ninetyscnds - Tumblr blog

[ninetyscnds]

I was born 90 seconds before Nell, and I’d use that to, you know… if we had a fight or if I wanted something, I’d say I was the oldest, so she had to do what I said. And she let me get away with it, I mean, even though she knew it was bullshit. The last time I saw her she was driving me to rehab. She dropped me off and she looked at me and she said, “You go in there, and you bring my brother back. Bring my brother back.”

[ninetyscnds]

whcwashe​:

“Yeah, of course ….” 

Liv nods, pushing her hair back from her face as she pulls herself out of bed. The hall lights are flicked on first, just to give them both a moment to adjust, and then the room lights are on a second later. 

“Don’t apologize.” She sighs, scooping a sweater up off the floor to pull around her shoulders. It was freezing, now that she was up and about. Then again, cold had always been her natural state, more or less. 

“Give it a week or two, I’ll probably wake you up at some point too…” She understood the nightmares. The uncontrollable nature of it all. They came back without any warning at all, it wasn’t as if there was anything she could do. He couldn’t get rid of his nightmares, like she couldn’t be rid of the ghosts she saw either. 

“I’m gonna sit next to you, okay?” She pauses, just to give him some warning before she sits, doing her best not to spook him any further. The night felt shot already, full of lingering adrenaline. The last thing either of them needed was to be any jumpier. “It’s just me …” She adds, clearing her throat before she reaches her fingers up to run them through his hair. “Can I get you some water or something? You wanna tell me about it?”

The sigh isn’t meant to put any pressure on Luke, he knows that - but years and years of disappointing others, of being a bit too much, of demanding too much compared to how much he was allowed to, well... Some sounds were just rather off-putting. Triggering, almost. As he watches her move around the place, dressing up and ensuring all dark angles were well-lit again, he feels even more terrible. He could have just done that himself, he knew where the switches were. She didn’t have to be bothered more than she already had been with being woken up.

“Y-yeah,” he says so quietly, as if the volume of his voice had been turned down to 4 out of 50 volume levels. He didn’t feel deserving of this much affection, hell, this much effort in making sure he was okay. Her fingers through his hair feel comforting and tender, making his skin tingle and the hair of his neck rising - but in a good, nice way this time. 

Wetting his lips, he turns his head to look at her, a timid and slightly shaking, sweaty paw reaching over to lay gently on the top of her thigh, returning the affection and attention. Sorry, sorry, sorry he chants in his head, looking at her and how the worry and care about him makes her eyebrows furrow. “I’m okay, thanks.. Light’s are, th-they’re good.”

He bumps his shoulder into hers, breathing a shaking breath and trying a wobbly, quickly-vanishing smile. I’m sorry.

“I just.. it’s the same shit as always,” was said with such defeat, Luke shaking his head to look down to the floor and his socked feet. It was freezing, he had to make a poor fashion choice to ensure his toes didn’t freeze so hard they fell off or something. “The house,, th-the, with the hat.. I try to run, find s-somewhere in the house to hide, but.. Yeah. You know.”

Another quickly fading smile, his hand on her thigh clenching once. 

“What about you...? Took you a bit to fall asleep tonight, huh...?”

[ninetyscnds]

miscellaneous angst starters.

when were you going to tell me?

you can’t keep doing this to yourself.

that’s…a lot of blood.

can you walk?

please don’t lie to me.

you were supposed to leave.

i’m not going anywhere without you.

shh, it’s okay. it was just a dream.

there was nothing more you could have done.

it wasn’t your fault.

this is all my fault.

you aren’t acting like yourself.

i’m never going to let [her/him/them] hurt you again.

you’re hurting me.

don’t ever do that again.

go to hell.

please don’t cry.

you have to stay awake.

i wish i could take the pain away.

you could have died.

hey – stay with me.

it’ll be over soon.

did you ever love me?

i’m sorry. i can’t do this anymore.

things won’t always hurt this bad.

you passed out.

how much have you had?

i’m okay. it’s all fine.

it’s not okay! you’re not fine!

let me get you something for the pain.

it’s nothing. it’s just a bruise.

it’s clearly not nothing.

have you been to the doctor?

i didn’t mean the things i said.

i thought we meant something.

people who are okay don’t act like this.

you don’t have to go through this by yourself.

i don’t want you to be alone.

please don’t regret me.

i heard you crying.

you need to get some rest.

when was the last time you ate something?

i’m worried about you.

did you have another nightmare?

[name], there’s nobody there.

i want to be happy but i don’t think i deserve it.

please talk to me.

why are you mad at me?

alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.

don’t leave me.

did you do this to yourself?

it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.

tell me what’s wrong.

tell me how to make it better.

why don’t you care?

get the hell away from me.

please don’t do this.

i can’t believe that you lied to me.

just…stay for the night.

you obviously can’t be trusted to take care of yourself, so let me do it for you.

you can’t die. i won’t let you.

just hang on, okay?

hold my hand if you need to.

i’m sorry.

why do you have a gun?

don’t panic.

just breathe.

you’re bleeding.

i’m trying to stop the bleeding.

you’ve been crying, i can tell.

you should have told me sooner.

i wanted to tell you in person.

a phone call would’ve been nice.

i hate you.

i love you.

[ninetyscnds]

whcwashe​:

‘ i’m sorry i woke you. ’ || @ninetyscnds​ 

“ – No, no – it’s totally fine.” 

She frowns, just long enough to scrub roughly at her face before she shakes her head and blearily sits up. 

“Not like I sleep all that well to begin with.” She does her best to smile, at least to put him at ease. He always looked uncomfortable. Like he was trying to fit himself into a smaller space.  And her voice is hushed for some reason, despite the fact that there’s not exactly anyone else there to wake up. It just felt appropriate. Whispering when it was dark. 

“Are you okay?” She pauses, reaching for him just as quickly, not sure if she should pull him back into bed, or pull herself further up out of it. “Do you – do you want to go back to sleep or should I turn on a light?” 

He’s been shaking since he woke up, sweat gathering in little droplets at the edge of his hairline. Part of him had wanted to scream as he was pulled out of his sleep, plagued by his mind and muddled memories, all messed up into yet another nightmare. But mindful of Liv by his side, somehow, even in his most frightened state, he had only gasped as though breaking through a surface of deep, dark waters as he sat up urgently, turning halfway out of the bed - ready to flee, almost.

He feels horrible as he says it, quiet and voice a little crooked and croaked from the fear; “I’m sorry I woke you,” as he sees her stir besides him, those intelligent eyes blinking awake. Damnit. 

As she tries to joke, he mirrors her little smile and runs a hand behind his neck, brushing away the clammy, warm sweat there. At least he woke up this time... 

“Uhm,” he tries at first, swallowing thick and looking around into the corners of the room. “I’m-- I’m fine. Is it, w-would you? The light?” 

He knows how he looks as he asks of this - a man of such a large frame seeming so frail and small, almost like a kid needing his night light. 

Liv seems to always get it, though.. to not diminish his fears. Or him.

Turning further out of the bed as the lights are turned on, he plants his elbows on his knees and pushes his face into his clammy hands, sighing hard, trying to zone in on his beating heart. It was just a nightmare... just a nightmare...

“...’m really sorry Liv... Thought I was done with this...” 

[ninetyscnds]

          big boys know the difference between what’s

                                                                          real and į̵̨̻̻̘̟̜̟̻̫̞͈̜͉͚̻̆ͅͅḿ̴͙̩̓͐̒́̓͂͐̚͠a̶̟̪̓̂͆͆̔͊̐̉̏͒̾̈́̕͘ͅg̸͓̘̲͍͉͙̹͊̉̑̅͌̉̈́̄̇͑̈́̓͊̌̈́̾̏͝ḯ̷̡̳̻̰̪̥̭̝̖̰̤͎̉̈́͛͂̀̉͑̓͑̉̎̓̂͋͝n̴̛͍̭͖͓͈̜͉͙̥͙̲̉͂͒̔̽͆́͐̀̅͘͜͝ä̷̧̢̡̗̼̮͉͈̲̙̪̼̩͔̣̩̿̾̒͐̃̏̅͂̆͘͜͠r̴̢̭̐̑̈́̒̒̒̎̍͘͘̚͝͝͝y̵̫͍̠̌̔͝                                        isn’t that right, dad?

rules | verses | bio penned by mel. est. nov. ‘19. revived nov ‘22. tv verse w/ book influences.

promo template cred: (x)

[ninetyscnds]

... is it time, maybe? To come back from the dead? 👀

[ninetyscnds]

It’s a twin thing.

[ninetyscnds]

[ninetyscnds]

It put on different faces so that we’d be still and quiet. While it digested.

[ninetyscnds]

“Whenever each child, each sibling, is in the Red Room, something in the fantasy is red. And it’ll be a very, very small thing. When Luke gets taken to the hotel room, he’s worn Converse throughout the show, and all of a sudden his Converse are red. And it’s so slight you can barely even see it. And I think Steven is wearing a red jumper in his fantasy.  And so there’s something at the end, Kate Siegel, who plays Theo, kind of pointed it out to me — with Luke’s sobriety cake… She went, ‘The cake is red.’”  - Oliver Jackson-Cohen on TheWrap

[ninetyscnds]

1.02 // 1.10

[ninetyscnds]

The last time I saw her, she was driving me to rehab. So she… she dropped me off. And she… she looked at me and she said, “You go in there and you bring my brother back. Bring my brother back.” I was born 90 seconds before Nell, but she was always my big sister.

Oliver Jackson-Cohen as Luke Crain in The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

[ninetyscnds]

Easter  holiday! I just got my iPad home so I’ll spend tonight just fucking around on that, getting to know Procreate and all that. I’ll be on tomorrow to pop some more things into the queue. 

Have a nice wednesday <3

[ninetyscnds]

The Haunting of Hill House: 1x04 The Twin Thing.

“You know, I was always a scared little kid, and I thought I’d get braver as I got older, but I didn’t. I just got scared of new things.”

[ninetyscnds]

"you can’t keep doing this to yourself." from Dan /:

miscellaneous angst starters .// (meme)

The world is spinning. Every breath feels heavy and hot, like dragon’s breath, burning up his throat and the pit of his stomach. Luke’s first love and one he had bonded with Dan over – or, the loss of that love, at least – had been the first thing he had tried to reconnect with, that day after leaving the clinic. Just a small drink. Just one, two, maybe a six pack, he can handle that. Maybe share some whiskey with someone at the bar, maybe hustle your way to another pack of beer, maybe.. maybe.. 

A million maybes later, a couple of weeks and that first lover becomes too boring, too dull. She’s too vanilla for him, too simple, Luke needs more and it’s on his way to finding more that he, by chance, bumps in to his old friend. 

“I’m.. d-doin’ nothin’,” he slurs, feeling dizzy, woozy. He’s not sure if he has stopped drinking the last few days. “I’m– I’m fine Dan, I’m.. a-anyway why– why are you out here, I-, thi-this isn’t your clinic or the uhm.. are you – are you back to drinking?” 

[ninetyscnds]

Well, my sister kinda told me to. No, not really. She…we’re kind of in each other’s heads. It’s been like that since we were kids. It’s a twin thing.

[ninetyscnds]

a phone call would’ve been nice.

“Yeah I’m– I’m sorry, Steve, I-, I lost the phone and I didn’t wanna tell you right away.” 

Please don’t be mad at him, Steve. Please. It might have been the third phone since he got to LA, but you don’t know what a burner goes for on the streets these days and prices for a good time are high as hell…

“—’cause I lost the other ones too, you know. I’m sorry. C-can I come in? It’s freezing out here…”