nicaaaack-blog

[nicaaaack-blog]

Progress

work on it and learn from it.

[nicaaaack-blog]

Restless. Speechless. Love, less.

Last night we were laying in bed and your touch felt different, the words you were speaking had no meaning, and I pretended I cared. There's an emptiness in me and you can't see it. 

But I can't tell you these things and I don't know how much more trying we can do. I don't know how many times I can hear you tell me to do less for you, without me hearing "care less" in those words, because honestly I could only do that if I love you less. But all I really want is for you to love me more.

"If you're so unhappy with me why are you still with me?"

I'm still trying to figure that out. But you don't think it hurts me to know that the person I'm with knows that I'm feeling this way but doesn't put in the effort to make it work?

I know I can be okay without you, and as much as I love you, I will always love myself more.

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i’m at a point in my life where everything is falling apart and everything is coming together at the same time.

(via hefuckin)

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If there’s anything that I appreciate more in life it’s when somebody gives me time. Time to talk, time to give me space, time to give me an answer, time to think, time to love, whatever the case is. I’ve really learned how to appreciate time more because we all have it and aren't always able to give it. It might not always be convenient or right, but when it comes around it’s always nice to know you were worth somebody else’s time.

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I love you, but I’m mad at you is one of the most freeing, important things you can say in a stable relationship. Does that make sense? To know that you have the ability and the right to be mad at someone and know that it doesn’t mean things are over, that it doesn’t mean things are irreparable. That it just means I’m mad, but God, I love you. I love you. Now leave me alone.

To be good, to save nothing   (via bdtn)

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I can be someone’s and still be my own.

Shel Silverstein (via onkh-m-maat)

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Feel good music.

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I’ve spent too much time alone the past 6 months, I finally get it. After so many years of being influenced by my surroundings I feel like I’ve found myself again. I’m simpler than I thought I was and I’m glad that I’ve shed off all the extra baggage. I think I’ve spent a lot of my time trying to...

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People are fucking crazy.

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She wanted something else, something different, something more. Passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.

Nicholas Sparks (via alexxmead)

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Same girl, same love story

So it has been a little over a year now.

I've felt butterflies and sparks that have come and gone the same way for  everybody after my last relationship. Most of them began because it was convenient and ended because I didn't want to feel anymore or get hurt. Really weird that it happened three times in a row, and each situation was almost the same. 

Something I wasn't expecting but ended up happening. A little effort thrown in. Feelings mixed in. And somewhere in between something that started off so simple becomes complicated and then it ends.

Frustrating. The last one was.. honest to say the least. It was a conversation that needed to happen but it was also one of those things were ignorance could have just been bliss. I'm just not comfortable talking about feelings or explaining myself anymore. I would rather not be raw and vulnerable, I prefer to just go with the flow and speak of nothing even if it ends up nowhere. 

But he was right. It's not worth it if both of us are not going to put 100% in. Maybe.. or even eventually we would have been great. Not now. At least when the both of us don't really know what the hell it is we want. If only the fine line between feeling wanted by somebody and still live freely existed and worked perfectly. But love and its potential cannot have desultory commitment and be successful. If I'm going to make something work, I'm always going to give it my all.

I don't know how I'm feeling.. Lost cause.

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Sometimes I forget about you. Even though this was once my reality it feels like you were just make believe or a really good dream. It is still really weird to know that the person I knew and loved everything about is just another face in the crowd and always will be.

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That’s why love is madness. It’s too easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart.

I Wrote This For You: The Manic Iridescent (via anditslove)

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