nickitxrres - Tumblr blog

[nickitxrres]

closed starter for @isaacapatow

location: Ike's house

The note she found on her door was bothering her maybe more than it should. What the hell did it mean you are the Roanoke colony? While she barely paid attention in history, she remembered that the Roanoke colony was a settlement that just randomly disappeared without anyone figuring out why or where they went and that little bit of knowledge was enough to set her on edge. Was this a threat? A joke? She didn't know but she sure as hell was going to find out.

That was why she was on her way to see Ike. She wanted to show it to him first and get his take on it before worrying Ares. He'd be more sensible about it and talk her down. That and she didn't want to worry Ares preemptively. Thankfully she found him outside his house as she approached, note in hand. "Look what I found on my door this morning," she said as she approached and handed it to him, "tell me what you think this means before I start freaking the fuck out."

[nickitxrres]

You find a note attached to your front door. In lowercase letters it reads: you are the roanoke colony.

What the hell....

[nickitxrres]

Whenever Nicki was outside of the walls, she felt like she could breath better. Although for a few months after the Ranch, it didn't feel like that. It had taken her a bit to get back to this, between recovering physically and mentally. Her ego had taken quite a blow from what happened and, she was pained to admit, she had been afraid to go out on a raid. Afraid that if she went out she would freeze and her team would get hurt. Ares would get hurt. So she had done something she didn't think was possible - she took it slow. Milk runs at first, just easy stuff that didn't require too much. But now she was back, better and, much to everyone's relief, more restrained on raids.

This wasn't a raid. This was a long awaited date that Nicki had very much been looking toward. Finally, she was going to introduce her baby to her man. No need for reservations - today was for fun. "I found some old cans on the last cache run I did. There was this old storage shed nearby and when I went in - bam! Fuel cans - don't tell Ike. I took them straight to Persephone. I know I should have brought some back butttttt we can always say we found some one we get back and bring it with us."

She reached out with a hand and grabbed Ares' to give a big squeeze. This was nice. Just the two of them doing things together. Outside, taking out the occasional straggling walker and no other worries around. Moments like these were her favorites. "You know, I would have to check but I don't see why they wouldn't let me bring her in. The only reason I left her out here to begin with was because I ran out of fuel in the first place. I was wandering around, trying to find a fuel cache so I could get her going again and keep driving and then Ike found me. I probably could have asked to have her brought back before this but I think I liked having a reason to go solo out here, but I'm not solo anymore, am I? Keeping her close would be nice. I'll talk to Papi about it. She might not get driven anymore but we can still sit in her, fall asleep on the back bench, give her some TLC.....and I can finally get Alden to fix the glove box handle that HE broke!"

starter for: @nickitxrres

location: outside the walls of redwood

Ares had almost forgotten what it'd been like when he hadn't been able to venture outside the walls and move. But sometimes, strangely enough in moments where everything was normal, peaceful, he remembered it almost acutely. Maybe it was a whole contrast-thing - doing something good brought up the times when you couldn't. Being stuck in Redwood hadn't been terrible but it was just good, making his way through strips of forest and brush and deserted land, with only the occasional walker in sight.

"Think we can still find fuel for her and get her running?" Ares turned his head to ask Nicki as they trudged alongside each other. The other reason being out here felt amazing. "I know gasoline's probably all degraded now. I heard some cars can run on moonshine."

Nicki had always said she wanted to introduce him to Persephone. There'd never really been a great time for it - between the Daybreaker thing and recovering and going on raids and hell, just doing the normal couple stuff inside of Redwood, visiting Persephone had been a project that had taken both of them quite a while. "It'd be really cool if you could just bring her inside Redwood. Think the council would let us?"

[nickitxrres]

If you're brave enough.

[nickitxrres]

Nicki had been taking everything rather seriously lately, especially her recovery. Every morning she went for a walk to get up and moving, sometimes a light jog thrown in followed by restorative yoga with Mayra. It had been working and she was feeling better. Calmer. More at ease. She had made a promise to change and she was going to do just that. One day at a time.

She had stepped out of her place when she stopped upon hearing Zack. A slight twist formed in her stomach. Things were still awkward and tense between them and he was on the list of people to repair things with. All she had to do was be mindful and courteous. She could do that. She gave him a nod at first before walking alongside him. "What did you want to talk with me about, boss?" She asked, curious to see what it was he wanted to talk to her about.

starter for: @nickitxrres

location: redwood square

Zack had never been the type of person to let personal shit interfere with getting done what needed to be done. Business was business. One of the lessons the Astors had ingrained into his mind, and that effective pragmatism had gotten him pretty damn far in his life. Things were no different in Redwood. Which was why, while Ike was out of town on a recon mission, taking that tall moose-guy with him, Zack had approached Nicki just as she'd stepped out of her apartment bordering Redwood square.

"Torres. A word." Zack regarded Nicki as he stepped up to her, his words accompanied by a short nod north, where the buildings containing their overflow storage rose up. "Raider business. Walk with me."

[nickitxrres]

Nicki made a face at Mike as he described rather vaguely some of the horror that Zack had endured. If Nicki was in any other shape or hadn't made a promise to try and tone things down she would have kneed him directly in his balls and clawed his face so he had scars as a reminder that he shouldn't be pissing off people, specifically her. But she wasn't currently and that could potentially make things worse. "You're disgusting."

Maybe she didn't know everything but Zack had given her enough of a picture. The disgusting, depraved things they had done to him...made her own experience with them look like a cake-walk. Both times, really. Right now, she wasn't aiming for a third round. The idea of running into them again - she would never admit it, but it downright terrified her. That fire she had to get back at them was extinguished under three layers of fire retardant foam. She doubted she could stomach trying to face off with them if they showed their disgusting faces here.

So seeing Mike's reaction when talking about the General was a little surprising. Although she had her doubts. For all she knew, he was just pulling on that thread to try and get some sympathy and worm his way in with the people here. She wasn't buying it. "And yet, you spent how many years under him and didn't think to...oh, I don't know, stick a knife in him as he slept? Sure as hell would have saved a lot of people the trouble. Might have spared your brother too."

"Whoa there, mamacita." Mike smirked at Nicki's outburst, looking at her with the same curiosity that you'd look at a particularly interesting bug, or sign, or coffee mug. "I ain't about to lay hands on Zack. I got plenty of fun memories when it comes to that. He was so tough, Nicki, the way he'd fuckin give us that rottweiler look even when we was in the midst of..." Mike broke off there, laughing through an open-mouthed grin. "Well," he said, voice dipping to something confidential between the two of them, "you know what we was in the midst of doing to him."

He carried on, saying, "--or you don't know exactly. Like I said, things was different at the Factory. Whole 'nother level of business given that the General was there to oversee it his own self." Mike's face did darken when he mentioned the General, shifting his narrow jaw from side to side and finally turning his head to spit in anger. "That's liketa be the one single sole thing that Zack and me gonna agree on, is wanting the General dead."

[nickitxrres]

what role do you play in your group of friends?

The hot mess.

[nickitxrres]

Are you trying to close your relationship with Ares because you're scared of losing him?

See, questions like these make me want to spit fire at people BUT I know someone cough Papi cough is going to yell at me to answer SO

Yes. I almost lost him twice in the span of a few weeks and I've realized that I've developed more..... Compound feelings with Ares so I want to be closer with him and that means totally focusing on him.

@aresmelaina , @isaacapatow

[nickitxrres]

Do you think you'll lead the raiders at some point, once Ike is dead?

Me? Lead? OH NO. And I've already made it perfectly clear, if Ike is dead then I'm probably also dead because I am throwing myself in front of his ass to shield him from being dead.

@isaacapatow

[nickitxrres]

Anything recently happened that you regret?

Honey, you could throw a dart blindfolded at anything that happened recently and it will 80% land on something I regret. You might want to be more specific.

[nickitxrres]

what's the first think you're gonna do once the doctors have cleared you?

Lots and lots of mind blowing sex with Ares

Go check on Persephone, see how she's doing. Focus on helping Ares. Just light things, really.

@aresmelaina

[nickitxrres]

Happy birthday!

Thank you!! 💖❤️

[nickitxrres]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICKI!

@nickitxrres

[nickitxrres]

Nicki let Ares control her hands so he could bring them to his lips. The gesture was small and intimate but so perfectly him. So perfectly Ares. Her Ares. It made the smile on her face that much easier and natural, especially with just how adorable he looked at her. She even laughed softly and nodded at his question. “Yes, I’m sure. You don’t snore that bad, anyway. Now Ike - he snores like a bull. If I can sleep through that, I can sleep through anything.” The second he let go of her hands she ran them back through his hair again, tracing her nails along his scalp with a soft, intimate touch.

She released a long breath when he pressed on her sides, the stiff, swollen muscles decompressing and relaxing. It felt so good. His touch always did. She could be bloody and bruised and his fingers on her skin were better than any painkillers she could take. Even at the Ranch when they had been holding each other after the atrocities they had endured, the second she was in his arms she felt everything just float away, if only briefly. She purred happily, shifting a little to sway and flip her hair over her other shoulder. “I would love a massage from you. But only if you’re feeling up for it. You’re still healing too.”

I’m proud of you. Did Ares know how much those words meant to her, especially coming from him? If not, he could probably see it on her face. “Thanks, mi luz,” she muttered softly, a glint in her eyes as pride and admiration swept through her features. Ike’s lesson had really put things into perspective. Words to her feelings, really identify them and say them out loud. It made her reflect on a lot of things. Her place in all of this, feelings she had towards herself that she never really realized she had until now….it also made her reevaluate certain things in her life. People she cared about. People she loved. Things she wanted. Not just that, but everything that had happened at the Ranch had shaken some things in her that she never thought would be rattled. But at the same time, it had put some things into perspective. A perspective that revealed something she wanted and maybe was a bit too afraid to ask for.

“Yeah, Frank has me on a weekly check up process. He said I’m getting close but I need a final-final physical clear from Renee. Hopefully in a few weeks I can go back out, but I’m thinking I’m sticking to milk runs. At least for the time being. That and I want to be close to you and be here when you’re ready to get cleared.” Her fingers moved out of his hair to trace his hairline and down to massage his jowls with her knuckles. “You’re my priority.”

And there was more behind those words than maybe he knew. Her teeth bit into her lower lip as she pondered how to explain this without making it seem weird or scaring him off. “Speaking of priority….I’ve done some thinking. A lot of thinking, actually, so if this gets confusing feel free to stop me and I’ll try to explain.” She sucked in a heavy breath.

“I love you. A thousand and fifty percent. I’ve loved you maybe more than I’ve loved anyone, honestly, and….I don’t think I could live a life without you. I want you completely. With every little fiber of my being. I know we’re ‘open’ but since we’ve been together, I’ve never wanted anyone like I’ve wanted you and I don’t want to want anyone else. I just want you. Tu eres la luz de mi vida. Mi mundo. Tu eres mi amor.” Her teeth sunk deeper into her lower lip as she held her breath and waited for his reaction.

"Really?" Ares asked, not sounding the least bit doubtful. Moreso, he felt elated. Still looking up at her, he pulled her hands closer and pressed soft kisses to her knuckles. Nicki had always had trouble laying out her feelings and here she was. She was trying, and she was getting somewhere. He smiled against her soft skin, when she said she'd sleep well with him there. "You sure about that? I'll probably snore and keep you awake, and you'll have to kick me to make me stop."

Letting go of her hand, he reached back - similar to the exercises he'd been given to stretch and keep his upper body strong - and pressed them against her sides. Splaying his fingers out and pressing the palms to where he suspected the swollen, torn muscles were. Letting his warmth seep into them. "Anything I can do to help? Luc still has a hot water bottle lying around somewhere. Or I could give you a massage?"

His tone had become teasing towards the end, but his hands still remained on her sides, gently kneading them while he watched for any sign of pain. "I'm proud of you. You're taking care of yourself, and you're doing good. Just want you to know that." He smiles up at her fondly, eyes warm. "Did the doctor say anything on when you can go out again?"

[nickitxrres]

"Did she? That's great," she smiled, sitting up as straight as she could with the assist of the various pillows behind her to support her while her fingers gently brushed through his hair. Every day was progress. Ares was moving around more and he was able to breath easier it seemed. The cuts and bruises were finally fading away to unmar the gorgeous skin of his face and bring him back to the image she held in her mind of him once again. Although that scar over his eye - while a bad, distant memory now - was insanely hot. And Nicki was improving too. She was able to sit up a bit more for longer, her movements were getting less stiff and the pain was dulling to a moderate ache. But, much like Ares, she was taking it slow.

"I know," she smiled, her fingernails gently scratching the skin of his scalp and massaging it to help release any extra tension he might have anywhere else. "You'll get back up again." Their fingers tangled and she smiled and mindfully, she gave them a squeeze. He was right there. In her bed. With her. He was breathing and she could see it. He was talking, looking at her, smiling....

Nicki hummed softly, her head shaking a bit at his question. "Oh, I'm...." she paused, the automatic response stopping her throat. No use of the word okay or fine. Really talk and express your emotions. It was the latest exercise Ike had given her. She smirked and laughed in her throat before shaking her head. "I'm really glad you're here tonight, mi luz. Trust me, I don't mind sitting here watching you do your breathing exercises. It's....comforting, actually. And it's helping me focus on you and not the nagging pressure in my side. I had Renee check it out, before you ask. My abdominal muscles had a few tears in them so they're just swollen as they repair themselves. It's going to be uncomfortable but that's what rest is for." See? She could answer without just giving a verbal, all encompassing answer. "But I got you here for tonight so I know I'm going to be sleeping as soundly as ever."

starter for: @nickitxrres

location: Nicki's apartment

"Renee said I can start working out again. She said I'd have to take it slow, but everything's been healing up well so far, so she doesn't see why not, as long as I'm careful with my back." Ares looked up at Nicki from where he was resting his head on her lap. They'd settled down on the bed, Ares working on his breathing exercises. Slow, deep measured breaths that had finally started to ache less, but still sent slivers of pain rolling through his ribcage.

"Man, I can't wait to get moving again." Deep breath in, his chest aching. Breath out. Ares reached up to tangle his fingers with hers. He hadn't stayed over much since he'd gotten out of the clinic, a day or two here and there. He was gonna stay overnight this time. Luc would be okay, even if his brother still seemed anxious. Ares pushed the thought away, instead opting to focus on Nicki. "You alright mi reina? It's probably boring just watching me breathe." He smiled, softly. "How are you feeling?"

[nickitxrres]

Nicki sat in silence, her face remaining as impassive as possible. She didn’t want him to feel as if he could tell her something because of a slight flinch in her facial expression or shift in body language. He sat there and listened to her. He heard her story. As upsetting as his story may be (and soon she would found out was without a doubt distressing) it was his story and he needed to tell it as it was. Let him get it out there and wait for the end to react.

Although the more he spoke, the harder it became to not react. His story was revolting. Completely and utterly disgusting. Her skin was quite literally crawling as he went into detail. She had to shift. Had to move. She could almost feel the restraints as Fleet described them. That trapped feeling. It was barbaric. Her fingers she clenched into fists until her knuckles paled and her nails dug into her palms. That bastard. Those bastards. Every single one who came over and didn’t help him. If she could go back in time she would hunt them down and make them suffer ten times more for what they had done to Fleet. No one should have to go through that. And yet, her Fleet had.

The second Fleet started to self-deprecate himself, she shook her head. She wasn’t going to have that. “Mírame,” she spoke softly, tugging gently on Fleet’s hand that she had been holding to try and get him to look up at her. “No matter what that bastard said - that was rape. Plain and simple. That should have never happened to you. That was a trauma and trauma makes us do stupid things. I would know. It doesn’t make sense and maybe it never will. But it does help us learn from them, some better than others.” Because Fleet had definitely learned more than she had. Of that, she had no doubt. “I don’t care what they told you. What happened to you wasn’t your fault, okay? You were tied up and gagged. You couldn’t protest, even if you wanted to. And I think he knew you didn’t want it. Why else would he have gone to such lengths to keep you quiet?”

Nicki tugged on his hand again, a bit more firmly. “I want to hug you right now. Pain be damned. I’m bad at words but I’m excellent at physical comfort.” She thought about adding her usual Nicki flair to the end of that but this wasn’t a time for witty remarks. This was about them dealing with their trauma and being there for one another. Nicki and her little star.

"Do you really want to know?"

That was the crux of it all: Fleet didn't think anyone did. He'd told Zack, but that was different -- it had come up more or less in the course of conversation, because Fleet had started telling it like a crazy misunderstanding that had happened to him in university and Zack had said kid, that doesn't sound funny at all, that sounds like you didn't want it, and reframed the entire thing in that one sentence.

Fleet didn't really wait for Nicki to say yes or no. She'd offered, and they were in the thick of it, and the idea of revisiting this kind of emotional morass later, after the moment had passed, was near-excruciating. He'd never bring it up again of his own volition, Fleet knew that much. So maybe, no matter if Nicki talked to him more about his stupid, sad little story or if she just said 'you didn't deserve that' and left it right there, this was the time to do it.

"Okay," Fleet said. "I was nineteen."

He stuck to bare bones at first: his one date with Armie where he'd found that the handsome doctor turned out to be sort of dull, and so Fleet hadn't been paying much attention to the conversation, hadn't realized that Armie had gotten him to talk about his class schedule, who he was routinely in contact with, what Fleet's secret dirty fantasies were, everything you'd see in a Lifetime movie and be screaming at the protagonist were the biggest red flags. He hadn't realized anything till he'd gone back to Armie's suite in campus housing -- a far cry from Fleet's own little single dorm room -- and he'd found himself legless, tied up, gagged.

"I felt like I couldn't move much, to do anything," Fleet said, pleating his fingers together over and over and looking down at them. "He kept me gagged most of the time, or so drugged up I could barely think when I wasn't, because when it was all over he said I never told him no, never said I wanted him to stop. He acted shocked that I was upset and on the brink of having a nervous breakdown because he said I told him -- on our date -- that it was a fantasy of mine to be abducted and used. Which, I mean..."

Fleet shrugged, with a harsh huff of breath. "Who knows. Maybe I did say that, to see if it would shock him, because I thought he was so boring. Because I was full of myself and being rude." He untangled his fingers, brushing off the knees of his jeans in tense, hard slaps. "He eventually let me go, because I had an exam the next day I needed to take and he was conscientious about my schoolwork. But he kept me at his place for ten days till then. He had friends who came over. They thought I was into it too."

He didn't elaborate. Fleet shut his mouth with a snap, shifting his lower jaw to the side, his gaze going unfocused. "You wanna know the really bad part?" he said, voice low and shaky but tight, with self-loathing. "He was one of the campus doctors. At the student union. After that, after all that, I specifically went to him whenever I needed to go to the clinic." Fleet looked up at Nicki. "So yeah. That's how smart and stupendous I am."

[nickitxrres]

POT O' GOLD

Nicki Torres

Nicki didn't have the usual skip in her step BUT she had been quite overjoyed when she finally came up with a perfect gift for Tamir for the pot of Gold. And since she knew the guy was a bit antisocial, well....she wanted to see his reaction. So she arrived with the bag in did a shave and a haircut knock on his door while biting her lip in excitement.

Tamir Kamadar

Looking up from the notebook he'd been staring at for quite some time, Tamir's brows hugged. Who the hell is that? he asked himself, annoyance quickly coursing through his veins. Not many came to his home to find him but the rare few whom Tamir invited to do so. When he approached the door and spotted Nicki, Tamir almost turned around to hide in his room - even when she clearly saw him coming. Reaching for the knob, he pulled the door open. "What do you want?"

Nicki Torres

Nicki was peering through the window and she quickly spotted the grumpy man. She gave him a smile and a wave as he approached the door. This was going to be good. "Always so friendly," she replied in amusement. She thought about saving this little diddy for later but she couldn't help herself. "I've got something for you." She reached into the bag and first wrapped her fingers around the small object. "You wanna screw?" Ashley asked this, with a very proud spark on her face, she held up the tiny screw.

Tamir Kamadar

Always so friendly. Tamir briefly flashed a fake smile before continuing to give his harsh stare. However, it was interrupted by Nicki's question when his face pinched. He was just about to let her down as gently as he could until Nicki held up the tool. He laughed. "You had me there for a moment, Torres." Tamir shook his head as he reached for the screwdriver. "Let me guess, I'm your 'do something nice for someone' person?"

Nicki Torres

Nicki could almost see a slight panic in his face before she produced the little tool and it made her laugh. Ah, so he did have a sense of humor, after all. "The offer stands, though," she teased, even as he took the screwdriver from her. "You would be correct. I thought about just leaving this bag of goodies with a note but I really wanted to see your face." She held up the bag of tools and gave it a shake. "You wanta see what else I got for you, Tami?"

Tamir Kamadar

He winced at Nicki's nickname for him. A sigh escaped his lips. "I beg of you to not call me that," he commented, looking at the bag. "I am curious what else is in there." Tamir knew he probably would regret doing this, "Come on in." He stepped aside, providing enough room for her to walk in, and shut the door behind her.

Nicki Torres

If that was supposed to deter Nicki from calling him that, it wasn't going to work. But she would not, for now. "Alright, alright," she hummed before nodding and walking in. She went directly to his counter and set the bag down. "So I know you have your tools and everything BUT...." she started to pull out the tools one by one - a set of vice grips, a voltage tester that Athena had been so kind as to fix up, a pair of wire strippers, some pliers and a few rolls of electrical tape, "I had these in my old toolkit for Persephone and I don't really use them. So they should go to a good home."

Tamir Kamadar

Seeing Nicki inside his home wasn’t a sight he wanted to be accustomed to. Get her in and out - that was the goal. Reaching his counter, Tamir saw the other goodies she had in her bag and whistled. “You’re just giving all this gold to me? Seriously?”

Nicki Torres

"Indeed I am," she said with a smile. "It's my gift to you. Enjoy!"

Tamir Kamadar

Tamir narrowed his eyes at her, but saw the genuine smile that matched her body language. “Well, thanks Nicki. I really appreciate it.”

Nicki Torres

Nicki hummed rather proudly as she adjusted her gait just a bit. "You are very welcome, Tamir. My offer still stands about the screw." She gave him a playful wink as she backed up to the door. "I'll leave you to play with your new toys."

@nickitxrres