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Qanat Quartier, The Pearl

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The Probability of Us

Metaphysics of Us side story

Jisoo x Mino

Originally posted on twitter

Roll of a dice.

Toss coin.

Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Chances and probabilities.

Uncertainty excites me. Weird ba?

Naniniwala kasi ako na anything is possible. Some things are unlikely, some things will never happen -- but they always could at any time. If there's anything that nature has taught us, that is impossible is probable. Kaya hindi ako naniniwala sa mga hindi posibleng bagay. Lahat posible, lalo na kung gusto mo at gagawan mo ng paraan.

"Heads, gusto niya din ako. Tails hindi."

Nag-toss ako ng piso. Habang nasa ere yun binubulong ko na sana heads ang lumabas. At dahil sa gravity, mabilis yun nalaglag sa palad ko.

Pagsilip ko, heads. Napangiti ako.

"Heads, sasabihin ko. Tails, hindi."

Nag-toss ako ng piso. Habang nasa ere yun binubulong ko na sana heads ang lumabas. At dahil sa gravity, mabilis yun nalaglag sa palad ko.

Pagsilip ko, tails. Napasimangot ako.

Binulsa ko yung piso.

Saan ka?

Text ko sa kanya.

Library.

Sige puntahan kita.

Bumuga ako ng malalim na hinga.

Sasabihin ko pa din sa kanya.

"No."

It's funny kung paanong binasag ng isang salita ang paniniwala ko.

"No, Jisoo."

Nakulangan yata siya sa sinabi niya kaya dinugtungan niya ng pangalan ko.

Bakit?

Pangit ba ako? Maputi naman siko ko ah?! Pero tinawanan niya lang ako. Eh hindi naman ako nagbibiro.

Bakit?

Turn off ba na sinasabi ko ang feelings ko sa kanya? Tinanong ko pa kung baog siya at worried sya sa magiging future namin. Syempre biro lang. Pero sinabi ko na tanggap ko siya kung sakali at mag-aampon na lang kami ng mga pusa.

Bakit?

Pero sabi nya na walang dahilan.

Pwede ba yun? Wala? Eh lahat ng bagay may dahilan. Naisip ko na lang na priority niya lang ang pag-aaral. Focused din siguro siya sa music. Baka nga dahil don.

"Seryoso, akala ko mutual kayo, eh." sabi sakin ni Aru isang araw pagkatapos. Nakasalubong ko siya sa canteen kaya sumabay na ako kumain.

"Sabi ko lasagna bakit baked mac to? Sinabi ko na nga gusto ko eh iba pa din binigay." Pagrereklamo ko sa libre niya sa akin. Medyo makapal ang mukha.

"Ubos na eh. Bayaan mo na, di kasi lahat ng gusto mo para sa'yo."

"Wow. Wachasay."

"O baka di mo deserve yung gusto mo. Pwede rin the other way around."

"Bakit parang wala kang kwenta kasama?"

Magkaibigan nga sila dahil tinawanan niya din ako.

Umattend ako ng block huddle para malibang kaya lang hindi talaga naaayon ang tadhana sa akin. Magkasama na naman sila nung partner niya sa Finance. Magka-posas pa ang kamay. At labag man sa kalooban kong sabihin pero ang ganda niya lang talaga. Hindi ko naman magawang mainis dahil ang bait niya. At saka, wala naman siyang kasalanan.

"May boyfriend naman yung crush mo, eh!" sabi ko sa kanya habang tinatabihan siya sa room.

"Alam ko."

"May alam din ako."

"Ano?" sabi niya pero di pa din ako nililingon. Sinundan ko yung tingin niya. Kaso sana hindi na lang pala. Nakatingin siya ulit kay Sandara, busy na busy sa cellphone at naka-ngiti. Ang sakit. Yung makita na hindi niya ako nakikita. Eh nandito lang naman ako sa tabi niya.

Hindi ako dapat pupunta sa huling gig nila sa Untitled pero wala, naisip ko na huli na din naman na to. Inantay kong matapos sila mag-usap bago ko siya lapitan. Sana all nakakayakap. May sumilay na lungkot sa mukha niya nung makita kung sino ang pinuntahan ni Sandara.

"You're in love with her but she will never know."

"Psh. Dami mong alam."

"Karma mo yan kasi binasted mo ako!"

"Bahala ka sa buhay mo-" di na ako nag-isip pa basta ko na lang siya hinalikan sa pisngi. Kung di man maging kami atleast nakahalik ako. Joke!

Tinapangan ko yung mukha ko. "Grad gift mo na sa akin yan. Pero it's a curse from me. Pag nakita mo ako after grad di na kita papansinin. Ikaw naman maghahabol sa akin. Che!" sinabi ko yun with all the confidence na natitira sa sarili ko. Saka ko siya tinalikuran.

Naniwala ako na anything is possible. Basta gusto mo at may paraan, mangyayari.

Pero nabudol lang yata ako ni Paulo Coelho. Sabi niya, if you want something with all your heart, the universe conspires to help you achieve it. Scam. Gusto ko siya ng buong puso pero wala namang ginawa ang universe para matulungan ako.

Nung araw ng graduation, tinanaw ko na lang siya pero di na nilapitan. Kasi ganoon din naman. Kahit malapit ako sa kanya, parang nakatanaw lang din naman ako sa malayo.

"Lapitan mo na." Siniko pa ako ni Aru. Inirapan ko lang siya.

Naglabas ako ng coin sa purse na dala ko.

Heads, lalapit ako. Tails hindi.

Nag-toss ako ng piso. Habang nasa ere yun binubulong ko na sana heads ang lumabas. At dahil sa gravity, mabilis yun nalaglag sa palad ko.

Pagsilip ko, heads. Napailing ako.

"Ayaw ko nga."

Binalik ko yung piso.

Oftentimes, we think of reasons and excuses on why we can't be with someone we love. Pero minsan, wala naman talagang rason na pumipigil, walang bagay o tao o pangyayari ang humahadlang. Minsan kaya hindi nangyayari kasi.. hindi lang talaga. Wag ka nang magimbento ng kung ano-anong dahil at kasi. Stop making excuses and use them like a pat on your head or a tap on your back. There was never a consolation. Yun lang yon. Hindi ka niya gusto. Hindi ngayon. Hindi bukas. Hindi kailanman.

Probability does not tell us exactly what will happen. A flip of a coin or a roll of a dice will never give me the chance to be with him. Because when it comes to us, there's always a dreaded scale: the ratio of one millimeter to a billion light years.

And I will never come close.

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a video i took months ago. oddly, it fits the first half of the song.

have a good day, uno. ♡

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Needed to watch that Scarlet Heart episode so I have a good reason to cry. Just needed to let out all the pent-up emotions.

I stopped myself from crying too many times just because I don't want to. But sometimes you need to. You have to.

I did. Cried for hours. I've never felt relieved.

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Hey! I cannot help but wonder what top studied? Was he able to attend classes like a regular student tho? I imagine that it might be hard to concentrate and learn when probs even your prof is your fanboy lol

He majored in Theater and Film studies! Also as far as I know as long as his schedule permits he attended like a regular student. But you know, we are talking about the genes of a Choi it’s difficult for a man this tall and handsome gets unnoticed. No matter what he does even if he hides himself in a jacket and a mask people will still turn their heads for him.

Here are photos of him on his university (Note: This is not a photoshoot): 

I mean look at that stature look at that chest look at HIM.

And here’s this little bunny eating in the university cafeteria:

(comment from knetz: “Other people’s food probably got cold because they were too busy staring keke”)

I hope he learned in his class that Rude and Choi Seunghyun are synonymous. 

“You can tell he’s a celebrity no matter what he wears“ —I AGREE. THIS IS T H E LOOK. THE HAIR COLOR, THE SPECS AND HIS OUTFIT CAN U BELIEVE HE IS REAL.

and my personal favorite out of all the internet comments:

“I drink out of those cups too, but it looks like silver in his hands.”

LOL

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I still hope for the best.

As I always do.

Everything will be okay in the end.

*pats back* I'm proud of you, self. ✨

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An arm extended, as if quite naturally, along the back of the sofa; the other's head gradually comes to rest against it; a shoulder leaning on his side; a knee which doesn't move away.

Language is a skin. It has words rather than fingers, a voice instead of an arm. It speaks more than anything.

And it talked to him.

Discreetly.

Of a single signified.

Ramifies it to the point of explosion.

An affirmation.

A confirmation.

One day, he would tell her stories of his language, narrate it to fill her in.

One day, he would enwrap her with his words.

One day.

From my latest update of DG AU.

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Unpopular opinion: Writers don't write what readers want to see, they write what they want readers to see. ☺️

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mga kapatid ko nga pala.

highschool barkada will always be THAT barkada.

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I'm not emotional nor emotionless

I'm just so so

It's just one of those nights

Do I have to laugh to be okay?

Do I have to cry to be sad?

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:(

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Habang nakikita ko kung gano ka nahihirapan, sabi ko sa sarili ko, kung mawawala ka wag nang patagalin para di ka na maghirap. Pero agad kong binawi sa isip ko yun kasi ayaw kong mawala ka. Nung nakita ko kung pano mo kinuha ang huli mong paghinga.. yung mga mata mong wala ng buhay.. Sobrang sakit.

You're at peace now, baby. No more pain in cat heaven. I can't imagine what you had to go through the last 48 hours. It was so painful for me. But my pain wouldn't amount to the pain you went through.

Thank you for making me happy everyday.

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WIP