necrospitz

[necrospitz]

Let me find comfort in the cracks of your skin, in the space between ribs, in the gaps of your teeth. Let me sneak slow and deep past the walls of your chest, find versions of me you hold tightest. Let me dive, let me hide in the whites of your eyes, let me see what you see, let me follow your guidance. My comfort lives in your veins. It’s in your lungs and the palms of your hands. Let me find it. Let me hold it. Then let me gather up the strength to give it back to you.

[necrospitz]

Your body speaks volumes

You have consumed me

Dark pools around your eyes and cotton around your heart to try and stop the bleeding I was pulled into your gravity just as a bee is pulled into a morning tulip

Instinct.

And it’s sweet. It is sweeter than honeycombs and fresh blood right after rough sex and I can still taste you running down my lips

You put me down in the backyard.

Bullet through my head and rewired me.

There is no church that would not consider me a sinner if they saw the way I looked at you like a hungry dog begging for its last meal

Beneath the cotton, your crimson soaked body told me everything I needed to know. Your bones rattled and whispered telling me the stories my ears couldn’t hear over the sounds of me worshipping you

//But the hurt in your heart does not give me the pleasure your body does// Let me heal you, let me be your god

[necrospitz]

The Devil in Me

I will continue to walk and drag my soul through the mud, all while the sky decides to open up and drown the crimson body of my ego until I am nothing but waterlogged memories of screams that never made it where they needed to go.

You were warm milk and freshly picked lavender buds. the taste of you on my tongue lingered long enough to tell me how you were doing but I washed you down with whiskey and the false hope that maybe I was not the one who brewed you into my favorite tea just to leave you on the counter to turn sour.

I will continue to walk until my feet blister and bleed, until the body I drag behind me is nothing but bones still telling me that I can regrow my own skin and finally learn to heal.

In my own head,though, she still looks like me.

//bury her in the back yard next to the bottle//

Muck