neontrickery

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Chess If It Was Good

I've had this idea bouncing around in my skull like an intrusive thought for about a year now and i finally got around to materializing it ^^

if it wasn't obvious already, i have no idea how chess works NOR am i interested!!!

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In honor of recent events, which i have yet to be allowed to participate in (although i yearn so deeply): mario kart wii bowuigi

for all of you MARIO KART WII NERDS out there, there is a non-canon detail in this image. can you spot it?

hint: the answer is not bowuigi

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Drawing and Reviewing a Random Pokemon #7: Electivire

Electivire --- Rating: 8/10

While it is a fact that 99% of all pokemon ever to exist would be able to easily kick my ass and eat me for dinner if they so chose, there are a handful that I find more intimidating, and dare I say scarier, than the average pocket monster. Electivire is one of these scary pokemon.

I think it has something to do with his battle in Pokepark 1. He was just so big compared to a Pikachu, and your best attack didn't really do shit to him bc you're both electric types. It was very difficult for young me to overcome his ruthless onslaught of repeatedly murdering me.

Overall, he just seems like someone you definitely wouldn't want to mess with. Lest you get thunder punched and all. It would be cute if he was just a misunderstood gentle giant though.

He may scare me, but he's also very cool. Another win for Gen 4!

I have a shiny one in Legends Arceus named Male2Male because of the forbidden murder cord and also the fact that he's a homosexual. Below is the only known screenshot of him (no I don't remember why I was bullying him)

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Drawing and Reviewing a Random Pokemon #6: Rattata

Rattata --- Rating: 6/10

Rattata, the original early route rodent, is simultaneously both unremarkable and iconic as a pokemon design. Many have caught it, but how many of them boxed it before the mid-game, or used it only for HMs?

The most famous Rattata, Joey's Rattata, is in the top percentile of Rattatas. His name is Rattata, and he is level 3. Consider what this says about Rattata.

Rattata invented the F.E.A.R. strategy in 2006 when she killed a Mewtwo immediately after being born. What does this say about Rattata?

Here is something that may surprise you: the Venonat Sitting Cuties plush has more than twice the reviews on the Pokemon Center website than Rattata (18 vs 6 respectively, as of writing this). Now, I love Venonat, but doesn't that feel wrong?

In truth, my opinion on Rattata isn't very radical. As a kid, I pronounced it rat-a-tat-a. (I still say it that way sometimes since it's way more fun than rat-a-ta.) I considered it a boring pokemon. Even though I'd often take Pidgeot and Ariados all the way up to the Elite 4 in HGSS, I would never touch Rattata. However, my opinion has softened over time. I wouldn't say I love Rattata in any significant capacity, and I still have never used him on any playthrough team, but I do like him quite a bit. His design is simple but recognizable and iconic. I would be pleasantly surprised to see merch of him out in the wild. If I had a plush Rattata I would treat it kindly. That's it.

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pokemon yuri („❛ ᴗ ❛„) if they have a ship name i don't know what it is

I had fun trying out a new procreate brush (hopefully it doesn't look obnoxious)

i prefer the uncolored version tbh but I didn't spend time on the colorful version just to trash it........

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Drawing and Reviewing a Random Pokemon #5: Palafin (Hero Form)

Palafin (Hero Form) --- Rating: 1/10

I'm not going to pull my punches. I hate this guy. I hate what he stands for. I hate his sausage finger water gloves, I hate his dolphin-man breasts, I hate his scary water eye mask thing. He does not scream heroic to me, he just screams. He looks terrifying. I do not trust him.

Most of all, I hate the way he evolves... I refuse to pay for Nintendo Online just for one game, and I have no friends that also like Pokémon, and I only own one copy of the game and one switch (like Arceus intended), so what am I supposed to do?? Lonely broke people don't deserve Palafin, Nintendo?? I just used Home's shitty GTS (had to sacrifice my Gholdengo since I didn't have a Pharaoh Trim Frou Frou) and transferred it to complete my dex. But I was not happy about it

The ONE redeeming factor that saves it from a score of 0 is that it's a dolphin. Even then, I'm being generous here because it's completely squandering its dolphin potential. We may never get another dolphin Pokémon again and this is what we're stuck with. All Might Dolphin Boobs.

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i call him Yuzu

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Drawing and Reviewing a Random Pokemon #4: Hoppip

Hoppip --- Rating: 7/10

It's surprising I've been getting mostly cute small mons from the random poke generator (minus stonehenge over there) cuz I expected to get one that's a complete pain to draw by now. Like Guzzlord or Inteleon or somthin. But these small mons definitely have an overall advantage in my rating system. I'm the type of person to give my boys everstones to keep them tiny forever. Like an evil witch.

Hoppip is pretty cute. I always lowkey liked it. My favorite out of the line is, weirdly, Skiploom. But Hoppip definitely has the best colors and most ~marketable~ design. I think it would make a great plush or plant pot. The card game art of Hoppip always feel especially serene, like if only I were in that field, or dare I say that meadow, with those silly Hoppip, all would be right with the world.

However, when it comes to gameplay, there are some problems...

Partially for experience distribution reasons and partially based on my arbitrary whims, I don't like catching multiple pokemon on the same route. I like having 1 "baby" of the party to raise up, then once their level is the same as everyone else's or they can carry their own weight without switch training, I can catch something new. But I don't like having multiple babies at once because I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility. Unfortunately for Hoppip, Mareep/Ampharos are some of my all-time favorite pokemon, so almost every playthough of HeartGold I've ever done, I've caught Mareep on the route south of Violet City. Which just so happens to also be where Hoppip lives. It doesn't help that Mareep is great for the first and second gyms and gets Thundershock pretty early (and Hoppip starts with SPLASH), while grass types have infamously bad matchups for most of Johto.

Overall, I enjoy such a creachure as this. Just not enough to ever use it instead of Mareep or Chikorita. Sorry, Hoppip. You deserve better.

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my bouy has mold

they hate him for his swag and blank stare

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I love my three talented children

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Drawing and Reviewing a Random Pokémon #3: Shedinja

Shedinja -- 7/10

I always thought Shedinja's gimmick was soooo cool. The way it evolves is super unique and also kind of creepy, especially if you didn't know about it. Its ability is lots of fun to play with and strategize around. It is literally a husk of its former self and I've never cared a fraction of the amount for Ninjask that I do for Shedinja. I also didn't have any Hoenn games as a kid until Alpha Sapphire, so not only was it a unique mon, but it was rare too.

So anyway I think Shedinja would be a shy fellow and enjoy the company of toys and dolls. And possibly balancing them on their halo and spinning it around and showing them off to people.

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Drawing and Reviewing a Random Pokémon #2: Stonjourner

Stonjourner -- Rating: 5/10

Stonjourner, to put it bluntly, is the definition of a nothingburger pokemon to me. I always forget it exists until I see it in game, to which I react with "oh, right. this is a pokemon... why is it a version exclusive again?"

Looking at it, there's nothing wrong with its design. It's not ugly or offensive or derivative. I just feel nothing. Not hate, not love. My favorite part of this mon is its laced booty feet. That's pretty cute ngl. The way it is proportioned with 90% leg and no knees so it's constantly waddling around and crushing small creatures under its stumps. That's pretty funny too.

But the rest of it is so... nothing, that it's not enough for me to like it. Again, I don't dislike it. 5 out of 10 is not bad, it's completely average. I'm violently neutral about this pokemon.

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Drawing and Reviewing a Random Pokémon #1: Popplio

Today I have impulsively decided to draw and review a randomly generated pokémon every ... whenever I feel like it :)

Popplio --- Rating: 8/10

Popplio's design is cute and simple, but not so simple that it's boring or bland. She isn't just a seal, but she isn't an overdesigned mess either. She's a silly little guy with a honk honk clown nose and that frilly neck thing. Love <3

When Sun and Moon were first revealed, I was smitten with Rowlet. Now, I have to be honest, Popplio has significantly grown on me over the years and become my favorite Alolan starter. The first stage Alolan starters are all really solid ngl. But Popplio is just so unapologetically happy and playful and I love that. She has good vibes, and you know that she's the kind of friend that would notice when you're feeling sad and try to cheer you up by balancing bubbles on her nose while juggling Pincurchin. If she was a person, she'd be 5'1" and bouncing around with trampoline shoes all the while flawlessly belting out a trombone solo. Basically she's Pinkie Pie coded

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It's probably been done before, but every time I talk to Shino I am reminded that the resemblance is uncanny

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I get different vibes from the sore losers of the Johto region

Btw I don't know who's in charge of officiating pokemon ship names... but I put forward "SoreLoserShipping" for these two if it isn't already taken... the only gym leaders (to my knowledge??) that refuse to give you your badge right away, and they're both strong Johto ladies. They should smooch.