nindarestu

[nindarestu]

Hello 28!

It surely is not the best situation at the moment, yet there are so many things in life I am grateful for. Indeed, Tuhan ku sangat baik!

[nindarestu]

Aside of the efforts, skills and time, guess I invested so much feelings as well. Not only to the product itself, but to the people. To the whole team.

December is coming near and I am not so ready to part ways. I’ll finally be having all the members of the squad gather in office after almost 6 months together. Yet everyone is soon to begin their new journey in their new designated space. Let me carefully prepare my heart for it.

[nindarestu]

I think I should really validate my feelings by letting it comes out to the surface periodically, instead of keeping it hidden until then it blows up all at once uncontrollably.

I hate being so fragile in public, but it wasn’t in a state that I could anymore hold nor control. In this point, I realized that those feelings, worries and anxieties have consumed me.

[nindarestu]

Less than a month until another new start. Worries everywhere.

[nindarestu]

There we go again. Kinda saw this coming, has always been in mind - actually. Yet still… it’s heartbreaking. It really is, for real.

[nindarestu]

Wednesday, October 19, 2022.

23.59 WIB

Today I just drove my car, on my own for the very first time after practicing, waiting and hesitating for so long!

I drove it to office then parked it by my own in the basement. Drove back home when the rain was pouring down all the way - twas hazy yet I made it home safely thank God, Alhamdulillaah.

For goodness sake, yes I finally just win over my own self. It was a long and hard battle but I made it! Proud.

This day shall be remembered in my memory.

[nindarestu]

Well, am I?

Are you, Nin?

[nindarestu]

I messed up. Again.

[nindarestu]

At times, some things are better left seen. Just let the heart enjoy it at its most while it lasts.

[nindarestu]

During this early 4 months standing on my new shoes, I am pretty much blessed and privileged to have all these peeps running with me as a Team. Indeed, God is Great. Through all the thick and thin, those positive minds and attitudes, all the supports and collaboration went well and means so much.

Tho I am still much lacking on this, I hope I could always learn and be a better, better and way more helpful collaborator for these guys through times. I won’t ever get bored of saying how awesome u guys are. All did greattt and let’s continue to rock on Q4 and upcoming years, guys. Cheers!

Sincerely, ur noobs PM.

[nindarestu]

Professional anxiety at its best.

[nindarestu]

Sick, of… Idk. Too many things?

Mau nangis dulu aja, boleh? :”

[nindarestu]

Semakin Mahal

Mimpi-mimpi ini perlu biaya; berupa waktu, tenaga, pikiran. Yang ternyata, tak pernah kubayarkan. Sekarang, waktu telah berlalu, tenaga tak sekuat dulu, dan pikiran ini penuh dengan kekhawatiran dan ketakutan. Mimpi itu semakin mahal harganya. Dan aku semakin tak bisa membayarnya. Kurniawan Gunadi

[nindarestu]

I’m back here. Now almost a year since this post. A year in this new journey. I am thrilled, yet I do have so much worries. If I’d say I’m tired, may I?

September 18th, 2021.

Just finished hosting the first virtual gathering ever for current company.

Leading the committee, pouring all my heart into designing and making it as a great, meaningful and memorable event. Along with the other colleagues.

Now there is not much left.

Counting the days to the start of another new journey.

Worry. Excited. All mixed at once.

Three days left and let’s make it the best.

[nindarestu]

It is not easy to open up the lock of the cage set by your own self. Even if it is, it might not be easy for you to finally be able to take your first step out of the cage.

That’s the case for me. Time to time.

Then when I actually find something I think might be worth the effort, the world just doesnt seem to agree.

Again I have to back up before even starting. It’s ok, perhaps still not the time yet.

[nindarestu]

Kala lelah menyapa dalam upaya beribadah, pejamkan mata dan suarakan lirih di dalam dada:

Ya Rabb, aku lakukan ini hanya untukmu ya Rabb. Tidak ada yang lain. Sungguh, tidak ada yang lain. Aku tau bahwa ini tak mudah, namun jangan pernah Engkau biarkan aku menyerah.

Engkau adalah alasan & Engkau adalah jawaban. Engkaulah yang telah memilihkan jalan, maka bersamailah hamba selalu di dalam naungan keridhaanMu.

Semoga Engkau berkenan terima semua persembahan ini ya Rabb. Agar nanti Engkau izinkan kami yang rapuh ini, mampu... mampu untuk bersimpuh menemuiMu—melihat indah wajahMu di keabadian surga milikMu.

[nindarestu]

September 18th, 2021.

Just finished hosting the first virtual gathering ever for current company.

Leading the committee, pouring all my heart into designing and making it as a great, meaningful and memorable event. Along with the other colleagues.

Now there is not much left.

Counting the days to the start of another new journey.

Worry. Excited. All mixed at once.

Three days left and let’s make it the best.