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hot girl summer or whatever idk🏖

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sigh.

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Someone called it “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Gay” and I never recovered

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Aziraphale is the most character ever. He ran out of ideas so he declared war on hell. He canonically says fuck. His favourite colour is yellow. He’s literally an angel and can speak every language on earth but still isn’t fluent in french. He told his boyfriend to shoot him for his magic act and made him go through with it when their miracles weren’t working. He gave away his flaming sword and then lied about it for the next 6000 years. He has a bookshop that never sells books. No one’s doing it like him.

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i hate when ppl are rude for no reason like why can’t we all just hold hands and make a circle around the planet

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Spite can be a incredible motivator

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THEY NEED TO HIRE JORGE THEY NEED TO

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Thought my gf cheated on me again so I messed around with her gay brother, but it turns out it really *was* just her cousin that she was spending time with, so now I’m kinda feeling guilty and confused

Is this how a priest in a confessional booth feels… ten hail marys

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scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

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i can’t endlessly retweet the original since i uninstalled stupid bird app, so i’m posting it here to endlessly reblog instead

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bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

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I had a dream that someone started a meme at the bottom of their tumblr posts that was just a banner of harry styles giving a thumbs up with the text "This post is Ravioli Approved." It got really popular, and eventually Harry got wind of it and went on James Corden and said "this meme is Ravioli Approved." Everyone loved it and it was really funny, and Harry Styles played along. Until one day he tweeted "Donald Trump is not Ravioli Approved." And the next day Trump fucking died.

suddenly everyone was DMing Harry Styles like "am I ravioli approved???" And he mostly said yes, but the ones he said no to died. And the next day it would come out that they had been murderers or just terrible people.

They gave Harry Styles his own government Bureau of Ravioli Approval (BORA) and every baby born got an approval/disapproval rating with their social security number. Infant mortality dropped because every baby except the Disapproved ones lived.

Eventually he did like a 12-hour live special of him reading the death records of the last 20 years and approving/disapproving of their deaths. There wasn't any earthly repercussions to that but im pretty sure it meant he was sending them to heaven or hell?

The dream ended with a looney tunes ending card, except instead of porky pig it was harry in the middle with the message "This Dream Is Ravioli Approved." And i woke up.