nevers0ber

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It saddens me to think I’ll never have a close friendship again, maybe I only got 2 in this lifetime.

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“Untitled“ by | Eric Reinheart

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41 29th Street, 1978 

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Ada Limón, , from a poem titled "How We Are Made," featured in The Carrying: Poems

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Your eyes are so bright,

But the darkness in them is so heavy.

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Unknown.

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“I hope you’ll see me one day and see who I’ve become. I hope regret steals your breath.”

— Jess Amelia

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the wounds are raw and fresh all over again but that was healing

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walking in there I want to feel transported back to a happy time, to a time where I walked through the beaded curtain and immediately I felt the music coming from my feet. I want to imagine making my way past people to go to the one bar with that one cute blonde bartender who always knew how to pour a drink. to opening the doors and entering my favorite room in the place, seeing my friend DJ and having the best spot in the house by the stage. remembering every good time I had there, the excitement I felt getting ready to go there. but that’s not my last memory as of right now.

that beaded curtain was ripped down, the floor I once danced on so happily and full of joy, flooded with blood and of people who were just trying to survive. the same doors I’d open to see my friend were the same doors that flew opened and crowds of people pushed me down and I almost didn’t make it, I froze, as any 23 year old might do.

I don’t want that night to be my last memory, I want to rewrite my last visit and maybe today will help, maybe today will heal some part of me that was broken 9 years ago. is that even possible? tears will be shed, happy or sad? who knows.

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inscription that i am obsessed with

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