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The Over-thinker

I came across an article on Substack talking about people who tend to overthink just about everything. As I was reading, I realized that almost everyone could probably relate to it in some way. But there’s one good friend in particular who came to mind, it honestly felt like the article was written just for her.

So to her and to all the overthinkers,

You think so much. Too much. You replay conversations, and try to read between lines that weren’t meant to be read. You anticipate needs, and plan for possibilities.

In the midst of all that caring and calculating, you forget yourself. You forget what it means to want something just because you want it. Your desires blur beneath layers of responsibility, empathy, and fear of letting others down. You hesitate to speak up, and to choose for yourself. Your value is in how well you understand, and how much you can give without breaking.

But sometimes, late at night, when the world goes quiet. You sense that something is missing, but you can’t name it. Maybe it’s peace? It’s joy? Maybe it’s just the simple freedom to be you, without feeling guilty for it.

You hold so much space for others, but who holds space for you?

May you learn to rest your mind. May you give yourself the same kindness you so freely give to others.

And may you finally believe that you don’t have to earn peace because you already deserved it.

x

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Living for Everyone but Me

There is a subtle pain that comes with living a life that doesn’t feel like your own. It grows over time, like dust collecting where you barely notice it.

You wake up every day, put on the right smile, say the right things, and doing what is expected. Somewhere along the way, you stop asking what you really want. Because it doesn’t seem to matter anymore.

You become the good friend. The reliable partner. The perfect child. You learn how to bend, to shrink, to mold yourself into shapes that fit everyone else’s needs. You start to measure your worth in how little space you take up, how well you can please others, how effectively you can silence your own desires so someone else’s can take their place.

And at first, it feels noble. Selfless, even. You think, “this is what love looks like.” But over time, the weight of always being "enough" for everyone else begins to crush the parts of you that were meant to be free. You stop hearing your own voice. You lose sight of your dreams. You forget what it feels like to choose yourself.

One day, you catch your reflection and don’t recognize the person staring back. Not because you’ve changed, but because you’ve never truly been allowed to be. You realize you've been living a life scripted by expectation, not authenticity. A life painted with colors that aren’t yours. And the saddest part is, you don’t know where to begin reclaiming what you lost, because you’re not even sure what it was.

But maybe, just maybe. There’s still time. Time to say “no” without guilt. Time to ask, “what do I want?” and listen without shame. Time to disappoint others if it means showing up for yourself. Time to remember that you are not selfish for choosing your own joy. You are not broken for needing more. You are simply human and your life belongs to you.

x