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If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

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I realized the other day that the reason I didn't watch much TV as a teenager (and why I'm only now catching up on late aughts/early teens media that I missed), is because I literally didn't understand how to use our TV. My parents got a new system, and it had three remotes with a Venn diagram of functions. If someone left the TV on an unfamiliar mode, I didn't know how to get back to where I wanted to be, so I just stopped watching TV on my own altogether.

I explained all this to my therapist, because I didn't know if this was more related to my then-unnoticed autism, or to my relationship with my parents at the time (we had issues less/unrelated to neurodivergency). She told me something interesting.

In children's autism assessments, a common test is to give them a straightforward task that they cannot reasonably perform, like opening an overtight jar. The "real" test is to see, when they realize that they cannot do it on their own, if they approach a caregiver for help. Children that do not seek help are more likely to be autistic than those that do.

This aligns with the compulsory independence I've noticed to be common in autistic adults, particularly articulated by those with lower support needs and/or who were evaluated later in life. It just genuinely does not occur to us to ask for help, to the point that we abandon many tasks that we could easily perform with minor assistance. I had assumed it was due to a shared common social trauma (ie bad experiences with asking for help in the past), but the fact that this trait is a childhood test metric hints at something deeper.

My therapist told me that the extremely pathologizing main theory is that this has something to do with theory of mind, that is doesn't occur to us that other people may have skills that we do not. I can't speak for my early childhood self, or for all autistic people, but I don't buy this. Even if I'm aware that someone else has knowledge that I do not (as with my parents understanding of our TV), asking for help still doesn't present itself as an option. Why?

My best guess, using only myself as a model, is due to the static wall of a communication barrier. I struggle a lot to make myself understood, to articulate the thing in my brain well enough that it will appear identically (or at least close enough) in somebody else's brain. I need to be actively aware of myself and my audience. I need to know the correct words, the correct sentence structure, and a close-enough tone, cadence, and body language. I need draft scripts to react to possible responses, because if I get caught too off guard, I may need several minutes to construct an appropriate response. In simple day-to-day interactions, I can get by okay. In a few very specific situations, I can excel. When given the opportunity, I can write more clearly than I am ever capable of speaking.

When I'm in a situation where I need help, I don't have many of my components of communication. I don't always know what my audience knows. I don't have sufficient vocabulary to explain what I need. I don't know what information is relevant to convey, and the order in which I should convey it. I don't often understand the degree of help I need, so I can come across inappropriately urgent or overly relaxed. I have no ability to preplan scripts because I don't even know the basic plot of the situation.

I can stumble though with one or two deficiencies, but if I'm missing too much, me and the potential helper become mutually unintelligible. I have learned the limits of what I can expect from myself, and it is conceptualized as a real and physical barrier. I am not a runner, so running a 5k tomorrow does not present itself as an option to me. In the same way, if I have subconscious knowledge that an interaction is beyond my capability, it does not present itself as an option to me. It's the minimum communication requirements that prevent me from asking for help, not anything to do with the concept of help itself.

Maybe. This is the theory of one person. I'm curious if anyone else vibes with this at all.

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Gals being pals

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I just love them

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romancing lucanis - a story told in memes

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Lucanis Dellamorte, Mage God Killer

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It's difficult to concentrate on spell casting when there's an Antivan short king behind you, gushing over your kills and tossing out compliments left and right...

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Sooooo through the lovely reach of my previous cake-related DAV post (thank you for that btw!!) I have learned that not everyone knows how Lucanis' dessert romance lock-in works! So here, have a little sweet treat guide!! <3

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Replaying Inner Demons and realizing something:

"He always listens to you."

Then, the final romance scene:

"Your voice is a comfort to me."

Spite is basically telling Rook that Lucanis just like...listens to Rook. Meaning he isnt just obeying or taking orders from them. He's relishing the sound of them speaking. When they are sitting eating dinner together, Lucanis is quietly just, taking in Rook's voice. In the pantry listening to Rook speak with someone else through the wall. Canonical Yapper Rook stealing minds and hearts over here.

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no im not thinking constantly about the early game hilarity of when its just the ladies of da:v lounging around the dining room watching a freshly freed Lucanis bus about the stoves making food for his new strange flock of poorly fed women.

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Angsty swaps 👉👈

All my DATV gifs

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my bff @katalytic theorized that spite was saying some real out of pocket shit at that very moment and lucanis had to exit before it got out of hand and I'm honestly still thinking about it

I really do love the narrative’s insistence on Lucanis "least charming Crow” Dellamorte. Because the way he backs you to the wall is so goddamn hot, not even he could handle it. Took it straight out of one of his romance novels, then immediately thought "Oh no, too effective, can't do it." And then he never does it again. It's so funny. Lucanis used (Action: Flirt) exactly once and scared himself with his own sexy. Only genuine human vulnerability from here on out. Our beloved Awkward Pantry Man simply cannot endure his own attractiveness.

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"Smells like... Rook."

Spite says this when you reach the well in the Crossroads, the one that connects the Fade with the village in the Hossberg Wetlands. The despair demon that resides in the well is known for luring people with whispers/echoes of something they want, and then manipulating them to their doom.

SO does Spite's comment actually mean that the well demon has targeted him and Lucanis by imitating Rook's scent?

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My hot Dragon Age: the Veilguard take is that Lucanis has absolutely zero game. People portray him as super cool and flirty and suave and I’m like

This is a man who does not know what to do with a compliment. He’s a little business boy who has a big job and an overbearing grandmother.

You say something sexy to him and he fucking chokes on his own spit.

Y’all hear the accent and think sensual right away but this man hasn’t slept in like 3 weeks, is literally running on Spite, and hides in the pantry most of the time.

No game whatsoever.

I love him 🥹💕

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Normal pope activities

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TAEYEON INVU, 2022