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Exactly. 

And yes, I prefer to offer things in a mutually beneficial manner, if the other party is courteous and willing to ‘play ball’ then I’m more then happy to work with their needs as much as my own. 

Though... if I am being honest, sometimes it’s a little more fun to work over the people who seem to think they’re going to pull a fast one on you and come out on top. 

Ah, that’s good. Having people breathing down your neck is the worst! 

And, right? It’s not a good long-term strategy, and one certainly not without risk even in the short-term, depending on who’s involved. Your associate has been quite cordial and straightforward about this, and that helps tremendously as well, I believe. I take it you’re much the same in that sense?

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Rather well these days, plenty of new business, meeting new people. My superiors are happy, which means they aren’t pulling my leash too often, so I can enjoy a decent amount of ‘personal time’ as it were.

Also, I must say, it’s refreshing to talk to someone who it seems truly understands the sort of ‘give and take’ nature of business as well, once people learn you’re a greed demon they suddenly start assuming all you want to do is give them a raw deal, and honestly, that’s just a terrible way to do business.

Don’t worry about it. Hell knows I’ve been busy myself, both with said arrangements and other matters.

Glad to see another businessperson around! How goes things?

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Ah, my apologies! I’ve been rather- ah, busy, lately and completely missed this.

It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Luna. I see you and a certain business partner of mine have been making some rather impressive arrangements.

need-before-greed Speaking of this website’s shortcomings, I was going through my followers list and noticed you were on there even though my notifications never showed that being a thing.

So hello there! Name’s Luna. Thanks for following back, Mr. Balton.

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Mm, I understand, most of us demons that remain rather firmly tethered to the Pit have quite a few restrictions placed on us as well. 

And yes, exactly. Which is why I’m a bit confused at the rather hostile tone some of your co-workers seem to have with me. We’re all on the same team. It wouldn’t be in my best interest to ‘scam’ any of you.

As for my work in my particular Circle, it really is rather tedious at times. People seem to make a great deal of drama over signing away your soul for something, but really, In the long run? It just amounts to another bit of paperwork that needs to be taken care of, and when you need something hoarded and protected with a great deal of hellish fury, there’s no one better then a Greed demon.

I have a job, and that is really all I require for the time being. I can not accept material items unless it is offered to me, that is the general rule, which also applies to places to live and things that I am allowed to eat.

I have a personal mission that needs fulfilled, but it will fall under my own business that does not concern my employment, other then a proof of my worth as a guard.

But I believe I understand. I will not act as if I am privy to the workings of demon law and culture, but I do understand hierarchy scale. Having more then one figure to ensure that things are operational is typically sound.

You are a demon based in Greed? I have not come across many demons over the years, aside from Rot a few years ago.

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While I do enjoy a challenge, I’m not so arrogant as to over-step my boundries where other ‘celestial beings’ are concerned.

I would be interested to see what other more ‘material’ needs you might have, and what sorts of deals we could strike for them.

But that’s a topic for another time, and you are more interested in what else I do here. Hopefully my answers will be of benefit to the others in the cult as well.

The exact details I will be a bit vague about, as that’s what we might consider ‘trade secrets’, but my general role as far as our shared enterprise is concerned, is that I will help manage Lord Rot’s contracts, ensuring that anyone who wishes to enter into his service is documented properly, and discreetly. You see, certain unnamed parties down below might not take too kindly to seeing a demon such as Him gathering so much power in one place, it tends to make them upset, or jealous, whatever you want to call it really. 

My job is to make sure the ‘paperwork’ is in order, kept in a very secure location, and Lord Rot can let his power base grow uninterrupted. 

It is also my business to ensure that things don’t... shall we say ‘derail’ themselves again. No more flaky High Priests, or Priestesses as it stands, go running off, leaving him weakened. Of course, my end of the bargain is simple too.

He gets the right to their souls, and I get to ‘feed my greed’...

While of course getting just a hint of power for myself as well.

Any other business is mostly for my own personal benefit, really. I am a demon and I do have my own quotas to fill. Basic demonic business practices.

I have been reading your posts back and fourth between the other members.

I am not a member in the traditional sense, as are the others- or so I would assume, that is not my business. My soul is under the claim of my God, Anubis, and as such I was not able to offer it as it is not mine to offer.

There is only one think that I desire, and I am afraid it is something that you would not be able to give me as again, it falls under others jurisdiction.

However I am interested in how your role is played. I would be very much so inclined to listen to a furthered explanation of how this is played.

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It’s just going to be one of those days.

Isn’t it.

YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT I GOT A DEMONIC LAWYER WHO CAN’T EVEN FIGURE HOW TO SUE PEOPLE FOR MEMEIN’ ON ME THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. I’M DISAPPOINTED 

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Fleece people?

No, no, no, you misunderstand me. You see. The moment you shook on it? The moment you both made your own little deal?

That paperwork? That’s mine now. So. In a way.

I already own a little piece of you.

See, that was MY deal with your boss.

So. If there’s anything I can help you with. Please.

Don’t hesitate to ask.

I already shook with him. It should be settled. 

Listen, I know that you need souls to live or something. You need to fleece people to keep yourself from turning to dust. This child of Eve here is nobody’s fool. 

All that I want is a place for me and my bebes to live. 

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I am glad you asked. I specialize mainly in mergers, acquisitions, and of course, employment contracts. In fact, I prefer the latter. 

Which reminds me, we should really sit down sometime and go over the necessary paperwork for you, if you plan to join up with his lordship, Detritus, and see just what all we can get for you out of the deal.

After all, everyone wants something.

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I met a lawyer once that would sue someone for you if they sold you a haunted house without your knowledge

what’s YOUR specialty

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Well, that depends on whether or not said ‘Internet Hate’ is litigious in nature. Say, if someone were slandering you out right, or writing out something libel.

Not if they were, say, posting insulting comments, or hilarious gifs and/or memes that allude to you being perhaps a less then exemplary specimen of demon then you undoubtedly are.

And also, to golden-war-hound and bishopvenerator I would be both happy to come by and visit in person, as well as assuage any fears that being a proper legal professional might bring. 

And perhaps, Rakireth, since I can read your posts as well, I will be... disinclined to bring you any gifts when I do.

EYYYYY LOOK

BUREAUCRATTICUS MADE HIMSELF A BLOG IF YOU’RE MY LAWYER, YOU CAN SUE PEOPLE WHO SEND ME “INTERNET HATE,” RIGHT?

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You know, I’ve been keeping to myself a bit too much, I think. Perhaps I should speak up a bit and introduce myself to the new hires.

Hello, my name is Carl Balton or ‘ Bureaucratticus’ as your current employer has taken to calling me. I am head of the “Human Resources” branch of the Cult of the Mouth. It’s a pleasure to meet you, and if you need absolutely anything. Do not hesitate to ask.