nico-thenecromancer

[nico-thenecromancer]

[nico-thenecromancer]

Today is worm Wednesday. I will be turning into a worm and abandoning this life to burrow into the soft moist dirt. Goodbye!

[nico-thenecromancer]

Peter is also prone to disappearing at inopportune moments…

[nico-thenecromancer]

I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

[nico-thenecromancer]

[nico-thenecromancer]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

[nico-thenecromancer]

I hate that thing some people do where it's like. "I left my wallet on the table to see if you'd say anything" or "I wanted to see if you'd wash the car if I stopped doing it"

Cause like

I dont know about anyone else

But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering

And if I don't notice, because I won't, because why would I, because not much bothers me and if you don't say anything to indicate you are bothered then how would I KNOW

[nico-thenecromancer]

when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way

[nico-thenecromancer]

Truly the representation I need

i love being polyamorous cuz my wife gets to hang out with and have crushes on other girls she talks to over the computer while i play splatoon. and thats awesome

[nico-thenecromancer]

[nico-thenecromancer]

Batman: * enters the room with a bunch of children following behind *

JLA: ???

Green Lantern: Huh

Green Arrow: Batman, who the fuck are these kids?

Batman: Language

Batman: These are my children. Agent A is sick so I had to bring then in

Wonder Woman: I am not acquainted with the hero know as 'agent a'

Aquaman: As long as they don't cause trouble I don't see the issue

Flash: ???

Flash: You don't see the issue? Batman didn't have any kids until not that long ago where did they COME FROM???

Batman: ...

Batman: Oldest one i found in the circus

Batman: Second eldest was born from the shadows

Green Arrow: Wha-

Batman: Third one, i found in the trash

Batman: Fourth one followed me home after I forgot the door open

Batman: And my youngest my ex mailed to me

Aquaman: Mailed??

Batman: I tried to return him but the post office guy said neither Heaven nor Hell wanted him

Batman: Or anyone in Gotham, for that matter

JLA: ...

Flash: ...

Flash: ... sorry I asked

[nico-thenecromancer]

[nico-thenecromancer]

More Fantasy western stuff

[nico-thenecromancer]

Me when I lie

I'm so normal about my interests

[nico-thenecromancer]

the Star Wars fandom isn't having enough fun with the acronym for the Confederacy of Independent Systems but this one youtuber is showing us the way

[nico-thenecromancer]

[nico-thenecromancer]

sometimes i wish i had facial hair

like sexy stubble or something that would be so cool