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Bibliography
http://www.dazeddigital.com/fashion/article/28367/1/why-this-photographer-documented-his-own-death-on-instagram]
https://www.instagram.com/sevenheads/?hl=en
http://forums.thefashionspot.com/f71/jonathan-waiter-photographer-185997.html
https://brokenlightcollective.com/2017/07/28/i-still-exist/
https://letthedogsbark.wordpress.com/
https://brokenlightcollective.com/2015/04/19/metamorphosis/
http://www.patricialaydorsey.com/Artist.asp?ArtistID=22987&Akey=Q7HKRV3H
http://www.ffotogallery.org/falling-place
http://www.visuramagazine.com/patricia-lay-dorsey-falling-into-place
http://www.refinery29.uk/depression-photo-series-christian-hopkins
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3168234/Depicting-depression-Photographer-22-documents-daily-battle-inner-demons-haunting-thought-provoking-picture-series.html
https://petapixel.com/2013/04/15/photographer-creates-emotive-images-to-help-cope-with-depression/
http://metro.co.uk/2017/07/06/photographer-nancy-borowick-captures-the-final-years-of-her-parents-lives-the-family-imprint-6759970/
http://www.nancyborowick.com/cancer-family/the-family-imprint/
http://www.cancerfamilyongoing.com/
https://petapixel.com/2017/01/28/photo-essay-road-recovery-traumatic-brain-injury/
http://www.traumaticbraininjury.net/photographer-tells-his-story-of-tbi-recovery-through-pictures/
http://www.martazgierska.com/index.php?/works/post/
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Marta+Zgierska-+Post&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj076LHwNvVAhWIDxoKHe8_AeEQsAQIMw&biw=1920&bih=974
https://vimeo.com/196453634
http://fotoroom.co/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2016/04/post-marta-zgierska-10.jpg
http://kenhermann.dk/portfolio/survivors/
https://www.creativereview.co.uk/exposure-photographer-ken-hermann/
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Statement
In this project I have looked at how people document and overcome a tragic accident or illness they are dealing with. For this module I felt that video piece would best represent my work, In my video I have snapshots of my time in hospital and the journey I have been on to recover from the accident I am documenting. For this assignment I would need a camera, tripod, studio space, chair and lighting equipment to set the mood.
During this module I videoed myself a number of times to get the best possible outcome and to create a strong piece of work. I realised that the first time I recorded my video I was going to need to do this a few times as I missed out a few of the main point of how I was feeling because of memories being brought back of the accident and being upset. Looking at other photographers and bloggers of how they have told a story has really helped me create this piece of work. With special effects and use of other media types in the video makes it more engaging and instead of just being a video of me talking it now includes background music which adds impact and photographs from before and after the accident. I also includes two videos of when I came of the horse and broke multiple bones and ribs. Also a video at the end showing me back to normal and bac to a normal routine. I is important to end on a positive note as my video is to encourage people and influence them to accept and document their accident not make viewers upset and cause pain.
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Target Audience
My target audience is for people that suffer with accepting an illness or a traumatic event/accident in their life. I want my work to influence others to open up and talk about their problems and have closure. It is okay to have bad days and feel vulnerable, If more people opened up we would have less problems and could help people over come a problem. I aim my work at 14-70 year olds as I don't think any younger people would understand and might also upset them.
I am a strong person and people know me for it, they do not see a side to me that is ever vulnerable. This video I am letting my guard down and opening up about how I really felt, a video that might shock some of my family as I was not open about when I had bad days in hospital and felt really down.
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100 word for Exhibition
I am Rebecca Hollingsworth and this is my recovery story where I have created a video piece where I am talking about my traumatic accident when I fell of a horse and had multiple injuries. I document my journey through snapshots and talk about how I felt and talk about the flashbacks and emotion I went though. I talk about how I get better and accept what has happened, my reason for the video is to influence others to express how they feel after a traumatic accident or illness that could be affecting them. I feel that because of creating this video piece I have closure and find that expressing myself through photographs and through videos helps me tell the story though my eyes.
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Overall
Overall, I really enjoyed creating this project as it was very rewarding and closure to my accident. Not only will my work help and influence others but has also inspired me to create more video pieces. To document an go further with my accident and my road to recovery. I could really go in to detail and keep this as an on going project, I would create a you tube channel and document my research and go into detail as I have only created a video that is only 14 minutes. Keeping in mind that I filmed myself 8-10 times and the videos were a minimum of minutes long.
There was so much I could have spoke about and talk about the treatment I had when I was on crutches or in a wheel chair, of strangers, people in restaurants, my friends and how even family members treated me different. I would talk about how my family felt and the struggles and emotional trauma they went through.
Overall, I am pleased with my final outcome I feel that what i have talked about has been engaging and very natural which is how I wanted the video to me. When thinking about how I was going to approach the subject and how I was going to talk about it I spoke with a lecturer and he persuaded me to look into having two camera set up and one being set on my face and the other zoomed in being able to see when I got upset. However, the way I wanted my work to be shown was that I would be sat in front of a camera on a tripod and that I was creating the work on my own and I feel that my work didn't need a second camera as you could see the emotion and how I felt perfectly with just one. I also didn’ t any movement and just the flow of transitions and photographs to be shown in the video as well as two video pieces. One of the recording of the accident and the other of me getting back on and getting back to normal routine.
My work is strong and engaging and something people will be able to relate to, either being someone who has been personally involved with a traumatic experience or if they have watched someone go through it,
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My Final Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g91ZnhdjZyw
This is my final piece that I have created for Negotiated major project, Looking at my other assignments I felt that one of my strongest projects was a video piece and vest represented my work. This was because it was personal to me and came across well to the audience. They can relate to how I am feeling and engage with what I have created.
When thinking about how I would exhibit and best represent my work I didn't feel that pictures would portray why I wanted to create this work. Because of snapshots and documenting my accident though phone pictures the quality of the photographs weren't the best and only a few of the photographs shown in the video have been taken on a camera.
This was because I didn't know I was going to create a piece of work about my accident but because of the timing and what I started looking at for ARS I started to find work where peoples life routines had been affected by an accident or an illness. I started researching bloggers and other photographers looking at work where photographers had created work around an accident or an illness. I found many photographers in my research that would video themselves talking about an accident or an illness I found this really powerful and have gone in to a great research of each photographer who has done this and if they have used themselves or another model.
However, when viewing other photographers work I realised that I didn't want to just set up a space and talk about the accident I wanted people to know what had happened and what I was like as a person before it happened. I wanted to include photographs and other media pieces so that viewers could really engaged relate to what I was trying to portray in my video. Which lead to me creating a video piece where I contained actual footage of my accident however, only showed a couple of seconds as I felt that if it had been on any longer people wouldn't have wanted t watch it as they might have thought it was going to be a video of just upset which wasn't my intentions.
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Permission
For my assignment we are to create a piece of work that we are to exhibit in an allocated space. Because I am creating a video piece, this means that I would have to think about what screen monitor and the size I would show my video on. As it is a sensitive subject I feel that showing it on a bigger monitor would not work well as could upset viewers and because I wanted people to have earphones when listening to the video. People that could only see not hear it might find the videos and photographs quite upsetting if they do not know what the video is about.
This would mean I would have to get permission from the technician and be able to hire one of the monitors out to set my work up on. I could supply the earphones however, bringing in a monitor of my own would be to hard and not practical. Because I use trains to get into university this would revolve in many trips to hand in monitors, tables and chairs so instead I would ask the technician if I could have permission for using a monitor, table and chair where I would set up an area of which I could set up for viewers to listen and watch the video.
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Ken Hermann Photography
Ken Hermann is a photographer based in Copenhagen who explores photography and travels to different places to explore people and their culture. Which lead to his series of work called Survivors, where he photographed victims in Bangladesh who have suffered acid attacks. Most acid attacks are against women and children. Doing his research he has looked at why these attacks happen and why they are aimed at more women than men. These attacks are motivated by "infidelity, rejection of marriage offers, demands for dowry, and disputes over land". He says that his series of work is a story about people not victims.
Each of his portrait tells a story and captures how and what each person has been through. I can relate to this work as putting myself being the camera and revealing scars isn’t easy to do and put into a position to show scars or discuss a tragic event that has left you with not only physical scars but emotional scars. With each oh his photographs he writes down what they are called, their age, occupation, the date of the attack, the reason and who did the damage and the legal condition of the case.
I find Hermann’s work fascinating and powerful, not only strong portraits of these people but his photographs tells a story. Looking at how they have been photographed and looking at their body language. I think this people are very brave for letting Hermann take these photographs and as questions about what as happened to them. Linking into my work I am the one who is photographing my scars and recording myself which I feel is a brave and a way to reflect on my accident and how I have recovered. I feel that Hermann’s work would have helped these people to have closure of their acid attacks but also be proud of themselves and how them scars do not effect them as people anymore and they are being strong.
http://kenhermann.dk/portfolio/survivors/
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Marta Zgierska- Post
Polish photographer Marta Zgierska discusses her series of work ‘post’ the impact of traumatic events influenced by being in a major car accident. Post is a personal project based on her own life and documenting the fear and trauma of what went on in her head. Also explains in an interview that it describes ‘that everything is hidden under an appearance of perfection.
Marta Zgierska was in a serious car accident and was close to death. This accident not only put her life on hold but challenged her mentally and physically it put her life on hold, her mind was filled with tragic memories which lead her to call her work post. "Trauma, silence and tension."
http://fotoroom.co/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2016/04/post-marta-zgierska-10.jpg
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Trevor Gavin’s Story
Trevor Gavin is a photographer who has decided to write about a dark time in his life and has also in eluded pictures as a step to accept and move on from this dark time.
He documents his recovery when falling off his skateboard in San Fransisco and waking up in hospital with a shaved head and no memory of what happened. He wasn't wearing a helmet as he says in his essay ‘No i wasn't wearing a helmet, lesson learned’. He documents his life in hospital and what he was experiencing and what he could see at the time. His time in hospital was a blur and he can't remember much apart from key points of the people who visited and his pills and the discomfort which he was in.
He talks about how he accepted his accident and activities which helped him start to feel better and allow hisself to heal. He wanted to photograph his journey and help him focus on what was really important. Which he says was his daughter being the main focus. Creativity allowed his mind to work again and by taking short walks and photographing mountains and being in the outdoors also was a great way to get fit and get himself strong again.
He explains how this accident has made him see the light and what he should prioritise and how lucky he is to have such a supportive wife, family and friends he has. Finishing of with a portrait of himself, in black and white signifying that even though the accident was a traumatic and dark time he is coming out the other end and i starting to feel himself again.
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Emotional and psychological trauma?
Emotional and Phychological trauma can be caused by an accident, injury, attack, battling an illness, surgery, something that happened in your childhood, unprepared. Going through psychological trauma can leave emotions high and where you don't feel like you are in control. Flashbacks can cause anxiety and make you feel disconnected to people.
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Video
For this idea to work i felt that the best way for it to across would to create a video of myself talking about the accident and the impact it has on my life.
I would talk about how busy my life before was and what I would do on a day to day basis, and then when the accident happened and how it affected everything. I would talk about in my video going to the hospital and what i would remember. Because of the morphine and all the tablets i was on, many memories are a blur to me.
I would talk about seeing faces but not remembering conversations, what it felt like staring at 4 walls and what felt like forever was only a week.
Coming out of hospital and being outside for the first time, coming home and needed 24/7 help and assistance with everything. Normal day to day life I needed someone there and helping me.
Going out for the first time in the chair, peoples reactions and because of my leg not being bandaged up people stared because they didn't know what was wrong with you. What it was like seeing the horses and wanting to go to the farm in my chair just to spend time with them.
Taking the bandages off and seeing what my scars looked like, flashbacks and pain. my confidence was that these scars wouldn't disappear over night.
When i started getting better i was able to get around on crutches it wasn't tiring me out the same, Starting to get a bit more mobile.
The stress of not working and my university assignments knowing i wasn't going to graduate at the same time as my friends.
Going to Twickenham in the chair and how people responded to me, the next day I was able to potter around without my crutches.
Physio and how the excersises were hard but started to get easier, more and more bak to being the busy person.
Getting back on the horse, getting emotional after 3 months i was finally starting to feel like myself again.
The person who i am today because of the accident, how to not take things for granted and that what you feel like is the end of the world isn't it. How lucky I was and the wake up call I needed.
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Self Evaluation
When deciding to create this piece of work I knew that it was gong to be hard for me to do so however, I felt that the reason why I wanted to create the video and tell my story would be a strong message to give out and would create a really engaging piece of work. I knew that this would also help me with my recovery which made me take the leap, I wanted to create a piece work that was personal to me so when the accident happened and weeks later I looked at the photographers and people that had documented themselves in hospital or talking about an illness. Reading through comments it encouraged other people that life goes on and you should do whatever makes you happy. I wanted my video to inspire other photographers that are struggling overcoming an accident or an illness and document it though what they feel best represents them. I felt that the best way I could talk about my accident would for it to be filmed in the studio with low lighting and so that the attention was just on me. Then using snapshots of my journey though photographs on my phone and the journey I had in hospital.
I felt that the video was a really engaging piece and that it might cause some upset to others but a happy ending that I am fully recovered and even though it was traumatic accident I overcome it and I m bac to my normal routine and I have accepted what has happened to me and how I has made me realise how much we take for granted and what I want out of life.
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First recording
My first recording didn't go as well as I thought it would go, I was expecting to film myself for around 15mins and be able to talk about my accident no problem. It wasn't until I actually set up the studio and sorted out the lighting where I started t think about what I was going to talk about. When the camera was rolling there were moments where I got quite upset, and because I hadn't prepared myself on what to say and thought I was gong to be able to talk about it without any preparation.
After 10 minutes I stopped the recording as I was to upset to talk about it, after an hour I recorded again after I had thought about how I was going to talk about it and what topics were most important to me. This recording went a lot better because I realised it was something I needed to think about and collect myself. I didn't realise it was going to upset me or bring back flash backs.
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Mounting and text
I thought about how I was going to show my video and have decided it would be best to have a monitor on a table with headphones and have chairs so people can sit down and watch the video. I don't feel that if it was to go on the wall or to be on a big screen the audience wouldn't engage with video the same way that they would if it was on a smaller screen with headphones.
As a photographer who has also used herself to create a project I wouldn't want it on a screen being over played as it would be upsetting not just for me but other people hearing about the same thing over and over. I feel that my video is a strong piece of work and an important subject to talk about as well as others might be able to relate to my accident. I don't want it to upset them but inspire to them to write about it or to accept their accident I felt that the best way to show what I was going through and my recovery was best shown through photographs and a video explain it all.
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Exhibiting
For my assignment I am to exhibit my work as if I would in a gallery, instead we are exhibiting it in a room at the university this means we are to transform the room and we each get a space of where our work would go. I would have my work on a small monitor on a table with a pair of head phones to listen to the video. I would also have a note next to the work that warned people of what they was going to watch. This is because some viewers might find this upsetting.
I thought about playing it on a bigger screen however because of the content and the images of scaring other viewers might not want to see my work and if seeing the video over and over again might be upsetting. Also, as it is personal to me I feel that it would be better on a smaller screen as then there will be limited people being able to see it at a time. They would be able to blank everything out and just watch and listen to the video.
I would also have a statement on the wall explain what my video is about to warn people what they could in the video. My video is aimed at photographers and people that have had a traumatic accident and that can relate to what has happened and how hard it is to overcome something like this. To encourage people to talk about their traumatic accident will also make them feel better and accepting what has happened will help them overcome it.
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