#Jungwoo Angst

[luvyeni]

can i request reader being self conscious that jungwoo doesnt love them the same way they do? like he always says ‘i love you’ but never seriously, its always quick and lighthearted. and reader cries about it and jungwoo walks in on them crying?

TELL ME YOU LOVE ME; KIM JUNGWOO

pairings. officeworker!jungwoo x fem!reader

wc. 0.9k

warnings. angst , mentions of breakups , they both cry

i hope you like it , i didn't add smut because you didn't specify if you wanted it smut , and i don't add smut unless specified.

you think jungwoo doesn't love you anymore , and began to wonder if he wants to end it.

—

you've tried your best , you really have , but things clearly haven't been the same. you've tried everything , waking up and cooking him breakfast before he goes to work — also making him lunch , planning dates , the whole nine yards , but jungwoo it seemed like jungwoo really did care about those things anymore.

often just leaving before even trying the food , forgetting the lunch in the fridge , quickly running out with a quick 'gotta go love you' before slamming the door shut leaving you to clean it all up — and when he shows up to dates , he isn't even intrested , allowing you to talk his ear off while he drifts off , or scrolling through your phone.

it wasn't always like this , jungwoo didn't always act like he didn't care , he actually used to be the one doing those things , getting up early to cook breakfast and lunch , planning dates — now , it's like you guys are roommates who just sleep in the same bed.

just like now , you got up , walking into the kitchen to make breakfast , his lunch in the fridge. you hear his alarm go off , then the shower running , finishing up , placing on the table , waiting for him to enter the kitchen.

"good morning baby." you smiled brightly at him , only for him to nod , walking over to the coffee pot , pouring himself a cup , grabbing a piece of toast off the table , "can't stay , gotta go to work." he was in a rush again. "oh okay." you frowned. "well have a good day , i love you." you said , handing him his lunch. "don't need it , probably will just eat something from the vending machine , love you" he didn't even give you a quick measly kiss like he normally does , just walking out , leaving you in silence to clean up the forgotten breakfast.

you went on with your day , doing some work on your computer , doing some errands , cleaning you and jungwoo's room — the day quickly going by , and before you know it , it was time to start cooking dinner , that you normally eat alone , before heading to bed , jungwoo coming in much later heating it up to eat before crawling into bed.

you quickly finish your food , making your way into the room , putting on some pajamas , before crawling into bed , the past month replaying in your head. you felt your heart breaking , did he not love you anymore? was this the end of you guys — were you gonna break up? you hadn't even realized that you were crying , until you felt the hot tears streaming down your face — your body curled up into a ball as you began to sob.

jungwoo sighed , his head hanging low as he closed the door to your apartment , taking his shoes off. his day was horrible , his boss forcing him to stay over to redo the paperwork the new employees fucked up once again , his regular 7 off time , turning into him barely awake as he walks through your door , almost midnight.

he trudged into the kitchen , his food layed out for him like always , he sat down to eat — his head in his hands. he finished eating , washing his dish , before making his way to the room. as he got closer , he could hear you crying — more like sobbing.

he opened the door , you were facing the wall , you were sobbing so loud , you didn't even hear the door open. "baby?" jungwoo rushed over , sitting down next to you. "are you okay? are you hurt? sick?" he felt your forehead , you slapped his hand away. "like you care." you sniffled , his eyes widened. "baby what do you mean , i do care." he said , why were you acting like this?

"baby." he grabbed your hand , "baby please look at me." you looked at at him blinking the tears away. "why are you saying such things , of course i love you." he rubbed your knuckles , you sniffled. "you haven't been acting like it , i cook you food , i plan dates , i do everything to revive what we had , and you don't even pay me any mind , you don't even tell me you love me anymore." you cried , he played everything in his head , it all suddenly became clear— he'd been so busy , he hadn't realized he'd been such an asshole towards you.

"do you want to break up?"

those words cut him like a knife , "what , no baby i don't want to break up." he brought your body into a tight hug. "i love you okay , i do , i really love you." he rocked your body back and forth. "i know you've been trying , i've been so busy baby , the company had me working overtime trying to fix shit that the new employees fucked up , i don't want to break up with okay?" you can now see the fear in his eyes. "we can fixed this , i promise." he said tears in his eyes , he was crying now too. "i'll take a few days off , and we'll spend it together." he suggested.

"can you do that?" he shrugged , "i don't know , and i don't care , you are far more important to me than that job , i'll get doyoung hyung or someone else to do it , don't worry about it." he kissed your head , laying down next to you. "i'm sorry." he said. "it's okay." you wrap your arms around him. "i never want you to feel like that ever again." he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.

"i love you."

©️LUVYENI

[vergilthelibrarian]

Your eyes widen and you moved backwards a bit.

“What… what are you talking about?” You asked in shock.

Jungwoo laughed.

“I’m in love you.” He said, his eyes intently watching you.

“In love with me?” You gasped out.

“Didn’t you turn me down? Laugh in my face and tell me that we’re just close friends?” You yelled.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes.

“Yeah… until I saw you getting a little too close to Jaehyun’s brother.”

“You mean Jaemin? He’s just a friend! And he’s a better friend than you!” You spat venomously.

Jungwoo nodded.

“Better friend hm?” He laughed slightly.

“You isolated me. You drove all of my other friends away to the point that I had no one but you… but not anymore.” You shook your head. “Ever since Jaemin came into my life, I finally saw you for who you really are. You’re like a vampire. Sucking my energy away, draining me…” you straighten yourself up, staring Jungwoo in the eyes.

“I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

Jungwoo frowned.

Now it was his turn to be in shock.

“What are you saying?” He asked though he knew exactly what you were saying. He just needed to be sure.

“I want you out of my life.”

Jungwoo started laughing once more and he was laughing hard and finally you felt fear.

Genuine fear from the man you once called your best friend.

“Oh babe.” He started, his eyes on you once more causing your body to turn cold.

His eyes were filled with a dark amusement.

It was like as though this was nothing but a joke to him.

And it was.

“That’s never gonna happen.”

[notjaehyun]

i am not okay????????????????????????????????????

[kpop-kitkat]

Partying | Kim Jungwoo

pairing | boyfriend!kim jungwoo x f!reader

genre/cw | angst, fluff, explicit language, sexual themes, alcohol, teenagers/young adults partying, slight possessive behavior, crying, happy ending 

wc | 1.2k

notes | none

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Y/n nearly tripped over her own feet as she danced to the party music, highly influenced by alcohol.

“I’m so glad you came! It would’ve been boring without you,” her friend Sana explained, also a bit tipsy.

”Oh my gosh, right?!” Y/n laughed, bumping into a stranger and muttering a quick drunken apology. 

“You know,” their third, non-intoxicated friend Jeongyeon, began. “Your boyfriend is going to kill you.”

”That’s funny,” Y/n replied, hardly understanding what she said.

”Jungwoo literally told you not to come, you said it yourself!” Jeongyeon crossed her arms.

”Did I?” Y/n raised an eyebrow. “Who cares about him anyway? I’m having the time of my life without him,” she giggled. 

“Your funeral,” Jeongyeon rolled her eyes before going to talk with her boyfriend. 

“Don’t listen to her. Just enjoy yourself,” Sana reassured. “Jungwoo can’t always have you to himself.”

Kim Jungwoo. While slightly overprotective of his girlfriend, he had common sense. He told Y/n not to go out when he left, because they had been in an argument, and he knew how she loved to drink her problems away. And why not go to the party? She could hurt herself, or worse, be hurt by other men. And the thought of that possibility infuriated Jungwoo with every single fiber in his body.

Of course Y/n was stubborn and a bit of a brat, so she did it anyway.  Her sober self would’ve regretted ever coming here and left for home, but she’d had a bit too much to drink by now.

”Attention everyone! My parents are getting home in two hours, so let’s clean up and sober up! Get home when you can, and please don’t drive drunk!” Announced Doyoung, the host of the party.

”Ugh, I was about to play beer pong,” Sana poured, leaning on Y/n’s shoulder.

”Me too,” Y/n whined.

”Omg you two,” she facepalmed. “Just chug water and take a hot shower upstairs. You both need it. I’ll drive y’all back,” Jeongyeon ordered. Being the oldest of the three, she felt it was her responsibility as an unnie to care for her younger friends. 

With hesitation, the two complied.

Y/n had to admit, the warm water on her skin felt absolutely incredible. But something was missing. Ah, Jungwoo. He joined her in the shower every chance he got. What would he think of her now?

Even after chugging thirty ounces of water, the alcohol still affected her. And while she was too drunk to walk properly or drive, she was sober enough to come to her senses. “I really messed up.”

”I know,” Jeongyeon, laughed, throwing some clothes at her friend, who only wore a bath towel around her body. “Put these on. Sana is already down stairs. Be quick please,” she said, going downstairs.

Y/n quickly put on the shorts and t-shirt before following Jeongyeon downstairs.

“Jungwoo is going to kill me,” she whispered to herself, making her way towards the front door, where Jeongyeon and Sana had already exited.

”You got that right,” a chilling, familiar voice replied.

Y/n squinted her eyes to see him, on the other side of the room. “Jungwoo?”

”The one and only.”

”Jungwoo I-“

”Shut your fucking mouth and get in the car. We’re going home,” Jungwoo growled. Jungwoo never cussed, unless he was angry. He must’ve been very much so.

She hung her head and complied, going out of the front door and getting into the passenger seat of Jungwoo’s car.

When he got into the driver’s seat, he slammed the door angrily, scaring Y/n. And his silence scared her even more.

”Baby-“

”I don’t want to hear it,” Jungwoo interrupted, eyes focused on the road.

”But I-“

”Shut the fuck up or I’m dumping your ass on the side of the road!” He yelled, eyes now focused on her and they were stopped at a red light.

Her eyes stung with tears as she sunk into her seat and hid her face from her boyfriend. She made an audible sniffing sound, and Jungwoo tried to convince himself he didn’t care. But he did. His girlfriend was sorry, guilty, and regretful. And when she cried, his heart cried with her.

”I’m sorry,” she whispered, arms hugging her legs.

Jungwoo remained silent. What did he have to say anyway?

Y/n didn’t have to look up to know he pulled into their apartment’s driveway. And once the car was no longer running, she opened her door and went up two flights of stairs to their apartment door. With the keys in her hands, she unlocked the door and made her way to the couch, plopping onto it and continuing to cry. How could she ever do something like this?

Jungwoo sighed as he heard her sobs as she locked the door behind him. He debated going to bed or talking with her. He ultimately decided on the latter.

”What made you think you could go out drinking with your friends without my permission?” He asked angrily.

”I don’t know,” she sniffed.

”You don’t know?!” He yelled. “Look at me Y/n!” 

She looked up from the couch and saw the anger in his eyes. Fear overtook her senses. She had never seen him like this in their two years of dating.

”You could’ve been hurt! How do I know you’re safe when I’m not there to protect you? How do I know you’re not in some other guy’s arms struggling for your fucking life? What if you,” he paused, panting. “What if I found out when I got home, that my girlfriend got herself killed because we had a stupid little argument a couple hours before?”

Y/n couldn’t blame anyone but herself now. He was right. And he really did care about her. He wouldn’t have said those things if he didn’t. 

“Look baby,” he sighed, crouching down beside her to move some hair from her face. “I love you. I need you safe. I can’t just let you go party with your friends when I can’t protect you,” he explained. 

She got choked up on her tears as she nodded. “I won’t do it again.”

”You better not.”

Y/n’s trembling body was warmed when Jungwoo wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he said quietly, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll always love you. No matter what you do. I can never stop.”

He moved away just enough to place a sweet kiss on her lips. “You still taste like alcohol,” he mumbled against her lips, and he couldn’t help but smile.

”Are you still mad at me?” Y/n smirked as he wouldn’t stop chasing after her lips.

”Not really,” he replied, licking her bottom lip.

”You know, we could just go to the bedroom,” she whispered tugging at his shirt. But she pouted when he pulled away.

”This is your punishment for getting drunk around other men, darling,” he smirked.

”Please?”

”Maybe tomorrow,” he smiled, pecking her lips once more before getting off the couch. “Plus, you probably need to be able to walk tomorrow. You know, for that exam you’ve been worrying about for ages?”

[lovelywooz]

Kim Jungwoo - Enough

Hope you guys enjoy ! Not enough people write for Jungwoo so I only feel a little bit bad that most of my writing will probably be about him teehee! If you have any requests or would like to sat hi just send me a message and I’ll reply when I can :) otherwise please look forward to my next postings when they happen!

Word Count: 2.1k

Warning: This is VERY angsty. Mentions of past toxic and mean partners. Hurt-Comfort. All that good stuff.

Not comparing yourself to others is hard. But not comparing yourself to your immaculately perfect boyfriend? That is just plain impossible. You couldn’t possibly measure up.

*******************************************************

When you look at your boyfriend, it’s easy to tell why you love him. His laugh is contagious. He can brighten up a whole room with just his mere presence. He’s responsible and the hardest worker you’ve ever seen. And on top of all that, he is drop dead gorgeous. His delicate yet powerful frame compliments his fluffy hair and soft face. His tall stature doesn’t stop him from bending down uncomfortably just to rest a head on your shoulder. Simply put, he’s a total catch by anyones standards. And you’re so lucky to have him.

When you look at yourself, it’s hard to see the same value. Staring into your sullen eyes in the mirror, on nights like these you can’t help but wonder what he sees in you. How could someone so incredible really stay with someone as mediocre as you? Every day is like walking on eggshells, thinking endlessly on what to do to keep his interest and berating yourself when you do something that might be annoying. It’s a lot of effort to keep up the mask every day but if that’s what it takes then that’s what it takes. If he knew how much baggage you were carrying he would run away and never look back. You wash your face and try not to think about the way your fingers brush over a few forming blemishes on your skin.

You’ll never feel good enough for him.

You make your way downstairs to the dining room, adjusting the huge sweater draped over your frame on the way down. Its Jungwoo’s of course. You just couldn’t resist the idea of having his smell swathed around you and he didn’t seem to mind. You wished you could even be half as comforting to him but you doubt that. Sitting down at the dinner table, you look over the many steaming side dishes scattered about.

It was Jungwoo’s turn to cook dinner tonight. You’ve been trading off every other day as of this month. That way if he didn’t enjoy your food anymore he would only have to eat it for a few nights a week and he wouldn’t be burdened cooking for both of you every night. He’s probably so tired after work and you learned from a previous partner that if dinner isn’t consistently on the table, they would go eat dinner with someone else.

You hope that your little arrangement is a good enough compromise for Woo.

Your mind wanders back to this morning when you asked what he had in mind and he insisted he cook korean food for you. “I miss my mom’s cooking sometimes. I’m not nearly as good as her but… I really want to make something extra nice for you sweetheart”. He looked deep into your eyes, as if searching for something you couldn’t quite figure out. “Okay babe sounds great” you say, absentmindedly breaking eye contact while fixing your outfit in the mirror. You wear it all the time and yet it feels like it doesn’t look as nice as it used to.

You recall the time an ex of yours told you, “you’re too clingy in the morning, just leave me the fuck alone and do your routine and I’ll do mine”.

You don’t say anything more so as not to disturb Jungwoo while he brushes his teeth and fixes his fluffy hair. You want to reach out and brush your fingers over it so badly the way you used to, but you decide it would probably just piss him off. You gave him a short kiss before heading downstairs and out the front door, leaving him standing alone in your shared bathroom.

Jungwoo’s hands fall from his hair to the counter as he hears the door firmly shut. He wipes the mist from his eyes and tries to stop biting his nails before making his way out the door as well.

“… Well it’s not gonna jump onto your plate by itself sweetie”. Jungwoo broke you out of your thoughts with a weak laugh.

“Oh yeah. Sorry ha ha!” You move your chopsticks towards the dakgalbi thats wafting an irresistible aura and grab a few pieces to set on your small dish of rice. “I’ve been spacing out a bit lately.”

“You’ve been spacing out, a lot, lately actually.” Jungwoo clears his throat and stands up a bit from his seat to grab some kimchi. “Sorry. That came out weird... I’m just a little… well I’m worried about you.” He shoves the food in his mouth with gusto then opens it back up to regulate the temperature and swallows after a while. Leaving a very uncomfortable silence. He suddenly sets down his chopsticks and sits ramrod straight.

“I’m worried about us”.

You nearly choked on the rice you had only just started chewing.

“I didn’t want to do this now. I’m sorry I just can’t wait any longer I’ve been so worried lately”. He picks his hands up from the table almost confusedly and then brings them down to his knees, rubbing them quickly. He brings them back up in a matter of seconds though, in favor of running his hands through his hair fervently. His eyes are shifting anywhere but yours. All the habits he shows when he’s most nervous. “Did I do something wrong? Because you just don’t seem as happy to see me lately and, and I feel like, every time I compliment you or kiss you or touch you or anything you just”, he swallows heavily in an attempt to keep his voice from quivering, “You just, hate it. Like you barely even look at me anymore. I thought maybe it was just an off day or two for you, but it’s been weeks now”.

You open your mouth to speak, to offer him some explanation that would hopefully make it all better, but are pointedly interrupted by him. “No- I’m not done”, he stands up from his seat at the table and paces around for a moment before turning to face you directly, “I have to know. Don’t sugar coat it”. He looks up at the ceiling, takes a deep breath, and asks a question you couldn’t have prepared yourself for.

“You don’t love me anymore, do you?”

What. How could this have happened? The love of your life, in tears in front of you, because he thinks you don’t love him anymore? Him. In all his perfection. In all his kindness and intelligence. The man you’ve obsessed over night and day for years, finding a new detail to love about him every week. Of course you still love him, you’ve never doubted it for even a second. How could you have possibly made him think any differently? You’ve been controlling your actions so carefully so as not to disturb or annoy him. Where could it have gone wrong?

You then remember all the times you’ve said no to dates recently because you didn’t “feel like going out” when in reality you felt too guilty to let him waste even a bit of his hard earned money on you. The times you’ve skipped over romance movies and tv shows he suggests to watch together because they remind you you can’t offer him the fairytale love he deserves. All the nights he’s gently slid a hand up your thigh in bed and you pretended to be asleep because you felt like your body wasn’t pretty enough. Not calling him on the way home from work this week because you’ve been bawling your eyes out on the drive home in fear of losing him.

Oh god. The awful realization hits you all at once.

You’ve been so worried about holding him back. About hurting him. About your love not being enough. So focused on ‘fixing’ every insecurity in a desperate attempt to prove your worth to yourself and to him. So mixed up inside all of that, that the love you’ve been giving him all but dried up. And you upset him regardless. You failed.

“You’re not saying anything damn it why are you not saying anything?!” He is full on sobbing now when you come back to reality. “I love you so much. I don’t want anyone else so just please don’t leave me. I don’t know what I did to push you away but I’ll do anything to have you back. It’s only you. It’s only you…” His desperate pleading trails off as the scalding hot tears stream heavily down his face.

The tears have started in your eyes now as you finally speak. “Jungwoo… I love you so much. I love you just as much as I ever have. I’m head over heels for you. I never meant to make you feel this way I am so, so sorry.” You stand up from your chair as well and walk so slowly towards him. “The truth is, I just- I-“ you’re floundering against the tightness in your throat. Why is this so difficult?

“I feel like I’m not enough for you.”

He looks up from his arms. Oceans still rising underneath his eyes.

“I have so much baggage. From experiences and relationships that I’ve been too scared to tell you about. I just didn’t want to chase you away when you found out how messed up I am. I’m so scared to love because I don’t know how to do it correctly and I’m scared that I will create something that only hurts you. I still can’t even fathom how you could love someone like me. I’ve been agonizing all this time trying to be the best partner for you but I still can’t even do that right. Someone as perfect and beautiful as you deserved so much more than me.” You move a hand up to wipe his teary eyes, not realizing how much closer you are now than when you started. “So I hid everything. And pretended like it never happened. I decided to hide at first and maybe open up later but the years just caught up to me and the stakes grew higher and higher as I saw how amazing you are and fell so far in love with you that the idea of losing you because of my incompetence with love was just not an option anymore.” At some point he must have put his arms around you, because you register his comforting scent all around and feel your forehead land against his chest so softly as if it were a feather.

“How long, have you been feeling this way?” His voice is hoarse and soft from crying but he seems to have gained some control over his tear ducts. “I mean like- how long has it been building up inside?”.

“I don’t know. It’s been much worse lately. I’m so sorry Jungwoo.” Your answer will have to suffice for now because your throat is aching terribly from holding back your tears. You’re the one who hurt him, how could you possibly be letting Him comfort You? Once again you feel like you’re bringing him down. You can hear the harsh words and brutal truths from your previous partners nipping at your mind again. Only this time, his voice is there to break your spiraling.

“I forgive you. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. But there’s one thing that you should hear. If nothing else.” He brings you out of his arms to look him in the eye, making sure that you are holding his gaze by placing one hand on your cheek and the other on your shoulder. You’re expecting him to be so angry with you. This is the part where he leaves you forever. You’ve neglected him. You’ve inconvenienced him. You’ve ignored him. And-

“I don’t care what they told you about yourself. Whoever they are. I fucking love-“ his voice breaks in his sincerity, “I love you. I love everything about you. They way you love is perfect just the way it is. You’re my favorite part of life. And if this is something that we have to work on, then we will work on it together. We will get through this. But we can’t do that if you don’t talk to me. You have to let me in. I’m here to help you now. I’m not like them.”

Your body has a physical reaction to his words. They shoot up your spine like an electric shock and land right where your heart is. Never before in your life have you heard someone talk about you with such conviction. You can feel some part of your emotional walls crumbling away. The way he holds you like a treasure. The way he looks at you with more devotion than you can even fathom. Suddenly the voices of your exes get quieter.

“I love you so much sweetheart. You don’t have to be perfect. All you have to do is be yourself. You will Always be more than enough for me.” He presses his soul to yours in the form of a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“I love you too Woo, I love you so much.” The dakgalbi is cold, but your hearts are so warm. In this moment you know for certain now. As long as you have each other,

Everything is going to be okay.

[morningsunandnightsky]

Fated to be yours | Kim Jungwoo

Cupid au

pairing: cupid!Jungwoo x reader

warnings: death, mention of bullying, bus accident, I think there's one swear word (While none of the warnings I mentioned are explicitly described, I advise you not to read this if any of them trigger you.)

word count: 6.1 k

genre: angst, fantasy, fluff

synopsis: When a tragic ending makes room for a new beginning, it only makes sense for everything to fall into place. But sometimes second chances are even harder than the first. Especially when time and fate have their own way of things.

an: I finally got done with this. It took forever and It's still far from being perfect but I thought it would only be right to give you something on my birthday. I hope you enjoy and if anyone waited for this, I'm sorry I took so long. Please let me know what you think!

This is a continuation of this [03:23 pm] timestamp. You could read this on its own, but it would make more sense if you read both.

Taglist: @gangsta-dragon, @thelilyshope, @donkey-hyuck, @doeilovr

You shift uncomfortably in your seat,  

“What are you talking about?” 

Voice barely audible.  

Something about him makes you stay in your seat even when your senses tell you to run. 

“I’m not visible to you” he says once more. 

This time his tone irritates you, he isn’t even trying to make you understand. 

His cold eyes also have something else in them but you can’t quite make out what that is, it seems locked away. Only visible when you search for it. 

The sun makes his skin glow, so much that it almost looks see-through. Your eyes go down to his lips, they have the same shade of pink as his hair.  

For a split second, you see your surroundings lose colour and everything moves in slow motion. The people sitting around you look like frozen statues, none of them even blinks. Even the vehicles outside are standing still on the road. All the noise from the busy city has completely vanished. Whilst the clouds seem to be frozen in place. 

But you can still see Jungwoo, you can feel him closer to you than ever before and you hear him. You hear him so clearly even though he is not talking to you.  

Before you can even process what is happening, the sudden halt of the bus takes you out of your trance. The force almost makes you fall over. 

You grab onto the seat in front of you to balance yourself and you hear the voice of the bus driver shouting something out of his window. Everyone gets up to see what is going on, they start whispering to each other and you hear someone calling the emergency number. 

No one else seems to have felt what you just did as if you and everyone else were in two different places. 

You turn to Jungwoo, but the seat is empty.  

The gush of cold air hitting the side of your face makes you look over at the door, it’s wide open but nobody else seems to notice it.  

-- 

Jungwoo takes a deep breath to calm himself down. 

Something definitely happened, something that was not supposed to happen. 

Like a glitch almost, a spilt second where the universe was out of balance.  

The look he had seen in your eyes tells him that you experienced it too.  

How could you see him in the first place? Did he mess up somewhere?  

He takes out the small piece of rolled-up parchment from his pocket, not noticing his watch that has stopped running. 

“A step in the right direction after great hesitation. 

A twist of fate, On the destined date. 

The appointed hour, a blessing and curse combined,  

Your journey of one, six and eight.” 

No matter how much he tries to understand, none of the words make any sense to him.  

But he had to be quick because time was running out, that was the one thing he was sure of. 

-- 

Lost in your thoughts you don’t notice the message you had received from your friend asking you why you weren’t at work yet. 

It’s only when you see the name of your boss displayed on your screen, indicating that he is calling you, that you realise how much time has passed. 

Your eyes glide past the name to see what time it is.  

09:45 

You were supposed to start your shift almost an hour ago. And it doesn’t seem like you will be moving any time soon so you grab your bag and get off the bus.  

Luckily you weren’t too far away from your stop so you get there relatively fast. And after explaining the situation, your boss didn’t go into it any further. Which you were very thankful for. 

As the day goes by your thoughts drift off to Jungwoo, you keep thinking about his weird behaviour. 

The more you think about it, the more you understand that he wasn’t interested in you. He didn’t even care to have a chat with you out of courtesy. 

If only you hadn’t taken the bus that day, no if only you hadn’t gone up to him. No, you should’ve never invested your time in him or even let him into your head. 

A deep sigh leaves your mouth. 

No matter how much you try to forget it, a feeling of disappointment still settles in the pit of your stomach. He felt so different to you, you were almost sure he was like no other human being. 

But of course, that wasn’t the case. He was far from what you thought of him. Maybe it was your own fault for making up this “perfect façade” about someone you didn’t even know.  

And you were hoping to fall in love during the first snowfall of the year, “what a joke” you think to yourself. 

Maybe love just wasn’t for you. 

-- 

Snowflakes are falling softly on the ground, white and glistening, almost erasing all the troubles in the world. 

Jungwoo puts his hand out to catch one, even when he knows he can’t. He looks at it while it goes straight through him. But for the first time in a while, it makes him smile. 

Because a newfound hope has started to blossom in his chest. 

It had been a good day; he managed to bring together two couples and even healed a broken heart. His list was getting shorter and the possibility of regaining his life seemed to come a step closer each day. 

From the edge of the building, he is sitting on, he looks down the streets of the city that was once home to him. It had only been a couple of years since he left but a lot had changed. 

He spots a child holding onto the hand of his father, trying to keep up with his little feet. Wrapped in a big scarf and wearing little mittens on his hands, he looked absolutely adorable. Anyone could tell how much the father adored him, by the gentle smile grazing his face whilst holding his little hand tightly.  

Parental love, a love set deep in the heart but one that is very complex at the same time. 

He can’t even remember a time his own parents ever looked at him like that. Because they never did, not even once. He tried so hard for them, to make them like him, to please them and to love them. Hoping he would be loved in return. 

A couple walks in the opposite direction, holding hands and giggling slightly. The blush on their faces is evident even from all the way where he was sitting. 

First love, the overwhelming feeling of holding someone so close to your heart for the first time, one that he recognises all too well. 

Her bright eyes are still engraved in his brain, they were his favourite. Because they made his days bearable. The very last time he looked into her eyes she smiled at him. He felt happy, for once he genuinely felt happy. 

He spots a group of friends enjoying the evening in a little coffee shop at the end of the road. Chatting away about their day, sharing laughs and enjoying their youth.  

Friendship, a different kind of love, one that is easy to obtain and hard to let go of, one that is easier overlooked but a love destined for everyone. 

The only person in the world who accepted him for who he was and who loved him because of that. He was the only person that reached out his hand to him and held it until the very end. His one and only friend, Doyoung. 

At the thought of him, Jungwoo feels a sting in his chest. Something like an arrow being shot into his heart. 

He takes a few deep breaths before he takes out the parchment again. 

“This is the final thing you have to accomplish. If you find the right people and bring them together before your time is up, your second chance at life will be granted. You must be on time, even a minute plays a crucial role. Everything you need to know is writing on here.” 

The words keep playing in his head. 

One thing he did not understand is why this was delivered separately, and why this one was different to all his other cases. 

The sound of the opening door takes him by surprise. He didn’t expect anyone to be here at this hour or on a day like this.  

But he couldn’t care less because they wouldn’t know he was there anyway. 

“A twist of fate, on the destined date.” 

Something about this sentence makes him uncomfortable, it provokes worry. Because fate doesn’t have twists. It’s something that is meant to be, right? 

“Oh, you’re here too...” he hears a familiar voice say. 

He sees you standing by the door when he turns around and then he gets up and walks up to you. 

You start walking backwards but he is faster than you and before you know it you are standing with your back against the door. 

“I don’t know who you are and I don’t care who you are but if you are here to ruin things for me, spare your energy and go back to where you came from” 

You scoff at his words. 

“Listen here you prick, I got the memo this morning already! You don’t need to go on about that. But just because you don’t like me doesn’t mean you can treat me like this.” 

“Why are you here?” 

“Do I have to tell you about what I do with my life now too? Just get out of my way, I’m really not in the mood to argue” 

“Can you really see me?” 

“Then do you think I'm just talking to the air?" you answer, sighing heavily. 

Something doesn’t add up. 

You walk past him and go to sit on the other side. 

Jungwoo searches for a sign but there is nothing out of the ordinary. Even though he doesn’t trust you, he somehow knows you aren’t a threat to him. Which confuses him even more. 

“Could this be part of the assignment?” he thinks to himself. 

All he can do now is observe the situation so he decides to sit down too. 

For a while you both just sit there not saying anything, it’s strangely peaceful. Neither of you feeling anything. 

“I’m sorry,” Jungwoo says. 

“You are very rude, you know?” 

“I know, that’s why I’m apologising” 

When you turn to look at him, he is already facing you. The soft apologetic smile on his face makes your heart skip a beat.  

“It’s fine...” you say trying not to give away how much he affects you. 

“It’s not that I dislike you, I just thought- you were someone else” 

You nod at him not really knowing what to say, hearing his words makes you feel slightly better. 

As the misunderstanding is somewhat settled you slowly fall into a conversation, which goes on for hours into the night without either of you realising. 

Just like the time that is ticking away. 

The following days you still wait for him each morning but now he sits next to you and you spend your mornings with him before starting your day. And most evenings are spent on the rooftop, you meet practically every day but even so, there is never a dull moment between you two. 

You find out that you two had lived on the same road when growing up and even crossed paths when you still were in school. 

He understood your sense of humour that most people found lame. And there was always something to talk about. It just was so easy with him. Which made it even easier to fall for him. 

Jungwoo felt it too, he knew something changed. It was exciting and new to him...you felt different to him. 

-- 

He looks up to the publishing company in front of him. It was weird for him to be led to a specific place but he was sure he needed to be here for his next case. Not too long after entering, he finds the man he came for and he sees you sitting behind one of the many desks too. 

A rush of anxiety goes through his body at the thought of it being you he has to set up with him. So, he turns around and begins to walk out. But he knows can’t let personal feelings get in the way, no matter how much he dislikes it.  

He gets the little sachet filled with love and returns to the office. He looks at every move of the man after he has done what he needs to do. He can feel his heartbeat increasing with each passing minute. 

He sees him walk over to the row where you are sitting at. His fists have become white from how hard he is clenching them. But the man walks pasts your chair and goes up to a woman a couple of desks further.  

One thing leads to another and before you know it, he is down on his knee asking her to marry him. Jungwoo lets out the breath he was holding in this whole time. 

He feels selfish for being so happy that it wasn’t you, but at the same time, he can’t contain it.  

When you step out of the company that evening, you immediately spot your favourite smile across the street. Your heart does a little twirl when he tells you he has been waiting for you.  

“Can I take you somewhere?” he asks 

“Huh? Isn’t almost everything closed by now?” 

“Do you trust me?” 

You don’t even have to think about it, which confuses you. But at the same time, the question brings you peace as if it’s the most normal thing ever to trust him. 

You look at him and smile, “I do” 

He leads you all the way to the other side of the city. The further you get, the lesser the bustling of the evening gets. Almost as if you aren’t even in the same city anymore. 

Jungwoo leads you into a park. A look of recognition settles on your face when memories from high school come floating back. It had been ages since you last visited this place and you almost forget about it. 

After a while of walking in silence, Jungwoo turns to you with a huge grin on his face. 

“Close your eyes, please” 

You look at him with raised eyebrows and a playful smile but do as he asks. A couple of moments and warily steps later he tells you that you can look. 

A surprised gasp leaves your mouth as you look around. Endless bushes full of pink roses covered with a layer of thin ice come into view. 

“You like it?” you hear him ask 

“Yes, they are so beautiful” you answer as you carefully trace the icy petals of the flowers. 

You’re taking pictures when you look over at Jungwoo. He is standing surrounded by all the flowers. A soft smile is grazing his face and an unusual yet alluring energy is radiating off of him. You can’t take your eyes off of him so you decide to take a photo. 

What you don’t notice is how Jungwoo is slowly fading away on your phone. 

-- 

The pure joy on the elderly couple’s faces fills Jungwoo’s heart. Two people who had been searching for one another for more than 20 years while never giving up on their love for each other, could finally be together again. It was such an authentic form of love; one he was envious of.  

Maybe if the circumstances were different, he could have experienced it too. Spending a lifetime with one person... 

You enter his mind. 

Your curious eyes and the way you laughed at his jokes, or how cute you looked with your huge scarf that covered most of your face. He wouldn’t mind experiencing more moments like that, he wouldn’t mind at all if it was you. 

When he crosses out the elderly couple’s names, he notices he only has one more pair left. For some reason whoever, it does not make him happy. 

He was a step closer to his goal each day but something felt off, it seemed too good to be true. It was almost too easy. 

He puts the list away and strolls down the street, maybe he could see you again. 

And not much later, as if his heart led him to you, he sees you walking down the street. He hurries to catch up but then decides to stay a couple of steps behind you.   

Just as you reach the bus stop, you abruptly stop and turn around, catching him off guard. Jungwoo practically jumps in the air and you start laughing uncontrollably. 

“For fuck’s sake you almost gave me a heart attack” 

“That wouldn’t happen if you weren’t sneaking up on me, would it?” you ask, highly amused. 

“I was not sneaking up on you. I just wanted to say hi!” 

“Oh yeah of course”  

 “What are you doing here anyway?” you say as you pull your coat around you even tighter to keep yourself warm. 

“I was just in the area, are you cold?” 

“Yes, are you not? How come you are always dressed so lightly?” you ask him as you reach out to touch his cheeks. 

Jungwoo takes a step backwards but you still manage to cup his cheeks. He can feel your cold hands on his face and for the first time ever someone’s touch doesn’t go through him. 

He is at a loss for words, partly because he doesn’t understand and partly because it feels so foreign. It has been so long since he has physically felt anything. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you say when you realise what you are doing.  

“No, no please don’t” you hear him say before he wraps his arms around you.  

“May I please hold you for a moment?”  

The mood suddenly shifts into something emotional, you both can feel it but you don’t acknowledge it. You allow him to hold you, sensing he needs it. 

Being in his arms felt safe, something like returning home.  

After what felt like ages, Jungwoo slightly pulls back and asks you if you have warmed up a bit. 

Not being able to look into his eyes, you nod while keeping your eyes on his chest.  

“You look so cute” you hear him say 

Now you were definitely feeling warmed up. His words made you feel butterflies all throughout your body. When you look up at him you see him looking back at you with his sweet smile. 

“You look cute too,” you say to him. 

He chuckles slightly and it’s the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard. 

You stand there looking into each other’s eyes with hearts beating in the same rhythm. 

You see Jungwoo’s eyes flicker down to your lips, and feeling a bit confident after his compliment you start to lean in.  

You see Jungwoo’s smile get bigger before you close your eyes.  

Before he can lean in, he suddenly hears a ticking sound. When he looks up to see where it comes from, he sees the familiar number appear above your head. All the blood disappears from his face when he realises what it means.  

You were his last assignment. 

He pulls away from you in shock but also disappointment. Out of everyone it had to be you. 

You open your eyes when you feel him pull away and ask if everything is alright. The look on his face tells you it’s not but he doesn’t say anything. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I-I think I should go,” he tells you. 

It’s so clearly visible, there is only one day left. 

Before you can say anything else your bus arrives and he is suddenly nowhere to be seen.  

You reach for your phone to call him but you realise you never asked for his number nor that you have ever seen him use his phone. 

-- 

With a heavy heart and trembling hands, he takes out his list but doesn’t unfold it. This can’t be right. It can’t be you out of everyone in this city. He wishes so desperately that he is wrong but he knows he isn’t. He saw the numbers above your head, just like he had seen them for every one of the people he had to bring together. Indicating how long he had to find the right person for them and complete his task. It was tricky at first but after the first few couples, he got the hang of it and it actually became something he looked forward to. Because the look on everyone’s faces after he sealed their love for each other, was priceless.

But not this time, every second that passes makes him want to stop. It doesn’t even matter if he can get his life back now because what was the purpose of it if you were not going to be there with him? But he has no choice, he has to if he does not want to disappear completely.  

The paper feels rough on his fingers almost as if it’s digging into his skin, mocking him for even hoping something would work out for him. He knew he should never have let his guard down for you but it’s not like he could prevent it. Not with you.  

But the harsh reality is staring back at him once he unfolds and reads your name. The golden letters shine under the city lights. Was this why everything seemed so easy? Because he would be backstabbed in the end? Was this the reason why only this mission was written in riddles? So, he could feel his heart crumbling down while he solved it? Was this all a cruel joke he had to pay for just because he wanted a second shot at life? 

Jungwoo looks up at the sky with tears in his eyes as his hand crumbles the paper into a ball. But no matter how much pain he feels, the world just goes on. The buzzing of the city doesn’t die down nor do the stars stop sparkling in the night sky. 

-- 

One more day and all of this would end. 

Strolling through the streets he sees everyone setting up the last bits of decorations for valentine’s day. Everywhere he looks he sees pink and red hearts, flowers and signs. He wishes he could be here for it, to see the full effect of his hard work. The streets would be filled with people in love, falling in love and wanting to love. 

You’d be too...once he completes his mission, you’d be loved by someone that you love too. You’d be happy...with someone else. You’d spend your days with that person from now on... 

No matter how much he tries to prepare himself for it, he can’t accept it. How could he when he was in love with you? How could he be okay with binding you to someone else while he will disappear from your life? 

The one thing that slightly calms down his wavering feelings is the fact that your partner’s name has not yet been revealed to him. While waiting does make him anxious, he feels comforted by the thought he doesn’t have to go out and find them just yet.  

Then he feels it again, the same thing he felt on the bus. Everything and everyone seems to stop moving, even the snow falling down has stopped mid-air. This time whoever something happens. Golden light surrounds him and disappears into his pocket. Once reaches down he pulls out the list and the parchment, both being lit up by the light. But no matter how many times he looks and rereads them, nothing about them changes. 

As he follows the beam of the light, he sees the same ticking clock that has appeared on his wrist. Four golden numbers reveal the same countdown he had seen that night with you. 

The world starts moving again and everyone resumes what they were doing. Yet again, no one else seems to have experienced what he just did. 

-- 

The bus stops right in front of him like it does every single day but none of it is the same. He hesitates to get on and almost turns back when he sees your face, smiling so brightly at him. He gives you a small smile back while getting on and walks towards you. Every step he takes feels heavier than the last one. The ticking of the clock becomes louder and louder in his ears. 

“You’re finally here! I missed you this morning”, he hears you say. Making all the noise in his head disappear. 

“Sorry, I missed the bus” he lies.  

The way you are looking at him tells him that you don’t believe him but you don’t pry further. 

“I want to ask you something”  

Jungwoo turns his head to you and smiles. But you can see the sadness in his eyes. It’s so intense that it makes your heartache.  

“What is it?”  

There are a million things you want to ask him but can’t bring yourself to. 

“Can I get your number maybe? I realised we never exchanged them and it would be easier if anything like this morning happens again...don’t you think?” you laugh awkwardly  

He chuckles before responding, “I’m sorry but my phone broke a while ago” 

“Oh! that’s totally fine...” 

Maybe he doesn’t want my number, you think to yourself. The familiar disappointing feeling settles in your stomach. Maybe he doesn’t like me that much after all... 

Jungwoo notices how your mood has dropped and it kills him to know it’s because of him. He didn’t lie to you, ever since the accident his phone had been broken... 

There is something he has been contemplating ever since he found out you were his last mission. Everything will come to an end if he does it. Everything he has worked for all of this time will vanish and leave this world like it never existed. 

He knows and yet he chooses you.  

“Do you maybe want to go on a date tomorrow? It’s Valentine’s Day...” he asks a bit unsure. 

With a bright smile, you look up at him and nod. 

“I’d love that!” you tell him. The feeling in your stomach turns into a million butterflies. 

-- 

03:00 

Jungwoo pushes his sleeve back up once he sees there are only three hours left for your binding. While it’s strange your partner’s name hasn’t shown up yet, he isn’t too worried because he has dealt with similar cases. 

He makes his way over to the door and grabs the handle, then hesitates. If he goes to you and the person you are meant to be with shows up, then he won’t be able to do anything but complete his mission. But if they do not show up, he’ll disappear right in front of your eyes once the timer reaches its end. 

Both of the options break his heart even more. 

Time passes by without him moving from his spot. Eventually, he lets go and goes back to sit down. No matter how hard he tries, he just can’t do it.  

He takes out the parchment one last time. 

“A step in the right direction after great hesitation. 

A twist of fate, On the destined date. 

The appointed hour, a blessing and curse combined,  

Your journey of one, six and eight.” 

The sun is setting already when he feels his wrist light up again. 

02:00 

You must be wondering where he is, he thinks. Your date was supposed to start half an hour ago... 

“Your journey of 1-6-8...168 hours?” he quickly takes out his list to see when he brought together his first couple of this year.  

Exactly one week ago. 

“A step in the right direction after great hesitation...But that doesn’t seem right? I didn’t hesitate with any of the bindings...” 

That’s when it hits him. 

“I hesitated to get close to y/n!” 

His wrist begins to hurt as the light seems to have become brighter. 

01:30 

You’re standing in front of the café you agreed to meet at. An hour has passed and you still see no sign of him. But you keep waiting with the bouquet of pink roses and the new phone you bought him, in your hands.  

“He will be here”  

01:00 

“The appointed hour, a blessing and curse combined...The hour it’s all over! A blessing for y/n and a curse...for me?” 

So many things rush through his brain and he feels the blood streaming through his veins. His heartbeat is almost as loud as the cars passing by him. 

There is something he overlooked, something he completely disregarded in all of this. 

00:30 

“A twist of fate, On the destined date...” as soon as he reads out the remaining line, a sharp pain shoots through his arm. When he looks down, he sees the timer pulsating on his wrist.  

He grabs the edge he is sitting on as tightly as he can so he doesn’t fall off. He turns himself around and lets himself fall down on the concrete beside him. His hands are trembling uncontrollably and his breathing is staggered. There it is, the answer he has been looking for this entire time. Written in the same golden letters as your name and the clock. 

“Kim Jungwoo” 

He was the one fated to be yours.

00:20 

He gets up and sprints down as fast as he can, wishing with all that he has that you’re still waiting for him. 

00:10 

He arrives in front of the café but you aren’t there. He goes inside but you aren’t sitting at the many tables in the shop either.  

His wrist feels like it’s on fire and his lungs could give in at any moment, but he keeps running with the winter air hitting his face.  

00:05 

The tears running down his eyes disappear into the void before they reach the ground. He feels himself go weaker by the minute. Even his skin looks almost invisible. 

The bus stop is his last hope, it’s the only place he can think of and he so hopes he is right. The sounds around him start to quiet down and his surroundings become hazy. 

But he sees you so clearly. Standing at the bus stop like the very first time he saw you. 

“Y/n” he calls out with the last bit of energy he has left. 

00:00 

You turn around but there is no one. Only the occasional car passes by. The streets are as empty as you feel at the moment. For a slight second, you thought someone called your name, that he called your name. Maybe you just hoped for it... 

-- 

One year later 

“It’s that time of the year again everyone, love is in the air! And while this is a very happy day that we spend with a loved one, we’d like to remember the ones that no longer are with us. As they too deserve to be loved on a day like this. I’d first like to mention the devastating bus accident that happened exactly 5 years ago where a high school student named Kim Jungwoo, tragically left us after being hit by bus 32 while crossing the road. May he rest in peace and the people still mourning for him be given the strength to keep going forward. The second case we’d like to remember today...” 

You wipe away the tear running down your cheek while the radio beams through the bus. You're not even paying attention to what they're saying as you look at the seat next to you that is still empty. No matter how much time passes, there doesn’t go a day by where you don’t hope that he will get on and sit next to you. Tell you he is sorry for being late and flash you that smile you love so dearly. 

When you check the time on your phone, the photo you took of him is staring back at you. And a small smile appears on your face. “I’ll see you in a bit...” you whisper. 

After searching for so long, you found out where he went. For a long time, you tried to forget about him but you couldn’t. So, you searched for him everywhere. You resented him but you loved him. You couldn’t just let go thus you found him eventually... 

After ringing the bell you get off at the cemetery. 

You make your way through the different rows of headstones while you clutch the flowers tightly to your chest.  

You see a man standing at the place you were looking for. He keeps apologising for something and tears keep running down his cheeks. Eventually, you see him drop to his knees while letting out an agonizing scream. 

The sound of pure heartbreak in his voice is too much for you so you start crying with him as you can’t hold yourself back. 

After what seems forever you approach him and lay down the flowers in your hands.  

“Are you here for Jungwoo?” he asks you with a broken voice 

You slowly nod as you wipe your eyes. 

“Are you a family member? Oh, I’m sorry if I’m overstepping...” 

“No, I’m his best friend...”  

“Doyoung?”  

He looks up at you with a surprised expression on his face. “Do I know you?” 

“Jungwoo told me all about you” you explain. 

Doyoung looks at the headstone in front of him with a pained expression on his face. 

“Did he mention how I’ve been an awful friend?”  

You shake your head slightly and say, “actually he spoke very highly of you. He told me you were always there for him. And that he was glad he was able to meet a friend like you.” 

The tears keep falling down his face. 

“I don’t deserve to be remembered like that. Not- not after what I did to him...” 

“I’m sure he thinks differently. He never once spoke badly about you. He never spoke badly about anyone, to begin with...” 

“He didn’t...he loved a lot, too much sometimes.”  

“So, you shouldn’t talk about yourself like this, he wouldn’t have wanted it.” 

Slowly but surely, you both fall into a deep conversation about the one you held so dearly to your heart. 

“Could you tell me what happened, please?” you ask unsurely 

Doyoung takes a deep breath and looks down at his hands on his lap. 

“He got bullied all throughout high school. There was no reason for it but they never stopped...Jungwoo never liked conflict so he would just bear all of it on his own. I tried to be there for him whenever but in senior year this new girl joined and he suddenly changed. Jungwoo caught feelings for her and that just added to everything. She was part of that group and when word got out that he liked her, the bullying became worse. There were days he would end up in the hospital but even then, it didn’t matter to him because she cared about him. But that wasn’t the case because she is the reason he isn’t here anymore.” 

A fresh set of tears start to roll down his face. 

“He didn’t believe she had bad intentions. I-I should have stopped it....it was valentine’s day just like today, a few days before his birthday when she asked him to come help her because she was stuck at school. I warned him not to believe her and asked him not to go...but I didn’t stop him when he insisted. He said he just wanted to check if she was safe...I don’t know what happened inside but when I went after him, he was already running out while crying...he didn’t look good; they had hurt him. Then-then...he ran across the street...I was too late...I let it happen before my eyes...” 

You stroke his back in an effort to comfort him even though you barely can compose yourself. 

A heavy silence, only broken with an occasional snuffle settles in. 

“How did you know him?” you hear him ask after a while. 

“We both took the same bus home every day so we met naturally; it was spring when I saw him for the first time. I can’t believe it’s been a year already...It feels like yesterday when I went up to him-” 

Doyoung looks at you with a confused expression on his face, “What do you mean a year? Jungwoo has been gone for five years already...” 

You feel as if time has stopped yet again, your hands feel clammy and your head can’t comprehend what he is telling you.  

“That’s not possible...I even took this photo of him” you take out your phone again with shaky hands. But when you look down at your screen to show him, your phone falls out of your hand. 

He is no longer there.

[jaembilog]

bugso – pt. 1

bugso /bug·soʔ/ ngalan. biglaang pagmamadali; pagsabog (ng ulan, hangin, bagyo, apoy, sakit, atbp.) biglaang pagsiklab; matindi (ng damdamin)

character: boyfriend!jungwoo x reader

genre: angst

a/n: written in tagalog and english. this is merely a sliver of my imagination. the fictional character in this story do not, in any way, represent any idol. and nobody deserves to be in a relationship where they feel unloved. :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

gustong-gusto mong sinusuot ang mga damit ni jungwoo, lalo na ang mga hoodie niya. imposible naman kasing kayanin ng isang layer lang ng damit ang lamig ng silid-aralan ninyo. iba pa ang comfort na dulot ng mga damit niya; parang ramdam mo ang mga yakap niya sa lambot at bango.

parehas niyong hindi alam kung ilang damit na niya ang nasa cabinet mo, at sa totoo lang, wala ka namang pake dahil hindi naman din niya hinahanap.

'yon ang akala mo.

sa punto de vista ni jungwoo, medyo nakakairita na ang gawain mong ito. ang mga paborito niyang suotin ay unti-unti nang nawawala. iniisip niya na kung magpapatuloy ang ganito, wala na talagang matitira sa kaniya. kaya naman naisipan niyang pagsabihan ka tungkol dito.

kausap mo ang mga kagrupo mo tungkol sa isang group activity nang maramdaman mong nagvibrate ang cellphone mo sa kaliwang bulsa ng iyong pantalon. napangiti ka naman agad dahil alam mong si jungwoo ito.

nawala saglit ang iyong kilig at napalitan ng kaba. pero sinubukan mong huwag mag-isip nang masyado at nagreply na lang.

nagkita kayo ni jungwoo sa ground floor malapit sa entrance ng cafeteria. "ang daming tao," isip mo. napalingon naman agad sa'yo ang nobyo mo, sabay higit sa'yo papunta sa gilid niya at inakbayan ka naman nito agad. napalakas pala ang pagkakasabi mo.

pagkatapos niyong pumila para bumili ng kakainin ninyo, agad naman kayong umupo sa usual spot niyo sa cafeteria. "kumusta exam mo kanina?" tanong mo agad sa kaniya, alam mo kasing ilang araw na niyang pinaghahandaan ang long exam nila sa isang professional course.

"ok lang," maikli niyang sagot, sabay tuloy sa pagnguya.

ni hindi ka man lang tiningnan, ang cold pa ng pagsagot. ano kayang problema nito? tumagilid naman ang ulo mo na para bang nagpapacute, sabay subok ulit na kausapin siya. "ang lambot nitong hoodie mo, baka pwedeng akin na lang?" biro mo sa kaniya.

"bakit, sa lahat ba ng hiniram mo may binalik ka na? kulang na lang iuwi mo buong cabinet ko, nahiya ka pa. pwede bang kumain ka na lang? nakakapagod ka."

nakakapagod ka. nakakapagod ka. nakakapagod ka.

paulit-ulit ang sinabi ni jungwoo sa utak mo. hindi mo alam kung paano ka magrereact o sasagot man lang. akala mo kasi natutuwa siya tuwing suot mo ang mga gamit niya. nabanggit niya kasi noon na kinikilig siya tuwing may ginagamit kang kaniya, dahil para bang pwedeng-pwede niyang ipagmayabang sa iba na ikaw mismo ay pagmamay-ari niya.

nagulat din ang nobyo mo sa mga salitang lumabas sa bibig niya. pero hindi na rin niya alam kung paano ito babawiin, dahil kung meron mang paligsahan pagdating sa pataasan ng pride, baka tanghalin pa siyang kampyon. wala ka nang narinig sa kaniya kaya tumungo ka na lang at binilisang ubusin ang pagkain mo habang pinipigilang maiyak sa harap niya at ng sandamakmak na tao sa loob ng cafeteria.

naunahan mo siyang matapos kumain kaya tumayo ka na agad. hindi mo alam kung tama bang iwanan mo lang siya sa lamesa pero hindi mo na kayang magtagal pa dahil baka maiyak ka pa at maging topic pa ng mga chismoso't chismosa niyong schoolmates. agad ka namang dumiretso sa restroom at hinubad ang hoodie niya. maigi na lang at walang ibang estudyante sa loob dahil nakakahiya kung maririnig nila ang mga hikbi mo. pagkatapos mo ay dumiretso ka sa sink para ayusin ulit ang sarili at maghilamos ng mukha.

maayos mo namang tinupi ang hoodie ni jungwoo at nilagay ito sa locker niya. matapos nito, bumalik ka na rin agad sa classroom niyo.

pagkatapos kumain ni jungwoo, dumiretso rin siyang restroom nila at naghilamos na rin ng mukha. nahimasmasan siya at naisip niyang dapat inayos niya ang pagsabi sa'yo. pero wala na, huli na, nasaktan ka na niya nang sobra.

nang kukunin na niya ang textbook niya para sa next period nila, tumambad sa kaniya ang hoodie na kanina lang ay suot-suot mo. kanina nung nakangiti ka pa at masayang sinusubukan na makipag-usap sa kaniya. nagambala ang iniisip niya nang makatanggap siya ng text mula sa'yo.

he fucked up, big time. at alam niyang mahihirapan siyang mabuo ang winasak niyang self-esteem mo.

pt. 2 here !

[gyuswhore]

hello :) do you know anyone who would write about jungwoo?

i would literally pay for someone to write about jungwoo by perfume!

with a enemies to lovers or bestfriend to lovers with some smut, angst and fluff ,,, happy ending of course 😭

college setting? hm for angst part let it happen at a party yn sees jungwoo with another girl? something along those lines?? 😭

i would pay 20 like i'm serious esp if it's like over 10k pls

Im not taking requests rn but im replying so maybe someone can help you find one bc I haven't read any jungwoo fics like that!!!

If anyone has any recs for this anon pls let us know <3

or if anyone will write one for 20 lol

[rosietaeyongswife]

hello | kim jungwoo

HELLO PARING: kim jungwoo x reader GENRE: angst, break up, lovers to exes to strangers, WC: 6,5k SUMMARY: jungwoo loved you from the bottom of his heart and you shattered his soul into pieces. it took you about two years to collect yourself and try to say sorry for your actions but jungwoo isn’t avaible anymore no matter how much you’d try. it’s seems like he never home and it’s getting on your nerves. TW: tba READ HERE TBA

 jungwoo. whenever you pass around some places in south korea, and you get to hear ‘jungwoo’, your heart drop everytime. even if so much time passed from your last meeting, nothing can change the way you react for him. six years passed. six in total since break up. eight since you knew jungwoo. being eighteen was crazy when you think about back in time. being a teenager was crazy for you because you had no idea what’s coming to your life.

 little, innocent and young y/n wouldn’t believe that kim jungwoo was intrested in her at all. boy who back then was in his emo phase, made a lot of herts shake with only once glance. his eyes were always full of stars as you could call that. kim jungwoo held whole universe in them and no one was complaining tho. even if everyone was crushing jungwoo, his eyes were focused on you and only you. 

“don’t you think he just simply hate you, y/n?” miyeon asked while she was making coffee for you two in her house. miyeon and chaeyoung were the ones you always go for advice in everything, also they’re the ones who knows about jungwoo. “i know for you it’s such a big deal but he moved on for sure. and he hates you. don’t want to hear your voice and shit.”

“i mean, i’d hate you too if i was him. you left him because of children and your co-called life plan. i still think jungwoo didn’t deserve that at all.”

“i was dumb back then, alright?” you frowned at her. “it was difficult time for me. i was twenty when we started dating and twenty two when we broke up. it was hard time in my life, i didn’t know what i expected. i wanted to study in sydney, i got in. i had to leave.” girls shook their heads. “also, i don’t want children. not even one child. jungwoo always wanted to be a dad someday but i didn’t. why would i be with him if-”

“jungwoo loves you for four years. he loved you the second both of you had conversation, y/n. two years relatonship fucked up because you decided to leave for sydney. we respected your choice but haven’t you thought of jungwoo? you had boyfriend here, in seoul. and you decided to go.”

 that was truth. you planned to move out to sydney and live there. you wanted to become succesfull and plan didn’t include feelings. you tried to ask jungwoo to move with you but he wasn’t willing to do so.

“y/n, are you kidding me? you’re joking, right?” as jungwoo saw your reaction he brushed his hair back and laughed sarcastically. “we’re in a relationship and you’re going to leave me here because of sydney? didn’t you think about me? after everything i’ve done for you?

“jungwoo, i have family there. my uncle can help me in growth and job. i can grow there and do what i have to do. i love you that’s why i am asking you to come with me. i don’t want to leave you here.”

“y/n, you sound crazy. i have family here. job here. friends here. everyone is here.” jungwoo was looking at you with glance of something you couldn’t quite describe. “i don’t get it why would youu apply for university there. didn’t you think about me?”

“i was busy with my dre-”

“so you did not think of me at all.” look of dissapointment was all over his face. jungwoo was sensitive person and he knew he can no go longer. “you also have family here. why sydney?”

“more opportunities? i want to be succesfull, jungwoo. i don’t have time for kids, marriage or boyfriend if it means being able to do what i want. i can not and will never put you above my expetations.”

 you didn’t even notice when your words slipped through your lips striaght across jungwoo. first time jungwoo had heard such a cruel words from someone. from someone he loves. he gave you everything you needed and always showed you love. he did his best to make you happy and now you’re telling him, he’s not as important as it seems. 

“fuck you, y/n. you played with my feelings for what? i gave you my time and myself because i love you, and here you are telling me your dreams are more important than your own boyfriend. don’t you fuckin care about my feelings?”

“fuck me? no, go fuck yourself.” you hissed through your teeth. “i love you but it doesn’t mean i have to think of you whenever i want to make any kind of decission. who the fuck you think, you are? a fuckin god?”

“me? you’re most narcisstic bitch i have ever seen.” he now was pissed off. “you’re only focusing on yourself. you only love yourself. you even talk about yourself. when was last time you asked me ‘how are you’? you talk about yourself whole damn time. everyone has issues but not you. they are the problem but not you.” he was walkng closer to you with his finger pointing out on you. “even your friends are tired of you. i tried to act like i can’t see it but it’s impossible. egoistic, dumb bitch. that;s who you are.”

“i am narcisstic? you have issue just because i have high self esteem? i am confident?” you slapped his finger off. “maybe if i cared about you, i’d ask. don’t you think? and yes, everyone else has issues, not me. i am very thoughtfull but why would i be one towards someone who’s just person i spend some time with?”

“person i spend some time with?” he mocked you with sacrisstic tone. “i see two years of dating was just fun to you. you know, to have someone to have sex with or just to spoil you. i understand, my bad.” he turned around to grab his keys. “i wish you could see how in love with yourself you are. even your fuckin mother told you that so many times. where were you when she needed your help? in a fuckin pub down the seoul. that’s you, y/n.” angry tears went to his eyes. “i’m leaving. when i’ll be back better your thing won’t be there or i’ll put them on fire or throw through the window.”

“be careful to not come back to burned down house. fuckin asshole.”

 bang of closing door was heard and all you could do was to punch someone across the face and make them cry. no one in your life has ever made you so mad as you were in that moment, even when you had few spicy arguments. 

 rage took over you as soon as you remember all the mean things jungwoo has told you just few minutes earlier. without thinking much you destroyed frames with your pictures together, cups and few plates. taking all your things, you left his place and him forever.

“go fuck yourself kim jungwoo, you’re nothing without me.”

“i was just dumb back then. i didn’t think straight-”

“but all the words you aimed at him were cruel.” miyeon frowned. “jungwoo really didn’t deserve that kind of treatment and everybody know it. not gonna lie, even your parents thought the same when they met jungwoo and he told them everything.”

“stop making me villain again.” you rolled your eyes. “he was first one to call me names. i didn’t call him “narcistic bitch” or “seflish bitch in love with herself”. he was the one throwing them at me.” you were trying to defend yourself but it wasn’t enough. “besides, if he didn’t want to leave seoul why would he move to states? like, i don’t get it.”

 kim jungwoo decided to end his major in mechanical engineering here in south korea but fast forward after, he moved to united states with johnny suh, jung jaehyun and mark lee, as if their families lived there. jungwoo left two years ago. year after your come back from australia.

“propably he just grew up.” chaeyoung took a sip of wine. “i am not trying take a side, but y/n. you were the meanest bitch back then, for real. i still remember how you acted towards boys and people our age.” it was truth. you weren’t the nicest young adult. “jungwoo in fact didn’t deserve hell you put him through. moving to states gave him more opportunities.”

“well, i guess i’ll still gaslight myself into thinking i wasn’t too much for him.” you lied to yourself again for a hundreadth time. “nevermind. fuck my closure, i guess my brain just wants attention or something.”

 that was big, fat lie out of your mouth. mention of jungwoo made your evening ruined. the last thing you wanted was to have a lovely conversation with your friends about your ex, and how bad you treated him. of course, you knew it all. 

 few yaers passed and your stupid mind couldn’t get jungwoo out of itself. it was like karma was haunting you down for your past and what did you do to poor boy. at first, when you left to sydney right after fight with jungwoo, you thought he wasn’t really important to you. that he was just boyfriend you didn’t have feelings for, but you were wrong at so many levels. 

 months passed by, and your heart ached for jungwoo. whatever you have done, you were reminded of jungwoo. passed by shop - “jungwoo would love that”. movies, posts, music, shops, people - everyone was like jungwoo to you. after three months post break up, you were sure - you made big mistake. huge mistake. you loved him. kim jungwoo was loved by you, when you didn’t know it.

 six years after, and you still here at the same spot. trying to date? no way. whatever you tried, somehow everything ended due to your feelings. it felt so wrong to be in love with someone else without proper conversation with your beloved jungwoo. 

“good morning, mrs y/n? right?” woman with huge amount of accesories welcomed you in her small house at the weird neighbourhood of seoul. slowly you started to regret coming to tarot reader medium your friend recommended for you. “come here my love. sit down, please.”

“good morning.”

 whole place has very much of colour into it. paintins of weird creartures or of sun were all around the house. even tho it could look scary, you felt comfy.

“what brings you here, love?”

“i need advice or something.” it was embarrasing for you to confess. “i mean, i had no clue what to do and my firend sent me here. she told me you are like goddes. every answer you had given became true, so here i am.” you chuckled. “so.. i made a huge mistake six years ago.”

“six years? that can seem like much time but remember, time is just gift to us. it doesn’t matter. it’s never too late.” she smiled at you with comfort smile. “go on. what happened six years ago?”

“i had a boyfriend. lovely, puppy like boyfriend. he was with me for two years, and to be honest.. my boyfriend was like guy from books written by women. he was perfect.” thought of jungwoo and your past made you warm inside. “he loved me so much and i broke his heart. i choose career over him, i moved out from south korea to sydney. i left him. i was really mean to him back then since i wasn’t the nicest person.” she was looking at you with intrest boiling out her eyes. “i had no clue of my real feelings. i thought i didn’t love him that much but few months passed and i was crying myself to sleep because i missed him.”

“love, so do you want closure?” you nodd. “i think karma get the best of you. for your past, cruel actions you had to face punishment which was revealing of your feelings.” she was busy looking for cards and few others things. “should we see what your ex feels, love? about you? i’ll try to shuffle cards and let’s see what message he has for you.”

 in fact, you had never ever believed in tarot or other witchcraft practices but as soon as she told you about message from him through the cards, you felt excitment going through your whole body ready for answers. 

 after solid five minutes of shuffling, lighting up candles and some thinking, she was done with cards. she was looking at them carefully.

“i see your boyfriend is older, not much though. is it true?”

“yes, jungwoo is like one and half year older.”

“he moved out as well? i see him connected to western.” she said while having close eyes. 

“few years ago he moved out to states.”

“i see him being fully succesfull in his job. i see something conncected to physics and mathematics, is he engineer? or informatics? software engineer?”

“jungwoo studied mechanical engineering.”

 thrill of excitment went down your core as soon as she spoke, she knew everything for now and wasn’t wrong. how was that possible? instead of being scared you got invested into whole reading feeling sudden rush of fullfiling whatever she will tell you to do.

“i can see he loved you the most in the world back in the time. jungwoo was focused only on you, and i can see both of you were unusual couple. maybe one of you was quite popular? both even tho you were different, you got together. universe wanted you two together.”

“that’s truth actually.”

“i want you to know that his feelings were sincere. you were on top of his list of needs. he always put you first no matter what.” you nodded again with small smile. “now i see he is very succesfull and he lives his best life. i can see he’s very popular with people. everyone knows him and adores him because of his personality. it’s like he is a magnet.” she was closing her eyes harder. “few years passed but jungwoo still have a strong feelings towards you. i can not tell if it’s negative ones or positive ones since both are crazy strong.”

“does it mean he still thinks about me?”

“you can say so. it’s seems like he doesn’t want to admit to himself he still has place in his heart for you even after all you have done. jungwoo would like to meet you but at the same time he hates it. seems like he is conflicted with it.” she was now looking deep into your eyes. “i see that someone got intrested in him as well. someone is on their way for him.”

“someone?”

“yes. i think jungwoo pretends like he hates you because it’s makes him feel better but deep down he needs closure like you do. i suggest for you to meet.”

“meet? he lives in chicago, and i don’t know. i have job here.” you were thinking quickly. “i can-”

“but you should.” she stood up. “stars, cards and even my thoughts are telling me the same thing. go find him and talk. i feel second chance in the air. it’s seems like he had never fully grew out of feelings for you.”

 chaeyoung was looking at you like you gone crazy. packing your stuff into the suitcase while looking for the fastest flight to the chicago made your friends worry. yes, they suggested you to go to mrs. xieon but they didn’t expect you to go all the way to the united states just to find jungwoo and have a talk.

“i’ve contacted him about hundread times and he didn’t respond. if he’s not home, here.” you got up. “then i’ll find his new home. don’t ask me anymore questions. i’m going to the states and i’ll find kim jungwoo by myself.”

“y/n, you can’t believe in everything some witch told you.” miyeon was looking concerned and tried to stop you. “she could made it all up.”

“but she knew everything from the past. everything, miyeon. doesn’t seem like a scam to me, you know.”

“you’re doing it impulsivly, stop and let’s talk.”

“i don’t want to talk.”

 without much more words, you were on your way to the airport. seems like universe sent you signs to do it. even when kim jungwoo would go mad when he will see you, it doesn’t change a thing for you to stop. you two have to talk.

 streets of chicago were full of people walking fast. cars going one by one, and shouting of music or people could be heard all the way from the end of the steet. chaos didn’t stop you. hotel you are staying in for two weeks was close to your liking. all the stuff you had was already in there and while you were sitting on your comfy bed, you were looking through sites of engineering companies in chicago. you went through all the lists of employes you found.

 hour later and his name was showing on the site of “JONES”. his, now, red hair and bubbly smile made you chuckle to yourself. seems like jungwoo was happy during that photoshoot, and damn. he looked hot as well. 

 company of JONES was big as hell. few building attachted together making it huge plalce for an engineering company. few people were walking out the place and some entering. going inside made you almost throw up because of stress.

“hello, uhm excuse me?” you asked anxious when some woman from reception looked at you with raised eyebrow. “i have a question.”

“hello. do you work here?”

“uhm, no-”

“client?”

“again no-”

“then who are you?”

“i am y/n, and i’d like to ask about your employe.” you looked around. “kim jungwoo.”

“are you relative? if not, then i can’t tell you anything.”

“i am old friend.”

“then, i am so sorry but i can not tell you anything.”

“please, it’s really important.” your eyes were close to cry and you were about to beg her for any informations. “i know you can’t tell much but i have to contact him somehow.”

she looked confused due to your state. it’s seems like it’s really important for you sicne you stand here with big eyes. she looked around to check if no one is listening to your conversation.

“i can not tell you anything about his data but.” she bowed closer. “kim jungwoo end his duty in a twenty minutes. everytime he is done with work he heads to our cafeteria for coffee. i guess you could caught him there and talk.”

“thank you so much, oh lord.”

 woman gave you small smile and went back to her work. going to the cafeteria you ordered small latte. few employes passed by having small talk while you were waiting. not even noticing when your heart was beating fast and you were shaking. anxiety went all over you because somehow you weren’t ready for his reaction.

 you looked up and for a moment time stopped. it’s him. kim jungwoo was walking to order his usual while he spotted you. jungwoo felt close to vommiting at your sight. few people were watching their co-worker who stopped and was looking into unknown direction. 

 never has ever jungwoo thought his nightmare would happen during his work. he wasn’t ready for such a meeting.

“what the fuck are you doing here?” jungwoo was now standing by you looking you deadly in the eyes trying to hold his emotions. “how and why did you find me?”

“we have to talk, jungwoo.”

“talk?” he scoffed. “after six years you want to talk? there’s nothing to talk about, y/n.”

“jungwoo, please.” you tried to smile but failed as soon as you lifted your corners of lips. “i know, i know how fucked up that is. i know what i did. of course, i do and i want to talk.”

 your ex boyfriend was looking at you in disbelief. it felt like someone was holding his throat tight and he was unable to breath properly.

“did you come here all across from seoul?” nodd you gave him was only giving him weak knees. “for what? we were done the second i left my flat back then. you treated me like a trash and expect me to have a nice talk?”

“i fuckin need it! we were literally fresh adults, alright? i wasn’t best person to have around, i fuckin know it but please! let’s talk.”

 jungwoo could only scoff and hide his hands into his pockets. after all the time that passed you did not reach to him once. when you left, you didn’t even say good bye or apologize.

“you can kiss my ass, y/n.”

“jungwoo-”

“don’t fuckin come here again or i tell security guards.” 

 before you were ready for response, he was out of your sight. tall figure of your ex was fading away as you sunk down on your sit letting out breath you had no clue you were holding. you didn’t expect such a behaviour from him. you really did mess up that time.

“i guess you’re y/n.” some man stood by you. “here’s jungwoo’s number. he won’t know you get it from me. let’s say it’s a gift.”

 man was out of sight again. you had no clue who was it and when it all happened. everyhting felt like a dream and you only wanted to disappear out of this world for a second. even that weird guy who gave you jungwoo’s number, who is he?

feeling of embarrasment was going through you when you were sitting down on your bed looking at your phone. big letters “jungwoo” written on your screen as you were thinking of what to do. three days passed since you met him and it felt humilating to try to contact him. but if you don’t, you knew you won’t move on. you need to have closure with jungwoo. apologize to him and being forgiven.

“who’s there?” his voice already gave you chills. “hello?”

“hi, it’s me again.”

“gosh, y/n.” he scoffed. “how did you get my number?”

“it doesn’t matter. we still have to-”

“no, we don’t have to do anything. stop calling or i’ll report you for stalking.”

“wait, i am not done.”

“but i am.”

 call was ended. heavy breathing was making you dizzy from all that happened. again.

 jungwoo was avoiding you for his life. he even got some kind of paranoia of meeting you at whatever place he is. even his roommates - johnny and jaehyun, realized something is off. he couldn’t explain his feelings well. part of him waited few years for that moment, but other part hates you the most in the world. 

 you at the other hand can’t give up. mrs. xieon told you he still have strong feelings for you and it’s worth to try and fix your past. but it’s seems like everything is going in bad direction. how in the world are you going to have a normal talk with kim jungwoo?

“hi jungwoo.” your voice was soft. “i have no idea if you are going to listen to that voice message but i really do hope you will. last few days were harsh on me, i guess for you too. my sudden appearance was shocking, i know. and no, i am not stalking you. i can’t tell you how did i get your phone number but it’s quite funny.” small chuckle left your mouth. “it feels like i am teenager again. chasing after someone out of my reach. i didn’t know it felt like that, you know. i’d hate me too if i were you. that’s so fucked up, gosh. for you it’s propably doesn’t matter but for me it’s huge issue. my past karma get me.” you hissed at the memory of your actions. “i just need closure. i need to talk with you, and fix everything. be sorry. of course, i am sorry for everything i’ve done in the past.” with your shaking hands you reached for your phone to hang up. “i wish you happines. hope you’re doing fine. y/n.”

 red was pressed and phone call end. reliev was felt and you could feel bit better than past few days. all the things you kept in yourself was only making you dizzy. kim jungwoo won’t get rid of you easily.

 another few days passed like that. you woke up, eat, watch some netflix in a hotel, go out to buy something to drink, come back drunk and record your messages for jungwoo. weird kind of warmness was going through your body, it was like jungwoo already knew your whole life story from the break up towards today.

what could be more surprising was the fact jungwoo was listening to your voice messages. every night at the same hour, he lays down with his airpots and phone. getting comfortable, checking if he’s alone and he press play. experience was close to face to face converstion. he had no clue he enjoyed every single bit of second of your voice messages.

 every date you described or close moments together, brough him memories he had no clue he stored in his mind. at the other hand, you had no idea that jungwoo was listening to all your stories you told him through imessges. 

“hello jungwoo. my visit in chicago was already two months ago. crazy how fast it happened, right? i am not mad, of course, but deep down i had little bit of hope we’d meet. visiting all the places in there made me feel like 22 again. as i was turning back time.” you giggled while doing your tasks for work. “i don’t remember if i mentioned to you that i met your mum two years ago in a store. she asked me about you a lot. she even invited me over for a dinner but yeah, i couldn’t attend. she is still cute and youthful as i remember. hope you call her often. she misses you a lot from what i heard. even if you’re not responding to my messages..” smile creeped on your lips while thinking of him. “i feel better now. it’s like i explained a lot of things i had no chance to do back in times. i have to go. bye, y/n.”

“y/n.” chaeyoung sat down on couch with hands full of snacks. “i thought you’re going to buy something else. why would you always buy things for yourself?”

“because she’s still selfish bitch.” miyeon mocked you while you could roll your eyes. “i am not even lying.”

seflish bitch only bring memories of him.

“because you’re horrible at picking food for us. my taste in food is the best and no one can complain about it. literally no one. if you had issue then you should go buy them yourself.”

“easy, i’m going to eat that anyway.”

 three of you are going to have sleep over at miyeon’s place. since everyone is busy with work, none of you could gather up together and spend some time. movies night seems cool for you so here you are. cozy with blankets and favorites snacks.

“damn.” miyeon paused movie ‘hangover’ whcih annoyed you quickly. “seunkwang is calling me.”

“then pick up.”

“don’t pick up.”

“y/n, stop.” she rolled her eyes. “i have to. wait.”

 seunkwang was miyeon’s fiance and of course, he was good boyfriend for miyeon and he really was great guy after all but whenever three of you hang out he is calling miyeon as crazy asking millions of questions even if it’s not necessary. 

“mama’s boy propably has issues with doing laundry.” you got up to use toilet while chaeyoung chuckled at your assumption.

“propably yes. seunkwang is just bad at basic things, you know.”

 you used toilet, checked instagram and text your co-worker, while miyeon was still busy with call. even chaeyoung got impatient with yours friend. as soon as phone call ended, miyeon came with grin on her face.

“i know we were supposed to have sleepover but seunkwang said he’s in that popular club with his other friends like mingyu, joshua and hoseok. c’mon, we should go with them. they’re really cool and rumour has it that three of them are single. perfect for you, girls.”

“i don’t care, we were supposed to spend time together, miyeon. seunkwang and you spend literally everyday together while we hang out once few weeks now. tell him and his ass friends to fuck off.”

“no.” chaeyoung got up. “let’s get fucked up.”

“chaeyoung-”

“we should have fun. we’ve been busy with work so much that we really didn’t have time for real fun like drinking and clubs. we’re going out.”

 and with that, two of your best friends and four of not known gusy are having fun at table of some big club at the street of gangnam. chaeyoung had fun talking with joshua while mingyu was trying hard to impress you.

“i work under my father business. we sell new technology around the world, and we’re pretty known overseas.” you could smile at his attempts of impressing you. “i enjoy my life and work to be honest. arragment of meetings, work with other countries and doing fun things. that’s dope.”

“i am glad you live your dream life. must be fun to be son of ceo.”

“of course it is. my father is literally the coolest person ever.”

 jungwoo stood in front of doors to your place with shaking body. his legs felt like cotton candy and hands were sweating as hell. normal conversation with you must be like a fever dream and no one was ready for it unless it was kim jungwoo himself. he had enough time to rethink every little thing you told him. he wants to get closure as well.

first knock, nothing. second, nothing. third.. four..

seems like you’re not home.

 look of disappointment was all over his face when he realized you’re not home. jungwoo came to south korea just day ago and tommorow is his flight back to chicago. there’s not much time left before his flight. 

“are you looking for y/n?” woman around her 30s’ was standing in a pink couth and bouqete of flowers in her hands while watching male in front of her. “i am her neighbour, by the way.”

“uhm, alright? yes, i am looking for her. is she in work or?”

“she’s out with her friends. i was texting with her for a while just thirty minutes ago.” she smiled. “she’s in a club with miyeon and chaeyoung. club in gangnam called ‘beaches’, i hope you know what i am talking about.”

“thank you so much.” he smiled at her. “i think i know where i should head to. again, thank you. you saved me actually.”

“no worries. glad to help.”

 without wasting much time, jungwoo was already on his way to the location your neighbour told him. club she mentioned was well known in a seoul and everyone hang out there with their friends and get really fucked up. being you, you always loved such a places like that club because you felt free thanks to them, and jungwoo was very aware of that.

 coming towards club was period of time when jungwoo was thinking of all scenarios that can possibly happen or words he should be using while talking with his ex. nothing could help him with stress he fult during moment. especially after all the events from past few months.

 big window of club revelaed you and some guy. he was wearing all black and you were laughing at whatever bullshit he was talking to you. jungwoo looked confused as hell because in none of your messages you metioned other boy. not like you have to but at leas he’d appreciate fact of you dating or whatever. 

even from afar, jungwoo could felt how drunk you are. through window he could notice your pinkish cheeks and that wide, gummy smile. guy who was with you, was busy with showing you something on his phone while you couldn’t focus much.

“y/n, i know that sounds dumb but you’re really cute.” mingyu was smiling from eye to eye. “can i possibly kiss you?”

 before you could anwer, all you felt was his lips on yours. everything happened way too quickly for you to react at whatever was going on. intentions of kissing someone else wasn’t on your bucket list for tonight.

 jungwoo felt embarrase and stupid. coming all across from united states for you just to see you with another guy wasn’t worth of dedication. at that specific momet he regret he listened to all of your voice messages. he should’ve blocked you from the start and don’t bother coming to seoul with good intentions. 

morning hangover made you almost throw up. headache was so strong you felt like crashing your skull on some furniture or cutting it off. bedroom you were in wasn’t even yours and body next to you wasn’t even important.

“fuck, i am sorry.”

“are you leavin already?” mingyu looked over his shoulder. “you can stay and-”

“no, i have to go.” you smiled. “have a nice day, bye.”

 thankfully your apartament was close to mingyu’s place. going all over stairs made you dizzy because of hangover you still felt. as usally your neighbour passed by cause every morning at 9 am she’s heading to her work.

“oh, y/n.” she was smiling warmly at you. “did you and that boy meet? i hope he found you becacuse he looked very worried.”

“boy? excuse me, what are you talking about jieun?”

“so he didn’t?” she whined. “boy, very tall. around six foot maybe? very handsome with puppy eyes? he was looking really good and he smelled good but with a scent of cigarettes. seemed little bit like a teenager because of his appearance but i could tell he is much older.”

 all pieces get together in your head and your heart stopped at the moment.

“fuck, kim jungwoo.” 

“who?”

“nevermind. he was looking for me, right? did he tell you something else?”

“not really. he said something like i saved him and he’s in rush.”

 without responding to her or going all the way up to your apartament, you wend downstairs and called an uber already. if jungwoo’s still here, he must be at his mum’s house.

 knocking on the door of mr. kim house was making you stressed. you haven’t been here since break up.

“who-” jungwoo’s mum stopped in track. “y/n? what are you doing here?”

“is jungwoo home? i need to talk with him.”

“i’m sorry love. jungwoo left some time ago to airport. his flight home is in two hours and he have few things to do.”

“fuck.” you hissed. “thank you so much but do you know where he could be?”

“i guess he is in that small cafeteria. he isn’t going on a airplane without good coffee.”

“right. thank you.”

 jungwoo never seem to be home. whenever you called, visited or texted. he is out of your reach and that flustrates you. why is universe so harsh on you? you already apologize so many times yet nothing’s better rather opposite.

“kim fuckin jungwoo.”

 tall man next to you flinched because of sudden call for his voice.

“y/n? why are-”

“no, i am asking questions now. why were you looking for me?”

“huh?” he raised his eyebrows. “ah that. forget about that, that’s nevermind.”

“no, i won’t forget. tell me why.”

“it’s not important.”

“it is, damn. can you tell me? can we act like an adults not like a fuckin kids?”

“alright, alright. i was looking for you because i wanted to talk. i’ve been listening to your messages and i felt that strong desire to sit down and meet. closure i suppose.” he took a sip of his coffee. “but it doesn’t matter now.”

“what? why? we still have time. we can talk, c’mon jungwoo.”

“y/n, you already forget about all the texts you sent me.” he could shook his head. “i’ve seen you yesterday with some guy. seems like you had a good time which is cool, of course.”

 your heart ached suddenly. yesterday. good time. guy.

“mingyu? fuck, no. i was drunk shit and he just kissed me out of blue. i don’t really remember anything, it doesn’t matter.” you touched his hand. “can we talk? right now.”

“you see y/n. for a moment i was mad at myself for acting that way towards you. i was wrong for that but i still just can not process your change. old y/n i’ve known is gone now which is super good but also that means our connection is gone as well. there’s nothing more to talk about. fix things, that’s what you wanted?” you nodded while processing all the words that came out this man’s mouth. “then it’s done. i forgive you. our past is clear now. closure you wanted, right.”

 whole situation felt like a knife went down your heart destroying it to pieces. literally moment and things you waited so long for happened. your wish came true but why were you sad? why wasn’t it enough?

“jungwoo, we’ve been apart for a six years and that’s hella time. i wanted to talk about everything not about summary of our-”

“i don’t need more explenation of your behaviour. i don’t care now. i forgave you the moment you sent me first message. thank you.” all of sudden you were in jungwoo’s arms. “not hard feelings now. i should be sorry for anything i’ve said to you when you visited me at work. i was an asshole and i deserve solid slap for that. but since we’re good now, let’s leave past in the past. i don’t want to cry over spilled milk again.”

 his words made a lot of wounds on your heart which made you only sadder.

“cry over spilled milk?” you frowned. “you’re right but it doesn’t mean to be strangers again.”

“it’s better that way. hope you have what you wanted so bad.”

 jungwoo was trying hard to not fall and break the character. he couldn’t show you he’s weak and his real emotions. he had to be harsh on himself and you because he knew he can’t do it other way. left you there even tho he had much more to say.

 you were just speechless. closure you were craving made you ashamed. sad. disappointed. not exactly what you expected. dreaming of that moment was different comparing to the reality. how was that possible.

 jungwoo was busy with work. he was doing everything to not think about you while you were disconnected with world. reality. meeting with your ex wasn’t good for you. small hopes you had was fooling you towards the end. 

kim jungwoo was holding his phone with a whine. small, red text was written on his screen as he was listening to all the messages you sent. with breaking heart he pressed “delete” then “block” knowing he did right thing.

“you can not contact that number”- appeared on your screen when you were going through messages with your ex. your ex lover and someone you regret loosing, kim jungwoo was done with you for best. little history of you two ended here.

[mooniconic]

Chapter 5

CW: Smut (Minors skip this pls), Yuta and Jungwoo being assholes.

AN: We're finally here. Just a few more chapters left and this is done. If you started reading this, thank you for reading. :)

The next day you all met up at the office lobby so you guys could take the company van to the filming spot. Johnny was going to drive the van and he asked you to sit next to him, Ten looked at you knowingly, and you were confused but knowing Ten, he had a reason. It was an hour's drive from the office and you guys were listening to music. Kun was going over the script for the day; giving notes to everyone in the car. When the car stopped during traffic, Johnny’s hand gripped yours for a few seconds with a smile on his face. You tried to contain your grin and you shifted your focus to the car window; unbeknownst to you, the members of the team were also hiding their smiles.

Kun divided the team in half, one was in charge of the group interviews, and the other was the confessionals. This was a big project and you didn’t want to mess this up for anyone, before you got out of the car Johnny pulled you aside, “Avi” he says softly and for some reason it makes your tummy feel funny. “Yeah?” you ask just as softly, “If Yuta does anything..” He pauses “Just let me know if you need me okay? No matter how busy I might be just call me over.” Johnny says firmly but he’s gentle. “Okay” your face is unreadable but you add “thank you, Johnny.” and you offer him a smile. He smiles at you and lightly puts his arm on your shoulders as you both walk up to the front door.

Kun was helping Jisung and Jaemin set up the interview room for the solo interviews while you and Johnny were running the questions by the 127 managers. Chanyeol walks to you and asks if he could speak to you privately. You agreed and follow him to the hallway by the stairs.

“Avi, are you the one asking the questions during the interview?” he gets to the point.

“No, sir.”

“Okay good. I want you to not be around Yuta during this interview.” He says it with a hint of annoyance, at least that’s what you think it is.

“Um yes, I’ll try to shift with Johnny when it’s Yuta’s turn.” You mumble softly.

“I just don’t want him to pull something stupid like he almost did the other day.” He says with a sigh.

“I get it,” you say softly

“I’ll get back to my team, sir.”

You walk back to the recording studio located in the basement of the house 127 uses as their creative space, whatever that means. You were helping Ten set up the mic that your team was going to use for the confessionals, when Ten nudges you to look at who was coming down the recording studio, it was Yuta, he walks up to you and handed you a cup of coffee. “Here, I know you can't work without it.” He said with a small smile, and once you apprehensively took the cup from him, he walks back up to the stairs leaving you, Ten, and Jaemin a bit lost for words.

“Do you want coffee?” you offer the cup to Ten and he makes a sick face “I’m not drinking that.” you laugh and put the cup on top of the side table. Jaemin looks at you and then at the cup then back at you “Can I have that?” “Sure, Jaems you can have it.” which makes you and Ten giggle. You hear someone coming down the basement stairs again, it’s Hendery and Johnny. I'll be the one in charge of this team,” Hendery tries to say in his most confident voice but his face betrays him because he looks scared af. “Aye aye captain.” Ten teases him but quickly looks at Johnny “What are you doing here?” He raises an eyebrow. “I’m just giving Avi her coffee fix,” He hands you an iced americano “Uber eats.” He says knowing you would ask when he bought the coffee. You thank him which is now a thing with how often you thank him.

“Johnny. Can I talk to you?” You lead him inside the recording booth and you start telling him about what Chanyeol has said to you. “Has he tried anything so far?” he asks, concern washes his face, “A bit. He gave me coffee, but I gave it to Jaemin,” you say looking at Jaemin drinking the warm cup of coffee while he checks the main camera. “Nothing I can’t handle, but if it’s his solo interview I have to switch with you if that’s okay… I just don't want to be a bother.” Johnny holds your hand “You’re never a bother, Avi. never ever,” He emphasizes his words. “I’ll tell Kun so he won’t freak out just text me when it’s his turn, yeah?” He squeezes your hand and starts walking you both out of the booth, Ten gives you both a look and playfully says “oh my god just date already.” You look at him confused “huh?” You say and this earns a few giggles from the people in the room, you look down to your left hand and see that Johnny is still holding it, you blush and he slips his hand out of your own, for a split second you almost reach out and grabbed it back, but you remember that you were here for work… with your ex’s band. So you just give him a small smile and tell him to get back upstairs. ______________________________________________________________

The first interview has been okay, Winwin-Sicheng to his close friends, was insightful about the band’s dynamics. He revealed that Yuta and Jungwoo were the closest among all of them and how their band started in college when all of them were taking a vocalization elective, a class you knew well because Yuta was excited about learning how to sing. Winwin said that that’s where it all started for 127 and how they were inseparable ever since; Yuta being the glue of the band, automatically finding common ground among all of them. Everyone would smile whenever Winwin would reminisce about the band’s start because he would get excited and his eyes would light up, even when he was talking about the dingy bars they first played at, where just 1 person was cheering for them or the time they were booed off the stage by some rowdy dudes. He said all of those things made 127 determined to practice more and to write better songs.

Before you knew it, Winwin’s interview was over and you were all saying your thank yous, he shook your hand and whispered “thank you for helping us”, you smiled at him and said, “Thank you too.” Winwin was the nicest out of Yuta’s bandmates, he was the one who would often help out when you were the band’s first roadie. Winwin might be the person who has less to say but his actions would speak volumes.

You look at the list of the next person, and to your surprise, it was Jungwoo, the band’s keyboardist. He came up with the band’s name after getting inspiration from their vocal class. He’s civil with you but he’s friendly with the others, you pay it no mind you expected him to take Yuta’s side. He sat down at the interview chair while hair makeup touch up his already perfect face, Jungwoo might look like a literal fallen angel, but there are reasons why he’s here and not in heaven, the man has gotten into more fights than any other member. He’s always ready to defend his bandmates whether that makes him look bad as long as his band is intact.

Ten was reading the questions as you help with sound. “What made you want to be part of 127?”

Jungwoo mulls the questions for a few seconds “Yuta.” He smiles and looks at the camera “he convinced all of us that we were bound for something greater. He was supportive of all of us.”

“Can you tell us about how you started? Despite 127’s fame most of your start has not been talked about.” Ten phrases the question well.

Jungwoo basically repeats what Winwin said about meeting at vocal classes and how Yuta roped them into hanging out that one time. Jungwoo remembers just hanging out at Yuta’s dorm room since he’s the only one with a roommate who pledged in a frat and has been living by himself. They bonded over Fifa and have the same taste in movies. Yuta helped out Jungwoo pick out good professors for his piano majors and Mark helped Yuta with his composition classes. They were a bunch of music majors bonding over random shit until Yuta drunkenly asked them to form a band together, everyone either tipsy or drunk from a random house party that Avi’s friend threw, they agreed. They pushed Yuta to be the frontman as he writes lyrics best out of the group and to be fair the only one with confidence to stand in front of a crowd with only a mic stand shielding him from the audience’s eyes.

After Jungwoo reminisces about their group’s roots and how things weren't glamorous at the beginning and how Haechan pranks them by slightly playing the drums at a faster pace to keep them on their toes sometimes. He talks about the fights they had about arrangements, new songs, and tour schedules.

“Tour really brings out the best and worst in us. We’re all cool being together every day, but if one of us is in a bad mood it affects us all.” Jungwoo says exasperatedly but he’s playful. Teasing. Trying to see if you’re going to react. “Yuta was incredibly moody when on the road,” he chuckles. “He would miss his girlfriend, oh ex-girlfriend. Like he’ll be upset if he won’t hear from her during the day. Sometimes it would affect our performances too.”

“Ex-girlfriend?” Ten says tentatively.

“Yeah. I guess that secret is out of the bag,” Jungwoo says with a chuckle.

“Yuta dated this girl even before we were 127. She helped us in the start like with our bar gigs and stuff. She helped out with our logistics and stuff before we got signed and most of our songs are about her. Yuta was so in love with her,” Jungwoo says without missing a beat. He’s aware you’ve gotten red, but he continues.

“He’d like miss practice just to see her, one time he almost left tour just so he could be with her. It definitely caused a fight,” he says lightheartedly but there was a hint of venom in his words.

Ten shifts uncomfortably but continues to the next question “You’ve mentioned that most of the band’s songs were about her? How’s the voting process for songs to be written and included in the album?”

Jungwoo thinks about the question for a minute before he answers “Well when one of us has a demo for a song then we send it in the group chat then we talk about it in person in our meetings, we sometimes tend to argue why a certain song should be on an album or why we should make a new one then when everyone is like okay with it then we talk to management.” he says earnestly. “We all got to agree on the songs first, usually Yuta convinces us with the songs he writes haha when you interview him, you’ll find out how smooth of a talker he really is,” Jungwoo smiles.

“Is there a song you really like from your discography?” Ten asks.

“Yeah, it’s Magnets. That song got us a lot of love and mostly coz the meaning of the song is something all of us relate to. We were all going into something unknown with each other.”

“But Yuta wrote it about falling in love. You get it with someone who sparks a change in you, someone you think is going to be with you through this unlearning or learning depending on like where you’re coming from. You change to be with the person who inspired this change but when that relationship fails, you can’t return to the person you once were. That kind of love will change you and it can make you better or worse, you know? But then there’s still a bond that can’t be broken. Something will always pull you back together just like magnets, that love will somehow like shit I don't know? find a way to bring you both back? A relationship that changes both people in it? That's something that never goes away because you both fall in and for the most part you want to come out of the other end with each other even if you’re both different… even when you hate each other at the other side.” He said with a sigh at the end.

“For me? It was going all-in with the band, I wasn't sure if we were going to be successful but I wanted to try with those boneheads. They’re people who I wanted to like be better with, I’ve never been with a group of guys that were supportive of each other. So I want to be with them until the end,” Jungwoo smiles at that.

“You know he wrote this about his ex? His parents thought she influenced him in changing his major and like leaving their dreams of him being a piano master or something. They really thought of her as the devil…”

Before Ten asks to elaborate Jungwoo speaks again “She was the devil as she was the reason why we almost broke up. It was the worst but we got through it, just Magnets never letting go of that bond,” he says with resolution.

You were quiet after Jungwoo looked at you pointedly. There was a slight smirk on his lips as you looked at the floor, trying to ignore the eyes of the people around you. You feel a presence next to you and when you look up it was him, the man who left you, the man who had a silver tongue who had everyone fooled and had you second-guessing your thoughts. You look at him but he ignores you and waits till Jungwoo reaches him to give him a high five, Jungwoo barely looks at you as his eyes are on Yuta giving him a signal that he said what they planned to say. Yuta chuckles and taps Jungwoo’s shoulder to tell the younger man to head up to the other set, “You didn’t drink the coffee I gave you?” he says softly a playful tone to match the amused look he has on his face. “No,” you say with a flat tone. “You always throw away my love, Avi,” he smirks at you, you know he’s playing you right now because he knows you wouldn’t want to cause a scene, some things never change. Before you could answer him he heads back up the stairs “Mark and I exchanged timeslots so it’s his turn.”

You close your mouth and ignore the pity in the eyes of your workmates, “Do you need me to alter the questions for Mark?” you ask Hendery and for a second he forgets that he was the director of this group “y-yeah, just hand them over, Avi.” The interview went well, Mark was always the excited one when it came to interviews and he breezed through the questions even the ones that came with their songs’ subject matter, but you barely register his words. Jungwoo’s words were still ringing in your ears “She was the devil as she was the reason why we almost broke up.” Yuta never talked about his problems in the band, even if you asked a million times. You never demanded him to prioritize you first, you were so confused and angry as you were once again lied to and lied about by Yuta. You snap out when Mark is standing in front of you holding his hand out to you.

You only stare at him as he asks you “Avi? You okay, bruh?” you shake your head a little and answer “yeah. Nice interview, thank you.” Mark chuckles “We’re not done, dude! The camera’s out of batteries.” you can only nod your head.

His face fills with concern “You okay?” he asks softly. “Yeah, I’m fine, Mark. you should get your makeup touched up.” You say with a gentle tone. You might feel like a fire is burning inside your head but you’re not going to direct that to Mark, the guy who would ask you for your side of things when he knew you were fighting with Yuta, the guy who would always congratulate you when you got a new job, the guy who even after your relationship with Yuta still continued being a friend randomly texting you memes just to check if you were still alive.

You were tuning out the interview again but your ears perked up when Ten brings up what Jungwoo has said about 127 breaking up. Mark gets a bit uncomfortable he starts stuttering a bit but he clears his throat

“dude, Jungwoo he just.. No, but like.. Okay. we weren’t breaking up like that. We were deciding if we wanted to go on hiatus or like explore solo projects. We were all just tired you know? We finished two world tours then we got an album coming up then some personal stuff so it was only like a conversation that we had.” Mark looks relieved that he got that out without spilling some things, but Ten being good at his job or maybe he just likes being nosy follows up with “Jungwoo said Yuta’s ex was the reason you guys were having that conversation.”

“Whaaat? Dude, no! Well not exactly. Yuta wanted to spend time with her because they were still together at that time and then Haechan like wanted to sing more? So we were thinking of having like solos for a while…” he stops as Chanyeol signals him to stop talking from the staircase. Everyone looks at Chanyeol as if daring him to stop the interview, but he doesn't as he makes his way next to Baekhyun. “Yeah, it’s just that we all wanted a break to spend time with loved ones and to explore solo opportunities. Haechan has like some sick duos he wanted to do with me. It’s something we’re working on lately we finally got like the time to lay down the track while on tour so hopefully, after this new album we get to work on it more.” Mark ends with a small smile, his dimples showing.

You help pack up the van silently to avoid your teammates' eyes; you don't want them to ask how things went today. Tomorrow is another day, it was Yuta’s turn for the solo interview even if you weren’t allowed to be in the same room as him during filming you know he was going to say something that would make you feel hurt as if he was punishing you. What he and Jungwoo pulled today was draining you, Yuta knew you hated being the reason for disagreements that's why you didn't have boundaries during your relationship, you hated confrontation that’s why you held on to Yuta for so long. You remember the time you��ve had enough but you kept your mouth shut. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “I only see you,” Yuta says to you, his forehead pressed to yours. His thrusts were still in a steady rhythm and you felt like your skin was on fire. You look at him and tears are falling from your eyes, you’re not exactly sure if it’s from pleasure or the pain you feel in your chest. Your bodies were so close to each other but you never felt so far away from him; Today was your anniversary and Yuta promised to be with you but he canceled at the last minute because of a work thing, a song needed to be rerecorded and he can't leave work. It’s been this way lately, Yuta getting sucked into work and barely talking to you and you feel like shit for feeling neglected, but you let him anyway because this was for the band and the band comes first now that they’ve made it. Baekhyun asked you to come to the studio, something about Yuta wanting you to be there but then you saw him playfully flirting with the studio intern and barely paying you any attention, it made you feel like background noise. His band members barely talk to you as they were busy too, you felt like a dog waiting for him. You chose Yuta and this life it’s your fault why you only have him and not anyone else. “Avi.” He says your name to bring you back and he’s pushing harder into you, it was a brutal pace and he’s still not satisfied.

“Avi, I only see you. It’s only you.” he snakes his hand down to rub your clit, increasing your pleasure but this was torture for you, you wanted out.

“Yuta please.”

“Please what Avi? What do you want me to do?”

‘I can’t.” you manage to squeak. It was too much, his attention, his work, his life; you were feeling so overwhelmed. You don’t know yourself anymore, you don’t remember who you were before Yuta and that is making you feel suffocated. “Just give it to me, baby. You’re so close.” Yuta knew your body inside and out, he knew what every hitched breath meant; it was like you were an extension of his body. He bit the sensitive spot on your neck and you were done, you had cum so hard you barely register him finishing. When he pulls out of you, he kisses you long and hard; his teeth biting your lips, and says “I love you, Avi. I’m yours as you are mine.” He sleeps on his side, his face turned away from you, and you thank God that he was turned away because you hope he doesn’t see that the tears are still there. He doesn’t get it; that you don't want to be his anymore, you want to be yourself again-you wanted to be free. You cry yourself to sleep, wishing you knew how to let go of him without breaking your heart.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You snap back to the present when Jaemin nudges you to sit at the front since Johnny was driving again. “Oh” was all you mutter but you head to the passenger seat and buckle yourself in. You barely said a word the whole ride back to the office, Ten was just giving a recap of what happened but he leaves the parts about you, he’s a nosy guy but he’s not a bitch. Johnny senses something is wrong so when you were both finished reporting back to Kun he asks you if you want to get dinner, you decline saying you wanted to rest and he drops it and gives you your space.

“Avi,” he says before you head out of the building.

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted you to know that you’re doing great. You’re doing a good job, and..”

“And?” you say with a tired smile.

“I’m proud of you,” he says, successfully stopping the words that wanted to come out of his mouth. You give him the tightest hug you could muster “thank you, Johnny. Thank you for believing I could do it. I'm proud of you too.”

“Never doubted you, Avi Maria.”

As you head out to the bus stop Johnny thinks of the words that almost slipped out, “I love you, Avery.”

[imnotjaesblog]

Espresso

"Now he's thinkin' 'bout me every night, oh Is it that sweet? I guess so,"

Starring: Starring Jaehyun

GUYS I have been obsessed with this song. Sabrina got me obsessed just like the rest of the world. So of course I wrote a short fic loosely inspired by the song and music video.

Warnings: Smut. Jaehyun is an ass guy. Cursing. Y/n bites Jaehyun's lip and neck. Jaehyun is down bad for Y/n. Y/n is more of a dom but Jaehyun isn't shy.

Words: 5k

MINORS DO NOT READ!!!!!!

Enjoy;)

Breaks up were hard. But not when you’re on a beach in Italy with your friends. The fresh ocean breeze hit your cheeks as you walked along the beach searching for a spot to relax. The waves crashed in the distance. You could see from where you were standing the clear waters. Wrapped in a bathing suit cover-up and towel in hand you had found the perfect place to sit. You dug a small hole for your butt to fit comfortably for when you laid down.

You through the blanket laying it flat on the hot sand. Your friend came to your side. Eyes shielded with sunglasses, the same as yours. She placed the smaller cooler at the end of the blanket holding it down. Another one of your girlfriends appeared placing down two chairs and setting them up. Once she got comfortable beside you that’s when the rest of your friends showed up.

The remaining three guy friends walk towards you guys holding onto more chairs, an even bigger cooler, a speaker, and an umbrella. Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo all come to where you lay.

You picked up your sunglasses a bit to get a better look at the boys. Especially the one in the middle. Jung Jaehyun dressed in black swimming trunks and a white tank top. Hair pushed back and eyes framed with black sunglasses. The girls knew you were interested in him. The way you always perked up when he was around. Listening to his stories and laughing at his terrible jokes. You wanted him. But not in a romantic way. If it came to that, that was fine. But you craved him in such a bad way that felt so good.

And you were going to get him.

Jaehyun walked over to where you sat in the beach chair. He smiled at you just after letting Doyoung struggle to set up the beach umbrella. It shadowed over you. You took off your black shades placing them in your beach bag that Jaehyun so kindly carried for you.

“Jae,” you called. He turned to you. “Yea?” He asked. You were about to speak but the other boys started to shout.

“Let’s go!!!!” Jungwoo shouted as he ran to the water. Seulgi placed the speaker at the end of the blanket to keep it from flying. She watched Jungwoo run off. She smiled laughing as he flopped into the water. She briefly turned back to her phone pressing play on a playlist. Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter. She looked over at you and Jaehyun.

"You guys coming?" she asked. You nodded, "In a minute," she nodded Wendy ran up to her side. Linking their arms together and turning away. The two girls that lay on the blanket stood up. They laughed following behind Jungwoo. Doyoung who was just finishing up putting sunscreen over every inch of his body placed the sunscreen down. He ran behind Jungwoo a huge excited smile on his lips.

The two of you watched them run off. You weren’t ready just yet to head to the water. Still taking in the sun and the beautiful man who sat beside you. You leaned back. Jaehyun followed after watching his friends jump into the cool water.

“Y/n,” he called. “Yea?” You asked eyes still focused on the water. He leaned up a bit. “Can I get something to drink?” He asked. You nodded touching his hand a bit. “A Coke for now is fine,” you said. He nodded leaning over to the cooler. He opened it taking out the can. He opened the can for you placing it in your cup holder.

“Jaehyun do you mind doing me a favor?” You asked. He nodded brows raised a bit in interest. You smiled pulling out the sunscreen from your bag. “Can you put this on me? I can’t reach my back,” you said slightly pouting your lips. He nodded taking the cream from your hands. He popped open the cap.

You sat forward standing up to remove the cover-up. You smirked as you undid the tie. Letting it drop and exposing your glowy body to Jaehyun. Body hugged in a brown two-piece bathing suit. Small ruffles at the end create a mini skirt. Your ass still popped out from the bottom but in such a cute way. Your top matches the skirt but could be removed to show more skin.

Jaehyun licked his lips. Eyeing your skin and all he could see was your back. You turned to him waving for him to follow. Moving to the spot you made on the blanket. Laying down arching your back a bit so your butt would perk out as you laid your stomach down. Jaehyun squirted some sunscreen on his palm. Rubbing the white cream together he brought his hands to your soft skin.

He started with your back. Following the curve of your spine. Rubbing into your skin. You closed your eyes a bit. Soft sounds leave your lips. Some were on accident because Jaehyun was doing so well and some were on purpose just to see his reactions. He cleared his throat a bit but continued. Bringing his hands down to your waist. Holding onto your skin. Hesitantly hovering over your plush skin. He looked over at you. You looked so relaxed. He smirked bringing his hands down to your thighs.

Jaehyun wasn’t stupid. He knew what you were doing. For the last week, you have throwing hints at him. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t interested. Every small touch and hug. Even the small pecks you placed on his cheek when you wanted to say thank you or goodbye. Jaehyun had taken each detail piecing them together. He liked the effort you were putting in, in your way. He tried to keep his cool around you but it was getting harder. Every peck he wanted to turn his cheek and kiss you.

When you stayed at his apartment and put on one of his shirts because “yours was dirty” and walked into the kitchen. Lifting yourself to reach something you didn’t even need. A glass cup when he had some placed on the table. No, you wanted the one high up. The one that caused you to stretch and have his shirt lifted. Watching as your black panties exposed themselves to him. It took everything in his power to hold back. He wanted nothing more than to lift you down. Push you up against the counter and take you from behind. Feeling the plush curve of your ass in his palm.

But instead, he grabbed the cup for you. Leaning his front against your back and handed it to you. He could see the slight defeat on your face. He chuckled a bit. He’d eventually have his way with you once you were ready and he was sure you wanted him just as badly as he wanted you.

So he rubbed the sunscreen into your thighs. Hands roaming a bit inching closer between the skin. You could feel the shadow of his hand inch closer to the heat between your legs. Jaehyun flicked between watching you and his hand. He wondered what would happen if let his intrusive thoughts win. Spread you apart, yank your bottoms off, and devour you on the beach. He had to hold back. His friends weren’t too far off. He looked up seeing them all still in the water. Both girls are on top of the boy's backs.

You looked back down at you. “Jaehyun,” you said softly. He hummed in response. He found himself relaxing while touching you. “You can touch me if you want,” you said back. He opened his eyes stopping his moments for a second. He continued quickly not wanting to worry you. “Touch you?” He asked. You nodded turning your head a bit. You held back your smirk.

“You seem hesitant,” you spoke words laced with lust. “Don’t be,” you said back. You turned back letting your chin fall in your hands. “I don’t mind if you touch me,” you said. Jaehyun couldn’t help the groan that left his lips. You finally let your smirk show. Biting back a few giggles. Jaehyun glided his hands up from your thighs and to your ass. He let out a low groan unable to rid of his lustful thoughts. His hands mold your skin and take in every detail. The curve of your ass. The soft plush skin molded so well in his hands. How the sweat formed from the sun. If he smacked your face the droplets would probably hit his skin.

He had to stop. He could feel his dick harden in his trunks. He quickly let go of you. He says back in his heels.

“All done?” You asked tone changing. Sounding very much like he wasn’t feeling you up. That’s the one thing he could never understand about this interaction. How every time you managed to act as if everything was normal. Like his hands on you was nothing out of the ordinary.

He nodded in response gulping. He leaned over picking up your coke can. He brought it to his lips. Drinking most of it. The coke slipped down the corner of his lips. Jaehyun stood up walking away from you but you called him back.

“Jaehyun,” you called teasing tone returning. He sighed wanting to leave before someone called him a pervert. He kept his back to you. Only turning slightly. You picked up the bottle. “You didn’t put any on,” you said back dangling the bottle in your hands. Jaehyun gritted his teeth. His feet dug into the hot sand. He wanted nothing more than to let your hands roam free on his body. But he couldn’t. Not with his friends right there who will probably question the tent in his pants.

He shook his head. He waved it off. “I’m okay. I’ll use the spray Jungwoo has,” he responded. You went to say something but he walked off. He went to Jungwoo’s bag quickly removing his tank and spraying himself. Rubbing the sunscreen into his skin he ran off to the water. He had to clear his mind.

You sat there watching as he ran off. You didn’t care that you couldn’t touch him. You had just enough of what you needed with him touching you. And with the small sounds and curses he was making the entire time you knew you had him. You smiled to yourself as you popped open the bottle to finish yourself off.

———

You had eventually made your way to the water. You removed your slippers leaving them by the blanket. You walked quickly over to the water. The hot sand burning your feet. You sighed in relief when your feet met the wet sand and soon the small waves came in. You could see your friends slashing water at each other. It made you smile as he walked further into the water.

Jaehyun noticed you come in closer. His smile fell a bit as he watched you. Hands floating on the surface of the water. The air in his lungs was trapped. You made eye contact with him. Small smile on your lips. He sent you a half smile before he turned back to splashing Wendy. You scoffed turning to attack Jungwoo.

Jungwoo innocently lifted you. You screamed as he lifted you in the air. Your laughter is caught by Jaehyun. You held onto your nose as Jungwoo through you into the water. You quickly came back up for air. Pushing the front of your soaked hair back and rubbing your eyes. You pushed Jungwoo causing him to fall over. Seulgi laughed at Jungwoo holding onto her stomach. Doyoung chuckled as well before he came back to shore.

You all followed feeling a bit hungry.

You all sat around eating the well-made sandwiches. Wrapped in warm towels and taking in the sun. The sun was just on the horizon when Jaehyun sat beside you. He smiled at you. Small drops of water fell from his hair.

“Towel?” You asked him. Trying to hand him yours. He shook his head. “It’s okay. I’ll dry off,” he said leaning back a bit. He squinted his eyes from the sun that appeared closer. Everyone watched as the sun began to set. You hummed feeling calm as the sky shifted from orange. When the sky was golden Jaehyun looked over at you.

Your skin glowing in the sunlight. The golden hour did you no justice. You looked so beautiful. No amount of light from the sun or moon could capture your beauty. When the sky shifted pink you turned to Jaehyun. Catching him staring at you. You smiled, “You're staring,” you comment. He didn’t even bother to pretend like he wasn’t.

“I couldn’t help it. You’re beautiful,” he said feeling a bit corny. But he couldn’t bite his tongue. He needed you to know how breathtaking you were to him. Your cheeks became a bit warm. You could feel the heart spread throughout your whole body. The towel becoming useless. You slid it off your shoulders. Jaehyun watched as you did.

When the sky shifted to light blue Doyoung stood up to take photos. He walked over to you and Jaehyun asking you to pose. The two of you did and the flash of the Polaroid camera caught you both by surprise.

“Can I take another?” He asked. The two of you nodded. Jaehyun coming even closer to you. Shifting his weight to sit right beside you. Thighs pressing against yours and strong arm wrapping around your shoulder. He pulled you in causing your head to lean a bit to him. You both smiled as the camera flashed. Doyoung handed the two of you the photos.

When the sky became dark blue Jungwoo laid back. Wendy followed and you laid your head on Jaehyun’a shoulder. An innocent act in a search for comfort and warmth. Jaehyun could feel the slight chills on both his skin and yours from the night breeze. He pulled you close as the two of you watched the waves crash.

When the sky turned completely dark you all decided to go back to the hotel. It had been a fun and exhausting day.

You walked into your room closing the door behind you. You made your way to the bathroom quickly undressing and getting into the shower. Once you had freshly showered you stepped out applying the creams and lotions you had left in the bathroom earlier in the day. Once you finished applying every cream to your face and body you stepped out the bathroom towel wrapped around your frame.

You walked over to your dresser pulling out your pajamas. A slip dress that fell just about your thighs. If you stretched upwards almost all your ass would be exposed. You made your way back to the front shutting off the light. Walking back to your bed you pulled back the covers. The sheets feel smooth against your shaved legs. You hummed relaxing a bit before you grabbed your phone. Opening it you noticed a notification from Jaehyun.

Jaehyun- What are you doing?

You- Just got into bed. Why?

Jaehyun- Just wanted to text you.

You smiled biting into your lip. You switched legs underneath the blanket. You let your mind wander. Feeling the ghost of his hands moving around your skin. Mixing with that feeling of waves throughout your body just after leaving the beach. The same waves flow down between your legs. The warmth of his hands so close to where you craved him.

Jaehyun- Are you asleep?

Y/n- No. I was just distracted

Jaehyun- With?

You decided this was another opportunity for you to play.

Y/n- You

…

Jaehyun- Oh really?

Y/n- Yes

Jaehyun- What are you thinking about?

Jaehyun knew what he was thinking about. All the times this whole week you’ve rubbed your ass against him when you passed him by. The blood rushed from his brain to his cock when he palmed your ass on the beach. The image of you lifting yourself on the counter to reach the stupid mug. He could feel himself start to sweat. The same returned and rose throughout his body.

Y/n- What it would have felt like if you touched me as I asked you to?

Now he felt the entire air in the room rise. His breath caught in his lungs. Eyes glued to your texts. Lips parted only licking them to try and regain focus. Failing to do so he couldn’t help but think how you would have felt. Would you have felt soft? Warm? Would you be wet? Would you let him taste you?

Jaehyun- Would you let me touch you if I asked?

Y/n- Would you hesitate?

Jaehyun- Never again.

His change in boldness had gone straight to your heat. Jaehyun had always rejected your touches in the kindest ways. Like he didn’t want to. You assumed that was the case because of the look on his face. His lip caught between his teeth and his eyes shut. Was that how he looked when he fucked? The heat went straight to your legs. You couldn’t wait any longer. You had to go see him.

You stood up walking over to your door. Slipping down in your slippers and robe. You closed your door and let it shut behind you. You walked down the hallway to the door diagonal from yours. You knocked on his door. You could hear some rustling from inside. The door opened exposing you to a desperate Jaehyun. He pulled you inside shutting the door behind you.

Pulling you close to his body and inches his lips to yours. Towering over your frame. You could feel his faint breaths on your lips. You held onto his biceps looking up into his eyes. His hands molding onto your waist. “No worries about our friendship?” You teased feeling him get closer to you. He shook his head.

“I’m not gonna hesitate,” he said lowly placing his lips on yours. Lips connecting and moving together. Soft and passionate his tongue slipped between your lips. Wandering hands moving from your waist to the curve of your ass. Molding the plush skin in his palms. He groaned into your mouth at the feeling of your front pressed against him. He pulled away turning you around. Bringing his veiny hands to your shoulders. Slipping the silly robe off your shoulders. Letting it pool at your feet.

“I can touch you right?” He asked lowly. Whispering in your ear. You nodded just wanting him to continue.

He leaned his lips to your exposed neck. Placing small pecks on your skin. The back of his hand grazed your shoulder. Nails dragging down your skin. Goosebumps rise with the hairs on the back of your neck. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do this,” he confessed growl leaving his lips. You smirked hand reaching up to play with the back of his dark hair. “Then why now?” You asked teasingly. “Because I can’t control myself anymore,” he kissed your jaw bringing his lips to your neck.

Bringing his hand further down lifting your dress up and over your head. He removed his shirt letting it fall to the ground. His hands quickly move back to your hot skin. Passing over your breast and to your heat. His tongue sucking on the skin of your neck just below your ear.

He could feel your exposed ass press against his cock. The feeling of your bottom half pantie-less and free. Spreading your legs with his hand. Hands moving to spread your folds. Taking your wetness coating his fingers. Unable to help himself from bringing his fingers to his lips. He sucked onto his digits humming at the sweet taste. How could you taste so good? You moaned at the feeling of his hardness against you. Wanting nothing more than to pull his cock out and have him fuck you in every inch of this hotel room.

He turned your back around. Feeling tortured enough without having you. He wouldn’t make it worse without being able to see you. He took in the sight of you. Pulling you close and lifting you. Wrapping your legs around his waist he walked the two of you to his bed. Laying you flat he kissed his way down. From your lips to your neck. Past the valley of your breast and the skin of your stomach. Sitting on his heels and dipping his head further down. Letting his legs fall straight. Using his hand to hold you down and the other to spread you apart. Spitting on your clit before diving in.

You moaned loudly hands reaching down to grab onto his hair. Gripped his locks and watched as he fucked himself into the mattress. His tongue moved fast against your clit. Moving his head back and forth underneath you. His nose rubbed against your clit when his tongue moved closer to your tight hole.

“Fuck,” you moaned bringing your other hand up to your breast. Toying with your breast. Jaehyun looked up mouth still sucking you dry. Reaching his free hand up to flick your nipple. Squeezing onto the skin. Your hips rutted against his face. He shut his eyes for a bit just taking in your taste and scent. Listening to the soft sounds that escaped your lips. Your back arched once he quickened his pace.

“That’s right baby. You’re doing so well for me,” he praised continuing his assaults on your pussy. Your head fell back. Thighs shaking between his face. You tasted too good for him to stop. Looking up at you and watching you fall apart. You looked too good to stop. He didn’t even notice his hips fucking the mattress underneath him. So lost in the feeling of bringing you to your high he lazily chased his own.

“Jaehyun I’m gonna cum,” you groaned feeling him slip his finger inside you. You could feel the knot in your stomach form. Back arching off the bed. Your hands tugged into Jaehyun’s locks screaming praises and curses.

“Jaehyun,” you moaned again. Your sound’s going straight to his head causing him to speed up. He continued to suck and lick quick circles on your clit. Eyes looking up seeing your entire body squirm under his touch. He smirked against you. “That’s right take it, baby,” he hushed a growl leaving his lips, returning to your pussy.

“Jaehyun I’m coming,” you screamed. Jaehyun picked up his pace bringing you closer to your high. Your entire body shuddered. Your stomach deflating as you released into his mouth. Jaehyun sucked up all of your juice even making sure to lick his fingers once he pulled them out.

Your body laid flat on his bed. Chest rising and falling. He chuckled taking in your sight again. “I’m doing that again,” he said happy smirk on his lips. You sat up pulling him into a soft kiss. You shook your head.

“Not after you fuck me first,” you said placing a hand on his chest from going any further. You pushed him back causing his back to hit the mattress. Grabbing onto the waist of his shorts. He lifted his ass making it easier for you to slide them down. Pealing his boxers back exposing his hard dick. The tip is red from rubbing it against the fabric. Peak cum leaking from the top falling on the trail of his stomach. You licked your lips zoning in on his cock.

Jaehyun watched your chest quickly rise up and down. Waiting for you to do something, anything. You bent down crawling forward and onto his lap. Throwing your leg over and straddling his waist. Since you got rid of that useless boyfriend you had all you could think about was riding Jaehyun’s cock. Even before you wasted your time on that boy you thought about. But something about Jaehyun being there for you was just so hot.

You grabbed onto his jaw having him face you as you aligned his dick at your entrance. His mouth fell open at just the feeling of hai tip ghost under your folds. You leaned down placing a passionate kiss on his pink lips. He kissed you back deepening the kiss. Placing a hand on your waist and pulling you close. You pulled back his bottom lip caught between your teeth. You let his plumped lip fall back into place. He groaned already feeling himself give more and more of himself to you.

Then you pushed his cock into you. The tip passes through your tight hole. His shaft slipped further and further inside you. You were so wet it drizzled down your leg. He could feel some of it getting onto his dick and it drove him crazy. He was tempted to reach down. Pick up the juice and lick it but instead groaned even louder when you bottomed out. You both let out sighs of relief. Jaehyun felt so right inside of you. Your bodies molded together as you tried to find a rhythm that worked for both of you.

Once you did you slowly moved your hips forward. Bouncing on his angry cock. Feeling so full with him underneath you. Getting lost in your own Euphoria Jaehyun reached up pulling you down. Causing you to open your eyes. “Focus here baby,” he said placing a kiss on your lips. You kissed him back until he pulled away. Teasing smirk and a dark look in his eyes.

“Fuck baby you're doing so well,” you praised. His brows furrowed and teeth sunk into his bottom lip. You moaned out loud head falling back. If you knew he would have felt this could you would have fucked him sooner. “Feel so full,” you moaned mouth falling open. Jaehyun groaned even more hearing you moan so loud for him. You smirked reaching down to run your fingers against his chest. Soon finding his neck. Jaehyun wasn’t going to let you choke him. So he grabbed onto you flipping you around.

He needed to be deeper inside you. Spreading your legs further apart. Aligning his wet cock at your entrance and ramming inside you hard. You moaned loudly head falling back onto the pillow. Gripping into the sheets. Mouth falling open unable to speak. Jaehyun’s head fell back. You were squeezing so good around him. Losing his mind inside your tight hole. This would not be the end for him.

You felt just as cold as he imagined. So wet and tight. His dick is warm inside your velvet walls. You continued to squeeze around his cock. He was big and long. Curving inside you and brushing past your sweet spot. You moaned loud eyes widened open and lips formed an o. He smirked enjoying making you fall apart underneath him. All the teasing and longing touches reaching up to now. Now he could finally have his way with you.

But you were in charge. You picked yourself up wrapping your hand around his neck. Fingings lacking with his dark black hair. Pulling onto his hair craning his neck back. He kept his hands on your waist. Fucking deep into your pussy. Leaning down and sucking on his neck. Jaehyun let out a moan. A moan he had been trying to hide.

Sweating pouring down your bodies. The heat picking up between the two of you. Both your shared moans echo inside the room. The bed shaking against the headboard. Both of you are lost in the euphoric feeling.

“You do so good baby,” Jaehyun praised through pants. He couldn’t hold on much longer. He felt himself coming closer and closer to his high. You moaned teeth sinking into his neck. He growled at the feeling of laying you back down. This time not wasting a second. Slamming his dick into hot and heavy. Bringing his finger to his mouth sucking on his digits before he brought them to your clit.

He could feel your juice soaking his dick as you came around him. Squeezing onto him tightly he bit onto his lip. His neck and ears turning bright red as he chased his high.

“Where can I ?” He asked groaning as you squeezed him again unable to control it. You looked up into his eyes. Your eyes glowing with mischief and love. You smirked, “Inside,” you said. Jaehyun could explode. You were so hot. He fucked into you harder. He let out an earthy groan as he spilled himself inside you. His thrust turned slow before he pulled out. Watching as your pussy oozed mixing your come with his.

He licked his lips as he pulled out. Watching your pussy glistening in his dim room. He wanted to ask to take a picture but decided not to. Keeping the memory in his mind.

You laid their fingers grazing over your sensitive skin. Jaehyun stood up walking off into the bathroom. Laying there looking at the ceiling you wore a dazed smile on your eyes with heavy eyes to match. When he returned he held a small towel in his hand. He came to your side unable to hide his smile. His cute dimples are on display. You chuckled a bit as he brought the towel closer cleaning you up.

Once he finished he threw the small towel in the trash. He came to your side pulling you close to him. He nuzzled his face in your neck. After sex, Jaehyun was so clingy you noted.

“It’s shocking to see you this way,” you commented looking a bit down at him. He looked up hand sliding across your exposed waist. He raised a brow cheek mushed against your stomach now. “What is?” He asked small pout. Your hand reached down to go through his hair. He hummed closing his eyes a bit.

“You’re usually glued to your phone. Antisocial,” you joked. He chuckled along with you. He shrugged, “I can’t do that around you. Especially now, I feel like I need to hold onto you so you don’t go,” he teased. You shook your head. Smile on your glossy lips. “I’m not going anywhere,” you said back more as a promise. You leaned up causing him to sit up. You touched his biceps. Eyeing him up and down before you looked back into his eyes.

He groaned, “You're gonna be the death of me,” he said. Causing a dark giggle to leave your chest before he made his way to you.

And like always. You kept him up all night.

End ;)

Thank you for reading this. I wrote this because of the Prada Show where Jaehyun looks absolutely delicious lol.

Thank you for reading!

[p4p1l0nn]

crimson tears.

pairing: ex!jaemin x reader

genre: drama, angst, romance (second chance romance, betrayal, humiliation)

in the quiet corners of your world, where the weight of missed opportunities lingers, every day unfolds as a haunting reminder of what once was. in the echo of each passing minute and the silence of every hour, the ache of longing for jaemin becomes your constant companion.

memories of shared laughter and stolen glances linger, casting shadows on the canvas of your thoughts. you navigate a world colored by the absence of his touch, a world where the void left by his departure becomes an indelible mark on your soul.

the air is thick with the bittersweet scent of memories as you yearn for a second chance, a chance to rewrite the script of your love story with him, desperate to escape the confines of a past that holds you captive in the echoes of what could have been.

in your lonely nights, your bed felt empty, missing the warmth he once brought. his laughter echoed in your room, making the silence in your chest even louder. sleep, once a comfort, turned into a battle where dreams showed what you lost. tears stained your pillow, telling the tale of an ache that wouldn't go away. each new day without him was like a punch, and the pillow became your confidante.

with the seasons changing, your feelings changed too. spring's colorful flowers only highlighted the dullness of your life without him. summer's warmth couldn't melt the icy pain around you. autumn came, showing that even vibrant leaves fall, just like you fell deeper into a love that slipped away. winter brought a cold reminder of the frostiness between you and the world. festive lights outside mocked the hope in your heart, dancing to a sad tune.

your mind replayed the painful conversation with jaemin, each word a searing brand on your heart. as you summoned the memory, the wound reopened, and the ache intensified.

jaemin's once-familiar voice turned venomous, the words cutting through the air like shards of glass. “a second chance?” he scoffed, the bitterness dripping from every syllable. “you really have the audacity to ask for that after what you did?”

his friends, haechan and jeno, tried to restrain him, but the words poured forth like a relentless storm. “you think i'd give you another chance? you're delusional, living in some fantasy where your mistakes don't matter. well, guess what? they do.”

you felt the weight of his anger, and it hit you like a brick. “do you even realize how humiliated i am to be standing here, begging for something you don't think i deserve? i never expected you to forgive easily, but this . . .”

his eyes, once warm, now held a coldness that sent shivers down your spine.

“i thought we meant more to each other. i thought our history counted for something,” you pleaded, desperation clinging to your voice. but jaemin's retort was like a slap in the face, stinging with a cruelty you never anticipated. “history? all it does is remind me of how foolish i was to trust you in the first place.”

haechan and jeno intervened, trying to quell the verbal assault, but the damage was done. the words reverberated in your mind, a painful mantra of rejection. “don't bother. you're not worth the second chance you're asking for.”

his eyes bore into yours with a mixture of resentment and disappointment. the weight of his hatred lingered, and you were left standing there, the remnants of shattered hope scattered at your feet. the humiliation cut deep, a wound that no amount of pleading could heal.

the sting of betrayal cut deeper as the realization unfolded — jaemin had orchestrated the meeting with malicious intent. he lured you with sweet words, concealing the venom that awaited. the pain of humiliation gnawed at your core, leaving you raw and exposed.

as the truth settled in, jaemin's deceit played like a cruel melody in your mind. “i just wanted to talk,” he had said, his tone dripping with false sincerity. “i thought we could find some closure.”

yet, his intentions were far from closure. in that orchestrated encounter, his words became daggers, each one aimed to wound. “closure?” he sneered, the facade crumbling to reveal the deception. “i wanted to see the desperation in your eyes, watch you beg for something you can never have.”

the revelation hit you like a tidal wave, the emotional wreckage leaving you breathless. “you tricked me,” you whispered, the words carrying the weight of betrayal.

jaemin's triumphant grin confirmed your realization. “you played the part perfectly. falling for it was your mistake, not mine.”

the scene unfolded like a cruel play, and the script had been written with your pain in mind. as jaemin and his friends walked away, laughter echoing behind them, the sense of betrayal settled in your chest like a lead weight.

the wound inflicted wasn't just from lost love; it was a mark of a trust shattered, a heartbroken by a deliberate act of cruelty.

[starillusion13]

TRUST ME NOT

Pairing: Bf!(boss unit except one) x f!reader

W.C: 9.1k

Genre: Fluff, Mafia, Angst

Warnings: keeping secrets, innocent reader(?), mafia deals, murder, blast, tracking device, spying on someone, anonymous mail, tying up with rope in basement, unconcious, feeling sorry, sad, regrets, forgiveness, lots of kissing, anniversary surprises lol, getting shot, mention of blood(not detail) idk what to add anymore

1 month late birthday gift to @mymoodwriting sorry🥀

Network: @kvanity-main

🎀 Your anniversary was supposed to be held in a month.

The excitement was brightly visible on your face and you had a lot of arrangements to make. Going out to different stores and contacting some very important people who all are of potential help in some urgent scenarios. It's been five years since you were in a relationship with the mafia gang, NCT. Yeah, some people won't believe you if you say that you are the secret girlfriend, because your appearance and attitude is far from the ruthless behavior of the bosses--- your boyfriends.

The first one to notice that you were busy was Jungwoo, as he is the one who doesn't go out of the house often. His hacking job lets you both to spend more time with each other and well, this makes him throw cocky looks to others. You have told him repeatedly not to tease others because of that, but who is he to listen to?

You have almost planned everything for the upcoming day, obviously keeping it a secret from them. And this made Jungwoo suspicious of you. Earlier he was ignoring your weird attitudes and your now and then excuses to go out but one day when you were out for a long time, he followed your location. Well, he tried to but he couldn't track it.

How the hell is that even possible?

Now, he can't obviously charge you for messing up with the tracking device as you aren't aware of any of these. So, he decided to talk this out with his gang members.

"Are you sure of the suspicion?" Taeyong asked with a dark look. He was already tired with the day and now one of his members is sitting in front of him with a doubt. He glanced at the rest of the members across the room but they all were pretty much similar attentive to the hacker like him. He sighed and urged him to speak more.

The hacker nodded and proceeded, "she is acting differently and when I asked her last week. She was in a hurry to reply as if she would spill secrets if she spoke more than necessary."

"Maybe she is tired. You know her café has a lot of work." Mark stated and Jaehyun nodded his head in agreement. They know very well how dedicated you are to your work and something that might be keeping you busy these days.

Jungwoo shook his head, "No. The surprising fact is that she is barely available at the cafe."

"Then where is she going every morning?" Winwin asked and glanced at him from the corner of the room. And this caught everyone's attention.

Jaehyun remembered his interaction with you from two days back over the call.

"When I asked to pick her up from the cafe, she denied and told me about having extra hours but ended up coming home by riding someone else's car. As far as I know no one from her cafe owns that car." he stated and looked around.

"What? And you are telling me now?" Taeyong banged the table with his fist making the ones sitting near to him to flinch. Doyoung licked his lower lips and ran his fingers through the hairs. He was still putting in the pieces together and hoping that whatever they were thinking should not be the actual case.

Are you hiding something from them?

Or are you planning for something to destroy them?

Mark put his phone beside him on the sofa, "Dude, don't think like that. We must be wrong somewhere. Don't doubt her for anything."

"You are not suspecting her for anything right?" Winwin looked at his leader expectantly who in return just poked his cheek with the tongue and turned towards Doyoung.

"Tell everyone to keep a closer look on her." he said and looked at everyone, "all of you will see what's the matter with her. If she is not going to the cafe and not talking with us that much. Then we should find out what's the matter that she is suddenly acting so differently."

"But-"

"Mark, don't argue with me now."

No one spoke anything after that. Four of them left the room, leaving the leader with Doyoung. The latter's eyes followed how frustratingly the leader was brushing his hairs back and sighing.

"I know, you are not doubting her like the way you are showing your anger."

The leader rested his elbows on the table and held his head with his palms, "I don't want to blame her for anything. I trust her so much but I want to know what's up with her. I love her so much, Doyoung."

Doyoung walked towards him and patted his back comfortingly, "we all love her, Taeyong. If she ever betrays us then nothing can hurt us more than that."

"I don't want to hurt her. She is precious to me. I want all these to be just a misunderstanding."

"She is not betraying us. We will just find out what's the matter with her and then everything will be fine."

The latter just nodded and tears fell from his eyes similarly like the one standing.

.

.

"Where are you going?" Jungwoo asked as he saw you hurrying towards the door. You were smiling all the way down the stairs while looking at the phone. His eyes were staring at you with curiosity and adoration. When he repeated the question again, you glanced at him away from your phone and raised your brows.

"Uh..I..somewhere...do you need something?"

"No. But where? Do you want me to go with you?"

"No!".

He was taken aback by your sudden scream, "what? Why are you shouting?"

You awkwardly laughed and brushed your hairs, "I'll be off to the place and will return quickly. Don't worry."

As soon as you took a turn, someone grabbed your forearm and made you turn around. The turn was so sudden that you almost lost your balance on your heels, "What the hell! Jaehyun?"

"It's late afternoon. I don't think you are going to the cafe right now. Your workers told me that you will be there in the evening. So where to now?" His tone was low and demanding.

His grip was firm and you glanced at the hold then at his face. He had just showered after returning home. The others were not there yet and these two were only at the house so you decided to leave without them noticing you but it's not the case now.

"Hey, I'm just going to meet someone." you smiled at the end of the sentence.

"Who? Let me take you there."

You held his wrist to take off his hand from yours, "No, it's okay. I can go there alone. He will be just a few blocks away and......and then everything is fine."

"he? Y/n, who is this person? Do I know him? Have any of us seen him before?"

"Oh my jealous baby, Jae. Come on, don't think like I am a child. And you don't have to know everyone."

He stepped closer to you, tugging your hairs behind your ears before holding your hands and smiling down at you with a soft look, "I just care for you too much, Y/n. I don't want anyone to hurt you. Please be safe out there as you know your life is always at risk because of us...and dont hide anything from us."

You couldn't hear the last words but you smiled at him, "I will be safe. I promise."

He leaned forward to peck your lips and then planted a soft kiss on your temple. Jungwoo came up behind you and hugged you, nuzzling his nose in your neck inhaling the recently applied perfume, you smiled at the tingling sensation. He whispered, "if you can't keep yourself safe. Then I will kill everyone who will hurt you."

You grabbed one of his hands and brought it to your lips, planting a kiss, "I know. I am always safe with you all."

.

.

.

You were safe. Your preparations and secrets, everything was safe. Only two weeks left and you couldn't contain your excitement. Skipping steps towards the flower shop, you were greeted by the familiar man holding a rose in his hold and smiling endearingly at you. Your smile widened brightly and a soft laugh escaped your throat when he kneeled down in front of you, "A rose for my queen." He extended his hand towards you and you took the flower from his hand.

"Oh please shut up, Wooyoung."

He again stood in front of you and smoothed his blazer and pants. The look was stating that he was on his way for the meeting but still his playful nature and his childish laugh was not setting right with his appearance.

"Why? I can call you anything."

"Just wait until I tell this to my boyfriend." you chuckled while looking around the flower shop, "Where is the owner?"

You never used your boyfriend's name in front of anyone, always referring to some silly names or simply 'my boyfriend'. No one has ever seen your so-called boyfriend but they know you always have the adoration while speaking of him—- of them.

"I don't know about him. Hey! Why are you asking for the owner when I'm here?" He whined and you shook your head in disbelief with the attitude.

"How old are you? And I need him to choose some exact flowers for the decoration and a perfect perfume to give my boyfriend." you smiled at the thought of surprising them with everything. He nodded with a pout and stood by your side while you were staring at some beautiful bouquets, "Is your boyfriend nice? You can tell me if you have any problems. You have said he lives outside this country but if he turns out as a cheater. I will show him hell."

"Of course, Wooyuong. There's nothing to worry about. I am fine and he is a very nice man. Maybe someday you can meet him and also, I'm doing all these preparations for our anniversary."

The owner just entered the door and greeted you both when the other one smiled at you before exiting the door.

.

.

.

One week left for your anniversary.

"So, I was right. She is going to this shop almost every day and according to Winwin, our enemy's last location was this shop."

They couldn't believe the pictures and the tracking location of the devices that were showing on the very big screen displayed in front of them. The undercover spy has clicked the pictures of you meeting with a young man well dressed up in a suit and you were hugging him with a smile, also in another picture, you were receiving flowers. The different gestures between you both were assuming that there was a deeper bonding than they can think of. Everything was pretty much fine until the call list and tracking device of yours and their enemy matches exactly.

"Jungwoo, have you gone to this shop before?" Taeyong asked when he placed himself on the sofa.

The hacker shook his head, "no, I never bought anything from there. I thought she knew the owner of the shop, that's why she is going there but it turned out she is meeting the owner of the device who is apparently our enemy. We need to find who is the owner. Winwin even followed her one day and guess what? They were planning for a big event and also went on a date."

"A date?" Mark had a confused look on his face.

Jungwoo nodded and Jaehyun continued, "yeah, she is meeting these certain people every often and that's why you can't find her in the cafe. And this one person is very common."

"That's Wooyoung, a member of the gang, Ateez. the shop owner is his best friend, just for cover." Winwin started from beside Doyoung who quickly turned towards him in surprise.

Taeyong scoffed in irritation, "So that's him? He blew our basement? I was so sure that somebody leaked our plan when we were having the mission in a different state and look, he took that advantage to attack on our base."

"And you think?" Doyoung raised a brow.

"She...she told him?" Taeyong didn't even want to say it but still he did. He blamed you. He doubted you. There was no other option left other than suspecting you with their recent events going on around them. He curled his fingers into a fist, suppressing the anger and hurt.

Mark leaned back into his chair, "we must be wrong somewhere. Or things have not been placed in the correct way."

"No. When I told Jungwoo for the first time, neither me nor him believed this but after one week of research. We are sure that she is involved with this." Winwin himself didn't want to believe what he was voicing out.

His own voice was betraying him. Was your love for them just a facade to destroy them in the end? Were you playing with their feelings? What? NO! This can't be, you are not like that. He couldn't convince anyone, maybe he was not even trying to convince anyone. No one was ready to believe that you were planning something worse behind their back, just to destroy them to get in with a man. The man who is apparently their enemy's gang member.

Mark stood up. A sad look visible on his face, fighting back the urge to cry in front of them. He couldn't hear more about suspecting you. Even if you are wrong, he still wants to see you and love you. His gaze shifted from the leader towards the large wide window, the setting of the sun was visible, "our anniversary is in almost 10 days. I hope we won't be doing something to ruin the day."

The words hit them altogether. Anniversary...they have bought a lot of gifts for you and they have arranged a trip for all of you to spend time together.

He turned around and Taeyong closed his eyes, heaving a sigh. Everyone was in disbelief and fighting whether they should blame you or...or what? There's nothing to think about anymore.

"Hey!  you all here?" your cheerful voice broke the silence. The atmosphere was already tense inside the house but your presence was making it worse. To your oblivion, they shared glances between them when Jaehyun noticed some things in your hold. His jaw clenched at the sight and he stepped towards you.

"Who gave you this?"

You furrowed your brows before looking down and then a smile cracked on your face. Everyone noticed the shift in expression when you held the flowers tightly, "Um...someone. A friend?"

"Friend." he scoffed and glared at you. His expression surprised you and then when you looked around the room, you noticed others were looking at you with no emotions visible. It felt so distant as if you were missing something. But what's even the matter? Mark was standing on the first step of the stairs, when you caught his eyes, there was a hurt look— the look of betrayal.

"Mark-" the young boy didn't wait to hear you when he abruptly turned around and ascended the stairs, without even looking back at you. What happened?

"Where were you?" Doyoung asked with folded hands above his chest, supporting himself against the table. His dark and sharp eyes staring at you, waiting for a quick reply.

"I...I went to the cafe."

"You were not there. Don't lie. Just tell me exactly, where were you?"

Taeyong darkly chuckled, "of course to meet her friend. Right? So, had fun on the date?"

"Date?"

Jaehyun turned to him, "don't pretend that you don't know. You went on a date with your little friend, right?"

You shook your head when Jungwoo pointed at your large plastic bag, "what's all these?"

You tried to hide it behind your back only to get yanked away, "why are you hiding it?" He glared at your action.

"What's wrong with you all?"

"What's wrong with you? Are you planning something behind our back?" His words hurt you. No, it shocked you. Are they doubting you for something?

The phone in your pocket started ringing and when Jaehyun didn't loosen his grip on you, you snatched your arm away and glared at him. Fishing out the phone, you held it to your ear and greeted the person. Before walking towards your room, you snatched away the plastic bag from him and no one protested but watched you going away.

No one moved from their places but only Winwin followed you behind.

.

.

.

Three days have already passed since that day.

You didn't talk with anyone normally. Everytime, they would be looking at you accusingly or asking you some weird questions about why you were hiding things from them.

but , there was nothing to hide in the first place---- except for the celebration.

Only one week left and when you just wanted to go out finally to arrange the last things of the preparation. Doyoung blocked your way.

"You are not going anywhere."

"Huh?"

Jaehyun came up behind you and harshly pulled you to a particular direction, "your game is over, y/n. Just give up now. You can't hide anything from us now."

The other one walked just closely behind you, gun in his hand. "I can't believe you that after the things we did, only for you to betray us."

"Please Jaehyun...Trust me. you must be wrong somewhere. I am not hiding anything. I promise." Your voice was broken yet he was not glancing at you but dragging you towards the stairs. The grip on your wrist tightened when you tried to pull your hand away. The wrist was burning from his harsh grip.

There were two uncoordinated footsteps from behind you both and when the youngest of them spoke up, you glanced at them. Mark was trying to stop the leader from stepping forward but the latter was just fuming and when he caught your glistening eyes, he sent a glare at you.

"please..." you whimpered when he took the turn and stopped at the first step of the stairs. He inhaled sharply and glared at you before glancing at the leader.

"take her downstairs." He simply ordered and the latter nodded.

Mark held Jaehyun's other hand, "No. Don't. Please, we should listen to her. We must be wrong somewhere. Please don't take her there."

But he dragged you down, stumbling over a few places but he didn't care. No one cared at the moment. As if your voice was not even audible to their ears.

You have never been to this place before and the dark, dimly lit room with a damp smell was making churn in your stomach. The others were already present inside the room and their focus was on you— the helpless figure. He harshly pulled you towards the chair behind the interrogating desk and made you sit on it. Your head turned towards each one of them, no one was having any sympathy for you. Maybe they had but trying not to show it.

"Why are you doing this? Please get me out of here." tears were flowing down your cheek. Before you could wipe off your tears, Jungwoo gripped your wrist and tied them to the armrest. Winwin took away the phone from you and placed it on the table. Taeyong placed himself on the chair across from you and stared at your tied up form. Doyoung stood beside him, palm resting on the head of the leather chair.

"So, from where should we begin?"

You remained quiet. Not because you didn't want to talk but because you didn't know what to say. Mind still processing the situation and why they all were keeping you tied up like a criminal. Do they not trust you?

You stared at him with silent tears falling from your eyes. Jaehyun and Jungwoo stood beside you on both sides, neither of them speaking anything and not even looking at you. Only glancing now and then.

"How do you know Wooyoung?" the leader asked the first question and leaned forward on the table.

"Wooyoung?"

Doyoung tilted his head to the side, "yes. Even that day he gave you those flowers. Having good times with the enemy. Right, y/n?"

"Enemy? He is my old friend from university."

The leader was not buying your words, "our enemy is your friend now. Since when are you against us?"

"What are you saying, Taeyong? I would never. I..." you were almost spilling the secrets but held back the words that were about to come out from your lips, "we just recently reunited at the flower shop. He was just...helping me out with something."

"Helping you out to chalk out a plan to kill us?" Winwin offered you an option for your choice of words. You shook your head at him and returned to face the leader. He didn't have any emotions for you. No more those endearing smiles and caring eyes looking at you but a strong and accusing eyes blaming you for everything.

"No, it's not like that."

"There's no point in you lying on our face. You can't fight back, y/n. There's six of us and only, you alone."

You parted your lips and tried to shift forward when Jungwoo held you back. You raised your head to look at him but he just avoided your eyes. Does he hate me so much?  "You all should understand this. I am alone, I can't do anything to harm you all and... I can never think of hurting any of you."

"Don't pretend to be the innocent one like always." Jaehyun spat at you. "It was all a facade to make us trust you. To make us weak for you so that you can easily break into our life and destroy us from the core."

"Jaehyun..." you whispered his name but a long silence followed your longing gaze on him. How could he blame you like this? They never used such a tone with you.

"He is correct. It was only you who knew about our absence for a whole week from the city and during that exact time, Ateez attacked our warehouse. Isn't this a coordinated plan?" Taeyong was irritated with each word coming out of his mouth.

"And you think I told him?"

Winwin caught your attention, "of course. The enemy whom we were tracking has his every location around you. His every location was colliding with yours. The flower shop belongs to them and it's just undercover to hide their spies in that busy street. Your activity was very frequent during the time of the blast."

"It must be a coincidence...I am not aware of all these." you plead to them for mercy but none of them were convinced. It all seemed as an act to break away from them and to run to their enemy for help.

"We thought that too but you have a deep connection with him. Even keeping your meet-ups a secret from us. Don't think of us like fools."

"Mark, you are a fool. All of you are foolish to think of me going against you. He is just my friend and we were just hanging out after some arrangements and if I knew he was the menber of a gang, I would never have spoken to him. But...but he won't hurt me or any of you. He doesn't even know you all are my boyfriends."

"Because for your benefit. So that you can go on dates with him." Jaehyun scoffed at the end of the sentence.

Taeyong slammed his hand to gain your attention back on him. His eyes were raging and he was fuming with anger. You flinched at the sound and scaredly turned towards him when he spoke up, "Now tell me, what do you want from us?"

You shook your head and bit your lips to prevent yourself breaking down more.

"I said speak up, y/n!"

Your broken voice and hiccups echoed the room, "I...I want n-nothing. I just want......your love."

"Shut up!"

"Jaehyun, keep quiet." Doyoung shushed the tall man beside you but you were already hurt too much. You were exhausted after crying so much, the unfamiliar and confined environment was suffocating you. You just wanted to get out of the place and run away, far away and hide from them. You were scared to say anything anymore or they could have done something more.

"You are going to stay here unless you are willing to tell the truth." Taeyong said and stood up to turn towards the door.

You shook your head frantically to not to leave you there. But no one minded your scared form. You were nothing more than a liar to them.

"Please listen to me..."

Jaehyun grabbed your cheeks, his fingers digging into your flesh, "you are only going to speak the truth or else shut your mouth." he harshly jerked your head to the side.

One by one everyone left the room except the one who was almost standing silently since he came here. He stayed back inside the room. When you noticed his gaze on you, there was a hurt look like that day.

"Why did you do this?"

"I did nothing."

He looked up at the ceiling and then at you, "then please confess the truth. I can't see you like this."

"I'm telling you the truth, Mark. he is just my friend. I didn't help him with anything."

Doyoung came back to the room to find the younger one standing at the door. He informed the younger one to stay with you, not to leave you alone down in the basement. He nodded his head in acceptance. You don’t know if It was because they told him to stay behind out of love or they think you could try to run away from them.

Mark actually wanted to stay with you though. He just can't leave you alone.

Doyoung stepped inside the room to take the phone from the table. When he came in sight of your vision, you looked away to avoid him. He waited for a moment but left the room eventually when you didn't look at him.

"Mark, don't get swayed by her?"

They had some whispering conversation outside the door and you zoned out to think about the day, how you were so excited to finally wrap the different gifts for them and then prepare the last arrangement because this last week was supposed to be spending time with them together. But everything went down the hill.

When Mark returned inside the room, he saw you sleeping on the chair uncomfortably. He stepped forward and tugged your hairs behind the ears to have a clear look of your face. You looked so peaceful but your face was stained with sweat and tears. He caressed your soft skin and tears fell from his eyes, he was sorry to you. He untied your wrists and pulled you on his lap on the floor. Resting your head against his chest, his fingers stroked you and he lulled you to sleep.

"I'm sorry, y/n."

.

.

.

The next two days were just you refusing all the foods they offered and you were getting weak. Even if they didn't hurt you physically, but their words, their hatred looks and their harsh and hurtful touches with their accusing tone was enough to break your every inch.

Doyoung didn't let you stay in the basement but kept you locked in his room. He promised his leader that he won't let you escape the house.

Just before the two days of your anniversary, they got an email from someone. It was labeled with a secret code so when they clicked on it, they found out that it was from someone unknown. They have sent some confidential documents. Jungwoo didn't waste any time before clicking open it only to get a shock. Everyone scooted closer to him.

'How is Y/n? Suspecting her now? Oh, poor girl. Don't worry. I will kill her soon anyways. '

There were all the details under the small links. Whatever they saw was right but the actual explanation to their assumption was what you were saying, not how they interpreted earlier. Wooyoung was just your friend, nothing more and he didn't have any intention to harm you or others. Ateez didn't even attack their base.

Then who is this person?

Is he alive?

Jaehyun threw the glass away in frustration.

"Where is this shit? I will kill him."

Winwin quickly followed some images, "the dreamies are trying to track the id. Hyuck is currently scanning the codes. but... I don't know why this person wants to kill her."

"I'm not leaving her alone for any more second."

Doyoung jogged towards the room only to find you sleeping beside the window stool. Taeyong followed him closely behind and he noticed the dried tears on your face and the other one was quick to pick you up in his arms, "y/n, look at me. You don't have to be here anymore. I'm taking you out of this place. I'm so sorry."

Your breathing was so faint and it scared him.

He peppered your face with kisses, you were so weak and exhausted. There was no reply from you and he shook your body again.

"She must be unconscious. Let's clean her up and let her rest for a while. When she wakes up, I will feed her." Taeyong offered him.

They both nodded and exited the room. Promising to themselves that they won't ever let you be in this sort of situation again.

When they appeared in front of the others, they saw your unconscious body in his hold. Their hearts clenched at the sight, the pain striking through their body.

How could they just blame you and act deaf ears to your pleadings?

"I'm coming with you." Mark approached him and took you in his arms before going towards his room with Doyoung trailing behind him.

Taeyong ordered Jungwoo and Winwin to contact Dreamies for further discussions about the situation and let others disperse to their respective activities.

No one was willing to leave your side but they had no option other than waiting for you to get consciousness. But Jaehyun quietly walked towards your room to take a glimpse of you.

He was hesitating to enter the room but eventually stepped inside and found them inside the bathroom. They were carefully looking after you.

"Is she okay?"

His sudden voice made the two males turn their head towards him, "of course she is. We are here to keep her safe."

After a while, you were dressed in a pair of comfortable top and loose pants. Mark carefully tugged you in the bed before sitting beside your sleeping figure and caressing the hairs, Doyoung sat near your legs and Jaehyun kept his distance from the bed.

"Let her rest for a while. Taeyong will bring her the food."

They all left the room but Jaehyun went near to you and caressed your head, kissing your temple he whispered, “I’m so sorry, love.”

After a while when you woke up, only to find Taeyong sitting by your side with medicines and food placed on the table that he pulled beside the bed. Your head was spinning a bit but still he helped you sit up and placed the pillow behind you to make you comfortable. Before you could say anything, he caressed your head and smiled at you, following a kiss to the side of your head.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I was so wrong about you."

You remained quiet and just observed how he lifted the bowl from the table and stirred the soup, tasting a spoonful and turning towards you with a spoon.

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"y-you are not mad at me anymore? Please trust me-"

He put the spoon back into the bowl and placed a finger on your lips, "I trust you. Y/n, I love you. I'm regretting treating you like that. It hurts you a lot to see us blaming you for something you didn't do. But I promise you, you will never have to be like this again. I will make this up to you."

"Really? And others...Are they?"

"they are equally sorry, y/n. we just couldn't help but think all that......why were you at the shop though?" he quickly asked you the thing that was still bugging his mind.

"Um...you will know soon. It's a secret." You expectantly stared at him to see his reaction but he just smiled when he brought the spoon to your lips. You quickly parted open your lips to taste the spoon and hummed in the wonderful warm taste. It melted on your tongue like you were melting under his touch.

"I won't ever hurt you."

"I know, Taeyong. You have so much responsibility but I think I made you scared going out here and there. But trust me it's a good secret, nothing to worry about."

"Can't you tell me now?" he pouted and blinked at you.

"No. Then what's the point of the secret?"

"Is this about-"

Someone entered the room and he was quick to sit on your other side and hugged you from the side.

"I'm so sorry baby. Please forgive me. I don't want you to stay away from me." he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck and your fingers entangled with his hairs when he leaned to your body more. Taeyong was still making sure to finish the soup and shook his head at the boy clinging onto you.

"Hey, Mark. It's okay. I was just shocked with you all behaving like that." You said slowly and he nodded, muttering a flow of apologies. The leader wiped your mouth when you finished the food and handed you the medicine to take but when you refused it. Both of them tickled you and joked around and ended up with Mark holding you down on the bed and the oldest one putting inside the medicine and handing you the glass.

Three of you spent some time together before Taeyong left when he caught a call from Jungwoo and he hugged you before pressing a long and soft kiss on your temple then hurrying to take the call. Where you and Mark ended up cuddling together.

"That night..." he was spooning you while your back was pressed against his chest and his one leg was flung upon yours. His fingers were playing with yours when you both were watching the screen displaying a movie.

You hummed in response, "you made me sleep on your lap. I woke up from a nightmare but I felt so secure with you. Thank you."

"I love you. I love you so much baby."

"I love you more, mark." You turned around and cupped his face. Your eyes searched for a particular emotion before pressing your lips to his. He was surprised by your move but when you tried to pull away your face, he held the back of your neck and pulled you closer, making the kiss rough and passionate. Both fighting for dominance but still enjoying the power of each other. You smiled and squirmed when he slid his hand under your tee. His kisses traveled down to your jaw and sloppily kissed your cheek. Admiringly, watching each other, he dipped his head down and bit the soft flesh of your neck, he groaned when you moaned his name. When he hooked a finger with the band of your shorts, you held his wrist.

He quickly stopped his actions and looked at you, cupping your cheeks and shock visible on his face. You chuckled at his reaction and he worriedly asked you, "Is there something wrong?"

It's not like you haven't done this before with him but there was something for which you wanted to wait.

"Can you wait for one more day?"

"Before our anniversary?"

You nodded and he smiled before pecking your lips.

"Of course, I can."

.

.

.

The day before the celebration. You asked them if you could go out. They felt as if they did something wrong that you were taking permission like a child. You bit your lips and stared at them when they were all similarly staring back at you.

Taeyong broke the awkward moment, "I think someone should speak."

"You did just now."

He glared at Jaehyun, who looked away holding back his laugh. The others snickered and you laughed loudly. All of their attention turned back at your standing figure in an elegant knee length dress.

"You all can go with me."

"We?" Winwin asked you and you quickly nodded.

"So?"

They all looked at each other before agreeing and stood up. The one that was hesitant to come near you was Jaehyun. When they all walked towards the door, conversing and joking among them, he remained at the same place. He felt someone entangled a hand with his and when he looked down at his side, you were smiling brightly at him.

"Let's go, my prince."

"Y/n...you.."

You pulled him towards the door. But he was staring at you like a lost man, who knew nothing other than the directions you would give him. He smiled when he noticed the dress you were wearing was the one he gave you on your birthday last time.

"I'm trying to forget about that day so please don't remind me."

He stopped in his track and you turned towards him, "what happe-"

He pressed his lips to yours. He was laughing between the kisses when you were trying to say something. He pulled apart and you glared at him before looking at your appearance on the phone screen.

"you ruined my lipstick."

"I would have ruined you but it's okay coz it's just the lipstick for now."

"Jae..." you groaned but he grabbed your chin softly and other hand quickly went up , a finger wiping away the smudged out portion and then patted your cheek with the clean fingers.

"you look beautiful like always."

Doyoung came back and pulled you both towards the car.

The car ride was fun. Except for Jungwoo clinging onto your side ans asking you the same question repeatedly, "why can't we know the secret now? Please, y/n."

"I am surprised all of you are in a gang."

Taeyong chuckled, "don't add him. He doesn't do anything other than hacking and intruding other's business from his private place."

He scoffed in reply, "at least I keep company with our girl. Right?"

You nodded. It's not like they were not serious with their job. When the work mode is on, you wouldn't even match the people who are the same with the ones you are currently laughing with. Even you get scared. Okay, last time you really got.

Arriving at the mall, you quickly got out of the car to make a quick call with your friend. You told her to receive the perfumes and flowers from the shop tomorrow morning and keep them in the café. You wanted to celebrate your anniversary at the café and your friend was helping you to get all the orders ready for tomorrow so that today, you can spend your day with the boys.

You bought a lot of things, some necessary and some unnecessary. Jungwoo was with you and others went off to other places.

"you are buying us gifts but not letting us buy for you."

"tomorrow."

"Why? I can buy it today. Wait, I can buy for you everyday."

"Don't show off." You turned around to look at the dress when he picked one from the other row and handed it to you, "wear this tomorrow. This is so perfect."

"are you serious? Do you know my size?"

He smirked and bent to whisper in your ears, "I know every inch and curves how they would fit them and how it would be easy to rip off."

Your eyes went round and you hit his arm when he burst out laughing, "Jungwoo!"

You snatched the dress and walked towards the trial room and when you put on the dress, it seemed like it was the one for you. As if They will marry you tomorrow. Marriage...

Jungwoo knocked at the door and when you opened it, he pushed you inside and locked the door behind.

"what happened?"

"I don't want others to get to see you before me." his gaze moved and his breath hitched. You were looking more beautiful than he projected an imagery picture of you in the dress in his mind.

He pecked your lips and then your temple, "you look like mine. I love you, y/n."

"Always yours. I love you so much Jungwoo."

Done with the things you wanted to buy. Jungwoo went to where Jaehyun was and you were alone walking through the newborn section and smiling. You picked up a pink baby wrap towel and someone back hugged you.

"why are you buying this?" his deep voice sent a shiver down your body.

"I am not buying...just watching... they are so cute. Look at this, Taeyong."

He pressed a kiss on your cheek, "We can someday when we will have a baby."

You turned around when his arms dropped down, "it will be soon."

He smirked to see the excitement on your face, he tugged your hairs before raising a brow, "so am I getting the hint to spend some time with me and then we can expand our family. You and I and our daughter."

"you want a girl?"

"I'm fine with both but to have a girl. I love the idea of mini you running around the house and us all chasing her around."

You hugged him tightly, "I love you, Taeyong."

"I love you too, my princess."

"Wait for tomorrow, please."

"Of course."

.

.

You all went home after almost buying the whole mall and Jaehyun was casually showing off and showing smirks that he brought the costliest items. Oh boy! How wrong he is. He should just see the expenses of Taeyong. Winwin whispered to you that he would be sleeping with you because both of you haven't spent a night together. You agreed quickly.

After the dinner when you were going towards the room, Winwin asked you to go with him to the garden and of course, you would.

"So why are we here?" you were staring up at the sky while sitting on the outdoor swing with him by your side.

"I'm sorry." He muttered quietly.

"I know."

He turned towards you and shook his head, "don't forgive us so easily, y/n. we don't deserve it."

"Then don't say sorry. Stop reminding me about that. Think about tomorrow and let us enjoy the night."

He caressed your head, " you are the sweetest one. The innocent one in our life and I don't want to hurt you but still I did."

"And I forgive you."

He sadly chuckled and pulled you closer, "Can you tell me the secret for tomorrow?"

You stared at him and waited if he wanted to say something but when he didn't, you kissed his cheek and smiled, "No. You have to wait."

"Are you planning a surprise? For us?"

"Maybe...or something more than you can expect."

He furrowed his brows when you caressed his cheek softly, "see...you are the innocent one now."

"really?" he grabbed your neck and pulled you in for a hungry and deep kiss. You were laughing and clutching his shirt. His other hand was caressing your back and hands, melting you under his control. He pulled apart and started panting for air.

"And now?"

"still the innocent." As the words left your mouth, he swept you in his arms and turned round and round. Both of your laughs echoed in the garden.

"I love you...I love you...I love you, My innocent girl."

"I love you too, my innocent boy."

Your teasing made him tickle you in his hold and you laughed out more.

Taeyong was watching you from his balcony with the wine in his hand. He was smiling ear to ear seeing you so happy.

He would keep you safe till the end.

.

.

.

Finally THE DAY.

Winwin woke you up, calling out your name lightly and keeping you close to him. He peppered your face with kisses and you were giggling all the way when he scooped you in his arms and took you to the bathroom to get ready. You looked at the mirror and felt so happy, quickly did your morning routine before running down the stairs to greet your boys. But you could only find Doyoung at the table preparing the plates and decorating it with the final touch.

The house looked amazing.

"Don't tell me you all did this within a night."

"Then What do you think? You were blind to not notice it till yesterday?"

You reached near the table and when you went to pick up a pancake, he swatted your hand away and you whined.

"Let others come. No eating before greeting."

"No greetings to you."

You turned around and folded your hands above your chest, he chuckled and with slow steps went behind you and snaked his arms around, resting his head on your shoulder.

"Happy Anniversary, My love." He kissed your shoulder, the deep round neckline of the dress gave him access to your soft flesh. Your hairs were tied up and he kissed the crook of your neck and his teeth grazing the skin and licking the jaw, "I love you, y/n."

"Doyoung, I love you. Happy Anniversary."

He turned you around to kiss you. His kisses are always soft and takes his whole time to devour the moment. Just like now, he didn't care what others will see but he just wanted to show you his love for you.

You were smiling all the while but the sweet moment got interrupted by the one who could enter the place without any sound but to disturb you both, he purposely made sounds.

"Did I interrupt something?"

"Yes. My love life." Doyoung spat at him and groaned but didn't let you go when the other one laughed and came near you.

You pulled apart from the kiss and looked at Taeyong. The other one was back hugging you and nuzzling his nose into your neck.

Taeyong cupped your cheek, "happy anniversary, princess."

"Happy anniversary girl's dad."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." You laughed out and noticed Jungwoo and Winwin entering the place when one of them muttered a quiet happy anniversary to you because he was always shy in front of others but the other one had to make it dramatic.

"Everyone. Present here. Wait two are missing."

All of you were watching his stupid act, standing on the chair. He craned his neck to look at the stairs and waited for a few seconds before Mark and Jaehyun walked down with bright smiles on their faces.

"Okay here we have Mark and Jaehyun. Then We have Winwin at the table. Mr. Taeyong and Doyoung with our special girl, y/n." He stepped forward to you and took out a flower and kissed it before extending it to you, " a token of love for my precious soul."

"Thank you. Happy Anniversary to my dramatic love."

"Happy Anniversary, y/n." He pulled you away from the one hugging you and stepped towards the table.

You sat between Jaehyun and Mark and they both greeted you following with a smile and soft kiss. Doyoung cut a piece of the pancake and brought it to your lips. You chuckled and quickly ate it.

"Are these all for me?"you asked them.

"Yes. All for the special one." Mark excitedly said and kissed your cheek.

Winwin cleared his throat from across the table, "so what should we do today?"

"Give her the gifts."Mark proposed the idea but you quickly shook your head.

"No not now. My surprise is still left."

"Wait. Yeah, the secret. So tell me." Winwin happily nodded and stared at you.

"No. Get dressed. We are going to my cafe and then everything will be revealed."

"Promise?"

"Of course, Doyoung."

They all quickly dressed up in some denims or leathers but of course they were looking fine individually. You couldn't take your eyes from one of them. Are you even matching with them?

You looked down at your dress and Jungwoo grabbed your shoulders to face them.

"How is she looking?"

The moment their gaze fell on you, everyone stopped, everything was still, a look of adoration and love painted across their faces. They approached where you were shyly looking away when Jungwoo was keeping you in place.

"You look like my queen, love." Taeyong took your hand and kissed the back of your hand. Jaehyun kissed the side of your head and pulled you towards him, "well, we have something more to say but let's go to the cafe first."

"Then let's go."

It didn't take much time to reach the destination but as soon as you stepped inside the door. You started to feel nervous and that did get noticed by them. They were mesmerized by the wonderful decoration that you did and planned for the day. Somewhere, they felt sorry to even blame you for keeping secrets for this. Doyoung didn't leave your hand when you were showing around the details you organized which perfectly matched all six of their likings but the moment they came across the pink box with a letter on top of it. You stopped them.

"Wait!"

They all turned towards you.

"There's something I want to tell you."

Taeyong smiled at you, "go ahead."

"No. First you gave me the surprise and then I did so now it's your turn to tell me first and then I will. How about this?"

Mark smiled and approached you, hugging you from behind and then you noticed Taeyong pulling out a box from his leather jacket.

"Woah! What's that?"

"It's-"

“Y/n!”

“Y/n!”

"Y/n!"

You knew your friend's voice and when you heard her screaming from outside, you ran towards the door and pushed it open.

The boys shouted out your name but you didn't listen and searched for your friend outside the cafe.

There was no one.

No one on the silent and peaceful afternoon street. You felt weird because you were so sure that you heard your friend call out for you so many times.

Are you hearing things?

You felt someone watching you. You looked in each direction but you couldn't see anyone. The boys already exited the cafe.

"Who was there?" Winwin asked while looking around.

"I heard my friend calling for me."

"Then where is she?"

"I don't know."

Doyoung stepped in front of you and held your wrist, "let's go inside. Maybe she was fooling around."

You nodded and turned around with them.

But the moment you took a step.

All of you heard a gunshot.

What happened?

"Ah...D-doyoung."

"Y/n!"

As soon as they saw you, blood was flowing out of your chest. You got shot? Who shot you? They frantically looked around but there was no one in their sight. Doyoung sat on his knees when he felt your limp body leaning on him.

"It's okay, y/n. I will save you. Just wait for a while. We will take you to the hospital soon."

He held your hand when Mark was searching for a way to stop the flow of blood. But his mind was not working and processing the things to do.

The day started with so much joy and love but suddenly what just happened?

Both of the men by your side were scared. Scared to lose you. You were fighting back the urge to seep into sleep but clutched his hand tightly to stay awake. Mark was repeatedly telling you to keep your eyes open.

"Baring the car. Do it fast." Taeyong pushed Jaehyun towards the car but you weakly called out their names and asked them to come to you.

"Just take her to the hospital. Now!"

"Mark. No...I-i don't think I can make it."

"No no y/n. You can." He pressed your hand, which was clutching your chest.

"Taeyong, tell me what you wanted to say. Please"

"Let's go to the hospital."

you shook your head and looked at Winwin, "Can you bring me the pink box? please..." you coughed. Jaehyun already went to bring the car and you were clutching Doyoung's hand tightly. tears escaping your eyes even though you didn't want to cry. Winwin jogged inside the cafe and quickly he picked up the note and the box and wasting no more time, he went towards you.

"Get inside." Jaehyun opened the door for you all.

"Taeyong, tell me please."

he was hesitant to tell you at that moment but wasting unnecessary time means risking your life more. your breath was heaving and Mark was trying his best to keep you awake. Winwin approached the scene and when you noticed him, you weakly smiled at him.

But Taeyong pulled out the black box from his jacket and opened it. your glistening eyes blinked slowly, everything was blur, you could feel a small thing placed on your palm. Taeyong took your hand away from Doyoung's shirt.

you brought the thing closer to you.

It's a ring.

before you could say anything. you all entered the care. you were still looking at the ring. When Jungwoo noticed your fixed gaze on the ring and your grip was about to loosen. He curled your fingers and held your fist tightly. 

Taeyong held back his tears and weakly said from the passenger seat, "we were going to ask you to marry us. A proposal ring."

you heard them. you wanted to say a lot of things but you couldn't. you wanted to say something else at the moment.

"Winwin, give the box to Taeyong." he was quick to follow your words. Jaehyun was often glancing at you from the rear mirror and to the front. their base hospital is a bit far away and they couldn't risk you reaching there so whatever problem they have to face, they were going to if they had to go to the city hospital.

Winwin kept the note in his hand and it was shaking in his hold. 

"trust me...i love you......" you weakly whispered but the one holding you heard it.

"Y/n...y/n...don't close your eyes...please..hey stay awake."

you didn't open your eyes.

nor you were clutching his hand.

"y/n..."

"drive faster!" Taeyong almost shouted at him.

Mark hesitatingly asked, "what's inside the box?"

Taeyong stared at it for a while and then when he opened it. A tear dropped inside the box. Jaehyun's breath hitched and looked at you but your eyes were closed. 

"Y/n...baby..."

aren't you going to smile at him? atleast for the last time.

Congratulations! It's a girl.'

Mark snatched the box from him and his eyes went wide. he urged the other to open the note and there it was, you have ranted everything like always and in the end,

'I collected some flowers for each day after I got the news of pregnancy. I could tell you earlier but I wanted to say it on a special day. I am not hiding anything from you except this. Just trust me. I want to give it to you all as a surprise.'

Jungwoo brought your hand to his lips to plant a kiss.

Doyoung pressed a kiss on your temple, "I trust you."

Are you just going to leave them now?

They won’t trust anything anymore when you didn’t even say the final goodbye.

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. If my favoritism is showing with some members then please try to understand oz they are my bias.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg

[open!]

[catboyieejeno]

camera roll; kim jungwoo

pictures you've taken of your boyfriend, jungwoo

more of the camera roll series

ੈ♡.*·

masterlist

[lovelywooz]

New spicy Woo post is coming up soon !!

[multifandomslxt]

hey sis I have a question which nct 127 members are rough during sex and which one's arent?

Have a nice dayyy

xoxo

Rough Usually

Yuta (Are you surprised?)

Jaehyun (Depends on the day but the man can be selfish asf when he wants to cum)

Johnny (RARE. Also depends on the day and how you were behaving)

Haechan (He's a brat. He wants to be fucked rough and he wants to fuck rough. Plain and simple)

Not Rough Usually

Taeyong (OMG. He just wants you to feel good. Would literally break his heart to get rough with you)

Mark (He's too scared but dw I think you could convince him)

Taeil (Slow and passionate. He likes laidback sex... just don't piss him off or else then he would be in the rough category.)

Jungwoo (You'd have to beg him to be rough with you. You're literally his baby so he treats you like a fragile china doll)

HALF AND HALF

Doyoung (YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET!)