ncveed

[ncveed]

aurora

for a moment aurora could pretend it had always been like this. that there was never a time where they hadn’t been happy. that there was never a time when they had been fighting, months and months spent ignoring each other. for a moment aurora could imagine that it had been just now when he had told her he loved her, and she had said it back straight away. that it hadn’t been over a month ago inside a closet, that she hadn’t run away like a child spooked by a dream. but that wasn’t the case. and as much as she wished it had happened that way, all smooth and fairy tale-like, it hadn’t. but nothing with the two of them had ever been conventional. no, straight from the start it had all been by chance. where would she have been now if he hadn’t shown up all those years ago to watch her race? would they still have found each other? would she have been in the arms of another? fast forward, then. what if that night at the charity gala when they were dancing, bodies pressed closer than they had ever been, he hadn’t pulled back? what if he hadn’t gazed into her eyes, expression unreadable, and kissed her? would they still be here now? or perhaps a better question would be what would have happened if aurora hadn’t fought it. instead, what if she had accepted the fact that the very moment his lips pressed against her for that first time, something had flashed within her. it was a simple moment, a warm stirring of her chest. one moment he was looking at her and the next he was kissing her, and all she was thinking was oh, this is something. but she’d reacted in the complete opposite way. she ran away like a fool, like a coward. she’d yelled at him for ruining their friendship, allowed him to blame himself for making such a careless mistake when the whole time she knew it was something she’d been hoping he’d do for months. because at first, yes, it was friendship. a real friendship like she’d never known before. a friendship with someone compassionate and thoughtful, a friendship with someone who kept the bed warm. but she’d fallen for him already, before that night he first kissed her she’d already known it. she’d never admit it, but she had known it. aurora didn’t know when it had happened– if naveed were to ask her to pinpoint the day she knew she was in love, the girl would never be able to answer. one day everything was normal and the next she’s looking at him, really looking at him. and like a bullet in the back it all hits her, how stupidly in love with this boy she was. but aurora had never told him, and because of that it didn’t matter. so even further forward, then. to those long months spent apart. to the way his absence in her life felt like something physical, and ache she could not heal. not with all the drugs and alcohol in the world, not with the foreign streets of every city they visited. there was nothing aurora could do to stop herself from missing him, from noticing the way the bed felt empty without him there. and then even further down the road, then. to that moment when they’d both been drunk to the point of giddiness. to that evening she spent kissing him for the first time since the dance, too intoxicated to stop herself from acting on her feelings. but she had left then, too. after waking up in his bed she hadn’t stayed, she hadn’t let him see her. aurora left without a trace, letting the boy believe it was all a dream. she’d convinced herself she was doing him a favor, sparing him from being with such a horrible person. but in return she’d made herself even more miserable, unable to cope with the fact that she was already stupidly in love. and then even further forward to the moment that had changed it all. that childish dare that landed the both of them in a closet, lips locked in an act of passion. she’d never forget the way he looked at her, eyes wild, as if it was the first time he’d ever set eyes on her. when he told her he loved her she had felt her heart jump into her throat, both in unadulterated fear and happiness. and so she had ran again, as if running from him could have solved it all. as if pushing him away, pushing her own feelings away, could erase the fact that she’d spent months wishing she’d had the courage and the audacity to have told him those three same words. if aurora had spared them those torturous months apart, if she had told him she loved him from the moment she knew, would they have been as happy as they were now? or would they have gotten together only to fall apart, another mistake aurora was no doubt bound to make in the future causing them to split? or would they be like this forever, two people irrevocably in love? maybe all the what if’s in the world would mean something to aurora later, but as for now she wanted nothing to do with those kind of thoughts. all she wanted to do was focus on the here, the fact that she told him she loved him ad she’d meant it. the fact that now they were together for the first time in months, and she was happier than she’d ever been in her entire life. “i learn new things about you everyday, nav. any more secret addictions i should know about?” she teased, eyes alight in mirth. “oh totally, there’s nobody else in this room you can cuddle with to keep warm. what a cold and lonely night it will be for you.” aurora played along, unable to keep from grinning. once she was kissing him it was hard to stop, the way his body felt against hers more addicting than anything she’d ever gotten high off of. control was never aurora’s strong suit, but around naveed it was even harder. against his hands she melted, in awe at his ability to turn a forest fire like her into nothing but running water. lying next to him she let out a laugh, fingertips brushing the side of his face. “oh, i’ve noticed.” she shot back with a smirk, unable to help herself. aurora was smiling again as she obliged to his command, sitting up so she could retrieve the shirt he’d lent her and slip it over her head. the damn thing smelled like him– and like any female protagonist in a romance film, it made her beam just that much brighter. this is what it’s supposed to feel like, she decided. this is the feeling people fight so hard for. as soon as he yawned she was doing the same, not having realized just how tired she herself was without taking away the distraction of his lips on hers. aurora crawled into the spot next to him, lifting the sheets above them both before resting her against his chest. it only felt natural to curl up against him, their bodies fitting perfectly together for the first time in months. the girl wanted to grab his hands, to hold his face between her fingers and look at him. she wanted to promise him that it would always be like this. she wanted to ask him to never leave her, to keep on loving her for as long as they had. instead she continued to lay there, listening to the steady beat of his heart, the gentle rise and fall of his chest every time he drew a breath relaxing her. “i love you so much, naveed khan.” she stated after a moment with a soft intensity, eyes fluttering shut in an attempt to induce sleep. “i promise i’ll stay.”

the world had a funny way of placing things right where they belong. one minute you’re lying on your bed, sofa -- wherever, thinking of the worst that’s yet to come. the pain surrounding your heart wasn’t forever, that’s what they told you. that’s what everyone tells you -- it’s universal, right? whatever was happening in the world didn’t amount to a heartache, at least that was the advice from his sister. heartaches, to naveed they were weak. he let even the simplest ache consume him until it wrapped around him completely and rendered him useless on the floor. he hadn’t given much thought into letting things as such consume him, he just let it happen. he let the worst take him and distort him in such a way he loses a piece of him every time. naveed never thought much about how to approach someone, it was all natural. natural in a way that talking to people and finding them likable wasn’t the biggest or the worst thing in his world; it wasn’t like riding a bike or taking your first steps but the flow of the smallest stream in a forest. no one noticed how he falls for everyone he meets, whether it’s because of their knowledge, their charm or the complete vibe they gave off -- he fell for it all. even for the smallest amount of infatuation found its way out of him and latching onto the other. he was hard to shake it off the boy. he was always bright and up about wanting to meet new people, aurora was no exception. naveed could have easily talked to anyone in the crowd that night, easily could have found himself falling for someone else among a crowd of illegal drag race goers. but it was the brunette with her hair flying behind her from the slight wind picking up that night, it was the stoic faced, eyes like daggers that had caught his eye.  like anyone, they’d run like hell around aurora. hell, naveed endured months of  ‘she’s clearly blunt why do you hang with her?’ ‘her? too mean for me.’ ‘she’s a bit rude’, on the ship but that was the beauty. he was selfish, he loved that he got the side she refused to show with anyone else. while everyone had their image of aurora markos, he had his own and he was damn glad he had an image of a huge softy with a smile that set his heart on fire and his mind exploding with thoughts. while she had been blunt with her peers, she only reminded him that there was always good in people despite what front they present. although naveed hardly ever listened to that idea, the good in people -- but he was always shocked and slightly surprised when the kindness was paid forward, to him at least. for majority of his upbringing, before the fall out, hazel eyes were bright and bursting with the desire of wanting to run around and make himself known; to push himself into people’s lives and soften them up to him but that image only sunk and flipped a complete 360 when his father’s heart had been broken by someone who he could trust more than blood. naveed saw that as a crack in the image he built for people. people were cruel, they’re all capable of performing horrible duties. who’s to say he wouldn’t either? who’s to say everyone you meet isn’t the worst, who’s to say that you won’t be left behind after a high. the crack along the image grew when his world came tumbling down after putting his own trust in someone elses hands only for them to walk out on him. his picture perfect world built up in his mind shattered completely and it took years for his heart to rebuild after that. being with cora was a different story, he wasn’t going to lie though -- there were times where he had to tell himself it wasn’t fake that what they shared was real. it was hard to come back after a long drop, naveed had always said. but he was making it up and only continued when he met aurora. naveed had walked out on aurora before she could, that was the sole reasoning. break her heart before she broke yours. break anyone’s before they could ever do that to you ever again. he knew it was horrible, it made him feel like complete garbage to do it but he said he wouldn’t and he had, once more at the dance. break their heart before they break yours. he wanted to kick himself for it but why was he so broken when she walked out on him after he told her he loves her? why was it so shocking for naveed khan, had been the one to walk out on her  twice. it hurt, it was like reopening an old wound with the feelings pouring out onto the floor and he couldn’t figure out whether or not to let it pour out until someone came along and fixed it again or force himself to gather himself up and stop with putting his heart in the wrong place; he figured to let the wound bleed. it was a good decision on his part, at least, she came back. she came to his door, she left a smile on his face, she picked up the bandage and placed it over the broken part. she was the healer in his mess of scattered broken shards of his heart.  he was smiling, as if that were rare when it came to naveed ali khan. anyone could compliment him and he’d be beaming brighter than the sun but this was the love of his life. or so he assumed, who cared? love was in the moment, he was going to sit in it until it consumed every part of him. he smiled like he had never before, this was what love was -- this was the smile he’d wake up to ten am breakfast calls from his parents and see the vibe between them shared between the smallest glances and the mirroring grins. this is what naveed had been waiting for. his cheeks could have hurt, easily of course? but no. naveed could smile for days on end and it wouldn’t leave even the smallest ache on his face. they were joking together, they were acting like a couple without even stating as so. he wanted to hear her talk until he grew tired of it, until the only silence he wanted from was from her. until his heart was ready to burst behind his chest cavity and it’d be okay with him -- it would mean something this time. “the only secret you should know about is my secret beanie baby collection.” he slipped into bed beside her, curling up at her side as if it were the most natural reflex. “i’m kidding about that collection, that isn’t real.” he said. naveed reached behind him to prop up the pillow behind him to give him the slightest leverage. his fingers brush up against her hand, tapping each finger with his index until he picked up the hand and slipped his into hers. he admired the skin on skin contact; there was something so intimate about hand holding that left shivers running down his back and goosebumps to rise along his arms. his necked craned to catch the sight of her from his angle. the tone was evident, she was falling asleep and he could have used some himself but he had never felt more alive in that moment. perhaps he’d fall asleep soon after but not now, he wanted to enjoy every moment given. he brings up their hands, kissing each knuckle. this was different, this wasn’t after her rogue fights -- this was his aurora, this was his girl. this is was love. “i love you too.” he said, leaning down with his cheek resting upon her head. “i love you so much more.” his tone was soft whisper, breathy even. he places a kiss atop her head. this was the beginning of a journey.

late nights || aurora & naveed

[ncveed]

aurora

nothing gold can stay– it was a lesson robert frost had taught her a long time ago, four words that had stuck with aurora for the majority of her life. every time she was presented with something good she destroyed it. she was not midas with a golden touch, instead anything she laid her hands on turned to dust. the girl had convinced herself it was better to ruin her own happiness before life had a chance to do it for her, and so she had become her own worst enemy, forever the shadow of death always ready to take. good things almost always led to disappointment anyway, that much aurora knew. she had no idea how people could continue to get their hopes up again and again, to remain faithful to the romanticism of life, when all life wanted to do was knock them on their ass. aurora never understood the concept of optimism, of seeing this as better than they were. what was the point of fooling yourself with the idea that maybe things would get better? that maybe life would be kinder? it was a recipe for unhappiness, a path that only led to dissatisfaction when one figured out the truth. as a child she had observed happiness in others with watchful eyes– a couple at the supermarket with bright expressions, teenagers holding hands in the park, kisses pressed to cheeks and hands and lips. it had all seemed to delicate and fleeting, a calm before the storm. because aurora had observed unhappiness, too. in the way her mother and father hardly looked at each other anymore, in the way her family never hugged her when they saw her, instead nodded like a pair of acquaintances. she’d observed unhappiness in the way a stranger’s yell carried out into the night, in the way fists so easily flew during an argument. and she had decided that the bad will always follow the good, that all golden things are rotten on the inside, and it was only a matter of time before they were gone. and if aurora could not find something rotten in the gold she’d create it, like pressing her thumbs into the bruises of an overly ripe fruit until it burst. it was better to be disappointed with herself, the girl decided. it was, after all, a feeling aurora was all to  familiar with anyway. and so she’d lived her life not only in pessimism but in fear. in fear that maybe all these years she’d been wrong, that maybe love and happiness was something worth trying for, that it was possible even for someone so empty. aurora had confused a fists with a kisses, artificial highs for affection. she’d decided that maybe the drugs and the fights were good enough, that maybe the rush that came with destroying herself was the same thing. that maybe love felt a lot like dying. but god had she’d been wrong. love felt nothing like that, it was so much bigger, taking up all the space inside her chest until she was sure she’d choke on it. she was so in love it was almost painful, the one emotion big enough to make her forget about anything else. how had she resisted it for so long? how had she managed to hide it, to shove it into the deepest part of her chest until it was forgotten? aurora should have told him sooner, she should have swallowed past all her destructive tendencies and spat it out the moment it had started. but there was no use dwelling on the past– it was something concrete, already gone. unchangeable. the present was something entirely different. the present was aurora in a bed with a beautiful boy who loved her, a boy she loved like she had never loved another. the present was his hands on her body, his lips against her skin, the way everything seemed to light up whenever he was around. how could she ever tell him he was the best thing to ever walk into her life and have him understand it? a giggle passed from her lips, the sound so sweet aurora was almost startled. “two suitcases for shoes?” the girl gasped, blue eyes wide in mock surprise. “naveed, i think you may have an addiction. don’t be scared though, i’m sure it’s curable.” she nodded, lips still spread into the happiest of grins. aurora coked an eyebrow at him, fingers still tracing patterns across his bare chest. “yes, that’s exactly what. besides, it was your idea.” she grinned, amused by his dramatization. her request had caused a change in the air, everything suddenly feeling a lot more intimate. she stayed silent as he prepped himself, his nerves only adding to the butterflies already turning her stomach in anticipation. it wasn’t a hard task– all he was doing was unzipping her dress. and yet it felt like something so much bigger. “i trust you.” aurora let out in a breath she hadn’t known she was even holding as he unzipped the dress, smooth skin electrified under his touch as he brushed her hair away. her eyes fluttered shut in a flurry of dark lashes, pink lips parting with a soft moan as his lips traveled up her neck. love and desire were making a forest fire out of her, every touch a thousand times more powerful, leaving her skin buzzing with electricity. aurora let him turn her so they were face to face again, lips kissing back with a passionate hunger she hadn’t even thought was possible before this very moment. her fingers entangled themselves in his hair, tugging on it in a way that wasn’t too rough. she pulled back with a quiet gasp for air, cerulean gaze boring into his as she let the fabric of her dress fall completely off her slim frame. in that moment there were two hearts resting on the floor next to the pile of dark material– one hers, both his. aurora bit down on her bottom lip, a reminder to control herself, but she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t getting hard. she took a step forward, palm flat against his chest as she pushed him backwards with as much restrain as she could muster until he was back on the bed. and then she was the one trailing kisses down his neck, lips moving down to his chest as her hands followed. “it’s very messy.” she managed in between breaths, a reminder that was slowly but surely loosing it’s effect the longer she continued. close never seemed to feel close enough with him. her brain was a puddle of lovesick mush, rendered useless by not only the drugs and alcohol, but the heat of her own passion. aurora moved from on top of him to next to him, chest rising and falling with every breath as she glanced at him. “i should probably put on your shirt now.”

naveed believed fairy-tales were told to keep the hopeless romantics on their toes. he never understood those who believed love was out there, he never understood how it all worked. bentley described him as cynical and for the most part it was true. he wasn’t a hopeless romantic like the rest of the world out there but a realist. he told her there were no such things as the ‘prince’ returning for the princess. there was never a happy ending in the real world. people fell in love and fell out of love. people get married and marriage fail. the love doesn't’ stop at the kisses that keep you wanting more. it doesn’t end at the lingering touches but it blossoms from friendships. one minute you’re sitting there swearing to yourself nothing would get in the way, nothing could possibly ruin something so good until you become the catalyst in the equation. some people could take the chance of a lifetime by giving into the temptation and finding an everlasting happiness that comes from it but with naveed it only took himself days of convincing himself to end the thoughts consuming every inch of his mind, day after day as he lied next to her and day after day he’d catch himself seeing her under a new light. a light that exposed parts of her that he saw but something was different. he’d shrug it off -- everyone shared bits about them, that’s what best friends did. he saw aurora every night before bed but he woke up to someone he was falling in love. maybe bentley had been right, love was out there and there were happy endings whether or not people wanted to believe so but naveed still had his suspicions throughout the events in his life that made him believe so. how long until he and her would last? how long until one of them decide it wasn’t for them anymore? the thoughts only closed a large hand around his heart, causing his chest cavity to tighten. how long until they were back to being in a cold war against each other? why had naveed brought such into his own mind was beyond him. he was beyond ecstatic that things were working out in this point of his life; where he was laughing with the girl who’s smile lit each star in the sky. he was beaming with happiness every time they kissed, his body aching for the touch and wanting more as each moment passed with it’s ending. he was smiling, a genuine smile upon his pink lips. the smile didn’t stop there but was evident in the way his eyes crinkled with every touched grin on his features. he saw the happiness clearly in aurora and it only continued to match his. maybe he was imagining the whole deal, this could have easily been himself being caught up in another dream but it was all real and even then he had a hard time believing that aurora was here with him. that she was sharing the smiles and the laughs with him and that she was kissing him back. naveed had to give it to those that bragged about this, bragged about their girlfriends -- he never entirely understood. he wanted to step out and scream about it, scream that he was in love. he wanted the world to know but for now she was his world and it didn’t get better than that. it couldn’t have. he laughed, heard bobbing back as his hand covered his mouth at her comment. “yeah two suitcases. i kind of love shopping for shoes, it’s therapeutically. you just have to have new things, the best things -- i have a persona to keep up with aurora.” he addressed with his eyes averting to the sheets. “oh shut up, i don’t have an addiction but hey -- it’s a pretty good damn addiction to have in my opinion.” he retorted followed by his tongue sticking out momentarily.  there it was again, her smile that only caught him mirroring one of his own. naveed leaned forward, teeth grazing the tip of her nose. “it was my idea but now ..” he peered down at the places where her touch had left him high, “i was going to say i regret it but what can you do? at least i have the sheets to keep me warm. not like there’s someone else in here.” his voice trailed along with his eyes as they turned to the ceiling. his head tilt slightly back, occasionally looking to her from his positioning. there was something addicting in the way his lips moved against hers. he was on a ride he didn’t want to get off. he had to tell himself it wasn’t right, it wasn’t at the right time but he was consumed by the thought of running his fingers along the familiar porcelain skin. it was hard to keep his mind from wandering from wanting more, even so when he was being pushed down towards the bed. he called out her name in one single breath, wanting her lips to never leave the place from his neck. but as soon as it had happened, it was over and he was lying there with eyes fluttering open with her absence. he turned his head, face flushed from what had just happened. he ran his hand over his face, “you’re making this really hard.” he said, managing to grin at her. “alright get up, get that shirt on before i’m kissing you again.” he told her, leaning over to press a small kiss to her forehead. he rose from the bed now -- maybe that’d keep him from giving into the thoughts bouncing around in his mind. he only paced before the foot of his bed as he detached himself from her. his index tapped on his bottom lip with his gaze fixated on her. his arms stretched above his head followed by a yawn, “all this excitement left me feeling tired. now..” he started, walking over to the bed once more and taking a seat, “.. i know i’m going to have the best nights sleep in a while.” which was true, it was slightly odd to lie in a bed completely unfamiliar to him without her by his side. his body took shape of her bed, finding comfort in her sheets and the mattress and her. without it, he was left restless and lacking the sleep he really needed.

late nights || aurora & naveed

[ncveed]

ffslcgan

lucian knew he fucked up. he didn’t know much about himself at this point, but he knew naveed was his best friend… and he knew he ruined that… and he also knew he’d do whatever it’d take to get him back. he couldn’t get his mind off of the confession given to him though, making the curly haired male question each and every action both of them committed. he wondered why being as observant as he was, how he couldn’t tell that naveed returned the feelings. he wondered how he let the opportunity leave his very fingertips. it of course wasn’t his priority to get naveed to love him once again, not like that at least. he wanted his best friend back first, and whatever happened, would happen. that didn’t make it easy to ignore his own feelings though. still, he’d try his best, and perhaps ignore the fact that naveed had a girlfriend and such. he was simply thankful that he could speak to the man again. it was reassuring that maybe he could get his trust back. he was content on how things were going. things were natural on the phone, being able to speak for quite a while before he had passed out, fallen asleep to his best friend’s voice for the first time in years. getting to joke around with him the next day. getting to spend this day – right now, for hours and hours with him. lucian was… terrified, but optimistic. he couldn’t picture getting in a fight with the other during a long car ride, and he himself refused to let any awkward silence pass during the trip. lucian knew how to talk, and talk, and talk some more. he knew how to make naveed invested in what he had to say. knew how to make him smile and laugh. so, after dressing himself in a pattered sheer button up top, blackened skinny jeans, and a dark shade of healed boots, he made his way out of the private room with the keys of the rental car he already had set outside the dock, his wallet, the printed out amusement park tickets, and his phone. he didn’t exactly know where he was meant to meet naveed, so he took out his phone to send a text while on his hunt around the cruise ship for him. a groan passed his pink, plump lips as a couple minutes of hopeless wandering occurred and no text reply. he leaned against one of the railings, just having the device pressed to his ear as his green hues landed on the familiar male, causing a bright dimpled smile to be placed on his own features. he tucked his phone in his back pocket and made his way to the other, moving to wrap his arms around naveed from behind, resting his chin on the other’s shoulder. “y’know, might be slightly helpful if you answer your fuckin’ phone.”

it was easy for him to lose himself in a city. it was easy immerse himself into the crowd of people who were completely foreign to him. it was a different kind of beauty in a way, with the way their lips shaped words in a language he didn’t quite understand but it was music to his ears. he stood there with his arms crossed, admiring the carefully crafted buildings -- seemingly old but the way the sun’s bright rays projected itself onto the city making it seem as if the city was built over night. he sucked in a breath, eyes squeezing shut as he captured the image and stored it into a box of memories in his mind. he couldn’t help himself but to break into a smile at the momentary happiness he felt standing here, that was until he felt another body pressed against him and a wave of breath hitting the back of his neck cause the hairs on his arm to rise. his mind only took him back to the days when they were kids. where even the slightest touch from lucian would send his heart doing different tricks behind its cage. he looked back on the memory of lingering touches, lying beside each in bed and living in a world that was only exclusive to them. but all that seemed so distant and now he only had the emptiness following in suit of any memory or action from lucian. he laughed, more nervous than a genuine one before turning to face him. “you called?” he asked, disregarding what just happened, picking up his phone from his back pocket and looking at the missed call followed by other notifications. "well..” he looked up from the device to catch a his eyes, “you know what they say?” he went on, clearly having no excuse for his action. “listen i was admiring the city and your dumbass didn’t fucking tell me where to meet so i just assumed we’d meet here?” he knocked lucian back with a slight punch to the arm. “if you wanted to pick me up, could have left me some details about that.” his eyes fell to the other boys attire before looking down his own pair of jeans and a plain black tee. he cocked a brow at lucian, looking back and forth from his attire to his own. his only response was a soft chuckle, “we’re going to an amusement park. you’re going to sweat and probably get blistered feet.” naveed grabbed his shoulder, giving it a squeeze as his features lit up from laughter. “alright, bitch where we going?” he asked, “i mean where’s the car that’s supposedly going to sweep us away. are you driving? because i don’t have a license..” naveed’s voice managed to drift up towards the end, as there were many times presented to him to allow himself to get a license like the rest of the world but the thought never occurred to him. he hardly needed one. not in a world where drivers were a luxury and money was thrown around for even the simplest things.

tattoos on my mind | logan & naveed.

[ncveed]

✖ °✧  TEXT ❛ NAVEED ❜

cora: call me dramatic right now and i'll show you what real dramatic is

cora: because i know you well enough to know that theres not nothing there? you can deny those feelings all you want but i see it in the way you act and the way your eyes change the way they do when you lost & got back with aurora and honestly stop bullshitting yourself. i moved to vermont and i could only fly to you or you fly to me so many times? you know i wouldve dead ass dropped everything to move in with you guys to get away from my family and be with my real one, but i had to be with ivan! im sorry you got jealous, but i rarely every picked bentley over you and when i did it was because you didnt have the chance to even be there instead? and dont blame me for the fact that you caught feelings for him. he was your best friend and you should give him a chance, but dont let him walk over you again only to fuck you over in the end. do you remember who cleaned up the mess he caused? who was there while he ruined our family and your heart? remember who your real friends are before you ditch them for some asshole that fucked up in the first place and is just now trying to make up his marks

cora: will you stop bullshitting yourself for the love of fucking enoby dark'ness dementia raven way?? you can still have feelings for someone after they fucked you over. feelings dont just fucking disappear that fucking quick ESPECIALLY when you've fallen them hard enough to break & cry when they did you dirty. you think im mistaking it? are you fucking sure that youre just too afraid to own up to that shit? he left you and he didnt bother coming back, but here he is trying to come back and i know youre happy about it because youre running back so fucking fast. too bad y'all missed new years because damn! bet you wouldve loved to share that kiss

cora: fuck you for not listening to us when we're only trying to fucking protect you? sorry for fucking caring about you and being sketchy about lucifer coming back into your life? 18 years of friendship and im so fucking protective of you and god forbid i overlook some bitch ass thats trying to come back after fucking you way past over hell? me? a petty bitch? like i dont already fucking know that! you legit just reminded me of that bc thats why i act with bentley right? i'm just a petty bitch, but when i'm being a petty bitch with you, then it overrules right? 18 years has paid off SO well! youre right! nothing like 18 years of bullshit, right? isnt that how you feel right now? bet you wished you met logan first now dont you?

cora: no i cant just TELL someone! its not that fucking easy! i shouldnt have to tell her when thats the exact fucking reason why i fucking left and im so fucking angry! best friends should be able to read each other like open books, we shouldnt have to explain everything when its so fucking bluntly obvious if she even knew me! and clearly you dont fucking know me either if you dont understand why im so fucking upset about you picking logan over me!

cora: well fuck you too! why the fuck would i want to hang out with someone thats too fucking stubborn to own up to their own shit and bitch at friends when theyre calling them out on their bullshit!

naveed: lmao go ahead be dramatic cora.

naveed: how nice of you to bring up something so not relevant to why he's taking me to an amusement park. because we kissed at new years, every new years? thank you so much for being the best friend ever and bringing up the past. you know who's NOT? me? thank you so !! much for being observant, it's been noted cora!

naveed: honestly congrats for breaking my heart. i didn't get to go out with you for a day? a day and you can't give it up for someone else? forget he broke my heart, i know he broke my heart. the universe knows he broke my heart. i'm sorry that i'm not thinking with my dick but i'm thinking with my brain you think i'm letting the past get in the way then you have something else coming for you cora. you think i'm just going to drop everything i've ever said, every tear i've shed, watching those tears from my dad's face ?? you think i'm just going to forget that shit? you're funny, you really are by taking really nasty jabs at me like that. why can't you see this is one of those moments where i'm just trying to see if there's a chance worth giving him? why can't i have the slightest bit of hope that it could be repaired and i could have my best friend back why can't you just accept that?

naveed: why are you going at the way i looked at him and the way we kissed and shit why are you going to bring that up? i've never once brought nasty shit about you that'd make you upset about bentley. if anyone's doing more hurt than repair right now it's you

naveed: i'm sorry, i'm so fucking sorry that i can't spend that day with you but every OTHER god damn day is a cora and naveed day. i haven't gone anywhere!

naveed: no now i wish i met none of you so i wouldn't be having this stupid conversation anyway.

naveed: lmao people aren't people readers, we weren't built that way cora nice try though. i could know every inch of you, your favorite food, the way you pick up your food, the way your nose moves when you eat -- i hsve all of that down. i know when you're upset, i know what makes you happy but there are some things i won't ever understand. i don't understand why you're upset about this, okay? sue me but i don't see the big deal

naveed: i didn't do anything wrong.

[ncveed]

“ you’re on a fucking streak and i didn’t even realize until now ? how can i trust you anymore, i feel deceived. you’re such a prick, y’know that ? you have to read me my miranda rights or i can’t be held accountable for a thing i say right now. don’t say ‘ hop on it ‘ out loud, with me on the other side of the conversation. sounds like you got lucky, which could n e v e r happen. then again, people would never believe you anyway, so why am i even worried. i’m to say, actually, because i’ve never even smiled ‘ like four hundred ‘ times. maybe once or twice, but that’s all i’m admitting to. bitch, why haven’t i gotten my bracelet yet ? you’re holding out on me. “

i k n o w and it’s a great feeling to be acknowledged by one of my favorite friends. you know what you’re a fake for not realaizing the streak. but guess what? this prick managed to wiggle his way into your circle so like i’m still winning out here. has anyone told you that you’re a little dramatic? no? well good thing i’m here right? why not? it makes me sound hip cool and one with the teenagers.. i’m just kidding. listen, dick -- i am a saint and everyone believes you. you need to start listening .. maybe i made copies? when you’re famous you need some good pictures out there and i’m starting now. because bitch i’ll give it to you when i want to. 

[ncveed]

  “ I’m sorry Naveed, but pretty sure isn’t enough. “

but pretty sure is enough, i bet nasa thinks the same thing..

[ncveed]

❝ i don’t know, man. something about them ruining your shoes or some shit. to be honest, i wasn’t paying that much attention. you know, i get the jigsaw comparison. i can see it. actually, i get both of them. huh. what have you seen people on the ship doing to the ocean? and just enough of one to make you hate children, you mean.  ❞

it’s just ducks in general ruining my shoes, but it didn’t happen since  lied about it but i’m trying to figure out why i said ancestors. okay bro you weren’t supposed to agree.. you were supposed to say, no naveed you;re not all that confusing. i’ve seen people spit into the ocean, vomit and such. so there’s that.

[ncveed]

❝ i’m not sure how appealing ‘medium done grandparents’ sounds to me, but i’ll be on the lookout for these supposed elderly birds of paradise anyway. i think in the moment i just wanted to stop talking to him, but that probably would’ve been a better idea, honestly. education is always important. although, usually when i tell ignorant people how wrong they are they just get defensive and worse so…who knows ? ❞

okay not in a way that someone’s cooking these old people because that would be a problem in itself vera. okay meaning they’re like really nice to talk in a sense you won’t get pissed off and i bet one of them won’t comment about you in a vulgar way. you’re right, they always seem to want to think they’re right and it’s hard fighting with them -- they don’t want to take a step back and open up their mind or listen to someone.

[ncveed]

[ncveed]

“i’m used to mine that’s been doing my hair forever and i prefer that or doing it myself. i’m not about to be walking around with fucked up hair because someone don’t know what the hell they doing. not taking that chance. fuck if i know, dogs on ships doesn’t seem like that good of a combination to me. maybe i’ll adopt a new one sometime and end up going home with a surprise. you have a fat bunny? i’m gonna need proof. i’m not saying it could disappear… but if it did happen to… it wasn’t me.”

you don’t know how long you’re gonna be on the ship, my guess is a while so i think it’s time to start trusting people y’know? or find a stylist on this ship -- i bet there’s someone on here who’s willing to help you out and have your trust in them luna. but then again you’re right, who wants to walk around with fucked up hair after you put your trust in a shady person to begin with? why not? my friends have dogs on the ship, it’s great -- i love animals. a new friend, i need pictures if you ever decide to -- okay? wow.. i need to hide roger from yo. if you’re coming for roger, you’re gonna see me fight.

[ncveed]

“ right … so if it wasn’t aurora, did someone on the street give you candy ? or food ? i’m just considering all the possibilities like the good friend i am. tsk, tsk, don’t give me that ’god is watching’ bullshit, i know you have a daddy kink. okay but right ? kids are so annoying. save it for home life, little dudes. ”

why is e v e r y o n e assuming my own girlfriend would slip me something to make me act like this? it’s just who i am, you know? how hurtful. okay good friend. nah man, i don’t eat candy all that much -- let alone from strangers. define daddy kink.. god is watching! i know. scream in your room, you have no reason to c r y.

[ncveed]

&&.        “ ya’ sure ? ‘cause that’s not how people usually ask how someone’s day was. then again, i do like the unusual route. geese ? that was the chosen topic ? hmm. i still think pills were involved. do innocent kids play the sugar daddy to others ? i don’t think so nahweed. don’t try foolin’ me. shit. i guess i must’ve been conversin’ with your alter ego nahweed. her attitude’s always fuckin’ sour – the least she could do is lighten up. she N E V E R laughs at any of my pranks, i take full offense too. ‘cause aurora knows how to get it – fuck, are ya’ seriously t h a tnaive ? i know, it was a joke. way to ruin it. ”

see if you like the unusual route then you’re friends with the right person, also known as me -- so aren’t you happy you’re with a guy like me? i bet you are, don’t hide it. okay there were no pills involved in making the geese story. there are some wild kids out there running around trying to i m p r e s s others by being sugar dadd -- oh you’re talking about me. there’s no shame in wanting to be a sugar daddy, ‘cept it’s only to one person. i guess you were and it’s stead of if it being nahweed -- it was nahween. i mean sometimes i guess, to people .. outside of me. i really can’t agree all that much i see smiles and laughs. guess none of you are special. your pranks aren’t all that funny.. the only person that finds it funny is cora -- so.. it’s what i’m good at, love it or hate it.

[ncveed]

tattoos on my mind | logan & naveed.

milan was full of beauty peaking out at every corner, its cathedral like buildings stretching into the sky was art itself packed against each other around the city. milan was surreal in naveed’s eyes, as if the city itself was pulled out a children fairytale and brought to life. it was his favorite city to come and visit, from the days he spent it here with his families to night he spent with cora. cora, her name only rose the bile sitting in his stomach and left a sour taste in his mouth. she wanted to visit the city with him, wanting to continue their ever growing tradition but he only ended up fighting with her -- leaving him to explore the city alone. that was, expect for today. although, he wasn’t going to be in milan but he was going to take a venture out of milan -- it was all the same, he was exploring it somehow. naveed was held up in his room with the same dramatic since last night. truth is, his heart was racing -- his body ran on the nerves and the lack of sleep he got last night. he had excused himself from sleeping the night with aurora, which left his heart sinking further from before. perhaps, he would have been better off with her arms around him but he thought best to avoid questions about his tossing and turning that’d end up as an ongoing thing all night. one second he was lying on his stomach and the next was him sitting on his bed with no desire to move or feel anything; but now he was hesitating from walking from his room to the stairs leading out of the ship. he kept pacing back and forth outside of rooms on the ship -- one room in particular where he stopped to grab a few shots. perhaps he would have been better off with a small lunch with him. that way he’d find a way to run back to the ship. cora was right, he didn’t want to admit but she was right. there was no thought put in before he did anything, his feelings clouded nearly every judgement but a habit like that was a hard one to crack. naveed was stubborn; so stubborn that breaking free of hold habits was never a possibility for the young boy. he’d never admit to wanting to back out, he wasn’t going to back out just yet. his mind focused on the fact that was was visiting an amusement park. people were going to be around; they were a clearer option if he wanted to avoid making any contact with logan -- lucian. logan was a stranger, he didn’t know that half of his old friend. but no matter how many names, how many identities and fake stories -- logan, lenny, lucifer -- it was all him in the end with a desire to change to something he isn’t. naveed didn’t understand but there was a part of him wanting to ask what use his identities even had. that was a question saved for another day, a day where he’d care enough to bother asking.  lucian, though, wasn’t so much of a stranger. he passed a few friendly faces on his way out, hazel eyes capturing the horizon of the city packed against one another along the water canal.  lucian’s past with naveed was something he so desperately shoved into a metal box in his mind. seeing the brunette on the ship left dents in the box as every memory itched for a way to climb out -- one in particular. till this day, he could feel the others fingers lingered against his spine, the way his mouth felt against his in desperation to feel the other closer. "shut up.” he told himself through clenched teeth. he had no desire to think much of it, thinking meant diving into a part of him that cared. “bradford, where the fuck are you.” he called out as he walked in circles. he took it upon himself to admire some of the city lying before the ship.

[ncveed]

✖ °✧  TEXT ❛ NAVEED ❜

cora: no its not just milan anymore

cora: people are right when they say old feelings never die because thats exactly whats happening. you wont be pushing him off the ferris wheel because you'll be too busy looking in his eyes tryna catch a moment with him. you can forgive someone and give them a chance without giving them the full ride there. or does that not matter when it involves lucian?

cora: you say he can go fuck himself but im sure youd rather be the one there instead. again? hmm, interesting. you say youre over him but i saw the way your eyes dulled down when his name was mentioned or your relationship with another was talked about. dont act like i didnt fucking see it because i did. ive known you long enough to tell your giveaways

cora: damn straight i sounds like zainab bc i wouldnt want to sound like you right now? her & your other sisters are the only ones that see wahts going on bc youre too fucking blind from the potential reunion. should i even say potential? bc im sure hes already back

cora: youre right! no one fucking knows so dont act like you have the slightest clue as to why im so fucking bitter with her! i shouldnt have to fucking tell bentley! she should already fucking know and if she doesnt then fuck that shit i dont need a fucking friend in my life that continuingly hurts me w/o realizing it

cora: you say its one day, but one day becomes every day and its like? lmao? just say it straight up? im not saying you have to spend the entire trip with me, its legit just one day and you can spend it however way you want. i dont care? but its legit just one day and it hasnt been just us in forever? i just miss my best friend but if you have better people to be with then by all means go for it

naveed: now you're just being dramatic.

naveed: you know i would like to think you knew more and that you know me better than letting my feelings interrupt my thoughts. you know that there's nothing there so why are you pushing for something to be there? why are you bringing up the past? because if you wanna bring up the past, let's fucking bring up the past. so fucking SUE me for wanting to see what he has in store, did i ever once bother you when it was you and bentley? bentley and cora this, me and bentley did this, we went here, fuck yes i got jealous about every fucking picture you sent of her and yourself doing things we shoulda been doing. i was devastated when you moved away, because if you didn't move than i don't think me and him would have been as close. i don't think i would have fallen for him but guess what? life did happen ,it happened okay? he was there, he's my /best/ friend. wait no, was best friend and he's trying and i shouldn't do something about it? for the love of god, he calls himself logan barrel -- you think his dad would give a slight fuck to do that to? his dad can rot in hell for all i care.

naveed: you know what? fuck you, fuck you for even thinking i'd fuck him at any given chance just because we're going to a fucking amusement park. fuck you cora, i did not suffer for those years to throw in the towel like that. okay so what? maybe you're mistaking that for something else. hearing his name hurts, yes because he /left/ me and didn't bother coming back.

naveed: fuck you and my sisters for not trusting me enough. nearly 18 years of friendship and you want to have little faith in me all of a sudden because of a shady boy? lmao are you really just going to second guess your own best friend like that? you're going to take jabs at me like a petty bitch and break my heart like that? you're going to bring up my past feelings like that? i see 18 years has paid off well!!

naveed: if you just TELL someone cora it'll be okay! you can't expect her to know, that's not okay?

naveed: you know what, fuck that i don't wanna hang out with someone who just wants to take the lowest blows at me. fucking enjoy yourself in milan. i'm done.

[ncveed]

❛ ✻ – currently playing

track 432 out of 2,314

[ncveed]

✖ °✧  TEXT ❛ NAVEED ❜

cora: DNG is not ugly?? YOURE ugly? idk we can go to more runway shows but youre ditching milan aka hte fashion world for an amusement park so??

cora: im not saying that but you can make him work a lil harder? dont be the one to let in first? what deeper meaning is there? what? your past feelings for him? are you really gonna let that cloud your judgment? his father fucked over your family?

cora: dont act like you havent been petty with him like ive been petty with bentley bc we're both fucking petty when it comes to ex friends lmao dont come for me w that shit when u do the same damn thing

cora: you say you havent forgiven him but you legit just picked him over your best friend? or did he get that title back already?

cora: bentley doesnt deserve my forgivness bc she doesnt even fucking know what she did wrong yet. she knows damn well what she did, but her bitch ass refuses to fucking acknowledge it. nobody knows why because i dont want to tell anyone

cora: i wonder what the future holds but im not gonna sit around & think about it thats such a waste of my time

cora: im not being a bitter bitch im a mad fucking bitch because you literally wanna have a raincheck for a boy thst fucked overy our entire family and gave your father fucking trust issues bc of that shit? didn't they fucking embarrass them too?

naveed: IT'S JUST MILAN!

naveed: i'm not throwing in the towel! it's just harmless hanging out at an amusement park where's the harm in that? how do YOU know i'm not planning to push him off the ferris wheel, exactly. you don't. allowing someone to prove themselves doesn't mean im forgiving them. it means im giving them a chance.

naveed: there are no past feelings for him okay, that ship sailed he can go fuck himself. don't think just because there were a few kisses here and there i'm suddenly ready to suck his dick again.

naveed: okay i'm aware his family fucked mine over, i'm not giving my hand in marriage so like can you chill, you're starting to sound like zainab. and yeah you're right, why do you think we're friends hm.

naveed: exactly! you're not willing to tell her, or anyone so what the fuck? what if she doesn't know? you're just gonna sit on your ass and be bitter forever?

naveed: cora for the love of god, there's time for you for another day and another time. it's one day, one. plus, i kind of want to spend milan with aurora too and we have the ship and i can visit you during work, milan isn't the end of it all just chill.

[ncveed]

*✧ text || don't fuck it up

logan: don't get grumpy on me sleepy head

naveed: bitch

naveed: :)

naveed: tell me a story