newyorkedkurthummel-blog

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[Kurt's small smile broke as his tears went freely and he tried to swallow  down a sob but it didn't really work.] I'm so sorry, I can't... I can't promise that, I'm sorry. I don't want to disappoint you, I don't want to make you sad but I can't right now... I have to get that surgery, I'm so sorry.

In Person: Kurt and Blaine.

[Blaine ducked his head, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand, the other squeezing Kurt’s. A small hiccup bubble out of his throat, shaking his frail frame with the force of his dry sob.] Kurt… I… need you to be safe… Please, please… I can’t… — [He chocked out, raising his head to look at Kurt through the tears in his eyes, one hand reaching out to cup Kurt’s cheeks tenderly.] Please… Don’t apologize… I. just need you to be fine. I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt…Or… Please. Just please.

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[Kurt moved his other hand, wrapping Blaine's in his both and squeezing again.] Hey, look at me, come on. I will be fine. [Kurt said in a weak, trembling voice.] I promise, you're not losing me, I'll be back by the morning and I'll be okay. I'll have... I'll need some treatment but I'll be okay. I will be okay [Kurt repeated and bit his lip, trying to stop his own tears.] I'm so sorry.

In Person: Kurt and Blaine.

[Blaine stood there, rooted to the floor, frozen in stupid as the words registered in his mind. He could feel his windpipe tighten as the the lump in his throat swelled. He opened his mouth to say something only to close it mere seconds after, unable to form a sentence. He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut to will away the tears welling up in his eyes.] A… A brain tumor? …How? I…No — Kurt. That can’t be possible. You told me you’d be alright…You…need to be fine.

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[Kurt bit his lip and looked at Burt and Carole, pointing at the door. It was something he wanted to discuss with his parents in a room. They needed some peace and less tension for this. Burt tried to say something but Carole touched his shoulder and they left, standing at the hallway and looking at Kurt and Blaine but out of the room, at least.] I had MRI, right? So they found out there’s some, I don’t know exactly, mass in my head? It’s a brain timor but it’s probably not going to be… It’s not good but it probably has another reason and it’s not a cancer itself. I don’t really understand everything, I’m sorry I can’t explain it properly. But I need a surgery to get out that mass. And then they’ll run more tests to find out what’s wrong. [Kurt mumbled, frowning at his own words. He didn’t even understand what was happening himself so how was he supposed to explain it well to Blaine.]

In Person: Kurt and Blaine.

[Blaine couldn’t help but to frown as he heard Burt clear his throat, raising his head to look up at Kurt’s dad in confusion, the thumb stroking Kurt’s hand stilling for a moment. He frowned, but didn’t say anything, mind wanting to be reassured more than anything. The silence settling between them after Burt’s intervention, however, did nothing to calm his nerves.] You… What? A Surgery…. what? [Blaine asked confusion clouding his mind, as panic took over.] 

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[Kurt smiled when Blaine moved closer to the bed and reached for his hand, squeezing it gently.] I'm okay, I promise. [He whispered but winced at the sound Burt made in reaction to his words. Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He really didn't want to worry Blaine. His boyfriend has enough of the problems on his mind but then... He would find out anyway, there was no way Kurt could hide that so he sighed and looked at Blaine.] I need a surgery. I'll have to get one and today... 

In Person: Kurt and Blaine.

[Blaine released a loud sigh of relief, when his eyes spotted Kurt on the hospital bed. He bit his lips, his expression softening considerably after taking in Kurt’s unusual paleness.] Hi, Kurt. [He answered keeping his voice low as he closed the distance between them, leaning in to press a soft kiss on Kurt’s forehead.] How are you feeling? [He asked, turning to greet Carole and Burt with a soft nod of head, blush creeping to his cheeks.] 

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[Kurt propped himself up on the pillows, half sitting and reaching for Blaine as soon as the boy entered the room. He ached to hug Blaine, to be held and to feel for a second like everything was okay again. He couldn't care less about the angry look Burt gave him.] Hello. [He whispered in a raspy voice, his throat dry as he wasn't allowed to drink since his MRI.] 

In Person: Kurt and Blaine.

[Blaine didn’t even know how he had managed to power through the the whole trip to the hospital. His mind went blank, focusing only on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel in an iron grip, as he tried to fight through the memories of that night flashing past his mind, each time his eyes left the windshield. After fifteen torturous minute of driving, Blaine was parked in Lima memorial’s  parking lot, rushing out of his car, not even bothering to lock the door of his car… well,  his, not even the car belonged to him anymore. He had lost everything he owned that night. Everything was robbed from his property. He took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut to will away the negative thoughts, today was about Kurt, today would be about Kurt and only Kurt.] Hi… I’m here to visit my cousin, Kurt Hummel, room 204. [He told the nurse at the reception, not even daring to look up at her as she gave him the directions to his room. He rushed through the corridors, and not bothering to knock before entering Kurt’s room.] Hi…

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In Person: Kurt and Blaine.

[Kurt was lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and several machines, answering the questions asked by Carole. Her voice was trembling but she kept filling the papers and kept going because she was the only doctor that would let Blaine in during the procedures so she needed to be in the room for official matter.] I'm not sick, I don't have any condition, I'm okay. [He kept repeating. He was answering but his mind was only half on it as he stared out of the glass door, which costed him a scold from his dad. He was supposed to focus because it was an important part but how could he if Blaine wasn't there and he didn't even know? He just wanted to talk to his boyfriend and have a few moments of peace which didn't seem likely to happen anytime soon. He was scared, terrified and it felt like he was alone even though his whole family was in the room.]

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Texting: Kurt & Blaine.

Blaine: I...I -- Yes. I'll be on my way...

Blaine: How are you feeling?

Kurt: I'm okay :) I'll be okay.

Kurt: I'm waiting, room 204, you have to tell them you're family, okay?

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Texting: Kurt & Blaine.

Kurt: Hey, I'm out.

Kurt: Can you come?

Kurt: Please.

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It's not the first time I've been tired lately, you know? Just my dad panicked and Carole scolded me when she heard. They all overreacted and I'm getting MRI in a minute. I'll text you after it's done, okay? The nurse who brought me here is staring at me.

You are way too impatient, they’ve just restitched your arm, Kurt. You should rest… especially since you’ve fainted, you’re over exhausting yourself.

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I'm going to be okay. They're planning to run a few tests and they already restitched my forearm. It stinks but I'm okay. Just irritated they make me stay.

Oh my god, Kurt! Are you alright? 

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I was helping my dad in a garage today and because of heat I might have collapsed. I tried to tell my dad I was just dehydrated and we could just go to the clinic to redo one of the stitches I broke while falling but he insisted on calling an ambulance. So I did end up in a hospital and they don't seem to want to let me out.

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Okay. But don't worry, it's just the time, spring is coming, the weather is changing. I bet I'm okay. I love you!

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You know I don't like doctors, B. I'll think about it, okay? If it doesn't go away I guess I'll have to do something. But don't worry about me, I'm okay, I promise.

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I'd have to visit my doctor because I'm taking the strongest medicine I can get over the counter and I don't have time for that now. I'll be fine, I got used to it. I love you.

No TV for me tonight. Music and cuddles?

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It's been "Migraine Age" for me since I was 15, I'm slowly getting used to it, I just wish it wasn't that intense but I'll survive. Especially if you do make me tea, I love tea.

We could talk or listen to the music or just cuddle intensely. 

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Headaches come with age, maybe that's an answer? But then you're older and you're in an amazing shape. I took the third pill just now, hopefully it'll help. Why, thank you. You're amazing yourself.

Are you planning to wear me out today evening?

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I've always had troubles with my head, I doubt it's anything big. Migraines are just getting worse. Maybe I'm getting old.

Maybe I do love them, maybe I don't.