you feel better when Haechan speaks from behind you and you flinch hard, practically having forgotten he was still there.

“He definitely sounds like an amateur,” Haechan agrees, and you narrow your eyes suspiciously as you nod in agreement, waiting for the punchline to hit.

“…Yeah.” You say slowly, still watching Haechan skeptically.

“And an idiot.” He continues, and you grow even more suspicious.

“…Yeah?” You’re frozen watching Haechan, half-expecting and half-dreading the moment when he opens his mouth and makes everything worse—

“I definitely couldn’t relate to him,” He assures you with a small, confident nod and budding smirk.

“And there it is.” You sigh, both annoyed all over again and vindicated that you were right all along. “Haechan, now is not the time to gloat about your sexual prowess or whatever.” You warn him, holding up a hand to silence him and attempting to seek solace in Jeno, turning back to the other male, who is, to your surprise, shaking his head at Haechan as if also warning him against messing with you at the moment.

Impressed, you mentally give Jeno a point on a scoreboard of brownie points that you definitely just made up and will likely have no actual bearing on real life any time soon.

To your surprise, Haechan takes your hand in his, rubbing circles in the top of your hand that you reluctantly find soothing, and looks you in the eyes earnestly.

“Does the pretty girl not like being teased?” He asks, frowning in mock sympathy, and you scowl, yanking your hand free from his grip and standing up from the couch to head to your room. “Aw, come on!”

“Haechan,” You warn, whirling back around to face the aggravating Haechan and now worried Jeno, “I am annoyed, I am sexually frustrated, and generally not in the mood for your nonsense. Right now? Hell hath no fury like me. I’m going to my room.” You fire back at him, and he raises his hands as if in surrender.

“I was just saying–”

“I don’t really care what you were just saying.” You snap, and he licks his lips as his expression grows a bit more intrigued and his eyelids flutter slightly into the low-lidded sultry gaze Haechan has been known to give you, and you remember that he likes it when you’re like this. “You know what, Haechan? At this point, if you ever manage to get me in your bed and do as well as you’re always saying you can and will do, I will eat my words. I will have the fattest slice of humble pie. Okay? Until then, I am begging you to shut up.” You lecture, and Haechan just stares at you, mesmerized.

“…So I do have a chance.”

“Oh, my God, I’m going to my fucking room.” You growl, throwing your hands up in defeated frustration. “Thank you for your help, Jeno; it really means a lot to me.”

“No problem!” Jeno calls after you right before you round the corner into the hallway and make a beeline for your room, throwing yourself on the bed and screeching into your pillow, the fluffy down feather-filled cushion muffling most of your screams.

You lie there on your bed for the rest of the night, absolutely and painfully unaware of the plan Haechan is cooking up now that he believes he does have a chance with you.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“Haechan.”

“Yes?”

“Are you sure this is even legal?” Renjun asks worriedly, stress shown plainly in every feature on Haechan’s friend’s face.

“Now you’re just being dramatic,” Haechan chuckles dismissively, looking around at his other friends for support and scoffing in surprise and disbelief when no one speaks up to defend him. “Some friends you all are!”

“I feel like as your friends we should be doing exactly what we’re doing right now and telling you this is a terrible idea–” Renjun persists.

“Okay, maybe if you walk us through the plan again, you–it…the whole thing won’t sound so…unhinged.” Yangyang says slowly, and Haechan hesitates, unsure of how exactly to take the seemingly supportive but somewhat backhanded comment.

“…Okay,” Haechan finally decides to ignore it and let it slide, feeling like he should keep his one vocal supporter—or, at least, not an active naysayer—on his side. “So, she has five different sex toys, all of which are stored in various locations in her room, which I’ve got written down on my phone.”

“This feels like a massive invasion of her privacy.” Mark groans, his expression anxious. “Yo, how did you even get this information?”

“I don’t even think I want to know,” Renjun sighs, his voice oddly muffled, causing Haechan to look over at him and roll his eyes at his friend, who’s buried his face in his crossed arms on the table.

“…Anyway…I’m going to sneak in and gradually hide all of her sex toys in my room, taking one every couple of days so she won’t catch on immediately.” Haechan explains, and Jaemin’s incredibly disapproving expression has Haechan rushing to defend himself. “I’m not gonna do anything creepy with them—”

“Is the ‘not creepy’ part happening before or after you literally steal her sex toys–”

“Renjun, let me finish! I’m literally just gonna hold onto them and wait for her sexual frustration to build to the point where she literally won’t be able to resist me anymore,” Haechan finishes proudly, and Yangyang, the very reason why the plan was even repeated, stares down at his folded hands blankly for what Haechan would consider an uncomfortably long time. “…So, Yangyang? What do you think?”

“I think,” Yangyang starts, “that…is a very bad idea. Zero out of ten, absolutely would not recommend it to a friend and, because you’re my friend, Haechan, I’m going to recommend, instead, that you do literally anything else at this point.”

“Look, I know it sounds bad, but I swear it’s not,” Haechan attempts to explain himself, but Jaemin finally pipes up.

“Maybe it sounds bad because it is bad, Haechan.” He says slowly. “The sheer fact that you gathered everyone—me, Yangyang, Renjun, and Mark—but neglected to include Jeno, your other roommate, speaks volumes.”

“Jeno has a big mouth.” Haechan mumbles petulantly, and Jaemin fixes him in place with a stern stare that gives Haechan infinitely more faith in Jaemin’s future in education.

“In this situation, I’m pretty sure that’s called a fucking conscience.” Renjun quips, lifting his head from his arms to glare at Haechan. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m not, and I need you guys to have my back on this–”

“We do not.”

“–because I need someone to stand guard when I go in her room.” Haechan finishes, and Renjun bursts out into a fit of incredulous laughter.

“Absolutely not.” He says firmly when he’s finished laughing, and Haechan deflates, looking at Jaemin, who raises an eyebrow as if to say, what do you think? He turns his gaze to Yangyang who pantomimes wiping his hands clean and raising them in a manner that states, I want nothing to do with this. Haechan meets Mark’s eye and, at Mark’s uncomfortable silence, smiles hopefully.

“Mark? What about it?”

“I think…” Mark says carefully, “I would rather violate every last one of the Ten Commandments and directly flip off the sky.”

“You’re all horrible,” Haechan grunts in frustration, packing up his bag quickly and standing up, giving them all a disdainful glance before leaving the library.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Later that day, after reworking his plan slightly, Haechan goes into your room and enacts Phase 1 of his new and improved, slightly less alarming plan: replacing the batteries of the sex toys with completely drained ones.

Thankfully for Haechan, only two toys take batteries and, conveniently enough, they’re the same batteries Jeno and Haechan frequently blow through for their gaming controllers, the discarded batteries collecting in a jar by the kitchen trash can until someone in the house has any idea of how best to dispose of them safely. Haechan performs the switcheroo and quickly exits the bedroom, making sure to scour the house for any replacement batteries you could use.

Over the course of two and a half weeks, Haechan has sabotaged two of your toys with dead batteries, hidden the charger that charges two of your other toys, and simply taken your last toy when it became clear to him that the toy doesn’t take any type of battery that you all have lying around the house and that the charger cord for that toy is frustratingly commonplace.

Haechan has also, to his delight, noticed a significant shift in your mood, your demeanor gradually becoming easily frustrated and more irritable, and he figures it’s only a matter of time before he has you beating down his door for some…sexual healing.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The tranquility of your time alone in the apartment is promptly ruined when Haechan unlocks the front door and comes in to see you on the couch, comfortably reading a book.

“My favorite roommate,” Haechan greets fondly, and you barely spare him a glance as you wave half-heartedly. “Wanna do me a favor?” You look back up at him, slightly amused at the prospect of wanting to do anything for him.

“Whatever you’re going to ask, the answer is no.” You say nonchalantly, turning the page in your book.

“Help me dye my hair pink,” He continues on as if you haven’t spoken, coming to sit on the couch with you. You look up at him, blink slowly, and return your gaze to your book.

“Are you in the witness protection program or something?” You ask with a small chuckle, and he smiles, letting out an amused exhale.

“No.”

“Lose a bet?”

“No, I–”

“Are you having an impulsive episode? Are you prone to these often? As a Psych major you should know that these could be part of larger manic episodes, and–”

“No!” Haechan insists, cutting you off, and you place your bookmark in your book and close it, looking at him curiously. “I literally just thought I’d look cool with pink hair.” He mumbles, and you sigh.

“Let me see a picture.” You say, and he fishes his phone out from his jacket pocket, swiping a couple of times before he shows you a picture of a guy around his skin tone with a pretty shade of pink in his hair. “Oh. Yeah, that could look good.” You remark, somewhat surprised, and Haechan sits forward excitedly, already smiling at you.

“So you’ll help me?” He asks hopefully, and you raise an eyebrow in his direction.

“What’s in it for me?” You reply, and he grins, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Quality time with yours truly.”

“…How about something I actually want.”

“Fine,” Haechan frowns slightly, looking around the room thoughtfully. “I’ll do your chores for a week, not including dishes.”

“Mm…nope.”

“Aw, man! …Including dishes?” He offers, and you shrug, inspecting your nails.

“More.”

“You can have, uh…$30 worth of my meal points.” He tacks on in a last-ditch attempt, and your eyes widen as you turn to face him with a smile.

“Deal.”

“Really?” He asks happily, and you nod. “Holy shit.” He mumbles, surprised, and you snort, amused.

“I thought you wanted this outcome.” You point out, and he nods.

“I did—I do! I just…figured it’s better to expect disappointment.” He replies, and you shrug again as you nod in agreement.

“Fair.”

“So, when can you do it?” He asks, and you swing your legs off of the couch, planting them on the rug.

“When can you get everything you need?” You ask, and he sits back slightly to show you a black plastic bag with the name of your local beauty supply.

“I have it! I ordered the dye on Amazon and got the bleach from the beauty supply so someone could help me pick the right stuff.” He answers with a proud smile, and you can’t help but nod, impressed.

“Wow, you’re really being smart about this.” You praise him, and he practically preens under your praise, sitting up a bit straighter and everything. “Okay, go set up the stuff in the bathroom and let Jeno know we’re gonna tie up whichever bathroom you choose until we’re done.” Haechan nods eagerly and rushes off to do what you’ve asked, doing a little jump to click his heels together that has you biting back a laugh. “Haechan, change your shirt to something you don’t care about!”

“You got it!” He calls back, and you get up to do the same, placing your book on the coffee table.

Once Haechan has everything set up, you meet him in the bathroom, having changed into a random t-shirt you found in your drawer that’s already worse for wear with a couple of holes riddled in the fabric.

“Okay, how do you wanna do this?” You ask, and he shrugs.

“I mean, you can sit on the counter and I can sit in front of you?” He suggests, pointing at the chair you and Yena use to store your extra bathing supplies that don’t fit in the shower itself.

“Sounds good to me,” You agree, and he sets about moving your and Yena’s stuff off of the chair, setting it gingerly on the floor and carrying the chair over to the sink where you’re already sitting, stirring the bleach solution. “Sit,” You urge, gesturing at the chair in front of you, and he complies, settling down between your legs and pulling his phone out, scrolling through it absentmindedly as you start to part his hair and apply the bleach carefully and efficiently. “So, I never thought to ask; why’d you ask me to do this?”

“Well, I remembered when Yena dyed her hair towards the end of last semester and she said you helped her do it, so I figured I could try and ask you for help this time.” He answers, and you pause for a second, surprised he remembered.

“Oh.” You muse softly, and he hums in acknowledgment, leaning his head to the side so his cheek is on your inner thigh. You narrow your eyes suspiciously, but say nothing, continuing to apply the bleach, now going back to do his roots. It’s not until a couple of minutes later when Haechan nuzzles his cheek against your bare thigh and sighs dreamily that you decide to comment. “You sound like you’re in heaven.”

“Mm, if this were really heaven, I’d be facing the opposite direction right now, and we’d have a lot less clothing on.” He replies with a flirtatious lilt, and you scoff, bopping him on the head with the comb you’ve been using to part his hair.

“Pervert.” You scold, and he just chuckles, leading you to narrow your eyes and bop him again, the male startling this time and spluttering indignantly.

“What was that one for?” He asks with a laugh, and you huff.

“I didn’t even have to see you to know that you did that sleazy eyebrow thing that pisses me off.” You retort, and he chuckles mischievously.

“You know me so well.” His reply sounds smug, and you roll your eyes.

“Unfortunately. Now shut up and let me focus on this.” You mumble, tilting his head back slightly to check the front of his scalp. You can hear Haechan breathe in deeply as you lean over him slightly, his head turning inwards slightly when you release him, and his lips graze lightly against your bare inner thigh, the faintest of puckers giving you the suspicion it wasn’t just a little accident and making you freeze after you finish setting the timer for the bleach to sit.

“Did you just kiss my thigh?” You ask incredulously, and Haechan lets out what must be the guiltiest scoff you’ve ever heard.

“No?”

“You definitely did.” You insist, and he huffs, turning his head in towards your thigh even more.

“If I’d kissed your thigh, it would’ve felt like this,” Haechan counters, and leans in, pressing his parted lips to your inner thigh in a sudden, unmistakable kiss that has you gasping in surprise. His tongue peeks out to swipe along the skin before he sucks gently at the spot, releasing the flesh with a wet smacking noise (just in time, too, because you were about to let out a moan that would have made things awkward) and finishes, “and you would have known.” At your silence, he turns to look at you to see you still somewhat frozen in shock, his wet kiss mark practically burning a hole in your skin, and he smirks, standing up and pushing the chair out of the way to stand between your legs. “What?” He says softly, teasingly. “No witty remark? Nothing clever to say?”

“I don’t know–shut up–I didn’t like that.” You blurt out, caught off-guard, and he raises a brow in amusement.

“I don’t think I asked if you liked that,” Haechan points out, voice still soft as his fingertips ghost along your thighs. “So are you telling me you didn’t like it…or are you trying to convince yourself that you didn’t?” His face is dangerously close to yours at this point, his soft exhales fanning your lips with his warm breath, minty from the gum he’s chewing.

“I–you–shut up,” You mumble, moving to push him back with a knee pressed to his stomach. He catches your leg, one hand placed over your knee and the other cupping under your thigh right by your knee, and looks down at it then up at you with a small smirk.

“You know, I’ve always known you were stunning, but…” Haechan murmurs, moving his hand off of your knee and using the grip of his other hand to move your leg to the side, stepping back in between your legs. “I don’t think I ever noticed your eyes were this pretty.” He marvels softly, looking you directly in the eyes with a gaze both admiring and intense that unnerves you.

“…Is this how you flirt with everyone?” You reply, voice equally as soft but thankfully steady, your resolve having returned to you somewhat, and Haechan chuckles, looking down at his hand holding your leg before looking up at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Only the really pretty—stunning, actually—girls who, uh, live with me,” He replies, his hand slipping higher up on the underside of your thigh, “and who help me dye my hair,” Haechan leans in towards you, smiling when you don’t immediately lean back, “and who make very pretty sounds when I kiss them right here,” from his grip of your leg, the tip of his middle finger presses into the spot where his lips just were, heat flaring up there once more as you remember just how good his mouth felt on your skin.

“Oh,” You whisper, lost for words, and he chuckles softly.

“Oh,” He mimics you, leaning in even closer, and you’re a goner, you just know it, because he’s so close and maybe you do kind of want to know what kissing him would be like, and—

“Oh, my God.” Jeno’s cry rings through the house, and you both jolt in surprise, startled by your usually calm roommate’s sudden increase in volume. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God.”

You peek at Haechan who, you find, is already looking at you, his eyes trained on your mouth with a determination you don’t believe you can handle, so you push him back with your knee slowly, waiting for his gaze to drag back up to your eyes to speak.

“We, um,” You clear your throat and hold your phone up in his face, the timer now showing twenty minutes to go. “Have twenty minutes left.”

“I can think of what we can do to pass the time,” Haechan starts, a cocky little smirk appearing on his face, but you hold a hand up to silence him.

“Jeno is still screaming,” You point out, and Haechan cocks his head to the side, eyes widening as he realizes that Jeno is in fact still groaning and wailing in anguish. “So I’m gonna check on him. I’ll be back soon and if I’m not back, wash your hair out thoroughly and pat it dry with this t-shirt when that timer goes off.” You press the t-shirt in your hand to his chest and look at him seriously, trying to ignore the way Haechan watches you with his brows raised, smirking with his tongue pressed in his cheek.

Haechan nods in understanding and you mirror him, turning on your heel and heading to check on Jeno.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“I’m back!” You say as you open the bathroom door to see Haechan sitting on the floor by the chair and scrolling through his phone. There are about five minutes left on the timer when you check and you sit in the chair, leaning over to check Haechan’s hair, which has lightened very nicely.

“Did you find out why he was screaming?” Haechan asks curiously, and you chuckle as you remember the conversation you had with Jeno.

“Someone spoiled some show he’s always watching, and now he’s super upset.” You answer. “It’s not funny, because he seems genuinely bummed, but it was just funny to me that, of all things, that set him off, y’know?”

“He is pretty chill,” Haechan seems to understand, amused, before his brows furrow in thought. “I’ll check on him when we’re done here; make sure he’s not about to Jeno Smash or anything.” He jokes, receiving an amused snicker from you.

“That would be nice of you,” You agree, removing your hands from his hair and tapping his shoulder. “Go wash it out.” Haechan obeys, standing up and heading over to the shower, and you scroll through your phone while you wait, trying not to stare at the way his back muscles move under his shirt, and how when he finishes, his head and shoulders are dripping wet, only further accentuating his back muscles. He turns and locks eyes with you, and you realize instantly that you don’t think you ever needed to see what Haechan looks like dripping wet for your mental health.

“…the t-shirt?” Haechan says, and you realize with a jolt that he must have been talking that whole time.

“Sorry, what? Spaced out.” You mumble, standing up and passing him the t-shirt just in case, and he smirks, stepping closer to you as he starts to pat his hair dry.

“I could tell; too busy checking me out to answer me, hm?” He teases, and you swallow thickly, attempting to come up with some sort of cover.

“Sorry,” You mutter, unable to come up with anything, and he raises a brow in intrigue as he finishes patting his hair dry, moving even closer to you.

“So you were checking me out?” He confirms, his eyes lighting up at your silence. “You can stop apologizing and make it up to me another way, y’know.” He offers, and you inch backwards ever so slightly, Haechan slowly but surely backing you up against the sink.

“I, um–” You stammer, truly and utterly lost for words as Haechan closes in, his damp, now blond hair steadily dripping water onto your bare legs. Each drop, lukewarm water now gone cold, is a reality check, the droplets traveling higher up your legs the closer he gets to you.

“You can make it up to me,” Haechan murmurs, placing his hands on the sink on either side of you and leaning in until your mouths are but a breath apart, “like this,” He breathes, and moves to connect your lips. You have about a millisecond to process that Lee Haechan is about to kiss you, and that you have less than a millisecond to figure out whether or not you want him to. His lips just slightly brush against yours before you can lean away slightly in favor of grabbing the t-shirt Haechan was using to dry his hair. You can feel Haechan watching you, his expression too amused and smug for your liking, but you refuse to look at him just yet, barely watching what you’re doing as you tousle Haechan’s hair, drying it some more as his hands busy themselves with gliding up and down your thighs.

”Stop touching me or you’re on your own for the rest of this hair adventure.” You huff, and he snickers.

“Fine,” He agrees easily—too easily—and moves his hands back to the counter top. Just when you’re about to look at him again, he leans in close to your ear, his smirk practically audible as he murmurs, “I know you liked that, though.”

“You’re annoying me,” You warn him, pushing him back slightly.

“I think it’s pronounced arousing,” He corrects you, and you blink at him impassively.

“No, I think it’s actually pronounced annoying,” You grouch, leaning over to reach for your blow dryer, looking back at him to shoot him a glare. “I can’t plug this in with you practically on top of me.”

“Then let’s stay like this for a moment,” Haechan suggests with a grin. “My hair can air dry.”

“No, it can’t,” You mimic his tone, pushing him back enough so you can plug your blow dryer in. “I have a book to get back to.”

“Fine,” He complies, tilting his head down so you can start blow-drying his hair. When you turn it off for a minute to check his hair, Haechan moves to say something, prompting you to turn it back on and blow air in his face. When you turn it back off, he tries again, only for you to turn it back on with a slowly growing smile. The cycle continues until you’re laughing too hard to work the buttons properly, Haechan’s frustrated expression slipping into an amused one as he watches your amusement. “I like seeing you smile. You have a cute laugh.”

You just side-step the laugh compliment, not agreeing with him, and pat his cheek twice. “You’d see it more if you weren’t so irritating.”

“All I do is flirt with you!” He replies defensively, and you look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Exactly. You’re a terrible flirt, you know.” You tell him, and he shrugs casually.

“Couldn’t be that terrible if I almost got you to kiss me earlier.” He points out with a cocky grin.

“That was a momentary lapse of sanity,” You defend yourself, Haechan snorting in amusement.

“Call it what you want, but I almost got a kiss,” He teases. You roll your eyes and pinch his ear, grinning when he yelps in pain, and guide him to sit on the chair, standing in front of him to start applying the pink dye to his now dry hair. You work in silence, Haechan scrolling through his phone until he nudges your hip with his phone to get your attention. When you look down at him, he shows you a video on his phone, letting you take it from his hand to watch as he says, “I thought you’d like this.”

It’s a TikTok of Brittany Broski, and your lips quirk upwards in amusement immediately, a laugh bubbling forth before the video ends, and you hand him back the phone with a smile on your lips.

“You thought right,” You say with a smile, and he grins up at you. “Brittany Broski is actually holding my mental stability together with old, weakening washi tape and Elmer’s glue.” You muse, and Haechan spits out a sudden, unexpected laugh.

“That doesn’t sound promising,” He snickers, and you shrug with a chuckle.

“It’s not, really,” You say honestly, and he makes a noise that should be sympathetic, but is too shaky from his laughter to sound as genuine as it should. “But she is doing her best, and that’s what matters.”

“Maybe I should study you,” Haechan jokes. “I could be your therapist for my Psychology final.”

“You’re aware that you’re, like, insane, right?” You laugh. “It’d be like the blind leading the blind.” You finish applying the dye and tilt his head this way and that to make sure you didn’t miss any spots with the dye, and pull off your gloves, throwing them in the garbage. “Okay, I’m all done with the dye,” You let him know, and he nods, humming in acknowledgment. You reach over him slightly to grab your phone, standing back up, and as you set another timer, you feel a slight tugging on your shirt. You peek down to see that Haechan’s finger is hooked in a hole on your shirt and he’s absentmindedly tugging as he scrolls through his phone with his other hand.

“Can I help you?” You ask, mildly amused, and he looks up at you, pulling his finger from the hole in your shirt, and grins widely.

“I don’t know,” He muses, slipping his phone in his back pocket. “Was just thinking.”

“I thought we told you to stop doing that.”

“Funny,” He replies sarcastically before he sits back in the chair and looks up at you. He really is painting an attractive picture, his legs spread as he watches you with a smile and an inviting look in his eyes. “God, I can’t take this anymore,” He complains, and all you get as a warning for what’s to come is the feeling of his hands sliding up the backs of your thighs, Haechan gripping your ass and pulling you in and down so you’re seated clumsily, one of his legs having wormed its way between yours and your chest pressing against his.

Your yelp of surprise rings out with his groan of satisfaction as both of you get the full sensation of your position, his firm thigh pressing against the seat of your shorts and your breasts pressed against his chest.

“Haechan, I’m gonna kill you.” You gasp, and he shushes you, hands moving up to grip your hips, fingers digging in with a desperation that takes you by surprise.

“You see how this…just feels right?” He murmurs, his voice strained, looking up at you, and it’s a testament to his looks that he can still almost pull you with his hair all slicked up and messy and not in the attractive way.

You don’t know about right, but it sure does feel good.

“Now if you just…kissed me,” He purrs, winding his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. You groan in protest, pushing his shoulders feebly, and he looks up at you, clearly unimpressed. “You know you could push harder than that. You like this, don’t you?”

“Let me go,” You huff, and he releases you immediately, raising an eyebrow when you don’t move yet. He winds his arms back around you and you splutter out a protest. “Haechan!”

“You literally didn’t move.” He points out flatly, bouncing his leg once experimentally and smirking when your hands fly to grip his shoulders, the beginning of a moan leaving you before you stifle it with an abrupt clearing of your throat.

“Haechan, I’m gonna leave.” You warn him, and he leans in, pulling you closer so you two are practically already kissing.

“Then go,” He breathes, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips as he waits before he shoots you a crooked grin and leans in to close the gap, your lips barely touching before your phone goes off with a notification and startles you out of your trance. “You’re such a tease,” He groans when you push yourself off of his lap, smoothing the invisible wrinkles out of your clothes before picking up your phone and checking it, trying to calm your pounding heart.

It’s just a notification from a food delivery app, but all this Haechan-induced stress has built up quite the appetite for you, so you decide you will take advantage of the little promo code they’ve offered you. Maybe a little…alone time, a nap, and a meal when you wake up. You’ve been pent up lately and haven’t had much time to yourself, not getting to get yourself off for over a week and a half.

“I’m not a tease, you’re just incapable of keeping it in your pants.” You shoot back, and he scoffs, standing up from the chair and moving over to you.

“I don’t think you even want it in my pants.” He counters, and you snort, amused.

“I ‘want it’ away from me.” You mumble, pushing him back with one hand. “Look, I’ll be back in a bit, probably around when the timer goes off. If I’m not, rinse it out.”

“Where are you going?” He asks curiously as you head for the bathroom door.

“Away from you,” You answer honestly, and Haechan makes a sound of hurt that you roll your eyes at before shutting the door behind you and making a beeline for your room to screech into your pillow. You lie on your bed for an uncomfortably short time before you hear your phone timer go off from the bathroom where you left it with Haechan, sighing and swinging your legs off the bed to head back to him. You take a breath to center yourself before entering the bathroom, and he’s just finished rinsing the dye out and is turning to face you.

“How does it look?” He asks, and you marvel at how…

“Good,” You answer, surprised at how even the color is and how nicely it flatters his skin tone. “Haechan, it looks really fucking good.” You say honestly, and he grins as he grabs the t-shirt to dry his hair. Something about the way his forearm muscles are tensing is too overwhelming and you find your gaze slipping to your phone which you pick up, immediately looking through your notifications.

“You look really fucking good,” Haechan replies, and you roll your eyes without looking up. A shadow crosses over your phone and a water droplet hits your screen, making you glower up at the grinning male in front of you.

“Haechan?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.” You scoff, and he groans.

“I was getting to you.” He laments. “I shouldn’t have let you leave the room earlier.”

“Let me–Haechan, you don’t ‘let’ me do anything,” You laugh incredulously. “As a matter of fact, I’m gonna let you finish your hair on your own. The hard part’s done; just blow dry it.”

“Aw, come on, I didn’t mean it like that,” He whines, and you shrug.

“Don’t care. Good luck with your hair.” You wave your fingers in a wave as you leave amidst his complaints.

Looks like your afternoon with yourself just got bumped up, you think to yourself as you head to your room and get to pulling out your vibrator.

“Huh…weird.” You mumble in confusion when it’s not where you usually put it. You go and look for your other toys only to see that all of them are completely drained and the chargers or replacement batteries are nowhere to be found. You work yourself up into a bit of a frenzy trying to find something you can use to get yourself off and stop abruptly when you realize that you have one very good lead as to what happened to them.

“I’m gonna kill him,” You spit, whirling around on your heel and storming out of your room to find the alleged culprit.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“Lee fucking Donghyuck.” You stomp into his room, the door banging loudly against the wall from the force of your well-placed kick.

“Ooh, not the government name,” Haechan chuckles, and his nonchalance only enrages you further, the male in question lying relaxed on his bed. “And you kicked in my door? Someone’s not happy,” He sing-songs, and you could scream, you’re so infuriated.

“Shut the fuck up, you insufferable fucking twat, and give me my fucking sex toys back.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Haechan meets your furious gaze with an unbothered obstinance that, honestly, makes you understand why people kill people.

“I will kill you and they will never find your body.” Your voice is low and level, but you’re practically vibrating with energy stemming from your fury towards Haechan, your frustration about the fact that you so desperately want to throttle him even though he’d probably like it, and, if you’re being honest, arousal. You’re beyond sexually frustrated at this point, you have no form of release, and you’re not going to use your fingers like a fucking cavewoman; it’s 2022, for fuck’s sake.

It is also not helping matters at fucking all that Haechan’s position on his bed is disgustingly attractive and sickeningly inviting; his legs spread and his feet flat on the bed, he gives you a full view of everything going on between his legs, his light grey shorts leaving enough to the imagination to have your eyes greedily roaming his tan, bare thighs.

“Someone looks a little pent-up,” Haechan muses, straightening out his legs so they’re still spread somewhat, and you dig your nails into the palm of your hands, wrapping your thumb on the outside of your fist just in case you need to start swinging—which, if you two continue down this path, you will. He cocks his head to the side and it kills you how attractive he looks right now, his vibrant pink hair tousled off his forehead and you want to pull his hair so hard he moans—cries.

You meant cries.

“Maybe you should relax, practice some self-love.” The quirk of a smile at the corners of his mouth combined with the way he subtly flicks his eyebrow upward have you burning white-hot with rage as you storm over to his bed and slam his laptop shut.

“I can’t practice any fucking self-love, dipshit,” You sneer. “You’ve made sure of that.”

“Again—no clue what you’re on about.” Haechan must be a little bit smarter than you thought, because despite his sticking to his story, you do see a momentary flash of panic in his eyes.

“I will turn this room upside down and inside out until I find them. I will take a hammer to whatever fucking gaming console that is in the living room—“

“Okay!” He caves instantly, and you raise an eyebrow.

“Okay, what?”

“Okay, I have your toys.” He announces with a smug little smile that just makes you want to sock him directly in the jaw.

“You’re a fucking ass for taking them in the first place–not to mention a creep.” You scoff, placing one hand on your hip. “Now give them back.”

“No, I don’t think I will.” Haechan replies casually.

You blink twice. “What?”

“I don’t wanna give you your toys back.” He says simply, shrugging in such a lackadaisical manner that your indignation and fury are put on hold in favor of bewilderment.

“…Why not?” You reply, your tone far too flat for it to have any sort of inquisitive inflection, but it hangs in the air between you two, an unspoken demand for an answer.

“Did you know I’m bigger than the biggest toy you have?” Haechan inquires, his responding question a roundabout way of answering yours.

“I didn’t ask.”

“I know–I’m telling.”

“Well, stop it.” You huff, your mind making way for your frustration once more. He runs his fingers through his hair, and you falter for a moment, your mouth feeling drier than it was before. “Haechan, I don’t have all fucking day; give me my toys.”

“Or what?” He grins widely at you. “You won’t trash any of the gaming equipment because Jeno uses it too…so what’s your ultimatum, pretty?”

“Fine.” You practically snarl, breathing in deeply in an attempt to calm yourself somewhat. It fails. “I’ll just use your toothbrush,” You counter, smiling sweetly. “It’s the electric one, right? Interesting vibrations, but I bet I could make it work.”

“That’s the one,” Haechan confirms, his eyes now shamelessly eyeing you from top to bottom. “Do me a favor and don’t rinse it when you’re done.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“You brought it up!”

“Yeah, as a joke, you little freak!” You cry, exasperated.

“Whatever,” He replies, having the audacity to look somewhat put out.

“I can’t fucking stand you, Haechan.” You growl, pinching the bridge of your nose to offset the headache you’re sure is coming on.

“Careful–talk to me nicely if you want your toys back.” He reminds you.

Your eye twitches.

“Fuck being nice; I’ll sue you.” You blurt out, and Haechan laughs at that, only further enraging you.

“Oh, yeah? Sue me for what?”

“Theft!”

“Right,” He drawls as he finally swings his legs off of the bed and stands up. “How are you gonna look when you’re standing in front of a judge and jury, whining and pouting because of a…Large Purple Vibrating Jelly Dong with G-spot Stimulation?”

“Hey!” You squawk, offended. “…The large purple one doesn’t have g-spot stimulation.” Your defensive retort filters out as a sheepish mumble when you realize the absurdity of your words.

“Fun fact: mine is large.” Haechan starts, and you groan loudly, pressing your hands over your ears, attempting to drown him out to no avail. “It’s firmer than that weird fucking rubber, silicone shit they use, and I can definitely stimulate your g-spot.” He finishes proudly, and you blink impassively at him, willing yourself to calm down before you do something you’ll regret.

“You’re not purple,” You counter, “and you can’t vibrate.”

“Slap a vibrating cock ring on me and I’m vibrating, baby.” Haechan answers so smoothly that you wonder for a moment if he practiced this. “Thankfully for me, my dick is nowhere near purple.”

“Wish it was,” You mutter bitterly. “Maybe that’d knock you down a few pegs.”

“I still have a fully functioning mouth and set of hands,” He points out, unperturbed by the dismissive scoff you let out. “You can huff and puff all you want; I could have you losing your mind if you just gave me a fucking chance–”

“Why the fuck would I give you a chance, you fucking dimwit–“

“I could go down on you for hours–“

“You stole my fucking sex toys–”

“The ends justify the means–“

“This cannot be real. There’s no way this is actually happening. Maybe I’m having a nightmare.”

“This is very much real life,” Haechan snickers, reaching for your arm with his index and thumb out as if he’s going to pinch you. Your body reacts before you even know what’s happening.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Haechan, I could actually murder you right now!” You yell, smacking his hand away from you. You don’t stop there, pushing Haechan’s shoulders roughly so he falls back onto his bed, his eyes wide in surprise and, if you’re not mistaken, unadulterated enjoyment. You pause, your gazes meeting, and you have never seen anyone look at you with this much blatant desire, let alone Haechan. “Is this seriously turning you on right now?!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about–“ He shifts slightly on the bed, adjusting his legs as if he’s uncomfortable. You look down at his lap and–

“Dude, your dick is hard!” You yell, and his eyes widen as he shushes you quickly, moving to sit up. “Don’t you fucking move.” You order, and he freezes, very visibly contemplating whether or not to listen, but he must finally see the very thin thread of your sanity pulled alarmingly taut because he obliges, reclining back into his somewhat vulnerable position.

You’re staring at Haechan, unmoving as you contemplate escalating to physical violence, and it hits you again, as he lies on his back on his bed and his eyes have this almost burning intensity to them as he watches you intently, that Lee Donghyuck is fine as fuck.

You’re talking, like, really fine–one of the finest guys in your year, for sure. You could even say top five, honestly–

…You want to fuck Haechan. You are coming to the full realization and stony, bitter even, acceptance of the fact that you are unequivocally turned on by Haechan and you would fuck him in a heartbeat if the circumstances were favorable for once. You could just be delirious, though; the pent-up sexual frustration building in you from this whole week could just be directing itself at the first attractive person you see, who happens to be the very cause of your lack of release this whole week. Now you’re angry again, but still turned on, but angry that you’re turned on, and this is such a whirlwind and your head hurts–

You haven’t moved or spoken in a while, you realize belatedly. You and Haechan have been frozen in the same positions, Haechan’s probing gaze somehow never faltering as he watches you tensely. You briefly scan your surroundings for something you can use to attack him without injuring anything but his pride, and your eyes land on his pillow.

Haechan follows your gaze, and his eyes widen in alarm. You both lunge for the pillow, and you realize a moment after you’ve grabbed it with one hand that Haechan seems very invested in keeping the pillow where it is, the male pushing it down in place. You yank the pillow roughly, shifting it a few inches, and keep yanking it as the two of you scuffle, both of you grunting with effort and muttering determinedly under your breath.

After what feels like ages of a stupid game of tug-of-war, Haechan seems to give up, shoving his hand under the pillow and removing it quickly, hiding his hand behind his back, but it’s too late–you’d know that specific shade of pink that you just saw a flash of anywhere.

“You kept my vibrator under your pillow?” You can barely contain your shriek of disbelief, and at least Haechan has enough self-awareness to look somewhat sheepish as he gets to his feet once more, now on the opposite side of his bed as an attempt to keep his distance. “Oh, my God.”

“Listen–”

“Under your pillow–”

“Keep your voice down–”

“It’s not like you’re gonna get fucked by proximity, or association, or osmosis or some shit–”

“Would you shut up?” Haechan hisses in the most irritated tone that you think you’ve ever heard him speak to you with, and it startles you into a stunned silence.

Haechan’s relief is short-lived.

“...You stole my vibrator…among my other toys.” You say slowly, staring him down and speaking as if he’s stupid. “You kept my vibrator under your pillow…and you think you get to tell me to shut up?”

“Look–” Haechan sighs, and now he’s pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No, you look, Mr. Sex Toy Stealer,” You snap irritably, and his jaw clenches as he visibly struggles not to roll his eyes.

You hate how attractive that was.

“I don’t know what you thought this was going to accomplish. Did you think this would work like–like…a kinky version of the Tooth Fairy or something? You’d sleep with my vibrator under your pillow and would wake up to your dick in my mouth or something?” You huff, brows furrowed in confusion and incredulity.

“No–”

“I’m talking, not you.” You glare at him, and he falls silent once more, visibly annoyed as he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

Again–disgustingly attractive.

“Anyway,” You continue, “I can’t even figure out, for the life of me, why you’re so hellbent on sleeping with me. You hype yourself up to me all the time, talking about your stamina, your abilities, the size of your dick–you name it, I’ve probably fucking heard it.” You throw your hands up in the air exasperatedly, pointing at Haechan with a smug expression. “You know what? I bet you’re bluffing.” You muse thoughtfully, and you have to take a moment to thank the powers that be for not letting you miss out on his incredible, albeit slightly unexpected reaction.

His eyebrows shoot upwards, eyes widen, jaw drops, and Haechan manages to look offended, incredulous, and pissed all at once. You never expected your jab to receive such a rewarding reaction, and now you’re curious to see how far you can push him until he…well, you don’t really know what he’ll do, which is exactly why you want to find out.

“I am not bluffing.” Haechan says slowly, staring you directly in the eyes with a certain unnerving darkness to his gaze that you’ve never seen from him before.

“Mm, you probably are.” You hum thoughtfully, starting to walk around his bed towards him, Haechan only watching you with his same unreadable expression as you get closer and closer.

“Watch it.” He warns you, and your devilishly gleeful grin widens.

“Or what, Haechan?” Your voice is dangerously quiet to Haechan, sweeter than he’s ever heard you sound, and among his alarm and frustration with you, he feels his cock stirring in his pants with intrigue and arousal. “What is Mr. Pencil Dick-”

“Hey–”

“Sex Toy Stealer gonna do?” You’re even closer now, voice even softer and sweeter than it was before. Haechan is glowering down at you and you’re smiling sweetly at him, your mutual switch in demeanors not lost on the both of you.

“Pencil Dick?” Haechan scoffs, and you shrug. “You’ve literally seen my dick print.”

“So?” You reply casually, to which Haechan rolls his eyes. “That’s just a print. Could be a trick of the light.”

“You know good and well it’s not just a fucking print–” He growls, and you raise your hands in mock surrender.

“Fine!” You seem to acquiesce, and Haechan raises a brow, staring at you as if waiting for the punchline to hit. He is not mistaken. “Big or not, you have to know how to use it, and you…don’t seem like you do.” You’re blatantly lying now; Haechan does seem more than capable of using his dick, but you need to get under his skin the way he does yours.

“Fine.” He replies with an air of finality, and you raise an eyebrow.

“Fine?”

“You want your toy so bad?” He replies, wagging it teasingly in your line of sight, and your eyes narrow.

“Duh.”

“Come over here and take it from me.” If you were focusing on anything other than the hot pink vibrator in his hand, you’d have noticed the dangerous glint in his eye along with his challenging tone.

“Fine.” You scoff, striding over to him so you two are practically face to face. You reach for it, your hand level with his shoulder, and he moves it just out of your reach.

“Try again.” He sing-songs, and you growl under your breath, reaching for it again only for the same thing to happen. “Come on, pretty girl, I thought you wanted it?”

“Haechan, stop being an asshole and give it–” You huff, lunging for it another time, Haechan now holding the toy over your head just out of reach. “God, you act like you’re so fucking tall, dude. You’re fucking 5’9” on a good day.” You snap, and he glowers down at you, backing away with the toy as you follow, continuing to attempt to grab it. You’re under the impression he’s just being an ass by walking away from you, but he makes his intentions clear quickly as he wraps his arm around your waist and spins you around, pinning you up against the wall by his bedroom door without even breaking his stride. With the hand holding your vibrator that he doesn’t have placed on the wall to the side of your head, he pushes his door shut with one hand, the telltale sound of the door clicking alerting you to just how alone the two of you are now.

In the whirlwind of events that just happened, the only constant you can track is that Haechan’s eyes never once left you, the male staring you down intently with all the determination of a predator about to strike.

“All that shit you said to rile me up was cute, pretty girl,” Haechan says slowly, every syllable hitting you lower and lower on your body until they’re sending jolts of desire directly to your core, your throat refusing to cooperate as you attempt to swallow before meeting his gaze. “I wonder if you’ll think it’s cute when I have you crying and losing it on my cock in a moment.”

“I definitely would be crying if I had to teach my aggravatingly flirtatious roommate how to use the alleged monster cock he’s got in his pants,” You retort, and by the way Haechan’s eyebrows shoot upwards, you get the feeling he didn’t appreciate that line too much.

So you continue.

“As a matter of fact,” You muse thoughtfully, struggling to hide the glee on your face at the sight of an extremely pissed Haechan, “I bet any tears I would cry would be in solidarity with all the gorgeous, gorgeous girls that you couldn’t make cum–”

“If you’re so sure I can’t make you cum, then let me try.” He proposes, a fire alight in his eyes that you find incredibly attractive and somewhat unsettling. “Otherwise, you’re afraid to put your money where your mouth is.”

“Mm, no thanks; I hate being edged.” You hum dismissively as you look down at your nails casually, and Haechan’s responding chuckle is filled with absolutely bitter amusement that has something very sadistic purring in satisfaction inside of you. “Plus, you have all of my toys, so I don’t even know how I’d get myself off.”

“Guess you have no other options then.”

“Guess I’ll go buy more sex toys.” You look up just in time to catch his reaction, Haechan’s frustration plainly displayed on his face, but even as he huffs and puffs about how difficult you’re being, he can’t stop staring at your mouth no matter what he does. A smile quirks the corners of your lips upwards as the realization hits that Haechan is almost entirely mesmerized by you right now, his lust and agitation battling it out so visibly that it makes a fascinating spectacle.

“If you seriously go buy another sex toy, you’re going to look like the biggest, most stubborn brat–”

“Speaking of looking, Haechan, you look like you wanna kiss me right now,” You taunt, a breathless laugh escaping you, and he glares down at you with a deeply annoyed expression, and you suddenly get it when he tells you that you look hot when you’re mad, because, fuck, he looks good right now.

“Shut up.” His reply is curt, more brusque than he’s ever been with you, and your eyes widen as a grin overtakes your face.

“Oh, wow, you do! Oh, you wanna kiss me so bad.” You taunt, leaning forward and staring at his lips the way he’s been doing yours, nibbling your bottom lip as you look back up at him. “Don’t you, Haechan?”

“I’m warning you,” Haechan replies slowly, deliberately, as he watches your lips with all the intensity and focus of a hawk. “Don’t play with me like that.”

“Who’s playing? I’m stating facts,” You counter as innocently as possible. “I’m standing here. Fact?” You ask, waiting for Haechan’s response. When he clenches his jaw and looks away from you, you tsk disapprovingly and hold his chin between your index and thumb, turning his face back so his gaze is on you. “This is the part where you answer, Haechan.”

“…Fact.” He says reluctantly, and you smile, nodding and moving his chin so he’s nodding as well.

“Good. You have my vibrator in your hand. Fact?”

“…Fact.”

“Good. You have me pressed against this wall. Fact?”

“Fact.”

“You’re getting it!” You say as sweetly yet patronizingly as you can manage. “You want to kiss me. Fact?” At his silence, you raise your eyebrows, rocking onto the balls of your feet to get in his face even more. As if he’s in a trance, his lips gravitate towards yours so suddenly, you’d swear you were both magnetic. A quick glance up to his face shows that his eyes are heavy-lidded, the visible parts trained on your mouth, and you lean in just a bit more, like you’re going to kiss him, making him move to meet you and fall right into your trap of following your lips even as you sink back down onto your heels. “Fact?” You repeat, and he rolls his eyes before his lids flutter shut, reopening them to stare you down with a dead set expression that thrills you. “Haechan.”

“Fact,” He practically spits out, and you laugh, delighted.

“You wanna kiss me so bad, it’s messing with your head.” You coo condescendingly, and Haechan groans, clearly aggravated. “Fact?” Haechan doesn’t answer, and you pinch his chin again, preparing to turn his head towards you again.

Everything happens very fast. Haechan sucks his teeth, mutters, “Fuck it,” under his breath, smacks your hand away from his face but grabs your wrist, yanks you towards him, and seals his mouth over yours in a heated, all-consuming kiss. Your attempt at a gasp is swallowed by his dominating lips as they move confidently against yours, his lips warm and smooth as they slot between yours and suck on your bottom lip.

“Haechan,” You moan into his mouth, and he groans in satisfaction, his free arm winding around the small of your back to pull you flush against him, the sound of your vibrator thudding to the floor barely registering as his lips greedily steal your every attempt to breathe. You’re left whimpering desperately for an opportunity to take in a gulp of air, and Haechan finally has mercy on you, breaking the kiss momentarily to allow you to breathe, which you do gratefully, breathing in deeply as he studies your face, your glistening, pouty lips, and your wide-eyed expression, your pupils blown wide with pure desire as you stare back at him. His gaze drops back down to your lips and he subconsciously licks his own, his grip tightening around your back and evoking a small whine of longing from you.

“Pretty girl,” Haechan murmurs, his lips teasing your own apart, “I’m gonna fuck you senseless.” The words leave his lips oddly like a promise, spoken with such determination that you swallow thickly, one hand coming up to clutch at his arm before you summon the energy to poke the bear once more.

“Are you sure you’re capable of that?” Your words come out breathier and huskier than you expected, your voice somewhat stolen by the passion of Haechan’s kiss, and he raises his brows, poking his tongue in his cheek before grinning and leaning back down to recapture your lips with his own. He nips and sucks and licks at your lips, his tongue parting the seam of your lips without even giving you a choice and flicking teasingly at your own, only pulling back so he can suck on your tongue or bottom lip.

“Gonna fuck you so good,” He grunts, whirling you two around and walking you towards his bed. When the backs of your legs hit the foot of his bed, his hands drop to your hips so he can lift you slightly and half-push, half-toss you onto the bed. You barely make it up from the initial bounce before he’s on top of you, his warmth and scent–which, you finally note, is intoxicating–enveloping you as he rests on top of you. “That you cry.” He finishes the sentence you didn’t know was incomplete in the first place, and a shudder runs down your spine when his spit-slicked lips kiss down to your chin, jaw, and neck, sucking and nipping harshly enough to have winces and moans leaving your lips freely.

Haechan continues to mouth at your neck while his hand slips between you two and runs up your side, cupping your breast over your shirt and squeezing, relishing the moan you let out. His lips attack your own again as his hand snakes up your shirt and strokes at the skin left exposed by your bra, his fingers pressing experimentally into the plushy flesh as his thumb swipes over your nipple, teasing the hint of the pebbled bud peeking through your bra.

Without another word, he sits up slightly, using both hands to push your shirt up and, once it passes your breasts, he switches to pulling it with quick yanks, not even giving you a chance to help before the shirt is hurriedly removed from your body. Haechan reassumes his position on top of you and attaches his lips to your neck, sucking and licking at the skin as one hand gropes at your chest eagerly but skillfully, knowing every way to knead and caress, every opportune moment to tug at your nipple through the fabric, and you have to give him props for that–if the warmth spreading throughout your underwear indicates what you believe it does, his ministrations so far have your underwear absolutely soaked with arousal.

His mouth travels lower and lower until he’s kissing the swell of your breasts, sucking wet patches of saliva onto your skin as one hand caresses your breast and your side. His touches are so distracting that you don’t even notice when he slips his hand under you to unhook your bra, the garment loosening out of seemingly nowhere before he’s pulling it off of you, thankfully more gingerly than he’d removed your shirt, and his lips are on your breasts without another moment of thought.

“Fuck,” You whisper in surprise as Haechan attacks your chest with wet kisses, surprisingly harsh sucking, and slightly gentler nipping. You can feel your eyes trying to roll back in your head from the pleasure, but, if you’re being honest with yourself, you want to watch him, Haechan’s full pink lips making for a very pretty picture as he sucks at your skin. He kisses around your areola, dragging the tip of his tongue around it teasingly as he watches your reaction. “Stop teasing,” You grunt, annoyed, and he chuckles.

“Just showing you what your toys could never do,” He retorts, and your comeback dies on your tongue in favor of the moan that bursts through when his lips fall to your nipple, the male swirling his tongue around the bud and sucking intently. The involuntary swear that falls from your lips only spurs Haechan on more as he shifts his weight slightly so he’s lying mostly beside you, one hand splayed across your stomach before he moves it downwards, fingers dragging so heavy-handedly that, if he had longer fingernails, you would see scratch marks beginning to form. His every move screams his presence, as if he’s reminding you that this is him doing this, no one–or thing, you suppose–else to give the praise of such pleasure.

As he sucks and licks at your breast, his hand slips under the waistband of your sweats, teases along the hem of your underwear, and dips lower to stroke languidly along the seat of your very damp underwear, even pushing in over your entrance to give you the strange but not undesirable sensation of his fingers, surrounded by the warm, wet fabric of your underwear, pushing into your entrance shallowly. A sharp gasp leaves you, and Haechan chuckles, his teeth biting down gently on your nipple as he grins.

“You like that, huh?” He muses, and you bite back the moan you want to let out as you remember he’s trying to prove a point and that you’d rather not make his job this easy. “Getting quiet on me all of a sudden?” He murmurs softly, too softly given the context. Your suspicions are confirmed when he, again, moves more quickly than you’re able to comprehend in the circumstances; he shifts back on top of you, maneuvers his fingers past your underwear, switches to suck on your other nipple, and starts to trace up and down your slick folds, finally pushing into you and providing you with some relief.

“Holy shit,” You gasp, your hips moving of their own accord as you try to lift yourself into his touch.

“You can keep that pretty mouth quiet all you want–I’ll just listen to how loud your wet little pussy is.” Haechan says smugly from around your nipple, and you’re about to fire back a retort, but he sucks particularly roughly on your nipple and starts to fuck you diligently with his fingers, the wet sounds of his fingers moving in and out of your core making your face burn with embarrassment at how needy you feel for him. “Try and stay quiet now,” He mumbles, the message seemingly for you but delivered almost entirely to himself, and he’s right–it’s almost impossible for you to hold in your whimpers and moans, his name even threatening to slip from your lips, but you thankfully hold that back.

When a swear almost makes its way out, you clap your hand over your mouth, and Haechan glares up at you with an affronted expression, his hand moving from your breast to grab the wrist of the hand covering your mouth and pin it beside your head, shooting you a challenging look that makes you think that maybe you shouldn’t try that again.

“God, fuck,” You groan, unable to hold it in any longer and, as if he’s rewarding you, Haechan speeds up the pace of his fingers, letting you buck your hips into his hand as much as you’d like as his palm presses against your mound, providing delicious pressure and relief to your clit as your hips buck and roll against his hand.

“That’s it,” He coos, your nipple slipping from his mouth in favor of praising you, and it takes an impressive amount of willpower not to melt at the positive remark, your eyes shutting tightly as that tugging sensation in your lower abdomen starts to build, your climax approaching quickly.

A low whine builds inside of you, increasing in volume the closer your climax gets, and when it hits, the dam bursts, and a number of sounds emerges from you, stuttered gasps and cries fighting to leave you first while your brain tries to keep them all inside, trying and failing not to give Haechan the satisfaction of hearing how much pleasure he’s giving you.

“See? Now, didn’t that feel nice?” Haechan lilts tauntingly as his hand releases your arm he’d pinned down, and your eyes narrow in his direction.

“Shut up, Haechan.” You grouch. “All you proved was you know how to finger someone.”

“Which is foreplay,” He points out. “Which most guys are shit at.”

“Guys are also shit at the actual fucking part.” You reply, surprisingly composed considering the foggy clouds of arousal swimming in your head right now.

“Fine,” Haechan counters, reaching down to untie the string on his sweats, and you swat his hand away with a judgmental look. “What now?”

“We’re not doing it this way,” You laugh, and he looks down at you, mildly baffled. “I’m on top. You’re only replacing my sex toy, remember?” You remind him, and he rolls his eyes before rolling off of you and onto his back.

“Kinda forgot about that,” He admits. “That was–you were–you are–so hot, it just slipped my mind.”

You let out a huff of amusement and sit up, preparing to straddle him even as he sits up and leans into another kiss, his lips moving against yours with a desperation that refuses to let you catch a breath, Haechan cutting off your weak moan as you attempt to pull off to breathe by cupping the back of your neck and pulling you down into another kiss.

“God,” You finally gasp when he releases you (or, really, you manage to release yourself) from the kiss.

“It’s pronounced Haechan,” The male under you replies with a cocky grin, and you shoot him an unimpressed look.

“First of all, you wish. Second of all, hurry up,” You huff, sitting back on your heels as he maneuvers himself into a sitting position, his back against his headboard. “Much better,” You murmur, scratching under his chin with one finger, surprised when he shudders in pleasure at your act that was supposed to be condescending. “Interesting,” You muse to yourself, and he glowers at you before pressing the head of his cock against your entrance, provoking an immediate gasp of surprise from you.

“You ready?” He mumbles, barely looking up at you as he studies the way his tip looks pressing against you, changing his grip so his cock is leaning more towards his stomach and using one hand to guide your hips so you’re rocking against his length, coating it with your arousal.

“Stop teasing,” You gripe, and he flicks his gaze up to you, studying your expression before looking back down. “My toy would never do this to me.” You get his attention at that, his glare up at you thrilling you as he sucks his teeth and positions himself at your entrance again.

“Your toy also wouldn’t know how to fuck the attitude out of you.” He counters, and enters you before you can reply, slowly but steadily filling you up. You hate to admit it, but he feels amazing, the sensation of his length gradually pushing into you sending pleasure signals all throughout your body and fogging your mind even more than it already was. “That’s what I thought,” He says, sounding smug, and you snap out of whatever reverie he placed you in to realize that your hands are gripping his shoulders, your head tipping back from the pleasure, and you struggle for a moment, but manage to compose yourself.

“Didn’t moan,” You retort, and he leans forward, trailing kisses up your neck.

“You will.” He sounds so certain that it almost frightens you, his hands moving to help guide you up and down his length, the feeling of him moving inside of you so overwhelmingly pleasurable that your eyes almost roll back in your head.

“Won’t,” You breathe, and he just shoots you a challenging stare. He starts to thrust his hips up, gradually fucking up into you, and you grit your teeth, struggling not to cry out at how good he feels. His every thrust is powerful and driven, his desire to prove something to you evident in his every move, but you can sense his growing frustration as you refuse to make any sort of pleasure-filled noise, the only acceptable sounds you’re allowing yourself to make being stuttered breaths.

“You know it feels good, stop being difficult,” He groans, dragging his teeth down your neck, over your collarbones, and to your chest, where he kisses, licks, and sucks at the skin, hands leaving your hips to press your breasts together and in his face, his lips immediately wrapping around one of your nipples and sucking.

“‘M not being difficult,” You grit out, and he rolls his eyes at you, releasing your nipple with a wet pop.

“Then tell me how good it feels,” He urges. You shake your head.

“Your ego’s big enough.”

“Tell me.” He presses.

“My toys don’t need their little egos fluffed,” You taunt, leaning down so your lips are almost touching. “I thought you were better than them?”

“God, you’re so–I can’t–fuck,” He stammers, his head lolling back onto the headboard, and you grin smugly.

“Haechan,” You purr, deliberately clenching around him and relishing in the choked gasp he lets out. “Are you gonna cum?”

“No,” He groans, but his body tells a different story as his thrusts up into you grow unsteady and erratic.

“If you cum before I do, you’re no better than my toys.” You tease, and he growls under his breath, stilling himself as he’s buried inside of you and breathing shallowly, his chest heaving as he, you assume, restrains himself from finishing. He lifts his head up from leaning back against the headboard and his eyes refocus on you, still hazy but there’s a steely resolve behind them that’s both impressive and intimidating. “All good now?”

“Yeah,” He exhales, and you tilt his chin up so he’s looking directly at you.

“Good boy,” You coo condescendingly, and nothing in the world could have prepared you for his reaction. His eyes roll back in his head, fingers grip your hips tighter, a tremor visibly runs through his body, and he groans loudly in ecstasy. “You’re a little slut for praise,” You marvel, and his gaze snaps back onto you immediately, closing his eyes and chuckling in a way that you both did not expect and do not believe bodes well for you.

“That’s it.” He looks up at you and pulls you off of him, setting you down next to him.

Haechan moves you the way he wants quickly—and, if you’re being honest, a bit roughly—so you’re on your back with him settled between your legs, and he lifts your legs so your knees bend and pushes them towards your chest, letting you hold them in the air as he strokes the underside of your thighs in rhythmic motions.

“You’re such a little brat,” He huffs, still sounding amused, and you smile up at him with a look of faux innocence.

“If you can’t handle it, you can give me my toys and I’ll be out of here.” You bite back with a sickly sweet smile, and he chuckles.

“You know what I think is the best part of fucking with brats?” He asks as if you hadn’t even spoken, and you roll your eyes.

“What?” You ask, and he leans over so you two are face to face, speaking his next words slowly and carefully.

“Breaking them.” The look in his eyes silences you, the intensity more than a little intimidating, and he studies your face before grinning and leaning back up, pushing your knees as close to your chest as you can handle. “Hold them.” When you comply, he mirrors your feigned sweet smile from earlier. “Good girl.”

“Oh, fuck off,” You snap, and he raises an eyebrow.

“I could fuck off right now, actually.”

“Great! I’ll just use my toys.”

“You’re not getting those back.” He says simply, and you splutter indignantly.

“What the fuck do you mean by I’m not getting them back?” You demand, and he stares at you blankly.

“I mean that you’re not getting them back. You have me now,” He answers you, smiling and patting you between your legs, his smile widening when you jolt from the sudden attention your clit receives from the less-than-gentle pats.

“I don’t want you,” You retort, watching as he lowers himself so his face is level with your body. “I want my toys,” You whine, and he mimics your whining tone, rolling his eyes.

“Too fucking bad.” He counters, and his mouth is on you before you can think of anything to say back. A whine escapes you immediately when he looks up at you with a challenge in his eyes, his mouth sucking and kissing at the fleshy folds just below your clit, and he makes a mini-spectacle of letting his tongue loll out, the pink muscle warm and wet against your core. He drags his tongue up your folds repeatedly, his actions getting heavier and more forceful when he nears the underside of your clit to deliver an almost electric jolt of pleasure to you.

It’s safe to say that you’re probably about to lose your fucking mind.

Haechan laps at your pussy greedily, fingers digging into the underside of your thighs roughly as he pushes his face between your legs forcefully, and his lewd moans of enjoyment have your face blazing with heat, suddenly deeply nervous as you remember Jeno’s one door down and, if he’s not wearing headphones, can probably hear you two. Two fingers press at your entrance, sliding in with ease, and you cry out weakly, your grip slackening on your thighs as you start to struggle in holding yourself open for the male currently devouring your pussy.

“You said you don’t want me, but that’s not true, is it?” He asks tauntingly, his fingers pumping in and out of you quickly, and you look away, embarrassed by how loud the wet sounds are of him touching you. “This pretty little pussy wouldn’t lie to me.” He coos almost fondly, leaning in and puckering his lips around your clit to give it little kisses that he has to know are only riling you up further, and sucking on it gently.

“Stop teasing, you assho–oh, fuck,” You inhale sharply when he takes your clit into his mouth and sucks hard, letting it slip from his mouth with a wet sound before spreading your lips and flicking your clit back and forth with his tongue rapidly, groaning in satisfaction as he watches your eyes glaze over with pleasure, your jaw dropping in shock. “Fuck,” You gasp, breathless as his fingers hook inside of you, the pads of his middle and ring fingers fucking directly into your g-spot, and he removes his mouth from you with a sloppy wet sound and sits up slightly, looking you directly in the eyes as he spits directly on your pussy, grinning when you gasp in surprise and mild disgust.

“This pretty little pussy belongs to me now,” Haechan grunts.

“You wish,” You scoff defiantly, and he just shoots you a charming but wicked grin.

“You’re granting my wish right now.” He counters, and you prepare to snark back at him, but he delivers a sharp, abrupt slap to your pussy, causing a yelp of pain, shock, and, if you’re honest with yourself, arousal to escape you. “You like that, don’t you?” He murmurs with a devilish grin, smacking it again, and you whine, moving to close your legs defensively, but he swats both of your inner thighs as a warning, and you hesitantly keep them open, jolting as he slaps your pussy again. “Tell me it’s mine.” He orders.

“Nope,” You say stubbornly. Smack. “Fuck!”

“Tell me.”

“I don’t want–” Smack. “It’s yours!” You cry out, feeling the building of your next climax in your lower abdomen, that tugging feeling that intensifies with every slap of his hand against your clit.

“Whose is it?”

“Yours,” You gasp, and he brings the hand previously smacking your core—which, you note with a twinge of embarrassment, is absolutely glistening with your arousal and some of his saliva—to your clit, rubbing quick circles around the sensitive bud, and your climax is nothing short of explosive. Your eyes screw shut immediately as white floods your vision, and your whole body feels abuzz, alight with ecstasy, the pleasure so consuming you don’t even know what the sounds you’re making are, the only things you can make out being Haechan’s name and a number of swears. He helps you ride your climax out for as long as you possibly can, not letting up on his finger fucking or his ministrations on your clit, and only stops when you release your legs, attempting to curl in on yourself protectively.

“We’re not done here,” He chuckles, positioning himself on his knees between your legs and guiding his cock to your entrance. Your eyes widen in bewilderment and anything you had planned to say flies out of your mind as soon as his length pushes into you fully, stopping when he’s fully buried in you, the only noise you do make sounding like something between a slow, shaky intake of air and a desperate whimper.

“Don’t worry,” He says in a comforting tone as he leans down to your face. “You’re almost there.” You go slack in relief as he places a quick kiss to your lips before sitting back up and pulling out slowly, almost to the tip, before thrusting back in with a quick rolling snap of his hips, and you cry out in ecstasy, provoking him to repeat the action over and over until he’s fucking you at a steady pace.

“Oh, my God,” You whimper tearfully, and Haechan lets out a smug chuckle.

“You like that, hm? Yeah?” He mocks you as you whimper and nod desperately. “Like me fucking you nice–and–deep like this?” He punctuates his last couple of words with powerful thrusts, and you can’t help but let out stuttered whines with every thrust. “Where’s all that fire from earlier, hm?” One day, you suppose you’ll find it in you to resent the utterly mocking and condescending tone he’s taking with you; that day, however, is not today, nor is it in the foreseeable future, because you’re not even sure you’ll have enough brain cells left to process anger or anything other than being cock-drunk and fucked out.

When Haechan angles his hips so his every thrust has him rutting against your clit, you protest immediately, a sharp cry slipping from you as you swat him away in a panic.

“Not there,” You plead breathlessly, not knowing how much more your poor clit can take. Haechan coos at you in faux sympathy, reaching between you two. His hand makes a beeline for your clit, tweaking, twisting, pulling, and pinching the swollen bud as you squirm under him, desperate sobs of exhaustion and overstimulation leaving you.

“Not here?” He taunts you with a mockingly sweet tone, and you whimper, melting under his touch. “Isn’t this what you wanted? You wanted this, what’s wrong? You wanted to cum and I’m making you cum so many times–you should be thanking me.” He purrs, and at your nonsensical whining and babbling, sits up slightly. “As a matter of fact? When you cum, I want you to thank me.” He says with a smug grin, and you don’t even have it left in you to fight back, giving him a tired but emphatic nod in response.

“Close,” You gasp, your eyes rolling back into your head, and he grunts in acknowledgment, his length throbbing as your walls clench around him and urge him closer to his own release.

“What do you say?” He pants through gritted teeth, and you throw your pride out the metaphorical window, figuring you can do the walk of shame to get it later.

“Thank you,” You stammer, and your climax hits, your back arching off of the bed so forcefully your muscles practically scream in protest. Haechan’s powerful thrusts don’t let up until he’s finished climaxing, the only sounds to be heard now being the bed moving, skin slapping against skin, his breathless grunts, and your weakly repeated mantra of “thank you” filling the room as his thrusts slowly come to a stop.

Haechan pulls out of you slowly, both of you letting out a sound of disappointment as you lose the feeling of him filling you up and he loses the feeling of your walls wrapped around him nice and tight. When he’s sitting back on his heels, his length now fully removed from you, you weakly close your legs, not yet willing to admit that Haechan may have successfully fucked the energy out of you on a level your toys could never provide.

If you’re being really honest, you’re pretty sure most partners you could have in the future wouldn’t be able to fuck you as incredibly mindless as Haechan just did, and you’re extremely reluctant to say out loud or even acknowledge that Haechan really is insanely good in bed. You’re brought out of your daze by the feeling of something cold being pressed to your lips, your head flinching back before you look down the mouth of a water bottle and relax.

“You should drink it,” Haechan persists, and you sit up slightly, taking the bottle from him and sipping from it gingerly as Haechan moves to sit beside you on his bed. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” You mumble, silently surprised by how drained you sound. Haechan gets a bit of a smug look on his face that, for the first time in ever, you let slide because it really is deserved. “Hey, Haechan?”

“Mm?”

“You were right.” You bite the bullet, and his head whips around to look at you incredulously. “That was…good.”

“…Good?” He sounds displeased with your word choice which, actually, you can say is fair because he was so much more than just good.

“You were really fucking good, Haechan.” You admit, and he grins at you, visibly more content with your description. “Like…really good.”

“I know,” He says with a cocky little grin that sends a little flutter through your body. “Don’t doubt me next time.”

“…Next time?” You say, confused, and Haechan looks down at you with an equally confused expression.

“…Next time we…?” He gestures between the two of you, and you raise your eyebrows.

“Oh! Oh, no.” You laugh, and he stares at you blankly.

“What?”

“Haechan, that was great and all, but it’s not happening again.” You explain, and he huffs in disbelief.

“You’ve gotta be kidding.” He exhales slowly, and you pat his arm comfortingly.

“I am not.” You say calmly, and climb out of his bed to start grabbing at your clothes, putting each garment on as you find it and doing your best to ignore the way that Haechan stares at you incredulously the entire time. Before long, you’re dressed once more and are putting on a very brave face to hide how your legs feel like jelly, your brain feels like slime, and you fear that giving into Haechan this time may have opened a can of worms because looking at him on his bed is just making you want to walk, wobble, waddle, whatever word works, over to him and let him take you again and again and again.

“Well. Thanks, I guess. I want all my shit back, by the way, Haechan.” You say seriously, and he glowers at you.

“Yeah,” He mutters, and you nod, now feeling awkward. So you leave with a little wave and head back to your room, collapsing onto your bed and groaning at your sore muscles.

“Jesus Christ, he’s good,” You huff, a little mad to have the wind knocked out of your sails like that; you were hoping he was at least a little incompetent in some way, but he wasn’t.

You can’t even manage to stay up for any longer, your eyes sliding shut before you get a chance to shower, use the bathroom, or make yourself feel any less icky, your whole body feeling some horrid combination of sweaty, slippery, and sticky. The last thought you have before passing out entirely is a hope that maybe Haechan proved his point and has no further business with you for your sake.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Your not-so-productive work session in your bedroom gets a disruption in the form of Haechan’s loud groan in the living room. You sit in place for a moment, not sure if you should even bother engaging, but he groans again, and you figure whatever he’s up to is more interesting than the paper you’re supposed to be writing, so you shut your laptop and shift it onto your bed, getting up and padding into the living room.

“What’s your problem?” You ask when you see Haechan sitting on the couch, his head tipped back on the cushion behind him.

“This fucking level,” He groans again, running his hand through his hair so forcefully that you briefly wonder if it hurt. “I keep losing.” He practically growls, turning his head to the side to look at you, and you shift your weight from one foot to the other, meeting his stare.

“What level?” You ask curiously, and even though Haechan’s brow lifts in skepticism, he gestures at the television screen with a jerk of his chin, and you move behind where he sits, leaning against the back of the couch. His eyes follow you the whole time as you take your new position, his tongue trailing along his upper lip in a blatantly suggestive move that you pretend you haven’t seen. “Oh…simply just do not lose next time you try it.” You offer, your tongue in your cheek as you grin teasingly down at him. He glowers up at you, rolling his eyes, and you maintain your taunting smile.

“Listen, it’s harder than you think!” Haechan insists when he looks back at the screen, and you shrug, smiling innocently at him.

“I can’t relate; I am a winner and I excel at everything I attempt.” You hum pleasantly, and Haechan snorts in amusement, looking back up at you with raised brows. You look down at him as you mirror his expression, Haechan’s eyes pointedly gravitating down from your face to your chest, his tongue sneaking out to wet his lips, and you scoff agitatedly as you push the back of his head so he’s looking at the screen again.

“Yeah, how’s that manifestation working out for you?” He chuckles, and you gasp in offense, provoking Haechan to look at you once more.

“I hope your current save glitches and erases itself.” You say with a sweet smile, and his eyes widen fearfully.

“You’re evil,” He remarks in horror and awe, and your smile just widens.

“Maybe.”

“Fine then, winner, how about you come over here and try it?” Haechan waves you over, patting beside him on the couch with the controller in his hand and you shrug, figuring it’s a better way to procrastinate than just sitting around doing nothing.

“Okay.” You agree, making your way around the couch to sit beside him, and Haechan looks at you with a startled expression the entire time.

“Our first date,” He whispers in awe, and you grimace at him, shaking your head.

“Hard pass. I’m gonna go stare at my laptop and pretend my work is doing itself.” You say, and Haechan pulls you back down when you move to stand up.

“I’m sorry, it was a joke! Here, I’ll explain the game and the controls and stuff,” Haechan offers, and you eye him skeptically, but he really does launch into a comprehensive explanation of the game he’s playing, and you definitely have to ask more clarifying questions than you’re comfortable with, but he answers them patiently and seems appreciative that you actually care.

“You’re getting the hang of it!” Haechan encourages you, his eyes wide, and you can’t help but narrow your eyes at him.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” You huff, nudging him with your shoulder, and he laughs, his gaze still trained on the screen as you navigate through the game on a new save point Haechan set up for you so you could get used to the controls.

“I can’t help it. Who would’ve thought a pretty girl like you had a natural gaming ability?” He chuckles, and you try your best to shield your reaction to the casual compliment from Haechan, disguising the whine you want to let out with a small cough and clearing your throat.

Unfortunately for you, that compliment wasn’t as casual as you’d thought it to be, and Haechan’s eyes study your micro-reaction to the name, a small smirk curling the corner of his mouth.

Also unfortunately for you, the pet name has unlocked something in your subconscious, your mind now slowly filtering in memories of the time you and Haechan spent together just the other day; recollections of the sounds he made, the way he felt, his hands, mouth, co–

“Look out!” Haechan exclaims, pointing at the screen, and you yelp in surprise, quickly navigate your character away from the threat he brought to your attention, and take a second to glare at him.

“You scared me!” You complain, bumping into him with your shoulder, and he scoffs in mock offense.

“I helped you!” He corrects you, scooting closer to mirror your earlier action, sending you lurching to the side. He bursts out into laughter that he at least attempts to contain when you start whining, placing both hands on either side of your waist and pulling you back up to your sitting position. “You drama queen.”

“Takes one to know one,” You gripe, and he rolls his eyes with an amused grin as he removes his hands from you, both of you now incredibly aware of how your thighs are pressed up against the other’s. Haechan’s gaze lifts from your touching legs to study your face, but you’re deliberately trained on the television, waiting until his eyes flick over to watch the screen to swallow thickly.

His thigh is warm, you note internally with a groan; you can feel the heat radiating from him, even through his grey sweatpants—which, you also note bitterly, you should fucking hide from him, the clothing item never failing to drive you mad as of late. You’re snapped from your reverie as he hits your side with the back of his hand repeatedly, his words rushing out in a flurry as he gives you pointers you can barely understand, leaving you to just follow the directions he’s giving you. When the tense moment passes, you both relax slightly, slumping back, and his hand falls from where it was poised to smack your side to land on your leg, slightly higher than you’d say “harmless touch” territory encompasses.

You both freeze at the sudden contact, eyes moving to look at his hand on your bare leg—he has really nice hands, you bemoan internally—and you look up at his face to see that he’s already looking at you, his stare unwavering and unnervingly attractive, a small noise of surprise (something between a squeak, squeal, and yelp; overall, an entirely undignified noise that you wish you could take to your grave) leaving you as you avert your gaze immediately.

He calls your name quietly, his voice serious and tone lower than usual, and you should be ashamed of how quickly your body reacts to him, your core clenching around nothing as the familiar warmth of desire starts to build inside of your abdomen, preparing to radiate through your whole body. You try your best to pretend that you simply didn’t hear him, but your sharp intake of breath when his hand squeezes your thigh slightly most definitely gives you away.

“Pretty girl,” Haechan’s tone barely sounds any different, but after the events of the other day, you’re fully tuned into the subtle shift, this delivery more insistent, more dominant; this is a demand for your attention, an order to look at him.

“Hm?” You hum softly, not yet trusting your voice to speak above a murmur, and you can hear him suck his teeth—in annoyance or disappointment, you’re not sure (because you’re not looking) but you’re willing to bet it’s a mix of both.

“You know what I want.” His voice is still level, deceptively even, like the calm before a storm, and it takes everything in you not to melt into a puddle right on the spot, your eyes dragging over to meet his gaze as if pulled by magnetic forces. The two of you last through maybe a couple of seconds of eye contact before you’re moving, his relieved groan mixing with your desperate whine as you two practically lunge at each other, your lips meeting immediately and moving against the other’s in sync. His fingers dig into your thigh uncomfortably for a moment before he releases your flesh and pulls you into his lap so you’re straddling him.

“God, fuck,” He groans in delight, the words strained with the effort of keeping his voice down. His hands do all of the talking his mouth can’t, palms pressing against you greedily, heavy-handed against your flesh as he gropes your hips and ass, squeezing firmly with a pleased grunt.

One hand leaves your hips, snaking up your shirt to hook his fingers in your bra cup and yank it down forcefully, his hand slipping out to push the hem of your shirt up past your breasts, and Haechan latches onto your nipple without another moment’s hesitation, sucking and licking as your fingers curl in his hair, your hips rocking against him under the firm guidance of his hand. When a sharp whine slips from your lips, Haechan looks up at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “You’d better be quiet,” He reminds you, staring directly at your mouth. “Keep those pretty little noises to a minimum if you don’t want Yena or Jeno to come find us.”

You nod quickly in agreement and he grins, his pink tongue peeking out to wet his lips before he pulls you into a heated kiss, both of you taking the opportunity to make noises as you please, his pants and grunts of pleasure alternating with your moans and gasps in a composition of the most desperate of symphonies.

He sucks at your bottom lip, tugging it and releasing it repeatedly to cherish the weak whines you vocalize every time he does it, and your fingers curl even harder in his hair, your nails lightly but deliciously scratching against his scalp.

“Shit, pretty girl,” He sounds throatier than usual after a particularly pleased whimper escapes you, and he pulls back from the kiss, taking your chin between his thumb and index finger and shaking your head from side to side in an endearing yet deeply patronizing gesture. “If you keep sounding so pretty, I’m not gonna be able to stop.”

“Then don’t,” You urge him, your voice surprising you when you hear it, it now sounding huskier and far more breathy than you can remember it ever being, and Haechan lets out an appreciative hum that sounds a lot like a growl, pulling your chin down so your lips connect once more. You resume your previously slowed pace of rolling your hips down against his lap, your clothed core rutting against his concealed length as you do your best to silence your moans and other sounds of pleasure when his kisses travel down lower until he’s licking and nipping at your neck. “No marks,” You gasp out, and he hums in acknowledgment, albeit a bit of an annoyed sort, and he busies himself with licking and sucking along your collarbones before he decides he’s satisfied, tapping your hip with one hand to get your attention and gesturing for you to turn around.

Once you do, he pulls you back into his lap, fingers digging into your shorts to tug them down; when you lift your hips to assist him and sit back down, the sudden skin-on-skin contact has you gasping involuntarily.

“Look at you,” Haechan coos condescendingly, fingers trailing along your inner thighs and showing you his digits, now glistening with your arousal. “So messy,” You can hear the mocking pout in his voice and you’re both aggravated by his cockiness and deeply attracted to it. “If we were alone in the apartment, I’d clean you up with my tongue,” He whispers in your ear, and your eyes just about roll back into your head at the thought. “Lift up a bit for me, pretty girl; spread just a bit for me—just like that, good.” He instructs you gently, nestling his length between your thighs and using your arousal as lubrication to bounce you up and down, fucking your thighs and grunting in satisfaction.

“Haechan,” You whine, brows furrowed as you realize his cock is just out of reach of your core, unable to offer you any sort of stimulation.

“I could cum just like this,” Haechan groans, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say there’s a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Well, I can’t!” You huff, and he hums sympathetically.

“No?” He asks, and you shake your head. “Even if I do this?” He asks, his hand reaching around you to rub quick, forceful circles against your clit, his lips reattaching to your neck to lick and suck.

“Holy shit,” You moan, your breathing growing labored as your pleasure builds. Lifting your hips just a bit higher than he has been, Haechan uses your state of arousal as a distraction to slip his thighs from between your thighs, your only warning the brief moment in which the head of his cock presses against your lower lips before he slides in without warning, pulling you down onto his cock until he’s fully buried inside of you. “Fuck, Haechan!” You hiss, and he chuckles devilishly, pressing apologetic kisses to the back of your neck.

“Sorry, pretty girl; just wanted you to know I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that.” He exhales, and you grip the couch cushions on either side of you, using the newfound stability to start bouncing up and down his length, both of you struggling to hold in your sounds of relief.

“God, feels so fucking good,” Haechan grunts, fighting against his fluttering eyelids that threaten to close, the male desperate to remain observant as you ride him but combatting the utterly draining pleasure coursing through him. “Missed this tight little pussy,” He pants, bucking his hips up to meet your downwards movements and grinning at the choked gasp you let out, your labored breaths each ending in a small whine as you chase your release, both of you so deliciously close until—

“Fuck,” You hiss loudly, fixing your shirt and bra and moving to shoot off of Haechan’s lap as a door opens from Haechan’s and Jeno’s side of the apartment, Haechan yanking you back into place and burying his cock in your folds, shushing you insistently and picking the abandoned controller up, resuming the game from where you left off.

“Hey, guys–” Jeno greets you two, stopping short at the sight of what is unmistakably you sitting on Haechan’s lap. “What are you doing?” He sounds more puzzled than suspicious, and you thank your lucky stars that Jeno’s a little clueless at times. Thankfully, the angle he’s standing at only grants him the view of your shoulders and up, so he’s none the wiser as to what you two are actually doing.

“I won a bet,” Haechan lies smoothly, looking over his shoulder at Jeno as he bounces his knees twice, his length pushing into you insistently. “She has to sit on my lap and be my good-luck charm while I play.” Haechan wraps his arms around your frame and hugs you tightly, swaying you from side to side with a big grin.

Two can play at that game, you think, and send a tight-lipped smile Jeno’s way, settling down harder onto Haechan’s lap and clenching around his length, your smile turning genuine as Haechan cries out through gritted teeth, the sound appearing to Jeno as one of pain from your forceful wiggling, but is actually one of almost overwhelmed pleasure, one hand leaving the controller to pinch your thigh, the sneaky act of revenge eliciting a wince from you that has Jeno’s brows furrowing in concern.

“Can you two be nice to each other? I don’t wanna come home to a crime scene.” Jeno asks worriedly, and you two nod quickly, far too quickly for both of your liking, but Jeno, yet again, notices nothing, shooting you both a friendly wave. “Okay, see you guys later; I’m going to the gym.”

“Bye!” You call after him, waiting for the door to shut and lock before you sigh in relief, your body going slack.

“We’re not done here, pretty girl,” Haechan taunts, his hand moving to your clit to pick up where he left off in rubbing quick, tight circles, and your sharp moan of surprise spurs you back into action, your hips lifting back up as you resume riding him, both of you wordlessly agreeing to keep an ear out for Yena.

His free hand moves from your hip to slide up your shirt, pinching, tweaking, and tugging at your nipple, the added stimulation too much for you to handle as your breathing picks up, quiet but desperate whines and pants of Haechan’s name and swears falling freely from your lips while your climax washes over you in waves, each rush more powerful than the one before it.

Shortly after you hit your peak, Haechan’s shuddered groan from behind you lets you know he’s coming right after you, his length twitching as he pulls your hips down, stuffing himself inside of your wet warmth fully and moaning as he releases inside of you, his legs trembling under you as his climax runs its course. Only when he’s sure he’s finished cumming does Haechan ease you off of his length, trying (and failing) to contain the appreciative moan that threatens to slip out when he catches a glimpse of your bare folds, glistening with a mix of his and your releases.

“So much for ‘that can’t happen again,’” Haechan chuckles as you both pull your pants back up.

“…Okay, but it really can’t this time.” You say seriously, turning to look at him, and he raises an eyebrow as he steps closer to you, tucking a finger under your chin and tilting your head up.

“How about that rule starts tomorrow? Come hang out with me in my room.” Haechan says in a suggestive murmur, smiling as your conflicted expression turns pensive.

“What are we doing in your room?” You ask slowly, and he shrugs.

“I’m gonna play more video games,” He says honestly, and you scoff lightly, rolling your eyes at his blatantly honest answer. “However, if I look over at my bed and there’s a very pretty girl lying there with a very pretty pussy for me to eat–”

“Haechan–” You protest immediately, cringing with a grimace at his crass language, but you can’t deny that something inside of you just stirred at the notion of Haechan’s head between your legs.

“–then maybe I’ll just have to do something about that,” Haechan continues on as if you hadn’t said a word, locking eyes with you and raising his eyebrows expectantly.

“…Maybe.” You answer after thinking about it, and Haechan grins triumphantly. “I’m gonna shower first, though. If I feel up to it when I’m all done, then…yeah. Starting tomorrow, though, no more fucking around—literally.” You say seriously, poking his chest with one finger, and he shrugs with a devilish little grin.

“No promises.” He’s turning and heading off to his room before you can even get a word in edgewise, causing you to huff in agitation and head off to your room to get ready for your shower, in which you contemplate whether or not you should go to Haechan’s room after you get out.

(You do, in fact, go to Haechan’s room. You also, in fact, decide to sit on his bed and watch as he plays some game on his computer. Maybe you space out a couple of times while he’s playing because you’re staring at his hands and the way his fingers move across the keyboard and the way his veins flex and tense under his skin, and maybe you don’t.

Maybe at one point, Haechan finds his eyes wandering over to you more often than not, and maybe, when he ultimately gets kicked from the game for being idle, he takes the opportunity to make good on his word and remind you of what it feels like to have his head between your legs.)

i hope you liked part one! part two is already written and will be up in exactly a week! again, if you enjoyed the fic, please consider tipping me here or here!

[nct-fic-recss]

Thank you guys so much for 501 followers, I’m really sorry I haven’t been posting much but I’ve been so incredibly busy since the new year! I’ll hopefully be back to posting regularly soon ❤️

[nct-fic-recss]

You’re Right

NCT Haechan x Female reader

Genre - angst, smut, fluff, love at first sight, soulemate!au, sightly based off of the song You Right by Doja Cat and The Weeknd.

Warnings - Dom!Haechan, Cheating, cursing, both Haechan and reader talk to themselves, guided masturbation that leads to phone sex, female and male masturbation, mentions of corruption, degradation, hair pulling, marking, scratching, nipple play/nipple sucking, fingering, slight messy sex, unprotected sex, cumming inside, partial oral sex (f receiving), slight cum play, Haechan cum eater.

Word count - 13k

Summary - Haechan is happy, he’s happy in his relationship, he’s sure of it. At least he was before he met you.

NCT Masterlist // Main Masterlist // Part 2

Haechan was happy, he was convinced he was. He loved his friends and he was so sure he was falling in love with his girlfriend, Miyoung. They had been together for a while, around 6 months at this point and they never had any issues. Of course they had little arguments every now and then but nothing that could put him off of her, he was positive that nothing could change the way he felt about her, he didn’t even feel excited to Jaemin’s new friend, he was too focused on Miyoung. No other girl ever took his attention, he prided himself on his loyalty towards her.

“So who’s your lady friend?” Jeno asked Jaemin, raising his eyebrow at him.

“A friend, that’s all”

“Just a friend”

“Yes” Jaemin rolled his eyes “She’s great I think you’ll like her”

“Someone gets a new friend” Haechan spoke, gently nudging Miyoung who was next to him.

“Thank God”

“She’ll be here in a minute, i’ll go out and meet her” The other boys nodded at him, Haechan was in his own world playing with Miyoung’s hand whilst the rest of them spoke. It was laughable how clueless he was about what was going to happen within the next few minutes.

When you walked in you were greeted with smiles and hello’s from all of them, except one. Haechan felt like his heart just fell out of his body, the feeling he felt was like nothing he had felt before. When he looked up at you his heart stopped, there was no denying you were stunning, but he felt something deeper than that. He felt like he had known you for years without having a conversation with you, something about you terrified him and he knew he had to get out of there immediately.

“I need to go to the bathroom” He was quick to leave the room, painfully aware of the confused but hurt look that you gave him as he left.

He was, to put it simply, a mess. He had never felt such a rush of emotions from just looking at a stranger, he didn’t expect it and even more so when his girlfriend was right next to him. He was in his own head, rhetorical questions running through his head, all he needed to know was who you were and why you made him feel the way that you did.

“Is he… normally like that?” You asked, Renjun shook his head.

“Do you two know each other?” Jaemin sounded confused.

“No, i’ve never met him before” It was true, you hadn’t, but somehow you felt like you knew him somewhere yet you weren’t sure where. There was an odd feeling in your heart.

“Maybe he just really needed to go” Jeno said. You would have believed him if it wasn’t for the fact Haechan failed to return for the rest of the time you were there. The others were nice, Jaemin had introduced you to Jeno, Renjun and Haechan’s girlfriend Miyoung, all of them promising to confront Haechan, or as they called him Hyuck, on his rude actions. You felt strange when you heard them call him Hyuck, there was a weird familiarity with the name.

By the time you left you had gained the three of their numbers and had been invited to go to lunch with them the next day, being told Haechan would be there you knew you had to prepare yourself.

-

Preparing yourself was easier said than done, the others were lovely and having Jaemin around was comforting but you were nervous to meet Haechan officially, scared that he would curse them for inviting you. Which to no surprise, he did, he just didn’t tell them, Miyoung was the first person who questioned his actions. The two of them had arrived at lunch earlier which gave her the time to do so.

“Why did you disappear last night?” Truth be told, he knew he couldn’t be honest with her, his heart was beating quickly as her fingers laced with his, but this time it was a different feeling than usual.

“I just didn’t feel good” He moved his hand away from hers and sat properly in his chair as he heard familiar voices. She rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say, but she’s coming today so be nice” Haechan felt like his world just caved in on him, he was hoping to never have to see you again, hoping he would be able to avoid you at all costs, or at least until the feeling subsided. Jeno and Renjun were the next two to show up, sitting at the table and leaving the two chairs facing Miyoung and Haechan empty, he felt like the world was against him.Part of him felt bad, he didn’t know you, he didn’t know why he felt the way that he did but he wished he didn’t. He was sure you were lovely, Jaemin wouldn’t have befriended you if you weren’t, but he knew getting to know you was most likely the last thing he should do.

“We’re not going to question you, but she’s Jaemin’s friend and she’s really nice so for the love of God be nice to her” Jeno’s voice sounded somewhat stern, he never got harsh with his friends unless it was absolutely necessary, Haechan knew he was serious.

It wasn’t long before you and Jaemin turned up, Haechan felt your presence in the room before you barely walked through the door, he looked up and made eye contact with you, the feelings he felt the night before all came rushing back to him. He noticed you stop Jaemin before walking over, he didn’t know why but he couldn’t help but be curious to what you were saying.

“I’m nervous” You grabbed Jaemin’s arm, stopping him before he could walk over.

“You don’t need to be nervous, they really like you I promise”

“It’s not them I'm worried about” He sighed and turned to you.

“I can assure you Hyuck is not usually like that, he was probably just having a bad day” You sighed back at him and let go of his arm, he smiled “You’ll be okay” He brought his hand to rub the side of your arm before walking over to the table, he instinctively took the sit facing Miyoung, leaving the only seat left free being the one directly facing Haechan. You decided to avoid his eyes despite the fact they were on you, opting to send a warm smile to the girl next to him.

“It’s nice to see you again” You smiled at her, getting a smile in return.

“You too, i’m so glad you came” Haechan felt weird that you two were getting along, Miyoung was lovely to everyone and he kind of hoped you would be the opposite of that, but clearly you weren’t. They had all greeted you and he knew he had to speak, he could feel Jeno’s eyes burning into the side of his head as well as Miyoung nudging him.

“I’m Haechan, my friends call me Hyuck, i’m sorry for running out yesterday” You didn’t want to question why exactly he ran out, but you were shocked when he put his hand out.

“Y/N, it’s not to meet you” You brought your hand up to shake, it was a mistake for you both. His hand was warm, your hands felt familiar to both of you, you weren’t sure if you wanted to pull away immediately or keep them together for longer. You’re the one who pulled away, your hand still tingling when you rested it onto the table.

You’d assume the lunch went well, at least it looked that way to everyone else. There was something in your mind, an urge making you want to look at Haechan, curious to see if he was looking at you too, which he was. He felt the same urge, only he gave into his more often than you did, glancing your way every so often when you were busy speaking to someone. He had observed that you looked pretty when you were laughing, the sound of your laugh being just as pretty as you were, he wanted to hit himself to even think that for a split second. He kept asking himself ‘What the fuck is wrong with me?’ because even if it wasn’t cheating, he felt bad for being the way he was around you, especially with Miyoung right there. Both of you could only hope that no one else noticed the glances you gave each other.

Speaking of Miyoung, he had barely paid her any attention since you had arrived, she didn’t seem to notice though. In a way it was kind of funny that both he and her weren’t paying attention to each other but to you. He began to think maybe it was just you, maybe you captivated everyone with the soft smile you always held on your face and drew them further in when you spoke to them, just like you had with him, because the others seemed to like you so maybe they were the same, right? Or maybe he was just trying to convince himself anything but what was really happening, yet he still had to figure that out too.

-

It had become a regular thing for you to be invited out with them, they all took a liking to you and wanted you around, you still had your doubts on Haechan, it was painfully obvious how quiet he got when you were around. Although, you didn’t really mind, he was a hard one to figure out, thinking about him made you feel dizzy and you were ashamed to admit you thought about him often. It wasn’t on purpose, he often made his way into your head when you were alone, something about his cold front to you made you want to speak to him more. It was strange, feeling bad about wanting to get to know someone who has a girlfriend, who’s girlfriend you’re friends with, even if you had no bad intentions, but did you really?

Things grew messier for Haechan every day, you were always there in the back of his mind, even when he was with Miyoung. There was no doubt he was unintentionally distancing himself from her, and he knew she felt it too, the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her but at the rate things were going, that seemed inevitable. Everytime you were around part of him got weaker, he was sure that Jaemin had caught onto the longing glances he sent you, but if he did then he never mentioned it. Haechan gave himself one clear rule about you, never under any circumstance be left alone with you. That was it and as things were going, he had followed that rule well, until his thoughts began to drive him mad. He had urges, his mind telling him all sorts of things that would easily fuck up his relationship, he only caved into one though.

It was contrasting of him, he didn’t feel bad because of what he was doing, he felt bad because he didn’t feel bad about what he was doing. What he had done was unlock Miyoung’s phone when she was in the shower and took your number from it, putting it in his phone before closing the contacts app on her phone and locking it, putting it back where he had felt it. He felt a rush, his heart beat had barely calmed down by the time she got out of the shwoer and back to him, he had to act like he hadn’t just gone through her phone to get your number and he certainly couldn’t tell her he done that, not without raising some form of suspicion or worry.

He didn’t use your number for a few days, every time he picked up his phone, every night when he was laying in bed, both alone and with Miyoung, there was a voice in his head telling him to message you, but he didn’t know how to explain just how he got your number, knowing he could just lie and say Miyoung or Jaemin gave it to him but panicking because what if you were to ask them? What would he say then? How would he explain it to any of you? Plus, how would he even start the message? Hello, it’s Haechan. I stole your number out of my girlfriend’s phone in secret, probably not the most appealing conversation starter. Yet he had to do something, anything, he wanted to talk to you, even if he lied about how he got your number, he had to do something to settle the urge he had.

It wasn’t late but it definitely wasn’t early, around 10pm when he had finally caved in and sent you a message. Miyoung was getting ready to leave his, failing to notice how distracted he was with his phone in his hands, a shaky breath and an increasing heart rate. She kissed him goodbye and he smiled as she left, going back to focusing on his phone where he had just pulled your contact up, his thumb hovered over the message icon, he clicked it hesitantly and it brought him to your empty chat. He scanned his mind on what to say to you.

You were unsuspecting, surprised when your phone dinged and you saw the unknown number, you audibly gasped at the message.

[xxx-xxxx-xxx] 22:32pm: Y/n, it’s Haechan

[xxx-xxxx-xxx] 22:32pm: I got your number from Miyoung

It wasn’t a lie, technically he did. You knew you had a good, growing friendship with Miyoung but you were slightly surprised she would give him your number.

[You] 22:33pm: Haechan? How are you

Admittedly you were unsure on what to say, wanting to ask him why he had messaged you but not wanting to sound rude,

[Haechan] 22:33pm: I'm doing good, how are you?

He was relieved that you actually answered, maybe he seemed eager by texting you back straight away, but he had to speak to you, something inside of him wanted to talk to you so badly, so he had to cave to that need. You didn’t reply for a few minutes, he sighed when you did.

[You] 22:38pm: I’m doing okay

[You] 22:38pm: I don’t want to sound rude, I’m glad you messaged me actually but I was just wondering why exactly you did?

Now how the fuck was he supposed to answer that? It wasn’t your fault, he didn’t blame you for being curious but fuck what was he supposed to say? He realised he hadn’t responded when he got another message from you a few minutes later.

[You] 22:43pm: You don’t have to answer aha, I was just curious

You were in his head whether you did it on purpose or not, he was overthinking. Overthinking why you had messaged him again after he didn’t reply, why were you so curious?

[Haechan] 22:44pm: I guess I just wanted to speak to you

[Haechan] 22:44pm: I don’t know why but I wanted to

He typed that without thinking, pressed the send button before he realised what he had said and he had no time to delete it as the read receipt came up immediately. If him messaging you in the beginning had you shocked, that message completely threw you off guard, he wanted to speak to you, that clearly means he was thinking about you, but why?

[You] 22:44pm: Isn’t Miyoung there?

[Haechan] 22:45pm: She left around 20 minutes ago

You realised that was just before he had messaged you, why did he wait until she was gone to do so? And if he was thinking about you does that mean he was when she was there?

[You] 22:45pm: Okay

[You] 22:45pm: You can call me if you want to

[You] 22:45pm: Or facetime, I’m not fussed

You knew those words would come back to bite you in the ass in the future, you had a gut feeling that this could lead to something dangerous. He didn’t reply, he felt like he was going head first into a heart attack that only grew more intense when he hovered over your contact, contemplating on if he should press the call or the facetime icon. He decided on the facetime one, talking to you was one thing but seeing you was another and deep down he hoped that one facetime call could fix the urges he felt. But, he was about to break the only rule he had set with you, never under any circumstance be left alone with you. When he pressed the button his breathing stopped, quickly finding a place to rest his phone so his face was in the shot, he froze even more when you answered, discarding any care he had about his rule.

“Hi” There was your signature soft smile on your lips, it had only been at least 2 seconds and he already realised that this call would only make things worse for him.

“Hi” You giggled at his slight awkwardness. He admired you for a moment, the sound went straight to his heart. You were sat down at your desk in your bedroom, the fairy lights you had strung on the wall behind you were pretty and you were so pretty yourself, your bare face, the way your hair sat kind of messy and the shirt that fell slightly down your shoulder, the simple sight of you made him almost speechless, but he knew he had to get himself together. Luckily for him he didn’t realise he was staring at you for around 30 seconds, but you noticed. The thing that pulled him out of his trance was when you looked away with a nervous laugh.

“Haechan” He liked the way you sounded when you said his name, there was a sort of tired rasp to your voice, it made him somewhat nervous.

“You know you can call me Hyuck right?” Your eyebrow raised at him.

“I thought that was just set for close friends”

“We aren’t exactly enemies are we?”

“Okay then, Hyuck” Fuck that was worse.

“Yes?”

“What’s going on?” You placed your hand against your cheek and leaned on it.

“What do you mean?” He was nervous again.

“We don’t really speak that much when we go out with the others, you’ve always acted kind of cold towards me, yet.” You paused and sat up, cocking your head to the side with a confused look on your face, “You get my number off of Miyoung, you message me out of the blue and tell me you wanted to speak to me for some reason, why?” His head was a mess, his heart was going to beat out of his chest, he was panicking.

“I don’t know, I just wanted to” It was the truth “You came to my mind and I just kind of had to message you” He probably shouldn’t have said you came to his mind, he wanted you to at least think you did just in the moment, not that he had spent the past few weeks thinking about you everyday and night.

“If you got my number from her, why did you wait until she left to text me, clearly she knows you’re going to if she gave it to you” He was taken back at how you dissected the situation so quickly and accurately. He was silent for a few moments, going to speak but you beat him to it. “She didn’t give you my number did she?” “How did you know?”

“She was messaging me as she left, surely she would have mentioned it”

“Did you” He closed his eyes and breathed, opening them and not being sure if he should look at you or not. “Did you tell her?” You shook your head.

“No, what are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything” You laughed at him.

“That’s a lie”

“How do you seem to know things so easily?” It was your turn to be speechless.

“I don’t know” It was a genuine reply, you didn’t know how you could sense him lying so quickly and easily, you just had a gut feeling and the more you spoke to him, the easier he was to read. “All I know is that you have a secret”

“I don’t think I can tell you yet”

“Then what can you tell me”

“That i want to get to know you better” Realistically, his words should have set alarm bells in your head, it should have made you see

red flags everywhere, but it didn't and if it did then you did a great job at ignoring them. For crying out loud he had a girlfriend, how could you both ignore that so easily.

“You… do?” He nodded, he was in too deep to try to deny anything now.

“If it’s okay” You hesitantly nodded.

“Of course” He was starting to think you were in this just as much as he was “You can ask me anything I don’t mind” Of course he had to ask the question that was plaguing his mind.

“Is there something between you and Jaemin?” You almost snorted.

“Listen, Jaemin’s hot but we’re just friends and that’s all we’ll ever be”

“Would you fuck him?”

“In a heartbeat” His eyes widened and you laughed, the laugh was different to any other he had heard directly from you, the type you use when you’re around the others “I’m kidding I promise” He sighed and laughed, he wasn’t sure how long into the call it was when he realised just how much he was enjoying talking to you and how he knew he wanted to do this again, as well as in person. He would assume that things would be more risky if it happened in person, yet he could never be sure.

Within the hours that the call lasted for, you had moved to your bed, laying your head against your pillow as the two of you spoke, he couldn’t help but notice how tired you looked. You looked sweet, eyes heavily, voice quieter and sleepy giggles leaving you every so often.

“You should go to sleep” You knew he was right, but you were a little hesitant to do so.

“Are you going to go back to not speaking to me again?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No” Your answer was straightforward and blunt, it made him happy inside “I enjoyed speaking to you tonight”

“You’re cute, but go to sleep peaches, I'll talk to you in the morning” He cut the call off before you could say anything about the name, if anything you were glad he did so he couldn’t see your flustered state. Calling you cute and then peaches? What the fuck, thats all you could think, what wa he playing at, whatever it was it was dangerous, but why did it have your stomach fluttering? You shouldn’t, the last thing you should do is play into the game but you felt like it was going to happen whether you were happy about it or not.

Haechan on the other hand was a mess, you almost had him giggling like some school girl who got smiled at by her favourite teacher. He didn’t know why he said it and he definitely shouldn’t have said it but it was far too late to take it back now, he was just concerned about what you were thinking and it was funny how you were both completely unaware of how in-sync you were. Both of you spending the night awake with your minds on each other.

-

You were both tired the next day, the two of you had seemed to forget that you were going out with the others so when you got a reminder message in the groupchat you sighed to yourself. You had been awake for at least half of the night, despite being so sleepy when he ended the call, his words were stuck in your head, his smooth voice when he said them was all you could hear. You didn’t think you would be able to face Miyoung today but it was very clear that you did not have a choice.

No one was at the meeting place when you arrived, being friends with them made you quickly learn that they enjoyed meeting for lunch every few days, it seemed like a tradition. The same place and the same table too, always sitting in the same seats, it was an unconscious rule.

You wanted the universe to be on your side for once, at least for today, but as per usual it wasn’t. Haechan was the next person to show up and he didn’t hesitate to pull out the chair beside you and sit in it, you turned your head and raised your eyebrow.

“Miyoung isn’t coming today” You nodded, deciding against questioning where she is, he leaned back in his chair. You had to look away for a brief second to prevent yourself from staring at him, the white shirt he was wearing looked far too good on him. He was so attractive. His face, his body, his proportions and you would have had to been blind to not notice his hands, there was a pit in your stomach when you looked at him, you hated how he could be effortlessly fucking hot. “How are you today?”

“Tired” You sighed “I didn’t get much sleep”

“Me neither” He trailed off, both of you trying to suppress the thoughts that were coming. Trying not to tell yourselves that you were both awake for the same reason, because of each other. He was going to speak again before your phone dinged, looking down and seeing Jaemin’s contact pop up as a message.

[Jaemin] 12:34pm: Listen… I have good news and bad news

[Jaemin] 12:34pm: The bad news is me, Jeno and Renjun can’t make it today

[Jaemin] 12:34pm: And I heard Miyoung can’t either

[Jaemin] 12:35pm: But the good news is that Haechan can! So it’ll just be you too

[Jaemin] 12:35pm: Sorry if it makes you feel awkward but something came up and we can’t back out of it but it gives you time to finally talk to him properly, have fun!!

Well fuck, you sighed, catching Haechan’s attention.

[You] 12:36pm: No worries! We’re both already here.

[Jaemin] 12:36pm: Great! Enjoy yourself!

For some reason it felt planned, which surely it wouldn’t have been, there’s no way all three of them would have cancelled just to force you two to spend time with each other.

“They’re not coming”

“None- none of them?” You shook your head.

“It’s just you and me I guess”

“No need to sound too disappointed” Your eyes widened.

“I didn’t mean it like that” He laughed and you whined, the sound instantly shutting him up, he cursed himself at the way his mind began to drift. He coughed, clearing his head and then sat up, looking at the empty seats around you.

“Maybe we should move to a different table” You agreed and stood up, only realising that it meant you would be sitting directly across from him with no distractions once you sat down. Now you really couldn’t avoid looking at him, no matter how much you needed to. The conversation flowed just as easily as it did the night before whilst you ate, mindless chatter and genuine laughs came from both of you. It felt comfortable, familiar, as if you’d been in his position with him before, but you could recall ever doing so.

“Did I tell you how pretty you looked today?” There he goes again, saying things before thinking and sending flutters to your heart.

“Hyuck” Hearing you say his name in person was different over the phone, he really enjoyed the sound of it “Is that something you should say?” He sighed, he knew why you asked that and he knew it wasn’t something he should really say to anyone other than Miyoung, let alone one of her friends, but he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you, you took his breath away and he felt like he had to tell you that, or at least in a less intense way. You were like a gem, shining under the midday sun, eyes sparkling from the reflection of the light and the precious fucking smile you always gave him. Haechan wasn’t sure on the real definition of ‘down bad’, but if he could put it on anything he would put it on how he was for you, which was a really shitty move on his behalf due to his girlfriend.

“There’s no harm in telling the truth” Your mouth almost dropped open at his words.

“I will hit you”

“What’s stopping you?” He raised his eyebrow and poked his tongue in his cheek, fuck he was hot, you swore you could’ve jumped him then and there but quickly reminded yourself you were in public and that he had a whole fucking girlfriend, you had to get yourself together.

“I prefer it the other way around” You laughed to yourself, you shouldn’t have played into it but you couldn't help it.

“Is that information I should remember” He leaned back and ran his hand through his hair, at this point you were certain he was doing it on purpose to test your limits, he was driving you insane. You were so thankful that the waiter had come to the table to take your plates and let you pay so you could leave.

“Are you going to Jaemin’s party on friday night?” You nodded at him as the two of you made your way out of the place, ready to part ways before he spoke again “Then i’ll see you there” He winked and you were oh so close to throwing yourself in front of the next car that came, you refrained from it though, turning and walking the opposite way and praying he didn’t notice any of your reactions to him.

-

It was the second night in a row where the two of you had ended up staying up with the other on your minds, except this night he had messaged you, remembering you saying you couldn’t sleep and secretly hoping you were in the same position that night too.

[Hyuck] 01:43am: Are you awake??

[You] 01:44am: Yes

That was all that was said before he called you, the familiar facetime icon popping up. You sighed, you weren’t disappointed, in fact it was the opposite, you just knew how it would go, especially with how your conversation went earlier in the day. You pressed answer, you genuinely could have cried at how he looked. He looked fresh out of the shower, his ashy coloured hair was wet, his fringe sticking to his forehead slightly, you could only sigh to yourself.

“Showering at this time?”

“I couldn’t sleep”

“That makes two of us”

“At least we’re awake together” You smiled at his words.

“How did you know I was going to be awake?”

“You mentioned you struggled to sleep last, I did too so when I couldn’t tonight I kind of hoped you’d be awake too”

“Was I the first person you thought of?” Yes

“Maybe”

“I’m glad you messaged me, I felt another sleepless night coming so it’s nice to have company” Your words made him smile but he couldn’t help but wish to be there with you in person, he’s so sure he could make you tired enough to fall asleep, so many different ways crossed through his mind and there was a glint in his eyes when he thought about a certain one. “What are you thinking about?”

“You” Here he goes again, more words coming out without him thinking of the repercussions. You were taken back at his boldness, even though it was through a screen.

“What.”You gulped, you were so clearly nervous, such a big contrast to the rush of confidence he felt coming to him, he almost laughed “What about?”

“I was thinking about things I could do to help you fall asleep”

“What are you going to do, sing to me?” He laughed, he was glad you were clueless.

“I was thinking something else” The glint in his eye returned, your heart rate sped up. Maybe it was bad, no, it was bad, how Miyoung left both of your minds and didn’t return. The two of you looked at each other for a few more moments, it was only then that you realised what he was referring to.

“I can’t”

“Why not?” His question came quickly in response to your words, he seemed so invested in the moment.

“I just” You had to let out a deep breath, he couldn’t help but notice how shaky it was “Sometimes I struggle and lately all i’ve done is struggle with it”

“Then let me help you” Something had changed in the air, it was heavy and full of anticipation, his voice had changed too, lowering in octaves and flowing like a melody in your ear. There was a dull throb coming from between your legs, the fact you were only in an oversized shirt and panties really set a mood for you.

“Hyuck-”

“I like the way you say my name” You gulped again, this time his name coming out in a subtle whine “Fuck don’t do that”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m positive”

“I” You were speechless, shaky “Okay” He couldn’t hold back the smirk that played on his lips. You set the camera down in front of you as you sat up, using your open laptop as a stand and making sure he could only see the top half of you. You didn’t take your shirt off, but you took off the bra you were wearing under it alongside of your underwear, you threw them both onto the floor. You were so nervous but so turned on and it was all his fault and the fact that he knew only left you more nervous.

“We can start off slowly” You nodded, already sort of breathless “Do whatever makes you most comfortable”

“Can I keep my shirt on?” He laughed slightly.

“Baby you can keep on whatever you want” His voice was noticeably deeper when he said baby, it only caused more sensations to hit you. “I want you to be gentle with yourself, no rushing, at least for now okay? And you have to use your words if you want something or if i ask you a question, do you understand”

“I do” Your voice was quieter, there was a hint of dominance in his tone and words, it had you quivering slightly.

“Good girl” You whimpered, audibly whimpered just from him saying that “You’re so fucking cute” He couldn’t help but add that, you were so precious, so sweet. So wreckable. All he wanted to do was get his hands on you and break you. “Bring your fingers under your shirt for me “Touch your body, bring your fingers to your nipples, tease them, pinch them” You couldn’t help but notice just how experienced he sounded, feeling jealous at everyone who ever had him before. You followed his words, fingers dragging under your shirt, the material shifting above your hand as you reached where he wanted you. Your fingers were relatively cold due to the beginning of winter air, the sensation made you tingle all over. You traced slow circles around your nipple, fingers lightly pinching it, you gasped at yourself. You had never realised how sensitive they were, maybe it was a normal thing or maybe it was because of Haechan, it was most likely the latter, the boy set your body on fire just by looking at you.

“Bring your hand down” You knew what it meant, but you still wanted to hear him say it, hear the sinful words drip from his lips like they were as simple as asking you how you were “Drag your fingers down your stomach, lightly dig your nails into your thigh, leave a little mark and pretend I left it there” The pit in your stomach grew as your eyes fluttered shut, imagining he was there, running his fingers over your skin and being able to feel the heat radiating off of your core, you had a feeling he would laugh at that, one his deeper, rougher laughs.

“Guide your fingers to your cunt for me baby” Your body jolted at his words, he somehow managed to come out with the perfect words to make things more intense for you. Your fingers moved to where he wanted them, where you needed them, two of your fingers coming out to drag up your slit, you whimpered when you felt just how worked up you had gotten, settling your fingers on your clit and opening your eyes to look at him. “Are you that wet?” He could tell from the whimper you let out, you nodded slightly “Use your words” His voice dropped in octaves, you put pressure on your clit unintentionally due to it “Tell me how wet you are”

“Hyuck..” You trailed off, head resting against the wall behind you and your eyes in a daze on the camera “it's-” He found it cute how much you were struggling “I’m so wet” The words you said went straight to his cock, he had to close his eyes momentarily to calm himself, all he could imagine was being there with you, feeling just how wet you were on is fingers, he sighed. He wanted to make things even harder for you.

“Now why are you so wet sweetcheeks?” You almost choked at his question “You were just on a normal call to a friend, you can’t have gotten that wet so quickly” No, it was true, you were feeling things the second his face popped up on the screen with his wet hair and shirt sticking to him, you fucking hated how he made you feel and how he acted like he was so clueless about it when he wasn’t. “Why don’t you tease your little clit whilst you tell me, hmm?” He cocked his head to the side and smirked. Bastard.

“It’s because of you” Your voice was shaky, so were your movements, fingers grazing against your clit as you began to move them in small circles. “You looked so..” You took in a deep breath, putting more pressure on yourself as your eyes went back to him, you weren’t sure if it was just due to the need you felt, but he looked even more appealing than he did before.

“So what?” You gulped at his tone.

“So fucking hot” You whined and lifted your hips slightly when you moved your fingers faster, he laughed, laughing was definitely his way of coping right now. The two of you made eye contact and the look in his eyes made you shiver. “Haechannie” It was the first moan you let out and it was of his name, if he wasn’t already painfully hard then he would’ve been by now. “I want you to join me” His eyes were almost black, you had never seen someone so sinful in your life.

“You want to watch me get off to you?” You felt shyer now he had said it, but fuck you didn’t want anything else.

“I wanna see you” He couldn’t deny you, he was in far too deep to do so, especially tonight. The air felt cold when he pulled his sweatpants down, it seemed fitting that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath them. You couldn’t see his cock, but the fact he had his hand wrapped around it right in front of you made your mouth water, fingers gripping the sheets as you could feel yourself grow wetter under your fingers. He let out a deep breath when he dragged his hand down his cock, squeezing the base and leaning his head back slightly, his hair fell into his eyes and he left his lips parted.

“Is this what you wanted?” His other hand gripped the armrest of the chair he was sitting on “Or do you want to see more?” You couldn’t help but whimper, you knew he was referring to showing you his cock.

“You, you don’t have to” He let out a breathy laugh.

“But,” There was a rasp in his voice “Do you?” He raised his eyebrow.

“Please” It came out as a moan, you spoke before you could think and you panicked for a few moments but that panic faded when he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it to the floor, his hand reaching forward to angle his phone down. You could see him, all of him, his flushed out face, his body that left you wanting to claw your nails into him, his thighs that looked so thick, muscular. Rideable. And his cock looked so appealing, even more so when his hand wrapped back around it. He was thick, not overwhelmingly so but you knew you would feel a stretch with him as well as the length he seemed to have too. You were never sure if someone could ever have the ‘perfect cock’ but you were sure Lee Haechan did.

You weren’t sure what came over you, but you angled your own phone down, not having the confidence to take your own shirt off but spreading your legs wide enough for him to see your fingers on yourself as well as letting your face still be in the shot. You had never done anything like this before with anyone, it was exciting, thrilling, and even though he was on the other side of the phone, you could feel the heavy tension that surrounded the two of you.

Everything seemed like a blur, he was basically fucking his hand in front of you, because of you, watching your fingers move quicker on yourself. He found himself addicted to your moans, even more so addicted to the ones that were of his name. He couldn’t get over how sweet you sounded and he swore to God if he could have you in that moment he would make sure every ounce of sweet innocence you had would be gone.

“Go faster baby” You could only whine and listen to him, hips moving on their own with the amount of pleasure you were giving yourself, trying to get as much friction as possible. You so badly wanted to shut your eyes and take in all of the pleasure, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. You couldn’t stop listening to him either, his breathing had increased and there was a subtle moan in his voice whenever he spoke, fuck you wanted him.

You watched each other grow closer, your eyes never left each other once and you knew it was only a matter of time until you both came and the sound of your name falling from his lips only pushed that forward.

“Hyuck please” You whined again, moaning leaving you as you brought yourself closer, his hand never stopped on his cock.

“Cum for me” It was almost embarrassing that those words from him were pretty much all you needed to be set off, letting yourself go as you couldn’t keep yourself still, trying your hardest to keep your eyes open as he bucked his own hips up and started his own orgasm. Your thighs were shaking, body and eye tired by the time you had somewhat recovered, all of the feelings rushed back when you saw him with his head tipped back and his eyes on you, his cum dripping down his body. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, but you knew you had to end the call as quickly as possible, that wasn’t hard when he noticed how drowsy you had become. “Go to sleep, you need it” There was a sleepy smile on your lips, the smile he had unintentionally grown to adore.

“Thank you” Your voice was quiet, despite being so out of it, you were incredibly flustered.

“You’re so fucking cute” He had a habit of saying that “Sweet dreams my love” He ended the call and you found yourself with barelyany energy left to clean yourself up. Your mind was blank, empty, nothing there, only him and he was the last thing on it when you fell asleep. Haechan on the other hand had his mind full, running with thoughts, realising he had just cheated on the girl he once thought he would spend the rest of his life with. Yet again, he didn’t feel bad, he was too focused on you and every little sound that left you. He was gone, completely done for, especially when you were the last thing on his mind when he drifted to sleep with a subtle smile on his face.

-

You flat out avoided him for the next few days, any spur of the moment, spontaneous meet ups the group organised you bailed on, telling Jaemin you were too busy or just couldn’t make it. Lucky for you it only happened twice, but the downside was he made you promise that you would go to his party at the end of the week. You had to go, otherwise he would start getting suspicious, but you had a feeling that he already was suspicious of something he just hadn’t figured out what was going on yet.

You didn’t want to face Haechan and you definitely couldn’t face Miyoung, it was a weird experience and down right morally wrong. You couldn’t help but notice his distance from her in any group photos they took, his arm wasn’t around her and his eyes weren’t shining the way they used to, it both pained and made you laugh when Jeno would send the photos into the group chat to show you ‘what you were missing out on’. Yes, you were missing out on being in a room with the guy you watched cum over his stomach on facetime and his unsuspecting, sweet girlfriend. Haechan hadn’t spoken to you either, not that you blamed him, you had been both put in a fucked up position and you only had yourselves to blame.

You went to Jaemin’s around half an hour before anybody else did. Once you had gotten ready you made your way to his, when you made it there you settled on his sofa and sighed, you hoped your stressed out state wasn’t too easy to notice, but it was your best friend after all.

“So, which one of our friends are you avoiding?” You turned your head and leaned the side of it against the sofa.

“None of them”

“That’s a lie” You sighed and closed your eyes, his next words only made your heart rate increase “Is it Haechan?”

“Why would I be avoiding Haechan?” You tried not to sound too defensive.

“You tell me” He didn’t look away from you and you knew he had some sort of idea of what was going on “If something happened between you two you can tell me” That was the issue, you couldn’t tell him. For all you knew he could just be thinking that the two of you had an argument and you didn’t want to be around him, not that the two of you felt the desperate urge to be near each other and definitely not the need you felt to have him inside of you.

“Nothing’s going on Jaemin” He sighed, he definitely didn’t believe you but thankfully a few familiar voices filled his house before he could say anything more, he looked at you with a look in his eyes that vaguely reminded you of him saying ‘this isn’t over’ but for you it was.

Jeno, Renjun, Haechan and Miyoung all walked in together, the smile on Haechan’s face dropped when he saw you, eyes widening as he quickly tried to regain control over himself. He could only ask himself how and why the fuck you looked as good as you did and why you thought leting such a large part of your thighs show wasn’t going to get to him. Of course it wasn’t your fault, he knew you didn’t dress up thinking of him, but you looked good, way too good for his frail heart to handle, there was a high chance he was either going to have to leave early, alone, or find a way to sort himself out there.

“Well you look hot” Jeno scanned over you a few times before sitting on the other side of you, hand resting on your leg, you let out a giggle that almost hurt Haechan’s heart, how could you still be so cute whilst looking as tempting as you did, or maybe it hurt because his best friend was flirting with you right in front of him. He hoped it was the first but realistically they were both as bad as each other.

“I could say the same to” You felt eyes on you, turning your head, the first person you met the eyes of was Miyoung who was laughing to herself, she motioned to Jeno’s hand with her eyes and raised her eyebrow, little did she know that you were just as, if not more confused than she was. Jeno was hot, undeniably hot and if things didn’t happen with Haechan then you would have been right in there, but you couldn’t. You were already on a one way street to ruining a relationship, you couldn’t do it to a friendship too.

The six of you sat and spoke whilst other people arrived, you were conscious about speaking to Haechan but even more so about speaking to Miyoung, neither of them seemed like good options and really it left you with the people closest to you. At some point Jaemin had left to greet people and Renjun took his place next to you, Jeno’s hand had left your leg a while go but you still felt as if something was touching you, but nothing was, all you knew was that Haechan’s pressing gaze felt like a hundred rocks had fallen on to you, making it unable for you to get up or move, at all. You didn’t feel self conscious, Haechan actually made you feel the exact opposite of that, the way he looked at you like he was ready to ravage you then and there made you feel like you were doing at least something right, the only thing that worried you was the fact Miyoung was right there.

It didn’t take long for Miyoung to disappear to the toilet, Haechan and Renjun had left shortly after, Haechan leaving with a glint in his eyes, looking at you almost indicating that he wanted you to find him. Once again, you were distracted by him, you yearned to have him near and a large part of you wanted to follow him, but you couldn’t, especially not with Jeno right next to you. But when he opened his mouth, you felt like leaving would’ve been the safest option.

“I’m going to assume you noticed that Haechan was staring at you?” Not another, was all you could think, with the rate this was going you were positive Miyoung would know within the next few hours.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” You could have chosen to pretend you didn’t hear him over the music, but you couldn’t not reply.

“You know. We both know you saw him” A sigh left you “It’s not hard for us to see he’s taken a liking to you, in whatever way that is, just don’t do anything stupid” You could’e cried, he noticed and placed his hand on your arm, you looked at him. “Look, he’s not a bad guy, no one has ever came into his life and hit him this hard before, me and Renjun could tell the second we saw how he acted on the first day and i’m pretty sure Jaemin knows something too, none of us really expect Haechan and Miyoung to last. We just didn’t expect it to end the way it’s going to” You sat up, leaning your head to the side to question him.

“What way is it going?”

“With him catching feelings for another woman”

“There’s no feelings there”

“That’s what you think” He stood up, his hand trailing down your arm and into yours, pulling you up causing you to crash into his chest. Jeno looked down at you “Do whatever you think is right, just be careful who you hurt along the way, you’re a really lovely girl and i’d hate to see you make any enemies” With that he left, his tone seemed like it was somewhat of a warning, you didn’t want to hurt anyone but realistically you already had and there was nothing you could do to change it. There was a pressing thought in your mind, what was the point of stopping now you have already started? She’s already going to be hurt. You weren’t a bad person but recently your morals had been all sorts of fucked up.

You needed to breathe, to clear your head and calm down before making any on the spot decisions so you went to the only place in the house that you knew wasn’t going to be occupied, Jaemin’s room. But good God were you wrong. The universe was most definitely not on your side, in fact it was completely against you, you would blame it for your villain origin story if you could.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you were in here” Your voice startled Haechan who sat on the bed, he looked up. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, no other words crossed his mind, maybe it was fate for you to come along and mess him up even more.

“It’s okay you can stay” You hesitantly shut the door behind you, instantly knowing you made the wrong decision. You didn’t sit down, opting to walk a little into the room and stay there, it was dark in there and you felt like questioning what made him leave the party to sit in his best friend's dark room, but you had done the same thing. You reached up to grab the LED light remote you knew Jaemin had, the only downside to your quest was the fact the zipper on your dress slipped about half way down, you gasped. “You okay?” You should definitely not be asking the next question you did, any form of contact between the two of you would set something off, something that really shouldn’t happen.

“Can you zip my dress up please?” He coughed to himself, wide eyed and nodded. You turned around and moved your hair to sit over one of your shoulders, you shivered when you felt him behind you, his breath fanning over the back of your neck. His fingers secured themselves on the zipper as he effortlessly dragged it back up, once he was done you went to turn around but he stopped you, hands going to your hips.

“Hyuck” You sighed, unsure and slightly worried about what he was doing.

“Shh” He rested his head in your neck and pulled your back against his chest, the music downstairs was so loud that you could still hear it where you were, the faint, slow RnB backing track was scarily perfect timing for the position you were in. your hands went back by themselves, fingers running through the strands of his hair and pulling on them lightly when his lips made contact with your neck, his hips rolled forward against yours, you both moved slowly, in sync, once again any trace of any other person had left both of your heads.

“What if someone comes in?” Your voice was quiet, it was a surprise he heard it over the music.

“Then we accept our fate” It was laughable how he had pretty much given up. Whilst he didn’t want Miyoung to know, he didn’t want to sneak around with you. “I just want you” His hand squeezed your hip whilst his other arm snaked around your waist told hold you tighter against him, his lips trailed up to your ear “So fucking badly” You gave into him and relaxed against him, your head leaning back against his shoulder leaving your neck open and clear for him. “You’re the only thing that’s ever on my mind lately, and after the other night. Fuck. I can’t stop thinking about you” You turned around, it was difficult in his grip but you had to look at him. Somehow, his arm felt tighter around you now and the hand that rested on your hip came up to hold your chin. “You’re so beautiful” You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, your hands going back to his hair, not knowing where else to put them and being far too in love with how soft the strands were in between your fingers. Before either of you thought it through he kissed you, there was no hesitation nor end in sight, you both wanted it more than you’d ever wanted something before, surely it was only a matter of time before you admitted to wanting each other too, and not just sexually.

His lips were soft and the kiss was slow, neither of you rushed, both of you were automatically addicted to the feeling. You didn’t think you would end up in this position, at least not whilst he had a girlfriend, and if you were to end up here you expected the kiss to be heated, rushed and full of nothing except lust, but you were so incredibly wrong. There were unexplained feelings behind the kiss, passion and want. Desperation, but not the kind either of you expected. You’d kissed people before, but first kisses never felt this intense and real, the emotions you felt when you first met him, when you first called him Hyuck had come back. You felt like you had been here before and it caused you to panic. You pulled your lips from his and the room fell silent, the music had been drowned out by both of you and you were just staring at each other, his lips were parted and slightly red and his eyes were wide “I’m sorry if you didn’t want it” You gulped and shook your head.

“I did” You took your hands from his hair and removed his arm off of his waist “But we can’t”

“I kno-”

“At least not in the same house as her” Shocked was far too mellow of a term to describe how he felt in that moment.

“What are you suggesting?”

“Come over, tomorrow night around nine and we can” You breathed out a deep breath you never realised you were holding “Talk, i’ll text you the address” You went to leave before you could say anything else but he stopped you, grabbing your arm to pull you back into him to kiss you one more time, it was a little rougher than before.

“I’ll see you there”

-

You were a wreck, in the moment inviting him over seemed like the best solution, but as the clock ticked closer to nine you realised just how much more of his relationship you were probably going to fuck up tonight. You say probably because as much as it shouldn’t happen, with Haechan you began to realise that even if it’s wrong it will still happen. He was just so irresistible and he seemed to always know the right things to say to you to have you weak in the palm of his hand. You felt like he could hear your thoughts, you sat and prayed to yourself that he would arrive earlier rather than later, if he was any later than nine then you would’ve driven yourself into a panic and assumed he wasn’t going to turn up, but he did, five minutes early.

You took a few deep breaths before opening the door for him, he had a small smile on his face and he was leaning his shoulder against the door frame.

“Took your time answering didn’t you” you rolled your eyes and stepped aside to let him in “A pleasure as always” He shut the door behind him.

“Take your shoes and coat off and leave them there” You motioned to the rack near the door and then let him follow you into your living room, it was only when he sat down that you took in his appearance. He was wearing all black, one of those shirts that seemed to cling to him perfectly and a pair of dark jeans that had rips in his thighs. Your mouth watered as the material squeezed his skin through the gaps. His outfit was very different to yours, he was much more put together compared to your oversized shirt than fell down one of your shoulders and the bed shorts you wore.

“Stop checking me out and sit down” Your froze, choosing to avoid his eyes whilst doing so “So why did you invite me here?” You turned your head to look at him, head leaning against the arm he had put behind your head on the back of the chair.

“You know that we need to talk”

“And you thought being alone with me in your house was the best place for that?” You couldn’t argue with him, this was more or less the worst place to have this conversation, especially as you knew how speaking and being alone with him usually ended.

“Are you complaining about it?”

“Of course not” He wanted to be alone with you, even if he couldn’t admit it. You looked down at your hands before speaking.

“Do you know how badly we’re fucking up?”

“Very badly” Yet he didn’t seem bothered.

“Then, why doesn’t it seem like you care?” You looked up from your hands and to his face, the arm he had behind you moved and his fingers began to play with the ends of your hair.

“Because I don’t” You expected a response, just not one that left you speechless and you were glad that he continued speaking so you didn’t have to. “I don’t care about anything when you’re around” His words sounded light but his confession was heavy, he seemed to have a longing look in his eyes, he was staring off into the wall near your head “I don’t care about who I hurt” It was a bold statement, even more so because of how long he and Miyoung had been together for “Something changed when we met”

“I know”

“I think about you a lot” He seemed like he had a lot to say and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him from talking “Even when Miyoung is around, there’s a part of me wishing it was you instead”

“You can’t say that” His eyes flickered to yours and he laughed “Why not? It’s true”

“But you can’t just admit it so easily” He sighed, matching your movements as he leaned the side of his head against the sofa, except his other hand came forward and he ran the tips of his fingers down your cheek.

“You wanted to talk so i’m talking, even if it’s wrong I don’t feel bad for thinking about you, kissing you. Wanting you to be in the place Miyoung is in”

“Hyuck”

“Even if I can’t have you, just give me on night, or at least one kiss, just one to remember you by”

“I can’t” He knew your morals were better than his. “I can’t just let you go” Or not.

“Then let me in”

“You have a girlfriend”

“That I don’t fucking want, I don’t want her, I want you. Just you and only you” You probably should’ve made him break up with her before your next move, but you couldn’t seem to stop yourself from swinging your legs over his lap and straddling him. Your hands held his face, forehead resting against his and your eyes closing.

“What the fuck is wrong with us?” His arms went around your waist and tightened.

“I guess we’re shitty people” You frowned but the feeling of his lips grazing your sent jolts through your body and the upset expression was gone “But we’re shitty people together” In a way, it was comforting “We have each other and that’s what matters, that’s what will always matter” Your fingers dragged through his hair, twisting the strands around your fingers.

You didn’t respond to his words, only deciding to press your lips against his and cave into the need for him, again. The kiss lasted for a while, only breaking it for air but going straight back in. His lips were just as, if not softer than they were the night before, they drove you wild, he drove you wild. The kiss only got disrupted when you pulled away and whimpered, feeling his nails digging into your leg, you both looked down. Somehow during the kiss he had dug his nail into your thigh, dragging it down and shaping out the letter H in a capital there, you weren’t sure how you didn’t notice till he was finished but it set your insides on fire. He didn’t draw blood, but he was rough enough to leave a bumpy scar behind him.

“Now you really are mine”

“Haechannie..” You ran your fingers over the mark and gasped, he hooked his fingers under your chin and pushed it up to make you look at him.

“Bed, now” You stood up quicker than you anticipated, hand in his and pulling him behind you to your room. He pressed you against the wall and kissed you again, this was the most heated kiss you’d experienced with him so far, hands going under your shirt and throwing it over your head, pinning your hands above you by your wrists before slowly dragging his hands down your arms. Dragging them down your waist and digging his fingers into your skin as he did, he never took his hands off of you once and he didn’t want to. Your skin was so soft under his hands, addicting to touch and getting more into the moment as his hands stayed on you. It was your turn to drag your hands under his shirt, doing the same to him as what he did to you, shirt going over his head and pooling onto the floor on top of yours. You wasted no time in dropping your hands to the zipper of his jeans and fumbling with it, zipping it down as his hands pushed yours away and he discarded his jeans into the clothes pil. Your shorts were next and the second they were off of you and onto the floor he broke the kiss and pulled you forward, pushing you back to lay on the bed before climbing on top of you.

“Gonna fuck you so good” You whined and bucked your hips up slightly, at this point both of you were just in your underwear, it would be so easily for him to move them aside and fuck you. The fact you could feel the weight of his cock drag against your panties only made your legs shake, you wanted him so badly. His fingers snuck around your back, you arched it to let him unclip your bra and throw it to the side, lips instantly leaving yours to go to your neck. The kisses were wet, open mouthed kisses being placed on your neck and to your chest, he left marks behind as he journeyed over your body, stopping at your nipples to wrap his lips around one of them and graze it with his teeth. One of his hands went to your other one, squeezing it between his fingers before pulling his lips off of it and going back up to your neck, he sunk his teeth into the skin of your collarbone as he dragged his fingers from your nipple to your underwear, sniffling a laugh when he felt the wet patch that was seeping through them.

“You’re so needy” He pushed your underwear to the side and lifted his head to look down at you, his other arm resting beside your head to keep him up and he raised his eyebrow when his fingers made contact with your slit “You didn’t lie when you told me how wet you get” His crude words only made things more intense. “What got you this wet, hmm?” You couldn’t word your reply, especially when he rubbed his fingers in circles around your clit before bringing two down to push inside of you, he didn’t like like that though “Didn’t I once tell you to use your fucking words?” There was a drastic change to the tone of his voice, your eyes widened and your fingers went to his arms, nails digging into his skin as he fucked his fingers into you.

“You did”

“What did I do baby?” You whined and threw your head back as his fingers got faster, curling up inside of you.

“Made me like this” For some reason, whether it was from embarrassment or shyness, you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words to him.

“Made you what?” He cocked his head to the side, eye’s not leaving yours as his fingers continued to fuck you “Got you so overwhelmed and soaked? You’re so cute” He called you cute a lot, more than you had heard from anyone before and you enjoyed it. Despite the pressing sexual tension that sat on both of your shoulders, the words made you feel light. He noticed you looked at him as if you had words on the tip of your tongue “Something you want to say?”

“Please fuck me” He did have a feeling those were the words you were going to say, but actually hearing you say them hit a switch in him. He had to close his eyes for a moment in order to actually be able to breathe. When he did calm himself down he pulled his fingers out of you, dragging them up your body, leaving a wet trail in his path. It took him a few minutes to finally rid you both of the underwear that blocked you from finally connecting with each other. Time had felt like it stopped when he kneeled up between your legs, pumping his cock a few times before guiding it to you. You wanted to watch him, wanted to see how he reacted when he finally got to push his cock into you, but it was difficult, the second the head of his cock stretched you out slightly your eyes were closed, head falling back against the pillow and your fingers reaching for anything they could grip on to, one found the bedsheets whilst he hand grabbed your other. Your eyes opened when your hand made contact with his, he wasn’t looking at you, too focused on watching his thick cock disappear inside of you. He was easy to get lost watching, cheeks flushed and hair messy as he focused on pressing the last of himself inside of you.

“You okay?” His eyes flicked up to your face, cock throbbing when he saw just how fucked out you looked, he didn’t really expect a reply, despite telling you to use your words, he saw just how intensely overwhelmed you were and knew it would be a struggle for you to talk. So when you did speak he was shocked, but the words you said hit him hard with both shock and an ego boost.

“You’re so fucking big” His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head, he accidentally bucked his hips forward because of it. He panicked a little before calming down, your cry of his name assured him you were more than okay and that you were really enjoying the moment, he swore you knew what you were doing with everything you did and said “Don’t hold back, I can take it, I promise” You promised him, promised you could take whatever he gave you and fuck, the offer was tempting, too tempting.

So he gave in to you, the hand he held his cock with was now pressed against the pillow next to you, his other hand still in yours, he pinned it to the other side of the pillow next to your head, rolling his hips forward in a fluid motion, the way he so easily rolled his hips to make his cock reach depths inside of you left you more than pleasantly surprised. Considering you barely felt bad about what you were doing earlier, now that he was inside of you, fucking you the way he was, any ounce of guilt you could have had was thrown out of the window and you were way too focused on him and his cock, he was addicting.

You weren’t sure why he wouldn’t let go of your hand but you didn’t hate it, you liked it. He was fucking you like he had been dreaming about you for yours, skin hitting against yours as his fingers gripped onto what they could, the bedsheets and your hand, you didn’t know who had the tighter grip but they were both similar in strength, you wanted to blame it on the pleasure but deep down you knew it had something to do with not wanting to let go of eachother, knowing just how easy it would be for him to slip between your fingers again.

Haechan being voal very quickly became a favoured thing of yours, the more he fucked you the more moans he let out, at one point his head ended up in your neck, hand still in yours and your other hand pressed against his back, nails aching down his back. His moans were heavenly, like a melody of a sweet love song in your ears. Sometimes they went higher in pitch but for the majority of the time he fucked you they were low, becoming more frequent when he heard your own moans too. All you could do was cry out his name followed by pleads and he was just as gone as you were, he was rambling into your neck things along the lines of ‘so fucking good’ and ‘I can’t get enough of you’.

You knew he was drawing close to his end when his thrust got more erratic, lifting his head out of your neck to look down at you, his hair was stuck to his forehead and his lips were swollen and parted. You wanted him to cum, you wanted to feel him fill you up until you were leaking with him.

“Cum inside me fuck please cum inside of me” He moaned, it was the most drawn out one yet. Your words got to him like nothing else had ever before, he couldn’t help but listen to you and let himself go, fucking his hips against yours, practically drilling into you before pressing himself as deep as he could inside of you and stilling. For once you weren’t too bothered that you hadn’t come, too caught up in how his cum felt dripping out of you. In fact you were so caught up that you didn’t realise he had quickly brought his head between your thighs and wrapped his lips around your clit. It was quick and intense and so hot of him to not care that he had just fucked you and came inside of you, putting his tongue to work on you to make sure he could push you over the edge. He wanted you to cum and he loved the mess he was making with it, your fingers tangling in his hair, hips bucking up against his face. He didn’t say anything nor did he bring his face up to properly breathe, he seemed focused and dedicated on making you cum on his tongue, secretly wanting to get a taste of your cum mixed with him.

He got just that, digging his fingers into your thighs and sucking on your clit. You came, without a warning to both of you, the orgasm hit you hard but seeing him licking up the mess you both made hit you more. When he brought his face up it was wet, lips and chin glistening, eyes almost red and his breathing unsteady, you did the only thing you could think of and pulled him forward to kiss you, moaning at just how sinful you the taste of him was.

When the kiss broke he moved to lay next to you, arm going over your shoulder as you laid on his chest. There was a silence, a comfortable one, but it didn’t last long, it was broken by the message tone of his phone going off a few times. He stood up and got it out of the pocket of his jeans, deciding on going back to lay with you before looking at the screen, he sighed when his phone lit up.

“What is it?”

“Miyoung” There was a feeling of dread flowing through you “She's called me six times and messaged me four”

“Is it important?” He shook his head.

“She was just asking me where I was”

“What are you going to tell her?” He brought his finger up, signaling for you to wait for a minute. When he was done typing he showed you the message he had sent her.

[Haechan] 22:46pm: I’m breaking up with you.

You gasped and he took it as a sign that you had read it, quickly closing the chat and turning his phone off before letting it hit the floor, you looked at him with wide eyes.

“Are you sure you wanted to do that?” He laughed.

“I want you” Was all he said back to you.

“I want you too”

“Then surprise, i’m yours”

-

Tag list - @moonxroses, @hyunberries, @rensxn, @starryjens, @sangytv, @eunoia-kth

[nct-fic-recss]

𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍

the image does not belong to me. credits to the original owner.

PAIRING | BEST FRIEND!HAECHAN X F!READER X REST OF THE DREAMIES 00 LINE

WARNINGS | ORAL (BOTH RECEIVING), ORGY, ANAL, FINGERING, SQUIRTING, MANHANDLING, PINNING, PROTECTED SEX (MOSTLY), HAND JOBS, SLIGHT NIPPLE PINCHING, SWALLOWING A LOT OF CUM, NOT PROOFREAD

SUMMARY | FUCKING YOUR BEST FRIEND ONCE AGAIN ON ANOTHER FRIEND'S BED BECAUSE HE'S GOT A BIG DICK AND THEN GETTING WALKED IN ON WHICH LEADS TO AN ORGY YAY

WORK COUNT | 4.7K

AUTHOR’S NOTE | 10,000 POST 🥳💖💖 MAKE IT FIT DID REALLY WELL AND I HAD MENTION ABOUT WRITING A 2ND PART SO HERE YOU GO! AT FIRST I STRUGGLE BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN PART 2 BUT NOW I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS, THERE ARE TWO OTHER ALTERNATIVE PARTS TO THIS IN THE WORKING BUT I’M NOT SURE IF I’LL FINISH THEM ANYTIME SOON YET <3 HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS !!

TAGLIST | @yukheijoy @ahsshilee-me @renchinworld @ikowyuno @jisungs-hotsauce @jen0zen @sexyjaemin-0813 @dimplehyunn @bebskyy @kkakdugi @nctlovesme @nctdom @wanderingdreamer86 @lewispandora @jijaems @jenoleesmin @tinysushimark @seuomo @subhyuck @morklee02 @haewhore @sexchyuck @iheartjaemin (I WAS UNABLE TO TAG THOSE IN ITALICS. PLEASE FILL THIS FORM IN IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ON FUTURE TAGLISTS. THANK YOU <3)

It’s been two whole months since that incident, the whole Haechan forgetting to switch his mic off before fucking your throat and while it was a hot topic within your group, most of your friends drop the teasing after a few days.

Though Haechan doesn’t. He can’t stop thinking about the way his cock bulges in your throat, the way you moan and if he’s honest, he’s been jerking himself off to the image in his head for weeks. Of you on his bed and sucking him good, so good.

He can’t believe he’s thinking about it again, in the middle of his lecture class as his professor gives the class feedback about the research project that had been submitted last week. Exams were just around the corner and truth be told, Haechan hadn’t been studying enough for them.

Soon the class is over and he gathers his stuff but before he can leave the lecture hall, his professor calls his name.

Fuck, had he taken notice of him not paying attention?

“Yes?”

“Your project…” The professor holds up a few stapled papers in his hands. “It’s great, really interesting to read. Hope you can keep up this level of effort for the exam too, okay? Don’t zone out during the actual thing.”

Haechan laughs it off, nodding in agreement before heading off to the library. You’d planned to meet him there with the rest of the group, just to study for the upcoming exams and when he gets there, Jeno and Jaemin are sitting across from you. Renjun is nowhere to be seen as of yet, so he slides himself into the chair next to you, moving your bag onto the floor before greeting the three of you as he opens up his laptop.

“Where’s Renjun?” He asks after bringing up the notes the professor had shared to catch up with the lecture he just had.

“Lab.” You reply, looking up from your textbook. “He said he might be longer than planned, he’ll meet up for lunch though.”

“You should check the group chat’s messages.” Jaemin raises a brow at Haechan, a slight smirk present on his lips and Jeno laughs before being hushed by a nearby librarian.

“Shut up.” But Haechan can’t help smirking either and you feel your face heat up, opting to pretend you never heard Jaemin or even look up. Haechan throws a sideways glance at you, once the two in front have returned their focus back to their work but you’re so concentrated on your work, you don't notice.

You’ve managed to complete most of the questions in your textbook when Renjun sends two messages to the group chat. One complaining about 3 broken flasks and another saying he’s making his way to the library.

“Renjun’s on his way.”

“Finally.” Jaemin breathes out, stretching in his chair before actually getting up and Jeno follows. Carelessly shoving his textbooks and other belongings into his bag but you take your time, making sure you don’t mess up the order of your notes as you neatly organize everything in your bag.

—

It seems that the restaurant you five had plans to eat at this afternoon was rather busy and getting a table wasn’t going to be happening any time soon. “Out of all the days we come here.” Jaemin groans, resting his head on Jeno’s shoulder and Haechan has decided he can no longer wait in the long queue. Already dragging most of the group out the busy place with the promise of paying for take out and so you all begin the walk back to Jaemin and Jeno’s shared apartment.

Renjun’s the one being assigned the job to go pick up drinks after a quick game of rock, paper, scissors and you four wait back at the apartment. “Shouldn’t we wait for Renjun?” You ask, clearing up the table in the living area when Haechan’s already begun eating and Jeno has an idea.

“Why don’t we play a little game of ‘never have i ever’ while we wait?”

“Sure.” You shrug, falling onto the couch next to Jaemin and Jeno starts first.

They’re innocent at first, nothing too much until it’s Jaemin’s turn once again. “Never have I ever…” He turns to look at you, a sly smirk present on his face. “Fucked one of my best friend’s whilst on a call.”

Both you and Haechan lower a finger, and Jaemin is too pleased with himself.

“You probably enjoyed listening to us.” Haechan comments and you pressed your lips together, trying to remember if you were really that vocal. You were sucking Haechan off most of the time so you really couldn’t have been that loud?

It was enjoyable, really, and if it wasn’t going to ruin any relationship you had with Haechan, you’d do it once again. You think Haechan feels the same way, well, you hope he does and for some reason, when it’s your turn, you don’t even think before speaking. “Never have I ever wanted to fuck my best friend once again.”

You lower a finger, eyes looking at everything else but in Haechan’s direction and for a moment the room’s silent. Fuck, you should’ve kept quiet about that. Just then, the door to the apartment swings open and Renjun’s back with a bag of cans.

“You waited?” Renjun’s in awe and you clear your throat.

“Ye-yeah, let’s eat.”

Whatever you said before Renjun swung open the door is pushed at the back of the boys’ minds and you're thankful none of them bring it up again during the meal.

—

“Rock, paper, scissors?”

“I’m out, I brought drinks so it’s only fair.” Renjun says as he leans back on the couch and pays no heed to what his friends choose but instead the tv screen. He didn’t have one at his own dorm yet, his room wasn’t big enough but it was enough to get by. He was here to study so he needed to focus on that, but breaks were important too.

“Unlucky.” Jaemins groans with a smile when you lose and you begin to pick up the rubbish quickly to not miss anymore of the movie.

Haechan is still drinking from the can in his hand when you get up to go to the kitchen and he follows moments after, to put it in the bin but also to-

“Hey, about earlier-”

“Yeah, about that-” You can’t look him in the face as you mumble. “Sorry if it made you uncomfortable or anything.”

“No, no, no.” He is fast to protest, wanting to reassure you that you weren’t the only one who felt that way and he’s confident that you didn’t notice him putting down his finger when you spoke. “I… I've been thinking about it a lot too and…” His eyes wander back to his friends, checking if any of them had noticed his absence in the living room and Jaemin seems to have.

“I’d do it again.” He mutters, dropping the can in the bin before returning to his seat on the sofa.

You’re left in the kitchen, dumbstruck and all you can do is think about him fucking you once again.

Did that mean he enjoyed it- Well, of course he did. That was obvious by the way he was whining and groaning as you sucked him off, but enough to do it again?

—

You can’t seem to get Haechan off your mind. Well, what he said actually and it doesn’t help when there’s a rather… steamy scene between two of the main characters getting it on in the shower. You gulp, eyes wandering over to Haechan and you can see his jaw tensing as he’s absorbed by the scene playing on the tv.

All the boys are. As the camera moves to capture the woman on screen arching her back off of the shower wall, hands most likely intertwined with her partner’s roots and moaning like she’d never been tongued down before, you imagine yourself in her place. Haechan being the one kneeling on the shower floor. Just then, your phone buzzes in the back pocket of your jeans and when you check for the reason, it’s a message from Haechan.

‘Come to the bathroom door in 5 mins’.

As you’re reading it, Haechan gets up and excuses himself to the bathroom. Your eyes follow his figure and he has a slight smirk on his face, intended for only you to see before disappearing into the hallway.

You quickly take note of the time 4:53 p.m.

Which meant you’d get up at 4:58 p.m. Okay, okay.

You try to focus back on the movie but it’s no use, you can’t help but check your phone every few seconds and as soon as your phone displays 4:58 p.m., you jump out of your seat a little too quickly, startling the boys in the process.

“I just- Bathroom, I’ll be right back...” You awkwardly excuse yourself, biting your tongue once you step into the hallway and mental scolding yourself for being so horny. They are sure to catch on now so whatever Haechan has planned, you’ve got to be quick.

You knock the bathroom door and Haechan immediately opens it, as if he’d been standing there the whole time. “So-”

He takes a step forward and you think he’s about to kiss you when-

“Jaemin’s room, Jeno would rip my dick off.” He whispers and you look at him with disbelief.

“Why Jaemin’s?” You argue in a quiet tone and Haechan asks if you’d rather it be Jeno’s. “How about, neithers?”

“Living room then? I don’t mind fucking you on the coffee table in front of-” Haechan smirks as he closes Jaemin’s bedroom door as quietly as he can and you give in, taking a mental note to let Jaemin know to change his bedsheets later on. They didn’t match the wallpaper.

“Been thinking…” He’s inches away from your face, his hands coming up to take hold of the edge of your hoodie and tugging it off, with your help. “About,” He places his index fingers through your belt loops, once your hoodie’s been thrown on the floor and pulls you closer, both your hands landing on his chest “...last time.” He’s centimeters away from you, both your bodies pressed together and then, finally, he kisses you.

You’ve been kissed before, but by no means are you a professional kisser, so you let Haechan guide you. He always knew what he was doing anyways, tilting your head to the side as he backed you towards the Jaemin’s bed.

“What last time?” You fall on your ass, a cheeky grin planted on your lips and Haechan gets on top, pushing you back even further until he’s able to easily cage you in his arms. Returning his lips against yours, he blindly reaches for both your arms and pins them both above your head.

“Guess I’ll have to remind you then, eh?” Leaning down, he undoes the buttons of your jeans and then the zipper, not even bothering to take off your jeans as his digits slide in. His hand cupping your heat inside of your jeans and giving it a tight squeeze over your pants.

You whimper and it’s enough to get him hard. The steamy shower scene in the movie earlier did not have nearly as much of an affect on him like the noises you made did.

“You took my cock so well, ___.” He mumbles, moving his lips down to your neck and continues his kisses as he moves his fingers over the soft fabric. “Wanna fuck your throat again.” He groans, moving his lips to your chest and wrapping his hand around your neck like he did last time he fucked you. “So good.”

Moments later, he’s tugging your jeans off along with your panties and pressing his boner against your bare core as he goes for your bra. You whine again but this time even louder and he’s quick to tell you to tell you to keep it down.

“Look what you’ve done.” Haechan yanks you up by your hair so you can see the wet spot on his jeans and whispers. “That was you, baby.”

There’s that nickname once again.

He lets go of your hair and your eyes follow him as he moves around to your head, his knees on either side. Undoing his own jeans before pulling out his erection, he rubs the precum down his length and your mouth waters as you look at it. You swear it’s bigger than you remember or maybe it’s gotten bigger.

“Want it?” He asks despite knowing the answer and you’re eager to please him, opening your mouth as you take in his tip. Your tongue swirling around it and sucking it in a teasing manner. The fabric of his jeans rubs against your forehead and you’re disappointed he’s still dressed, wanting nothing more than his balls to be pressed up against your face.

Haechan watches you as you take in more of his dick, one of your hands making their way to your core whilst your other hand rests on your thigh. Two of your digits dipping down into your hole as you attempt to pleasure yourself too.

Trying to get off yourself? Why didn’t he lend you a helping hand? Or helping tongue, rather?

Haechan leans over, pushing his length further into your mouth and pushes both your hands away, planting his own on the outside of your thighs as he dips his head. The bottom of his tongue moving over your clit and you shiver at the strange sensation, momentarily forgetting about the cock in your mouth.

“Feels good?”

You hum around his length, making his brows knit in pleasure and he thrusts himself even further in your mouth, cock tickling the back of your throat. You swallow around his dick, any moans and whines muffled as Haechan’s tongue moves down your folds.

You’ve seemed to have truly forgotten that you’ve got his cock brushing the back of your throat, your mouth idle and Haechan decides to take matters in his hands. Pulling out and letting you take half a breath before filling your throat right back up once again, tongue still working it’s magic over your heat.

He’s fucking your face and eating you out. It’s all too much yet not enough, you’re climax beginning to build up and you can’t breathe properly with such a huge dick fucking your throat without mercy.

You manage to move your hand up to his waist, pushing him away and ruining your own orgasm as well as Haechan’s. Your chest heaving as you take large breaths and he apologises.

“You’re so, fucking big.” You manage to choke, after controlling your breathing and he laughs.

“Oh, I know.”

But what he doesn’t know is what you’re going to do when you roll onto your stomach and elbows digging into Jaemin’s mattress as you reach for his dick.

“What-”

“Still want it.” You look up at him with the tip of his length in your mouth, softly sucking it and Haechan groans, throwing his head back. You work your way down his length, spit drooling down the sides of your mouth and once you can take more than half of it, you place both hands on his thigh. Sinking your head even lower, your nose brushes against the little dark curls and Haechan tries to bite back a moan.

But he can’t.

“Shit.” He curses right after, mouth hanging open and you hug his waist like you did the first time. Keeping your head where it was, you push down the urge to gag as your throat tightens around him which makes him whine. “I’m close.”

You grab onto his hands, guiding both up to your hair, lacing them through your roots, as you begin to move your head once again and Haechan understands.

“Face fuck?”

You nod as best as you can.

“Little ___, wants to get face fucked.” He chuckles. “What a whore.”

This earns him a slap on his clothed stomach and then you remember, he’s still not undressed yet so you decide to change that. You push up his top to reveal his stomach and as far up to his chest as you can, with the position you currently are in.

“Off?”

Another nod.

“Okay.” He replies, delivering a rather harsh thrust into your face as he pulls it over his head and you let out a rather annoyed noise. “Oh, sorry.” He returns his grip on his hair, fingers intertwined through your roots and gentle at first but as his climax nears, he can’t help but be rough.

Soon your elbows start to get tired and Haechan takes notice, flipping you back on your back, his hand jerking his cock so his climax didn’t disappear for the second time before sliding back into your mouth. In this position he can see his own cock bulge in your throat and it’s such a mesmerising sight.

When he cums, it’s right in your mouth and you're sure to take in every last drop of his cum. His cock stays in your mouth as you do, until he decides to pull out. Overstimulation in this position wasn’t ideal, he didn’t want his knees giving in and him falling on top of you.

There’s some cum smeared on your cheek and he’s sweet enough to swipe it with his thumb, bringing it up to your lips. You happily take his thumb into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and Haechan coos over great of a job you’ve done. Now that you think about it, he looks funny from this angle.

“Your turn.” Haechan gets up from Jaemin’s bed to remove his jeans and boxers.

“Finger me first, okay?”

“Afraid Haechan junior won’t fit?”

“Haechan jun-” You throw him a judgemental glance. “Why.”

“Why not?” He shrugs, throwing his clothes on the other side of the bed to where he’d thrown yours. “I made it fit the first time, I can do it again. Don’t worry baby.”

“Because it’s weird?”

“You’re weird.” He comments, falling next to you on the bed on his side and his fingers trace over your folds.

“Like this?” You refer to the position he’s in, expecting something a little different.

“I’m comfy!”

You push back one of his legs, resting your head on his thigh so that you are comfortable too as he continues to tease your heat. You bring up one leg, spreading your legs before realising how close you were to his cock.

He’s soft now, well semi-soft and you can now clearly see it. His dick rests nicely against his thigh and you think about all the times you’ve hugged before, thinking he was hard when he’s been hauling around such a large package in his boxers.

Haechan is watching you as you stare at his dick, his lips curling up and he applies some level of pressure to your clit with his thumb that you licked, making you snap your legs together.

“You’re mean too.”

“You like it though.”

—

Haechan is able to finger numerous orgasms out of you as if it were a simple task when you struggle to give yourself just one some nights. Back to towering over you, his tongue and fingers attacking your core as you arch your back off the bed. Haechan has got his other hand over your mouth to keep you quiet and you’re drooling all over the inside of his palm.

When he asks you if you're ready to take his cock, you’re too lost in the pleasure to reply and he has to slap your cunt to get your attention. “Huh?” You gasp, looking up at him with teary eyes and he further tilts your head back by your jaw.

“Ready to take my dick?” He asks, massaging your folds and you gasp once again, your head resting against his bare chest. It’s more comfortable in this position and you’ve got both your hands around his wrists. However when you are about to reply, the bedroom door swings open revealing the three others who were sitting in the living room, supposed to be enjoying a movie but that no longer seemed the case, and for whatever reason, neither of you move.

“I think ___ lost her way to the bathroom.” Jeno jokes in a light hearted manner but poor Jaemin doesn’t find it all too funny.

“I think she went right there.” He’s staring at the wet spots by your legs, on his bed and you’re quick to defend yourself, rather offended to be accused of something like that.

“No! No, that’s-”

“She squirted.” Haechan speaks, pushing apart your legs for all your friends to see how wet you were and it’s almost embarrassing, if it weren’t for the fact that they were staring at you hungrily. He traces his fingertips over your hole before sinking a digit inside you and you seem to get more aroused by being watched. “Wanna see?”

Renjun, who is next to Jaemin, can’t seem to hide the growing tent in his pants and Haechan teases him on the spot. Both Jaemin and Jeno look at the eldest and he attempts to hide the evidence, cheeks going pink out of embarrassment.

“Wanna show them?” Haechan whispers, his fingers moving inside you and over that spot yet again.

You nod, your eyes half lidded as you close your thighs around his hand but it doesn’t stop him from fingering you, especially when he asks who you want first. “Shouldn’t Jaemin…”

“You want Jaemin first?” Haechan takes the words right out of your mouth and the boy named is all too happy to be chosen first. Well, second after Haechan.

It was only fair, the two of you were on his bed and although the boy isn’t too happy you’d been at it on his bed, he doesn’t point it out when he gets to join.

You watch Jaemin reach for his bedside drawers, pulling out a condom, of which the corner he slides into his mouth as he goes for the zipper of his jeans and Haechan manhandles you back on your back, his own cock ready to slip back into your mouth for another round of face fucking. He still can’t get over how it bulges in your throat, the mental image getting him hard once again, and thinks he probably will never get over it either.

“What about us?” Renjun speaks, sounding a little heartbroken.

“I only have two holes.” You mumbles, welcoming Haechan’s length back into your mouth and he gives you a wicked glance.

“Well…”

—

You’ve never felt so full. Apart from the first time Haechan fucked you, you really haven’t and right now, you’ve got three dicks inside you. Renjun’s in your mouth, muffling all your noises, Jaemin’s cock is brushing over your g-spot and Haechan is trying to ease his length into your ass. Lubed up with your spit and some lube laying in Jaemin’s bedside drawers, it’s made it easier than going in dry and he’s halfway right now.

You’re stroking Jeno’s length with your left hand whilst the other helps to hold up your thigh as Jaemin and Haechan thrust into you. Jeno also has a hand wandering over your chest, pinching your nipples when your hand slows down and you whimper everytime he does. The boys are towering around you and you can’t believe you’re doing this with your closest friends.

You wonder what it would be like if Mark was here too, but unfortunately you get to ponder over that thought for long. Your brows scrunch up and you can feel something build up inside of you again, but it doesn’t feel exactly like an orgasm.

Moving your mouth off of Renjun’s length, you replace your hand over it, letting Jaemin hold it up and now, you’re able to moan as you please. “Wait…I’m- I’m,”

“Close?” Jaemin asks, his thrusting suddenly getting harsher as he rammed himself into your wet hole, momentarily keeping him then so you clench around him as well as Haechan’s, and you let got of both cocks in your hold.

Renjun watches your eyes roll back in pleasure, Jeno moving his hand from your chest to your clit and you arch your back off the bed, nearly screaming as you squirt for the second time, all across Jaemin’s torso.

Though Jaemin doesn’t have much time to process that, his own orgasm brought on by your hole convulsing around his cock like mad. Poor boy ends up nearly falling on top of you, crying out as his dick gets overstimulated by you and he finally pulls out when it begins to hurt.

Wincing he falls back on his bed instead, cock gone soft against his thigh and Haechan grabs onto your hips, crashing his head back on Jaemin’s pillows. You are back to resting your head on him as he spreads your legs with his own, making sure you won’t be able to close your legs around the next person.

“Junnie…pussy’s yours.” Haechan draws small circles over your clit, remembering to be gentle as he pushes his length up into you and Renjun grabs a condom, sliding it down his length before thrusting into you.

Despite having taken Jaemin already, you feel tight to Renjun as he thrusts into you. Both his hands on your waist and you look at him through half closed eyes, a broken whimper falling from your lips as he picks up his pace.

Jeno, not wanting to be left out, moves your hand over his dick and helps you jerk his own cock. The image of his cum shooting out and down the length of your arm has him rolling his head back, biting his lower lip.

When you clench around Renjun, he moans but still manages to maintain his pace inside of you. “You close, ___?”

—

You seem to be climaxing at every other thrust, your body trembling with pleasure under Haechan’s and you’re so fucked, that you’ve lost sense of your surroundings. You feel something prod at your lips and you open your mouth without a second thought, two digits pushing past your lips and you don’t even have the energy to look up to see who they belong to.

You hear them coo over how fucked out you are too, before repalcing their digits with their cock and you begin to suck, mindlessly too. Whoever it is, their length is big enough to muffle your moaning but then again, all the boys seemed to be blessed with cocks long enough to rearrange your insides with one thrust.

They aren’t all that gentle but they aren’t harsh either and soon you feel hot release fill up your mouth too, before whoever it was moves back. You let your mouth relax, not bothering to swallow the release as Haechan rams his cock inside you.

With a final thrust from Haechan, he’s cumming inside you. Finger tips digging into your hips as he cries out, you’re surprised he’s got the stamina to out do Jaemin and Renjun. When he pulls out, his release drips out your convulsing hole and down to your pussy. He delivers a light slap to your folds before massaging them with his fingers and his cum.

The rest of the boys can see the mess he’s made, in the position you’re in with your ass up and face down. Haechan presses a kiss on the side of your lips, avoiding Jeno’s cum that’s dripping out your mouth as you give him a tired smile.

“Alright, whores get out!” Haechan moves you on your back once again, grabbing a tissue from Jaemin’s bedside. The boy seemed so prepared, keeping everything within an arm's reach of the bed and you feel Haechan dab at the corner of your mouth.

“But-”

“But what?” Haechan argues back with Jaemin, tossing the cum stained tissue at him.

“...this is my room?”

“Okay, fair enough, you can stay but you two,”

Jaemin disposes of the tissue before crawling next to you on the bed and lays his head next to yours on the pillow.

“Sorry about your sheets.” You apologize after swallowing the cum in your mouth whilst the three other boys bicker in the background.

[nct-fic-recss]

Sorry I haven’t been posting, I’ve been so busy taking over as manager at work and I kinda got a boyfriend so I haven’t had time to read lmao. I’ll probably post a bit more over my Christmas/New years break!

[nct-fic-recss]

Jaehyun Fic Recs

Victus Tamen Lapsis (M.list) // @vintagejaemin

Broken Mirrors // @neovisioned

You May Regret This (M.list) // @lovingyong

Just friends // @ahgase55g7

Domaine de la Romanée (M.List) // @heartau

Luxury // @nctstudio

White Champagne (M.list) // @leesmrk

Fiending // @domjaehyun

House Full Of Heathens // @spookyhyuck

Build Me Up Buttercup // @sehunniepotwrites

Romeo Roulette // @wincore

Winter Bird // @zenyukhei

The Apple Of My Eye // @sehunniepotwrites

Promised // @doiebunny

Checkmate // @doiebunny

Sleep Well, Princess // @anashins

More Coming Soon…

[nct-fic-recss]

Mark Fic Recs

Cherry Wine (M.list) // @starxblossom

Nervous // @sleepingrenjun

Friends-to-lovers! Mark// @taelme

Book Hogger // @chocojaehyun

A clouded fate // @byunbaekby

For I have sinned // @yojeongin

Just Between Us (w/ Yuta) // @taecas

Would You Be So Kind // @sehunniepotwrites

Landslide // @jaeminlore

Extra Clothes // @ncityrave

Everybody Talks // @lucas-wongs

Dark Cloud + Silver Lining // @hyuckles-chuckles

Catch Me If I Fall // @meraki-mark

Sunday Kind Of Love // @smileysuh

Delphinium Part 1, Part 2 // @ateezhoney

More Coming Soon

[nct-fic-recss]

Jungwoo Fic Recs

Cross The Line // @brattyhyuck

More Coming Soon…

[nct-fic-recss]

Doyoung Fic Recs

The trust fund baby // @moonttaeil

Partner in crime // @lovingyong

More Coming Soon

[nct-fic-recss]

Yuta Fic Recs

Songs for you // @moondustis

Just Between Us (w/ Mark) // @taecas

Glossed Over // @gyukult

On My Own // @yutaholic

Empire // @iridesuhnce

Deep End // @yutaholic

More Coming Soon…

[nct-fic-recss]

Taeyong Fic Recs

Hearts In Halves // @bebetae

Use Me // @yutaholic

Playing The Game // @sluttyten

Favourite Crime // @lebrookestore

Loose Ends // @dreaminghaos

Five Star Michelin // @lebrookestore

More coming soon…

[nct-fic-recss]

Johnny Fic Recs

Homecoming // @caiuscassiuss

Queen Of Hearts // @alluringjae

Chance Encounter // @kaepop-trash

Take Care // @yougotthatbilly

Phenomena // @quokkacore

Hate To Say I Told You So // @ateezhoney

Daddy Issues // @yutaholic

More Coming Soon…

[nct-fic-recss]

Sleep Well, Princess

Title: Sleep Well, Princess

Pairing: Jaehyun x You (feat. brother!Taeyong)

Genre: age gap, big brother's best friend au, angst, drama, fluff, romance, slow burn, smut

Warnings: six year age gap, unprotected and kind of public sex (no worries, nothing rated will involve minors!)

Word Count: 12.5k

Summary: When you were six, you developed a crush on your older brother's best friend. When you were thirteen, you fell head over heels in love with him. When you were sixteen, you decided to wait for when the time was right. When you were nineteen, he rejected you.

The first memory you had of Jeong Jaehyun was that of a warm summer evening when you encountered an unfamiliar boy sitting at your terrace.

You had hurried back home from your friend’s house, eager to make it for dinner on time, but when you had arrived, your entire family was gathered in the garden, eating watermelon with a boy you had never seen before.

“That’s Jaehyun!” your older brother Taeyong had introduced him. “He’s new in town and my classmate!”

Jaehyun had worn the brightest smile, the corners of his lips smeared with leftover watermelon that let his skin glisten with sweet juice. You hadn’t even been able to clearly hear the words he was directing at you, that was how full his mouth was.

When you had sat down next to your twelve-year-old brother on the stairs, munching on your watermelon like everyone else, you were watching this new boy Jaehyun from the corner of your eyes, your pupils wanting to stay fixated on the fruit, but still going astray eventually.

He was as tall and slim as your older brother, wearing similar clothes, having similar haircuts, and even speaking and laughing in a similar manner. If anything, they could pass as brothers.

But for your real brother, as a matter of fact, you didn’t want to look at him for so long. But for your brother, you didn’t want him to look back at you. But for your brother, your cheeks didn’t flush so much in his presence.

“My, my!” Taeyong had laughed. “I think my sister has a crush on you!”

You had smacked him so hard, your fingerprints were still visible on his arm later that night. That was one of the downsides of being so close to a sibling: they could read you like an open book. There was nothing you could hide from them.

You had wanted to disappear right there and then, convinced to currently experiencing the most embarrassing moment of your young life so far. You hadn’t even known Jaehyun for half an hour, yet you were labelled as the annoying little sister probably.

But Jaehyun had only laughed, nothing more. And just like that, the topic had been swept under the rug to never be addressed again.

Most children experienced their first crush at the age of five.

You had been six at that time.

Throughout the years, you had not only watched your brother grow, but Jaehyun as well as they became the bestest of friends.

His height had shot upwards so that he was now even towering your brother by a few inches. He had built muscles that were becoming more apparent through his clothings. His face had gotten more expressive features after maturing in his teenage years.

You had been crushing on your brother’s best friend for as long as you could think of.

And then, he broke your heart.

____

When You Were 7

“Yongie! Yongie!”

You ran into the living room, the pink tulle rustling with each step of yours as the wand of the same color swung in your hands when you entered through the door and found your brother sitting on the couch, playing a video game on the big TV.

“Yongie! How do you find my dress?”

Your brother shifted around. “A new princess dress? Looks amazing on you, sis!”

“Right?!” You smiled brightly. “I’m a princess!”

The moment you encountered Jaehyun next to him though, you stopped in your tracks and looked at his best friend, frozen.

You hadn’t been aware that he was here, even though on the weekends, he usually always was. Yet, you suddenly felt so foolish and childish in your pink princess gown with the magic wand, imagining yourself to reign in a non-existent country.

Jaehyun was thirteen years old, of course he would only laugh at little girls who played dress up, especially as princesses.

Slowly, your hand that was holding the wand sank to your side along with your head, and all the sparks from your eyes vanished when it dawned on you that it would probably make Jaehyun think of you sillily when he saw this overly childish side of yours.

“How’s your country called, princess?”

You turned keen-eared upon hearing his words. Immediately, your head shot up and you locked gazes with him, his expression only radiating kindness with the soft smile that he was addressing at you.

Princess.

He had called you princess!

“It’s called ‘Phantasia’!” you announced proudly. “I’m the reigning princess!”

“Well, princess… Where is your crown? A princess usually wears a crown, right?”

“Oh…” You touched your head as though you had placed it there the moment before. “I broke it the last time…”

“No worries. A true princess doesn’t need a crown to make her whole.”

For the rest of the day, you felt like walking on clouds. No one was able to take away what Jaehyun had said to you earlier, and you were even still grinning when your mother read a goodnight story to you later that night.

The weekend after that, Jaehyun was over at your house again.

Taeyong had told you that he was living with his grandfather as his parents were doing business abroad, and whenever possible, the old man needed rest, so Jaehyun spent most of his free time at your house. Your brother didn’t mind, and you were surely the last one to object to this arrangement.

“This is for you, princess.”

You were sitting on the terrace when Jaehyun suddenly appeared in front of you, carrying something in his hand that you weren’t able to clearly see against the sunlight. A moment later, you felt a light pressure on your head.

When your fingers reached up and touched an edgy plastic object on top of your head, you instantly knew what it was without needing to take it off and inspect.

You got so excited, you were sure you were going to burst with bliss.

It was a crown.

“A crown doesn’t make you a princess as you already are one,” Jaehyun explained. “But it’s still nice to have some validation every now and then, right?”

You refused to take off the silver plastic crown with the pink jewels for the next weeks without a single break, even adamant to wear it during bathtime and to sleep until your mother got so sick and tired of it that she took it away and threatened to never give it back to you unless you came back to your senses.

Since then, the crown sat enthroned on top of your drawer so that you had a good look at it from all corners in your room.

It was your biggest treasure.

A month later, Taeyong had his first big party, and of course, all his friends came over, including Jaehyun.

Since his gathering had started during your bedtime, your mother had forbidden you to go downstairs as you should be asleep already, but you were so excited for the event to take place that two hours later, you were still wide awake.

You were listening to the boys’ voices from the ground floor as you peeked through your door and slowly crawled to the very top of the stairs to catch a glimpse at the guests downstairs. But you saw nothing yet, so you sneaked to crouch on the first step.

When you still weren’t able to get even the slightest insight into the happenings, you decided to go down another step in your crouching position, but in the process, you lost your balance so that you suddenly slipped and fell down the rest of the stairs with loud rumbling.

“Ouch!” you let out, feeling all your muscles and bones ache when you finally came to a standstill.

“Taeyong, someone fell down the stairs!”

You were lying on the ground, many pairs of eyes directed at you from above when you opened your lids, but even among all these faces with your head still dizzy, you were able to make out Jaehyun’s features in the corner.

“Let me through, that’s my sister!”

You felt your body getting lifted up and stabilized by the strong arms of your brother.

“Sis, are you okay?” Taeyong was touching your arms, feet, head, and then your upper body. “Thank god, nothing seems to be broken! Are you alright? Is your head okay? We have to make sure that you didn’t get a concussion from the fall! Come with me.”

Your brother carried you in his arms to the couch, the music having come to a pause, and all the gathered boys’ faces were directed at you. The entire situation suddenly got so embarrassing for you, and if your mother would find out, you’d get one hell of a rebuke!

“It’s okay!” you tried to brush it off. “I’m okay!”

You wanted to jump from the couch when a familiar voice suddenly instructed, “Sit still.”

Jaehyun gave Taeyong a frozen pack of pears that your brother then pressed on the back of your head.

“Look at me.”

That was easy. You weren’t able to look at anything or anyone other than Jaehyun anyway. You got lost in his deep, brown eyes that were always so soft but now so serious. He lifted a finger in front of you.

“Follow my motions.”

You nodded and moved your eyes to the right and left, then back, and then to the right and left again as he wanted.

“How many fingers do you see?”

“Three.” Pause. “One.” Pause. “Four.”

“Does something else hurt besides your head on which you have fallen?”

You shook your head. “Only my limbs and back from the fall. But it’s subsiding.”

“She’s all right,” Taeyong then stated. “Thank god.” He put the pack of pears in your hand. “Then I can scold you now! What were you thinking, lurking on the stairs in the middle of the night in the absolute dark?!”

“I wanted to… The kitchen… water... I-” you stuttered, starting to tremble all over as you got so overwhelmed with the entire situation.

“It’s okay,” Jaehyun interrupted him. “It’s late, she just hurt herself… Just leave it be. How about we get you a glass of water and then I’ll bring you back upstairs, okay y/n?”

Like in a trance, you nodded. You couldn’t believe what he had just offered. “Okay.”

“Then continue serving your guests, Taeyong, I’ll be right back.”

You held onto Jaehyun’s warm hand when you followed him up the stairs back into your bedroom. He had never been here before, and suddenly, you wished your room was a bit more tidied up and your plushies wouldn’t be as scattered as usual.

But Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind as he placed the glass of water on your nightstand while you slipped under your blanket.

“Everything okay? Nothing hurts, right?”

You nodded. “I’m alright.”

“Then, I’m glad.”

Relief resonated in his tone, and his eyes only averted for a second, but this single second was long enough for him to notice something at the other side of the room.

“The crown,” he remarked. “It’s there.”

“Of course,” you answered triumphantly. “It’s my biggest treasure!”

“Then take care of it well.” Jaehyun smiled, walked to the door and switched off the lights. “Sleep well, princess.”

“Goodnight, Jaehyun.”

After he had closed the door, you still thought about the events for a long time, even when the voices downstairs vanished one by one. The touch of his hand embracing your fingers remained until the next morning.

You were seven and crushing on Jaehyun.

____

When You Were 10

You were regularly spending your summer breaks at your grandparents’ house by the seaside, and since Jaehyun couldn’t visit his parents in the US this time as they were too busy with their business, you had decided to tag him along with you.

“Yongie, look!” you called for your brother. “My side is already this big!”

Taeyong sat up and looked over the pile of sand to get a glimpse at your construction. “Beat me, sis!”

“You have to hurry up, we have to finish first before mommy calls us for dinner!”

“Alright, alright,” he gave in with a laugh.

You were sitting there in the sand with your blue swimsuit and a straw hat, wanting to build the biggest sand castle this small seaside town had ever seen. But one person, who had volunteered to help, was still missing, even though he had excused himself quite a while ago already.

“Where is Jaehyun?” you asked your brother and looked around from under your hat. “We can’t get it done without him.”

“I don’t know.” Taeyong shrugged. “You wanna look for him? I have some catching up to do here, huh?”

“Okay!”

You arose from your spot and freed your legs and knees from the sand that had gotten stuck on your skin. It was a hot summer evening, and you would have to leave soon, but not without getting this sand castle done, you were very determined.

Walking to the toilets, you waited there for quite a bit, but Jaehyun wasn’t among the people leaving even five minutes later, so you made your way to the stalls where people were selling food, and indeed, Jaehyun stood there by a table. But he was not alone.

From afar, you spotted two girls who were with him, and it was obvious that they were head over heels for Jaehyun.

Somehow, this bugged you very much, your nails digging into the palms of your hands as you clenched them to fists. Jaehyun was only standing there, talking to them, but that was enough to get you sulking, and you didn’t even know why.

Stomping through the sand back to Taeyong, you still weren’t able to get the picture with him and the two girls out of your head.

“Hey sis, look I’m this far al-”

You jumped into the nearly finished sand castle and walked all over the construction.

“Hey! All the hard work is now gone to waste!” Taeyong complained in disbelief.

“I don’t care! I wanna go home!”

“Did something happen?” he asked you gently as you flopped down on the pile of sand and crossed your arms, pulling the straw hat deep into your face.

“No.”

“Why the sudden mood change then?”

“Whatever. Can we just go home?”

“We have to wait for Jaehyun.”

“No, we can just go without him.”

Taeyong deeply sucked in a rush of air and sat down in the sand right next to you. “I know when something happened and you don’t want to tell me, sis. We’re siblings. We just feel it.”

You wanted to scream from the top of your lungs, not being able to sort these controversial feelings into anywhere as you had never experienced anything like it before.

“We don’t need to wait for Jaehyun as he already has company,” you pressed through gritted teeth.

“Who?”

“Girls.”

“Mhm… I see.”

Only the sound of the sea was audible to you as you continued sitting quietly next to each other, counting the sand grains to your feet.

“Jaehyun is a good looking, sixteen year old guy. Nobody can withhold him from talking to girls or girls coming to him in the first place,” your brother then opened the conversation. “You’ve grown up with the two of us, sis. Of course you’d get attached to him too and view everyone else as a threat to your relationship with him. But him talking to other girls besides you is normal, and you gradually have to accept this.”

You continued to sulk, but as his words slowly dawned on you, you started to make sense of these feelings as well.

“Remember when I brought my female friend home one day and you were on our nerves the rest of the time she was there?”

Of course you remembered. You had been jealous that his entire attention was directed at her only, even though usually, he spent his free time with you.

You hadn’t talked to him the entire next day.

Oh.

“For me, you’ll always be my little sister. Even when I get a girlfriend or will be married one day, you will come first for me.” These words made you smile amongst the chaos within you. “One day, Jaehyun will find someone he loves and wants to spend his life with as well, and this person will be the number one for him - just like you are for me.”

“And why can’t I be that person?”

Taeyong chuckled and his arms wrapped around you for a comforting embrace. “Because you are my person already.”

“And if I want to change that person?”

You laughed out loud together now.

“You wouldn’t want someone to keep us apart as well, right?”

“Of course not!”

Taeyong stopped laughing. “Then you must realize that you can’t act to Jaehyun this way.”

Turning serious again, you inhaled deeply. “I don’t want to be a nuisance to him.”

“You’re not, sis. But if you keep feeling and acting this way, you’re on the verge of being. But don’t worry, you’ll always hold a special place in Jaehyun’s life. I know.”

Somehow, this reassurance from Jaehyun’s best friend calmed you down. In the end, he was the person who knew him the best.

“Hey you two.”

You both looked up, and you had to blink a few times before you recognized Jaehyun in front of you. Speak of the devil.

“I’m sorry that it took me so long,” he apologized. “Some girls wouldn’t let me go, even though this entire time, I was afraid the ice cream would melt. But I still made it on time, I hope.” He held a popsicle right in front of you. “Here, for you.”

“For… me?” you wanted to make sure, and he nodded.

With care, you took the popsicle into your hand.

“What about me?” Taeyong asked.

“Get your own one.”

“Unfair!”

With sparkling eyes, you stared at the popsicle. The sweet liquid was already dripping on your fingers and on the sand underneath you, but you didn’t mind. Amidst everything, he had brought this to you.

“Thank you,” you said gratefully.

“Of course,” Jaehyun smiled.

When you came out of the bathroom after having showered, you passed by Taeyong’s room where he and Jaehyun were residing during your stay. You wanted to barge in to say goodnight before you went to bed, but stopped when you overheard them talking heatedly.

“What about the girls from before?” your brother asked. “You gonna meet them? They were from Seoul too, right?”

“Of course not. You know I’m not going to date anyone.”

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy your youth.”

You heard Jaehyun laugh. “Yeah, not now. Maybe later.”

Somehow, it set your mind at ease. With a fluttering heart, you walked inside the room and told them, “Goodnight, guys!”

“‘Night, sis.”

“Sleep well, princess.”

You were ten and now knew what jealousy meant.

____

When You Were 13

It was your first time trying to use eyeliner as you stood in the bathroom, painting the black line along your right lid.

“Oh no!” you then exclaimed, having miscalculated the angle again and now in the process of making this line thicker than the one on your left lid. “I’ll never get it right…”

In the end, you considered yourself satisfied with what you had gotten right and put a bit of your mother’s lipstick and blush on. Throwing kisses and posing in front of the mirror, you threw your hair back and forth, inspecting your reflection from every side.

Not flawlessly perfect, you thought, but close to it.

In two inch heels, you walked out of the bathroom with your cutest dress on. From downstairs, you could already hear your brother shouting to your mother across the room that he was taking her car now, so you knew you didn’t have much time left before he’d leave.

“Taeyong!” you called after him, coming down the stairs with rather shaky steps and much slower than you intended. “Taeyong, wait! Can you take me with you and drop me off at Seulgi’s please?”

“Huh? Okay, then hurry up, Jaehyun is on hi-”

He stopped mid-sentence and watched you stop on the ground floor, not having recognized you at first glance.

“What did you do?” Taeyong then yelled, approaching you with hasty steps. “Why do you look like a panda? What’s with these dark eyes? That’s ridiculous!”

He wanted to touch your face, but you slapped his hand away. “That’s eyeliner! Everyone wears that nowadays!” you defended yourself.

“But not a thirteen year old!” he said indignantly. “And that lipstick? Is there a clown parade in the neighborhood I have to know about? Is that why you meet up at Seulgi’s? And what’s with these shoes? You can’t even walk in them! Did you get them from mom? They’re way too big!”

“Of course I can walk in them!” you yelled back at him. “Mind your own business, will you?!”

“You look entirely ridiculous, sis! Go dress yourself properly and wash your face at once! I’m not taking you with me if you look like this!”

“No way!” You stomped with your feet on the ground. “I can dress however I want!”

“Mom!” Taeyong then yelled louder. “Mom, come loo-”

“Knock, knock.”

You both turned around and encountered Jaehyun standing by the open entrance door.

“You didn’t hear me, so I thought I’d just go inside and then I saw you shouting at each other. What’s up even?”

“My sister is up!” Taeyong placed his hand on his forehead as though in exhaustion. “She decided to join the circus today, apparently! Just look at her!”

You felt tears welling up behind your eyes as Jaehyun’s gaze fell upon you. You had only wanted Taeyong to give you a ride, because he and Jaehyun were supposed to go to the sports court to play basketball this evening, and you wanted to take this chance to be close to his friend for a short while.

In a magazine from a classmate, you had read that women usually prettied themselves up before they met with a man they liked, and since your big brother’s best friend was the person you liked, you thought this also applied to you.

In the magazine, you had seen them not only wearing high heels, but also designer dresses and other pretty clothes. Their make up had made them look even more beautiful, and their hair was flowing in long locks over their shoulders.

You thought, for your age and skills, you didn’t look that bad. But in the eyes of 19-year-old boys, you apparently did look like a clown.

Without another word, you turned around and ran up the stairs. Your ankles hurt from all the twisting while walking, but you rather wanted to feel this physical pain instead of the emotional one Taeyong’s further words would make you experience.

You kicked the heels away in front of your bedroom and then disappeared to the inside, throwing yourself onto the bed with your clown face buried into the pillow. Rather than crying, you wanted to scream in anger. Only moments later, sadness kicked in.

You were only a child in these boys’ eyes, so your older brother was probably right. What did you even know? You most likely truly did look like a clown, having made a fool of yourself right in front of Jaehyun’s eyes.

Now, he would never look at you like a woman.

“Go away!” you then shouted as you heard it knock on your door. “I don’t want to talk to you!”

“It’s me.” Pause. “Jaehyun.”

Within a second, you were sitting straight on your bed, your expression lightening up until you realized that he was still your brother’s best friend and probably led a similar way of thinking.

“You don’t have to scold me as well. I know my lesson.”

“I didn’t come to scold you.”

You remained silent for a moment, but then consented, “Come in.”

Thick strands of your hair fell into your face, but you didn’t swipe them away to not have Jaehyun face your panda mien directly. You heard him closing the door behind him, then walking over to your bed.

“You know,” he started as he crouched down in front of you, “there was one thing I never quite understood. And that was how beautiful girls didn’t think they were already beautiful enough.”

You kneaded your fingers in nervousness, his voice clear enough for you to hear, but they didn’t seem to get through your head right away.

“I’ve known you since you were little, y/n. I know how you look when you’ve just woken up, I know how you look when you’re tired, I know how you look when you’re soaked with water… I know all of your faces. And if you don’t want to believe your family, then believe me that you don’t need any makeup to look pretty.”

Your heart jumped a little with each compliment he directed at you. It was the first time that a boy had told you that he found you pretty. And even though you knew Jaehyun only said it to you to appease and simultaneously encourage you, it was enough to force your sadness into a corner.

“But those idols and models in magazines, they also wear makeup and these clothes. Why shouldn’t I also be allowed to feel prettier?” You now had enough courage to look up at him, still reluctant to smile.

“Because…” Jaehyun touched your cheek in a reassuring manner, growing a smile. “You’re still too young to think that you can only go outside when you’re wearing makeup.”

“I won’t think that!”

“Really?” He raised a brow. “Once you start, you will get used to that new face of yours and won’t feel pretty or confident enough naturally. Of course, every woman can wear as much makeup as they want. But I don’t want a young girl like you to think she has to alternate the way she looks already. It feels so wrong.”

From your nightstand, he pulled out tissues from the box and then wiped over your mouth. His gentle gesture was a great contrast to the lightning zapping through your body whenever his fingers closed to your lips, even with the fabric in between.

You stared at him, frozen on the spot, and Jaehyun continued smiling. “If you cannot embrace yourself right now, how will it be later on?”

Letting his words sink in, you had to acknowledge their accuracy. “When can I try then? When I’m older?”

“Well...” He withdrew his hand, the tissue smeared with red color. “When you realize that you don’t need any of it. At all times.”

Not the answer you expected, but you were still content. You helped him wipe over your eyes, turning you into a human again instead of a panda.

“And Taeyong holds the same opinion, trust me,” Jaehyun added when he threw the tissues into the trash can. “He was only shocked to see his little sister so dressed up, like an adult. He just didn’t voice it very well. It’s like that when you have overprotective, big brothers, hm?”

When you followed Jaehyun downstairs, dressed in your usual clothes with no trace of makeup left anymore, Taeyong was already waiting by the stairs, his expression turning from an anxious to a relieved one when he saw you.

“‘’scuse me,” he murmured.

“Me too,” you murmured back to him.

And just like that, like it always was among siblings, the fight was never addressed again.

You rode with Taeyong and Jaehyun to your friend Seulgi, and the smile Jaehyun threw at you when you turned back and waved at them made up for everything that had happened in the past hour.

It was nearly bedtime for you later that night when you sat on the couch in the living room as Taeyong and Jaehyun walked through the entrance door together.

In your pink pajamas, with your hair sticking out to all sides, you probably wouldn’t make it into a fashion magazine. But after Jaehyun’s reassuring words, you weren’t worried about these things anymore as you met his approving gaze when the both of them flopped down to the left and right of yours.

“How was your match?” you asked them.

“I totally destroyed Jaehyun!” Taeyong called him out loudly. “Right?”

“Only by one point,” Jaehyun grumbled.

“In all games!”

You laughed along with them when you heard your mother call you from upstairs to go to bed. You then jumped off from the couch and ran to the stairs.

“Goodnight!”

“G’night.”

“Sleep well, princess.”

You were thirteen and Jaehyun the only boy you had eyes for.

____

When You Were 16

“Where are you going?” Taeyong asked you from the couch, shifting away from the TV and around to you.

You had entered the living room in search of your other high heel, but still didn’t succeed in finding it, and you were already running late. You had dressed yourself in a nice outfit that the shoes would only complete, because tonight was a special occasion.

“On a date,” you deadpanned at your brother, your eyes scanning your left and right.

“Who is it? The guy who’s two years your senior again?”

“Yeah. Can you pick me up from the cinema later?”

He nodded. “Sure. I’ll be there at 11. If you’re not there by then, he’s dead meat.”

You rolled your eyes, but still couldn’t bite down a grin. “Shouldn’t you be studying for your university exams? Isn’t that why you’re spending the time at home? Instead, you’re worried about some high school boy.”

“Trust me, I know how high school boys are, sis, I was one myself,” Taeyong spoke with a serious tone. “Especially the ones in their last year are the worst.”

“Ugh, please, spare me from these stories!” You had seen girls entering and exiting your house more often than you wanted to remember when you had only been eleven. “Just pick me up at 11, okay?”

Taeyong laughed. “Alright, I’ll be there.”

Three hours later, you stood in front of the cinema, waiting for your brother with a sulky expression on your face, the rain mercilessly pouring down at you.

Only minutes later, a black car pulled up on the street in front of you, and you crossed the pavement from the cinema to the vehicle with your hands shielding your face from the rain as you opened the door and hopped inside.

“Thank for coming so qui-”

“Hey.”

The one sitting in the driver’s seat was not your brother though.

“Jaehyun?!”

“Surprise.”

You didn’t see him as often anymore after he had moved to Daejeon to study. Every now and then, he came to visit his grandfather or Taeyong though, and when they were in the mood, they stepped by at your house, but not as often as before and surely for not as long. You wished it would be different though.

Of course, you got it. They were university students now, not school boys anymore with other obligations and commitments in life while you were fully enjoying your teenage years. Jaehyun’s mind would be occupied with other things than visiting his best friend’s little sister.

Throughout the time, Jaehyun had only stayed that for you: a simple crush from your childhood that you admired from afar. And that hadn’t stopped you from meeting other people.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him, perplexed.

“My grandfather has been feeling unwell lately, so I’m staying with him for the week.”

That must have been a spontaneous decision due to an emergency you assumed, because the last time you had asked about Jaehyun, Taeyong hadn’t mentioned anything about it. Or he had simply forgotten due to the stress from university.

“I’m sorry about your grandfather,” you said. “I’m glad I got to see you at least, though.”

Throughout the veil of dripping leftover rain, a smile was visible on your face and Jaehyun audibly let out a rush of air as he started the car. “Taeyong sent me to pick you up as he quickly had to drop by his dorm and grab some books.”

“Ah okay, so he actually did start studying in the end.” You chuckled.

“I came back from the States only yesterday, so he and I haven’t been able to have a good chat yet. We’ll still be catching up though.”

“Have you visited your parents?” you asked him out of curiosity. “Is their company still doing well?”

“Yeah, kind of visiting and kind of learning from their success. I haven’t seen them for very long periods since studying at KAIST, so I took the opportunity to fly over there. And I have to get back when my grandfather is feeling better, ready to return to university for the final exams.”

“Sounds kind of exhausting, jetting between two countries and attending to your family’s duties. Are you alright?”

His eyes widened for a short moment, and you wondered whether you were the first person to ever ask this genuinely.

“I’m okay.” But feeling uncomfortable with the attention, Jaehyun then shifted it back to you. “What about you? How was your date?”

You replied to him, “One word: awful. I don’t think we’re going to continue dating.”

He furrowed. “But why?”

You were pondering whether you wanted to tell him or not as you were still reluctant to spill the entire story. But you knew how nagging Jaehyun could be, so you spared him the details and mainly delivered the necessary parts of the story which consisted of only,

“He can’t kiss, okay? At least I don’t think that’s how kissing is supposed to feel. And I don’t know whether it’s on me or him, but…” you breathed in deeply. “It’s just not working out. He’s the only boy I’ve ever kissed, so I don’t have a comparison, but whenever I think about kissing him, I just want to run away, because it feels so gross and wrong.”

You closed your eyes shut, not wanting to see his expression, but instead, you heard a very loud laughter.

“So funny, huh,” you asked ironically as you opened your eyes again.

“Oh to be a teenager again,” Jaehyun continued laughing.

You got very worked up over that topic. “What if that’s what kissing is like and I just don’t like it? Or what if I just… can’t kiss?”

The words were falling from your lips like an endless stream, and you only realized now that it was Jaehyun you were directing them at. You got so flustered, you wanted to jump out of the car right there and then.

“Well, y/n,” Jaehyun then began as you sank further into your seat as though it would suck you into a deep, black hole. Thank god you would be home in a few minutes. “I can assure you, kissing is indeed a blissful act, nothing that should gross you out or even feel wrong. And if it doesn’t work quite the way you want the first time around, you can only practice. But trust me, it’s an awesome way to express your feelings.”

“I wouldn’t know,” you conceded.

“Yet,” Jaehyun added. “Sometimes, two people just don’t match. That can happen, but don’t let this experience discourage you. One day, you’ll meet a guy, and everything will fall into place. Then, it will feel right. Then, you will think back about your date just now and laugh.”

“So… it’s okay if I tell him that we don’t make a good couple and end it? Over this topic only?”

“Of course. You definitely should if you feel this way. You don’t want to lead him on, right?”

“No, for sure not.”

As always, Jaehyun managed to encourage and cheer on you. It was just such a shame that he wasn’t around as often anymore.

“Hey Jaehyun…” He pulled up in front of your house. “I still have the crown that you gave me.”

Even in the semi-darkness of the car’s insides, you saw how his face brightened up. “Really? That plastic thing?”

“Exactly that.” As he brought his car to a stop, you unbuckled your seatbelt. “By the way… it’s sad that you’re not around as often anymore.”

“Yeah, I think so too. But I just have-”

“-so much to do,” you ended his sentence, the corner of your lips tilting down. “I know. Taeyong always says that as well when I ask about you.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened. “You do?”

You chuckled and turned to the door, aiming for the handle. “Almost every time when he comes home for the weekend. I think he gets sick and tired of my questions already, but I can’t help myself. When you have free time next summer, let’s go to the seaside again, okay? Good night then, Jaehyun.”

You waited for him to say his usual goodbye line, but as it didn’t come, you wanted to turn around and check on him. Before you could do so though, he had already wrapped his fingers around your wrist and pulled you back into your seat.

Rendered silent, you didn’t know what was happening around you as Jaehyun’s face suddenly hovered over yours, his gaze casting a spell over you, and you couldn’t look away anymore. Your heart was jumping irregularly against your chest, and you feared that he might hear how loud it was as blood rushed to your ears at the same time.

One of his hands found its way onto your cheek and rested there for a moment, letting you relish the warmth as his face drew closer to yours. You had kissed someone only an hour prior, yet you didn’t feel any pang of conscience as you became aware of what this situation implied if you continued.

But you didn’t stop and closed your eyes instead.

For all the time that Jaehyun was gone, you had thought your feelings constantly vanished little by little until they had entirely vanished, brushing them off as a light crush. But the truth was that they had been kept in control on a lukewarm blaze only, ready to inflame again when you were conscious enough to accept their meaning.

And your feelings were very much set aflame when his lips brushed over yours before he leaned in further and captured them fully, deepening the kiss. Parting your mouth in a gentle manner, you let him pass through with his tongue, your fingers searching for support by gripping onto his shirt.

This wasn’t like kissing the guy from before. This felt sweet, endearing and simply… right.

Jaehyun had told you the truth about kissing. It was a heartfelt act that made it possible to convey feelings that couldn’t or didn’t want to be expressed in another way.

The kiss slowed down only after minutes when you were sure that you would run out of breath soon as you still didn’t know how to align your breathing rhythm with the motions. You hoped he hadn’t minded.

“Sleep well, princess,” was what Jaehyun then said after he had pulled away.

You then stood there, in front of your house, totally flabbergasted, the warmth of his lips against yours still present as you touched that exact spot, realizing something very important in your life now. With idle steps, you made your way into the house, trying to sort out your thoughts.

You didn’t want that senior from school. Or another guy. And the reason it hadn’t worked out with him or wouldn’t with anyone else was because your heart would never fully be with them.

It had always only been with Jaehyun.

When Taeyong entered the house an hour later, you hadn’t moved from your spot at the kitchen table where you had taken a seat, staring into space. Your brother was only a shadow in the background you barely perceived as you had a hard time coming to a conclusion with your thoughts.

“How was it, sis? Do I have to beat that guy up?” he asked you.

“No,” you answered absent-mindedly. “It was nice, but I’m still going to stop seeing him, though.”

“Well, okay. Sucks for him, I guess.” Taeyong shrugged. “Whatever makes you happy makes me happy as well. You’ll eventually find the right one, I’m sure about that. You’re still so young.”

With these words, he pulled you out of your thoughts, and you wanted to know further, “Do you mean it, Yongie? From sibling to sibling?”

“That you’ll eventually find the right one?”

“Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, I mean.”

“Of course.” He nodded at you encouragingly.

If this was the case, then he wouldn’t mind your feelings for Jaehyun. Why should he even? Jaehyun was his best friend. If there was someone he would surely approve of, then it would be Jaehyun, out of all people.

This. This was it.

You wanted to wait then.

For you to grow more mature and attain your majority. When you were ready, you wanted to pursue a relationship with him. You were just afraid that Jaehyun couldn’t wait for just as long. But you wanted to give it your best.

Your light crush on your brother’s best friend was long gone.

You were head over heels in love with him now.

____

When You Were 19

“Now, a picture with your brother!”

You got closer to Taeyong who then put an arm on your waist, holding one of your flower bouquets while you were being kept occupied with the other ones. Yet, you were still smiling and holding up a peace-sign into your parents’ camera.

“I’m so proud of you, sis!” He hugged you for the nth time that morning.

“Ah, come on, Yongie! You just had your graduation ceremony as well, don’t discredit your own success!”

“Only because I enlisted in the meantime, so it’s nothing special in comparison to you graduating from high school. And then, you’re going to study at Ewha!”

Ewha Womans University. You had been dreaming of getting in ever since you were very young, having worked hard throughout the past years to pass the entrance exams. At last, academically, everything had worked out for you.

“Congratulations from me as well.”

That voice… You turned around just to meet a face you hadn’t seen in more than two years.

“Jaehyun…”

The moment you spotted him, your heart started to pound faster and hotness shot into your cheeks.

“I invited him, sis!” your brother clarified. “He was in town and couldn’t miss your graduation, right?”

Jaehyun’s grandfather had died before he decided to enlist right after graduating from university. You hadn’t known that he was back in town, but now he stood here in front of you again, having changed so much and not at all at the same time.

He had matured outwardly in the years you hadn’t seen each other.

When people grew up side by side, such a process naturally passed by them, but since you had been apart with no contact, he seemed like an entirely new person to you now, not the boy in his early twenties you had last seen.

He was a 25-year-old young man now, but still the very same person you were in love with.

As for you, you had grown up as well. You had not only mastered the art of makeup, but gotten your driver’s license and would soon move out to start living in a dorm when university started. Yes, you had also dated in the meantime, but none of the guys came close to the one you had been waiting for.

Jaehyun hugged you tightly, and you were sure that he must have felt your heavy heartbeat against his chest when he pressed you close to his firm physique.

“Ah, give me the flowers,” Taeyong then offered to you. “She can’t carry more. Here, hold Jaehyun’s instead. Wait here, I’ll bring them to the car. Where are our parents again? Man…”

Your brother disappeared the next moment, leaving you two all by yourself. The surroundings radiated a hectic atmosphere with all the students and family members running up and down, taking photos and talking, yet to you, it felt like you and Jaehyun were in your own world.

“What brings you to Seoul?” you asked him with a smile. “Not my graduation only, I assume.”

“That too, though.”

You raised a brow. “What else?”

Jaehyun’s parents were running a successful company in the States, but Jaehyun himself had never really been involved in it. They had rarely come to visit here, he had only stayed with his grandfather in Korea.

“A goodbye.”

He had only stayed in Korea for his grandfather…

“A… goodbye?”

But his grandfather was now dead.

“I’ve graduated from a prestigious university, my enlistment period is over, I have no one to take care of here anymore… it’s time for me to move on and follow in my parents’ footsteps like they wanted. My time in Korea is up now.”

You bit into your bottom lip, shaking your head, still desillusional to the truth. “But this is Korea, Jaehyun. You have always been here. Why would you go to the States?”

“Because this is why I’ve come here in the first place. First, my grandfather had to take care of me when I was only a child so that I could graduate from school. Then, I had to take care of him while working towards my graduation from a university. Now that I’ve achieved everything my parents had wanted me to, I can follow them to the States.”

“But… that doesn’t make any sense. You belong here, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun was struggling with non-emotional explanations too, you saw it. “I feel so too. I haven’t felt so at home at any other place. Only at your house. You were my family when I had barely one.”

“Then why do you go away? Stay here, simple as that.” You just couldn’t wrap your head around it.

“Sometimes, it’s not that simple.” He tilted his head as though he was pondering whether to say something he was still holding back or not. “Actually, I was supposed to leave after high school to study in the States already. But since I’ve gotten into KAIST, they let me stay. You know why I desperately wanted to stay here and applied to that university?”

You shook your head.

“Because I didn’t want to leave you behind.”

With your mouth agape, you didn’t know what to respond to him as simultaneously, you felt your heart sink. There was nothing to be happy about, so you calmed down your excitement over his confession. This scene wouldn’t close with a happy end.

“You were only six when we got introduced to each other. I’ve seen you grow throughout the years, yet for me, you’ve always stayed that six year old girl who came running towards her older brother and stopped in her tracks, because she spotted an unfamiliar person. I wanted to protect that little girl forever.”

His flower bouquet was rustling in your hands. That sound seemed very near, but Jaehyun’s voice was miles away. Was it because you didn’t want to listen to his continuing words?

“You’re scared of the dark, you stumble very often, you nearly cry when you get startled, you can’t watch horror movies and you still eat watermelon like a little child. How could I leave this innocent, precious girl behind?”

“Is this how you see me?” you asked through pressed lips. “As a little girl? Because I’m not one anymore.”

“Of course you’re not a little girl anymore. But you’ll always stay your brother’s little sister for me.”

Jaehyun disappeared behind strands of your hair that the breeze had gotten loose from your bun, and your gaze now dropped to the flowers in your hands.

Of course. In your high school uniform, you couldn’t possibly be the right match for someone who had already graduated from university and would now move to the other side of the world to co-lead a company.

Years of waiting went down the drain just like that.

“Back then… have I also only been Taeyong's little sister to you?”

You didn’t even need to give further hints. He knew exactly what you meant. In his eyes, you saw how much he struggled with himself right now. No, you weren’t wrong. Back then, he had expressed his feelings for you as well. You hadn’t been the only one.

You weren’t just his best friend’s little sister.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into my mind back then,” Jaehyun tried to backpedal. “I shouldn’t have done that. I mean… A sixteen year old girl?”

“What about it?” you pressed the topic. “It would have been controversial when I was thirteen and you were nineteen. It would have been controversial when I was fifteen and you were twenty-one. But now? Nobody cares whether it’s nineteen and twenty-five or twenty-two and twenty-eight. Thirty and thirty-six? Nobody cares two hoots about it! I’m a grown up, young woman now. Please view me as one as well!”

As he didn’t answer, you felt tears burning around the rims of your eyes. Jaehyun lifted his hand to comfort you, but retracted it at the last moment.

“You can’t, right?” was your conclusion. “Even if you wanted to, you can’t. I will always be your best friend’s little sister in your eyes, right? The one who came running at you in her princess gown which you completed with a plastic crown, who fell down the stairs and had to be accompanied by you back to her room. The little girl who sulked at the beach and only got happier when you gifted her a popsicle, who you helped clean off her first makeup attempt. Who you… made so happy, showing what it was like to be kissed in a heartfelt way.”

“Y/n, I…”

“I get it, Jaehyun. You don’t have to vindicate yourself.” Your lips formed a thin line, almost hurting, and you tried to stay strong, swallowing down all the tears. “For me, you’re my big brother’s best friend who I had a crush on when I was only a little child. But you are also the person I fell in love with when I was a teenager and who I want to be with now that I’m all grown up. But you cannot seem to move on from the stigma I have in your eyes. And as long as you cannot do this, I’ll always stay your best friend’s little sister.”

The day you graduated from high school was also the day you got your heart broken.

“I wish you all the best for your new life in the States.”

Yet, as you walked away from Jaehyun, you held your head up high, proudly crossing the schoolyard, greeting and bidding farewell to everyone who addressed you. You couldn’t even remember their faces anymore as only one was on your mind.

Taeyong and your parents were waiting by the car when you arrived, and you pretended that everything was fine when they asked where Jaehyun was.

“He didn’t want to come with us,” you lied.

You had asked him to stay away, and he obeyed.

Taeyong’s gaze rested on you the entire way home while yours was absent-mindedly directed at the side window. Your heart was bleeding, but you kept it together from the outside.

But a sibling’s eyes were able to see more than others’ eyes.

“Sis,” your brother then began, “there is something I need to tell you.”

____

When You Were 21

You watched your sister-in-law in her white gown where she was sitting at the table, beaming at your older brother. The DJ was playing a romantic and well-known song in the background while the MC aimed for the center of the improvised dance floor to incite the guests to dance.

A mild, salty breeze was blowing through the festive tent under which you were sitting, your bare feet buried in the sand under your table. Your fingers closed around the champagne glass in front of you, and you led it to your mouth, downing it all at once.

“Enjoying the reception?” Taeyong was by your side the next moment, taking the seat next to you.

“Yeah, absolutely,” you assured him honestly.

You hadn’t been to your grandparents’ house these past years, but now, you had all gathered here in this small town again to celebrate your big brother’s wedding. Your entire family from all across the country had arrived along with Taeyong’s friends from all the different phases in his life so far.

“Even though Jaehyun is here?”

You cringed at his words, your eyes, that had tried to avoid that specific direction, rolling to the exact person that had just been mentioned. He was sitting at the table across the hall from you, chatting with his friends from school. Then, your eyes returned to your brother’s now wife.

“If she hurts you, I’m going to hurt her as well.”

“Sis…”

“I can understand now even better why you didn’t want him to hurt me, Yongie.” You tilted your head to the side, smiling at Taeyong from that angle. “He had to leave sooner or later to go live somewhere else and thus breaking my heart.”

“He didn’t want to date anyone while he was here, and trust me, almost every girl at our school tried to shoot her shot.”

You snickered. “I know.”

“When I told him that he would never be allowed to hurt my sister, he took it very seriously. I’m sorry that I haven’t seen it coming that he hurt you by doing exactly that.”

“Yongie.” You paused. “We’ve talked about that topic so many times already. And I can tell again: stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. You didn’t tell him to raise my hopes up and then dump me. You only told him to spare me from any kind of pain. That he hurt me eventually is only his fault.”

“I wish that I would have been able to spare you from this pain as well as your older sibling.”

You shrugged. “That’s part of growing up, huh? Even you can’t spare me from falling in love with someone and experiencing heartbreak. The heartbreaks after that weren’t that severe.”

“So it’s truly over between you and that guy?” your brother asked. “Is that why you’ve come without a plus one?”

“Yeah. When he scheduled a viewing with the realtor for us to move in together next year, I figured that wasn’t what I wanted.”

“What is it that you want then, sis?”

Your eyes looked over to Taeyong’s bride, then shifted back to him. “Exactly what you have.”

You halted the conversation and sat by side in silence for a while, watching the MC and other guests playing games.

“Jaehyun is staying in Korea now,” Taeyong pulled you out of your thoughts again. “His parents will open a branch here and he’s going to lead it.”

You didn’t know what to say. At first, you didn’t feel anything. Then, you felt everything at once. Anger, sadness, despair, but also happiness and excitement. You were in such an intense emotional turmoil, your brother’s statement having suddenly shaken your entire world in which you had settled with the thought of not having Jaehyun even on the same continent as you.

“Excuse me, Yongie.” You arose from your seat, suddenly getting suffocated by the heavy atmosphere, even though you were partially outside at a beach. “I need some fresh air.”

And you straight up walked out of the tent.

Five minutes later, you were standing by the shore, having your eyes closed and listening to the background noise of the reception that took place behind you. The water touched your toes with every next wave, forming a great contrast to that stifling feeling from earlier. The sound of music and faded conversations that came from the location behind you blended in well with the sound of the ocean by night with no one around but you.

Your ears then eavesdropped footsteps approaching in your direction though, disrupting the peaceful quietness, but you didn’t turn around to make out the person. You already knew who it was. And this time, you were ready to breathe again.

“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” you asked Jaehyun, opening your eyes. “Three years ago, when we last saw each other… why didn’t you tell me that you’ve promised my brother to never hurt me and thus rejected me?”

“Because, at that point, I already did,” he responded to you, the sand giving in under his bare feet. “I saw in your eyes how much pain I made you feel after getting your hopes up with that kiss and then not being able to act on my true feelings because of my obligations. I have only promised him one thing. And even that, I haven’t been able to keep. The person he trusted the most eventually hurt the person he loved the most. It’s been haunting me ever since, because if I hadn’t kissed you, things might have played out differently.”

“I would have understood,” you asserted as he suddenly stood next to you, facing the ocean as well. “That your stay in this country was only temporary, and that Taeyong only didn’t want you to develop feelings and act on them, because you’d eventually have to leave.”

“Even if, would that have stopped you from developing feelings for me after what happened between us? I was supposed to be the mature one. Yet, in the end, it was me acting like a child, led by feelings.”

You tilted your head to the side. “In the end, it was never about me being your best friend’s little sister, but sparing me from a heartache, am I right?”

“Your brother said that no one should ever hurt you. Not even me.”

You stretched yourself, raising your arms in the air. “We would have made it work somehow.”

“I know how much you love your family and this country. Ever since you were a little child, you never wanted to go anywhere else. I couldn’t be the one partially forcing you to live in another country.”

“And now?” you asked, inhaling deeply.

“I’m back now. And I’m going to stay as my parents opened their asian branch here and want me to lead it.”

You ignored your faster heart rate. “I’m another person now, Jaehyun.”

“I’ve embraced every person you have evolved yourself into ever since we’ve known each other. And I gradually fell in love with every single one of them. When you were a child, I wanted to protect you from everything evil. When you turned into a teenager, I suppressed every slight urge to kiss you on the spot. When you have become that beautiful young woman, I had to withhold myself to confess my undying love for you. I switched from wanting to be your protector to wanting to be your lover as well.”

You blinked away your tears. “For… so long already?” you whispered. “You’ve been having feelings for me for so long?”

“I haven’t seen you as my best friend’s little sister for many years already.” His voice was soft, tempting.

You swallowed, hard. “I didn’t sit around, waiting for you, Jaehyun. I’ve built my own life, I’m independent now.”

“Of course,” he agreed, seemingly more to himself. “I wasn’t expecting that. I just thought that… you might still be interested in pursuing a relationship with me on the off chance. But if you don’t feel this way anymore, then I can understand.”

Jaehyun waited around for a few more moments, but without hearing you utter another word, he assumed the answer was clear, so he intended to head back. With the sand scrunching under his feet, he slowly walked away from you.

It didn’t take you much longer to turn around to him and reveal, “I was supposed to move in with my boyfriend next year after university.” He didn’t stop distancing himself from you yet though. “But I broke up with him right before I got here.”

Then, Jaehyun finally came to a halt, and you approached him slowly from behind. “You did?”

“But not because of you, Jaehyun,” you made clear to him. “I deeply loved him, I truly did. And I was only able to come that far, because I’ve gotten over you. I’ve moved on from you. But in the end, he wasn’t what I exactly wanted.”

“And what is it that you now want?”

Still facing his back, you answered confidently, “A life independent from someone else. Even from my brother. I’ve grown up with you both constantly by my side. Only throughout the past years, I’m slowly learning who I truly am, and I’m still in the process of doing so. My life’s been great, and I would love to continue living like this.”

You saw him bobbing his head. “I understand.”

“...with you by my side.”

Jaehyun faltered. “W… what?”

“If we had gotten together back then, I would have spent my youth shaping my future around you. But like this, I was able to live the life I really wanted to find out who I am and what I wanted. And even though I truly wanted to be with someone else… I know that a little six-year-old girl would be hella at me if I don’t pursue what she had always wanted. Because the truth is, Jaehyun, in every childhood, there’s someone we can’t forget. I always told myself to never wait around that long though.” You wiped away a tear from your cheek. “But you came back.”

“But I came back,” he repeated and slowly turned around to you. “And this time, I intend to stay.”

“For how long?” you asked, drying your cheeks with the back of your hands.

“I hope…” He paused, enclosing your face with his warm palms, “This time, I can stay forever.”

____

You overlooked the scenery that unfolded in front of your sight. From the tent at the beach, you still heard faint voices and music playing, yet you had decided to return to your grandparents’ house already after having talked to Jaehyun, now having gotten up in the middle of the night to still enjoy the silence of the sea before the whole world would wake up.

Not too long anymore, and the sun would start rising. You tied the blanket tighter around your naked body, your shoulders still exposed to the breeze that grazed along your skin, causing you goosebumps. Leaning over the balustrade, you closed your eyes and inhaled the salty air, a peaceful smile on your lips.

You shuddered when you suddenly felt a warm touch on that spot of your skin that seemed cold to you. A very welcoming contrast.

“Cannot sleep?” Jaehyun asked you as he pressed himself against you from behind, taking you in his arms and sharing his warmth.

You shook your head. “I’m still… so excited. Happy. How are you supposed to find sleep when there is just so much going on inside you?”

He rested his chin on your shoulder, tickling you. “I feel the same.”

“I remember… when I was ten, we spent a summer here together. And I found you with other girls while searching for you. That was when I first experienced jealousy. But then, you came back with a popsicle only for me.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Unknowingly, you were the only girl in my life for a very long time. When it first crossed my mind that my feelings may exceed those of brotherly love, I found you standing in the rain after a failed date.”

“I was sixteen at that time, and after our first kiss, there hadn’t been anyone else except for you. I wanted to wait until I was ready for you.”

“I’m sorry that I have made you wait for so long.” He truly sounded regretful, but you knew already as you had spent the majority of the night talking about the past among… finally taking your relationship to another, physical level. “I must confess something though,” Jaehyun then broke it down to you. “When I was in the US, I was engaged.”

“Oh.” Your whole body froze up, but you weren’t surprised at all. He was attractive, intelligent and successful. Every woman would want someone like Jaehyun. “Why did you break it off?”

“Because... “ He placed another kiss on your naked body, this time on the side of your neck. “There was only one little girl I promised to marry. And she was living on the other side of the world.”

“Me?” you asked, confused. “You promised to marry me?”

“Silly. You totally forgot, hm? You were six and I was twelve when you asked for my hand in marriage. I was so shocked, I didn’t quite know what to respond! But from that moment on, I promised to you and myself that I would protect you forever.”

You counted yourself lucky for the fact that the night sky concealed the embarrassment showing on your cheeks. There were many fond memories you had been holding of Jaehyun, but you were also aware that many other ones were missing. For example your proposal.

“Look who’s getting all shy!”

“I was six, I probably didn’t know what that meant!”

“You knew very well.” Jaehyun grabbed you by your upper arms and moved you around to face him. Even now, under the dim moonlight, you still couldn’t believe that he was finally here. And yours. “The question is, y/n, whether you’re aware that you cannot take a proposal back.”

“Well…” You gulped before taking that step. “Are you aware that you cannot take your answer back as well?”

“Very well,” he agreed.

Bending down, Jaehyun placed his lips on yours for the nth time that night, and as your kiss deepened and his arms wrapped around your still covered waist, you knew that you probably wouldn’t get too much sleep anymore until it was time for the family brunch the next morning.

You felt his fingers crawling up between your thighs, parting the thin blanket around your legs. The cool breeze swirled strands of your hair up into the air as you rested your forehead on Jaehyun’s shoulder, his fingers working upwards until he reached your core that then started to throb against his palm.

“H...here?” you asked him between breaths and spread yourself further for him.

“Mhmm,” Jaehyun hummed, his hot breath hitting your earlobe as he turned his head to you. “No one can see us and the view is splendid.”

“So you’re that kind of a guy, hm?”

Having slept with Jaehyun for the first time earlier that night was kind of… awkward for not only you, but him as well. You had been friends for the majority of your childhood, so shaking off the sisterly admiration as well as crossing the inhibition level had turned out to be a big step to take that you both had underestimated.

There had been a lot of “uhm”s and “eeeh”s, a lot of surreptitious glances, and a lot of sexual advances that had failed and needed to be repeated, but also a lot of loving words to overcome these inhibitions and just let go. You weren’t a virgin anymore and he wasn't either, it was all just in your head.

The Jaehyun that still lived in your memories was the Jaehyun from your childhood and teenage years. The Jaehyun here with you now was the one you hadn’t seen nor interacted with for years, a grown up man who offered himself to be your romantic partner in life, not a sibling-like acquaintance anymore.

And once your mind had realized that as well, you found yourself under him, enjoying his stroking game that was just top notch.

You mewled quietly when he slowly but deliberately pushed two fingers into you, and your hands reached for the balustrade behind you for support. No, he definitely wasn’t someone you looked at like a sibling anymore. He had been able to prove to you that he was way more than that within the past hours only.

Your breaths came in hitches as Jaehyun worked with his fingers inside of you, pumping in and out at a rhythmic pace. With your legs shaking, you had a hard time continuing standing steadily, afraid your knees would give in at any moment.

The blanket that had kept your bare body hidden from the moonlight and warm from the cool sea breeze then slipped over your arms, passed by your waist, and finally dropped to your feet. Jaehyun himself was still only in his boxers, so it was an easy job for you to hook your fingers into the waistband and pull the underwear down so that he was exposed in front of you as well.

Supporting your elbows on the parapet, you arched your spine and threw your head back as Jaehyun started to rub his full palm over your folds, giving your clit just the right amount of friction with each stroke to swell against his hand.

He brushed with his lips over the side of your neck until he found the right spot and started to nibble on it. You moaned quietly as he stimulated you in two places simultaneously, and for the break of a second, as you suddenly realized that you were here on the balcony, exposed to the very wide world, you froze up. But then again, as his teeth buried themselves into your side, you forgot all of your worries and relished the act.

You bucked your hips against Jaehyun’s flat hand, close to your release already, when he let go of you and made you turn around to face him with your back. The untouched steel from the balustrade felt cold against your ribs as you let out a gasp after having Jaehyun smack your bum, the sound echoing throughout the calm night.

Your fingers wrapped tightly round the metal as you bent over backwards and had him spread your cheeks. With knuckles turning white and front teeth sinking into your bottom lip, you let him enter from behind with no problems as you were already so wet.

Jaehyun was pressed hard against your back as you shuffled to find the right posture for him. Shortly later, you had your arms finding support in a crossing position on the railing with your chin resting on them, your back forming a nearly straight line where it ended with your bum getting connected to Jaehyun.

His fingers submerged into the flesh around your thighs, and you had to bite down a scream when he plunged deep into you for the first time. Where your sight was directed at the nighttime scenery in front of you, you had it now dropped as you took every stroke of him with delight, protruding your bottom even higher as it felt more intense to you this way.

Slapping sounds mixed with your moans chimed throughout the night, possibly loud enough for your neighbors to not miss what was exactly going on on your balcony. You rigidly held your body against his, giving in with every slam that came down, but also bouncing back to position whenever he withdrew.

Only Jaehyun changed your position when he brought your bodies together to a more intimate standing position and held you against the balustrade, one of his hands rubbing against your clit, the other massaging your breasts while he was sucking on your neck at the same time all while still moving inside of you.

You had no idea how he was doing that, but thinking back, Jaehyun had always been good at multitasking, you remembered. And as you were standing there on the balcony, getting penetrated and stimulated on so many levels, emotionally and physically, you were sure you could faint right there on the spot.

But instead, you came all over him, inside and outside, silently and vocally. Your hand grabbed the back of his head, the other searching for the rail to have something that supported you in case you’d truly faint.

Jaehyun was holding you throughout all your small and big waves of highs, holding you closely when you shuddered and mewled in his arms, almost forgetting to enjoy his own release that followed right after yours, and you supported him just as much as he had supported you.

Shortly later, when you were all cleaned and cuddled up in the bed again, you confessed something to him.

“Actually,” you started, lying on your side and facing Jaehyun. “I still have the crown that you gave me.”

“No way!” he exclaimed and pulled the blanket over the both of you. “That old plastic thing?”

“As I said,” you continued, right before well earned sleep finally got the better of you, “it’s my biggest treasure.”

You still felt the softness of his lips on your forehead before passing out.

“Sleep well, princess.”

____

When You Were 6

“And then, he just called me ‘granny’! Only because of the bun my mom made me this morning!” you sobbed into your hands, sitting on the terrace. “Now, all the boys in my class call me like this and they won’t stop! I will never wear a bun to preschool again!”

You reached with one hand into your hair, fiddling with the elastic that held your strands together on the very top of your head. You had wanted to complain to your older brother, but he wasn’t home yet, and instead, you had found his new friend in your garden, opening up to him now.

“Leave it!” Jaehyun told you and seated himself next to you. “I find that bun suits you. It’s cute on a little girl like you.”

Through a teary vision, you made eye contact with him. “You… think so?”

Jaehyun nodded euphorically. “Don’t listen to boys your age. They can be very silly at times.”

You looked up to him with big eyes. “Jaehyun!”

“Hm?” He smiled.

“Later on, I don’t want to marry such guys!” you blurted out clearly. “I want to marry you! Because you’re not as mean as them. You’re kind.”

With slightly opened lips, he stiffened. But not for long though. His smile broke through a second later again, his features solemn and soft.

“Look!” Jaehyun arose, took you by your hand and helped you up. “Right now, you’re still a little girl. So grow up fast, okay? Then we can marry.”

“Okay!”

You pumped your fist in the air, sealing a deal that seemed so uncoerced and comfortable to you at that moment, of which impact you weren’t fully aware of yet though, and which you would forget in a few years from now on.

But Jaehyun…

… he had always remembered.

Although at the moment of the promise, Jaehyun hadn’t taken it seriously. He had thought that you were only speaking from the top of your head, aiming for a little girl’s fantasy who grew up with an overprotective older brother. He had hoped you’d dismiss it from your mind when time flew by.

And you actually did.

Whereas Jaehyun was the one who had never been able to forget.

[nct-fic-recss]

the way life goes — four

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: na jaemin x reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you finally get jaemin to open up about his past and someone from his past ends up right in front of his doorstep 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 18.2k

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: slow burn, so much plot and too much dialogue, friends with benefits, friends to possible lovers, the majority of kpop '00 liners are in this, other nct members make appearances, crack humour throughout, a lot of sex innuendos, college!jaemin, black haired jaemin, jaemin is super mysterious and hot, this one is super ANGSTY, explicit content, swearing, BIG SMUT, unprotected sex, daddy kink, dom!jaemin, sub!reader, manhandling, spitting, hair pulling, praising, choking, creampie, reader FINALLY confronts jaemin, hard hitting emotions, reader meets eunbin, hint of... jealously?, definitely plays the heart strings ok, yangyang feels things, reader and jeno have bestie moments

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

“Thank god, I’m starving!” Donghyuck cries out in delight once you return, flinging himself off of the sofa and stumbling over his own feet as he runs towards the three of you, grabbing the takeout bags out of each of your hands and rushing back to his seat, dumping its contents all over the coffee table which Haru scowls at him for making a mess.

A tight lipped smile is sent Jaemin’s way when he meets your eyes, unable to hold his gaze for too long as an uncomfortable feeling creeps up your chest and you turn on your heel to walk into the kitchen and grab a glass of water.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when Eunbin comes back. The plane ticket shows she’s coming back here.

The picture that Mia showed you pops back into your mind, how beautiful Eunbin looks with her big round eyes and pretty smile makes your throat tighten, fearing you’re going to throw up.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when Eunbin comes back. The plane ticket shows she’s coming back here.

The ring on Jaemin’s bedside table now appears in your head. It was small, so dainty and so pretty. It was definitely too small to fit his fingers… did it belong to her? Was the ring for Eunbin? Why was it left behind? Your grip around the glass tightens. It has to be hers.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when Eunbin comes back. The plane ticket shows she’s coming back here.

“Stop it” You mutter to yourself the second you feel your eyes start to sting, internally cursing at yourself for letting your emotions get to you and you try your hardest to fight back the tears as you tilt your head back, looking up at the ceiling as you grit your teeth together, the pain of trying to hold back your tears makes you feel sick.

“Are you okay?” You swing around once you hear a voice, clearing your throat and blinking back the emotions as you see Jaemin standing in the doorway, his arms loosely crossed over his chest as he stares at you in curiosity. You don’t speak, you just nod which Jaemin seems not to be happy with as he tuts and shakes his head. “I don’t believe you… I know when something is wrong”

“I’m tired” It was sort of the truth. You are tired. “I think I’m still tired from yesterday… sleeping on the sofa didn’t really help”

“Take a nap” He tells you as he steps forward, gently caressing your hair as he looks into your tired eyes. “I’ll make sure nobody eats your food. We can watch that movie some other time too”

“Ah, shit, I completely forgot about the movie” You groan as you palm your forehead frustratingly and guilt starts to overcome you but Jaemin shakes his head, tugging at your wrist and making you look at him as he reassures that everything is fine and the movie can be watched another day. The guilt doesn’t go away and you feel it even more when Jaemin presses a chaste kiss to your forehead before letting you slip past him to leave.

You don’t spare him a glance as you walk, heading straight to your bedroom with your head hung low. You couldn’t understand why you were reacting or feeling this way. You wanted answers, an explanation to why the things that Mia said had struck a nerve.

You can’t help but think how true it might be. Jaemin will probably kick you to the curb once Eunbin comes back here, memories will resurface and the fact that they didn’t end on bad terms makes you ten times more nervous than you already are. Why are you even nervous in the first place? What do you need to be nervous about?

You drop down on your bed with a huff, stuffing your face into the pillow as you fight the urge to yell out of frustration. You bury yourself under the covers, shutting your eyes and trying your hardest to get rid of the thoughts inside your head.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when Eunbin comes back. The plane ticket shows she’s coming back here.

Fuck. You mentally curse at yourself, curling your hand into a fist and digging your nails into the palm of your hands to try and slow down your erratic heartbeat. Your body becomes tense and your chest tightens, you’re afraid you’re going to struggle to breathe.

Jaemin and Eunbin never ended on bad terms. Jaemin will throw you away when—

The voice in your head stops once you hear your bedroom door open and someone walk inside. You fake being asleep, keeping your eyes closed and you try to keep your breathing as steady as possible as you hear them walk closer and your bed dips. You wonder if this could be any one of the boys (or even Miwoo) about to play a prank and scare you but the thought goes away once you feel that person slip under the covers behind you and wrap their arm around your waist.

Jaemin’s vanilla scent fills your nose and your body instantly relaxes under his touch, your heart beats normally and the thoughts that fill your mind slowly vanish into nothing. Your head is empty. There’s nothing.

His breath hits the back of your neck as he spoons you, his hand creeping under your shirt and resting on your stomach, pulling you back closer to his chest as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“Go to sleep, Y/N” Jaemin whispers in your ear. He knows you’re awake. “I got you”

You nod your head slowly, allowing yourself to fully relax in his embrace, every single worry that fills your body has disappeared. How was that even possible?

You mutter to yourself quietly. “You got me”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

It’s been a few days since you last spoke to Jaemin. The both of you being too busy to see each other due to your piling assessments and his photography classes getting longer as his final project is supposed to be due near the end of the month. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t miss him but you figured that it was the sex you missed the most, it had to be the sex. Nothing else.

The late night phone calls helped, but it didn’t exactly give you the release you desperately needed. Still, it was nice to hear his voice… even if he was trying to help get you both off.

Haru has started to notice your sudden change in emotions since the interaction you had with Mia. You didn’t tell anyone, you wouldn’t dare to tell any of your friends, especially Miwoo and Yangyang who would definitely react with violence. Haru’s different and a part of you wanted to tell her, you wanted to hear what she had to say and give you some sort of advice but you felt… embarrassed? Scared? You weren’t too sure.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, bringing you out of your thoughts and you grab it without thinking, brows rising in surprise as you read the contact name. Jaemin. Your eyes flicker to the time. He should be in class right now. You immediately unlock your phone under the desk and open up his message, the corner of your lips twitching upwards at his text.

jaemin: can u come over after classes today jaemin: i want to see u jaemin: i need to see u

you: what about ur photography projects you: i thought u will be busy all week

jaemin: fuck that. jaemin: i just want to be busy with u

you: idk jae…

jaemin: come jaemin: now

“Phones off” Professor Moon warns from upfront, sending you a look as you meet his eyes when you rip your attention away from the screen. You give him a sheepish smile, mouthing an apology as you shove your phone into your bag, ignoring the way Miwoo and Haru shake their heads with a tut.

As Professor Moon continues discussing the upcoming assignments, you relax back into your seat, doodling in the corner of your notes, holding back a smile as Miwoo leans over to join you, making small little additions to your doodles with her bright red pen.

“What’s up with you?” Miwoo asks you during a small game of tic-tac-toe, her being in the lead with five wins while you fall behind with a shocking two points. You aren’t entirely sure how her pea sized brain is coming up with all these new techniques, but yet again Miwoo has always been the competitive one. “You’ve been weird for, like, three days”

You frown. “Weird?”

“You’re not yourself” She corrects. “I know that Haru has noticed it too but I’m the only one that has the balls to say anything about it… so what’s going on?”

“Nothing” You shake your head, feigning a smile. Were you that obvious? “Nothing’s going on…I’ve been stressed about the assignments if you really want an answer, but that’s about it”

“You’re a terrible liar” Miwoo smiles softly, her hand coming up to affectionately pat your cheek. “I’ll get the truth out of you one way or another”

“That is the truth” You push her hand away with a chuckle. It’s partially the truth. Miwoo raises her brow, clearly not believing your words. “You know that I stress every time we’re given an assignment… you stress too!!”

“Not as bad as you” Miwoo snaps back, completely believing your little lie. She crosses her arms over her chest. “I study!”

“Liar"

Miwoo gasps and aggressively points to herself. “I take notes!”

“No, you steal her notes” You point at Haru who comically raises her head from her notebook, staring at you both for a brief second before dropping her head back down, the pen that she holds in her hand gracefully writes across the paper.

“And she lets me” Miwoo grins, swivelling in her chair to face Haru and affectionately caressing her hair as she coos. “My smart baby”

Haru rolls her eyes, trying to swat Miwoo’s hands away who’s adamant on being affectionate towards her, puckering her lips as she tries to lean in to kiss Haru’s cheeks. You cover your mouth as you laugh, watching as Haru slaps her hand on Miwoo’s forehead to push her backwards.

Professor Moon captures the act when he dismisses the class for the day, shaking his head in disappointment and taking his glasses off of his face to rub his eyes, letting out a sigh at their behaviour.

“I wish to have one class where you girls sit quietly and listen” Professor Moon says as the three of you pack up your belongings, shoving them into your bags. “Just one, that’s all I ask”

“Your class would be boring without our humour, Professor Moon” Miwoo smiles cheekily and he rolls his eyes, grabbing the papers from his desk and playfully tapping the side of her head. She gasps and places her hand where he had hit. “Professor! If you want to punish me, please hit my—”

“And we’ll be leaving now” Haru interrupts, gripping Miwoo’s upper arm and hauling her out of the classroom but they both pause by the door as Professor Moon calls out your name. You turn your head to look at him as you lift your bag and pull the strap over your shoulder, raising a brow in curiosity as he takes a long time to respond, his fingers tapping against his thigh as he sits on the edge of his desk.

“Did you have any spare time to check that travelling website I told you about? Or did you give Yuta a call?” Oh shit. Your eyes dart over to Haru and Miwoo who stare between the two of you in confusion, clearly not understanding what Professor Moon is talking about as you failed to let them know. “There’s no rush. I just wanted to know if you considered it”

You gulp. “I… I haven’t had the time” Haru and Miwoo look straight at you. “I’ve been busy with a lot of things… I’ll definitely get around to it when I can”

“Like I said, there’s no rush” Professor Moon sends you a gentle smile. “But I think it would be a great opportunity”

“Yeah” You nervously breathe out before you quickly excuse yourself, pushing through Miwoo and Haru’s bodies who seem glued to the floor, their faces filled with confusion. The second you hear them calling out your name, you break out into a quick walk, manoeuvring past students who crowd the hallways.

“Get back here, you little fuck!” You hear Miwoo’s voice screech and you duck your head down in embarrassment as people look your way, covering your face with your hand as you push through a group of girls who send evil looks your way.

You see the exit doors up ahead, knowing as soon as you reach those two wooden double doors you’re able to run and hide in the comfort of your room in the apartment. You’re faster than Miwoo for sure, you can easily outrun her without a doubt… are you faster than Haru? Didn’t she used to run track? Fuck, there’s no way you can beat her. She’s too fast. You know she’s too fast. Maybe you’ll have to try and trip her up before making a run for it? Just stick your leg out and—

“Where do you think you’re running off to?” A familiar voice questions you the second you reach the exit doors, Yangyang’s smug looking down at you as his arms slither around your waist, holding you close to your chest. “Why are you trying to run off? We can hear Miwoo calling your name from our class”

“None of your business” You huff, trying your best to escape from his hold but as soon as Donghyuck’s chest presses against your back and cages you between their arms, you know you’re fucked.

You see Haru and Miwoo approach nearer in the corner of your eyes and you turn to Shotaro, pouting out your bottom lip and giving him your best innocent face in hopes he would save you but Renjun smirks, slinging his arm over his shoulder and keeping him from helping you. Shotaro gives you an apologetic and hopeful smile but you already feel defeated.

“What the hell was that?!” Miwoo exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air. “Why did you run?!”

“I panicked”

“What was Professor Moon talking about back there?” Haru asks, as calm as ever, which makes you feel guilty.

“It was just some stupid thing that—”

“It clearly wasn’t stupid if you reacted like that” Miwoo argues, her tone sharp but the look on her face shows she’s just as confused as the rest of them are. She crosses her arms over her chest. “He said ‘travelling website’… are you going somewhere?”

“No, it’s nothing like that, it’s just—” You pause to sigh. Donghyuck’s arms drop from your body and he takes a step back but Yangyang remains close, looking down at you with an unfamiliar glint in his eye but you ignore it as you open your bag, digging down to the bottom to pull out the paper slip Professor Moon had given you. “Professor Moon gave me the details of this guy who basically organises these big trips for aspiring travel writers… it happens every few months and the trip is paid for… all I have to do is sign up”

Miwoo takes the slip out of your hands, her eyes scanning over the number and website written down. The others crowd around her to take a look while Yangyang stays at your side. You look up at him, confused on why he’s acting so weird and you want to question it until Miwoo hands the slip back to you.

“Are you going to sign up?” Shotaro asks you and you struggle to form an answer, opting for a shrug instead.

“I think it would be pretty cool” Haru smiles. “You like writing and you like travelling. You should definitely go for it, if you want”

The corner of your lips twitch upwards. “Really?”

“Yeah, duh, this is a cool opportunity!! Imagine all the cute people you’re gonna meet in every place you visit” Miwoo grins, ignoring the way you all roll your eyes at her flirtatious comment. Miwoo glances around the group, pursing her lips. “Speaking of cute people, where is my boyfriend?”

“He went home early, something about his muscles hurting from his workout this morning” Donghyuck explains as he adjusts his bag on his shoulder, his eyes darting to you. “And your little boy toy is stuck in his class, he should probably be out soon though”

You snort at the ‘boy toy’ comment, hitting Donghyuck across the shoulder who is quick to whack you back, making you hiss at the stinging sensation that tingles across your arm. Yangyang jumps a bit late to your defence, raising his hand to hit Donghyuck across the head but the latter is too quick, dodging the former’s attacks.

Miwoo tuts at their behaviour before she loops her arm, shaking her head as she watches them fight. “Boys”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

You make your way over to the boy’s house shortly after the mini squabble, bidding goodbye to your friends who spend at least five minutes begging you to stay with them and to get some food but you pass, explaining to them that you had promised Jaemin to meet him. Well… you didn’t exactly promise, but you have been avoiding him these past few days, using your assignments as an excuse to say you are busy (even though it wasn’t an excuse, you were busy… just not as busy as you made yourself out to be).

The stuff with Eunbin is definitely a mind fuck. You’re curious. You want to know what happened. Why did they break up? Where did she go? Why doesn’t Jaemin talk about her? Is the ring on his bedside table hers? There are so many questions that need answering… but how the fuck are you going to get those answers when he won’t open up to you about them?

You walk through the front door silently, kicking off your shoes and hanging your coat on the rack as you step further into the house. It’s quiet, too quiet, which is unusual as it’s always been so loud and boisterous. You drop your bag down on the floor, gently pushing it to the side where you see another bag lay. It’s Jeno’s.

Heading towards the staircase, you pause as you reach the bottom step, something in your mind forbidding you from going up to Jaemin’s room. Confusion hit you and your brows furrowed. Why couldn’t you move? You glance down at your feet. There’s nothing physically stopping you… so what’s wrong?

You need answers, that annoying little voice in your head tells you. The answers are right around the corner. You take a step back, finally turning on your heel as you move in the direction of the kitchen, peeking your head around the doorframe as you hear a faint noise.

Your eyes dance across the kitchen until they land on Jeno who’s too engrossed in the show playing on his phone to even notice your arrival, earphones plugged tightly in his eyes and chopsticks in hand which he uses to eat his steaming hot ramen, slurping up the noodles hastily as if he’s afraid he would miss something from the show.

You’re fast on your feet as you hurry to take a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, unscrewing the cap and holding it out to Jeno for him to take the second he starts to choke from eating too fast. He grabs the water out of your hands without looking but once he meets your eyes, a look of surprise shows on his features as he sees you.

Jeno gulps the water first, pausing his show and tugging the earphone out of his ear. You take this opportunity to settle yourself down opposite him on the island, seeming as you caught his attention, giving him a half smile and shaking your head as he offers you a bite of his ramen.

He shrugs his shoulders, taking the bite for himself. Ask him. The voice goes again. The answers you want are right here.

“Hey, Jeno?” You call his name, immediately avoiding his eyes and finding interest in the marble. Jeno hums to let you know that he’s waiting for you to say whatever you are going to say to him. “You… you’re, like, popular with a lot of people, right? You know everything about everyone… yeah?”

Jeno quirks a brow. “Where is this conversation heading?”

“Will you do me, like, this huge favour?” You ask him, completely ignoring his own question and Jeno stares at you with slight suspicion before nodding his head slowly. You gnaw on your bottom lip, raising your head to meet his gaze. “I need you to tell me who Eunbin is…”

Jeno blinks. He doesn’t speak. He stares straight at you.

Out of all the favours you could’ve asked, he didn’t expect it to be that. Why did it have to be that? Jeno struggles to eat his ramen, swallowing harshly and grabbing his water to clear his throat. The way you’re looking at him makes him feel nervous, and he hates it.

“How do you know about Eunbin?” Well, that wasn’t what you expected.

It’s you who blinks in surprise this time and you awkwardly fiddle with your fingers. “Just some girl told me about her…”

“Some girl?” Jeno presses.

“Yeah, her name is Mia”

“Mia” Jeno repeats with an empty laugh, shaking his head as he looks down at his ramen, picking up a mouthful and biting into it. You can’t help but frown, immediately noticing how Jeno seems to be avoiding the question, until, “Mia is Eunbin’s best friend, well, one of them… It doesn’t surprise me that she told you about her”

“You don’t seem too happy about that” You point out, leaning back in your chair with a sigh, biting your inner cheek. “What is it about Eunbin that makes everyone not want to talk about her? What did she do to make everything so…” You sigh. “I don’t know. It’s just a complete head fuck these past few days”

“Look” Jeno begins, shuffling in his seat to get comfy, leaning his arms on the island as he looks straight at you. “The shit that happened between him and Eunbin isn’t my story to tell… as much as I would love to tell you everything there is to know about Eunbin, I can’t. It’s better to hear everything from Jaemin. Also, you can’t be mad at him if he doesn’t want to open up about her yet—”

“I’m not mad” You quickly say, shaking your head. “I’m just curious”

“Wait for him” Jeno tells you and you sigh in defeat but you nod anyway. Jeno instantly sees how troubled you feel and he reaches over the island to take your hand in his, giving you a reassuring smile with a squeeze of your fingers. You roll your eyes playfully at the face he gives you, ripping your hand away from his and he laughs loudly, trying to reach for it again until a cough comes from your right.

Jaemin stands in the kitchen doorway, two drinks resting on a try in one hand and his camera in the other, his eyes solely trained on you. His bangs messily lay across his forehead, hair tousled into small curls from the wind that blows heavily outside. He wore a big oversized sweater on his body and some shorts that you have never seen before, showing off his toned legs and a bruise across his knee that he told you he had previously got.

Jeno blows air past his lips as he stands up from his chair, grabbing his phone and shoving the device into the pockets of his sweatpants. He excuses himself, letting you both know that he is going to see Miwoo before he dips out of the house, not without giving you one last look which you want to roll your eyes at.

Your attention is back on Jaemin who nods his head for you to follow him which you do, walking behind him as he leads you up to his bedroom. He enters first and you follow behind, closing the door behind yourself and watching as he places his camera down on his desk along with the coffee tray, handing one over to you.

“Thank you”

“You’re welcome” He mutters, taking a sip of his own. You hesitantly take a drink from yours, eyeing him warily. Did he overhear your conversation? Fuck, is that why he’s acting so odd? You feel yourself start to panic, hands nervously gripping your plastic cup. “What were you and Jeno talking about before I came in?”

Oh. “Nothing important.. He was just cheering me up” You lie easily through your teeth. Why did you lie? Tell him the truth. “Assignments just getting to my head, it was making me stressed” Stop it.

Jaemin frowns and affectionately pats your head, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. You fight the urge to melt into his touch but you can’t help the smile that slowly forms on your lips. It’s crazy how easy he can make you soft, to make you want to relax into his arms and forget all of your troubles.

The smile instantly wipes off of your face as you realise what troubles you have. Eunbin. Your eyes flicker over to the ring that’s still sitting at the bedside table, remaining untouched. It feels like it’s teasing you, teasing you about a secret that you’re unaware of. The bitch inside you wants to throw it away or to even flick it off the bedside table so it’s out of your eyesight but you’re not that person… you’re not a bitch, you won’t stoop that low.

But could you?

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

“Okay, what’s going on?” Jaemin breaks the silence between you both. You’ve both been doing your own little thing, despite telling each other that you would spend the day together doing aimless stuff. Jaemin stands up from his desk chair, abandoning the photography project he was working on for the time being to stand between your legs that hang off the edge of his bed, his hands groping your thighs and kneading into the skin. His gaze is hard. “You’ve been weird these past few days and there’s no point denying it either, I know you… What’s going on?”

“Nothing” You mumble distractingly, eyes dazed and staring at nothing in particular, but your mind is overcrowded with multiple thoughts and unwanted feelings. It almost makes you want to throw up. Almost. “I’m just tired”

“Do you expect me to really believe that?” Jaemin quirks a brow. He tuts as he gropes your thighs harder. “You think I haven’t noticed you actively avoiding me in person?”

“W-what?” You stutter, face suddenly hot with embarrassment. “Jae, I—”

“I just want to play with you” The whine in his voice makes your stomach swirl and a tingle runs down your body. You open your mouth, close it, open it and close it again. You’re speechless with the way he’s looking at you: eyes dark yet his bottom lip juts out in a plea.

“J-Jaemin…”

“How am I supposed to play with you if you keep avoiding me and hiding from me, hm?” Jaemin hums, running his hands down your legs, pinching at your skin. “Open your legs for me. Now”

Your eyes widen at his sudden demanding tone, your legs involuntarily spreading wide apart and he grins wickedly, harshly pulling your body forwards by your legs and you gasp as your core is flush against the bulge in his shorts. You lift your hips instinctively and rub yourself over his confined cock, the grin on his face widening.

You go to lean up on your elbows but he forcefully pushes you back down, causing the air to knock out of your lungs and you gasp, not noticing the way he crawls up your body until he’s holding himself above you.

You reach up to touch his face but Jaemin shakes his head, a silent order for you to not do so and you huff, dropping your hands to your side, but that doesn’t stop your hips from moving against his and he sighs, tutting softly.

“Look at you, baby… so desperate” Jaemin’s raspy tone whispers as he stares down at you, tracing your throat with his index finger slowly, creating goosebumps in his path. The corner of his lips twitch as he feels you gulp before he wraps his hand around your neck.

You struggle to gasp as he gently applies pressure, your eyes bulging out in surprise and a little bit of fear but, fuck, you are so horny. This new side of Jaemin is something else… It excites you.

The cold metal rings on his fingers dig into the skin of your neck when he squeezes tighter and the moan you let out is utterly pathetic, but it makes Jaemin’s mind go into a frenzy, wanting nothing more than to hear you make that noise again.

“Baby, I’ll give you everything you want…” He whispers as his thumb presses down at the side of your neck, his hips rutting against yours. “There’s no need to be a bratty little bitch”

“Fuck” You choke out at his choice of words, your hands reaching up to grasp his necklace that dangles in front of your face tauntingly, pulling him down to mush your lips with his but he pulls away too quickly for your liking, causing you to pout.

Jaemin smirks, shaking his head. “Apologise first” You keep your mouth shut. “Apologise and I’ll give it to you”

“I’m sorry”

“Sorry, what?”

Your heart thumps wildly against your chest, mouth agape and eyes wide as you realise what words he wants to hear from you. Your pussy throbs at the thought, but your conversation with Yangyang from before slips into your mind and you want to punch his face. How dare he put that in your head.

“Baby…” Jaemin taunts with a warning tone, giving your neck another squeeze and your attention instantly snaps back to him, watching as he looks down at you with an expression you can’t explain, but it makes your body buzz. “Are you going to say it?”

“I’m sorry…” You whimper, fingers tugging at the necklace once again and Jaemin nods his head, eager for you to say it. “Daddy”

“That’s my good girl”

His hands are quick to get rid of your shirt, fisting the material in his grasp and yanking it over your head without warning, not even caring if he startles you or hurts you in the process which you find quite arousing. He strips you out of your bra next, his hands cupping your bare tits as his lips faintly dance over your chest, rolling your nipples between his fingers as he continues kissing down your body.

He reaches your jeans, popping the buttons and pulling them down your legs. Jaemin’s breath blows cold air on the damp patch of your underwear and you shiver, closing your thighs around his head but you jump in surprise as he snaps them open with force, whining at the ache that spreads from the sudden movement.

“You think you can get whatever you want after ignoring me?” Jaemin questions you as he laughs in disbelief. “You really think it’s that easy?”

“Please touch me” You beg pathetically. “Please touch me, daddy, please”

Jaemin hums. He loves hearing you beg, a satisfied smile spreading across his lips as your hands reach out to grab him but he moves out of your way, making your arms fall to your side in defeat.

Crawling back up your body, Jaemin pins your wrists down to the bed, cocking his head to the side as he stares down at you with dark eyes. You feel yourself struggling to breathe under his gaze, the grip he has on your wrists make you feel scared but excited.

You never expected Jaemin to be into this sort of thing, he didn’t exactly seem like the type but he continues to surprise you. It’s hot, it’s sexy… and you really want more.

It’s like he hears your thoughts with the way he slowly starts to take off his shorts, kicking them to the side while climbing higher up your body, his hands loosening their grip on your wrist to slide in between your head and the pillow, a dark smile spreading across his lips as he notices the confused expression on your face.

Jaemin carefully sits at your chest and your eyes widen slightly at the weight that’s put on you, afraid that you would really struggle to breathe and start to panic but the worry soon starts to slip away the second he speaks.

“I want you to suck my cock” Jaemin orders, the hand at the back of your neck pushes you towards the bulge in his boxers. “I want you to make it up to me for ignoring me—“

“I—"

“Ah, ah, ah” Jaemin shakes his head. “No excuses, baby…” You involuntarily lick your lips when he pushes you close again, nose brushing against his underwear and you look up at him, eyes so innocent and wide. Jaemin deeply exhales. “Put me in your mouth”

You oblige without question, despite the awkward struggle you have to pull down his boxers in this position but your lips immediately wrap around him. A grunt leaves Jaemin, tongue poking out between his lips as he looks down at you, a hand remaining on the back of your neck as moan against his cock.

You try to steadily breathe through your nose as you are forced to take him all the way to the back of your throat, the sounds of his grunting and groaning makes you beam with pride, continuing to suck and bob your head in hopes to get him to release his load down your throat. A treat just for you.

But, you didn’t deserve it.

Jaemin rips your mouth off of him by fisting your hair and yanking you backwards, hissing at the pain that spreads all over your scalp. Your panties are wet and uncomfortably clinging to your folds… you couldn’t believe how turned on you are over this.

With a free hand, Jaemin taps the head of his cock against your lips and you take it as an order to open up again, waiting for him to slide his length into your mouth but he doesn’t, he just stares down at you with the most feral look in his eyes.

“I want to fuck your throat so bad” He mutters, slapping his cock against your cheek. “But you would enjoy that a little too much, wouldn’t you slut?”

“Daddy” You mewl, the name rolling off your tongue too easily now and Jaemin fights the urge to genuinely smile. Despite this new, and frankly hot persona, he’s not actually mad at you ignoring him. He was a little bit upset during the first three days of not being able to see you in person, but he figured that you had a reason why. Jaemin believed that you were busy with all your assignments, however he knew there was something else involved.

He secretly hopes you will tell him.

Jaemin immediately pulls himself out of the thoughts inside his head as he feels you softly kitten lick the tip of his cock, wanting his attention back on you which he happily gives, running his fingers through your hair affectionately before he pushes your head back down on him again.

You gag the second you feel him hit the back of your throat, your hands pressing against his hips to keep him still but he continues to thrust, looking down at you while you choke. The tears that prickle in your eyes doesn’t stop him, neither does the gagging noises you make or how your nails dig into his skin. He hisses at the pain but does nothing to push you away, biting down on his bottom lip as he slides down your throat again, your nose digging into his pelvis.

“Good girl” He coos as he finally lets you go, your head slamming back against the pillows as you suck in deep breaths, your sight a little hazy but you’re still able to see Jaemin shuffle down your body, peeling your wet underwear down your legs in one swift motion before he settles between them.

His hand comes up to cup your jaw, eyes staring straight into yours as he pokes out his tongue and licks your lips. You open your mouth to take his tongue between your teeth but your teeth barely graze him, his hand sliding down from your jaw to wrap around your neck.

“Don’t” He warns with a squeeze and you nod quickly, trying to steadily breathe through your nose. Jaemin shifts between your legs, using his free hand to guide himself to your entrance, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he bottoms out inside you, not even giving you a chance to get comfortable as he moves his hips at abnormal speeds.

You squeal, your pussy convulsing around his cock with every rapid thrust and you grip his wrist of the hand that chokes you, his rings digging into your skin but it only adds pain to the pleasure.

“Fuck. You look so fucking perfect with my hand wrapped around your neck” Jaemin grunts and the broken moans you let out only fuel him, using his free hand to grip your leg and throw it over his shoulder, reaching a place inside you that makes your back arch, your whole body trembling at the sensation.

“Daddy!!!” God, you feel like you could cry. Not because it hurts or because he’s making you uncomfortable. It’s from the pleasure, it’s from the enjoyment. This attitude he has makes your pussy throb and you feel oh so grateful to experience this side of him, a side that you would’ve never guessed he had.

You wonder what other surprises he has up his sleeve.

“Can I try something?” Jaemin asks you, slowly down his movements and breaking out of character as looks at you and you nod your head, immediately taking notice of the smirk that spreads across his face.

His grip loosens on your neck, fingers deciding to trail upwards and dig in the hollows of your cheeks, causing your mouth to open wide. Your eyes almost bulge out of your head as you realise his motives but still, you allow him to do it. He leans forward, pursing his lips together and spitting into your mouth all while keeping eye contact with you.

You feel disgusting. You feel dirty… but you love it. You swallow and the grin that lights up on his face makes your heart warm, his lips eagerly kissing yours as he resumes in his thrusts, his hand reaching behind you to grip the headboard to stabilise himself, his biceps tensing as he pounds into you at a relentless pace.

The lower half of your body burns and your leg that’s on his shoulder shakes. The tears are freely streaming down your cheeks, high pitch moans and low grunts filling the room along with skin slapping against skin. It sounds pornographic and you feel so thankful knowing that you both have the house to yourselves.

The bed creaks with every move and you wail when he thrusts deep, the way his cock rubs against your walls make him release a sound that you’ve never heard before and you moan back, so turned on and so fucking horny for him. He places his hand on your stomach and lets out a breathy laugh once he feels himself whenever he’s bottoming out inside you.

“Can you feel my inside your belly?” Jaemin questions, eyes flickering to meet yours before looking back down at your stomach. “You’re such a slut for taking my big dick, aren’t you?”

“Yes daddy” You babble, even reaching down yourself to feel the bulge in your tummy. Fuck. “D-deeper… please”

“Deeper?” He repeats, raising a brow as he smirks down at you. “You want me to go deeper?” He tuts. “You’re so greedy”

You start to protest as you feel him slip out of you, reaching out to touch him, desperate to have his cock and he grabs your hips tightly to flip you around, huffing as you land on your stomach. Without warning, he rams his cock back inside your dripping pussy, hips slapping against your ass. His pace is feral and it leaves you speechless. Your mouth drops open but there’s no sound escaping, eyes rolling to the back of your head in complete pleasure.

“Good girl” He quietly praises you in your ear and you feel a sense of pride. “You’re taking me so fucking well” Jaemin looks down, his eyes fluttering in pleasure as he watches your hole greedily take him, almost drooling at the sight. He licks at his lips. “Fuck, Y/N”

You can’t even form a correct sentence to tell him how good he’s making you feel. God, he’s making you feel so fucking good. The way your fingers grip the bed sheets and how your toes curl every time he hits deep inside you.

You cum way before you even realise it, your legs trembling and pussy pulsating around his cock and you only notice it when Jaemin snickers and calls you out, calling you a stupid bitch which usually would probably make you cry but you could only let out an incoherent moan, too fucked to speak.

Your body jolts as Jaemin uses you to get himself off, panting loudly in your ear and whispering dirty little things that makes your pussy flutter. With one last powerful thrust, he stills, cum filling your walls and you gasp at the feeling, weakly reaching around your body to grab at him and he takes your hand, intertwining your fingers together as he empties himself inside of you with heavy breathing.

He squeezes your hand as he pulls out his cock, watching as the mixture of both of your cum falls to the sheets and he falls back on his feet with a huff, letting go of your hand to run his fingers through his sweaty hair.

You struggle to move yourself onto your back, opting to stay on your front instead as you try to control your breathing. You crane your neck to look at Jaemin who wears an expression you struggle to recognise, your stomach dropping when he doesn’t even look you in the eyes. Did you do something? Is something wrong? You feel yourself start to panic but you try to maintain a normal face. Fuck, what’s going on? Why is the silence so deafening?

Jaemin raises his head to finally meet your eyes, the pair of you staring at each other in silence before he gives you a tight lipped smile, reaching down to rub your lower back comfortingly.

“Let’s get you cleaned up”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

Jaemin sits on the edge of his bed alone while you sleep behind him, listening to the rain that pelts heavily against his window along with the steady sound of your breathing. He mindlessly fiddles with the rings on his fingers, staring at his drawn blackout curtains with no emotion in his face.

Something pulls at his chest and drops in his stomach, but he feels nothing? His body feels foreign and he even glances down at his hands, flexing his fingers to make sure that he’s still conscious and he places his hand above his heart. Still beating.

If everything’s okay, why does he feel like shit? The sex wasn’t bad, that was the best sex he’s had in awhile. He enjoyed it and most importantly you enjoyed it… so what was wrong? Jaemin sighs softly, rubbing his face tiredly as he stands up from the bed and makes his way over to his mini fridge, opening it up and grabbing a bottle of water. He unscrews the cap and takes a few gulps, eyes darting around the room before landing on that. The ring.

His eyes remain on the dainty jewellery as he takes a few more gulps before putting the bottle down, making his way over to his bedside table and carefully picking it up, examining it between his two fingers with a deadpan expression, lips in a straight line.

“Jaemin?” Your groggy voice calls out his name, eyes barely open as you shuffle around beneath the sheets. Your voice stops him from thinking about the shit that was on the verge of overcrowding his mind, bringing him back to reality.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” You question, yawning and rubbing at your eyes as you try to adjust to the darkness of his room. Jaemin doesn’t answer at first, swallowing thickly and taking in a breath as he closes his fist around the ring and opens his bedside drawer, throwing the jewellery inside and forcing it shut.

He’s silent as he climbs underneath the covers next to you, resting his head on the pillow and staring straight at you. Neither of you say anything for a while, despite you feeling curious and wanting to repeat the previous question but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, not with the way he’s looking at you right now.

His hand reaches out to caress your cheek and the skin warms at the touch. He doesn’t tear his eyes from yours as his hand moves to push back the hair that falls in front of your face, tucking it missily behind your ear and his fingers trail down to play with the dangly jewellery in your ear.

You can’t look away from him, you physically can’t break away. You feel captured by him—by his actions, by his eyes, by his face… What is this feeling? Jaemin leans forward to meet your lips in a gentle kiss and you cup his face, forgetting the lingering question in your mind as you melt into the kiss, your lips moving softly against his.

This was different from the others that you have shared…and you kinda liked it.

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

[groupchat — hyuck and his hoes]

jeno: someone tell miwoo to shut the fck up n let me dye my hair blue

miwoo: u are not dyeing ur hair fucking blue lee jeno miwoo: the last time u dyed ur hair it was snapping off

jeno: what???? u wont like me bald???? would u still love me if i was bald miwoo???

miwoo: no [jeno disliked this message]

jeno: slut [miwoo disliked this message]

miwoo: fuck off big nose bitch [jeno disliked this message]

jeno: lol says you

renjun: can u not fucking argue in the gc

shotaro: don't fight

yangyang: lololol arguing again? lololol [miwoo and jeno disliked this message]

haru: ????

miwoo: no u asshole we're not arguing miwoo: we are actually on a VERY lovin shopping date rn <3 [miwoo sent a photo to the groupchat] miwoo: see <3333

renjun: wow renjun: unbelievably loving

miwoo: fuck off

yangyang: hyuck and i are on our own shopping date too <3 [yangyang sent a photo to the groupchat]

you: why he look like that [renjun liked this message]

donghyuck: what the fuck is that supposed to mean [you laughed at this message]

you: :)

donghyuck: >:(

miwoo: OH WAIT miwoo: CAN YOU PLZ GET ME THOSE SWEET POTATO CHIPS I FORGOT TO GET THEM

donghyuck: why would i do that

miwoo: to? be? fucking? nice?

donghyuck: ok donghyuck: and why would i do that lol

miwoo: go fuck urself hyuck

yangyang: i'll get u them yangyang: i gotta get yn those honey butter chips anyway

you: ????? you: but i didn't ask for anything

yangyang: i know yangyang: but u like them so i thought id get them

you: oh you: thank u :)

yangyang: :)

donghyuck: lol simp

miwoo: wheres haru and renjun btw miwoo: answer ur phones u fuckers im calling u

renjun: i blocked ur number

haru: we're with shotaro hanging out

jeno: where tf was our invite

renjun: we didn't want to hang out with u

haru: you guys were already on your date haru: we met up with shotaro after his dance class ended

shotaro: we went to misfits and johnny gave me a walkman and some tapes for free :D

miwoo: FOR FREE?!!?! miwoo: JOHNY NEVER GIVES ME ANYTHIN FOR FREe

renjun: johnny doesn't like u

miwoo: johnny literally likes everyone shu the fuck up

yangyang: hes like the most sweetest guy ever lol yangyang: but i think he wants to kill u like 99% of the time

miwoo: wdym im his favourite

donghyuck: no, thats haru

haru: :)

miwoo: ok fine whatever im at least second

renjun: no thats shotaro

yangyang: shotaro is everyones favourite <3

shotaro: <3 [yangyang hearted this message]

you: its true

jeno: yn where are u btw jeno: me & miwoo just got at the apt and ur not here jeno: ur room is dirty it needs to be cleaned

you: jeno????? get the fuck out of my room????

jeno: whats in the box under the bed ;)

you: JENO

miwoo: hes not in ur room now lol miwoo: .... miwoo: but seriously wahts in the box under the bed

you: none of ur business bitch

miwoo: i love it when u talk to me like that <3333

jaemin: shes with me at home jaemin: we'll be at the apt in 10

donghyuck: yn do u ever like our house

you: donghyuck do u ever like shut the fuck up

donghyuck: hm donghyuck: touche

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

“Jeno’s not talking to me” Miwoo admits over breakfast one morning, jabbing her fork frustratingly into her eggs. You and Haru both look up from your plates in surprise, sharing a wary glance before looking back at Miwoo who’s lip juts out in a pout. “We argued about him dyeing his hair which was dumb but then it escalated into something bigger and now… he’s not talking to me”

“You guys were fine on Tuesday?” Haru furrows her brows. “You went on a date”

“I know!” Miwoo exlcaims, throwing down her fork with a loud sigh. She leans back against her seat. “He’s been, like, so sensitive recently. Everything seems to piss him off or make him upset… it’s annoying!!”

“Is it actually because of the hair dyeing situation?” You question, biting into a piece of toast and quickly sipping your coffee. You swallow thickly. “Did that start off the argument?”

“I mean, I guess? I don’t know” Miwoo shrugs her shoulders. “We bickered about it for, like, five minutes before he made this big ass speech about how I don’t listen and that I’m selfish and only think about myself? What the fuck? I literally had his dick shoved down my throat for hours on my knees!! How am I selfish?!?!”

“He said that?”

“Yeah! I know that I don’t listen sometimes, I admit that!! But I’m not fucking selfish” Miwoo seethes, picking up her coffee and taking three big gulps before slamming the empty cup back on the table. She huffs, tapping her nails against the glass before her eyes flick up to look between you and Haru. “Am I selfish?”

“I don’t think you’re selfish” You shake your head and Haru agrees with a hum beside you. “It sounds like Jeno was stressed and decided to be an asshole and take it out on you”

Miwoo is silent for a moment, pursing her lips deep in thought. She then smiles widely. “Should I get back at him?”

“No” Haru sternly says as she pokes her fork in Miwoo’s direction. “Just try and talk to him, like a normal person would. Getting back at him will only make it worse”

“Okay, fine” Miwoo grumbles, picking up a slice of toast and shoving it into her mouth, chewing angrily. You frown as you notice how differently Miwoo’s acting about this argument despite it being so small and petty. They’ve had bigger arguments and even then Miwoo wasn’t as bothered as she was now. Was it actually the fact that Jeno called her selfish or was it something else that was bothering her?

Miwoo senses you’re looking at her and meets your eyes, sending you a tight lipped smile which you return instantly. She gets up from the table, putting her empty plate into the sink and filling her cup back up with coffee before settling back down in her seat at the table, bringing her knees comfortably to her chest.

She takes a drink, staring at Haru over the rim of the cup. “Do you have anything tragic about your lovelife to make me feel a little bit better?”

“Umm…” Haru pauses, pulling her brows together in deep thought while staring down at her plate, tapping her fork against it. She grins. “I had a pregnancy scare the other day”

Miwoo slams her hands on the table dramatically while you almost choke on your toast, covering your mouth and beating at your chest to try and clear your airway. Haru laughs at your reactions, shoving a forkful of eggs into her mouth as if what she said was completely normal. Miwoo’s facial expression would have definitely sent you into a laughing fit if you weren’t five seconds away from dying, her eyes almost bulging out of her skull and mouth open so wide you’re a hundred percent positive you can fit your whole fist inside.

You manage to catch your breath, coughing to clear your throat and taking a sip of your drink to try and soothe the pain in your chest. Haru remains neutral, scooping the last forkful of eggs into her mouth before standing to gather the rest of the empty plates off the table and taking them to the sink to wash.

“How the fuck did you have a pregnancy scare?” Miwoo asks her incredulously.

“Well, when you have unprotected sex—”

Miwoo raises her hand to silence her. “That’s not what I mean and you know it”

“We were dumb, that’s all” Haru shrugs her shoulders with a light laugh. “He didn’t wear a condom and I forgot to take the pill. My period was late and I was sick so Renjun went to the pharmacy while I was in work and got me a pregnancy test”

“And?”

Haru gives Miwoo a blank look. “It was negative, Miwoo”

“Aw, man” She pouts in disappointment. You snicker and hit her with your foot beneath the table the same time Haru pushes the back of her head. Miwoo looks up at Haru. “Would you be upset if you were pregnant? Would you keep the baby?”

“Probably not” Haru shakes her head while scrubbing the plates clean. “I’m not ready for a baby and to be honest, I don’t even know if I want one. They’re hard work and I’m not exactly ready to drop my life to take care of someone else's… no offence to any of the people we know that have kids”

“What’s that guy’s name that’s friends with Hyunjin?” Miwoo asks, looking at you for help and you shrug your shoulders. “You know, the one that’s a single dad!! He used to hang out with Eric and Sunwoo too until his ex-girlfriend got pregnant and dipped after she give birth”

“Oh, Soobin?”

“Soobin!” Miwoo repeats, grinning widely. “He’s cute. Poor guy though, he had to leave college and get a job to help raise his kid”

“Didn’t he used to live with Felix and Hyunjin?” Haru asks as she sits back down at the table, getting comfortable in her seat while taking her phone out of her pockets. “Pretty sure he lived with those boys for awhile”

“I think he’s living with his friend, Yeonjun, now” You say and Haru confirms that you’re right by shoving her phone screen in your face, showing Soobin’s recently instagram photo of him holding his baby with Yeonjun by his side at a park, both grinning at the camera.

You smile at the image, feeling somewhat proud of Soobin for being able to stay strong and take care of a baby alone. You briefly remember the interactions between him and the others when he first told them his ex-girlfriend got pregnant, the majority of the boys panicking for him while the others congratulated him, reassuring that he will be the best dad possible (which was true).

But the smile soon disappears from your face when you remember how Eric looked at you when Soobin first introduced the group to his baby, allowing his little bundle of joy to sleep peacefully in your arms. Admittingly, you don’t want a child nor are you ready to have your own, but during that moment with the way Eric was looking at you so lovingly, you would’ve definitely changed your mind. How disgusting.

“Knock, knock, are you still there?” Miwoo’s teasing voice brings you out of your thoughts, swatting her hand away as she knocks against your forehead. “You zoned out for a while… you okay?”

“No, yeah, I’m fine” You nod, giving her your best fake smile. “I was just thinking”

“About what?”

“Nothing important” You easily dismiss and both girls eye you suspiciously, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under their gaze. You take this opportunity to excuse yourself, standing from your chair at the table and heading straight to your room, quickly flipping them off behind your back as you hear them snicker.

You close the door behind yourself and instantly flop down on your bed with a sigh, staring up at your ceiling with a frown. You feel annoyed at allowing yourself to think about the past and bring down your mood. You feel annoyed at the constant mood swings you’re experiencing and why you’re letting things affect you.

Grabbing your phone from the bedside table where it lays to charge, you check the date. Your period is not due for another week. Great. What can you blame your feelings on now? You huff, throwing your phone to the side but you immediately pick it back up once you hear it vibrate. Jaemin’s name flashes across the screen and you slide your finger across to answer.

“Hello?”

“Get dressed. I’m coming to get you in five minutes”

“What?” You sit up, pulling your brows together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I want to see you. I’m also thirsty so I’m taking us to get some coffees or something. My treat” He speaks so smoothly on the other side and you struggle to fight back a smile. “Just me and you, okay? Get dressed”

“Okay, okay” You laugh as you rise from your bed, making your way over to your closet. “I’m hanging up”

You can hear him grin. “See you soon, baby”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

The bell rings above your head as you and Jaemin enter the café, the smell of coffee and pastries instantly filling your nostrils and your mouth waters for a taste. You practically float to the counter, your fingers grazing over the glass cabinet where the desserts are showcased, eyes staring holes into the fancy cakes.

Jaemin chuckles at your reaction, a hand affectionately stroking the back of your head and cooing at how cute you’re being which you simply ignore, too engrossed in trying to figure out which one you would happily shove down your throat.

“Welcome to 7 Dream Cafe” Jisung, a worker that you all have grown quite fond of over the multiple times coming to this cafe, greets you with a little to no enthusiasm, clearly tired from having to use the same greeting over and over again. “Can I take your order?”

“Do you have to say that everytime we come here?” Jaemin asks, eyebrow twitching in amusement.

“Sadly” He mutters, adjusting the blue pinny around his body. “Apparently it’s a good look for the company to greet customers with the cafe’s name, makes it look professional and all that”

“Did they say that or did Chenle?”

Jisung blinks. “Chenle”

“He’s probably fucking around with you” You tell him as you finally manage to tear your eyes away from the cakes, giving Jisung a grin which he happily reciprocates before turning expressionless again. “Where is that little gremlin anyways?”

“He’s out the back trying to teach this girl how to decorate the cakes. He nearly dumped a whole bowl of frosting over her head when she fucked up the flower design” Jisung explains to you both, not even trying to hide the enjoyment on his face.

“You seem way to happy about that”

“I’m just glad it’s not me” Jisung holds his hands up in defence before his fingers tap against the touchscreen of the cash register at the most expert pace. “You want your usual, yeah?”

Jaemin hums and nods his head, fishing his wallet out of his pocket. He points towards the glass cabinet. “And throw in two of those fancy little cakes, the ones that Y/N’s been staring at since we got here”

“Gotcha”

“Hey!”

Jaemin shushes you by pressing a finger against your lips, shaking his head. He orders you to go find a seat while he pays and you comply, heading towards your usual seat at the back near the windows. Jaemin follows shortly behind with the beverages in hand, handing over your iced coffee before he sits down opposite you, drinking his iced americano through his straw.

Jisung makes his way over soon after, placing the delicious looking cakes on the table before scurrying off to serve someone else and you grin as you watch him greet the customer, adding a fake smile at the end when Chenle comically peers his head around the corner to watch.

Jaemin picks up a fork from the place, cutting a corner of one of the cakes and holding the treat out towards you to take a bite which you happily do, leaning forward with the widest grin you could muster. Your lips wrap around the cake and you lean back, humming in delight at the taste that hits your tongue and Jaemin smiles, sucking the remaining cream off of the same fork as he waits for your approval.

“Holy shit” Was your confirmation on how good the cake was, staring at Jaemin with the blankest of expressions but the look in your eyes told him how you really felt. Jaemin bites down on his bottom lip to suppress a laugh, using the fork to cut off another piece of the cake to try for himself. He chews for a moment, eyebrows pulling together in concentration and then he stops, head snapping up to look at you.

“Oh my god”

“Exactly” You nod your head, completely understanding what he’s feeling right now. “I’ve never tasted anything so delicious in my life”

“Eh” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders, a dirty smirk spreading across his lips as you take a sip of your coffee. “I’ve tasted better”

You almost choke to death.

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

It’s been a little over two hours since you and Jaemin came to the cafe, ordering more drinks and delicious pastries until your stomachs could barely hold anything else. Neither of you wanted to leave, enjoying each other’s company.

It surprises you how you never feel bored or awkward with Jaemin. You talk for hours without running out of things to say and even when you do stop talking, the silence isn’t uncomfortable. It feels natural, too natural, and it kind of scares you a little bit. But that doesn’t stop you from wanting his attention, yearning for his presence.

The only problem you have is that he doesn’t really talk about himself. You only know the basic details like how his favourite colour is black because it’s a colour that matches with anything, how enjoys photography so much that he wants to take pictures of everything, he likes spending time indoors watching TV or doing something that’s close to nothing as he prefers to be lazy than productive. The only personal thing you know is that he’s an only child and he hardly gets to see his parents… you wanted to know more.

He makes you intrigued with how secretive he is, yet it also annoys you. You’re positive he knows almost everything there is to know about you… why hasn’t he said anything about him?

Wait for him. Jeno’s voice rings in your head and you bite down hard on your cheek. Wait for him. Wait for him. Wait for him. Wai—

“You know… you never told me about you” Fuck. Oh no.

“What do you mean?” Jaemin asks, looking up to briefly meet your eyes across the table in curiosity with a brow raised before he looks back down at his cup, sipping through the straw.

“About you… about Eunbin” You answer hesitantly, eyeing him warily as you were worrying that this wasn’t exactly the best way to bring up his past in a conversation like this and your body tenses as you notice the shift in Jaemin’s demeanour.

His jaw clenches at the mention of his ex’s name and his past relationship, tongue poking at his cheek in irritation and he places his cup down on the table, the regret immediately eating you up.

Your fingers nervously dance across your own cup. “I just… I’ve heard so much about her, you know, and the way people talk about her… she seems like she’s really, uh, sweet? I guess it just makes me wonder what the hell happened between you both”

His head snaps up to stare at you. “Y/N—”

“I’m sorry for bringing it up” You apologise quickly, avoiding his dark eyes. “Everyone knows her apart from me and it’s frustrating… plus, I told you everything about me and my past relationship, so I guess I kinda hoped you would open up and tell me about yours too… but you didn’t”

He’s silent as he stares at you, eyes roaming over your face, noticing how awkward yet desperate you look. You want an answer from him… but he feels like he can’t give it to you. It made his chest hurt, his heart felt like it was twisting and being punched repeatedly.

Teeth gnaw at his bottom lip, leg nervously bouncing up and down underneath the table. Fuck. Just do it. Rip the bandaid off. He lets out a deep sigh as he leans back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair before folding his hands in his lap.

“Okay, fine… I’ll tell you all about Eunbin”

You meet his eyes in shock. “You will?”

Jaemin takes a deep breath. “Eunbin and I were together for nearly two years. She worked in an art store downtown so we’d bump into each other whenever I needed to buy a new camera or a new scrapbook to put my photos in… I found her utterly breathtaking and captivating that I asked her if she could be my model for one of my photography projects, and she said that she would agree only if she could draw me for her art project… so we made a deal”

You smile at that.

“God, she was like a breath of fresh air, you know? She never cared about what other people thought of her too, she was just living her life to the fullest with no worries or regrets. She was constantly happy and I think that’s what made her so attractive and so perfect to me….”

Jaemin pauses for a moment, turning his head to the side to stare out of the window to the empty street. The smile slips from your face in concern as you see his hands shake and breathing tremble, wanting to reach out and grab him in comfort. You wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to continue talking about her anymore.

But, you find it beautiful, the way he talks about her. Jaemin was so in love with Eunbin that it sent a small ache to your chest, a feeling you’re deeply confused about but you refused to give it the attention and merely pushed it to the side as you see Jaemin’s eyes glaze over as he looks back at you.

“Eunbin, uh… she got accepted into this art school that she desperately wanted and she worked hard for. She would constantly be up all day and night creating new things to send off… I was happy for her, you know, her art is fucking gorgeous” Jaemin praises her with a proud yet faint smile, rubbing the sleeve of his sweater across his nose as he sniffles. “But, um, the school wasn’t here… It was in New York. The fucking art school was in New York and she took it without hesitations, not really caring about anything else even though we talked about it. She said that the art school was the most important and meaningful thing to her… she said nothing else mattered to her and she, just… she…”

“Eunbin left you”

“Yeah, she left me” Jaemin is quiet now, not daring to meet your eyes as he drops his head to look down at the table, tongue poking at his cheek to keep himself neutral. “I was proud of her, I always was. I admired her for working towards her dream and doing whatever she had to do to get to that dream, but… I didn’t think she would leave me that easily, you know? She slept with me, I woke up and she was gone”

“I’m sorry Jaemin”

When Jaemin doesn’t answer, you push yourself out of your seat to walk around the table and sit next to him, throwing your arms around his shoulder for a hug and he’s quick to wrap his arms around you for comfort, his head buried in the crevice of your neck. He holds you tight, fingers gripping the back of your shirt tightly to bring you closer to his body, afraid you would somehow slip away from him like Eunbin did… but you wouldn’t leave him.

…Would you?

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

You come home late that night, bidding Jaemin goodbye at your door when he insisted on walking you home. He held your hand the entire way, fingers locked with yours to tug you close to his body whenever you walked too far ahead or behind. He was quieter than usual too and you had a feeling it was because of the conversation prior. You were scared and anxious, wondering if you fucked everything up by asking about his past and bringing up Eunbin but he smiled at you every time you made eye contact and when he kissed you before you went inside your apartment, you felt a little bit better… only a little.

You kick your shoes off at the door and walk into the living room, a smile creeping onto your face as you see Miwoo sleeping on the sofa with an empty tub of ice-cream in her hands and a blanket wrapped around her shoulders to keep her warm. You carefully reach down to take the empty tub from Miwoo’s hands, holding back a laugh as she huffs and whines in her sleep before curling up into a ball and letting out soft snores.

Entering the kitchen, you’re shocked to see your friends sitting around the island, deep in conversation with bags of candy, ice-cream tubs and half empty bottles of soda surrounding them. Haru’s the first to notice you from her place on top of the counter and with Renjun between her legs with his back against her chest, he notices you next.

“You’re back late” Haru points out and you nod your head sheepishly. Donghyuck and Yangyang’s head snap towards you at the sound of your voice and they rush over, throwing themselves at you and you huff once you feel their weight, almost falling down with Donghyuck who trips over his own feet but Yangyang keeps you upright, arms wrapped tight around your waist as he rubs his cheek against yours.

“Yang—” You grunt, fighting out of his grip. “Get off me, you’re making me all sweaty”

Yangyang hums. “I don’t mind”

“I do!” Your voice strains as you try your hardest to pull out of his arms, succeeding only when you decide to jab his armpits and he yelps, stumbling back and placing his hands under his armpits with a look of disbelief.

“We haven’t seen you all day” Donghyuck pouts, reaching out to caress your head but you dodge, dipping under his arm to make your way over to the trash and throw in the empty ice-cream tub you had momentarily forgot you had in your hands. Donghyuck crosses his arms over his chest. “Jaemin’s been too clingy with you recently and I don’t like it. You were our best friend first, you know”

You smirk, leaning back against the counter. “It sounds like you’re jealous”

“And what if I am?!?” Donghyuck screeches and you immediately press your finger against your lips to be quiet, reminding him that Miwoo is asleep in the living room but Donghyuck doesn’t care. He huffs loudly. “I can’t believe you’re choosing getting your back blown out over hanging out with us… disgusting”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve blown us off multiple times when you tried to sleep with Aisha—”

“Do not mention her name” Donghyuck cuts you off, shoving his fingers into his ears and closing his eyes as if it helps cancel out any other possible sounds. “It’s still a touchy subject”

“Sorry” You chuckle, not feeling apologetic at all as you pour yourself a drink. “And for your information, even though it’s none of your business, we went down to the cafe and hung out. No backs were being blown”

Donghyuck pulls his fingers out of his ears and pats your shoulder sympathetically, clearly hearing what you said. “I’m sorry”

“Wait, you went to the cafe?” Yangyang questions, furrowing his brows. “What? Like a date?”

“No” You immediately answer, shaking your head. “We just hung out, like friends”

“You were there all day” Yangyang points out, his arms now crossing over his chest as his eyes glue onto you. “Did he pay for your shit?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

Yangyang interrupts you. “Then it was a date”

You roll your eyes. “It was not a date”

“I pay for stuff when me and Yeji hang out” Shotaro speaks up from beside you, licking the ice-cream off of his spoon. “It’s just being nice”

“You like Yeji, dude. Of course you’re going to pay for her” Donghyuck chuckles as he unwraps a bright red lollipop and places it on his tongue. “That’s also a great way to get in her good books, good job!”

Shotaro pulls a confused face and he goes to open his mouth until Renjun gently nudges him with his foot, shaking his head to tell him to not get involved which, after a lot of hesitation, he doesn’t. Shotaro turns back to devouring his ice-cream and you smile, rubbing the back of his head affectionately.

Yangyang and Donghyuck continues to grill you about the ‘supposed’ date and you try your hardest to ignore them, smiling when Shotaro offers you a bite of his ice-cream as he holds the spoon close to your face and you go to wrap your lips around the vanilla goodness until Jeno slams his phone down on the table.

“Will you losers shut the fuck up?” Jeno snaps, glaring angrily at Donghyuck and Yangyang who immediately shut up, eyes wide at Jeno’s sudden outburst. “Whatever is going on between Y/N and Jaemin is none of your business. If she says it wasn’t a date, then it wasn’t a fucking date… you’re giving me a headache”

Donghyuck pulls the lollipop out of his mouth, tongue painted a bright red. He points it at Jeno. “What’s crawled up your ass lately? You’ve been grumpy as fuck these past few days”

“Donghyuck” Renjun warns him, sending him a look. “Stop”

“I’m just asking” Donghyuck grumbles, shoving the lollipop back into his mouth and crossing his arms over his chest angrily. He mutters profanities under his breath, ignoring the glare Jeno sends his way, a look that would make anyone go silent in seconds but Donghyuck continues running his mouth.

You roll your eyes, rubbing your temples as Jeno and Donghyuck start to bicker back and forth, Yangyang occasionally adding fuel to the flame by commenting on Jeno’s attitude and backing Donghyuck up. Renjun looks unimpressed as he stares at the trio, shaking his head and glancing over his shoulder at Haru who yawns tiredly, clearly not interested in the fight.

The second Jeno jumps up from his seat, you step forwards and press your hand against his shoulder to forcefully sit him back down, looking between the boys in disbelief. “Really? You’re seriously going to fight over this? What the fuck?”

“Jeno’s the one with his head up his—”

“Stop” You hold out your hand in front of Donghyuck’s face to silence him and to your surprise, his mouth closes instantly and he glares instead. You sigh, dropping your hand to your side and you stare between them. “You guys are being assholes, I hope you realise that”

“Sorry” Donghyuck apologises with a pout, side eyeing Jeno who flips him off before looking back down at his phone. Donghyuck stares at him for a few mere seconds, blinking as he slowly turns his head to face you. You pull a face at his expression and he pokes his tongue out at you childishly.

He resumes in happily sucking the lollipop as if nothing ever happened while Yangyang’s eyes are stuck on you, teeth snagging on his bottom lip. He watches as you bring your attention to Jeno, eyeing him with so much curiosity and wonder that he almost finds it endearing, and he hates it.

Yangyang has never felt the feelings that swirl around in his tummy before, nor has he experienced his heart racing so fast he feels like he’s going to collapse. God, he hates it. He hates it so much. It makes him feel sick that he can’t control how he’s feeling whenever he’s around you. Why do you make him feel so much? Why do you make him feel?

Gross, he thinks with a grimace, yet he can’t help but smile at you when you meet his eyes, the swirling in his tummy and the giddy feeling letting him know that he is screwed.

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

“So…” You begin, sitting on the stool opposite Jeno to capture his attention once you’re both alone. The others decide to split off into small groups: Haru and Renjun heading to her room together to spend some time alone with each other, the latter complaining about being around you all for too long and losing brain cells while the former yawns during every sentence, exhausted from the day she’s had.

Yangyang, Donghyuck and Shotaro invade the living room to watch movies the second Miwoo wakes up to go to the bathroom, kicking her out of her comfy spot on the sofa which nearly ended up in her attacking them all with the TV remote out of rage but she calms herself down once she realises that she doesn’t have the energy to fight, instead she flips them off and disappears down the hallway.

You and Jeno remain in the kitchen, cleaning up after the mess they all created in silence which you wanted to break, rummaging through your brain for conversation starters but you frown as nothing interesting comes up, washing your hands angrily in the sink before a light bulb appears above your head.

Jeno meets your eyes the second you sit opposite him, raising a brow curiously. “So?”

“Have you and Miwoo made up yet?” Jeno shrugs his shoulders and your frown deepens. “I… don’t really know what that’s supposed to mean”

“Miwoo hasn’t said a word to me today” He runs his fingers through his hair, messing with the growing mullet that suits him pretty nicely. “I was hoping we’d talk and she would apologise but, you know, I’ve had nothing”

You furrow your brows. “What exactly happened between you two?”

Jeno sighs as he starts to explain. “I’ve been stressed these past couple of days with college and with some shit that’s going through my head. I thought I’d feel better with telling Miwoo about it, hoping that she’d give me some advice or something but she basically just brushed it to the side and tried to have sex with me to make me feel better… I love sex. I have sex with her every single day. I enjoy sex… I just didn’t want it in that moment and it caused an argument”

“Oh, I thought you guys argued about the whole hair dyeing situation”

“We argued about that too” Jeno nods, twisting the rings on his fingers with a slight frown on his face. “I wanted to dye my hair blue just for a little bit of fun but Miwoo didn’t want me to do it because she didn’t want me too, because she didn’t like it, because she prefers the black… I just snapped, I couldn’t help it. I called her selfish and that she didn’t care about what I thought. I didn’t mean it and I actually really regret it, but I was angry that she’s not considering how I feel about certain things”

Your heart pangs at the sight of seeing Jeno so down, knowing him as the happiest and upbeat type of guy. His eyes hold no emotion and there’s no smile on his lips. It pains you to see him this way.

“I’m not trying to make excuses for her, but you know that Miwoo has trouble expressing certain feelings…” The way Jeno’s face drops makes you feel even more terrible. “She knows that sex makes you both happy and that’s probably why she tried to initiate it in the first place, to make you both happy. With the whole wanting to dye your hair blue thing, I think Miwoo was genuinely just trying to look out for you… Remember when you bleached your hair blonde? It literally snapped off of your head like a twig”

“Yeah, I know” Jeno mutters as he mindlessly picks at his hoodie, finding interest in the patterns and refusing to meet your eyes. “Still sucks. Still feel shitty”

“You should try and talk to her now” You suggest, sending him a small hopeful smile. “She’s alone in her room. It will probably be better to talk to her alone, it’s easier to be honest with each other then”

“Maybe”

“Jeno…” You frown, nudging him to capture his attention and he looks up to meet your eyes. You gesture to his head. “What’s going on up there?”

“I love her” He admits, sighing softly. “I love her so much that I’m afraid that if I go to her room right now to try and talk, I’ll say something stupid and we’ll end up on a break again. I don’t want to lose her… she’s mine, you know?”

You nod your head slowly. “Yeah”

Jeno goes silent for a moment. He stares down at his hands, scratching at the skin around his nails. You could see that he feels worried, his head filling with nothing but thoughts of Miwoo and you reach across the table to comfortingly pat his shoulder.

The second he feels your touch, he snaps out of his head, clearing his throat and adjusting himself in his seat. He leans on the table, resting his chin on his hand as he looks at you.

“How was your day with Jaemin?”

“It was fine” You say, starting to nervously fiddle with your fingers. “We went to the 7 Dream cafe, we spoke to Jisung for a bit…” You pause, wondering if you should tell him about what happened between you and Jaemin. He has to know, he’s his best friend. “Jaemin, uh… He told me about Eunbin”

“He told you?” Jeno gapes, his hand dropping to the table in shock. “He told you about Eunbin? Like, everything?”

“Yeah” You nod your head.

“Is he okay?” You instantly notice the way Jeno’s body tenses up and you frown, wanting to question why he’s having such a reaction but he beats you to it. “He hasn’t spoken about her in six months… god, he shuts down completely even if something reminds him of her… I can’t believe he opened up. Is he alright?”

“I mean, I think so?” Jeno doesn’t seem impressed with the answer. “He was quiet after we talked about it, which is normal, but he still walked me home and he still, uh…” You pause, heat creeping up your neck as you gulp at the image of Jaemin kissing you before you went inside. “He said his goodbyes”

“Nothing else?”

You shake your head and Jeno sighs, leaning back in his seat with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth in deep thought. The way Jeno’s acting makes you feel uneasy, your leg nervously shaking beneath the table and your fingers fiddling in your lap. Your mind’s racing with multiple thoughts and scenarios that it makes your heart start to beat faster, the sound too loud in your ears.

You subtly try to calm yourself down, steading your breathing and repeatedly telling yourself that everything is fine, everything is going to be okay and that there was nothing to worry about but you’re too far deep in your head that you fail to realise that Jeno’s standing up from his seat ready to leave, shoving his phone into his pocket.

“I’m heading home” Jeno tells you and you’re abruptly pulled from your inner thoughts, head snapping upwards to look up at Jeno.

“You’re leaving?”

“I want to see Jaemin” He explains, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “He, uh, he got really down after him and Eunbin broke up… I want to make sure he’s okay”

“Yeah, okay, I get it” You nod your head in understanding but you call out Jeno’s name before he makes his leave. “Can I tell you something that’s been bugging me just for a few seconds?”

Jeno nods, a look of concern spreading across his face. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just that—” You pause to sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. “When Mia came up to me that day, she told me that Eunbin and Jaemin never ended things on bad terms. But when Jaemin was explaining everything to me earlier, it seemed like they did”

“It’s two sides to everything. That’s two different perspectives to what happened that night. Eunbin probably thinks it never ended on bad terms and that they’re fine because she was able to go off and do whatever shit she wanted to do with a huge smile on her face, while Jaemin was left behind with nothing” Jeno explains to you and you’re surprised how much it makes sense after being confused for long. “He was hurt. The girl that he loved just… gone”

“That’s awful” You whisper, your heart twisting painfully for Jaemin and you wanted to go to him, to comfort him again and to apologise as much as you possibly could for making him talk about something so upsetting and brutal.

You wanted to ask if you could come with him to see Jaemin but you also didn’t want to intrude, knowing that Jeno would be the best at comforting his best friend at this moment… Besides, you wouldn’t even know what to do if you walked into their home and saw Jaemin upset.

The thought alone makes you feel angry, but why?

“I’ll go tell the boys that I’m leaving” Jeno informs you and you hum, sending him a short lipped smile when his hand pats the back of your head in a way of saying goodbye and you watch as he slips out of the kitchen.

You shortly follow behind, leaning against the doorframe just as Renjun emerges from Haru’s room. Jeno stands beside him, neck craning downwards to mutter something in his ears and Renjun’s eyes flicker over to you for a brief second before looking straight ahead, nodding to whatever Jeno’s whispering in his ear.

Jeno bids everyone a small goodbye once he shoves his feet into his shoes, leaving the apartment without another word. Renjun stays put, staring at the front door for a couple of seconds before slowly turning on his heel, making his way back to Haru’s room silently and you pull a face at how unusually quiet he’s being.

“Do you want to watch a movie with us?” Yangyang questions you from his position on the sofa, looking over at you with hope filled eyes and you suck in a deep breath, putting on your best fake smile as you nod.

“Yeah” You try to push the worrying thoughts out of your head. “Sure”

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

you: hey you: i dont have classes today :) you: do u wanna do smth with me [read at 8:04am]

⋯⋯⋯

you: we can go get breakfast you: jisung said that kun is working today so we can finally get those pancakes lol [read at 9:00am]

⋯⋯⋯

you: ok or not [read at 9:32am]

…jaemin is typing …jaemin is typing …jaemin is typing

you: ???? [read at 9:50am]

⋯⋯⋯

you: jaemin are u ok you: ??

jaemin: come here jaemin: the house jaemin: please

“Where are you rushing off too?” Miwoo asks curiously as you emerge from your room in a hurry, almost tripping over your own feet but you catch yourself, placing a hand on the wall to balance yourself as you shove your sock covered feet into your shoes. She eyes your appearance with furrowed brows, pursing her lips together. “That doesn’t look very ‘breakfast attire’… where are you going?”

“Jaemin’s” You answer, not even bothering to tie up your laces as you grab your jacket from the coat rack, thrusting your arms through the sleeves.

“Wait, wha— I thought we were going for breakfast?!”

“You and Haru can go on ahead, I’ll meet you there” You tell her, immediately opening and closing the door behind yourself without hearing whatever she had to say next. You wrap your arms around your body to keep you warm as the cold air nips at your bare legs, mentally cursing for not getting changed into something more appropriate but you hardly cared once you got that message from Jaemin.

It was ominous, it made you feel uneasy. It made you frustrated at first, seeing how he was reading and ignoring your messages, making you think you had done something wrong but now you’re worried, wondering why he wanted you at his house so quickly. Was he in trouble? Did something happen between him and the boys?

You whip your phone out of your pocket, pulling up Jeno’s contact.

you: jeno you: are u at ur house

jeno: um no??? jeno: me hyuck & yang are at college we finish early like at 10 i think jeno: renjuns with shotaro idk where and jaems at home jeno: why

you: jaemin is home alone??

jeno: yeah

you: have u spoken to him today

jeno: ??? obviously jeno: ur weird lol jeno: i gtg we’ll meet up later for breakfast :)

you: wait jeno [delivered]

“Fuck” You speak through gritted teeth, shoving your phone back into your pocket and breaking out into a light sprint, your heart pounding against your chest.

It doesn’t take long to reach their house, coming to a stop to catch your breath and rubbing at your chest, and you go to reach for your phone to let Jaemin know that you’re outside before you pause, spotting an unfamiliar vehicle parked in the driveway.

You slowly stand up straight, eyeing the white jeep in confusion. You’ve never seen this jeep before. Nothing about it seemed familiar to you and it bugged you. Did any of them learn how to drive and not say anything? Did this car belong to Jaemin? Maybe this is why he wanted you to come over…

You walk to the front door, not being able to tear your eyes away from the jeep and you grip the door handle, allowing yourself inside the house. You listen out for any noises as you kick off your shoes, pushing them to the side nonchalantly but you do a double take, noticing another pair of shoes already in place.

You would’ve guessed that the white sneakers would’ve belonged to any of the boys if it wasn’t for the messily painted blue butterflies and green aliens on the sides. A weird combination, but you actually liked it.

Stepping further into the house, you start to hear something move in the kitchen and you make your way towards the sound, expecting to see Jaemin completely fine and waiting for you but you stumble over your own feet in shock, catching yourself on the doorframe as you stare with wide eyes at the girl sitting at the kitchen island.

She doesn’t notice you yet, too focussed on the breakfast bagel in one hand and her phone in the other, her thumb tapping against the screen. The first thing you notice was her smile, so sweet and bright that it reaches her eyes that seem to be filled with nothing but happiness, her face shows it too.

Her hair is long, cascading so messily yet prettily down her shoulders while her bangs are perfectly styled against her forehead. Her attire: a green knitted sweater vest with a white shirt beneath and some baggy jeans made you feel jealous, wanting to be able to look so good in something so simple.

But it was the necklace that made you freeze, unable to form a sentence or to even make your presence known. Eunbin, it reads in fancy silver writing. That’s Eunbin…

The second she turns her head and her eyes meet yours, you’re starstruck. She is beautiful. Her face is hardly covered in any source of makeup. A natural beauty… you understand why Jaemin was so smitten by her.

“Hello” Eunbin greets you with a smile, her voice so soft and velvety. She puts her breakfast bagel down on a place and grabs a napkin to wipe her hands, fully turning to face you in her seat.

Your throat seems dry and you’re aware you probably look like an idiot just staring but you can’t form a sentence, too stunned by the girl sitting a few arm lengths away from you.

“Hey” Your voice cracks once you greet her back and you cringe at yourself, clearing your throat just as Eunbin gets out of her seat to come towards you, still smiling as she reaches out with her hand outstretched.

“I’m Eunbin” She introduces herself. “You must be Y/N, right? I’ve heard a lot about you, it’s great to finally get to meet you in person”

“Oh” You struggle to find the right words to say as you respectfully shake her hand, a million questions running through your mind but you can’t find your voice, struggling to believe that the girl you had been so curious about is now standing right in front of you.

You hate how awkward and out of place you feel right now, taking a quick glance down at your own attire and you wish that you had decided on a much nicer outfit other than some shorts and a sweatshirt that didn’t even belong to you.

“Jaemin’s upstairs, if you’re wondering where he is” Eunbin tells you as she walks back to her seat, taking a quick bite out of her breakfast table before pointing at a coffee carrier. She covers her mouth as she speaks. “I bought some coffee. Please, take one if you’re thirsty”

“I’m okay, thank you” You dismiss, finally being able to move your feet as you step further into the kitchen. Eunbin gestures for you to sit down opposite her and you feel obliged too, slowly sitting down in the chair with your hands folded in your lap. You bite your inner cheek harshly. “How… how do you know my name?”

Eunbin meets your eyes and chuckles softly. “I, uh, I knew you previously but I recently saw you on Jaemin’s instagram. You hang out with the boys and that’s where I knew you from the first time, I saw you and your girl friends around a lot when I used to be here. But I flew in early this morning and when I came to see him, Jaemin explained to me that you would be over soon and I’ve been excited to actually meet you and talk to you”

Her answer seems so genuine and real. You couldn’t get over how nicely she was speaking to you. You had doubts in the back of your mind, wondering if it was going to be a ‘calm before the storm’ situation but she proved you wrong.

God, why was she so fucking nice? You wanted her to be evil. You wanted her to hate your guts so you had an excuse to hate hers for what she did to Jaemin.

“Flew in early?” You fake confusion, the nail of your thumb scratching at your palm anxiously. “Where have you been?”

“Oh!!” She beams excitingly, quickly unlocking her phone and tapping her camera album app with urgency. “I’ve been in New Yor—”

“Hey” Your head snaps in the direction of the voice, seeing Jaemin stand in the doorway. Your heart falls into your stomach as you see his face, complexion pale and eyes wide as he struggles to fully look at Eunbin, keeping his attention on you. His body seems tense as he enters the kitchen, bare feet padding in your direction, keeping his head low until he reaches you.

Once your hand instinctively reaches out to touch his arm, Jaemin relaxes. He allows himself to lean his full body weight onto you, his fingers gripping the back of the sweatshirt you’re wearing and the corner of his lips switch up into a short smile as he realises that it’s one of his sweatshirts. It calms him, seeing you here right now in his clothes. His heart warmed at the thought of how fast you came over when he asked, the tips of his fingers stroking your back in gratitude.

He finally manages to raise his head higher and peer over at Eunbin who’s already looking his way. She smiles when she meets his eyes and Jaemin gulps, blinks a few times and then looks back down, focussing his attention on your hands that rest in your lap, eager to slip his fingers between yours and leave.

“I’m sorry if I’m making things awkward but…” Eunbin pauses, pointing between the two of you with a brow raised. “Are you guys, like, a thing? Or?”

Neither of you speak which piques Eunbin’s curiosity. Your mouth feels dry again and Jaemin tenses up beside you, the two of you unable to find your voices. How can you tell someone that you’re sleeping with their ex-boyfriend in front of them? But she’s an ex-girlfriend in the first place, it’s okay. Your body buzzes with anxiety once again and you internally groan, hating the fact that you’re having this inner dilemma with yourself

You clear your throat. “We’re—”

“—We’re sleeping together” Jaemin tells her and your mouth snaps shut, eyes almost bulging out of your head as you stare at Eunbin. What the fuck! Jaemin’s hand slips up your back, resting on your shoulder instead. “We’re exclusive”

What the fuck!!!!!!

Your head almost comically turns to look at Jaemin who wears nothing but a smile on his face, dropping his eye into a wink when the two of you make eye contact. You stare at him incredulously, fully not understanding why the fuck he would tell her that.

You slowly turn back to Eunbin and laugh awkwardly, refusing to meet her eyes as you reach for one of the coffees and gulp down it’s contents so quickly that your throat hurts and you’re losing air to breathe, but you would do anything to not have this conversation right now.

“Oh” That’s all Eunbin says as she glances between you both, clearly not expecting that answer. “How long?”

“A mont—“

You clear your throat loudly, interrupting Jaemin who looks down at you confused. You give him your best fake apologetic smile. “Sorry, I had something stuck in the back of my throat… Anyways, I’m late, gotta go, bye”

The second you stand from your seat, Jaemin grips your hand with a frown. He senses that you’re feeling uncomfortable and panicky, his thumb grazing over the top of your hand in hopes to calm you down but you struggle, especially when Eunbin is sitting there and watching you both.

He pulls your attention from Eunbin when his hand boldly cups your cheek so you can look at him, only him. Your face warms at the sudden acting, not wanting to do this type of thing in front of his ex-girlfriend but your worries fade once you see the expression in his eyes. He’s scared? Why was he scared?

“Where are you going?” He questions with a whisper, his voice now small and frail, a big difference to a few seconds ago. “Don’t… don’t leave”

Your heart pangs in your chest as you realise that he doesn’t want you to leave him alone with Eunbin. He’s scared to be alone with Eunbin. You frown, turning to look over at Eunbin who watches you both with a frown on her face, nervously playing with the bracelet on her wrist.

“We’re going to be late to get breakfast with everyone” You tell him and a look of relief washes over Jaemin’s face as he notices you’re going to take him with you and his hand slips down from the cheek to grab your hand.

“Wait…” Eunbin speaks up before either of you get a chance to tell her you both need to go. She rubs the back of her neck and a nervous smile spreads across her lips as you both look at her. “I just got here… I haven’t seen you in months and you’ve been avoiding me. Can we please just talk? Please?”

“I…” Jaemin sighs heavily, running his fingers through his hair. He feels conflicted now, seeing the sad look on Eunbin’s face crushes his heart but with your hand wrapped around his and body brushing against his arm, he wants you. He wants to leave with you.

“I promise I won’t be long” Eunbin promises him. “Just for an hour… I want to talk to you”

Jaemin’s silent, staring down at the ground with his brows pulled together. His mind overcrowds with confusing thoughts that give him a headache and he bites down hard on his tongue to try and focus on the pain instead of the voices in his head but he struggles.

Closure, a voice in his head. This could be closure.

He slowly starts to nod his head. “Okay, fine. I’ll stay”

You almost get whiplash at how fast Jaemin changes his mind, not even daring to meet his eyes as you feel him looking at you. You ignore him, straightening up your back and sending a smile Eunbin’s way.

“It was nice meeting you”

“You too” She smiles back. “I hope we can see each other again”

You nod your head, bidding her a quick goodbye before you remove your hand from Jaemin’s grasp and walk out of the kitchen, heading towards the front door, desperate to get out of this house but a tug on your wrist prevents you from going any further and your back presses up against the door.

Jaemin’s in front of you, panic in his eyes from how fast you’re trying to leave without saying anything to him. Why are you mad? Do you even feel mad? Is it disappointment? He hates not knowing what you’re thinking and you hate the feelings that you’re feeling.

His hands come up to gently touch your face, pushing the strand of hairs behind your ears neatly as he tries to lower his head down to meet your eyes. His breath fans across your face when he leans closer and you start to shake your head for a reason that's unknown but with the hand that’s on your face, he cradles your jaw to lift up your head before pressing his mouth to yours in a slow kiss.

You feel your body relax and you sigh into the kiss, hands gripping the material of his shirt to bring him as close to you as you could and he moves forward, his body flush against yours. Your arms slide around his shoulders, fingers tugging at the hair on the back of his head as you deepen the kiss. Your lips move slowly but it’s so desperate and yearning, neither of you wanting the other to slip away and when Jaemin’s arms slither around your waist, you realise what’s going on and who’s in the room next door.

You reluctantly pull away before you allow yourself to get lost in the moment and Jaemin breathes heavily as he stares at you, leaning forward so his forehead rests against your own.

“I didn’t want to stay… but I need to do this for me, for closure” Jaemin explains to you, hands rubbing the bottom of your back. “I need to tell her how I felt. I need her to understand that I—”

“You don’t have to explain it” You cut him off with a smile, still playing with the hair at the back of his head. “It’s okay”

Jaemin nods grafetully, kissing your lips again one last time before he lets you go to open the front door for you. You exhale deeply and you turn to leave, wrapping your arms around yourself as you walk into the cold air.

“Hey, Y/N?” Jaemin calls out your name as he remains standing at the door. You hum as you look at him and Jaemin bites down on his bottom lip, seeming to have an inner struggle. “I…uh…”

“What?”

“I…” Jaemin swallows thickly, letting out a chuckle and shaking his head, a smile creeping onto his lips. “I appreciate you”

Your heart warms at that, a shy smile present on your features and you go to say something back until you see Eunbin walking up behind him, peering over his shoulder and he jumps at the proximity. The smile slowly slips away as you notice the way Eunbin looks at him before she looks at you and she politely waves goodbye before Jaemin closes the door, leaving you outside alone.

〉〉• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •〈〈

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊. 𝐈 𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐈𝐒𝐄

[nct-fic-recss]

The end of an era 😔

Boom (M). Final.

Preview: Haechan thinks he’s entered a dream. The air in the rooms thick enough to grab. Foggy, blurring his eyes with only bits of light breaking through the closed curtains.

“Bun?”

A shattered cry sounds in response. A hybrid pouncing off the bed on all fours. His members left passed out in different corners behind you.

“Shit…what happened?” Haechan asks, alarmed. His eyes large, taking in the sight of destruction.

“Haechan! Haechan!” Tear filled eyes stare up at him. A sense of God-like power dizzies his head. Smirk growing as he pets your soaked furry ears

“I’m here baby.”

Pairing: 00’line x female bunny hybrid reader

Word Count: 7k+

Genre: Hybrid AU, PWP, idolverse, M/F, a little M/M, smut- a lot of smut, series

Smut Warning: heat sex, multiple partners, sex toys, oral, rimming(m/f receiving), choking, slapping, fingering, praising, degradation, double penetration, switching, its all smut….and so much love🥴

a/n: thank you for 5000+ followers💙 and thank you so so so much for all of the love/comments/likes/reblogs/messages and constant support you have given this series💙

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 |

“Jaemin! Jeno! Bun needs us right now!!” Renjun’s quick to yank a drying towel off a hook on the bathroom door. Running down the hall cupping himself in search of his members.

Jeno trips out from his bedroom, the backs of his hands covering his eyes. Yawning, rolling out of bed landing on the floor in surprise. Renjun’s shouting waking him from a nap. Jaemin appears not a second late, entering the hallway just in time to catch Renjun’s bare ass as he wraps the towel around his hips.

“Woah!” Jaemin’s brows wiggle, dipping his neck to sneak a peak of his friends smooth bottom. “What are you two getting up to huh?”

“Stop fucking around!” Renjun’s quick to snap. Towel fisted at the front of his crotch in one hand. Using his free one to smack the two men across their chests. “Bun’s in heat!”

“What?!” Jaemin and Jeno respond in unison. Jaws left hung, quickly drawn to Renjun’s bedroom at the end of the hall. Mewled sounds of pain echo around them. Jaemin the first to shove Renjun out of his way, charging into his bedroom.

“Why didn’t you get me sooner!” He’s already ripping off his clothes in a rush to the bedroom. “My bun bun!”

“Hey!“ Jeno charges in behind him. Both coming to a stop when they get a look at you. Everything around your figure adding to the view of heaven. Light beams across your skin illuminating the trickles of sweat. Thighs glossy covered with more slick than either of them have ever seen. Their jaws hang open, eyes fluttering to the sounds of your moaned cries.

Renjun sighs behind them with his phone in hand. With a nudge of encouragement he pushes them forward. Sternly ordering them- “Help her. I have to call Haechan. He better answer.”

Jeno leaps at the chance, on the bed in less than a second. Your eyes fly open, sparkling full of wonder. The heat making everything feel light, filling your brain with a surreal high. Your hand lifts for him, everything passing by like slow-motion. Jeno swallowing down a thick breath of air passing down his throat like molasses.

“Bun baby. You’re so beautiful.” He can’t help but gush. Burying his cheek against your palm. Kissing the inside of your wrist as a sound of pain emits from the back of his throat. Everything he imagined your heat to be like couldn’t compare to the feelings exploding between your bodies.

Jaemin moves around behind you on his knees, helping you sit up with your back laid on his chest. He sets your ears back, adorning your forehead with kisses. Each one placing every emotion of love he feels. More than anything they both intended to make sure you felt good, and know just how special you have been to their lives.

“Daddy?” You ask, clearly sucked into a hedonistic haze. Jeno snaps his thumb.

“She means Renjun, he’ll be back bun don’t worry. We’ll help you.” Jeno finishes with a kiss. Your arms draping around his neck to keep him close, turning your bodies until you’re on top. Quick to adjust him to press to your core, circling your hips until you catch the tip of his cock between your folds. “Bun, what’re…shit!”

Jeno’s eyes wrinkle shut, smacking his head back. Pussy sucking him down, your hips ruthlessly fucking him. Rocking the bed under your bodies. Jaemin clicks his tongue annoyed, he was supposed to go first. Rolling his eyes he comes in behind you. Whispering into your ear to go faster, even suggesting you ride Jeno until he cries like a baby.

“Yes yes!” You agree with the dirty words Jaemin mumbles. Hands grip your waist assisting your ministration’s. Jeno shouting under you, flailing his arms hopelessly. Cock only half hard when you started, heat rushing to his dick leaving him stupified.

“That’s it bun bun. You fuck him like you own him. He’s yours to claim, yours to ruin. Do whatever you want with him.” Jaemin drabbles on. Biting and licking your shoulder to control his jealousy. Gaining a sick sense of power knowing you’re listening to him.

“Ugh! Fuck! Slow down!” Jeno whimpers. His cheeks burning pink, eyes watering up beautifully. A painful pleasure streaking his features. “I’m gonna cum!”

“Keep going, get his cum bun bun. You want it don’t you?” Jaemin encourages. Thumbs rubbing the dips in your waist. Thrusting between the crevice of your ass to egg you on more.

“Yes yes! Jeno! Please please! Need it! Need cum!” Your mouth hangs open. Crying, grinding down. Taking all of Jeno’s dick, fucking him in earnest. “Cum cum cum!”

Jeno yells, hitting the bed at his sides. Veins on his neck and chest protruding. His stomach muscles twitching, belly button sinking in to his spine. His eyes fly open watching you bounce above him. Rough slaps of your breasts hitting the tops of your ribs the only sound he hears. White heat filling his brain, he twists up biting back another scream. Cum shooting out, leaking down his length. Fucked into a pool of mess where your bodies meet.

“Bun bun…ah fuck!” Jeno arches forward crying out. His chest rises faster and faster, lungs crushed down by some invisible weight. Crying the more you fuck him until you finally cum. Jaemin cheering you on with kisses and pats on your head.

“Jeno…Jeno Jeno ahh..” you croak out. Lifting off his cock letting out a flow of cum and slick. Pussy landing on his abs, firm and jolting under your boiling lower half. You start grinding down, pleasuring yourself against his flat washboard stomach.

Jeno’s head shakes, reaching to grab onto something. Wrists ending up locked in your grip like handcuffs. Overpowering him as you hold down his arms to his chest. Working your hips with speed. His stomach glows with obscene amounts of slick. Easily sliding yourself up and down, clit catching on the dips of his stomach muscles. Tearing a frenzy of lightening fast arousal throughout your chest.

“Fuck that’s so hot..” Renjun pipes in. Standing to the side. Cock twitching back to life much to his surprise. Wondering how he could possibly still go for another round right now.

“Nice of you to join us again.” Jaemin smirks. Moving to the corner of the bed to watch you manhandle Jeno, laughing at how much his friend begs you to stop and keep going.

“Haechan should be here soon.” Renjun mumbles mindlessly. He moves onto the bed, stroking your flexed arm. “Bunny? Baby I’m he-..”

Renjun screams, bright wide eyes targeting him next. Jumping off of Jeno to pounce on him. Suffocating him with kisses, crying ‘daddy daddy daddy’. He falls into shock, losing his balance ending in a similar position to Jeno. Your strength surprising him, expecting you to be weakened by the heat.

“Daddy, need to taste you.” You beg so sweetly. Hoisting him up by his calves. Renjun’s eyes shoot up watching your gaze flicker from soft to hard in the blink of an eye. Tongue plunging inside of his ass shooting his spine rigid straight.

“Oh fuck! Bun! No!” He whines under you. Legs tossed back around his head. Jeno picking himself up, cleaning the sweat free from his face. He moves behind you replacing Jaemin. Delivering a slap to your ass, maybe as payback. Moving your hair to the side, he wraps around your waist. Whispering that you need to really do a good job, show daddy how much you love him.

You nod, working magic with your tongue. Wiggling through the caverns of Renjun’s asshole, sucking around his rim. Biting and slurping his hole until the backs of his eyes are the only thing left to be seen. His neck arches back, hard cock dangling in front of you. Jeno helps you, keeping Renjun pretzeled in place. Allowing you to move freely, sneaking your arm down to snake around his neck. Throat bobbing in your hand, earning a gurgled cry.

“Love you so much daddy.” You whisper in a sugary sweet tone. Massaging his hole like it’s your favorite treat to eat. Giving his neck a good squeeze until your arm shakes.

“Oh bun! Bunny! I’m…’ Renjun convulses, shoving his ass up further into your face. Cock waving between your bodies. The first rope of white cum landing on his stomach. Releasing his neck, you direct his cock, ensuring the rest to land directly in his mouth. His lips hang open, some cum hitting his cheek, tongue, nose. Painting the prettiest picture you’ve ever seen of pure filthy ecstasy.

“Fuck that was..” Jeno rubs his face into your shoulder. Cock hard again after watching you torture Renjun. “You’re too good baby.”

—————————————————————

“I can’t bun….hurts..” Renjun smooths your hand away from his limp cock. Face grimacing when you try to jerk him off.

“But don’t you love me?” Your large teary eyes ignite instant guilt in his gut. Sighing he sits up, having swallowed down his cum, too strung out to be embarrassed about any of it.

“We all love you bun baby.” Jeno kisses you, moving back to lay against the headboard. Motioning for you to sit on his lap. Cock hard and enticing you to crawl forward, straddling his lap.

“I love you the most.” Jaemin sits back next to Jeno sighing, holding his length at the base. Blue balled watching you fuck like a wild animal.

Renjun kisses across your upper back, licking the sweat pooled at your nape. Tapping fingers along your rim. Humming when you pulse around him. He gathers up slick to coat his size. Knowing you’re ready to take him again, unsure how long he’ll be able to last this time.

“Where do you want it baby?” Jeno ask, licking across your lips. Noses dragging together, swiping kisses back and forth.

“Both, wanna be full.” You can’t help but whimper. Desperate to feel them rip you open. Craving to break them, to be broken.

“What about me bun bun?” Jaemin widens his eyes, sticking out his lower lip. Swooping in to steal a kiss. Following after him for more. Distracted by his soft lips while Jeno swipes his length between your wet wells. Large cockhead pushing your folds side to side, circling at your entrance. Renjun working two fingers around your rim to soften his efforts.

With another peck, you leave your tongue hanging out. Jaemin’s thumb pushing it down, getting a look at your tonsils.

“Want me there?” His brow lifts cockily. Moving to stand, holding onto the headboard behind Jeno with one hand. Smacking the tip of his cock on your tongue. Precum flowing down your throat making you gasp and swallow.

Jaemin shoving in before you can scream. Jeno breaching your entrance managing to get half of his size inside of you. Renjun holds onto the backs of your shoulders, biting down on his bottom lip to suppress sounds of anguish. Cock screaming at him that he can’t, heart beating faster disagreeing.

“That’s it bun, swallow all of it.” Jaemin groans. Moving to hold the back of your head, thrusting his cock in inch by inch. Teeth scratching down the veins pulsing on his thick cock. You break into cry, overwhelmed and over filled. Renjun finally pushing inside, making your ass spread open around him. Crooning behind you in a painful satisfying way.

Jeno slips down the headboard cupping your hips. Knees bending to support him, persistent with his movements. Pussy opening up around him too slow to handle. He thrust once, twice, forcing the rest of his length in. Nose scrunching up, eyes shut, whining a helpless little sound.

“Fuck, she’s gonna make me cum too fast again. Pussies too good baby.” Jeno murmurs. Slapping your hips, making you shudder. Pushing yourself to go down on their cocks. Trying to not gag around Jaemin’s length. Never missing a beat as he keeps fucking your throat. Cockhead hitting your tonsils with each thrust. Grunting, entire body straining, thigh muscles flexed out.

“Doing so good for us bun bun. Keep sucking, get my balls baby.” Jaemin instructs you, taking a hold of your cheeks. Sliding you back until his dick pops free. Wet sack gliding up your chin, dropping the warm cum filled balls inside of your mouth. He works them in and out, nodding and rubbing thumbs over your sweaty tear stained cheeks.

“Just like that. Perfect slut for me.” Jaemin smiles down at you like you hung the moon. Watching you work your mouth around him with pure love. Chest and cock both beating at a fast pace, load nearly bursting at the thought.

Unable to voice anything with your lips occupied you take control. Thrusting back into Renjun to get him moving faster. Grabbing onto Jaemin’s thigh with one hand and Jeno’s chest with your other. Shooting vibrations throughout Jaemin’s cock as you moan out screams. Stretched open, cocks rubbing inside all your holes deliciously. Jeno and Renjun hitting at the same time. Seperated only by a thin wall of skin, able to feel each other as they fuck you harder.

“Feel so good.” Renjun whines into your neck. Trailing kisses down your spine. Licking up, burying his teeth into your shoulder. His stamina weakened, agreeing with Jeno he won’t last much longer. The two determined to get you off more than themselves.

Jaemin the first to cum, the visual before him too much to handle. Slapping your face softly watching white liquid gather in your mouth. Bubbling around your lips when you close and open up again to show him you swallowed. He sighs bending over to kiss your ear. Falling back to lazy position on the bed. Ready for a nap.

Renjun holds your ass further apart, pushing his dick in past your tight ring of muscles until he bottoms out. Lower lip pulled in trying to contain his pitiful scream. Unable to hold back any longer. His cum drips out, covering his thighs and pelvic area. Shushing your whines with extra kisses. Massaging your lower back before he pulls out.

Jeno waits, giving Renjun time to move away. Using the few minutes to regain his bearings. Digging his toes into the bed, he clasps your hips with a bruising grip.

“Always so tight for me. Making me cum so fast baby.” Jeno speaks up, vocals strained. Pulling you to lay on his chest. Starting to finally fuck you at a brutal pace, merciless thrusts slapping your bottom on his thighs.

“Jeno! Fuck!” You barely manage to get out. Biting at his pec, sucking his nipple like a baby. Seeking something to control your screaming. Jeno slamming you down his length, smacking your ass with each powerful thrust. A renewed vigor snapping his hips up ruthlessly.

“W-want…Jeno..” you let out a broken cry on his chest. Walls tightening down on his length. Burying your face and screaming between his chest as you cum. Hard enough to make your body shaking head to toe. Losing all the strength left in you.

“Fuck y-yes. F-Fill you up with cum, like my angel deserves.” Jeno stutters a bit. Finally exploding inside of you. Renjun’s cum spilling from your ass on him. Mixing into a puddle of his cum and your slick.

Both light headed, Jeno rubs your back up and down. Cock softening inside of you causing a bigger mess of cum between your bodies. Too weak as you take deep breaths. Eyes falling shut, temperature cooling enough to let you relax.

———————————————————-

Haechan finally arrives, having to scream at the taxi driver to hurry the fuck up.

Muffled cries and heavy choked breaths speed his steps down the hall. Nearly busting down the door to Renjun’s bedroom. Dropping the bag in his hold down, clattering loudly as devices hit each other.

Haechan thinks he’s entered a dream. The air in the rooms thick enough to grab. Foggy, blurring his eyes with only bits of light breaking through the closed curtains.

“Bun?”

A shattered cry sounds in response. A hybrid pouncing off the bed on all fours. His members left passed out in different corners of the bed.

“Shit…what happened?” Haechan asks, alarmed. His eyes large, taking in the sight of destruction.

“Haechan! Haechan!” Tear filled eyes stare up at him. A sense of God-like power dizzies his head. Smirk growing as he pets your soaked furry ears

“I’m here baby.” The sly gleam in his eyes only grows brighter.

“Need! Need need!” You grasp his crotch. Going on nonsensically about how Renjun won’t get hard anymore. Jeno passed out after you fucked him, and Jaemin just came.

“Woah woah.” Haechan crouches down taking a hold of your wrist. “Shhh shh baby. You know better than to touch me before I tell you to.”

He licks the tip of your nose, moving you to lay on the floor. Clicking his tongue noisily as he takes in your wrecked pornographic appearance. Litters of bruising appearing over your hips and thighs. Ass beating brightly in shade due to multiple spanks. Pussy lewd and destroyed, still wanting more.

Haechan tugs away his jacket, throwing it aside to some chair. Bending forward sucking down a long breath of your scent. Smelling like a pure feral horny slut, exactly what he wants.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ve been waiting for this.” His tongue slinks between your folds. Slurping up the outrageous amounts of slick that won’t stop bubbling out of your hole. He licks with expertise, spreading his tongue over the expanse of your cunt. Obscene sounds of gurgling spit with each lavv of his tongue. “So good bun, my yummy baby.”

“Haechannie..” you wail, lifting your bottom up to chase after his mouth. Haechan ever the one to tease, making you work for the pleasure you seek.

“I know I know.” He pouts. Lips shiny and sticky with leftover cum from who knows where. Talking down to you like an owner babying their crying pet. He reaches for his bag pulling out the first thing to meet his fingers. Setting the end of a pink dildo between his teeth. He lays on his stomach, rubbing the bruising over your thighs soothingly. Eyes on the prize as he pushes the toy inside of you, bracing the pace with a harsher bite down on the rubber.

“Haechan!” You squirm, shooting up to sit on your elbows. Head dropping back in a moan when you see him between your thighs. Fucking the dildo in and out of you at a rapid pace. Slicking collecting around the toy as he goes on. Streaking down his chin in a mess with spit pouring from the sides of his lips.

Haechan mumbles around the rubber, lips pulling at it as he speaks- “My nasty horny baby.”

“Fuck!” You fall back. Haechan getting on his knees hunched over pushing your thighs back. Ass and lower back elevated off the ground as he fucks you faster. A lewd vision before you. The bottom of his face drenched and dripping. Pink dildo brightening the reds of his plump lips. Huffing, he shoves the dildo inside watching you pulse around it. Lips wrap around your clit sucking, rolling his tongue back and forth. Leaving you trembling and thrusting against his chin. The toy knocking inside with every smack of your cunt on his face.

Haechan spits on your core, kissing at your bundle of nerves repeatedly- “Cum for me baby.”

You nod manically, crippled for a minute as hot waves of pleasure take over. Shaking under the power of Haechan’s mouth. The toy pushed out of your cunt, convulsing grip loosening. Landing on the floor in a loud wet plop leaving slick stains behind.

“Fuck. That was so dirty. Bad bunny, who's gonna clean that up huh?” Haechan tsks. Slapping down on your pussy, splashing bursts of slick out the more he does. Sending pained shivers up your spine. Leaving you crawling away, burning your sweaty back along the floor.

“When did you get here?” Jaemin’s head peaks from above. Hanging off the bed squinting, bed head hair pointing everywhere.

“Missed me bunny boy?” Haechan smirks. Adding a wiggle of his brow. Stroking Jaemin’s cheek with wet fingers. Gliding his thumb across the others lower lip. “I’ll take care of you too.”

Jaemin spats his fingers away, licking the residue of slick left behind. “Fuck you. Stop being mean to my bunny.”

“Our bun.” Haechan rolls his eyes. Grabbing onto the bedding to lift himself up. Jaemin too quick, pouncing on his upper half leaving him trapped. Bent over the edge of the bed, jean clad ass left vulnerable.

“Get him bun bun!” Jaemin laughs. Wiggling on Haechan as he struggles. You stare with confusion, pulling up on your knees with a hold on the backs of Haechan’s meaty thighs. “Take his pants off baby. Show him who’s boss.”

“Me? Am I boss?” You question. Jaemin melting under the look of disbelief you give him. He nods, settling his groin on the back of Haechan’s neck. Helping you with swift moves to remove his friend’s bottoms.

“Oooh!!” You bounce, perking up slapping Haechan’s bare ass. The man letting out a hissed shout. Eagerly spreading him open ready to give him a special kiss. Jaemin scoffs, softly pushing your head back with a finger on your forehead.

“Get up bun bun. Slap him, he likes it. Haechannie told me a secret. Said he dreams of you slapping his ass until it’s black and blue.” Jaemin smirks. Muffling Haechan’s protests further by pushing his weight down on the back of his head.

“Slap him?” You stand. Letting Jaemin pull you in closer until your hips are pressed to Haechan’s ass. The man’s feet kicking when your wet cunt rubs on his balls. Jaemin’s brows jump up and down mischievously. Lifting up and dropping down on Haechan’s perked cheeks. Landing impactful mean slaps, leaving red burning handprints on his fleshy bottom.

“Jaemin! You dick!” Haechan curls, arching into the bed. Another hand, a smaller hand smacking down on his other cheek. Lighter but still enough to sting. Drawing the sack between his thighs up in excitement. Visualizing the pleased look taking over your cute face as you watch his ass bloom under your hits.

“Oooh he really likes it baby.” Jaemin smiles evily. Kneading Haechan’s hot meaty buttcheek in his larger palm. Large enough to cup his entire ass.

“I like it too!” Haechan’s moans make you dizzy with hunger. You bend down taking a deep bite of the top of his ass. Round mound taunting you with each jiggle, too delectable to not give extra attention. Haechan cries, shins hitting the bed frame. Cock jumping, spewing out precum. Wishing he could hold onto the base of his cock to not prematurely cum. He slaps at the bed, begging Jaemin to let him go. Screaming how he can’t take anymore.

“That’s right.” Jaemin shifts off of him. Rubbing and squeezing his waist as he pulls off his shirt. “Who’s your daddy now bitch.”

Haechan grunts, sneering, shooting Jaemin a dirty look over his shoulder. Slithering away and ripping off the rest of his shirt. Leaving the three of you now all exposed. He looks back and forth, wondering how he suddenly became the prey. Both yours and Jaemin’s eyes carrying feral lust.

Haechan lunges at Jaemin, tackling him down on the bed, the two struggling back and forth with each other, nearly knocking into Jeno’s laid out figure. Jaemin stopping on top of Haechan when your whine breaks.

“Oh shit bun.” Haechan squeaks, pushing Jaemin off. Reaching out and manhandling you against his chest. He kisses the side of your face apologizing between. Squishing your cheeks together, easing you into his lap. Hard length poking it’s way in-between your thighs. Slick coating over him quickly making it easy to prod into your entrance. Hot sex enveloping the tip of his cock leaving you both gasping into each other’s mouths.

Jaemin crawls forward, sitting on the backs of his feet. Large palms scooping the pits of your knees. Intently watching Haechan fuck you open on his cock.

Hooded eyes land on him. Haechan throwing him a sultry look from behind you. His hands cupping under your breasts. Tweaking your hardened nipples between two fingers. Your neck falling back spineless, sighing in relief. Haechan’s fat cock satiating the building arousal in your tummy.

Jaemin thinks it over for a minute. Watching you come undone, leaking slick down to Haechan’s balls. Releasing one of your knees, he scoops a dollop of slick up from the middle of his sack. Sending a chill through all of Haechan’s limbs. Jerking up and fucking all of his size inside of you. Jaemin skims up the underside of his exposed length. Stroking up to find your clit, covering his digits in slick in the process.

Pressing forward he rubs your nub in circular motions. Igniting every one of Haechan’s thrusts, making the room spin around you. Stimulating you from outside and in. Haechan bites at your fluffy ear. Hips bones meeting your ass with loud smacks. Nibbling up the fur, making him feel fuzzy and in love. His nose rubbing through your tangled hair. Dazed by the sweet aroma his bunny always seems to have.

“Nana..” you croon, reaching around Jaemin. Tugging him close in a hug chest to chest. Biting on your upper lip, he sinks in two fingers with Haechan’s cock. Fucking you in unison with his pace. The stretching drags your jaw down, panting for air. “Ah, full. More more!!”

“Bunny wants more? Want that slutty pussy to break don’t you baby?” Haechan mutters. His nose skirting down the side of your cheek. Mumbling the end of his sentence against the corner of your lips. Feeling your head nod stupidly in response. Too lost for words, grinding on his dick and Jaemin’s fingers.

“More, both please please!” You beg. Jaemin’s lips purse together, hard cock throbbing on his pelvic bone. Pulling his digits free, he slabs saliva across his palm. Reaching down to stroke over his cock, gritting back groans.

“I’m gonna..” Jaemin’s raspy tone grabs Haechan’s attention. The two meeting eyes again sharing a quiet nod. Gripping around the base of his length, he stretches you open. Haechan gritting his teeth grunting. Their cocks gliding together in a mess of slick making the slide to easy.

Hot thrumming thick length’s push your cunt as far as you can go. Jaemin hisses a string of curses under his breath. Gliding out half way and delivering a round of thrusts getting you accommodated to the overwhelming stretch.

“You okay bun?” Haechan asks breathlessly. Struggling to meet Jaemin’s thrusts. They end up hitting a different rhythm. Haechan pulling out while Jaemin fucks in.

You nod urgently, shouting wanton needy sounds. Words breaking before you can form them, begging with tears to be bred and fucked.

Jaemin’s nose brushes yours, praising you for doing such a good job. Whispers heating your upper lip as he goes on. Bodies a tangled mess together, working yourself down on their length’s until they bottom out.

“Love you bun, baby” Haechan mutters into your cheek. Faces all smushed together, the three of you surrounded by the smell of sex and sounds of harsh breaths. You turn slightly, nudging Haechan’s nose to find his lips. Jaemin’s mouth chasing after yours landing at the corner of your mouth.

The air stills, letting them pull at your lips in battle. Fighting for the kiss they both want. Their thrusts gain speed at a rapid pace. Haechan collapses back taking you both down with him. Jaemin’s lips landing on his making them both go wide eyed. You groan maneuvering yourself on their cocks. Getting them to hit right where you need it.

Haechan kisses at Jaemin’s lips, biting the bottom one to keep him in place. Both succumbing to how good it all feels. Sharing moans and cries. Jaemin curses when Haechan bites harder, breaking skin and licking away the little cut of blood.

The pain soaring straight to his cock, painting the insides of your walls full of cum. Haechan keeps thrusting, crying under you. Slapping the side of your hip, the cum mixing with slick allowing his cock to slip in and out easily.

“F-fuck!” You wail out. Near ready to pass out as fierce orgasm rips through you. The most intense one so far. Quelling your heat enough to have you relaxing. Haechan using your lifeless body until he cums. Hissing through his teeth when Jaemin’s slips out, cock rubbing down his length, an all too crazy indescribable sensation.

“Bun bun bun, ugh..” Haechan sighs. He lays flat under you. Soothing large palms on the lower part of your stomach. Extended more than usual with all the cum that’s filled you up. Softened dick twitching on his thigh from the thought alone. “Love you so much.”

———————————————————-

“Renjunnie?” You stumble down the hallway. Grabbing onto the wall as you attempt to reach the kitchen. “Daddy?”

A boy with pale skin and black hair stands against the kitchen island. Water bottle in his hold falling, puddling at his feet.

“Holy shit..”

You step closer to him, his mouth gaping. Cheeks lighting up in pink flames taking in your naked figure. Reeking of sex and cum the closer you get. Falling to your knees you look up at him in question. Sliding your palms up his thighs, cupping the evident length of his cock through his sweats.

“Bun?!” Jeno walks in, wearing boxers. Rubbing the backs of his hands over his swelling tired eyes. “Chenle?! What are you doing!”

“I didn’t do anything!” Chenle holds up his hands innocently. “I swear!”

Jeno pats his way into the kitchen, scooping you up. Quietly reprimanding you for being such a thirsty little whore.

“But I want him!!” You whine, cuddling back into Jeno’s chest. He seats you in his lap, kicking your legs open with his knees.

“You know better than that. Don’t be such a slut bun.” Jeno rolls his eyes. Smacking your cheek until you pay attention. “Is he one of your owners??”

Pouting, you whimper shaking your head. “I was bad.”

You wiggle back into Jeno’s lap, feeling his cock twitch. Shooting him large dreamy eyes. “Punish me. Please.”

Jeno lets out a fake sound of disappointment, parting your legs open over his thighs. Chenle sitting across the table watching your core open in amazement.

With a ruthless hold on your cheeks, Jeno forces you to look at Chenle. Rubbing his digits between your wet folds. “Nasty slut, willing to suck anyone's dick now aren’t you?”

“No no! Yours only!” You plead with hips gyrating into his touch. Jeno fingering you open, stroking two inside of you with no problem. Hole loosened up making it easy to fuck you open. Squelching around him embarrassingly loud. Forced to watch Chenle palm over his tenting length. Gnawing at his lip the more your moans fill the room.

All of it too nasty, the sounds of your ass hitting Jeno’s now drenched boxer shorts. Slick gushing out landing on the tiled floor in noisy trickles. Your inner thighs trembling, tits bouncing, angelic face deceitful. A true nymphette falling slave for cock.

Jeno works his hand with speed, intent to make you cum and humiliate yourself. Thumb flicking your clit back and forth to the rhythm of his thrusts.

“You love being watched? My slutty bunny. Wants everyone to see this loose pussy get fucked huh?” Jeno rasps, jerking his fingers inside of you. Long and deep hitting you just right. You grab onto his forearm begging and nodding.

“Yes! More more!”

“You’re nothing but a little toy to fuck and use.” Jeno pounds inside of you, biting your jaw. Chenle groaning from across, digging the heel of his palm in. “No better than some fleshlight full of cum. What a naughty baby.”

Your eyes roll up, shaking in his arms as you cum. Squirting slick past his palm, some landing on Chenle’s sweat pants. Earning desperate grunts. Jeno pulling out only to slap your thigh.

“Bend over, have to make sure Chenle knows how it’s done. Can’t have him thinking my little slut fucks just anyone.” Jeno commands. Helping you stand on wobbly knees. Bending you over on the kitchen table, making sure you face Chenle. Gazes locked on each other.

Jeno bends his knees squatting down pulling open your ass. Tongue sweeping up and down. Screaming and kicking your feet as he begins eating your ass. Jeno making sure to lick everywhere, tongueing every little crevice. Sheathing inside with a stern wiggle, asshole expanding around his long tongue.

Chenle runs hands through his hair, over his face, gulping and shaking. Ready to bust in his pants watching everything. Moans cascade down around him drying his throat. Jeno buried deep between your ass cheeks. Grumbling like a starving fiend. Pulling back to lick his lips clean, planting kisses up and down your crack.

“My bunny. Only mine.” Biting back a smile, he nods to his friend. “Get your own.”

———————————————————

“Nana?” You sound muffled. Face buried in a broad shoulder. Your scent heavy all over, still carrying traces of Jaemin. His low humm follows, kneading your tense sore neck. Lips passing up and down your now dried ear. Having taken time to clean your fur and skin while you slept. Jaemin tips your forehead with his chin. Sliding hands lower to hold your waist. He’s tired, eyes heavy, the lines under more visible than usual.

“Feeling okay bun?” He croaks. A small whisper followed with tender kisses on the top of your head.

You paw at his naked chest, pouting and shaking your head.

“What’s wrong baby?” He asks with a higher tone, laced full of concern. Fingers tapping along your waist in soft comfort.

“Bun bun.”

“Bun bun?” Jaemin’s expression twists up in confusion. Drawing a space between your faces to get a better look at you.

“You didn’t call me Bun bun.” You snicker. Patting at his chest to emphasize a bratty child-like need. A wide smile takes over his face, displaying all of his shining white teeth.

“Aww, my little Bun bun.” Cooing, he kisses down your nose. Skimming his lower lip across your upper. Short breaths pass between as his eyes fall shut. “More?”

You nod, looping your arms under his. Grabbing onto the backs of his shoulders to melt your bodies together yet again. “Please, just a little more.”

“A little? How little?” Jaemin’s baby tone teases you. Large palm resting on the back of your thigh as he adjusts between your legs. Cockhead nestled up between your wet folds. He lets it drag up and down, swollen pussy still wrapping around him in spite of how fucked out and exhausted you felt.

“Need you. Need more of you.” You let him know as you slide down. The tip of his cock breeching your entrance, pulling a hiss from between your lips. Jaemin pulls you closer, burying inside of you with a deep groan. His eyes fall shut long enough to fan long eyelashes on your forehead. Everything about him so soft and pretty in the moment. Both of you take shallow breaths, easing the rest of his size in. No sense of urgency with your heat finally calming.

Jaemin adjusts, taking one of your forearms. Gently dragging his fingers toward your wrists. With eyes locked on yours he kisses up your palm, following the traces of lines. His hips circling to give you a taste of every inch. Your walls moving with his cock, squeezing around him. Breath catching, growing louder as he builds up speed.

“Nana..” you sigh. Falling into a natural smile, content and calm. Jaemin nibbles your wrist, pulling out half way. Thrusting in and out of you meticulously, giving you everything and more. “I love you Jaemin.”

He goes faster, fucking you deeper, harder.

“Bun bun..” pink lips part open moaning, teeth clenching down suppressing a moan. Bending in closer he wraps around your breast, tongue lapping over the perked nub. Gaze lost, consumed by all of you. He delivers a firm thrust, stilling inside. Meeting your cervix with an intensity, lips sucking at your chest. His eyes return to yours, kissing around your nipple. The tip of his tongue tracing the shape of a heart. Taking time to make sure you know exactly what he’s doing.

“I love you more.” He sighs, licking up to where you heart patters. Planting a kiss there, holding back a groan as he spills inside of you.

“Ugh, love you.” Jaemin continues, kissing up a path to your neck. He grunts between more confessions of endless love. Fucking his cum in past your orgasm. Weakened by his final thrust, he drops, landing his weight on you. Apologizing as he tries to catch his breath. “Love you so fucking much.”

Jaemin finishes off kissing over the entirety of your face. Placing extra gentle pecks on your eyelids and nose.

“You okay baby?” He smiles, biting down on his lower lip. “I mean, my baby bun bun.”

Nodding your eyes flicker across his face before shutting. Getting one more look at him before the battle with exhaustion wins.

“Sleepy.”

“I got you bun.” He nuzzles into your neck. Coming down from the high. The heat encompassing your bodies boiling down to a mild chill. Drifting off into dreams of days to come.

———————————————————

“Bun Bun?” Jaemin’s rubbing crust away from his eyes. Puffiness surrounding his vision making him squint under the bright bathroom light. He trips up, landing on the door frame half-asleep. “Baby? Are you okay?”

“N-nana..” big glossy eyes look up. Face drained of life, clutching around your stomach. Jaemin falls to his knees in an instant. Cupping your face with concern. Looking over everything, checking your temperature.

“What’s wrong baby?! What hurts??” He panics. Double checking the pulse on your neck.

“My tummy..” your mouth quirks before you go on. Sighing a breath of relief, the foreign sensation in your stomach quelled. Jaemin’s scent and presence like a switch, calming everything around you in record time. “Feels weird..”

“Weird?” He ponders over what you could mean. Was it hunger? Maybe your bladder? Should he have made sure you used the restroom after the repeated orgasms you’d just had?..his hands reach for your arm. Moving your limbs aside to feel over you stomach. The skin warm, a bit more extended than usual. They had fucked you full of cum after all..

“Maybe.. you need to eat bun bun? Some water? It could be hunger pains. You didn’t take many breaks the last few days. We tried..” Jaemin starts to feel bad. Mentally scolding himself for not making you eat more. He’d make sure to do better your next heat. You agree with him, allowing him to pick you up.

He’s gentle, caring for you like you’re a rare diamond. A price stamp not many could afford. Without rushing, he cleans off any remainders of dried slick on your thighs. Picking out a freshly cleaned fuzzy cotton robe to wrap you up in. He holds out his arms, insisting to carry you to the kitchen.

“I can walk..” you shyly mumble. Easing into his embrace even so. Nose digging into the dip of his collar. Your scent all over him still, further taming whatever issue your body was currently dealing with.

“I know.” Jaemin whispers against your fluffed up ear. Nudging a soft kiss on the now dried fur. Adding an extra nuzzle with the tip of his nose as he takes in your clean smell. “Why walk when I can carry you just as easily?”

Haechan’s already stood at the kitchen island making a pot of coffee. His eyes half shut, hair frizzy and strewn everywhere. Boxers hanging low leaving him rubbing his chest. The air conditioning still turned on in hopes of keeping you from sweating too much throughout everything.

A sleepy smile takes over his face. Suddenly finding himself filled with warmth, spotting Jaemin enter with you cradled to his chest. He motions for you, opening and closing his hands.

“My bunny.” Haechan drapes over your back. Reminding you of a familiar position you’d been in less than 24 hours ago. His smile forming into a grin, acknowledging Jaemin with a nod. “..and my other bunny. How did I get so lucky with two cute bunnies?”

“You didn’t.” Jaemin rolls his eyes. Ignoring the way his ears warm up at Haechan’s suggestive tone. He turns, setting you on the counter, patting your thighs softly. “Bun bun’s not feeling too good.”

“What??” Haechan’s eyes finally come to open up fully. Shoving himself into Jaemin’s side. He reaches for your ears aiding you with coddling strokes. Rubbing the tips of your them between his thumb and index finger.

“It’s okay now. My tummy feels…I don’t know how to explain it. I felt nauseous when I woke up..” you explain. Haechan stops listening, frozen by the first thought that comes to mind. He smiles, petting your ears until you smile back.

“I’ll make you a hearty veggie salad. Uh..Jaemin..” Haechan knocks into his shoulder. “Why don’t you make Bun one of those energy protein smoothie things you and Jeno are always drinking?”

Jaemin shows hesitation, only moving away once Jeno enters and immediately attacks you with kisses. Giving him a quick run-down to be careful with you. Jeno’s too eager, hopping onto the counter next to you putting in a request for a smoothie too. He falls against you, cold hands sneaking inside your robe for warmth.

Haechan pauses cutting vegetables, slicing up enough carrots into tiny pieces you could digest easily. He slinks closer to Jaemin, lowering his voice enough. Jeno cooing too loud and praising you somewhere behind them enough to drown out any conversation anyway.

“Hey, lover boy…bun can’t like…get pregnant by one of us right?” Haechan stumbles over his words. Swallowing dryness taking over his mouth.

“We aren’t hybrids..” Jaemin shuts off the blender, slowly turning to look at his friend. Renjun walks in mid-discussion. Settling at your other side, laying messy minty kisses on your cheek.

“What if…I mean..” Haechan scratches his bed head hair. Brushing his fingers through it in deep thought. He looks over Jaemin’s face, admiring how handsome he managed to look even after such an exhausting event.

Jaemin bites his lower lip nervously, feeling Haechan’s eyes bore into him like lasers. The other staring at his two front bunny like teeth.

“Even if we were hybrid’s…” Jaemin goes on, side eyeing Haechan. “We’d have to have to be a close enough breed. Rabbit or bunny of some type.”

“Huh..” Haechan looks back and forth. Noticing the way you cup your stomach. Jeno rubbing circles around where it looks like a bumps formed. Would be weird for you to be that bloated after not eating enough..

He looks at Jaemin again, rubbing his chin. Proceeding to think out loud- “I guess we would know if we were part hybrid right..”

“Of course. You’d have some type of hybrid characteristic.” Jaemin reaches past him. Picking up a carrot and taking a bite. Chewing cutely, his nose wiggling. Two front teeth shown off as he bites down for more.

“Yea..” Haechan squints. “You’re probably right. What are the chances we buy a hybrid, and one of us ends up getting her pregnant right?”

The two share a laugh, interrupted by the sound of discomfort you let out. Both watching as you lean into Jeno’s chest. Rubbing both hands over your stomach in such a maternal way..

“What..” Jaemin quietly questions. “Are the chances..”

Their gazes return to each other. Shaking their heads in agreement that it’s a silly thought. They move on, setting up a placemat with your meal. Both struggling with the idea even so.

“We should, schedule a check-up. To be sure Bun’s heat was fine..” Jaemin tells Haechan.

“Yea. That’s..that’s a good idea..” they share a look of apprehension. Going on with ignoring the elephant, or whatever, in the room.

There was no way you could possibly be pregnant.

Unless.

a/n:

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