no-thought-crimes

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I totally love how tumblr's tagging culture is so deeply embedded in its users that I can pretty easily search for zoo or pro para stuff without ever seeing hate bc I block the anti zoo etc tags. Makes me glad I left Twitter bc it was miserable on there as a paraphile

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one down two more to decide on :}}}}}}} this is going to be so fun

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Bestie just started a convo about supporting consanguinamory unprompted. Should I marry her? /j

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Mfs who have never experienced csa will get mad at you for reading fics with underage characters like you're supposed to have this perfectly unaltered sexuality despite never having the chance to develop a normal one. Like shut the fuck up and leave my autoped ass alone

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Almost started to feel guilty about browsing some specific erotica when it hit me that the genre/fantasy I was looking at is directly tied to my trauma and a desire for safety/love/comfort so I quickly shut that shit up. I refuse to feel bad for indulging in ideas that only make me feel good because my parents royally fucked me up. Take it up with Freud idfk

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you guys are so fucking stupidddd omg "rapists and pedophiles should be chemically castrated, this is a good thing" quick tell me about historical precedents of this idea and who or what ideology they are connected to......... 🤔

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“we need more weird art!” but not anything that makes me feel uncomfortable or alienated or challenged. “weird art” but i don’t want to consider the perspective of anyone i might have real irrevocable differences from. “weird art” but everything must be carefully couched in the language of white middle-class american sensibilities at all times. “weird art” but it has to be picked from a list of pre-established “weird” tropes that i recognize from carefully curated lists on letterboxd.

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my tips for anon who feels gross about their attraction to their sister (worked for me, might not work for you. worth a try tho :] )

1. remember that attraction is not action. your thoughts are just that: thoughts. feeling attracted to someone is not a crime, and it doesn't hurt them in any way. kinda like feeling attracted to a stranger? you're not gonna go around telling a random girl you find her sexy, that would be creepy. but humans are usually creatures with a sex drive and they're bound to find other humans attractive, and that doesn't hurt anyone. you said she's straight and it wont work out, so i assume you're not about to tell her that you feel that attraction - then we dont have any awkwardness to fear about :) thought crimes aren't a thing!

2. let's simplify this. she's an attractive person. you are attracted to women, i suppose. so, you see an attractive woman and you feel attracted to her. pretty logical.

familial relationships are a construct just as much as any other relationship - they vary and differ. some people treat their uncles and aunts almost like second parents, yet i feel they're just a bit closer than strangers to me. some people hug and kiss their siblings on a regular basis, for others its really awkward and unusual. in some cultures its completely normal to bathe together with family members, others could never imagine to see their family naked. you get me. its not set in stone to see your family a typical way. it's not set in stone that you have to feel 100% platonically about her.

3. many people get the "eugh, its unnatural therefore its nasty" reaction to incest. but hear me out, is human sexuality "natural" compared to other animals? we have many ways of sex for pure pleasure instead of mating and having offspring. we want sex just for that and we act rationally instead of taking the first occasion to pass on our lineage. we make toys, we have kinks for body parts that in no way relate to sexual organs - we do it so weirdly compared to other animals. this all goes for being gay too, although there are homosexual behaviors in animals, humans do it in a much more complex way.

(one could even argue that medicine is unnatural too - taking chemicals into our bodies to prevent natural selection. which should, crudely saying, "weed out" the weaker ones, like in nature. illnesses and parasites exist to control the population of animals, yet we take care of others to lengthen their lifespan. we incubate premature babies to make sure they live despite the disadvantage. its all so "unnatural". )

anyways i got on a bit of a tangent there. it may be not "natural", as it is not the most efficient way to mate and pass on healthiest, strongest offspring. but what the hell if im gay then that doesnt even apply to me. i think consanguinamory (aka incest) relates to queerness a lot, and is met with the same shitty contrarguments as queerness is.

4. unusual attraction always takes a toll on a person, it's hard to feel like you're the only one around, that youre a weirdo or something. a bit akin to growing up queer in a very cisheteronormative society. you feel alienated and things like that. but guess what - we're all here for the very same reason :) you're not alone in this, we've all felt that one way or another. it's harder to speak up about it publicly since its illegal in so many places to be in an incestous relationship, so people don't really go around saying "im in a romantic relationship with my parent! im in a sexual one with my sibling!" etcetera. and many people aren't even in relationships, they just have those feelings. hell, maybe you know someone else who had a crush on a family member, but they just kept it to themself just as you keep your attraction to your sister. but here, anonymously on the internet, you can find people to find comfort in. i especially recommend r/incestisntwrong on reddit and Full Marriage Equality blog, as it helped me to feel a bit better with myself as i was reading others be unashamed about themself.

but like, think about it. if incest so bad, then why is it such a popular fantasy, a popular trope in pornography? ofc there's the "step" label put on everything to make it more palatable, but its always the family part. when its put that way, it doesnt seem so uncommon all of a sudden.

5. unrequited attraction, whether romantic or sexual, will always suck. you want that, they don't. can't really do shit about it. i was in love with my best friend and i knew for sure she wasn't in love with me. i still fantasized about being with her every night, yet I didn't tell her because i knew it would strain our friendship, put us both in an awkward position. i still loved her in a platonic, friendly way and showed her just that part. (back to number 1, my thoughts didn't harm anyone, they were just thoughts). now im in love with my brother (who's taken. ouch.), and its pretty much the same situation. so i try to not be harsh on myself just because we're related. what im getting at is that its the exact same situation, sometimes friends are as close as family, and any unrequited advances would make things weird between us. yet falling in love with a best friend or feeling sexually attracted to them is a very common thing and struggle. a sibling is kind of a friend-since-always in that matter - just born from the same parents. so what im getting at, is that it requires similiar, if not the same measures to overcome that struggle.

this came off not really as advice but as a long ramble since i have A LOT to say about incest and how it's not wrong, yet I don't have much people to share it with. i still sometimes feel like a nasty freak about it, but now i kinda embrace being a nasty freak ;) you know.

and sorry if it felt patronizing in any way, i didn't intent it to be ofc. and very sibling-focused, since thats what i and that anon are dealing with, but i of course mean it about any family member. i just hope that anon (and everyone else in that predicament) could maybe feel a bit what im trying to convey and what im getting at. sucks that its all cloaked in such a big taboo, but we always were and will be here in our little consang world. i love all of you guys !! (in a familial way... wink wink ;))

signed, a creature in love with their older brother <3

(if theres any inconsistencies or smthn doesnt make sense then i apologize, its the middle of night and i just spent an hour writing an ask for an incest confession blog, someone should take internet away from me (and brackets too i abuse them so much omfg))

Beautifully said, anon! I hope that this helps our other anonymous asker. Thanks for taking the time to send such a well thought-out response.

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Anyone have advice on how to deal with that gut reaction of "stop it, that's wrong/you're disgusting" when you notice your attraction. Think I'm kinda into my sister but having a hard time dealing, even if it doesn't matter bc she's straight

Advice?

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Incest la vie.

☝️

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Zoos deserve peace, respect and the right to exist 💛

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the main argument i see against incest that I agree with is that almost every single case of it is the result of grooming or csa (the whole "stranger danger" panic of the 80s primarily ignored the most common perpetuaters of CSA were friends, family, or friends of family), to the point that most anti-CSA organizations include incest victim support- yes, it can be consensual, and those individuals should be respected, but legalizing it will just make abuse so much more rampant and normalized.

Legalizing incest doesn't mean legalizing abuse, there are still measures in place to keep children safe. Legalizing incest doesn't mean legalizing rape or child abuse. Incestous abuse is abuse, I'm not arguing with that, however, I do generally disagree with your statement.

I'm not sure if you're familiar, but in New Jersey, it's legal to date your relatives as long as they're from your generation. As far as I'm aware, New Jersey doesn't have a higher rate of incestuous abuse than anywhere else in the United States.

@professorincest, do you have anything to add? Believe it or not, I'm not actually too well versed on the subject.

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"can we normalize-" NO!!!!!! we do not need to expand whats considered normal!!! we need to teach people to stop reacting judgmentally when encountering something new and weird!!!! things dont need to be normal to be respected!!!!!!!!!!

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I was groomed and sorta molested—the touches were just starting to go that direction, yk? "Accidental" boob grabs, ass slaps, earlobe biting, noncon spooning (via ✨️sneaking into my locked room while I slept✨️—by my dad. I was into father/child incest fanfic for a long time, and I hate how many ppl would assume that that meant I enjoyed my abuse or got off to mentally replicating it. Not that I'm saying that's wrong or whatever, but for me, it was always quite the opposite.

I enjoyed that type of fiction because it always featured a father and a relationship that were completely different from mine. In the fic, it was almost always the child ("me", via projection) that initiated the relationship. And unlike irl, in the fic I read, the child was treated with utmost care and caution and respect. Their (my) wellbeing was at the center of attention—not my unfathomably selfish dad's feelings or ego. That is why I loved it.

Since a more rough incident, I am having a hard time engaging with this type of content. But I've always loved other types of incest fic as well. In particular, sibling incest has been a regular favorite of mine since I started reading erotic fiction, because it often plays into my deepest kink: getting caught. I also adore soulmate incest fiction, because the idea of having a destined lover who you get to be with from birth to death is insane.

Anywho. This is definitely my community, even though my experiences with my dad were bad

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This feels like such a non-question/point to me bc like. If all other forms of abuse are still illegal, then legalizing incest should only impact consensual couples, because, yk, the abuse is still illegal. Why would legalizing consensual incest affect the people grooming kids and committing csa? They're not the ones the law would apply to?????

the main argument i see against incest that I agree with is that almost every single case of it is the result of grooming or csa (the whole "stranger danger" panic of the 80s primarily ignored the most common perpetuaters of CSA were friends, family, or friends of family), to the point that most anti-CSA organizations include incest victim support- yes, it can be consensual, and those individuals should be respected, but legalizing it will just make abuse so much more rampant and normalized.

Legalizing incest doesn't mean legalizing abuse, there are still measures in place to keep children safe. Legalizing incest doesn't mean legalizing rape or child abuse. Incestous abuse is abuse, I'm not arguing with that, however, I do generally disagree with your statement.

I'm not sure if you're familiar, but in New Jersey, it's legal to date your relatives as long as they're from your generation. As far as I'm aware, New Jersey doesn't have a higher rate of incestuous abuse than anywhere else in the United States.

@professorincest, do you have anything to add? Believe it or not, I'm not actually too well versed on the subject.