neverland-doesnt-exist
{peter isn't coming}
just a sad girl with a blog
mostly b&w
all I wanted was a Peter pan adventure,
all I got were heartbreaks and lonely nights.
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^-^ thank you very much! I've been so much happier lately! Even have a new boyfriend (soon to be hubby) and it's so much better. Breaking up with him gave me a whole new look on life and myself and allowed me to blossom into the best version of myself, which allowed God to introduce the man I will marry.
So this just happened..... Proud of myself, but also scared.
[Boyfriend’s name]. I love you, you know that. But I also love myself. And to love myself means to take care of myself and keep myself healthy. Being with you isn’t allowing me to do that. I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t sacrifice my own well-being to protect someone else’s feelings anymore. Especially if that person isn’t good for me, hurts me. While I’ll admit I have hurt you… You’ve been pretty manipulative when it comes to our fights. You make everything about what I’m doing wrong instead of thinking about how I feel at all or if you’re in the wrong in any way. My feelings are valid and I dont want to let them be invalidated. I don’t want to be guilted into submission like I feel I am, and I’m sorry that it had to be this way. I just can’t do this anymore. I won’t argue this with you, i dont want to start a fight. my decision is final. I just want to tell you how I feel. And this is me breaking up with you. Im sorry. We’ve barely talked lately and when we do its mostly all about you. Others notice it too, so its not me being “crazy”. I get you’re struggling with some things right now and i understand you’re sick. And I’m sorry, i wish I could do something about that but i cant. I’m happy you’re getting help, but I’ve been struggling too. I’ve been sick both physically this week and emotionally for a very long time. And its only getting worse. And any time i bring any of that up (which i try not to) you seem to tend to ignore it and talk about yourself. It hurts. I feel unimportant. I also feel like you’ve been making excuses not to see me since our fight on Halloween (which was over 2 weeks ago). I feel like you’re using your illness to avoid me. I understand you have a legitimate illness and you get sick often, but I just can’t help but feel like you’re using it to get out of seeing me. You seem to really only value your video games, which I get you have a goal you’re trying to reach but I’m a person, not a concept. I exist and you just seem to ignore me all the time. You don’t have time to talk to me but you have time to play hours of video games. I’m just sick of it. It hurts. I feel like you’ve been taking advantage of me and the fact that I trust you. Like you think you can treat me poorly and then I’ll just submit to you every time without question and always believing its all my fault. But it’s not all my fault and I won’t just meekly submit. I’m sorry, I do love you, but I cannot deal with this anymore. I’m done.
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DO NOT DO THIS.
This makes me so angry.
If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.
My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.
When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.
If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.
Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.
Please signal boost this so people know.
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Maybe I should stop trying to be worth it, I know I’m useless and I know he doesn’t want me so I should just stop.
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Does anyone else just sit and purposefully listen to their trigger song just to feel their heart race with every beat, and to lose themselves in numbness...? Or Is that just me?
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11.17.15
Dear whomever reads this,
You’ll be okay, perhaps not today, or next week, maybe not even in a month; but I can feel it, you’re going to survive this because you are strong. It can’t rain forever.
Sincerely, a friend. xx
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Update he took it really well, recognised how he was hurting me and apologised. Proud of myself for standing up for myself though. We are now broken up on good terms. :)
So this just happened..... Proud of myself, but also scared.
[Boyfriend’s name]. I love you, you know that. But I also love myself. And to love myself means to take care of myself and keep myself healthy. Being with you isn’t allowing me to do that. I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t sacrifice my own well-being to protect someone else’s feelings anymore. Especially if that person isn’t good for me, hurts me. While I’ll admit I have hurt you… You’ve been pretty manipulative when it comes to our fights. You make everything about what I’m doing wrong instead of thinking about how I feel at all or if you’re in the wrong in any way. My feelings are valid and I dont want to let them be invalidated. I don’t want to be guilted into submission like I feel I am, and I’m sorry that it had to be this way. I just can’t do this anymore. I won’t argue this with you, i dont want to start a fight. my decision is final. I just want to tell you how I feel. And this is me breaking up with you. Im sorry. We’ve barely talked lately and when we do its mostly all about you. Others notice it too, so its not me being “crazy”. I get you’re struggling with some things right now and i understand you’re sick. And I’m sorry, i wish I could do something about that but i cant. I’m happy you’re getting help, but I’ve been struggling too. I’ve been sick both physically this week and emotionally for a very long time. And its only getting worse. And any time i bring any of that up (which i try not to) you seem to tend to ignore it and talk about yourself. It hurts. I feel unimportant. I also feel like you’ve been making excuses not to see me since our fight on Halloween (which was over 2 weeks ago). I feel like you’re using your illness to avoid me. I understand you have a legitimate illness and you get sick often, but I just can’t help but feel like you’re using it to get out of seeing me. You seem to really only value your video games, which I get you have a goal you’re trying to reach but I’m a person, not a concept. I exist and you just seem to ignore me all the time. You don’t have time to talk to me but you have time to play hours of video games. I’m just sick of it. It hurts. I feel like you’ve been taking advantage of me and the fact that I trust you. Like you think you can treat me poorly and then I’ll just submit to you every time without question and always believing its all my fault. But it’s not all my fault and I won’t just meekly submit. I’m sorry, I do love you, but I cannot deal with this anymore. I’m done.
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