nightdreams-and-daymares

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The holy trinity

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A found poem made entirely of subject lines from spam emails from Donald Trump and his children that I keep receiving despite not wanting anything to do with Donald Trump and his children whatsoever:

Congratulations!

You have been formally selected

I think you would be a great fit

The best of the best

Did I miss your name?

Thank you, Megan

Accept your invitation

Don’t wait any longer

We’ve got to fight back

This is how bad I want you on my team

18 MILLION DOLLARS

Get Dad something special

Chicken or steak?

President Trump has upped the stakes

Want to meet the President?

This may be your only chance

I’ve never done this before

Double your chances of meeting me

Do you remember this day last year?

It’s the best day of the year

Today is important

You’ve been hand selected

You’re one of the best

The Deep State vs. Megan

We WILL stop the lies

Tell us the truth

It’s only a matter of time

We need you

President Trump really needs you on his team

He personally invited YOU

I’m about to go onstage

It’s not too late

Can you keep a secret?

Jesus is racist?

I’ve got something BIG planned

Biggest scandal of all time

Here we go

WE DID IT!

He’s BACK

Florida looks good on you

Your name is MISSING

NO KNEELING

You can do better

I’ve convinced my father to give you another chance

They want to see my father fail

Where were you, Megan?

I have something important to tell you

They’ve gone crazy

Are you there?

My father requested your help

My father needs your support

We can’t do it without you

We’re just waiting on you

We can’t wait any longer

We’re running out of time

The clock is ticking

These are acts of terror

Does this email work?

There might have been a mistake

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Second batch! Good thing I’m not going anywhere anytime soon because on top of everything else to be drawn, there are quite a few of these that I still have to finish! Which ones would you like to see first?

Options are: Lie, Deadly, Train, Loyal, Riddle, Family, Letters, Pink, Sweet & Hand.

Thanks for the support & stay safe ❤️

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losing people is so interesting bc like. no i don't want to speak to you ever again. yes i think about you on your birthday.

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what if i was evil and ran torwards you at very fast speeds

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Fortune Teller reading my palm: It just says “yikes.”

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I appreciate this detailed commentary

So everyone has their own preference as to which Harry Potter movie had the best style. I’ll still always love the Chris Columbus movies better than anything else because I love the wonky way the wizards dressed, the bright, warm, colors, the layout of Hogwarts and how it all felt inviting and magical. A lot of that admittedly comes from nostalgia—it was always these first two movies that were on the big library posters or the coloring books or the bookmarks that you’d get at the Scholastic Fair. But, even now, if I had to look at all eight films and pick a Hogwarts that feels like Hogwarts, the world that feels like the magical world of Harry Potter, I’d pick the first two films. (And the first two video games but that’s besides the point.) 

And even though I get why other people love other directors/styles, I still wonder what the later movies, especially the last movies, would have looked like if they had kept the lighting/warmth/style of the first two movies. 

Because…no offense to the people who worked on the lighting and coloring of the last few movies but…have you looked at them lately?

I mean…really…have you looked at them? Have you seen them? Have you seen anything about them?

“Death Eaters are on top of the castle!” - Ron bleated.

Really? How can you tell? What do your Ron-ish eyes see that we can’t?

Look at the scene where Harry activates the stone and sees his dead family:

Admittedly this Youtube video might have made it a bit greener than it normally was but I can’t tell because I remember it being pretty darn green.

Imagine if they had approached the last few movies with the same warmth as they did in the first movie:

“But that’s just because of the fire.”

Hey, at least they had a lighting source. I’m kidding. But, look, even when Harry wasn’t surrounded by the flames, the shot was still well lit:

Compare that shot of Voldemort with this:

Why are the scenes so dark/green in the last movie?!

I’m not even remotely an expert in film/directing/etc. but I gotta imagine, just from looking at it, that blue will always be better than green? At least, it looks a heck of a lot better in this scenario.

And here’s the thing, the reason I keep wondering what these films would have looked like in Chris Columbus’ style is because I love the style for reasons others don’t: it’s too childish, too saccharine. It would conflict with the themes of their lives getting darker and grittier. Yes, it absolutely would. But imagine how interesting that would be. Yeah, any movie can make the scenes dark to show the darkness that the characters are facing. Seriously, look at those Death Eaters. So much darkness. But I keep thinking about the first Kingdom Hearts game, and the idea was that the Disney characters always smiled no matter what they were facing, so, when Sora stabs himself to death, he gives this big, cheesy, smile:

My son…look at my son!

Anyway, the point is that this has always stuck with me, ever since I was a child, because it’s a juxtaposition. It wasn’t what I was expecting. If he had looked determined, it would have been an okay scene, but we would have expected him to look determined. The kid is stabbing himself. Instead, he has this bright smile on his face and the colors are bright and cheerful and it makes you realize just how much darkness has infected this magical world.

Imagine if they had translated that into the last few Harry Potter movies. Because they were kids, they were kids at war, and I wonder how making the tone more warm and childish would have changed the way we viewed them…I mean…it definitely would have changed the way we viewed them because increasing the lighting/color would have ensured that the scenes could be viewed……look at that Death Eater scene…

Anyway, imagine if, in Half Blood Prince, when Bellatrix blew out the Great Hall, instead of already looking dark and depressing because of the movie’s signature move of adding lots of browns and grays and shadows:

Imagine if it had looked as warm/inviting as when Hagrid had returned:

Because here’s the thing…if you suck away all of the magic and whimsy and then destroy the place, it doesn’t have as much of an impact, because you’ve already taken away the magic and whimsy! It’s just a husk of a building you once knew. If they had kept the same warm tones, the same wonky clothes, the same magical atmosphere, and then set everything on fire and killed people left and right, it would have been a complete painful whiplash.

Like imagine the Hagrid returning scene. I know it’s film-only but it’s my favorite scene in all of the films. Just think about it. Leaving Hogwarts is playing. It pans through the Great Hall. Everyone you love is there. You see it pan through the window and the beautiful, exterior, shot of the castle, Harry’s home, your home. Now imagine all of that but it’s on fire and people are screaming. All of a sudden, it’s not a dark, depressing, husk of a building that’s being destroyed, it’s the warm, inviting, building you’ve always known. It’s your home. Wouldn’t that be so much worse? Wouldn’t it be so much more impactful?

Eh, to me it would, but again, everyone has their preferences.

(Some are just more magical than others.)

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Why is it when something happens it is always you three?

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might fuck around and read a 500 page physical published book in one sitting like it’s 2006 and I’m being bullied in middle school so I take refuge in the library and inhale books at a frightening speed that I have not been able to replicate since

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whotever… im donot have to listen to anybody

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Shazam! (2019) dir. David Sandberg

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In other news, reading the reviews for Cats had become my new favorite pastime:

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“I feel so compelled to give a detailed answer to everything. People tell me over and over, ‘Jenny, you don’t have to say everything.’ But I forget. I straight-up forget, and I’m not sure how to change without completely silencing myself.” Jenny Slate for Marie Claire