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Form: (occupation)

“Internet comedian”

“Is that a real job?”

“You’d be surprised.”

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(sotto voce) can I be on the payroll of the monster so instead of being helpful I misdirect the heroic ensemble

My goal in life is to be the person running the bookstore in the horror thriller where the protagonist has to go to track down a rune. I've got stupid hair and a vest or something. The protagonist shows me a rune drawn on a napkin and I say shit like "Aha! Just a moment!" Before skittering off for some gay ass book

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Good news! This is called your friends and I hope you have lots of them and they tell you they love you.

Here I shall start!

@nudityandnerdery somehow a pile of stars aligned some decade plus ago and I stumbled into your world or you stumbled into mine, god only knows and she keeps saying it’s a spoiler to remember

Your buns and bardic humor have driven me to fits with laughter and joys over the years, too many to count, too precious to forget

Your presence on this earth is a mote of energy and I cherish the blip on the screen when you appear

May everything go your way

they should invent a brain that doesn’t tell you mean things at night time

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On quiet nights, after a long day at the propanery -- dealing with customers, returns, rushed purchases, dismissals of not just the warranty but the safety instructions, Dale attempting to smoke on the premises, Bill asking every female customer if they need help carrying their gas --

do you think

Hank Rutherford Hill 123 Rainey Street Arlen Texas

of the

United States of America

with his unblemished voting record, lawn, and love of (yet varied ability to understand) his family

a good neighbor with a good credit score

an man whom returns his video tapes (of which are not pornographic)

fancies himself a look at the asses painted by Frank Frazetta

not (just) with longing

but also envy?

Hank,

My friend.

It is okay to dream. It is a good dream to have. A very good dream to have.

Art by • Frank Frazetta

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You: A fanged horror beyond what imagination could previously construct, building a corporeal form using abysmal energies.

Me: Eyes wide with delight and desperately in love.

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“Will your Halloween book reviews have easy to find at the library information?”

Buddy my fellow my darling my heart kiss me if you like

I am going to have ISBN, I am going to have author, I am going to have year published, I am going to have illustrator

I am leveraging the FULL SCOPE of my THROW MONEY AT A PROGRAMMER to make a system that is easy for you to say “huh, neat, I should check that out… it would be handy to have all relevant details… oh look at that thank you atty you incredibly gorgeous, strange, individual.”

I. Love. Having a blog again.

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Beginning a new blog series where I give art critiques to illustrated Halloween books.

The goal is pure celebration — any book I disagree with the direction of or just do not enjoy, I will simply skip.

This is from the 1986 classic “Scary, Scary Halloween”!

Working on the post this week.

What other books should I review?

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I'm not even frustrated with AI art anymore I'm just sad. I feel like this is just. A symptom of a much larger issue. Things just poof into existence for our consumption, and we don't really care about the details. Everything is about instant gratification and convenience. Everything is taken for granted. I don't like it. 😭

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Once the dead man is revived, we can ask him five questions, at which point he will die again, never to be re-revived.

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pirating movies by seeing them in tumblr gifs and basing my own story around them

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her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

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Addams Family Values 1993, dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

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"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

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Strawberry delivers your mail (and a smooch, if you accept!)